Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

1.

“Good luck Frank.” That is the last thing Karen said to Frank five months ago, since then she’s tried to forget him and let her life move on, but everywhere she goes she thinks that Frank will pop up again asking for favors. She frequently catches herself thinking back to a year ago when she saw Frank for the first time in over two years…

“Got any spare change young lady?”

“Oh yeah of course I do, here you go”

“You haven’t changed, Karen, you know that?”

“Uhh world to Karen” Foggy is raising his voice now. Karen snaps out of it and remembers she’s supposed to be looking over new clientele for Matt and Foggy again since they started up ‘Nelson, Murdock & Page’. “Oh. yeah, sorry. I don’t know where my mind has been lately” Karen says apologetically. “It’s fine, Karen, just please find someone and do it fast, we all really need this.” These last few months for the three of them started off really strong, and it seemed like they were on path with keeping the business going for a while, but then Karen got pulled into Frank’s mess and Matt had been dealing with his usual pushing people away act, because of that Foggy started to pull all the weight. Around two months ago Foggy had given the ultimatum of ‘either you two fix your shit or I’m done.’ And it didn’t matter if Foggy had given that ultimatum or not because business was depleting and nobody wanted their help, and if they did the only payment they received were… baked goods.

“Okay so here’s someone! Rosalina Mendes, 62, lives on her own and has seen an increase of drug related crimes going on in her building. Last week she got assaulted while taking out her trash in the back of the apartment complex. After the incident happened she realized that there was a drug deal going on, and the assailants were two older white men and get this! One was in a cop uniform. She said can give us a deposit of 50 dollars-”

“Which is better than nothing!” Foggy butts in

“Exactly! And then she says she can pay whatever we would want after the case is over, because she can dip into her funds she has saved for a rainy day! Now that I’m saying this out loud, it’s kind of sad... should we be taking her money?”

“Of course we should Karen! Look, she’s offering it and if we have Matt on this, we will definitely be winning which would be doing us all a huge favor! We need to take this one.”

“Okay okay, I’ll contact her and while I’m at it can you please try getting in touch with Matt again, he promised he’d be here.”

After finally getting in touch with both Rosalina and Matt, Matt shows up to help and look over a few more cases until they call it a night. Before going directly back to her apartment Karen decides she needs a reasonably priced coffee and the best place for that is the local diner. While there she is rushed with every memory she has in a diner, from her hometown family diner to the last time she was there with Frank. It becomes too much and almost passes out, a woman with a thick accent comes up to her and asks “Are you alright darling?” Still feeling woozy Karen takes a seat and replies, “Oh, yeah… um could I get a heaping cup of coffee, black? Oh and make sure it's fresh please!”

While waiting, another flashback of Frank comes to her…

“Could I please get a heaping cup of coffee, black, fresh as you got it ?” Frank asks politely with a smile. Karen’s never seen him that pleasant, especially to someone he doesn’t know, it makes her smirk. The same waitress with the thick accent replies, “Of course darling, coming right up.”

“I didn’t know you had this side to you” Karen shyly says

“And what side would that be?”

“That you’re an actual human being, you’re always so stoic, I’ve never seen you be so nice to a stranger.”

“Well maybe I’m just having a good day”
Karen finally gives in and smiles, a full grin.

“I’ve never seen that smile before” Frank replies after a beat, soaking in the image of her.

“I’ve never seen yours either until today. I should honestly write an article on that, the headline would be ‘Frank Castle seen smiling for the first time in the last 20 years- you won’t believe it!’”
Karen is flailing her arms around pretending to be a newspaper hawker.

“Hey, I don’t smile for just anyone”

“Is that so?” Karen says, teasing

“Nope, but I’ll do it for you. I’d do anything for you. Always.”

Karen sees the cup of coffee in front of her and starts to feel guilty because she didn’t notice the waitress coming around to give it to her. She tries to finish as quickly as possible because she's exhausted and just wants this day to end, like every other day for the last five months. She tips the waitress generously and heads back to her apartment. She’s almost at her door and sees Matt dressed in his daredevil suit and almost takes the back way just to not talk to him, but gives up and starts to walk his way.

“What do you want Matt?” She grunts

“Foggy said you had a rough day, I just wanted to make sure you were okay and-”

Karen cuts him off instantly, “Of course I’m not okay Matt, you know what it’s like to lose someone close to you without them actually dying…look I’m sorry, it’s been such a long week and I need to get a full night of sleep.”

“No, of course, I shouldn’t have even asked. Hey, maybe you should take the weekend off, just look through some cases and come back on Monday, Foggy and I can take care of things for the next two days” Matt whispers softly.

“I don’t know, the last time I left you two together alone for that long you guys stopped being friends-”

“We’re fine, Karen, I promise”

“Then it would be great to have the weekend off, Matt, thank you.”

“Well I’ll be on my way then, just wanted to check up on you.” He starts to walk away but Karen goes to grab him and hugs him.

