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I keep having the same nightmare ever since I woke up… For one moment I was at a beach and I fished up Paimon. Now, we are now more like travel buddies. It’s been weeks of traveling around this foreign world. Nights I keep having the same nightmares over and over again.
I can hear Paimon groaning to my side.
“Lumiiine.” She said, clearly waking up from her sleep.
“What…?” I said, still half-asleep.
“What’s for breakfast?” She asks as she now turns around to meet me, only for her to see how sweaty I am.
“Is something wrong, Lumine?” She asks, as she now floats up. “Did you have a nightmare?”
“Huh?” I said in response, rubbing my face with my palm. Once I checked, it was damp with sweat.
“Ah, I keep having these nightmares recently…” I said in response, my voice going low as I said the last word in my response.
“Do you want to tell Paimon what nightmare you’re having?” Paimon asks, genuinely. Usually she’d tease me and scare me. I am still fairly new to this world, so I kept falling for what she was saying.
Like a gullible child, knowing nothing and trusting others’ words and thinking everything they say are facts. Pathetic isn’t, considering I have lived for several millennia now.
“I… I’d rather not, Paimon.” I said, I sound like I was defeated from a war or a duel.
“If you’re sure, Lumine.” Paimons said in response.
For some reason, she wasn’t that demanding for food today. It has been a month that we kept camping outside. We haven’t even made contact with the nearest settlement, or even town yet. We had it rough for these past few days. Well… Especially me.
I don’t know why, but I kept having the same nightmare over and over again. It just bothers me. Why do I always have the same nightmare? Why do I keep on having the same nightmare over and over again, for every single night that has passed by? Is there any significance in that damn nightmare?
‘It feels so real…’ I blindly thought as I was trying to fight these, what do you call them? Ah right! Hilichurls. ‘It FELT so real…’
Over and over again, as if it was haunting me. Because of this, I often don’t pay attention to anything else other than trying to analyze said nightmare. Heck, I keep forgetting I have to eat, Paimon is just here to be basically an alarm clock for me on when to eat.
“Lumiiine!” Paimon again yelled at me.
“Huh, what?” Startled, I replied.
“It’s already past noon and we haven’t eaten lunch yet!” She said, then right on cue, her stomach rumbles.
“O-Oh, right, sorry, I forgot.” I replied back, standing up, preparing to make a fire.
“Is there really nothing bothering you, Lumine? Paimon has been growing a bit concerned for the past few days…”
“It’s nothing, Paimon.” I wave it off. “It’s nothing.”
From there on, Paimon just gave concerned looks every now and then. When we go hunting for food, when we try to raid Hilichurl camps, the list goes on.
In the midst of a normal day, in the midst of every single second. After several days of me being awakened from my slumber, I felt chills down my spine, asking the same questions over and over.
“Paimon’s starting to get sick of being outside…” Paimon says, as we walk back to the current cave we sleep in. And yes, we did live in caves from time to time. We didn’t have anything fancy like a tent, or any of that stuff.
“Can we please find AN actual place to stay?” She pouted, acting so childishly.
“Until we actually find a better cave, then we could.” I replied, as I started another fire for the night. It’s so rainy outside, I had to sleep with my clothes wet for tonight.
“But Paimon is sick of living in caves!” She whines.
“Hey, you used to live under the water.”
“What connection does that make!? And Paimon is not a fish!”
I just laughed as she continued on whining, explaining, “Paimon is Paimon!”. It was actually a way for me to cope from these nightmares.
So the night continued, with Paimon still acting childish, while I tried to sleep. Sometimes I think even without Paimon’s appearance, I still would have thought of her like a child. I mean, she acts like a child, demanding food, sometimes can be innocent, and can easily be scared.
Thanks to Paimon’s bad memory of herself, she doesn’t even know her actual age. So, it’s safe to assume that she is still a child, of her kind, hopefully . I still would want to know more about this world and why I was here.
I only remembered I was traveling through different worlds, witnessing the beauty and uniqueness of each world. But this person… I can’t remember who I was traveling with. Was it my friend? My lover? Or some relative? I don’t know. It was a fuzzy memory. All I know is that they died in a tragic death, at least that’s what I remember.
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There was nothing but smoke and ashes. Nothing but fire rages on through the solid earth. For some reason I was smiling at the scene. As if it was what I truly desired. The world burning before me, people dying, society crumbling.
I was mercilessly killing anything in my path. Young and old, peasant and noble, healthy and sick. Everyone who stood before me, I slashed with my golden sword, staining it with the blood of many people.
I set my sights on a particular person. I narrowed my eyes and spoke to them, demanding they choose either me, or the people they were defending. They chose the latter, and then we had a duel. It’s just between me and them, as I blocked out their companions, and my companions out of the fight.
It was fierce, my golden sword clashed with theirs. The impact of each strike was enough to disdain my sword, giving it’s glorious glow. Again another clash of gold and steel, again another heated eye contact with the other, and again, another inch to death.
We kept on fighting and fighting. Until the victor of the fight had arisen. And it was me.
“You got me…” They said, as they tried to force out a sincere smile, even though they were in deep pain, and in death’s door.
That's when I realized I stabbed them straight through their heart. I was shocked, and so frightened of what I had done. They closed their eyes, and started falling.
I yelled their name, but it was too faint for me to hear. I tried to reach out for their hand. But they fell into the fire below us. And for the last time I saw them saying something, mouthing something.
“Love…You.” They said as they were now engulfed in the flames, instantly burning up their skin, and then they dissipated into a bright light that had engulfed me.
That was when I woke up.
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I shot up from my hard-surfaced-makeshift-bed, panting and sweating. I checked Paimon to my side, checking if I had woken her up, but thankfully I didn’t.
I got up from the bed and walked up outside, and it was still night.
‘It happened again…’ I thought as I looked up at the peaceful night sky. I walked up to the nearest pond, and took a glimpse of my reflection.
What I didn’t expect was not only that I saw my reflection, but the figure, the person in my dreams, was there too. Stains of blood, coming from his cheat, well specifically, from the open wound on his heart. I didn’t get to see his face as I was completely taken aback.
I looked back up to see if they were there, but they were not. Am I driven to insanity by these nightmares? What are they even saying to me? Why do I keep on experiencing these nightmares?
I just cried, right then and there. I just covered my face with my hands as I wept on. I cried because of the fear I felt, the pain I felt.
I cried because I can’t remember who I killed.
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“Is something bothering you?” Amber asks, we were having breakfast together before our daily routine of patrolling.
“Oh, it’s nothing.” I shook my head, trying to forget what my thoughts were.
“You've been like this for over a month now, you know?”
I just remained silent, contemplating if I should tell her about this.
“C’mon, you can tell me anything that has been bothering you.”
And with that encouragement, I told her everything.