Chapter Text
To say you were livid was an understatement.
Your eyes burned and your fists clenched at the scene flashing on your computer screen. There he was, Xiao in all of his magnificent glory bleeding out on the end of Zhongli’s spear. Your Xiao-the Xiao you spent hundreds of dollars whaling on to stack constellations and weapon refinements was lying motionless on the ground. His mask was cracked and a black substance oozed down his face. The dreamy amber eyes you had spent countless hours staring into were now dull and lifeless. His spear had fallen out of his hand. The image of his pained and tragic expression replayed over and over in your head.
You refused to believe it.
This was just a classic favorite character tricking everyone into thinking they’ve died scene. No way Xiao was dead. Zhongli wouldn’t kill his only remaining Yaksha. Mihoyo wouldn’t kill off the character who fueled the spirits of the entire fandom. No way. Daring to let your hopes up, you leaned further into your screen and blinked away the beading tears. Please get up. Please get up. Please get up.
Your breath hitched when you noticed movement on the screen. Zhongli pulled his spear out of Xiao’s chest and kneeled next to him. You barely held back a snarl as his hand stretched down to brush Xiao’s hair out of his face. Despite the terrible thing Zhongli had done, his eyes were full of grief, and you could’ve sworn you’d seen a tear roll down his cheek before he quickly turned away from Xiao, dissipating in a cloud of golden dust. Okay, Zhongli left. Here’s where Xiao makes his comeback. Seconds passed. A depressing piano piece began to play. Time sped up as the sun rose. Credits rolled. Large words appeared in the middle of the screen. The Fall of the Final Yaksha.
“No, no, no! No, this isn’t happening!” You frantically clicked off the game and pulled open Google. Biting your lip as you typed in your question, you felt your stomach drop at the search results. Twitter was already on fire and countless Xiao stans were begging for answers on Reddit. You clicked on the Genshin Impact wiki and reeled back in shock. Xiao’s character details had already been rewritten to past tense, and it had only been half an hour since the latest update went live with the Yaksha’s death.
The Yaksha’s death. No, Xiao wasn’t dead. You needed answers. Your vision was already blurry and you felt sick to your stomach. With the community so enraged, surely a developer or two would have confirmed that Xiao didn’t die. You scrolled down the search page and clicked on a post made on HoYoLab. Sure enough, the username belonged to a head developer of Genshin Impact. The sentence you saw next felt like a slap to the face.
We are sad to confirm the death of Xiao, a popular and beloved character in Genshin Impact. To fit the lore, we will be removing the character from the game. Any primogems and genesis crystals spent during his banners will not be refunded. We thank you for your support and ask that you participate in Zhongli’s rerun! Zhongli will be receiving numerous buffs to make up for Xiao’s absence…
A flash of rage left your screen shattered and covered in blood. You felt too numb to feel the cuts along your knuckles. You clicked back to the game and stared at Xiao. Hours you spent grinding level up materials and artifacts to strengthen Xiao. Hours you spent writing cheesy fanfics with Xiao as the main romantic interest. Hours you spent diving into his lore and listening to his voice lines.
“It's too late. The connection between us is too strong. Even if you wanted to, it's too late to sever it. Hm? You've never thought to sever it?”
“Of course not, Xiao!” You hiccuped as tears rolled down your cheeks. “I never wanted this… I never thought… I wish I could’ve done something…” You rested your head on your keyboard and cried silently, ignoring the glass cutting into your arms. Your eyelids wearily lowered, and you slipped off to sleep, Xiao’s body still glowing on the cracked screen. Time went much faster in the game; the sun quickly set and the moon rose. Stars appeared behind the clouds and twinkled, forming dozens of constellations.
One star shined brighter than others. It floated just overhead from Xiao. The words on the screen, “The Death of the Final Yaksha,” rearranged to form “I wish I could’ve done something.” A red timer appeared and a voice frighteningly resembling Paimon’s rang from the screen.
“Would you like to spend 1600 primogems on the player banner, ‘I wish I could’ve done something’? Auto accepts in ten seconds!”
