Chapter Text
What The Fuck.
So I'm a teenager? Again? Or am I just having some kind of hallucination? Uhh, hmm.
Ok back it all up, what's the last thing I remember?
I'm Sarah Kitson, 57 years old, spinster extraordinaire, very happily single thank you very much, and a bit of a hermit. I had my little house in the mountains on the east coast of Australia, well the foothills. Just me and the wildlife and a peaceful life away from the rush. I get along well with my neighbours, in a manner of speaking. Well enough, considering they live about a kilometre away.
What was the last thing I remember? Uhh, gardening? Right, I watered the garden this morning, and there were some tomatoes to pick like always. Hmm. Oh, right. My arthritis was acting up... no. Well, in a way. My joints were sore, so I layed down for a rest. There was a tingling in my left arm, that's right. Then I felt that pinch or something, in the back of my head.
I'm pretty sure I died. A stroke? Well that wasn't too unexpected I guess. Youthful wildness came back to get me in the end I suppose.
But then I came to at the bottom of some stairs. Which makes no sense, my house is all one level.
Apparently I'd fallen? Or someone had fallen? Lauren? I don't know a Lauren? But some woman was calling that name in a bit of a panic, and apparently she was talking about me, or to me, or something.
I'm pretty sure when you die you don't become a teenager again. Or maybe reincarnation is a thing?
Well either it's gone horribly wrong somehow, or maybe when she (I?) fell down those stairs it knocked memories of a past life into my consciousness? But I'm pretty sure I'd still remember a life as this Lauren girl if that were the case. Maybe?
Or maybe she died when she fell down those stairs, but this life wasn't supposed to end yet, so whatever controls reincarnations just stuffed whatever spirit they could find into the body? And that was me?
I suppose I can't complain too much, I mean I get to live again. I'm a teenaged girl again, instead of a dead old woman with arthritis. Well, I wasn't dead, but then I think I died. Oh pooh, I know what I mean.
Right, so I guess either I'm having some strange coma dream or something; in which case I might as well just enjoy it while it lasts. Or I died and this is my life now; in which case I might as well just enjoy it while it lasts.
Well, I guess that's simple enough.
Also now I'm in a hospital apparently. Oh right, I blacked out. I guess falling down stairs will do that. Can you black out in dreams? I thought they were just strange time skips that you don't even notice?
Maybe this is real. Huh.
So apparently I'm now some teenaged girl named Lauren. I suppose that other woman was my mum? I don't know if I have a middle name, or what my last name is. Do I have a father? Well, obviously, but is he around? Siblings? I guess I'll just have to learn. At least falling down stairs gives me the excuse of amnesia, I suppose.
Oh, here comes the doctor. Wow he's pretty.
-----
I'm Lauren Mallory, no middle name, and I'm seventeen. Apparently I'm USAnian, or 'American' as the USAnian's call themselves. Which is different. Oh, and I have amnesia; at least that's my story, and I'm sticking with it.
My mum, or 'mom' I guess, is Karen, she's a single mother. My father apparently ran off when she told him she was pregnant with me, arsehole. So it's just the two of us. She has a decent job as a secretary slash paralegal for this town's only lawyer, so we're fairly comfortable.
Apparently comfortable enough that this country's messed up medical system won't end up costing us the house just because I'm in hospital. So that's equal parts horrifying and reassuring.
We live in Forks, Washington. Which is this little town in the middle of a forest. Which is nice actually, it's almost like home. Though I guess it snows here in winter, which is... cool, I guess. I haven't seen snow since the eighties. It's 2006, that means Lauren-me was barely even born in the eighties. That's odd.
Sarah-me died in 2025, so that's really odd.
One part of me wonders if Sarah-me is still alive somewhere, but I have a sneaking suspicion I might not even be in the same universe. Just some vague clues here and there. I'm still in the hospital, so it's not as though I can go online and look myself up. If that's even possible in 2006.
Also, I'm pretty sure the doctor is a vampire.
-----
So I'm 'home'. New home that is, Karen and before-Lauren's place. I suppose that's "Mom and I" now. It's a fairly nice place, a bit bland though. Like, it's nice and clean and neat, and well decorated etc. But there's no character to it. 'My room' isn't much better. I have no idea who these boy bands are.
