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Do You Think We're Weird?

Summary:

"You're a great author. Your commas and spacing is lacking and your spelling leaves something to be desired, but it's something I believe the world should read so I edit it."

Notes:

Hey everyone!

So something different that I came up with when i was watching porn for plot bunnies. Yes, i eventually found some which became two other fics, but I noticed that none of the shit that happens in our fics ever happens in porns and that got me thinking and well...this is the results. ^0^

Co-written by my lovely fic pet ***RedRomRomance***, the first of many more, next time with real porn instead of "real porn". ^0^

Hope you guys enjoy! ^-^

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It was a bit disorienting to see how different the place looked with regular everyday lighting, it made things look a bit less shady and more like a respectable place to bring children. Not that Solid Gold would ever be somewhere to bring your children, but without the colored lights flashing and lights dim with a spotlight on the stage, you could almost fake it being a real restaurant and not a strip club.

"You leaving, Mikes?"

Gabe yelled from where he was wiping down the bar and putting the clean glasses back into the obnoxiously ornate cabinet.

"Yeah, I got off way earlier, but the new kid went home sick and I had to take his client instead, paid for a trip to the Onyx Room."

The Onyx Room meant no touching the worker, but they can touch you if they want to. The worker's choice, not the client. The Ivory Room was all access, but still the worker was in charge.

"You don't sound pleased at the extra money."

Gabe looked at Mikey without a smile, which wasn't a face Gabe gave unless he figured something was serious enough to not crack a joke at.

"Fucking ripped my costume. Ripped my costume with his greasy, grabby hands. Almost wanted to rip his throat out. This was my favorite, Gee worked so fucking hard on this. It was my Valentine's Day present."

Mikey truly wanted to flip a table and grumble his way home and was at times like this where he was glad his neutral/poker face looked kinda pissed, off kinda apathetic and that he wore it well.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Gee is pretty cool about stuff like that happening. He knows it's a hazard of the job."

"Hazard of the job or not, the only thing that felt better than taking off those fake fangs was seeing him being dragged bodily from my fucking sight."

Gabe laughed like he always did. Out of all the strippers there, Mikey was the one that took his job the most seriously. He always said Mikey should find a better place to work, but Mikey would miss Gabe and the rest of the gang too much and the pay was not bad, plus he was well known and got bonuses for training the newbies.

"Well, you should get going before Gee has a fit that you are late and comes looking for you again."

"That was once, and he should be asleep. He forgets what regular hours of working feels like."

Walking over to the bar he hugged Gabe before heading to the door.

"But, yeah, I'm ready to get these clothes and make-up off. I doubt Dracula had these problems."

Opening the door to leave he called out good-bye to Gabe once more before shutting it firmly behind him. The night was chilly, but not too bad for three in the morning. He was ready to go home lay down face first and wait till he regained the motivation and/or got uncomfortable enough to remove his make-up and clothing. That was his only line of reasoning as he shut the door of his car and started the engine, manically backing out and starting the short 10 minute drive home from work. Now that he thought about it, he would probably take off his clothes and change into something more comfortable so he didn't mess up the costume even more. It was his favorite character he had played so far at Solid Gold. Before a vampire he was a professor, and as cliché as that was, at least he wasn't Konner who ended up drawing "cowboy" out of the suggestion box for his seasonal costume change. If Konner had Gerard making his costumes Mikey was sure it wouldn't have turned into the cliché fashion train wreck that no customer seemed to mind, but still made him cringe thinking about it. With no one on the roads the trip was made shorter by the lack of caring on suggested speed limits through residential areas and frivolous things such as solid double lines.

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Everything was fine until he couldn’t seem to get the key into his apartment door with one hand. The other was carrying the outer coat of his costume that the client had ripped. Mikey didn't remember doors taking two hands to get a key into them. Eventually the door was finally conquered and he stepped through, but instead of the silence he expected he was met with noises that were positively pornographic. In fact he was 100% sure that it was indeed porn coming from the living room as far as he could tell.

"You owe me for this."

He muttered as if he had planned on going to chill in the living room and Gerard was making him revert to plan B. Instead of turning right into the living room Mikey slipped off his shoes and turned left down the hallway to his room. He was going to wait a bit before informing Gerard he was here. Mikey wasn't a complete dick and knew when to give his brother some space to do his thing.

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When about 15 minutes had passed he figured he should at least go take him make-up off and get up and put on some clothes as he had just lay down in his underwear after taking off his costume and hanging it up correctly. So pulling on some batman pajama bottoms that Gee had left on his floor and a shirt that he bought because you can never have enough blank black tees, he made his way to the bathroom to take off the rest of his makeup that hadn't rubbed off onto his pillow. Retrospectively, going straight to laying down might not have been safest for his pillow's cleanliness. Either way, there wasn't much of the smoky eyeshadow on Mikey's right eye when he looked himself in the mirror. Taking his makeup remover from the counter he began to wipe his face free of the makeup. Walking out of the bathroom after flicking the switch off he could still hear the porn playing in the living room. Making his way down the hallway Mikey walked into the kitchen. Inside the coffee pot was maybe a 1/8 of coffee left and the urge to brew a whole new pot almost overcame him, even his brain telling him that he had his not-as-well-paying job tomorrow and coffee would keep him up made him not want coffee. He settled for glaring at the machine and grabbing a glass from the cabinet and slowly lowering it to the counter.

