Chapter Text
John hummed as his hairdresser ran a brush through his hair. His boss stood by the door, his arms crossed. He stood quite tall and had long, flowing brown hair. It would've been intimidating, but John knew better than to fear him.
"You know, I've realized that this season is just a big publicity stunt," John said.
"But you're still hosting the show," his boss stated.
John shrugged. "Yeah. Not like there's much else to do." His hairdresser finished, and John turned his chair to look at his boss. "You have the press conference scheduled for later today, yes?"
His boss flipped through a few papers, then looked up at him. "Yes. You'd better not break any rules, or it's not me they're going to go after."
"Fine by me." John smirked. He snapped, and his assistant appeared beside him. His assistant was a stout skeleton in an untidy suit. They looked up at him.
"Yes, sir?"
"Tell the crowd I'll be out there in a minute." The assistant nodded and walked off. John turned to his boss. "Well, I hope this goes well." He pulled a glove on his right hand, covering the symbol on it. "You have the papers, right?"
His boss nodded, handing John the papers he needed. "Why do you feel the need to cover your hand every time?"
"That's easy," John responded. "If people knew who I was, there'd be a ground war. Tensions are already high, this is basically the one source of mutual excitement, and I don't want this to be ruined."
"That's fine." The boss smirked. "You need a bit of water? You look a little pale."
"Hardy har har." John flipped him off. "I'm going now."
John and his boss left the room, and John went toward the entrance to the stage. As he walked onto the stage, he noticed the crowd quieted down and his assistant stood off to one side. He walked up to the microphone and addressed the crowded auditorium.
"Hey. I'm John Doe, the host of The Amazing Realm Race."
The crowd cheered. He looked at the crowd, judging the diversity. The grey clothes of Purgatory, the gold and white of Heaven, and the red and black of Hell, all in one spot. John smiled. There were quite a few people that he didn't recognize. Good. The crowd quieted down, and he cleared his throat.
"I have to say, congratulations to you all for making it this far. This year, we had fifty teams apply. This year, we're changing things up a bit. So, we decided to announce the teams that made the cut here rather than just reject them. Of course, I had no say in who made the cut and who didn't, so don't go around blaming me."
The crowd was silent, listening.
John continued, "Well, I am pleased to announce the competing teams today. Without further ado, let's begin." He looked at the page, then back at the crowd. "As you may know, there are twelve teams in total. Four from Hell, four from Heaven, and four from Purgatory. Each team has been given a number. Again, don't sue me for a decision I didn't make.
"The first team to represent Purgatory… Team 38."
There was a small cheer in the back of the auditorium. John smirked, and continued.
"The first team to represent Heaven… Team 7."
An audible high five rang throughout the auditorium.
"The first team to represent Hell… Team 24."
A bout of maniacal laughter came from one side. John decided to ignore it.
"The second team to represent Purgatory… Team 47."
Rambunctious laughter came from the front of the crowd.
"The second team to represent Heaven… Team 13."
A big 'woohoo' came from one direction.
"The second team to represent Hell… Team 4."
A loud 'yeehaw' came from the middle of the crowd.
"The third team to represent Purgatory… Team 22."
There was a smack from one side. John blinked, then continued.
"The third team to represent Heaven… Team 28."
No cheering came, but there was an audible muttering.
"The third team to represent Hell… Team 17."
The crowd was completely silent. The assistant dropped a pin, and the sound was likely audible from the middle rows.
"The final team to represent Purgatory… Team 33."
There were a few groans, but a loud cheering outshone them.
"The final team to represent Heaven… Team 8."
A few more groans, and a high five.
"The final team to represent Hell… Team 42."
In preparation of the outrage, John took the mic off the stand and caused microphone feedback intentionally. The crowd quickly quieted down, and he put the mic back on the stand. "To the teams that were not called, unfortunately this is where we part. Goodbye."
He waited until the 38 other teams left, then addressed the remaining 12 teams. "Now then, to the teams that remain, congratulations."
There was a small amount of clapping, and John cleared his throat. "As you may understand, there are rules that are required to be followed if you wish to stay on the show as you race. I am going to read this paper, and I may seem like a hardass for a bit. That is going to happen.
"Now, I want to say right now that I will not repeat these rules once we are live on camera. Now, let's get started with the major rules. No magic whatsoever. No rituals, no fire, no miracles, just no magic. If you use any magic, you will be disqualified. Next, you cannot, and I repeat cannot reveal yourself to living humans when on Earth. You will be provided with human disguises if you do not have one already.
"Now that we are done with the two big 'No' rules, it is time for the rest of the rules. You will not stray more than six point one meters from your teammate, unless otherwise stated, such as when you interact with a Roadblock. You are required to purchase only economy class tickets when you fly on Earth; however, if the airline will allow you to upgrade your tickets to business class for free, that is permitted. Furthermore, whenever you travel, no matter the mode of transportation, you will travel with the production crew that follows you.
"You are prohibited from contacting friends, family, and acquaintances during the show's duration without supervision. You may be provided with an opportunity to contact them, but you may not continue until you finish doing so. When you are not on Earth, you are allowed to ask locals for help, so long as you have them sign release forms that allow the footage to be used. Teams are free to work with one another at any point, unless we say you can't because of the rules. You are prohibited from hindering other teams' performance, unless you get to certain points on the route.
"In any task that we give you equipment, tools, or animals for, you are not allowed to change tools mid-task. If a rental car you may use breaks down, we will provide another one, but we will not compensate for any time lost. You will be prohibited from bringing any sort of currency with you. We will provide you with currency. You are not allowed to barter personal belongings for services. However, you are permitted to trade personal belongings for money. We may go through your bags at Pit Stops to take inventory and make sure you aren't stealing anything.
"You will be given a fanny pack. You are expected to carry your money, clues, and other required items inside at all times. If you lose any non-mandatory items, you will proceed without them. You are forbidden from touching other teams' belongings. You will not smoke for the duration of the race. You will abide by all local laws. You are only allowed to book one travel itinerary when possible.
"We expect you to follow these rules, as well as the ones we will disclose later. You will be expected to attend a sort of training in two weeks. Just something that happens. Any questions?"
Nobody answered.
"Yeah, I expected as much." John cleared his throat. "Well, that's all for today. Oh yeah, and feel free to tell everyone you know. We're filming this season live, so you don't need to worry about spoiling anything."
There were a few chuckles from the crowd, and John smiled.
Over the next few minutes, the crowd stood up and left, except for one team. The remaining team consisted of an imp and a hellhound. John spoke into the mic.
"I assume you're Team 17?"
The imp looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. John sighed.
"Silence tells a lot more than words or actions. Silence can tell a story, reveal emotion. Yet, somehow I see nothing more than surprise. You… weren't expecting to get picked, were you?"
The imp slowly nodded. John chuckled.
"Good. Well, I have things to do, so it looks like you're my transportation for now."
The imp blinked in surprise, and the hellhound looked up.
"Uh, I have a press conference in Hell. Sorta needed someone to take me there, and my boss is useless in that department."
John jumped off the stage, and walked toward the team. He held out his left hand for the imp to shake.
"John Doe, but you probably knew that already."
The imp hesitantly shook his hand.
"Blitz. The O is silent."
"Hmm." John turned to the hellhound. "I assume you are Loona, then?"
Loona raised an eyebrow in response. John tapped the paper.
"Names of the team members."
Loona sighed, and John turned back to Blitzo.
"So, shall we head out?"