“Thank you Matt, really, thank you” Karen whispers

He chuckles a bit, “for what?”

“Not pushing me away anymore, I really needed you right now and not even I knew that.”

Matt pulls back and smiles at her, “Good night Karen.”

“Good night Matt.”

That was the first night in months where she didn’t have a nightmare.

Chapter Text

2.

Amy has been taking care of Frank for the last few months and has started to worry about him, and she has never once worried about Frank. He’s always been unbelievably strong even in his weakest moments but ever since him and Karen had a falling out he hasn’t been the same. At first she didn’t understand what Karen and Frank were because although they were soft with each other she always believed they hated each other deep down. Her perspective completely changed the last time she saw the two of them and realized that they were utterly obsessed with each other. After Karen left the hospital room Amy begged Frank to go after Karen but he dryly said, “If I go it’ll end up killing her” and went back to sleep.

Frank finally wakes up for the day and looks at the clock, it's 1:56. He jumps up and puts on a plain black t-shirt and his favorite pair of jeans to go and do the same thing he’s been doing for the last five months, check up on Karen. He walks out of his room and tries to avoid eye contact with Amy as much as he can.

“You were out pretty late last night, where were you?” Amy asks

“Nowhere of your concern, did you eat my leftovers?”

“No, I threw them out Frank, they were weeks old”

“What are you talking about, I got it like two days ago”

“Try two weeks, I’ve been making you food ever since then. You really don’t remember?”

“No, yeah, of course I do. I was just playing with you kid. Anyways I gotta get going now, I’ll talk to you later tonight.”

“Frank, wait-”

Before Amy can finish Frank has run out of the door.

Frank slams the door and tries to get out of the apartment as fast as he can without giving Amy the chance to follow him. He’s seen Amy try and catch him in his act a couple times and whenever that happens he changes up his route or tells her off and she reluctantly goes back home, but thankfully hasn’t figured out what he's been doing.

He starts to walk to Karen’s house because by now she’s either doing two things: she’s on her way back home for lunch or she’s finished lunch and is on her way back to the office, but today she’s not doing either of those things. Frank quickly panics but then decides to head over to ‘Nelson, Murdock & Page’ because maybe today she just finished up a little early, he did wake up later than usual. Frank walks up to the building and hurries inside, he looks in the window of the office and doesn’t see Karen there either. He almost walks in the office to demand where Karen is but instead he starts to break down and runs back out into the alley. After sitting by the trash can for what feels like forever, but is actually two minutes, Frank starts to walk back to Karen’s apartment. While on the way there he has a feeling that someone has also been watching him, following him for the last few blocks, so he decides to change his path and start walking to the diner that he and Karen would go to often.

“Hey darling, what would you like to get started with today?”

“A heaping cup of black coffee would be amazing and could you please make sure it’s as fresh as you got it” Frank asks with a toothy smile, trying not to show his panic.

“That seems to be a popular new way to order coffee around here, some girl who tipped amazing last night ordered it the exact same” the waitress then starts to walk away

“Hey, wait up, what did this girl look like?” Frank starts to take on a more serious tone now

“Umm she was blonde, blue eyes, and was in some professional get up. When she walked in she almost fainted and then ordered her black coffee the same way that you just did. Anyway love I’ve got to get going, we’re about to be rushed, I’ll get that coffee going for you.”

“Thank you sweetie.”

Frank now has two major things on his mind that he thought he wouldn’t have to worry about for at least a few more months, if he had kept up with taking it slow and careful. One being if Karen is okay and the second being if someone is following him. The waitress (which Frank now sees that her name tag says Sandy) brings him his coffee, cold, and he takes his time to finish the entire mug seeing if there was anyone suspicious walking outside of the diner. He goes to stand up and out of the corner of his eye he sees some very familiar curly dirty blonde hair and immediately recognizes that it’s Amy. He slides into her booth, ready to go off on her but he stops to see Amy grinning, almost laughing at Frank.

After Frank slammed the door Amy almost had enough. She’s sick and tired of him running out at dawn every morning and returning later and later every night and him not ever telling her where he goes. Every time she asked he always had a snarky comeback just telling her to mind her business and that he was a full grown adult and could do as he pleases. So this time she waited for her moment and sprinted out of the apartment trying to get as close to him as possible without letting him know she was there. Immediately she knew where he was heading, Karen’s apartment. Then he stopped, looking very confused and started to speed up, the only way she could keep up was by getting as close as possible but the entire time he didn’t think to stop to look around him once. He kept taking twists and turns but after a solid 25 minutes of weaving through buildings and alleyways they made it to… “Nelson, Murdock and Page? Why is he here” Amy whispered. Amy decided going in was a bad idea so she waited for Frank to come back out which didn’t take much time but after storming out he stopped in the alleyway and was crying.