Also I start sentences with 'Like' now. Because apparently I speak weirdly, with some kind of weird Australian-American accent mix and odd phrasing. So I'm trying to sound more like an American teenager. Saying 'like' a lot is 'a thing' right?
Also I shouldn't say fuck so much. Which I didn't think I did, but maybe that's just because I've been living in my head mostly, and I don't tend to swear at myself as much as others.
I get a week at home to "get settled back in" as the doctor who's probably a vampire said. I still have heaps, err... a bunch? Like, a lot of appointments at the hospital though. Because amnesia basically. Then I get to go back to school, urgh. American high school. I wonder if it's as fucked up as the movies make it out to be.
And what the fuck is a Junior?
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Junior means year eleven apparently, or grade eleven, eleventh grade? Basically it's what would be the first senior year back home. Or I suppose I shouldn't say that, because this is home now. Whatever.
Whatever is apparently also a thing American teenagers say. I'll get the hang of this eventually. Maybe.
Anyway, I now know what Junior means because some friends visited. And now I'm pretty certain the doctor is a vampire, because I just spent an hour 'hanging out' with Angela Webber and Jessica Stanley.
Angela seems like a nice quiet girl. I probably shouldn't call her a girl actually, she's a month older than me. But I'm pretty sure we'll 'stay' friends. Jessica I'm not sure about, though she might grow on me. Maybe.
But like, oh my god, she had all the gossip about everything ever. Really, that's how she speaks. I think I might have missed a couple of years of her retelling the history of our friendship while I was recovering from the idea that someone actually speaks that way.
However I now have a bit of before-Lauren now Lauren-me's history. So that's a plus.
But now it seems I've crossed over into the universe of some young adult novels. I read them about twenty years ago, and only recall a vague idea of the plot. Basically lonely girl meets grouchy vampire, they fall in love at some point, and then proceed to fuck everything up repeatedly including themselves, including almost getting their family killed a couple of times. But then they all live happily ever after, as vampires.
Well, except the dead ones. But I think it's mostly arseholes that die actually, maybe.
Actually, wasn't the author some white supremicist christian nutcase? I seem to recall the story was shit but the universe it happened in was interesting.
Huh, "may you live in interesting times (or universes)."
Maybe I'm cursed.
-----
It's four o'clock in the morning and I just woke up screaming. Because I remembered there's a bunch of angry werewolves down by the coast, so I am never going to the beach ever.
Actually, are they really arseholes, or did the author just write the 'dirty redskins' as 'angry savages'. Maybe they're actually decent folk.
I still don't like the idea of giant wolves though.
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Ok, it's day four in this house and I refuse to even consider trying coffee again. It's as disgusting in this life as it was in the last, and I'm not drinking it. I'd like some tea, we do not have tea. I should fix this.
I mentioned at breakfast that I might walk into town and explore a bit. Mum, or 'mom' I guess, pointed out that I have a car and should drive. I could walk from one end of this town to the other in ten minutes, why the fuck would I drive.
Also, the steering wheel's on the wrong side.
I just said I don't remember how, so now she's apparently giving me a driving lesson on the weekend. I guess that's a good thing? Not like I drove much before. Come to think of it, this is the first time I've owned a car. Urgh, fumes.
In any case I'm walking today, and I'm buying tea. Also some proper milk, this cow milk is disgusting. Hopefully they have soy or oat or something. Or maybe I can at least get some oats and make oat milk? We'll see. Worst case scenario, I get green tea and some lemons.
Now onto the next problem: Clothes.
I've just been dagging around the house for the past few days, so trackpants, t-shirts, and slippers have been my clothing of choice. But I seriously doubt any teenage girl is going to walk into town without making some kind of effort. I certainly wouldn't have last time I was this age.
Even fifty-something me at least kept a few decent non-gardening skirts for going to the shops in.
Which brings me to before-Lauren's wardrobe. I've not really looked through it much until now, and just... sigh. Apparently she (now I) was the kind of girl who like to 'show off her assets' so to speak. Having a body in decent shape is at least a plus, but... no. So there's a selection of low-cut tops, short skirts, and pants so tight I've no idea how to get into them. Also it's cold outside, even though it's apparently spring.
Come to think of it, how did she manage to stay in shape if she apparently drove everywhere?
