Chapter Text
She sat there in the exam room, in the stupidly uncomfortable hospital gown and wondered to herself, how did she get here? When she was little, she was so happy, practically shining everyday. Glow stars on the ceiling she could count instead of sheep, racing her sister to the swings and back, the loser had to pay the other a dollar. God, a dollar was so much money when they were five. But she grew up, became 16 instead. The first time she fell in love she was 14 and maybe it wasn't love. Maybe she tricked herself into thinking it was love because that boy beat her until she was black and blue. Never anywhere that would show or wasn't easy to cover up. Call her a slut if she so much as said hi to another boy, but sometimes he was nice, not when he beat her or tore her away from her friends. But, when he would buy her chocolate and take her on dates, maybe that was love. She survived that for a year and that's when she went to her first party. Fifteen and alone, she discovered that drinking could make her forget, all her worries would go away. Coming home at two in the morning, and maybe she was a slut. Slept with so many people, she couldn't keep them all straight. Granted that could've been the alcohol. Her home life wasn't any better. Her parents always favored her twin.
'Bria, why can't you be like Cici.'
'Bria, if Cici can do it, why can't you?'
Maybe because everyone took so much from her. Maybe because if the PTSD wasn't debilitating enough, the anxiety was. Not that her parents care, they just want a perfect image. The perfect family with the perfect daughters. How she longed to go back and rewrite a couple endings. She wanted to be that little girl again, pigtails and grass stained clothes. To have glow stars in the ceiling. Maybe it'll be okay. Maybe it'll be negative. Maybe she'll still have a future.