Amy almost went up to Frank to try and talk to him, to console him, but she knew it would make him even more upset so she kept her distance. After two minutes he got back up and started to walk back in the direction of Karen’s apartment. A few blocks later she realized that Frank had changed paths and walked into the diner that he would take them occasionally. ‘Shit’ she thought, ‘there aren't many good hiding places in there’. After a few minutes when she saw Frank distracted she walked in and went into a booth a good distance away from him. While in the booth she couldn’t help but laugh, this entire time she had the feeling Frank never gave up on Karen but she always doubted herself but now she knew it for sure, Frank is definitely in love.

“Did you seriously think I wasn’t going to notice you following me?”

“It took you a lot longer than I honestly thought it would, I mean you didn’t even notice until these last few blocks and I wasn’t even sloppy then.”

“Once you’re done gloating about your accomplishments in stalking me you really need to go back to the apartment and fuck off.”

“No. I will not be doing that.”

“Amy-”

“No Frank, you can’t keep running off like this and think that I’ll just sit idly by. I’ve never done that, you know me better than that.”

“Amy, please, I know you know now that I go to check up on Karen and I’m not sure if she’s okay. I know you are and if you’re back at home then I don’t need to worry about you too.”

“Fine, I ‘ll go back if you promise one thing.”

“What?”

“Let me go with you later this week, I know you want to protect me but part of me feels like I have that same responsibility for you as well. Please let me go, just once.”

Frank intensely thinks about this for a few beats then breaths out, “Fine, just once this week. After that you drop this.”

“A deal is a deal then.” Amy says with a grin.

They shake hands and Amy heads back to the apartment while Frank stays back to make sure she is actually going back home, then he is on his way back to Karen’s apartment.

While walking back to Karen’s apartment Frank sees Karen walking out of her front door and quickly ducks out of sight, he notices that this is the first time that Karen has actually left her house since last night which is strange because she is always working, even on holidays and weekends. That makes him even more concerned but before he can start thinking about what to do Karen turns around.

Chapter Text

3.

‘No.’ Karen thought, ‘there’s absolutely no way, he’s supposed to be gone. That’s what he promised, that he’d be gone.’ Karen swore she saw Frank for a split second after leaving her apartment but everything happened so fast and she couldn’t get a good look. Before she could start walking towards what she thought was Frank, he was gone and there was no use in chasing a shadow. Karen had given up on taking her walk and instead went back up to her apartment and went to lay in her bed, safe and quiet from anything happening outside of her bedroom. After a quick power nap, which ended in a nightmare, she couldn’t stop thinking of Frank. She pulled out her computer and did something she knew she would regret, reach out to Mitchell Ellison.

Frank had severely messed up, he had been doing this for months, four months and six days to be exact, and nothing had gone wrong. If Karen hadn’t stayed out extra late last night at the diner and left work just a little earlier then he wouldn’t have overslept and left in such a rush to where Amy would follow him and subsequently make him run into Karen. If he had just let her go all that time ago like he said he would, she would be okay and so would he. He could have started over and sneak back into the shadows like he wanted, but he couldn’t let go of Karen, he had to make sure that she was okay. If he knew just that little, then he would be able to sleep a full night of sleep, but now he knows for sure that Karen won’t ever let this go and he wouldn’t be sleeping for a long time.

Frank sneaks back into the alleyways and after taking the most strenuous path back home he finally reaches the apartment, he sneaks in trying not to alert Amy that he’s home so that he can go into his room and try to figure this out on his own but like always Amy is there standing in the doorway.

“Soooo did you find out anything about your girlfriend, is she okay?”

“Not my girlfriend and I just need some alone time right now.”

Amy’s smile quickly fades.

“Oh, okay, but when do you think I could come with you one of these-”

“Amy we can talk about this later, please just drop it.”

Frank weaves away from Amy and slams his door shut. Amy, defeated, decides not to go after him but instead starts making coffee for Frank because she knows he’s about to have a very long night trying to fix whatever happened when she left the diner.

After Frank slams the door, he swiftly scoops up the spare laptop Amy gifted him for his birthday and sends out an email to none other than Mitchell Ellison. After he was let go in the hospital, he quickly paid a visit for Mitchell and demanded that if Karen were to ever ask about him to say he was away and gone, that he promises to never come back, and if she keeps pushing just to keep denying. And so far it’s worked, Mitchell says she never asks anymore and if she’s does, she never puts up a fight. So before she can get a word to Mitchell, Frank sends Mitchell a single sentence.

“Mitchell, Karen saw me, do not say a single word or I will meet you once again in person.”

He knew he wouldn’t say anything anyways but if Mitchell was intimidated then he would for sure keep quiet. Frank closed the laptop and fell backwards onto his bed and immediately fell asleep, he didn’t realize how tired he was until he woke up a few hours later confused. He decided he needed to shower and when he opened his door, he saw a coffee mug on the floor with a note saying ‘Sorry I pushed you, if you want help you know where to find me. I’ll be back after work. Love you, Amy.” Frank cleaned up the coffee and folded the note to put in his pocket and stepped into the shower.

“I need to fix this,” Frank whispered to himself.