You continued to snore away, occasionally muttering Xiao’s name as the timer ticked.
“Seven!”
You shifted in your sleep, wincing at the glass still cutting into your arms.
“Four!”
You could’ve sworn that was Paimon waving at you in your dream.
“One!”
The star gleamed in brilliant gold. The screen flashed and replaced the previous scenery with a galaxy. A floating mass shone in the distance, almost resembling a very mysterious land you’d once seen in the sky while traveling Teyvat with Xiao.
“What the…?” You groggily sat up and stared at the screen in confusion, only to immediately fall back on your desk. Your eyes widened in alarm but you couldn’t move. A sudden wave of agonizing pain washed over you and you fought back the urge to retch all over your keyboard.
“Congratulations! You’ve won the fifty-fifty and have earned the six-star wish on the player banner, ‘I wish I could’ve done something.’ Now being teleported to Teyvat, please don’t fight it. Possible consequences include seizures and even death!”
“P-Paimon…?” You mumbled, recognizing the squeaky voice, then proceeded to pass out.
You woke with a start to the sound of morning birdsong. You leaned to the side of your bed to reach for your phone. You needed your daily dose of dopamine by looking at cat videos on YouTube, and desperately too. You had a pounding headache threatening to drown out your other senses, and you had a strange dream last night you could hardly remember but swore it was the worst nightmare of your life. You felt your hand grab at the air. Weird. I thought I left my phone on my nightstand last night.
You tiredly opened your eyes and stared up at the sky. Weird. Where was your ceiling? Wait, where was your ceiling? You pushed yourself up and took a deep breath as you looked around yourself. You were in the middle of a forest, and your bed wasn’t beneath you. You were sitting in a pile of leaves. You were alarmed by several things.
One, where were you? Two, what happened last night? Three, you’re sitting in a pile of leaves. As if by cue, you noticed a tiny spider making its way up to your arm. You blinked. Three seconds pass.
“Get off, get off, get off!” You shrieked. Your screams filled the forest as you danced around swatting at your arm. You felt your ankle get caught on a tree root and you fell onto your ass. You would’ve been embarrassed if it wasn’t for the fact you were in the middle of a forest. Forests were full of bugs and you had no idea how to get home. You got back to your feet in a hurry, not risking letting any bugs crawl up your legs again.
You breathed in and out then tried to think logically after you got your fear under control. You could only come up with one theory, and it was frighteningly the only feasible explanation. You’d been kidnapped in the middle of the night and dropped off in the woods, probably left as a sick joke for some weirdo to hunt you down for sport.
The thought sent shivers down your spine as you crossed and rubbed your arms. You felt the hair along your neck raise when you realized how quiet it had gotten. The birds had long since left and you were the only living thing in sight. You wanted to run and call out for help, but the possibility of a crazy murderer kidnapper made you hold your tongue. So you studied your surroundings. You remembered reading some shitty survival guide about always going north if you were lost. So, the sun sets in the east, then that’s north, or was it the west? But if it’s east I’m just going to get more lost…
Whatever. Surely there were some sane people in whatever direction you took, preferably with a car willing to take you home, or better yet, the police. You managed to take one step before your headache made you double over. Your vision faded in and out and you staggered to the ground before groaning in pain. You kneaded your temples and tried to steady your breathing. Your consciousness flickered and you felt your fingers brush against something hard in your hair close to your forehead, but you didn’t get the chance to investigate. The pain was unbearable.
“I need my pills…” You moaned before giving in to the agony. You were out before two voices came into earshot.
“The map here says we need to pass through this forest to get to Dihua Marsh.”
“No, you’re reading it wrong! Let Paimon lead the way! Paimon is supposed to be your guide!”
“The last time you held the map you dropped it in a river.”
“That was because Paimon was hungry! Paimon loses grip strength when Paimon is hungry. At least Paimon doesn’t get us lost.”
