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Atsumu is in his classroom during lunch break when a few boys from class approach him.
Among them is Kaito. Atsumu and Kaito don’t necessarily get along but for some reason he approaches Atsumu more days than not. Perhaps to patronize him.
Atsumu is eating lunch alone like he does most days. It’s nothing he dwells over, at least that’s what he tells himself. Osamu is probably with some friends from his class. It’s only natural, Atsumu thinks. Much to his dismay, he and Osamu didn’t end up in the same class in high school. Believe it or not, Atsumu was in a more advanced class - he was smarter than a lot of people seemed to think.
Which brings us to Kaito approaching him. They start casual banter with each other. In a way, Atsumu and Kaito had built some sort of friendship through all their bickering and arguing. It was nice to have someone to do that with, in Osamu’s place.
“Say Atsumu,” Kaito starts “who’s your best friend?”
Atsumu doesn’t even have to think before he answers.
“Easy, ‘Samu!”
He’s proud of it too.
“That doesn’t count! He’s your brother!”
As if that matters
“Nah it counts! ‘Still my answer”
Kaito just scoffed at him.
Sure, Osamu was his brother. But he was also his best friend, they knew each other from the inside out, hung out all the time and did everything together. The definition of a best friend is “a person who you value above other friends in your life”. That was exactly who Osamu was to Atsumu.
Later that day Atsumu and Osamu are having a snack together in front of the TV. They wouldn’t usually be eating there, their mother would kill them if she knew. Some baking show is on TV and Osamu is heavily invested.
“Hey ‘Samu? We’re best friends right?”
Osamu chuckles lightly at that.
“Nah, yer my twin. Rin’s ma best friend” he replies, not thinking much of it.
At that, Atsumu feels his stomach drop.
Oh
Oh.
Atsumu sits there for a few more minutes. Quiet.
“I think I’m goin’ ta bed” he says and stands up to leave.
Osamu makes a noise of acknowledgment as Atsumu walks up the stairs.
He crawls up into the top bunk and curls in on himself. Before he can really even think about it, tears are making their way down his cheeks, landing on the pillow.
Of course Osamu doesn’t think of him as his best friend. Who would wanna be friends with someone like him anyways? He’s just an annoying, loud brat and Osamu probably only hangs out with him because he feels like he has to. They are in forced proximity, and if Osamu could choose, he’d probably be with anyone else. He’d probably be with Rin.
Atsumu squeezes his eyes shut and lets out another sob.
The thing was that to Osamu, saying what he said, was most likely a really insignificant thing. But to Atsumu, who doesn’t have anyone other than Osamu, it was heartbreaking to hear.
Atsumu is still crying when he hears Osamu enter their shared bedroom. He quickly shuts up and pretends to be asleep. Holding his breath as Osamu moves around quietly. They don’t usually hide things from each other, but since they’re apparently not even best friends, why should he tell him anything?
Later, when Osamu has long since fallen asleep, Atsumu goes into the bathroom. He blows his nose, washes his face and then stares at himself in the mirror for minutes.
“Is Osamu ashamed of me?” He asks himself quietly.
His brother didn’t even seem to care that he went to bed at 19:30, who actually goes to bed that early?
If Osamu cared, he would’ve said something, right?
The next day greets Atsumu with dark circles under his eyes and a sluggish feeling in his entire body. How is he gonna survive an entire day of practice and school?
Turns out he won’t. It feels like years until he finally has lunch break. He brings his bento and goes to a secluded part of the school yard.
Huh, he really is all alone.
Now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t really have any friends at all. Because he thought Osamu was his friend, best friend even. But friendships have to be mutual, right? And there’s the volleyball team, but would any of them even speak to Atsumu if they didn’t play the same sport? Atsumu doesn’t think so.
Atsumu hugs his knees, bento long since forgotten. There’s a stab of sadness hitting his chest, tears prickling at his eyes. God, he’s pathetic.
Atsumu is off at afternoon practice, the team notices but they don’t say anything. Just share looks with each other. Not even Osamu says anything.
Kita gives him a sympathetic look and a pat on the shoulder, it doesn’t make Atsumu feel better at all. He’s just pitying you, his brain supplies.
God, Atsumu just wants to scream. Can’t they just say they all hate him and move on?
“Hey, ‘Tsumu, what’s crawled up yer ass and died? You’ve been weird all day!” Osamu says later when they’re walking home together. It’s quieter than usual when Atsumu doesn’t bother to even speak.
“‘s’nothin’” He mumbles “it’s not like ya care anyways”
Osamu huffs at that.
