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Party Poison was so gay.
They had known as much for years now, but never really thought about it until now. Okay, fine, that was a lie, they'd been thinking about it pretty much every day. Really, it wasn't even their own fault; if Fun Ghoul didn't look, well, like that all the time, then maybe Party wouldn't feel like this.
They knew this assessment of the situation was complete and utter bullshit, but they kept trying to convince themself that it was true, 'cause how else could they get over the crush they'd had for the past 5 years?
Poison remembered it like it was yesterday. They had been 12 years old at the time, fresh out of Bat City with their younger brother Kobra and with no one on their side other than themselves. That is, until Ghoul showed up. Poison had taken one look at the boy and instantly fallen for him, despite not knowing at the time what the word "gay" meant. Not that BLI exactly banned talking about it, but it wasn't the kinda thing you went around talking about on the streets of the city. At least, if you were your average citizen. Regardless, Party and their brother weren't exposed to that area of the city while they still lived there, and thus were unaware of the language used commonly by those people.
Here they were, 17 years old and still, Ghoul had no idea, as far as Party was concerned, about their feelings. Party just wished that--
"Hello? Earth to Party Poison?"
Party looked up to see none other than Ghoul staring back at them. When did he get here?
"Sorry, must've zoned out for a moment there. What's up?" they asked.
"Uh, dude, we were talkin' about how we need to go on that supply run? For Dr. D? He asked us to, like, 3 days ago," Jet reminded them.
"Oh, yeah. Right. The supply run," they replied, obviously distracted. "I'll, uh, get right on that."
At this, Kobra gave Jet a worried look. Sure, Party had been out of it before, but he hadn't seen his sibling this unfocused in ages. He just hoped they'd be back to normal before they came across any Dracs.
Just focus, Poison, they thought to themself in the back room of the diner as they suited up. It's not doin' anyone any favors for you to be starin' at Ghoul all the damn time, it's just makin' you a pretty useless leader. They knew that getting distracted at the wrong time was the difference between living to see another day and meeting the Phoenix Witch, and they'd be damned if they were the reason their best friends got dusted.
Also, there was the minor issue of Jet and Kobra noticing something was up. Unbeknownst to them, Party had seen the look they'd exchanged, could hear the tone of voice that seemed to scream I know something's wrong, and I will stop at nothing to find out what it is. They were gonna have to be more conscious of where their thoughts wandered to, because if Jet-Star and the Kobra Kid noticed by now, then it was pretty much guaranteed that Ghoul had, too. He always had been very perceptive about Party.
Luckily for Party (or perhaps unluckily, depending on your perspective), they weren't the one driving that day. Seeing how his sibling was acting, Kobra opted for the driver's seat before anyone else had a chance. Jet was the next Killjoy out the door and called shotgun, leaving Party and Ghoul alone in the backseat. They knew it couldn't have been intentional, leaving them right next to the boy they'd been in love with since the age of 12 and so close they almost couldn't stand it, but it still felt targeted somehow.
Instead of saying anything about it, though, they steeled themself and put on a brave face. No need to reveal anything, especially ‘cause Ghoul probably didn't think of them the same way. No, things were better off this way, feelings left unsaid, the boat left unrocked. This way meant that even if every day felt like a raygun shot to the heart, at least Party wouldn't lose one of their best friends.
As the desert landscape continued to pass by in a blur, Party Poison missed the longing expression on Fun Ghoul's face.
The operation, as usual, was a success. The Fab Four were greeted by Show Pony, who skated over to help bring the supplies inside.
When they were finished, they went to sit down in the blissfully cool main room of the building, waiting for Dr. Death Defying to finish up his broadcast. It felt like years before the recording room door opened, and much to the surprise of the Four, it wasn't only Dr. D who came out of the room. DJ Hot Chimp and NewsAGoGo waved brightly at them as they pushed the radio pirate's wheelchair.
"Didn't expect to see you guys here," Jet said, grinning.
"Let's see what ya got for us, first," replied Hot Chimp.
They all went through the supplies, sorting through based on type. The Power Pup, unsurprisingly, had the largest pile as it was the most readily available in the Zones. No one particularly liked having to eat dog food but as the saying goes, beggars can't be choosers.
Party kept finding themself distracted, which of course was only worsened by the monotony of organization. Since it didn't require any particularly large amount of thinking, it was all too easy to find your mind wandering. For Poison, that meant going back to their younger years.
Party and Kobra had just gotten out of Battery City, evading Dracs and the various surveillance droids that roamed the streets.
In the inner city, the bots usually only patrolled at night, but in the outskirts they were around virtually 24/7 in an attempt by BL/ind to deter future Killjoys from escaping to the Zones. After months of memorizing routes while traveling between home and school, or going to one of the BLI-approved shops to buy necessities, the siblings were ready. They had no reason to stay, after all. Everyone in the city that they had formed any connection with was either dead, or too brainwashed to notice their absence. Even their own parents were long gone; for the past few years it had been just Kobra and Poison against the world.