“I’d rather get lost than spend another ten thousand mora on a faded map. These things aren’t cheap, you know, and guess what happens when we have no mora?”
“W-we can’t buy food… Paimon will let you hold the map only if you-”
“Paimon?”
“EEK! Demon! Traveler, look!”
“What in the…?”
When you opened your eyes this time you were hardly surprised. You’d already gotten used to the scenery of trees and sky stretching for a seemingly endless expanse, but when you sat up you froze. Staring back at you were familiar golden eyes and a set of sparkling blue ones. You were so very tempted to lie back down and forget what you just saw, but the memories of what happened last night threatened to drown you as they came back in a flood. Tears beaded in the corner of your eyes as the sight of Xiao lying down flashed in your head, his complexion growing paler by the second. The memory of Paimon and the pain associated with her voice snapped you back to reality and you wiped your eyes with your sleeve. You raised your head to meet the gazes of the Traveler and Paimon. You could sense their unease and curiosity, but you took the liberty of asking the first question.
“Where am I?” Your voice made the two reel back in surprise as if they didn’t expect you to know how to speak at all. You raised an eyebrow at the Traveler, noticing that this was the male of the twins. His blonde hair stood out against the greenery of the forest.
Aether hesitantly cleared his throat, but he didn’t lower his guard. “This is a forest somewhere between Mondstat and Liyue. We found you lying unconscious here.”
“Shush, don’t talk to her! Albedo told Paimon that demons are horrible monsters who won’t hesitate to eat you!”
What the hell?
Your mind blanked, ignoring the bickering of the Traveler and Paimon. Mondstat? Liyue? Seeing Aether and Paimon was unbelievable enough, but…
I’m in Teyvat?! Like, Genshin Impact Teyvat?
Holy shit… That message I heard last night. It was real? Did I get stereotypical isekai’d?
You looked back at Aether and Paimon. They were the spitting image of their models but somehow made realistic. They looked real enough. Sounded real. Speaking of sound, you cast a suspicious glance at Paimon. The message you were told sounded like her, or whatever gender the floaty thing was.
“Congratulations! You’ve won the fifty-fifty and have earned the six-star wish on the Player banner, ‘I wish I could’ve done something.' Now being teleported to Teyvat, please don’t fight it. Possible consequences include seizures and even death!”
Your eyes widened and before you could make the realization Aether was asking you a question.
“Are you a demon? Sorry, that sounds rude, but I have to ask.”
You nearly choked on your spit. “Wait, what? What makes you think that?”
Aether turned to Paimon who turned away with a childish hmph.
“If you wanna talk to the stupid demon then don’t get Paimon involved.”
With a sigh, Aether gestured towards his head and looked at you. You confusedly followed his movements then nearly yelped in surprise. Your fingers were curled around two sticks poking out of your head. To be more specific, they were scarily reminding you of demon horns. You slowly lowered your hands and muttered a string of curses. Not only were you lost, in pain, and confused, you had also undergone some kind of stereotypical transformation. Things just kept getting worse.
Your hands returned to your temples and resumed rubbing in circular motions. Aether’s gaze hovered over you, then he pulled Paimon away and spoke in a hushed whisper.
“Before we found her I think she must’ve hit her head… I mean, a demon who doesn’t know they’re a demon is unheard of, and I know Xiao patrols the area around here.” Aether shook his head. “It just doesn’t add up.”
You perked up at the mention of Xiao’s name, then squinted at the otherworldly pair in confusion. They were visually far enough to be out of earshot, but they sounded like they were speaking right next to you. Paimon cast a skeptical glance at you, her eyes lingering on your horns and meeting yours. You didn’t know how to react to her actions, but you didn’t want to risk making an enemy of the duo especially when they were the only two capable of helping you even if one was your kidnapper. You smiled and waved awkwardly. Paimon huffed in annoyance and turned her attention back to Aether.
Paimon crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “Even if Paimon said no, you’d still help her.”
“You know me best.” Aether chuckled guiltily and rubbed the back of his head.