Anyway, a bit of digging turns up a pair of tights, the longest of the skirts (still mid-thigh), plus a top with some embroidered lace for a collar, and ballet flats will do. Actually, skip the ballet flats, it might rain. Sneakers wouldn't really go with this so I'm hunting through a swarm of shoes looking for something with a low heel.
Ancestors forgive me, I've become a teenage girl with nothing to wear.
Eventually I find some ankle boots that'll do, and after stuffing some essentials into a backpack, because of course I don't have pockets, I lock the house up and head on out to explore Forks.
Yes I brought an umbrella, rain is what this place is famous for, or infamous for at least.
-----
So maybe ten minutes to get from one end to the other wasn't right, it's actually not that tiny a town. Maybe twenty minutes. It's actually a nice little place, if you like small-ish towns with not too many people. Which I do.
It took me about fifteen minutes to find the main street with shops and such. Don't USAnians call this some kind of mall? I think anything with shops is a kind of mall, maybe. I know a shopping centre is a mall. Anyway, it's the shops. Or is it stores? Whatever.
Anyway there was a couple of touristy looking shops that I avoided, but otherwise there was a nice little mix. And there's an art supply, hurrah! I suck at art, but sometimes I get into the mood for crafty things, so it's nice to know I can get paint and glue nearby if the mood takes me. Also there's sewing supplies, so I can make some clothes again! This is great, as I'd surely die if I had to live in shop-bought pocketless nonsense forever. And I'm pretty sure etsy isn't a thing yet.
Come to think of it, I don't even know if we have a computer. There certainly isn't one in my room. I should really explore the house some, instead of just hiding in my room.
So I ended up spending an hour in the sewing shop, and came out with some basics to get me started (needles, thread, scissors, tape measure), along with a few metres of fabric. They had cotton, they did not have linen. I guess you win some you lose some.
-----
One decidedly good thing about this new life is that I've been walking around town for several hours now, and I have no aches or pains or anything. Also teenage energy is apparently inexhaustable, I had to remind myself to stop for lunch, because I wasn't worn out and in need of calories. I guess I'm just in need of calories, but without the exhausted part. I could get used to this.
Speaking of food though, I'd heard of how big meals were in this country, but didn't quite believe it till I ordered a chicken salad and was served a bowl big enough to feed a family of twelve for a week. Ok maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but seriously it's a lot of salad. Hopefully they'll let me take some home, it'll do for lunch tomorrow.
Also, apparently Forks options for eating out are pizza, some fancy-ish combination steakhouse and chinese restaurant that probably just does high school dates and weddings, and the diner. The diner has the giant salad bowls.
Perhaps I've only just noticed now that I'm sitting still, but it feels like the entire town is staring at me. I guess amnesia is big news here. And there was a cop that stopped by my table to see how I was doing who seemed nice enough, but it wasn't till after he'd left that I realised that was Charlie Swan, and then had another Oh Fuck I'm In Twilight moment.
-----
I'm in the grocery store, it's not a shop. There's a lot of crap in here I'm not even sure actually counts as edible, but they also have some fresh fruit and veg, so it's not so bad.
Also there's a vampire buying capsicums, or peppers, bell peppers? There's a vampire buying bell peppers. Why the fuck would a vampire buy bell peppers? I sort of froze for a moment, then she said hello to me, and I said hi back, and then I just internally freaked out for a moment over talking with a vampire who's buying bell peppers.
I guess this is the mu... mom of the pack, coven, family, whatever. She seems nice.
I found soy milk, there was a single bottle of long-life stuff on a shelf, and so I claimed it. I also found tea, there were two options for tea bags, so I bought both having no idea about brands here. Also they have powdered tea, what the fuck is with that? I just stared at the plastic tub jar things of it for like a minute, mind completely boggled. It was almost weirder than a vampire buying bell peppers.
-----
Having had enough of just everything for one day, I went home and added pockets to the side seams of my one good skirt. A little familiarity was just what I needed.
Mu... mom came home to find me hand sewing in the lounge room with the tv on. I've no idea what was on the tv, I just wanted background noise. But then she asked me when I learnt to sew, and I just blinked at her because how the fuck was I meant to answer that?
