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The compound is destroyed, shattered to pieces. But not as broken as your heart. And as you stood there looking at the army of Thanos and your small group, you knew that all of you would die trying. Still, at the back of your mind, at least you will be with her and would not have to endure the pain of living without Natasha.
It has not been long since you returned from your mission to gather all the stones back so you can bring back half the universe, and it also hasn't been long since you lost Natasha at Vormir. Being reminded of it brought tears to your eyes, and you realized that Nat would want you to fight. So you prepared yourself as if preparing for your funeral, your heart suddenly pounding harder and your vision blurry from the unshed tears. Then you heard a little static, realizing it was Sam's voice through your comms. And you saw your friends coming out of different portals with determination burning through their eyes and desire to win radiating from their every shout. And then you saw her, a glimpse of her red hair and her emerald eyes tinged with a bit of confusion but nonetheless determined. Your knees suddenly felt weak. How can she be here? You thought to yourself, you saw her lifeless body with your own eyes. Was Bruce able to bring her back?
The tension in the air is so thick it can be cut by a knife. A few minutes ago, you were making jokes with Natasha as you walked towards where the stone is. Now both of you are sitting beside each other on the ground after knowing the price of the stone. She was looking somewhere far away, her brows furrowed a little, and her lips were pressed into a thin line. And you were looking at her trying to take in everything about the feature of her face. "I don't even know why we're still sitting here" you said, breaking the silence. You kneeled in front of her, your hand taking hers and the other placed on her cheek.
"The two of us know that you need to stay alive. Yelena will be waiting for you".
And that's when you felt your cheeks wet with your tears pouring from your eyes that are still locked with hers that are now moist with tears she's trying to fight from falling.
"I have been preparing for this day for five years. We can bring everyone back." Natasha's voice filled with more determination than ever.
"Don't be a pain in my ass" you whispered with a smile tugging in your lips, then you kissed her forehead. "I love you, and I can't let you jump there," you said before pulling her to the ground and running towards the cliff. And when you were about to jump, you felt her latch something by your waist, which you realized was a rope. Instead of you falling, the two of you were hanging by the cliff with you holding to her arm and Natasha asking you to let go. And with a last smile to you, her voice was filled with love as she assured you. "It's okay, I'll see you in another life, and I will love you all the same" then she jumped. The last thing you saw was her lifeless body before waking up, holding the soul stone that cost you the love of your life.
After everyone was assembled and was already fighting, you never had a chance to see Natasha again. You were worried that it was just a figment of your imagination. But then you saw her again with your other friends trying to protect Peter, and you locked eyes with her, and she gave you a smile. Despite fighting your way through Thanos's army together with the other female avengers, your eyes were only set on Natasha. And the crumbled compound with blood everywhere was just a blur. The voices were nothing but white noise. And the next thing you knew was Tony sacrificing himself and Thanos with his army dissipating.
The battle was done. Whether you won or lost is uncertain. And with the avengers compound being a wreck, you resided with the Bartons, where Natasha stays as well. You couldn't bring yourself to talk to her, ask her. You could not blame Natasha as well. She could be mad at you, but what really bothers you is that she feels different, and she was acting as if you were nothing more than a friend. But that did not stop you from breaking as you keep seeing her but not being able to be comforted by her touch, lulled by her voice, and just be with her. So one day, when the Bartons were outside, you decided that you would have to talk to her while the both of you were cleaning up in the kitchen and no one else around.
"I'm sorry, I left you in Vormir" your throat suddenly felt strained.
Natasha looked at you with a bit of confusion in her eyes, her eyes raised a little, and she was biting her plump lip. Which led you to think to yourself if she suddenly got nervous. And the realization came to you as if suddenly able to breathe after being drowned. "You're not my Nat" you looked at her intently, and she just gave you that charming grin of hers. "I can't believe you're the first one to notice. I guess no point in hiding" that response from hers made you almost stumble and your eyes wide with your mouth agape. "Please explain" was the first stupid word you came up with.
Later that day, she explained everything with the watcher and the other universe thing with Ultron. It's almost unbelievable, but you just fought a giant purple monster alongside wizards and god, so you believed her. After that day, it was a bit easier to talk with her. You have an inkling that the two of you are not together in her universe, so you did not bring that up, Clint and Laura are confused, of course, but they trust you and Natasha.
Tony's funeral came, and the atmosphere was somber. You were standing by the lake when Wanda came, and you knew that she was also grieving, so you give her the silence she might need. "I wish I could tell him we won," she said, breaking the silence. You added "he knows," but in your mind, you wanted to say that "they" know, referring to Vision and your Nat. After a while, Wanda left, giving you a silent nod. Natasha stood beside you, and you already felt calm by her presence alone.
"What are we? in this universe. I mean you and the Natasha of this universe," the woman beside you asked while not letting her eyes leave the lake ahead. "we shared a life together. We were each other's best friends and lovers," you said, looking at her.
"I figured" that was the only answer she gave you. So you asked her back. "What about you and the y/n of your universe?"
"Oh, I had romantic feelings that I was never able to say, but it was unrequited." she shrugged. Typical Romanoff shrug, you thought.
In an attempt to make the situation feel lighter, you joked, "knowing myself, I'm sure she feels the same, just got scared." You looked at her eyes, and she looked back at you, and you felt the same warmth and affection from her eyes. And you already swear that she may not be the Natasha you knew, but you'll protect her in this or another.