“If the demon eats us in our sleep then don’t get mad when Paimon says, ‘Paimon told you so!’”
“So I take it you’re fine with letting her join us until we find someone to help her?”
Paimon shoved a tiny finger in Aether’s face. “On one condition. Paimon gets to keep an eye on her and you owe Paimon all the tasty food in Liyue!”
“That’s two conditions…”
“Shush! Paimon is now a legendary Yaksha who rules over demons. Muhahaha!”
Aether walked back over to you and held out his hand. “Listen, I don’t even know your name, but I can tell you’re lost. Let us help you. Maybe we can find a doctor to help you… I noticed you rubbing your head and we did find you passed out in the middle of a forest. What do you say?” He gave you a warm smile and you couldn’t help but fall spell to his charm. Even the starter character was fairly handsome. Curse the devs for making the main character so charismatic.
“Uh, y-yeah. Of course. You’re right, I’m lost and I don’t even know where these horns came from, to be honest.” You sheepishly returned the smile and took his hand. Aether grinned at you and gently squeezed your hand as if he was trying to reassure you before letting go and pulling out his map.
“If we go this way we should arrive at Dihua Marsh by tonight…”
Your travels with Aether and Paimon had gone uneventful. Besides the occasional glares from Paimon and a few bug run-ins on your end, you were surprised to see the world of Teyvat so peaceful. Back when you played Genshin Impact, Teyvat was filled with Treasure Hoarders and Hilichurls. Easy enemies, really, but in the state you were in now even a slime would be terrifying.
You’d done some thinking about what happened before you were transported here. First, Xiao died, then you cried yourself to sleep and woke up to the most excruciating pain you’ve ever experienced. Second, you heard Paimon talking about something you could hardly wrap your head around. Third, you were mutated into some demon thing and now Aether was trying to help you figure that out, bless his pure soul. Even in this world Aether was drawn to whoever needed saving. You hadn’t even given him your name and he was already begging Paimon to let him help you. As you recalled Paimon’s and Aether’s conversation from earlier, you pondered the existence of your seemingly superhuman hearing. You figured it had something to do with your transformation but it still worried you. What if the mutations didn’t stop at horns and super hearing? What if you were becoming one of those gross abyss monsters from the game? The thought made you shiver in disgust.
Instead of venturing further into dark thoughts, you cozied up next to the fire Aether had set up after deciding it was time to hit the sack. He was already snoring softly in his tent, leaving you and Paimon to chat together. And by chatting together, I mean sitting in awkward silence roasting fish over the fire you all worked hard to catch. Paimon’s eyebrows were scrunched up in concentration as she focused on reaching the optimal temperature to perfectly cook her fish. Smoke wafted through the air. You grimaced at the smell of burnt fish then burst out in laughter at Paimon’s devastated expression.
“Here, have mine.” You held your wonderful smelling fish towards Paimon. Paimon’s face twitched in annoyance.
She tossed her freshly cooked charcoal into the darkness of the woods and pushed another fish onto a stick. She plopped down next to the fire and started cooking her new piece. She didn’t even spare you a glance, choosing to ignore your offer. You simply shrugged and continued thinking in silence. You didn’t have the energy to deal with a moody pixie. Again, your mind was drawn to the message you’d heard the other night. Your lips pursed into a frown as you let your gaze travel back to Paimon. She was likely the key to figuring out what was going on. Knowing the Paimon from Genshin Impact, this Paimon was acting strangely. Yeah, Paimon was an annoying little runt but she was still kind and lovable. Now in this world, she wouldn’t even think of acknowledging you, instead deciding to act suspicious just because of your mysterious horns. You’d noticed the differences between this world’s Aether and Genshin Impact’s, the former finally being fleshed out as a real person with a unique personality. Even after taking this into account, for some reason, you couldn’t help but feel that this Paimon was just… cold.