“Mitchell I know you have denied this for months but you can’t any longer. I saw Frank. In the flesh. I wasn’t hallucinating and my eyes aren't deceiving me like you love to say, he’s still here and I’m betting you know where he’s staying. Please, just tell me, I need to know. P.S. I’m not dropping this quickly so it’s better to tell me now instead of dragging it on. Karen.”

Karen had to think of something fast and make it sound somewhat threatening, she knew Mitchell knew something because every time she brought up Frank, he would get antsy but would go on saying he didn’t know a single thing which usually meant he did. Mitchell didn’t email her back, or answer any of her texts, or reply to any of the voicemails she left. So, she makes the decision of showing up to the office on Monday morning with all of her questions ready and enough stamina to not back down. After planning out everything she is going to say to Mitchell she lays down and starts to cry, after not knowing where Frank has been for these last few months have been possibly even harder for her than knowing and she thinks she is so close to getting him back when she hears her computer and that familiar ding, signaling that she has a new message.

Frank steps out of the shower, makes a bowl of cereal (even though it’s the middle of the night), and after finishing puts the bowl in the sink. He steps back into his room feeling a little less stressed after scrubbing himself clean of the day and opens up his laptop once more. He brings up his email and sees a new message from Mitchell that reads, “I can’t help you anymore.” Frank chuckles and closes his laptop; he's too worn out for the day to care to respond and hears the door open. ‘Amy isn’t supposed to be home for a few more hours taking these later shifts’ he thinks to himself. He steps out of his room to find Mitchell very disheveled and panicked, Frank takes a step towards him and as soon as he does, Mitchell falls to the ground.

A few minutes later Mitchell finally wakes up and apologizes to Frank, which Frank disregards knowing there is no need to apologize.

“Why are you at my house Mitchell?”

“It was either here or Karen’s and she seems a bit more pissed off at me than you are.”

“What do you mean by that, why would Karen be pissed at you?”

“Well you both had emailed me at the same time and I replied back to her before you, which I now know was the wrong thing to do, and she said she was coming to my house or I would have to go over to hers. So, I decided my best option was to email her saying I choose neither and I ran here as soon as it was sent.”

“You couldn’t think of anything smarter than, I don’t know, possibly leading her here! Did you not think, for a second, in that little mind of yours, that she could have seen you running here? Because you’ve basically admitted to knowing where I am !”

“I didn’t admit anything Frank, you know that. I just didn’t know what to say and I couldn’t face her because I know that I would’ve actually admitted to something, you smart ass.”

“Well you can’t stay here. Go home Mitchell, and I’m beat as all hell.”

“I can’t Frank. She isn’t going to go home until she at least knows that I’m not going back there and that’s not gonna be for at least another hour or two. I’ll stay out of your way, just, please.”

“This isn’t even my place so I can’t say yes to that.”

“Oh, shit, I forgot. Well, where is Amy?”

“Work, she’s doing later shifts now so we come home around the same time and she can take care of me during the day, which is fucking crazy if you ask me.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say that, you aren’t the sanest person in the world-”

“I’m sorry, did you want to stay here or not, because if you did, I’d suggest you shutting up right about now.”

“I’m just gonna sit on your couch, how about that?”

“I’m starting to not give a shit, just don’t touch the cookie crisps.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

Frank goes into his room but doesn’t close his door because he doesn’t trust Mitchell quite enough.

Karen jumps up out of bed after receiving Mitchell's email of him saying neither to her proposal of them meeting up at one of their places. She doesn’t bother changing out of her pajamas, she swiftly puts on her running shoes and heads over to Mitchells. She quickly runs out of breath because she doesn’t run very often and while she’s catching her breath, she starts to feel a memory of her and Frank coming and collapses on the sidewalk.

“What are we doing here Frank?” Karen tries to sound as serious as possible but it comes out warmer than anticipated.

“You’ve brought up us moving in together here and there and I know you don’t want to be that far away from everyone so I thought this would be perfect.”

It was perfect because where Frank had found was only a few blocks from both the law office and Mitchell’s house where she frequently went over to have dinner with him and his wife.

“Frank, you can’t be serious about this? You said you weren’t ready.”

“Yeah, well I changed my mind, and I realized that you and I might not have this for much longer.”

“What are you talking about Frank, come on don’t say that.”

“I’ve told you this before, people like me don’t get happy endings and if we have this maybe that might change.”

“It’s already changed Frank, you’ve changed. This IS our happy ending.”

They smile at each other for a second and share a kiss, trying to linger in the moment Karen goes back in and stays there before Frank pulls back.

“Should we go and check out the place, love?”

“Only if you’re ready.”

“You know I am if I have you by my side.”

Frank takes her hand and they walk into the apartment complex together, but before that she takes her phone out and snaps a selfie of the two of them together.

