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Chapter Text

The war 

Rubble the size of fists and marbles decorated the broken bridge as clouds of dust settled, revealing two cities, once part of a whole, now divided and in opposition. From the other side of the bridge, the side that saw the sun rise first, stood gold hextech canons that had trailing blue wisps of smoke. The siege stood unwavering, composed of enforcers decked in blue lined with gold–Piltover’s treasured colors. 

At the other side stood the insurgents in tattered clothing, some holding makeshift chemtech weapons bubbling in green liquid, glowing in phosphorescence amid the bleak aftermath. They were outnumbered, mere ants among bigger predators. This wasn’t the first time Zaun had stood up against Piltover. The City of Progress thought they had won, but they didn’t know that Zaun did not back down. They would come back stronger and fight for that independence that they long sought.  The war was just beginning. 

Arms race

The police chief dropped by the room that held Piltover’s most distinguished councilors –men and women with titles passed from generations. In his hands was a broken prototype of a weapon, bronze and steel, barbaric looking and a far cry from some of the weapons that hextech could fashion. 

“This is what our undercover unit has uncovered. They are advancing rapidly. Not hextech but their chemicals are potent on their own.” The police chief explained as he set down the prototype down the table for everyone to see. 

The councilors had not taken his warning as an immediate threat. In their minds, Zaun was always beneath Piltover. 

The machine

In the center of the ornately decorated room that housed Piltover’s council, stood a marvel of invention made of gold. The big contraption had a cylindrical bottom that had an opening without a door, leaving the exposed cylinders and gears inside. The invention was the work of none other than Piltover’s brilliant chief inventor, Jayce Talis. The young inventor took a sapphire hextech gemstone in his hand and lodged it into the side panel of the machine. At first it did nothing, then the gears started clicking into place, blue light emitting from every orifice, the machine coming to life as intended. 

One of the councilors walked into the room, an old stout man with a beard. “Is it ready?” 

Jayce had studied his notes back and forth many times. With the pressure mounting on his back, there was no room for setbacks. Six months ago, insurgents from Zaun had already razed the Piltover Museum with their chemtech devices as a show of force. He always thought Piltover was going to win the war eventually, but the urgency of the council breathing down his back made him doubt their position. 

He began to wonder if they would run this project even if it wasn’t ready but this machine was how they were going to win the war. He cleared his throat, straightening his posture. “It should.”

Agent Red 

The sheriff, a small man named Marcus, watched one of his men come inside his tent. He was a regular rank-and-file enforcer, stationed near the outskirts of the city. That day his face was that of horror, his uniform tattered, revealing a bloody wound on his shoulder. 

“It’s her.” He panted. “Just like the eye witness accounts said. Easily took out most of us stationed, stole ration and other goods.” 

Marcus got the nearest folder to him and flipped it open, revealing a charcoal sketch of a woman’s profile–spiky hair, a nose ring. There was another drawing in another sheet, one of her silhouette, unmistakably large gauntlets on her hands. 

“Is it true it’s hextech powered?” The enforcer nodded, affirming the suspicions of the force. There had been a break in the hextech factory not long ago where a crate of gemstones had been stolen by people suspected to be Zaunites. Dealing with chemtech was one thing, but hextech getting into their hands was plain dangerous and Marcus did not need any reminder about the gravity of the situation. 

He dismissed the enforcer and asked him to head to the infirmary. He looked back at the folder and wrote on paper –Agent Red. He would need to set up his team to track her down and get rid of her before she becomes too much of a problem. 

Day 4,200

Piltover had been pushed back, the barracks gradually moved over the months from near the bridge to the entire outskirts of the city. Parts of the city became no man’s land, an expanse of buildings left to rot, decimated by the days and days of fighting between the rival citizens.

Marcus had called Caitlyn before his tent, a makeshift zone nearest to the garrison camp where most of the planning was made. Caitlyn arrived in her enforcer outfit–the same blue and gold but caked in dirt from having come from a patrol session just in the morning. 

Marcus’ hair had grown gray–it was a tall order being the leader of the force when the war seemed unwinnable. Behind him was a movable blackboard with a map of Piltover and Zaun tacked with red marks indicating the no man’s land zones, showing Piltover losing its ground.  He lit up his cigar and took a drag before speaking. 