-----
I'm actually feeling younger. I only just realised this, and I think it's part of what's had me feeling odd since waking up to this life. I mean I probably should have expected it, seeing as I'm forty years younger than I was a couple of weeks ago. But still, I didn't expect it.
Maybe it's this endless teenage energy.
I actually did star jumps in the lounge room to try to wear myself out, but I got to over a hundred and wasn't tired at all. I mean, I was a bit breathless and needed a shower, sure. But it was far from that needing a nap almost sixty with arthritis kind of exhausted.
I like it. Especially now that I can put a name to part of what's had me feeling off.
No fucking way I'm telling the therapist that though. Maybe I can come up with something else to say.
-----
I mention the therapist because I just saw her.
I didn't say anything about being forty years younger, or in a different universe. Definitely didn't mention vampires buying bell peppers. I did say that I realised part of feeling off was I seem more energetic than I expected for some reason.
Also I asked what was up with powdered tea, but she doesn't drink tea so had no idea. Then we spent several minutes discussing why powdered tea confused me so much. Really, I've got no idea, it's just weird.
My appointments with her are at the hospital, just in case I need sedating or commiting or something I suppose. But anyway I left via the emergency room, and while I was walking through there I saw a vampire bandaging a guy that was bleeding like all fuck.
This life is weird.
-----
Also apparently I have to go to school tomorrow, Friday. Not like normal with classes and everything, but just for a few hours in the morning to sit some tests. The doctors, it seems, have decided some testing would be helpful in seeing if my amnesia has had an effect on my academic abilities.
It also means the school can adjust my schedule if necessary. Which is probably a good thing as I have no idea what before-Lauren's schedule was like. Apparently I'm not being given any clues either, as the tests are as much for the doctors as for the school.
So I'm trying to turn this cotton I bought into something to wear tomorrow that isn't too short, or tight, or low.
Yes mostly I'm just hiding and pouting. Also kind of worried, because I haven't been to school in forty years, who knows what I've forgotten.
-----
The good news is I finished the skirt and top last night, so I had something to wear to the school. The bad news is that I had to go to school.
Some of the subjects I had no clue about, like government. My knowledge of the US government comes from movies and social media. Neither of which are particularly accurate sources. Also I only have a vague understanding of US history, as much as for any country. Maybe I did better in world history, maybe.
Also I've no idea how much of that maths I was supposed to know. I think I've forgotten more than I ever knew, and I was never that good with it to start with.
Oh, math not maths. It's singular here apparently.
I think I did ok in English and the sciences, I at least kept up with some idea on most of that just out of interest.
-----
I've discovered a few things this afternoon. Firstly, this chicken salad is still good two days after buying it, and that worries me for some reason.
More importantly though, we do have a computer, with internet access. I'd forgotten how big old computer monitors were. Also how slow computers used to be. Also I haven't used Windows in like thirty years, and it's entirely possible this is the same version as I last used.
However, it turns out that both etsy and youtube exist, hurrah. But etsy is tiny, and youtube is basically just cat videos. I mean, that last one's not unusual. But none of the crafting and making and sewing channels are on there yet. This sucks, though at least I don't have to wade through clickbait and influencers.
I wonder if history bounding is a thing yet. Probably not, considering I'm pretty sure the term was coined by a youtuber that doesn't exist yet. Maybe I shouldn't use the term, leave it to be invented naturally.
Though I'm also tempted to start a sewing youtube channel and then invent the term myself. Hmm.
-----
It seems mom has decided my interesting in sewing is a good thing. Apparently it's just a development or twist or something on before-Lauren's interest in clothing, even though our tastes are different. She's been seeing a therapist as well, because she has a daughter with amnesia, and is learning to embrace the changes in her, meaning me.
Anyway, this is why my driving lesson with her has turned into my driving us both to Port Angeles. We're going to get lunch together, then she's taking me to first buy some clothes to suit my changed tastes (she seems relieved), and then to a big sewing and fabric shop that I might like. Well, bigger than the one in Forks anyway.
I'd still rather take a bus than drive, but apparently there isn't one.
-----
Lunch was one of those 'fuck it, chips!' moments, except they're called fries here. Apparently the trick to getting a smaller meal in the US is to only order one thing, then you only get one meal instead of twelve. Yes I'm exaggerating again. Kind of. That chicken salad lasted way longer than is natural.