Karen stands back up, now sobbing, and decides that it’s already been a long day and she should probably just go back home and meet with Mitchell when she has a clear head, and her knowing Mitchell he’s probably run off somewhere. She makes it back to her apartment and changes into a new set of pajamas and lays down in her bed, she takes out the folded photo of her and Frank from the day at the apartment showing and falls asleep to her and Frank’s favorite song “North” by Sleeping at Last with the picture in her hands. That night she dreams of her and Frank at the apartment and what could have been if they had bought the place together.

Frank ultimately makes Mitchell leave his place and before he does, he says to Frank “You really should see her, she’s not in the best place right now,” Frank closes the door in Mitchell’s face before returning to his room. In his room he changes once again because he’s been sweating bullets these last few hours with Mitchell in his presence and flops onto his bed.

Frank rarely thinks back to the past, because if he does too often, he gets caught into a slump and doesn’t want to move for years. But tonight, is different, he lets the memories flow and he gets caught into every single one that he can think of. Right before he falls asleep, he remembers the day he found an apartment he wanted to show Karen, he had found it to let himself think he could have that with her for a while. He falls asleep and in doing so that’s all he dreams about, and while in his dream he thinks, ‘where is that photo’, which wakes him up, he goes through his camera roll and finds the photo Karen sent after she got back to her apartment and he falls back asleep while leaving the photo up on his phone.

Chapter Text

4.

Matt wakes up bright and early Monday morning, ready to head over to Karen’s to make sure she’s okay with coming in today. He’s been concerned recently over Karen and how she’s been doing because he rarely can get a hold of her to talk about what they’ve been going through; he knows that a part of it is his fault for not being there for such a long time but he’s been trying these last few weeks. Part of the reason he’s been trying so hard is because Foggy gave them an ultimatum but no matter what he wants to try to be better, which is better than nothing.

Matt gets out of bed and grabs his phone and at the same time Foggy calls him, which causes Matt to drop his phone. He finally grabs a hold of it and answers,

“Hello?”

“Dude, did you see the text that Karen sent us in the middle of the night?”

“For starters, I can’t see, and no I haven’t. I just woke up Foggy, what does it-”

“She saw Frank, in the flesh! Or at least that’s what she’s saying. I’ve tried getting a hold of her but she’s not responding and I thought she would be up by now because she’s supposed to be in today and-”

“Foggy, please take a breath. I was about to head over to hers anyways and I’ll try to get more out of her.”

“Not without me, you’re not.”

“Foggy, no.”

“Oh, Foggy, yes. I need to know everything and if it’s actually true.”

“Fine, I’ll meet you there in twenty, and Foggy, don’t push her.”

“I know, Matt, I won’t. I’ll see you soon.”

Matt gets out of bed, puts on his suit, makes a quick microwaveable breakfast, and heads out almost forgetting his cane. He hears Foggy coming up behind him and while they’re walking there Foggy reads out every text that Karen had sent both of them throughout the night. Before they can reach Karen’s apartment Foggy sees Karen leaving and Matt can hear her walking down the stairs of her apartment before Foggy could have even known she was awake.

Karen glances to her right, which is the way she has to go to get to the office, and sees Foggy and Matt standing there, gawking at her. Before they can say anything, she goes in the middle of them and grabs both of their arms.

“Do not say a thing. I don’t know if he’s here or not.”

Foggy and Karen share a glance and Matt smirks, he would know if Frank was here, right?

When the three of them get back to the office Karen rushes to the side room and ushers them in, she then closes and locks the door. She then stands there for a second and grabs both of their phones and tosses all three outside of the room. They sit in silence for a while before Foggy starts going off,

“You need to explain right now, you say you’ve seen Frank but you never said how or when and then if you guys even talked, and what do you mean you don’t know if he was there or not?! What does that mean? I mean how do you even know it was actually him?”

“Foggy please calm down and let me answer one question at a time,” Karen pleads.

“Can you even forgive him after what he did to you, Karen?” Matt finally butts in.

A month before Karen left Frank for good, he did the one unforgivable thing that he promised he wouldn’t do to Karen, he lied. He lied about where he was going for weeks, he was plotting and was planning to hurt someone. He then hurt someone, more than hurt, killed someone. After he did that avoided Karen, but she always had a feeling deep inside her, and for months she was watching Frank, his every move, and saw something was conflicting him. She tried to bring it up multiple times and eventually they would get in a screaming match, in which she would never get any answers because it always ended up with one of them apologizing and getting lost in each other’s kisses. Afterwards they would climb into bed and hold each other tight knowing that they are on borrowed time, but in those moments, they wouldn’t care, looking so deeply into each other’s eyes it felt like they had forever and that they were infinite.

The night of their breakup Karen was making her and Frank dinner for their one-year anniversary. Frank walked in the door and instead of greeting her and giving her their usual kiss, he just walked past her into their room they were sharing.

“Frank? You’re home early, I thought you said you’d be back by 7!” She yelled over in Frank’s direction.

“Yeah, I finished early with my thing, just wanted to come see my love a bit early,” Frank was almost whispering.

