Work Text:
Sleeping never came easy to Kenma, but it got a little better when he graduated high school. Despite his tolerance (okay, he liked it a little more than that) of volleyball, he was never a fan of early morning practices, and constantly waking up early and staying up late left him thoroughly exhausted for most of his school days.
When he got to college and didn’t have to start any of his classes until 10 a.m. at the earliest, he found that he finally felt a semblance of what it must be like to be “well-rested.” Kenma eventually learned (with the help of a therapist) that he had Delayed Phase Sleep Disorder (DSPD), which basically just meant his body’s natural circadian rhythm was later than that of the average person. Instead of getting tired around 10-11 p.m. and naturally waking up at 7-8 a.m., Kenma’s natural sleep timing was more like 3-11 a.m.
After this discovery, he spent about a week feeling slightly angry at the world for having forced him to conform to an early morning schedule and making him feel like he was just lazy or screwed up for never getting enough sleep (Kuroo got an earful several times during this week for always waking Kenma up early and scheduling early practices when he was the team captain at Nekoma).
And how could anyone blame him? He’d spent most of his life struggling to stay awake through each day and suffering the pain of ripping himself out of bed on only a few hours’ sleep. How many times had he cried frustrated tears in the early hours of the morning, unable to fall asleep even when he was bone-tired and had to be awake in just a few hours more? The rest of the world slumbered soundly, and Kenma was left to stare into darkness and desperately wish his brain would just let him rest. Was it any wonder he finally stopped fighting to fall asleep and resigned himself to playing games all night?
But after a lifetime of accepting that he’d always suffer from incurable insomnia, Kenma grew to feel relieved that he had an answer for his struggles with sleep and could finally build his own schedule to alleviate some of his problems with it. A big part of why he wanted to create his own company was so he wouldn’t have to try to explain to any future employers why he couldn’t work on the same schedule as the rest of the working world. If he were his own boss, he’d have no problem. And so, Bouncing Ball Co. never had any meetings or conference calls before noon (apart from the occasional meeting with investors, who were regrettably in adherence with the rest of the country’s early work schedule), and Kenma could very often be found doing livestreams at 4 a.m.
When he and Kuroo had finally sorted through their long-harbored, poorly-concealed feelings for one another and Kuroo moved into Kenma’s flat, Kenma was a little worried that his sleeping patterns would be a problem in their relationship, especially since Kuroo, always having been sickeningly energetic in the mornings, worked a normal job that started at an hour earlier than Kenma had been up for in years. But, much to his relief, he and Kuroo fell into an easy pattern and their schedules worked quite well around each other’s.
Their typical day looked something like this:
Kuroo woke up early and left for work, and if Kenma stirred at all when he felt Kuroo stroke his hair back and gently kiss his forehead before he left, he was back to sleep in another moment.
Several hours later, Kenma would finally be ready to roll out of bed, pull on a hoodie and some pajama pants (working from home really couldn’t be beat), and trudge to the kitchen to make coffee and start his work day. He was still sleepy for the first few hours (waking up would never NOT be hard), so coffee was an absolute must for him to be capable of dealing with other people. On some days, Kuroo would come home midday to eat lunch with him (late breakfast, in Kenma’s case). Then he would return to the JVA office and Kenma would get the bulk of his work done for the day.
One change Kuroo had made was switching his daily workouts from early in the morning before work to afternoons right after work. He would usually bring his gym bag to work and go straight from the office. That way, Kenma had some more time to work uninterrupted before his boyfriend got home, and Kuroo could stay up later and enjoy some more time with him.
He and Kuroo switched off who cooked dinner, depending on what Kenma had going on for work in the evenings, sometimes even cooking together. No matter what, the two made sure they always ate dinner together, free from work distractions or electronics. They talked about their days and told silly jokes, often flicking bits of rice and playfully kicking each others’ shins. Being in love doesn’t change being best friends.
After dinner, they curled up next to one another on the couch, watching whatever anime they were hooked on- it was currently Tokyo Revengers, for the third time. Rewatching shows gave them a good excuse to let their focus drift and end up lazily making out instead.
When the evenings turned to night and Kuroo started drifting off on the couch, Kenma would drag him up and make sure he properly got ready for bed. Once Kuroo was safely ensconced under the blankets and head ready to squish between the pillows, Kenma gave him one last kiss and a whispered “I love you, Kuro,” which always elicited his favorite sleepy Kuroo smile.
Sometimes, Kenma really wished he could just fall asleep normally at the same time as his boyfriend. That way, he wouldn’t have to be alone at night, his only company the doubts and insecurities swirling in his head. He could feel warm and safe and happy wrapped up in Kuroo’s arms, slowly drifting into slumber alongside him.
Instead, though, Kenma now made his way to his game room. Admittedly, there was something kind of peaceful about being awake when the rest of the world was slowly falling asleep. If he had a stream scheduled, he would start getting ready for it about now; he was full of energy at this point in the day, so he could handle the bit of social anxiety that always came right before he turned his camera on.
Otherwise, he had some freedom to do things for himself. Usually that meant trying out new games or going back to old favorites that he wanted to play for himself, not for his viewers. But other times, he would also read books, do some sketching (he was working on some characters from his favorite volleyball manga, inspired by Kuroo’s tales-from-work of volleyball in action), or even doing some yoga when he was feeling particularly restless. He did his best to keep his brain quiet, not letting the dreamy atmosphere that came with being awake in the middle of the night make him too introspective.
About an hour before going to bed, Kenma always made himself a cup of peppermint tea. His therapist recommended that he stick to a small routine each night to help his body get ready for sleep- even though his schedule fit his natural circadian rhythm much better now, Kenma still had recurrent trouble with falling or staying asleep. He guessed that was probably just how it would always be for him, he’d never be completely free from insomnia.
Deep into the night when he finally started to feel sleepy, he brushed his teeth and took a quick shower (another recommendation from his therapist; going to bed clean and warm from the water gave him a better chance of drifting to sleep). Then he crawled into bed, careful not to stir the already-snoozing Kuroo.
Then came Kenma’s favorite part of every day. Kenma still struggled with showing the immensity of his feelings for Kuroo; he’d loved him in secret for some long, that it was difficult not to hide some of his emotions away out of habit. On rare occasions, a small corner of his mind worried that maybe his love was bigger than Kuroo knew, maybe even too big, and Kuroo might be scared off by the enormity of it….it was something he was working on. Therapy.
But in the dead of night, Kenma was free to stare at Kuroo’s sleeping face and let his emotions flow freely. He was free to admire the softness of his partner’s expression, usual smirk relaxed in the pattern of soft inhales and exhales. The silkiness of his hair, being actively mussed by the pillows all around his head. His long eyelashes, slightly stubbled jawline, and the overall allure that came not from his devilishly charming persona or cute, awkward sweetness, but just from something exclusively and wholly Kuroo. Kenma was often reminded of gazing at Kuroo’s sleeping face like this when the two had sleepovers in high school, coming to the panicked realization that his feelings went deeper than those of just best friends.
Now, he could smile at the memory, reaching over to cup Kuroo’s-his Kuroo’s- face and rubbing his thumb over his cheek. And if ever it roused the man, Kuroo would simply smile, turn his head to kiss Kenma’s palm, and softly murmur, “Sleep, Kitten.”
And maybe, Kenma would think his problems with insomnia weren’t too bad if this was his life.