“The situation is not good.” Marcus exhaled a long puff. Caitlyn shifted her weight, she was still getting used to being the next highest ranking official after the deputy was killed in an ambush. “Intelligence tells us that the insurgents may be planning another ambush. We cannot afford another surprise attack, half our men are recovering in the infirmary as it is. This is why I need you to lead a counter attack.” 

“Sheriff, with all due respect. We don’t have the numbers.” 

He raised a hand, irritated at the interruption. “You will only bring the special unit. This will be a covert operation. We will be targeting Agent Red and her band of insurgents.” 

Caitlyn understood. Ever since she had joined the force and learned about the insurgents, she had studied Agent Red closely, the Zaunite rebel that has been causing problems for Piltover. They had deduced that she had stolen some hextech to augment herself, making her unstoppable. Most of the enforcers were no match for her, but Caitlyn prided herself in her marksmanship and training. If there is anyone that would bring her down, it would be her. 

“You will prepare for it immediately, it has to be tomorrow. We can’t possibly let this escalate further, the capsule is too dangerous, unlike what the council thinks–” he started rambling, words not making any more sense to Caitlyn. 

Caitlyn was not privy to everything yet but the capsule he referred to had to be the time machine device that was prototyped a few years ago. She had not heard about it since then, but maybe Piltover had a chance after all. 

Day 4,201

Caitlyn woke up in a bunk bed in the garrison tent where most of the enforcers had opted to stay. Some had come voluntarily like her because it was too hard to go home ashen faced while some had nowhere else to go, their own homes absorbed in the growing no man’s land. 

She had quickly dressed in the blue spec ops gear that most of them wore for mission days. Today was the day she would lead the covert operation. Arming herself with her prized hextech rifle, a one of a kind white and gold gun that Jayce had helped fashion for her, she went outside the tent to head to the truck where her unit would be waiting. 

She had passed by Marcus who nodded at her, Caitlyn saluting back. “Morning, Kiramman. Today is the day.” 

She ran the plans in her head as she boarded the truck with other enforcers dressed in the same gear. They were to break into a satellite station in Piltover’s edge in no man’s land where the insurgents had camped in. That was where they were to find Agent Red. 

When they reached the street of the apartment complex housing the satellite station, they had left the truck to walk on foot. Caitlyn took her place in front, finding comfort in the familiarity of being the leader. When they reached the front, she held her rifle tighter and gave a hand signal. One of her squad members pushed the battering ram, the door breaking in its hinges. The rest of her troop poured in, all twelve of them just to find it empty, furniture moved as if people had hurriedly left, some of the radios and equipment left unattended. 

It was impossible, the intelligence they got was never wrong. One of the enforcers went up to the radio, fixing the frequencies and from static, they were able to hear a line, a gnarled voice giving out comms. 

Caitlyn froze, recognizing what was said. She hoped they were not too late. “Let’s get to the old planetarium.” 

All the enforcers ran back to the truck, speeding past dead streets to reach the old planetarium. The complex that was one of Piltover’s treasures was now left to rot alongside most desolate places since the aftermath of the wars. The planetarium was a dome shaped building crusted in gold that now looked a dull brown, paint peeling off. 

It was pure adrenaline that propelled Caitlyn to run up the steps and into the open double doors of the planetarium. She heard a shout and suddenly they were rained on by gunfire. 

She quickly rolled to the nearest marble pole, signaling to the rest of her squad to split up. She quickly surveyed what she could. There was a mezzanine and that was where she saw Zaunite rogues, without uniform, and holding chemtech weapons in their hands. 

Caitlyn quickly aimed her rifle and fired non-lethal shots, on their shoulder or their leg just to take them out of the fight. She needed them alive–why were they here? 

“We need them alive, hold this area.” She ordered the enforcer nearest her. 

She ducked past the marble column and into the next room, an old museum exhibit showing the different stars in the galaxy. Something shifted in the corner of the room and Caitlyn saw another Zaunite rogue recognize her and run away from her, deeper in the complex. Never lowering her rifle, Caitlyn ran and followed the rogue through more exhibition rooms and hallways, until they reached the old viewing deck–a half dome shaped area with a giant telescope situated at the end. 