About half way through the chi... fries though, I realised I'll probably never find a fish and chip shop anywhere in this country, and honestly that's more depressing than having to go to high school.
Clothes shopping was an adventure. I know I said I feel younger, but I still had to consciously work on not trying to dress like a fifty-something from another country. However I found several long floaty skirts that I could add pockets to at some point, and some nice blouses that weren't just boob frames.
Still a little lower cut than I'm used to though, because I am a teenager again, so I might as well show a bit of cleavage before everything heads south. Also I may have gone overboard buying tights. I don't care what anyone says, I like tights.
I need to check for when jeggings come into fashion though, so I can burn them all. Just no.
I also have two new pairs of chunky heeled boots, low-heel and mid-heel. Because apparently I'm young enough to walk around in two or three inch heels all day without being crippled for a week. So I'm taking advantage of it.
Before-Lauren has four inch heels in her, my, closet, and just no. I mean I could probably wear them without problems, but I'm keeping them to special occasions, not daily, because urgh.
Also, Alice bands, because I want more options for this hair than what a handful of elastics can give.
Actually, isn't Alice one of the vampires? I wonder if she wears them. She might even be old enough to have invented them. Huh.
Besides, I bought some ribbon at the sewing slash fabric store, that'll give me some more options, that and fabric tape.
It's kind of weird being blonde though, naturally at least. I tried it once in my old life and it just didn't suit me, so now I'm trying to style things with a hair colour I have no idea about. It's lovely and thick and soft though.
Speaking of the fabric store. Oooooohhhhh. It's about four times the size of the one in Forks, which still isn't huge, but there is so much to look through! Being the responsible former adult that I am, I immediately considered buying a hundred metres of everything.
Mom however, took one look at whatever look was on my face, and immediately restricted me to a budget. I complained, but then found the linen racks and was lost to the rest of the world.
Some time later, it was dark outside, and mom and I were both weighed down with linen, cotton, muslin, wool that I'd bought with before-Lauren's savings, some tailor's canvas, a little lace, and a nice stock of cotton and linen thread and pattern paper that I'd used to beg for a slight stretch of the budget because I'm starting from scratch. Plus there was the aforementioned ribbon and fabric tape, of course.
Being completely spent out and loaded down, we got dinner from some hole-in-the-wall burrito place that I'd probably never find again, then headed home.
Halfway home I realised I don't have a cutting table, and only a tiny desk in my room. Oh well, it wouldn't be the first time I'd worked on the floor, and at least I had the flexibility for it now.
-----
The internet is a wonderous thing! There is a single fish and chip shop, and it's in Seattle. I don't care what it takes, I'm finding an excuse to go there that mom will accept, and soon.
Needing to come up with reasonable explanations for going somewhere sucks though, I should go on a grand rebelious teenage rampage or something. Actually, when is my birthday, I can't be that far off eighteen, surely.
-----
Ok, so I'm not eighteen till november. That's a bit of a downer. Though I suppose running off to Seattle for fish and chips the moment I turn eighteen would be just a bit ridiculous.
Anyone would think I was a teenager or something.
-----
Among Things I Didn't Know is that the coming week is Spring Break. So I get a week off school for bashing my head in, then a week off for spring break, and then I have to go to school. I'm trying to decide if I'm upset at not being told this sooner, or just glad I get another week off school.
On the plus side, both of the teas I bought are acceptable, so mornings are much nicer now.
I should get a teapot.
-----
There are no teapots on etsy in 2006, apparently.
However there is a bangle on there that former-me bought ages ago. It's a one-off, one of a kind, it has to be the same bangle. Do USAnians say bangle? Or is it something else like wrist... bobbin, or something. I don't know.
I do know however that I want it. So I'm creating myself a paypal account so I can grab it before other-me does. That's if that me exists in this universe. I haven't found any traces of me from searching the web.
Whatever, that bangle is mine. Wait, what's the address here?
-----
Ok, so I ended up walking down the street to find a street sign, and checked the number on the mail box. Then when I got back I realised there's an electricity bill on the kitchen table and I could have just read that.
It's fine, I needed the walk anyway.