You tensed at the sudden realization. In the game, if there was someone Paimon didn’t like, she’d just give them a bad nickname. If there was one thing Paimon loved, it was good food. The real Paimon would never turn down a decent meal, especially if it was free. Your eyes flicked to Paimon’s, and your heart skipped a beat when you realized she’d been staring at you. Her new fish had fallen to the ground, and she didn’t even move an inch. Sparkling blue orbs bore into your own. An expression you’d never seen before covered her face. After what felt like hours, the corners of her lips tugged upwards.
The sound of clapping broke the silence. Paimon laughed, “It’s about time you figured Paimon out! Paimon thought it would take you forever.”
Confusion left you on edge. You didn’t know whether to be afraid or angry, but it was probably best to not let your emotions get the best of you. Paimon’s true intentions were still unknown, after all, and despite her size, you didn’t know if you could take her in a fight. Not like you were a fighter yourself, but better safe than sorry.
With a flurry of questions swarming your mind, you took a deep breath and focused on what was important. “What is this?”
Paimon tapped her chin and dolled an innocent smile, but the spark in her eyes betrayed her mischief. “Paimon’s afraid you’ll have to be more specific.” She giggled at the bewilderment on your face and continued.
“If you’re questioning what Paimon thinks you’re questioning, then this world is Genshin Impact, but Paimon thinks you already know that.”
“That’s not what I was asking! What is this… What’s the player banner you mentioned before I was brought here? Why was I brought here? What does any of this mean? What’s up with you?!” A familiar pounding sensation returned to torture you. You caught yourself from bending over and held the sides of your head. You fought back a groan and glared at Paimon, blurry spots beginning to fill your vision.
“You already know the answer to your first question.” Paimon’s brows furrowed with worry at the sight of your pain, but the small flash of emotion was quickly hidden beneath her classic playful smile.
“I don’t understand!”
“Are you really gonna make Paimon explain everything? Fine, but you owe Paimon a ton of mora for this favor!”
“A player banner is an extremely rare once in a lifetime feature created by the player during a full moon. An offering has to be made to trigger such an event. Just like the original limited-time event banners, a player banner has a fifty-fifty chance of landing the featured wish. The only other difference is that the player banner is custom made to fit the desires of its creator, and in your case, the wish to make a difference.”
“None of this makes sense… I never even made an offering or attempted to create a player banner. I haven’t even heard of a player banner until I was transported here.”
Paimon teleported in front of you in a burst of sparkles and stars. You flinched but you could barely move against the pain. She tapped your nose and clucked her tongue. “That’s just the thing! A player banner can be created intentionally or not, and as a matter of fact, you did make an offering on that very night. Underneath the stars lied your beloved, and those above deemed your offering as worthy enough for your own banner.”
You shook your head in disbelief. “My beloved..? I don’t have anyone of the sort.”
Paimon pinched your nose this time. You grimaced at the sting, then suddenly went numb.
On that night I cried myself to sleep following…
“You’ve already seen this world firsthand. The characters aren’t just characters. They’re people with emotions and wills of their own. Unlike in the game, relationships are capable of developing.” Paimon turned away from you and looked up at the stars. Her voice was solemn now. “You know… You don’t have to stay here. There’s nothing as dangerous as emotions tying you to this world, and it’s not like you’re forced to stay either. Personally, Paimon wants you to stay. You’re the first-ever player to successfully create a banner and win the fifty-fifty. The player banners are just a stepping stool, and for you, you still have time before it happens.”
“Your wish will never come true if you leave.”
Paimon vanished, leaving a plume of stars and constellations to drift into the sky.
Paimon trusts you’ll make the right decision. After all, it isn’t like anyone is waiting for you back in your world. At least you can make a difference here.
Like a whisper on the wind, Paimon’s voice echoed through the air before fading softly into the midnight sky, leaving you numb with mixed emotions.
I made the wish to make a difference on that night. If I leave, nothing will happen. I’ll be brought back to my world with no one to greet me. It’ll be back to the same old routine of waking up, going to work, and coming home to play video games all night. Do I want that? Over this? The freedom of Teyvat where I’m not bound by bills and stuck in a crappy apartment?