"You know you can always make decaf."

"That's like owning a magic wand and being only able to make bubbles. The stuff is shit comparatively. Why do we even have it? It's an abomination."

Mikey looked sufficiently outraged at what Gerard was implying. Drink decaf indeed.

"Just a suggestion."

Nothing else was said by his brother, but the air around them was filled with an invitation for Mikey to join him. As he left the kitchen, he could still hear the musical sound of porn in the air.

"Are you inviting me to watch porn with you?"

Mikey was fairly sure that was what was being said here, but there was nothing wrong with asking consent before sitting down next to another person while they are watching porn. He was also sure that this was usually something you do with just yourself, but he wasn't anyone to judge. Porn was never what got him off, but whatever lifts Gerard's skirt. Shrugging he took a few more wandering steps into the living room before reaching the back of the couch. Gerard was hunched over with his spiral notebook in his lap. On the screen was a scene with two twinks in the middle of a double blowjob with a burly older man. They were just taking turns going down on him and he was staring at them.

"Hey, you know what? Real porn is nothing like what I write. I mean, they have not tried to suck his balls or play with them. They also have not gone down on him together or kissed once."

"I doubt they have said each other's names, either. Porn isn't into intimacy so much as fantasy."

Leaning against the back of the couch Mikey settled in for a bit.

"Straight men probably wrote this, too. All they did was substitute two girls for guys and figured it was gay enough and hoped people would get off on it."

"Tell me about it."

Gerard looked up and smiled at Mikey.

"Missed you."

"I wasn't gone too long."

Mikey smiled at Gerard anyway.

"I missed you, too, though. It's hard not to miss just hanging out with your brother when instead you are getting groped by assholes who don't understand the 'no touching' rule."

Rolling his eyes he continued.

"Totally would have rather been here, even with your weird ass who watches porn for semi-educational purposes."

Mikey wasn't ready for it of course so Gerard used the advantage to grab his shoulders and flip Mikey over the couch onto his back and then proceed to tickle him to death.

"Who's weird?"

Laughing too hard to really get any words out Mikey still attempted to assure his brother that Gerard was, in fact, the weirder of the two.

"You!"

He said. Well, it came out more of a squeal as he violently tried to wiggle away, almost knocking himself off the couch.

"I'm. Totally. Normal."

The words were punctuated by half-aborted snorts of laughter as he tried to control himself.

"Nope, if I'm weird, then you are too cause we are brothers and.."

"Oh yeah baby, take it, take it all."

The TV cut through the conversation that the brothers were having and Gerard just started to crack up.

"What the fuck kind of a line was that? Can you imagine is Dean said that shit?"

"Well, if you replaced "baby" with "angel" then you could totally have a 12 year-old written Castiel and Dean fic."

Mikey was breathing hard and slowly getting away from Gerard's hands which had paused their tickling.

"Which I guess is saying that most porn you see online is written by 12 year olds. That makes sense as this video shows that someone out there has no idea what actual sex is like. Virgin 12 year olds is my new theory, Gee. It's official."

"Maybe, but seriously, I wrote better sex talk in my last fic then this shit!"

Gerard was kind of disgusted. The scene changed and it showed a power twink with a more feminine one.

"I'm going to show you who is the boss around here missy."

The fem one squeaked as he was thrown over the power's shoulder and carried to the...kitchen?

"Okay, like seriously? Why the kitchen?"

"Where else could they be edgy? This is new age porn, Gerard. I bet he tries to fuck a blender. True hardcore porn."

.

"Why are you watching this anyway? I get watching some things to get ideas for fics, but these are pure trash. You can't be learning or even getting anything from these. At best they are lowering your IQ."

"I was just hoping for a decent plot idea or half of one. Too much to ask for huh?"

The Power twink is now fucking the fem with abandon, but not one moan has come out of the fem’s mouth.

"Geeze, is he even trying to aim for his prostate and I did not see his lube of stretch him at all!"

"At this point it almost seems like fucking a kitchen utensil would, in fact, be more pleasurable for the poor kid."

"Maybe becasue they are getting paid, it doesn't matter how they feel."

Gerard slumped a little in his seat. He hated that idea. They may have been porn actors, but they were still people. Sometimes he was a little too sensitive.

"He could just be like that during sex. Not everyone is so vocal; some people can enjoy it silently."

"I'm looking at his face, I mean there is hardly an expression at all! When I write about Castiel, I describe his mouth being slack jawed and rounded, cheeks flushed, eyes lidded, I mean, this guy looks like a fucking mannequin and the power looks like he thinks he is a sex God!"

Gerard was really getting pissed now. He really should just turn it off.