When the night came to put their escape plan into action, they collected as much as they could carry easily, then snuck out through the fire escape window in the apartment they had been living in, careful to avoid the security cameras overlooking the main streets. The last thing they needed was to give BLI an advanced warning.
As they were about to cross over one of the streets to position themselves closer to one of the city's exits, Poison threw their arm in front of their brother and retreated into the shadows within their current alleyway, and not a moment too soon. The pair held their breath as a pair of Dracs marched by, keeping their hands resting on the handles of their BLI-issued rayguns. One of them paused in front of the entrance, seeming to sense a presence, but their partner nudged them and they both continued on their way. Not eager to experience a repeat, the siblings hurried across the street without any further delays.
After several slow hours of dodging patrols and edging their way through crowded alleys, they finally made it to the gates. Just as they were about to leave, though, Party felt a tap on their shoulder. They whipped their head around and almost decked the person responsible until they recognized it was another kid, probably around their age if Party had to guess. The boy raised a finger to his lips and checked around the corner, then motioned for Party and their brother to follow as he ran across to the gate.
Not really having any other choice, they decided to follow him. When they were out of the city, the boy turned to face them.
"Hi, my name's Jet-Star, but you can call me Jet if you wanna. What're your names?"
Party wasn't completely convinced the boy was trustworthy, but they didn't have much choice either way. Also, there was just something about him that made it impossible to believe he was some agent for BLI.
"The name's Party Poison," they said after hesitating for a moment. After all, what was the harm? It's not like they told anyone other than their brother what their new name would be, so even if Jet was a spy, it's not like the name could be traced back to them. Now, Jet turned to their brother expectantly.
Kobra seemed somehow less trusting of this new companion than Party had been, but after a reassuring look from his sibling he answered simply with, "Kobra Kid."
This appeared to be enough for Jet-Star, who then signaled for the siblings to follow him.
"Have you ever been outside the city before?" Jet asked casually as they walked down what they would later come to know was called the Getaway Mile by the locals.
Party and Kobra shook their heads.
"Yeah, me neither. I have seen Killjoys sneak into the city for supplies before, though. Once, one of 'em even talked to me! That's how I found out about this place, they told me all about the safehouses set up for runaways. They've got supplies stocked, so you know you'll be okay if you can make it to one of 'em."
Soon enough, they were there. Party was skeptical of the dilapidated-looking shack at first, it looked like the roof could cave in at any moment. They decided to follow Jet inside, though, and came face-to-face with another boy, who looked just as surprised to see them as they were.
After recovering from the shock, Party Poison noted that the boy looked really cool. They couldn't put a finger on why, but all they knew for certain was that they really wanted to get to know him better.
"Um, I'm sorry. I didn't realize someone already lived here," said the boy cautiously.
Jet shrugged it off. "Nah, we don't live here, it's a safehouse. Anyone can come and stay," he explained. "My name's Jet."
This seemed to calm the newest boy's nerves. "Oh, my name is, uh," he started. It was clear that he was struggling with whether to tell them his real name. Or maybe it was a lack of a chosen name that was making him hesitate, Party couldn't be certain. "My name's Fun Ghoul."
Damn, Party thought to themself, even his name is super cool! They had no idea what they were getting into when they asked Ghoul and Jet to be in their group.
They hadn't realized it, but they were once again staring off into space at Ghoul. Hot Chimp and Newsie, however, did notice.
After the sorting was done, Dr. D and Show Pony went into the kitchen to prepare dinner, because "what kind of hosts would we be if we sent you home hungry?" Chimp and Newsie took this opportunity to pull Party to the side.
"So. Have you told him yet?" Newsie asked.
"Told who what?" said Party. There was no way the two of them knew about their crush, right?
"Oh come on Newsie, did ya see the way they were lookin' at him? My guess is that they're too scared to admit their feelings."
"You guys got it all wrong, Ghoul an' I are just friends," they protested.
"Hah! I knew it! You do realize I never said anything about Ghoul, right? So you do like him!"
Well, shit. It looked like there was no use trying to hide it from those two anymore. Had they really been that obvious? "Look, just please don't tell him! I don't wanna lose him."
Hot Chimp sighed. "I'm gonna give ya a word of advice. The longer you wait to tell someone something like this, the more it'll hurt when you see them with someone else. You don't wanna lose him? Then go tell him before someone else can get him to fall for them."
"What's the point, anyways? I mean, l fell for him five years ago, wouldn't I have noticed if he felt the same?" Party looked down at their shoes.
"You mean to tell me," began Newsie, "that you haven't noticed the way he looks at you? Destroya, no wonder ya haven't made a move yet!"