Caitlyn stopped in her tracks. It wasn’t the telescope she had her eyes on but the hextech contraption just as big in the center of the room. Covered in cobwebs and dust, it was unmistakably the time capsule that Jayce had built. It had a rounded cylindrical base with an oval entrance only big enough for one person to stand in. Why was it here? 

The Zaunite turned to her, realizing how it was his time to strike. With nothing but a metal rod he tried to hit Caitlyn who was quickly able to sidestep and slam the butt of her rifle at him, sending him to the floor. She grabbed his shirt. “What are you doing here?” 

The Zaunite up close, Caitlyn realized he was just barely a teenager, already forced to fight in this war. He grimaced at the interrogation but before Caitlyn could respond further, she felt a blunt force knock her, sending her flying across the room. 

The pain registered a second late, she knew she had cracked some of her ribs in her side. She carefully grabbed her rifle and got up to her feet, letting her vision clear, until she saw another figure standing opposite her next to the Zaunite teenager. Her figure was distinct, a fighter’s body, spiky hair, and huge metal gauntlets on her arms. She was dressed in the same rag-tag clothes Zaunites wore but unmistakable was her red canvas jacket. It was Agent Red. 

Caitlyn had read upon her rival for years ever since she started wreaking havoc. She saw the artist sketches depicting her foe, mean eyes and a permanent scowl. She wasn’t prepared for what she saw in the flesh. She was nearly her age, and she had this rugged beauty that was both mesmerizing and terrifying. 

“And we finally meet.” She spoke coyly, with her low throaty voice. Caitlyn thought back to all the files that were stacked on her work desk at the station, all the nights she spent learning everything she could about the mysterious foe. 

“You’re Agent Red.” She had to stall, get her to talk. Caitlyn tried to ignore the pain in her side that was starting to throb, her hand gripped her rifle tighter. 

“Is that what you Pilties call me?” she scoffed. “How cute. “What else does your intelligence say about me?” 

“You’re dangerous, you’ve stolen hextech for your gauntlets to work. You’ve stolen countless PIltovan goods, you have caused property damage, dozens of injured enforcers.” 

“How rich. I guess everyone in Piltover thinks all of Zaun is bad. Have you taken a look at yourself?” 

Irritation crept up in Caitlyn. Now she was just playing with her, distracting her from the reason they were here. “What are you doing here?” She demanded, not wanting to be fazed any longer. 

The Zaunite brawler took one step, then another, closer towards her. “Just finishing what you Pilties started.” 

Caitlyn aimed her rifle at the girl, taking a shot at one of her arm gauntlets. The bullet ricocheted easily like it was a pellet. 

“That’s not going to hurt me.” She walked up towards the time capsule, pried open a panel and put into place a small wireless receiver. Then she produced a hextech gemstone from her pocket and placed it into the receiver, which started beeping, displaying vials of green liquid–a chemtech invention. 

Before Caitlyn could register, there was a deep groan like a bellow of a giant beast that filled the room. Then the sound of gears started, slow before picking a normal pace. The time machine which had been dormant had come alive, emitting a glowing blue light. 

For the first time, Caitlyn felt fear–fear at the unknown that her rival had unleashed. “What are you doing? This time capsule does not work.” 

Red turned to face her, that same smug look in her face. “You can’t make it work. But Piltover is not the only place where good inventors can be found. We’re taking this time machine apart, an invention like this is too dangerous in the hands of your people. Not when Zaun is winning the war.” 

It dawned on Caitlyn from the beeping sound of the receiver that was a bomb, to the whirring of the time machine. Aiming her gun, she rapidly fired a net that hit Vi, causing her to fall to the ground, wrapping her around heavy twine. It was not enough but it will buy her some time. She ran to the time capsule and checked the beeping bomb. She knew how to disarm usual bombs but this was different, the way chemtech worked different from hextech. The helplessness of the situation was dawning on her. How many people can she still save? How can Piltover still win the war if this goes off? 

Caitlyn did not see that the brawler had freed herself from the net as if it was nothing more than string. Her rival quickly knocked her back on the ground, pinning her down. Caitlyn felt the ache at her side again erupt. The brawler’s face was inches before hers and she turned to the side to see her gun was just out of her arm’s reach. 

If she died then, she died trying–  Caitlyn thought. 