"Maybe you should turn it off, or change to something better. Some porn just isn't worth watching, bro. And this is one of them."

Tilting his head at the screen Mikey watched for a few seconds longer.

"Alright, seriously change this."

"No, it's cool, there is only one more scene and since I paid for this shit, I might as well finish it."

The final scene turned out to be one that made Gerard and Mikey stare at first and then bust out laughing.

"Oh my God really?"

The older man was spanking the twink ass and attempting...poorly to talk dirty.

"Who's my naught boy? Who's my very naughty boy? Daddy needs to give you a good spanking."

"If the poor twink was a golden retriever I feel he would enjoy this more. Gerard, of all porn videos to buy, you might have gotten the worst."

Wrapping his arms around himself Mikey attempted to keep watching through laughter that was almost to the point of tear-producing.,

"Good boy, who wants a Scooby snack?" Mikey half-snorted half-choked out.

"Okay okay, that's it, I can't take it anymore!"

Gerard grabs the remote and turns it off. He yanks the disc out and drops it in the envelope.

"I'm going to tell them that it would not play and get my money back."

"That's great. Please do it."

Mikey wiped tears from his eyes.

"Tell them your brother cried and you want your money back."

"My little brother said he was scared by the dialogue."

Gerard grabbed his cigarettes.

"Wanna join me?"

"Gee, it's four in the morning. Where are you going to return it?"

"I'm going to throw it in the mail box stupid."

Gerard rolled his eyes and headed to the door not even waiting for Mikey. Sighing Mikey stood from the couch and shoved his feet into his flip flops that he keeps by the door all year just for times he was too lazy to put on real shoes.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, geez."

Gerard was there as soon as the door opened.

"You are so predictable Mikes."

"Predictable, my ass. If I let you go alone you'd probably get mugged by a Girl Scout or something. I'm here to keep you safe."

Mikey rolled his eyes and lightly pushed his brother a bit.

"Let's get that in the mailbox so I can go back inside and sleep."

Gerard lit two cigarettes and handed one to Mikey. He then walked down to the mailbox and popped the envelope in. He looked up as he blew smoke into the night sky.

"Ever think it's weird what we do?"

"What do we do that's so weird?"

Mikey took a drag before following suit and blowing smoke into the darkness.

"Like moving out of mom's and still living together. Plus I write Supernatural fan fiction and you edit it for me and it doesn't weird you out."

"I don't know. I never really thought about it till now. I mean, it's kinda like you making my costumes for Solid Gold. It's natural for us. Whatever works, works."

Mikey shrugs and then muses more.

"You're a great author. Your commas and spacing is lacking and your spelling leaves something to be desired, but it's something I believe the world should read so I edit it."

Stopping to just focus on the cigarette, Mikey just looked at Gerard.

"Do you find it weird?"

That was the true question. Mikey started to wonder if maybe Gerard was trying to get him to move out or something. He was almost sure his brother would never, but it was four in the morning and anything is possible.

"Nah, I don’t think it is weird, i think it is just us, like you said whatever works works."

They finished their cigarettes in silence and then headed in. Gerard locked the door behind them and then yawned and stretched.

"You crashing in your room tonight or with me?"

"I left my good pillow in your bed last night, no need to move it. I'll just crash with you again."

Mikey yawned widely either from lack of sleep or maybe just from watching Gerard yawn.

"I need sleep now, Gee. Bedtime."

The Ways moved into the bedroom. Mikey went right for his side of the bed and Gerard had to laugh.

"You have to admit that it is funny that we managed to not want the same side of the bed...cause you know my bed and I will fight you for it."

"It was meant to be, we were meant to sleep together since birth."

Mikey made his voice overdramatic like a long-lost lover in some badly cast soap opera.

"I think it's because some higher power decided that losers sleep on one side of the bed an winners on the other and since I'm the winner in this situation, you were destined to sleep on that side of the bed."

Mikey shoved his face into his pillow as he wiggled under the comforter and settled in to sleep.

"Nah, but really we are lucky. Because you would always lose in a fight. Good thing it won't come to that."

Gerard would retaliate, but sleep is taking over him. He just strips down to his boxers and crawls into bed sticking his cold feet on Mikey as revenge.

"Night, Mikes."

Mikey pushes Gerard's feet off him, but then curls up against his chest.

"Night, Gee."

Notes:

Hello everyone! I truly hope you enjoy reading this. I did just now get around to editing it. Not even the day it was posted. Anyway, it was quite the experience writing and role-playing to write this. It was nerve wracking trying to not sound like a three year old with limited unserstanding of social interaction. Finally being able to write-write with my favorite author pretty much made my life.t here is a difference between being abeta and being co-author. You also don't realize you have a writing style until you try and merge yours with someone else's.

I feel our styles melded into a spork. Which are just punk rock spoons.

Love,
RedRomRomance

(P.S Solid Gold (The name of the strip club) is a tribute to the lovely writer MIstress Penelopye on ff.net who not longer writes but made my young life with her amazing Bleach fanfics. All AU's.)

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