Karen puts down the spatula to walk into her and Frank’s room to see Frank packing.

“Frank, no, what are you doing?”

“Karen, I’m sorry.” He hesitates, thinking if he wants to explain further, but then stops and continues packing.

“Sorry for what?” Karen chuckles, Frank doesn’t look at her once.

“Sorry for what?!” Karen repeats, raising her voice.

“I can’t talk to you about this, I just can’t.” Frank looks at her, only for a second then continues.

“Frank, please, we can work this out. Is it something I did or-”

“Of course, not Karen.” He slumps over in defeat and Karen goes to reach for his shoulder to try and console him but he pulls away.

“What did you do?” Karen gasps

“Karen, don’t.”

“I knew you’ve been sneaking around; you’ve been keeping secrets. Are you cheating on me?!”

“God, Karen, absolutely not. I would never, ever do that to you... What I did was worse.”

“What could you possibly have done that’s worse. There’s nothing worse than-” Karen stops because it hits her. Frank sneaking around, keeping secrets, him texting random numbers, waking up in chills every night. He hurt someone.

Frank sees the realization over Karen’s face and stands up, “Karen you have to listen to me-”

“No, you listen to me. Jesus, Frank, you said you stopped, you got everyone you needed to take out! Now what, you randomly remembered another target!”

“If I didn’t do something he was gonna hurt you, I can’t, I won’t lose you Karen.”

“You already have.” Karen walks out of the room and Frank follows quickly behind her.

“No don’t you dare say that.”

Karen whips around, “Well, haven’t you? You were packing while I was in the middle of making our anniversary dinner!”

“Shit,” Frank mumbles, “I forgot.”

“Of course, you did. Who was it, who did you kill?”

“I’m not telling you that babe.”

Karen scoffs, “What if there’s others, is this ever going to truly stop?” Karen has stopped yelling and her voice starts to shake.

“That’s why I was leaving, I may have started something that I can’t stop and I don’t need them knowing where you are.”

Karen falls to the couch without saying a word, a few minutes later she says without any ounce of power, “I love you and I will never stop loving you and that is and was enough for me. I would have given up everything, everything, just to be able to keep loving you. Why can’t that be enough for you? You say you do this to protect me, but that’s not what you’re doing, you like this and that’s who you are and I shouldn’t have ever thought you could have changed.”

“I’m not going to completely change everything about myself because you think I can be better but if it means anything to you, I did change, I was able to love again. I love you Karen. I love you more than you could even begin to think. All I’ve wanted to do since I met you was protect you, and that’s what I did. And to keep protecting you I need to go; this isn’t the end for us Karen.”

“Yes, it is Frank. We were over the second that you started planning anything.”

“You don’t really mean that.”

“I do. You promised Frank, and you lost my trust and I don’t think you can gain it again this time. Go back to Amy’s and please don’t try to fix this, it’s broken for good, not enough apologies would patch this up again.”

“Karen, please. I love you.”

“I love you too but that’s not enough apparently. Goodbye Frank.”

Frank finished packing everything up of his but leaves Karen her favorite shirt and pair of sweatpants of his before leaving the room. He goes to kiss Karen on the cheek which she allows and lingers by the door before saying, “You have everything. So hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go. You got it?” He then leaves without looking back.

Karen doesn’t believe she has everything anymore because she thought Frank was her everything and now, she has nothing. She tried to stay as composed as possible while he was packing up and as soon as he closed the door she broke down. She didn’t move from the living room for three days besides to use the bathroom and to eat whatever frozen meals she had leftover in her fridge. On the fourth day Matt busted into her apartment, her phone had died and she never recharged it, when Matt entered the apartment, he could sense it was emptier and Franker was gone. Karen saw Matt and broke down in his arms while she told him everything that happened that night. He helped her clean up what he could before having to call Foggy in, Matt already told him everything so Karen didn’t have to relive it once more. They didn’t leave each other’s side for almost a week.

Frank had gone back to Amy’s and thankfully she wasn’t home, she was still taking the early shifts then. When she got back home, she saw Frank on the couch crying and stayed with him until he calmed down.

“She found out, didn’t she?”

“Of course she did.”

A week after that they were side by side trying to take on at least a group of ten who were trying to avenge their leader’s death, who was at the hands of Frank. Frank got Amy out of the way before getting shot twice in the abdomen, he then started to take random shots and injured a few which made the rest scurry away. Amy begged him to go to a hospital which he reluctantly went to. While there, Amy called Karen telling her what happened and where they were.

Karen rushed into the room she was told by Amy and saw Frank sleeping, “How is he?” She whispered.

Amy replied, “He’s been better but is pretty beat up.”

Frank had started to wake up and saw Karen, “There’s my pretty girl.”

“You look horrible,” Karen laughed.

“What are you talking about, I think this is the best I’ve ever looked.”

“I’ll step out and give you guys a second,” Amy goes out into the hallway.

“Matt know you’re here?”

“What does that matter right now Frank?”

“You know what it matters.”