The machine had started whirring really fast, emitting light that was starting to drown the rest of the room in white. Her rival had a victorious smile on. “We’re both going to die, you do realize that?” She retorted one last time. 

“I haven’t even pulled the trigger–” Her rival’s face changed, turning to the machine as if just noticing how unnatural it had been acting. For a second Caitlyn could see that she was bargaining with the decision, until it turned to acceptance. “If I die in Zaun’s war then it’s worth it.” 

Caitlyn watched as her rival raised her gauntlet, ready to hit her. She braced herself for impact but it was the white blinding light that took her first. 

Then nothingness. 

Again 

Caitlyn opened her eyes, not expecting to find the same gray fabric of their barrack tent before her. She quickly got up, feeling at her left ribs which she was sure she had broken, yet there was no pain. How did she get here? 

She dressed in the usual enforcer uniform, the standard issue blue and gold coat with pants and leather boots. She saw Marcus pass by her, holding a clipboard in hand. “Morning, Kiramman. Today is the day.” 

Caitlyn stopped in her tracks. “Sheriff, what do you mean? What happened at the planetarium?” 

He frowned as if she was now a nuisance. “What are you talking about? Today’s your covert operation. Get to work. I need a full report afterwards.” 

She joined the rest of her squad who were hanging outside the truck. They were conversing about the mission, what they expected they would find. 

“Everything alright, deputy?” One of them noticed Caitlyn’s pale expression. 

“We can’t go to the apartment complex. We have to go to the planetarium.” She didn’t know why those words came out, but she knew it was how they would win. 

There were confused questions but in the end nobody objected since she was of higher rank than them. When they got there, they were earlier. The Zaunites had just arrived and a shootout commenced. Caitlyn ordered some of her men to follow her to the viewing deck, dodging past bullets to get to the chamber. 

She saw that Agent Red was already there, ordering the Zaunite teenager who was fastening the bomb at the base of the capsule. 

“Stop right there!” Caitlyn aimed her gun, not this time at the gauntlets but at her chest. She would not make the same mistake. 

Her rival sighed, realizing she was not alone, two of Caitlyn’s men standing next to her. “Make me.” 

She fired a shot, landing on her rival’s chest, but that didn’t stop her from lurching forward and knocking out two of her men in swift punches. Before she could run to stop the teenage rebel, Red lurched forward, pinning her this time against the wall. Grabbing her by her uniform collar, Caitlyn felt her feet leave the floor, pressure at her neck tightening. 

“Whatever trick you’re playing, we’re winning this time.” Caitlyn managed. 

For a second, her rival’s expression changed. “You think this is a trick?” 

That was the distraction she needed. Caitlyn spat at her rival’s face, causing her to let her go and she grabbed her rifle from the ground. Aiming at her head, Caitlyn loaded the bolt and pressed the trigger. 

Then nothingness. 

Impasse

Caitlyn remembered the time she got the flu when she was young and was stuck in bed for a week, she dreamt hallucinations she could not ever fathom. Distorting reality from imagination. When she had told her parents about it, they just laughed at the absurdity of it all. 

That was how Caitlyn felt when the same day happened again and again and again. She had thought it was a trick played by her rival, but if it was, it can’t last forever can it? 

The only difference was the final encounter with her rival at the viewing deck, sometimes she had gotten her shot first, other times her rival had managed to beat her, breaking more than just her ribs. 

One of the recent encounters they had turned into a scrappy fight. Red took out her gauntlets and sent her fist flying across her face, sending Caitlyn spitting blood. Caitlyn wasn’t much of a fighter,  but she got to her feet and wrestled with the brawler, pinning her arm with her knee. Red would connect her knee to Caitlyn’s abdomen, causing them to switch–Red on top of her, now sending her fist across Caitlyn’s face. But Caitlyn would find an opening and so it went on–seemingly stretching on forever. It ended with both of them heaving in the ground, blood, sweat mixing in their bare skin, too wounded to pick up the fight. 

Light from the time machine ate them whole, then nothingness. 

No matter how she cut it, she always ended up waking up every morning in her bunk bed on the day of her mission.

Time loop

During that first week, she decided to go to her friend–the only one she knew could solve her problem. 

