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Language:
English
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Published:
2022-01-24
Completed:
2022-02-07
Words:
800
Chapters:
8/8
Comments:
11
Kudos:
10
Bookmarks:
2
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104

Ethan-Centered Drabbles

Summary:

Drabbles centered around Ethan. I usually include a quote from the fic in my summaries, but since these are... well, drabbles, that's a bit more difficult.

Notes:

Hello! :)
This may get updated? I'm going to mark it as complete anyway though, since it's all standalone.
(3 more chapters/drabbles posted, February 7, 2022)

Chapter 1: I'm Sorry, Jason

Chapter Text

Ethan goes to Jason’s grave today, for the first time since the Origami Killer took Shaun.

He goes alone. Shaun’s with Grace; shared custody and all.

He got a red balloon at the store. It was difficult as hell for him to stomach, and he barely made it happen; but here he is, standing in front of Jason’s grave with a red balloon and a birthday card.

Ethan ties the balloon to the shepherd’s hook beside the grave; he nestles the card on the ground in front of the grave. He wipes the tears away.

Daddy’s sorry, Jason. Happy Birthday.

Chapter 2: Pinkie Promise

Chapter Text

Shaun puts his pinkie out for a ‘pinkie promise’ one day.

Ethan somehow forgets he doesn’t have a left pinkie finger anymore.

And with that not in mind, he offers up his non-existent left pinkie to Shaun, and is rewarded with a very strange look from him.

It takes Ethan a few moments to realize why.

He quickly tries to recover the situation by offering his right pinkie, and Shaun’s smile returns.

The promise was to go to the park tomorrow. Though, there are very, very few public spaces Ethan likes taking Shaun to—or going to at all—anymore.

Chapter 3: Restless

Chapter Text

Ethan wakes up covered in sweat and breathless, most nights.

He doesn’t think he’s had a solid night of sleep for years.

Of course, getting Shaun back has helped.

But his guilt over Jason’s death isn’t gone. It will never be gone.

Red balloons still make his heart drop, his mouth go dry. Rain, wells, puddles—all of them make his stomach flip for at least a split second.

Shaun wants to play in puddles; he wants to go to malls. He wants red balloons. He wants to cross the street to that candy store—and Ethan tries his best.

Chapter 4: A Broken Vase

Chapter Text

Shaun broke a vase today.

Ethan isn’t angry. Not about Shaun breaking the vase, at least.

It’s just that his hands are shaking and his heart’s fallen to his stomach and all he can see is a cramped vent littered with shards of glass.

Shaun looks like he believes Ethan is angry with him.

Ethan plasters on the best smile he can, which is not a good one, and he puts a hand on his son’s shoulder and tells him that dad will clean it up.

Shaun smiles and goes to his room to play, and Ethan tries to breathe.

Chapter 5: Musical Fingers

Chapter Text

When he was little, Shaun liked playing ‘musical fingers’ with Ethan.

It was pretty simple, really, but tiny little Shaun liked it. He’d pull on each of Ethan’s fingers and Ethan would make various sounds. It’d make him laugh that sweet little toddler laugh.

To be fair, it’d been years since that happened. Not many, many years, but enough time that it was solidly more a memory than a present experience for Ethan.

Occasionally, Ethan looks down at his missing left pinkie and recounts the before. Being in the after has changed a lot, but it hasn’t changed the memories.

Chapter 6: Poison

Chapter Text

After Ethan drinks the poison in that eccentric, white room, he does feel regret. For many, many things.

He doesn’t want to die—he didn’t want to risk being killed when he got shards of glass embedded in his knees and arms, broken ribs, and electrical burns across his chest, either.

But he does want to save Shaun—then, and now. So, he drinks the poison. He picks up the watch. And he sets off to get his son.

Of all the regrets Ethan does have, he doesn’t want to die knowing he failed to save either of his children.

Chapter 7: Remembrance

Chapter Text

He’ll never be alright. Not really.

Ethan saved Shaun, yes; with a lot of help. And he’s beyond glad Shaun is alive—that Shaun is safe.

But Jason will never be back. Ethan will never be able to hold him close, to know Jason is safe beside him. He couldn’t save one son, and almost let another one die.

And for that, he will never forgive himself. Ethan’s resolved himself to it, in a way.

So while he tries to live his life as happily as he can, with Shaun by his side, he still remembers. And he still regrets.

Chapter 8: Driving Lessons

Chapter Text

Shaun is learning to drive.

Of course, Ethan is beyond proud of him. It’s amazing he’s already old enough.

Except Ethan’s teaching him how to drive on the interstate.

Shaun still doesn’t really know about that trial—some were harder to hide than others, but they hadn’t talked much about this one.

Ethan’s shaken up, and Shaun clearly doesn’t completely get it, but there’s this look in Shaun’s eyes that shows part of him is realizing what this is about.

There’s a pain there, in Shaun’s look.

“We’ll do it another day, dad,” he says, with a careful, soft smile.