“Stop that, you know that’s in the past.”

“I know, I just like teasing you about it.”

“You’re such an idiot. By the way I told you this would happen.” Karen gestures over to his wounds.

“I’d do it again if it means that I protected you. I told you I’d do anything for you.”

“When does everything become too much, Frank?”

“When I die.” Frank finally makes eye contact with Karen.

“No, you’re not allowed, at least not now. My life shouldn’t mean more than your own.”

Frank stands up, “You know it does though, and that’s never going to change Karen.”

“Frank you really should sit down.”

Frank grabs Karen waist and pulls her in, “I don’t want to lose you Karen.”

Karen leans in and kisses Frank as softly as she can, “We’re not good for each other, we never were and we never will be. You’ll continue on with this and almost lose your life many more times and I won’t sit by and watch you die, you’re on a suicide mission that I never signed up for,” She leans in for one last kiss and they stop to look in each other’s eyes once more to find that infinity they once felt, but it was lost, trying to grasp at anything in it’s path. "Good luck Frank."

Amy walked in and quickly apologized, as she was about to walk back out Karen grabbed her things and left without saying goodbye, hoping deep down that it wasn’t the last time she would see Frank.

Karen stops to think about the severity and weight of that question, and the answer is that she doesn’t know.

“Don’t ask me that Matt. Just both of you listen to me, I saw Frank last night and I know that Mitchell knows he’s here too, after he's been telling me he’s moved out of state for months. That also means that Amy knows he’s here too and he’s probably staying with her. The thing is, I’ve went to check up on Amy multiple times and she moved out of her old apartment, so Matt, I need you to find out where they’re staying.”

“No.” Matt says and walks out of the room.

“He’s got the right idea. You should just give up on this, if he wanted to be found he would have come out of the shadows. Come on, let’s go do our job.”

Foggy walks out of the room and reached out for Karen to take his hand, she does. She goes through the day trying to fight either crying or yelling at them for giving up so easily. At the end of the day, they follow her home all the while Matt is listening to see if he hears Frank, and they stay the night at her place to make sure she doesn’t go out looking for Frank.

Chapter Text

5.

Frank wakes up, puffy eyed, and notices that his phone is dead. He puts his phone on the charger and throws it off of the bed hoping to forget last night, and every other night just for good measure. He walks into the kitchen and sees Amy sitting on the couch watching Love Island, then proceeds to make himself another bowl of cereal.

“Come on kid, let’s go do this thing.”

“Wait really? I thought you were kinda going through something.”

“Aren’t I always? Get dressed, let’s go.”

Amy and Frank walk out of the apartment and Amy follows Frank’s lead going through every shortcut and alleyway he weaves around, but he doesn’t head to Karen’s instead he decides to go back to that same diner that he found Amy in.

“What are we doing here?” Amy questions

“I’m having an off day; I rarely have those anymore.”

“What are you talking about, you said we could do this?”

“Thought I’d lie, I like to know that I can still successfully do that.”

“Whatever, I’m still not going to drop this though.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go get some real breakfast.”

They take their time together at the diner while Amy questions Frank about these last few months and judges him on why he’s never just went back to Karen, he gives vague answers but she knows the real reasoning. He’s afraid of getting rejected. They finish up and spend the day showing each other their favorite spots around the city and return home so that Amy can get going to work. Frank calls it a day and decides to sleep a bit early and wake up refreshed the next day.

When Frank wakes up he emails Mitchell once more, “Tell Karen I want to see her.” Almost immediately he gets a response “Done.” He wonders what that means, did he just email Karen, ‘oh yeah sorry for lying to you for so long but Frank actually is still in Hell’s Kitchen and moved into that one apartment you two saw together haha.’ He tries not to think too much into it and waits for Mitchell to come running over here with that same flushed face of his but it takes much longer than he expected. A few hours later Mitchell comes knocking on his door and explains the entire plan.

Karen wakes up with Matt and Foggy by her side and feels like she could stay like this forever, which she immediately regrets ever thinking that because when she opens her mail app, she sees the one thing she never imagined, ‘Frank wants to see you.’ She texts back. ‘Come over. Now.’ 20 minutes later Mitchell is at her door and the three of them, Karen, Foggy, and Matt, are on her couch listening very intensely to every word that Mitchell says, after he’s done explaining the plan, they all have questions.

“So, wait Frank has been in Hell’s Kitchen this entire time and not even Matt knew?” Foggy is the first to say.

“How did I not hear him?” Frank follows with.

“He got the apartment?” Karen finally says looking at the ground before standing up, “How long have you known Ellison?”

“Since the day you guys’ broke things off, he made me promise that I wouldn’t say thing, and that he was moving to a place that you both had looked at before. He said that if you were to ask a single thing to just deny and drop it, you don’t know how many times I wanted to say 'screw it!' and spill everything but I know how he works and he would not hesitate to hurt those around me, or even just me. I don’t know how you couldn’t hear him Matt, he just probably didn’t want you to, so you never did, and it seemed like all he wanted to do was make sure Karen was okay. We talk occasionally and he’s been keeping out of trouble.”