Jayce’s apartment wasn’t hard to find, it was at the center of the bustling city, the way he liked it. Caitlyn had been living at the front for a while and seeing city life was jarring. This is what she is fighting for–freedom for Piltover’s citizens. 

She knocked at the penthouse unit of the apartment, and was greeted by a Jayce that was still in his undershirt and pajamas. His dark locks were uncombed and he had let stubble grow on his face. 

“What are you doing here?” He narrowed his eyes as if he just woke up. 

“Why are you still dressed like that? It’s almost noon.” Caitlyn made her way in the apartment. The place wasn’t the pristine she remembered it to be, there were boxes everywhere full of prototypes and paper scattered on the floor. 

Jayce still obliged and offered Caitlyn a cup of coffee from the kitchen before she sat down to break him the point of her visit. 

“Why do you keep the time machine in the planetarium?”

Jayce almost choked in his own coffee and suddenly couldn't meet her eyes. “How did you know it was there? That place is abandoned.” 

And so she told him. The covert mission, and the way Red and her rogues had been one step ahead, with their plan to disable the time machine. 

Once Caitlyn had finished Jayce had his hands in his hair, eyes darting quickly. “Oh no, this is horrible. Cait I think you’ve messed with the fabric of time. The time machine never worked, properly, that is. That was why the whole initiative was scrapped, moved from the council building to the abandoned planetarium. It’s been years.” Jayce started pacing around his kitchen. “The only way they knew its location is if they got ahold of council archives, which means Piltover is in trouble–our secrets spilling to the enemy. Zaunites must have figured out how to activate it, if you say it started working, lighting up. I knew that nobody could crack it– it was supposed to be junk. That’s why I abandoned it.” 

“It never worked? I thought this was some secret weapon in case things go wrong.” 

“No you don’t understand. It was supposed to be a failsafe. In case things go wrong during the war, the capsule was so that we can go back in time and prevent Piltover from losing. Only it’s more complicated than that. The scope of what the council needed was too much. It would never work, at least in this lifetime.” Caitlyn hadn’t heard Jayce speak with so much fervor the way he did whenever he talked about his work, yet none of this made sense to Caitlyn. 

“So why did this happen? If they were supposed to blow it up, why am I still in this loop?” 

“That means that before the bomb even went off, the time machine had somehow worked. Yet not how it was intended. Time loops are an anomaly, a rip in the fabric of time.” He took a quick sip from his coffee, his eyes somewhere distant. “I ran the calculations long ago but never finished them. It’s really impossible to say how to reverse it–” 

“Are you saying–” 

His eyes met her as if he regretted being the bearer of bad news. “You’re stuck in the time loop for good.” 

“Why can I remember everything? But everyone doesn’t?” 

“It’s complicated, even I don't understand the complexity of time travel.” He sighed, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry Cait.” 

Truce

When the reality of the situation hit, Caitlyn did what she could to escape from her mission. It was all headed the same direction anyway. Each night she slept, she just ended up waking up to the same morning. 

The loneliness of the monotony was unbearable. It did not matter what she said to anyone because the next day, everyone forgot. Everyone but her. She had spoken to Jayce about seven times, trying to see if her story could elicit a different response, maybe one where he knew how to help her, but for the most part his reaction was the same. 

She ended up going to the planetarium alone one day. She already knew the words to dispel the mission. All she had to say was that “We need more time to gather intelligence” and her squad understood and got to work. 

Taking the empty truck to the abandoned streets, she did not know what lay ahead her at the old planetarium. The last time she had been there was when she was a kid and her parents had brought her there after visiting the old museum. The memory was painfully distant, faded into gray from the harsh reality of the war in front of them. 

When she got to the place, it was empty and without a sign of being broken in. She took her time to stroll through the venue, looking at the old placards describing different astronomical wonders. Her feet eventually led her to the chamber of the time machine. It stood there, dusty and dormant as if it had never caused anyone any harm. 

Caitlyn couldn’t describe the anger and frustration that welled up in her chest. Just days ago she was just a regular Piltover enforcer, fighting for her city, doing her duty and now she was perpetually suspended in time with no way out. The reality of her situation hit her and she let out a scream, letting her voice reverberate around the empty halls of the complex. 

“That’s not going to work, you know.” 