“‘Course I don’t, but yer just gonna be all annoyin’ and whiny ‘bout it, so just tell me”
Was he really that bad? Atsumu asks himself.
His chest hurts. He stays quiet.
“Oi!” Osamu exclaims and kicks Atsumu’s legs.
Atsumu feels like crying. His brother doesn’t even care.
“God just shut up and leave me alone!” He yells and speeds up to get away from his brother.
Osamu, stunned, stops and just stares after his brother.
Atsumu cringes at how immature that must’ve seemed. But he needed to get away from his brother before he said something he didn’t want to. Before he embarrassed himself more than he’d already done.
He reaches their house in record time and speeds up the stairs to lock himself in the bathroom before Osamu gets home.
Once in the bathroom, he sits down on the cold tiled floor and buries his head in his knees. Letting tears fall while shaking like a freezing chihuahua. Pathetic.
He’s just so tired. Is it so much to ask for, to just want someone to care? For someone to value him as a friend? It’s silly really, having an entire crisis just because his twin doesn’t consider him to be his best friend. He’s so immature, he knows, his brother is allowed to have friends. Just because Atsumu is all alone, doesn’t mean Osamu has to be. He just needs to accept it.
While he’s busy crying on the bathroom floor, he doesn’t realize the door he forgot to lock is opening.
He suddenly feels a presence next to him. Warmth radiating from the body. His head shoots up, eyes red rimmed and teary. He must really look pitiful because Osamu looks at him with so much sympathy and care.
He probably just feels bad, Atsumu thinks.
An arm makes it’s way around him, and a head falls down on his shoulder. Atsumu feels his world crumble. He’s just so incredibly tired. He turns around and practically falls onto Osamu, sobbing into his neck. Osamu hushes him and tightens his arms around him.
“Why doesn’t anyone like me?” He asks, so much grief in his voice.
Osamu doesn’t say anything for a while, just continues hugging him and rubbing his back. Waiting for him to calm down.
After a while, Atsumu’s loud sobs have been reduced to the occasional sniffle. Osamu decides to speak.
“Why do ya think nobody likes ya?”
Atsumu let’s out an unamused laugh at that.
“Isn’t it obvious?” He asks. “Ya know all the kids at school hate me. And I’ve been fine with that, it doesn’t really matter ta me. And I guess the team’s really all I have, but none of them would actually hang out with me if we didn’t play the same sport”
Osamu tries to interrupt him but Atsumu continues.
“And the other day, Kaito, from my class asked me who my best friend was. And it was so obvious to me, its ya, ’Samu, and i said as much. But it turns out, that ya don’t even feel like that. And I ask myself, if I don’ even have ya, if ya have Sunarin, then who do I have?”
Atsumu starts crying again. He feels stupid.
“Oh ‘Tsumu, I didn’t know it meant that much to ya” Osamu says, feeling guilty for being the reason his brother feels so sad. “But listen, just ‘cause I don’t see ya as my best friend doesn’t mean I don’t love ya the mostest. Bein’ Best Friends feels like a weak statement for the bond I share with ya. I still stand by it, yer not my best friend because you’re more than that. I love ya more than I could ever love a friend. Yer my other half. And yer the best twin anyone could ask for, ya hear me?”
Some of the pain dissipates from Atsumu’s chest.
“And sure, ya might not have even met the team if you didn’t play the same sport. But that doesn’t mean they love ya any less. Kita-San and Aran-Kun were both so worried today at practice. And who gives a shit about the people at school who don’t like ya anyway? They’re just jealous”
Atsumu’s still crying but not so much out of sadness anymore. His twin really loves him.
“I really love ya ‘Tsumu, and if anyone says anything mean I’ll kick their asses. M’sorry ‘bout makin’ ya feel like I didn’t care about ya”
“I love ya too, ‘Samu” Atsumu cries out and makes a pathetic shriveling sound.
After hugging tightly for another few minutes, Osamu untangles himself.
“Okay ya big crybaby, let’s make dinner”
Atsumu weakly shoves Osamu “yeah, let’s”
Although the dinner was mostly made by Osamu. But Atsumu will proudly say he at least set the table.
Later that night Atsumu’s once again in bed before Osamu, he’s not crying this time though. And a few minutes later, Osamu crawls into the top bunk and lays next to him. They cuddle up with each other, Atsumu’s head on Osamu’s chest, their legs entangled and arms around each other.
“Goodnight, love ya ‘Tsumu”
“Love ya too, ‘Samu, goodnight”
Atsumu sleeps well that night. Turns out he isn’t all alone, he’ll never be. As long as he has Osamu. Nothing else matters. He’s loved, and he’s cared for. And the next day, their mom has a new Lock Screen on her phone.