-----
Angela came around again this morning, and we 'hung out' on the first day of the spring break I only just heard about. She was fascinated by my sewing and that I was hand stitching everything. I don't even know if we have a sewing machine, but eww, I'll stick with hand stitching even if we do.
So to make a long story short, Jessica thinks I'm weird now, and has told everyone at school that I'm mentally handicapped or something. I guess she's the new queen bitch now that before-Lauren's gone.
Anyway, Angela is nice and I convinced her to try hand sewing with me. So we both spent the day just chatting and getting reacquinted while adding pockets to our skirts.
I'm pretty sure talking a girl out of her skirt the second time I meet her means I'm still bi. That's definitely how it works.
On the other hand, she's straight, I have the worst luck.
But I'm definitely not going to underestimate the value of a good friend.
-----
I ended up spending the rest of spring break avoiding vampires and werewolves. Which sounds way more exciting than it actually is, because I basically just stayed home.
Though I have started going for a walk around the block each morning, as I don't want to have that fat phase of my twenties and thirties again. I might work up to running, maybe.
I wouldn't hold your breath on that.
However I also set out to make two new floor length canvas interfaced skirts. Because if you've never had a properly made historically styled skirt you simply haven't lived.
Trying to pattern a skirt from memory, without a dress form, and with a body I was only just starting to get used to was a bit of a mess. So I ended up with a fair bit of wasted pattern paper and muslin, and it took me several days to get to the point of something that'd work. But once I had a workable mockup I was able to get the skirts together as quick as ever.
Actually I did two in half the time I used to do one in. Turns out hand sewing is easier without arthritis, who knew?
-----
So monday morning I walked to school. No I'm not driving somewhere that's a ten minute walk away. And felt immediately vindicated as I walked past the traffic jam from kids, other kids, trying to get into the student car park, or parking lot. Whatever.
I didn't actually go to class though. Instead I spent most of the morning with the guidance councilor rearranging my schedule to suit me based on the tests I took the other week.
Apparently I really sucked at maths. Math.
On the other hand, I managed to get into home ec, or 'life skills', because hell if I'm missing out on sewing at school if I can.
I'd also almost failed English, until they realised I was using standard English instead of US English for my spelling. That apparently caused a bit of confusion. I offered to study the dictionary, but was assured I'd "pick it back up soon enough."
Also I'd been exempted from gym, because no one wanted me getting smacked in the head with a ball or something.
So I ended up with a not too horrible class schedule, then had to sign a form to let them cut the lock off my locker. I had no idea what the combination was, obviously.
Once I had a new lock, and sorted my locker out, I followed the map to my last class before lunch. My first high school class in over forty years. It was Life Skills, in the sewing room, how's my luck right?
I thanked whatever goddess or ancestor set that up, and knocked on the door only slightly late.
The teacher who opened the door asked if I was lost.
-----
Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched. I was definitely being watched, or stared at more like. I was the amnesia girl, who forgot everything.
The sewing teacher had dealt with it by having me stand on a low stool and just letting them stare, but with direction. The entire class turned into a discussion on my hand stitched skirt. It was actually kind of fun.
Now, however I was standing in the lunch room, cafeteria? I'm not actually sure what it was called. But I was standing there, with The Entire School staring at me. Fortunately Angela rescued my from being melted by their gazes, and pulled me over to the lunch line.
I quickly discovered I'd be bringing a packed lunch in future.
I ended up sitting with her and a couple of others who I apparently used to know. Before me was a tray of something fried that might have once been near a potato, and a bottle of lemonade.
I was still being stared at, so I stared back. Some looked away, but some offered what I guess was meant to be an encouraging smile. A few came over to say hi and see how I was doing. I forgot their names instantly.
In an out of the way corner sat five vampires and one human girl. Bella Swan had a cast on her leg, I noted as my eyes drifted over them. Right, she was chased from a baseball match or something. Some nomad had hunted her down and messed her up a bit. Yeah, that was kind of a big thing. Wasn't she bitten or something?
Then I noticed the frown on the copper-haired boy beside her. What is he....
oh.
OH.
FUCK.
I can't believe I forgot one of them can read minds. Fuck. I haven't thought of anything too incriminating have I? Shit, don't think about vampires whatever you do.
FUCK.
Anyway, that's how I spent my first high school lunch hiding in a toilet.