The unfamiliar voice was enough to make Caitlyn stand on her feet, her hands instinctively searching for her rifle which she realized she had left in the truck. She cursed. 

Stepping out from the shadows was none other than her rival, Agent Red. The only difference was this time, she didn’t have her gauntlets, only bandage wrapped arms that covered black tattoos that ran behind her arm. She took a step towards Caitlyn, who raised an arm. “Stay back.” 

Her rival raised both hands.

“Wait, you’re not going to kill me?” Caitlyn needed to get on with it so the day could start over and end her misery. 

“There’s no point, the day would just start over.” 

Caitlyn froze. “Wait–you’re also stuck in the loop. With me?” 

Her rival sighed and sat on the floor. “Unfortunately. Sad, I was so looking forward to–you know. No offense.” 

Caitlyn wanted to scream all over again. How could be stuck with the person she had spent hating, someone who hated her guts just as bad? 

Instead, her feet took her running. She ran, the air hard against her, outside the planetarium, past the abandoned streets. 

“Hey!” Her rival shouted behind her, but Caitlyn couldn’t turn back. Her feet led her to the once golden bridge that bridged the two cities, now broken in half, metal beams protruding out like claws. The sky was clear yet on that bridge, looking out at the place that was Zaun, it seemed like the grays had drawn themselves in. Caitlyn watched the dark blue waters below, its calm almost deceiving. She wanted to jump headfirst and just let the waters consume her, see if it felt like how she felt. 

“Do you really want to do that?” She turned to see her rival jog to where she was. “Believe me, it won’t change a thing.”

“I’d do it, rather than be stuck with you.” Caitlyn spat. Caitlyn could still remember just how much her rival could easily kill her. The feeling of cracked ribs and a busted cheek was still too fresh on Caitlyn’s mind. “You tried to kill me.” 

“You also tried to kill me.” The brawler said matter of factly. “Do you think I enjoy this? I hate it just as much as you do. But if you’re the only person who understands what I’m going through, we can’t avoid each other forever.” Her rival sat at the edge of the bridge, letting her feet dangle freely above the depths. 

Tension was still tightly coiled in Caitlyn’s chest. Everything was suffocating already. She had to work with what she could to make the reality of the situation more bearable. 

Caitlyn hesitantly sat down next to her, careful to maintain a safe distance. She had never really met a Zaunite up and close but as her rival looked out at the expanse before her, Caitlyn observed her carefully. There was something naturally rugged about Red, from the way her shoulders were always relaxed, to how she spoke. It was something she never really saw in Piltover. If they were in different circumstances, Caitlyn might have found her beautiful in her own right. 

“Are we the only ones in this loop?” 

Her rival nodded. “I talked to Skid, the kid you almost beat up. He doesn’t remember a single thing.” 

Caitlyn frowned, but she didn’t admit out loud that it was comforting to know that she wasn’t completely alone in her situation. 

“I spoke with a–friend. He helped build the machine.” She knew her rival at least needed to know what she knew.  The brawler cocked an eyebrow, looking at her for the first time since she sat down. “He said the time machine was a failure and it never worked. Yet somehow what you did, it awakened it out of nowhere.” 

“Thank my sister for that I guess.” She chuckled, a faint twinkle in her eyes. “She’s into inventing stuff, she had this idea of merging both hextech and chemtech to blow it up. Chemtech alone can’t do something that powerful. And now look where it got us.” 

Us. The word was unfamiliar to Caitlyn. 

“There’s no way out of this is there? From your friend?” 

Caitlyn shook her head. 

Her rival turned to her and put out her wrapped hand. “Well if we’re going to be stuck here, we can’t be strangers. My name’s Violet but everyone calls me Vi.” 

Caitlyn thought it was odd she was named after a color she did not resemble at all. But between her codename and her real name, her hair color was somewhere in the middle of both. Caitlyn stared at her hand. The upfrontness of the girl was something she would have to get used to. She carefully took it into a curt handshake, feeling its rough callousness against her soft skin. “Caitlyn.” 

“This changes nothing by the way. You Pilties are all elitist scum, I hate your guts.” Her affirmation was comfort to Caitlyn. Nothing can change between them. 