After a long break of silence, Matt left Karen’s apartment first, making quick goodbyes trying not to get upset at Karen or at least show his disappointment, Foggy tries to talk Karen out of it as calmly as he can muster up but Karen is stuck in her head and asks everyone to leave so she can have space to think.

The plan was for them to meet in two days’ time at a location where no one could track Frank or Karen to, being that they had no connection to the building. Mitchell would text both of them the address at the same time, 20 minutes before they were expected to meet and Matt would be there before them in case of anything going wrong. They couldn’t stay there for too long in case of someone seeing them, which is unlikely but Frank has enemies practically everywhere.

Karen stands up from the couch and starts pacing, wondering what she’s going to say to Frank, would she be mad and yell or break down and reach for him wanting his comfort? These last few months she truly believed that he had moved away and kept another promise that was bound to be broken, she was far from happy but she knew that she really couldn’t do anything about it. She's been having these flashbacks for months because she thought she would never see Frank again and never create any new memories to look back on. Now everything has changed once more and she has no clue where her feeling lies for Frank. Of course, she still loves him but she isn’t sure if she is still in love with him, she doesn’t know whether she hates him or not. What she does know is that he has been watching her for months, to ‘make sure she’s safe’ but why not come back at some point? Why try so hard to be in the shadows and away from a person and not actually move on?

After pacing around for a few minutes, she realizes she hasn’t eaten anything this morning and even though Matt and Foggy hadn’t said anything about work, she should probably still go and try to distract herself for as long as she can because this meeting is in two days and she can’t sit with her thoughts for too long. She grabs a muffin to go that she found in her fridge and quickly puts on a pair of slacks with a white button down and blazer and heads to work. After walking down the stairs she stops by the entrance of her building just to do a quick check, looking for Frank. Even though she hasn’t seen him for this long and probably won’t today, it’s still worth a try.

Mitchell leaves after explaining the plan and Frank is more anxious than he previously thought he would be after sending the email. Frank usually doesn’t do things in the moment, he’s more of a person to take weeks planning something out and making sure everything is absolutely perfect in his plan, but he’s tired of doing this cat and mouse thing with Karen. He’s been doing it on his own for months and it’s already been tiring but now that Karen is aware of him, it’s absolutely draining.

After Karen left the hospital and before Frank had marched over to Ellison’s he did contemplate leaving the state for the time being, to give Karen space and maybe coming back in a few years trying something with her again, if she hadn’t have found someone else by then. But then he thought about Amy and he didn’t want to leave her and no matter what, even with all the logical thinking in the world, he couldn’t grasp the fact of actually leaving Karen. So, he quickly thought up the plan of scaring Mitchell and went with that (see why he doesn't do in the moment plans?). He got the apartment and put it in a fake name so it looked like they had both left and he started to learn Karen’s every move, just to know that without him she could still be safe.

He never really thought that Karen would find out and he was very careful in making sure he was untraceable when Matt was around. Part of him, though, was almost excited in knowing that Karen found out. It gave them a reason to meet again, for her to talk to him again even if that meant she just yelled at him the entire time. It gave him a reason to think that him and Karen could be something again, and it might take a long time but there was still the smallest possibility.

Even with all of the excitement Frank believes he feels, he is still very anxious and has no clue what could go down in two days. There are more than two possibilities, there are hundreds, even more with all of the ones he couldn’t conjure up in his mind. Frank hates the unknown, everything he does has meaning and he knows how things are usually going to end. With this he’s at a loss, he wasn’t even the one to make the plan. After freaking out for a while he decides he needs to go out and see Karen at least one more time before they have to be face to face, he walks over to her apartment and sees her in all of her beauty. Usually, she just walks out of her apartment with no looking back but today she tries to find him, thankfully Frank accounted for that and made sure to not be seen but for a split second he almost moves out of the shadow just so she could see him.

Frank decides to stay home and out of the way for the rest of his waiting period and lashes out every single one of his emotions at Amy which she brushes off because she believes that everything is her fault, she was the one to tell Frank to never stop giving up on Karen. The morning before they're supposed to meet, he wakes up extra early and tries to look his best, which isn’t that far off from his everyday look but at least he feels different, for him it feels like his world is finally going to start spinning again.

Karen two days ago, had been glued at Matt and Foggy’s side, who have been extra cautious around her, making sure they don’t say something wrong, and she had been trying to bury herself in cases. The day before they’re supposed to meet, she takes the day off running errands and trying to get in the headspace where she’s most comfortable. The morning of their meet day she wakes up earlier than usual and puts on Frank’s favorite outfit of hers, a leather jacket and a pair of ripped jeans. He bought them for her on their six-month anniversary to which she exclaimed ‘I could never wear this!’ and he replied ‘What are you talking about? You’d look bad-ass.’

Mitchell sends the address to the both of them.