Paimon said I still have time, and if I’m right on what she’s referring to… I need to get stronger. How can I protect Xiao from Zhongli in the state I’m in now? Protect him from the actual geo archon?
You clenched your fists and stared over the treetops. You could just barely make out the peak of Wangshu Inn. Your instincts were screaming at you to run away and hide. Was this the doing of your demon transformation, or your fear of what was to come of you staying in this world? Xiao was a Yaksha. You were a demon. The expected outcome was inevitable.
Was dying over a video game character worth it? If you died in this world, would you die in your own as well? Did you have anything to live for in your world besides the utterly raw and shameless desire to survive? If you chickened out, would you have the ability to come back? Something about Paimon’s words told you this was a one-time opportunity.
Paimon was telling the truth about the characters in this world. Your interactions with Aether felt real. Every time he spoke to you you couldn’t help but feel giddy. You noticed he was horrible with reading maps and he had a habit of stargazing. Maybe the stars reminded him of his sister, but even so, Aether had his own personality that broke out of the mold made for him by the devs. You knew everyone in this world would be beautiful and unique. What would Xiao be like? Would he be just as aloof as the Xiao in the game or would he be more complex and wear his emotions on his sleeve? The thought scared you just as much as it fascinated you.
If you left you’d never be able to find out.
You wanted to run. You wanted to stay. Your feet were chained to the ground. The memories you made with Aether flashed in your mind. Your first memory with him was the strongest. He was gazing at you, his posture tense and filled with uncertainty. The subtle gleam of fear in his eyes flickered whenever his eyes traveled over your horns. Demons were hated in this world. Xiao and Zhongli weren’t the only ones willing to kill you without hesitation. Dozens of enemies would be out to get you.
You needed to run. Death wasn’t worth it. You felt like you were drowning, falling in an endless expanse of terror. You were choking. Every breath you took was hopeless, only allowing more fear to assault your lungs.
Your pills. You’d die in this world without them. The headaches were a sickly reminder, a warning of what was coming without proper medicine. It was your first panic attack in years, the last one triggered by the people you used to love.
You gasped ragged breaths as the anxiety raked through your body. You fell to the ground in a pathetic heap, sobbing silently. Somewhere in your delirious state, you felt warm hands wipe the sweat off your face. Your eyes cracked open and you could just barely make out the outline of Aether. His blonde hair was unbraided and fell freely over his shoulders. You thought you heard him yell for Paimon, but you couldn’t make out much of what he was saying.
Another memory replayed in your mind. The sight of Xiao, a spear protruding from his chest. His amber eyes filled with shock and pain, his gaze meeting yours before falling to the ground, never to get up again.
Then another, a more fond and gentle memory. One from years ago when you were in the deepest pit of despair. You only had the strength to pull yourself to your computer back then. You’d scrolled wearily through YouTube, desperately searching for something to keep your mind off the pain. Anything to distract you from the demons in your head. You don’t remember the video you clicked on, but the words you heard were ones you’d never forget.
“If you awake to a knife at your throat, if monsters dig their claws into you, if death comes knocking at your door, call out my name. Adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call.”
After hearing those words, you’d searched further into the one called Xiao. You learned he was a legendary Yaksha struggling with enormous karmic debt from his past. He… reminded you of your circumstances. After years of suffering and searching for someone, you’d found Xiao. You could relate to him and understand his pain. You downloaded Genshin Impact and discovered Xiao as the Traveler. You journeyed with him, helping him lower his barriers and ease his debt even if by a little. You ached to save him from his pain, but the restrictions of the game kept you from doing so. Perhaps you were the one who truly wanted saving, but the fact stands, that Xiao saved you on that hopeless night many years ago.
He’d saved you, but you were too much of a coward to get up and do the same for him. You were useless. A failure. A disappointment.
“Xiao…” You cried, slipping off into the pain. You just wanted to hear his voice. You didn’t care you were being selfish. If anyone could ease your pain, it was him, even if he didn’t hesitate to kill you.
“You called?”