Poison looked at her blankly.
"Okay, fine. You don't have to believe us. But please, promise me you'll at least consider that I'm right, alright?" Hot Chimp told them gently, leaving them alone with their thoughts.
They were still convinced that if Ghoul really did like them, then he would've said something about it sooner. It's not like he was known for being quiet about what he thought, certainly not around the others. Still, if Chimp and Newsie said they had seen something, maybe it had some truth to it. They weren't the type of people to lie about that kind of thing.
Destroya, it was hard for Party not to get their hopes up. Years of living in the Zones had taught them that disappointment was an inevitable part of life, but they still wanted to believe that it couldn't possibly be all bad.
Suddenly, they were pulled back to the present moment by Dr. D’s booming voice calling out that dinner was ready.
It was just Poison’s luck that they would get the seat right next to Ghoul and across from Chimp and Newsie. The table wasn't designed for 8 people, so they found themself uncomfortably close to Ghoul, too. All Party could hope for now was that Ghoul didn't pick up on their nervous energy, because the last thing they needed was Ghoul asking why they were so tense.
Dinner went off smoothly, however, if you didn't think about how much Hot Chimp and Newsie were giving Party knowing looks that were virtually guaranteed to be noticed by everyone in the room. The drive home was also uneventful, and Party had the added bonus of sitting next to Kobra on the way.
However, they should've known they wouldn't get off the hook so easily; it hadn't been exactly subtle when Chimp and Newsie had dragged them away to talk, and so obviously Kobra and Jet decided to ask Party what was going on.
"Guys, it's nothing. I'm fine, really," said Poison unconvincingly. At a raised eyebrow from Kobra, they continued. "I've just, uh, got some stuff to figure out." This wasn't a complete lie, exactly, because they did need to figure out how, and if, they should tell Ghoul about their feelings. They just happened to leave that last part out.
"What aren't you tellin' us?" Kobra asked. "I'm your brother, you know. You can't fool me that easily. You know you can come to me with anything."
They couldn't lie to him like this, if they were completely honest with themself. "Okay, fine. But please, don't tell anyone about it. I...I have a crush."
"Really? That's great news, Party! So, who's the lucky person? Oh, I bet I know them!" Jet sounded genuinely excited.
"Well, I'm not really sure he even likes me back," said Party slowly.
"Oh, that's bullshit! I'm sure they d-- Wait, he? There is no way you have a crush on Cherri, right? Phoenix Witch, please don't tell me ya have a crush on fuckin' Cherri Cola of all people! He's, like, a hundred!"
"Uh, Jet, do you know what a hundred-year-old even looks like? Actually, you know what? Nevermind that. No, I don't have a crush on Cherri," replied Party.
"Dr. D?"
"No!" They realized too late that using "he" meant a limited number of people that they could be referring to, and now that short list was pretty much exhausted.
"Holy shit, you like Ghoul!"
"Okay, yeah, I do. But please don't tell him!"
Kobra and Jet looked at each other and grinned. "Only if you tell him first!"
Party groaned. Why did they always have to pull shit like this? "Ugh. Fine. I'll do it, okay?"
Destroya, this is fuckin' terrifying, Party thought to themself a week later as they prepared to Ghoul to talk in private. Despite all the work they had put in to prepare, they still weren't ready. Honestly, how the hell were you even supposed to prepare to tell your best friend that you'd been in love with them for the past five years?
Party took a deep breath to calm themself and turned to Ghoul, who was sitting next to them and eating the usual Power Pup for breakfast. "Can I talk to you? Alone?" They did their best to ignore Jet and Kobra grinning at each other as they got up from the booth.
The pair of them went to the back room of the diner so they wouldn't be overheard. This, at least, helped to soothe Party’s nerves slightly.
Ghoul looked at them expectantly.
"Well, um. You see, I," they began, stumbling over their words. On a whim, they decided to ignore everything they had been practicing in the mirror for the past several days. "Look, this probably will come as a surprise, and I understand if ya don't feel the s ame way, but Ghoul, I like you. I've liked you since we first met, even if I didn't realize it was a crush back then. And Destroya knows, I've waited so long for this moment to tell you, but I've just been so scared of losing you, or that you didn't feel the same way. I've realized that l can't just sit here and not take a chance, because what if someone else came along? I wouldn't be able to handle knowing that person could've been me if I simply had the guts to tell ya, and I--"
Before they could finish, they were cut off by Ghoul’s lips on theirs, passionate yet gentle. Party leaned into the kiss after getting over the initial shock and pulled him closer, loving every second of it.
"Party," Ghoul said, pulling away briefly, “how could I not like you back? I've been tryin' to drop hints, but you never noticed, so l thought you just didn't like me. Gods, I've never been happier than I am right now." With that, he kissed Party again, and again, making up for all that time when feelings had gone unspoken.