“Says the Zaun trash.” Caitlyn wasn’t sure if insulting her back was the way to go. But their eyes had met for a brief second before they both erupted in laughter–possibly Caitlyn’s first time since the loop. 

Caitlyn could already see her misery, but at least she wasn’t the only one miserable. 

Chapter Text

False solitude

Feeling the coolness of the rifle against her cheek, Caitlyn fired shot after shot. One by one, the target dummies made of wood and hay all had marks in their heads–perfect aces. Caitlyn lowered the rifle when she had finished the row of targets. She stared at the hole that manifested in the head of the target dummy. 

Taking the truck before Marcus could call her out, she had escaped to the countryside where her family had a lodge, staying at the target practice range at their yard that her father had built many years ago. This was a pastime she had no time for since Piltover had declared war on Zaun. She thought coming back would fill her with past memories, but much like the bullet hole, all she felt was the emptiness. The void of knowing what had happened to her, started to hit all over again. 

All her life, she had thought grief was only a feeling when you lose someone when they die. But watching the day go by over and over again filled Caitlyn with such grief for losing herself. The gnawing dread that ate up her insides, kept her restless. The growing cavity that could not be filled by things that used to make her happy. Distraction offered no solace to the grief. 

Biting words

“There you are. Started to wonder where you were.” Vi was lying on her back at the planetarium’s viewing chamber, head supported by her hands. 

Caitlyn tossed her rucksack containing her rifle across the floor. She had tried to avoid this but somehow going through the repetition in solitude was even more unbearable. She would rather take the whirlwind of emotion that her rival had caused her over the bleak numbness of being alone. 

“I’m getting used to this, but it’s hard.”

“No shit. You can’t simply get used to this, how many times does this happen to a person ever?” It was already working, the girl was starting to get on Caitlyn’s nerves, insufferable. 

“Why are you taking this so easy?” She was not blind to the stark contrast her rival was acting.  Part of her envied seeing her like that. 

“Who said I was?” Vi had propped herself on her elbow. She had this mannerism where her eyebrow raised matched the way her left lip curled up. 

“You’re acting this way.” 

“I’m always like this please. Don’t tell me you Pilties don’t know what fun is, your panties are always in a twist.” 

Caitlyn put her foot down. “You always think the worst of us as if you Zaunites aren’t any better.”

Vi now sat up, letting her arms rest on top of her knees. “At least Zaunites don’t pretend to be all good. There’s some pretty fucked up people down there. Pilties act all high and mighty when there’s just as much blood on your hands.” 

How Caitlyn felt in front of Vi was the same as being in the playground with the mean kids. Biting words had hurt and she knew if she tried to fight it longer she would only cry in frustration. The words stung but Caitlyn knew better than to stroke the flames. 

The rules

Jayce had only told her so much of what he knew about time and how time loops were possible. But as the days went by, Caitlyn understood two facts that remained constants. 

At a certain time each day, the day would reset. 

When either of them died, the day would reset. 

The first one was very evident. Each night that ended with her going back to her bunk bed in the barracks, she knew the next day would repeat. Caitlyn had tried sleeping elsewhere –in the backseat of their truck, by the canteen, or renting a room in the nearby motel. All of them didn’t change the fact that when she woke up, she was back in the loop. 

The second one, in hindsight she realized during those few encounters. She and Vi had gotten really close to killing each other at the planetarium, and each yielded the same loop. 

Despite their truce, she did not come to see Vi often. There was still this sense of distrust she had for her rival. Not being on killing terms was still vastly different from being friends. 

But Caitlyn remembered the times when she would just be walking from the garrison to walk to the bustling parts of Piltover when she felt this weird tug, displacing her balance. The next thing she knew, the day had started again. It confused her when it first started happening. She would find herself so distressed by morning that she would need a day’s worth of distraction to make up for those phantom nights. 

It took Caitlyn a while to realize that Vi might have been getting herself into trouble. She figured trouble might be easy to come by in Zaun, so it wasn’t a surprise. But it didn’t stop her from wondering what exactly her rival had been up to. 

Looking glass

“What would you do if you had all the time in the world?” 

Jayce had poured himself a cup of coffee, wearing the same gray shirt and striped pajamas. He looked out the open window, where Piltover was spread out below, bustling and without signs of the war. 

“I would probably invent more. Have fewer projects I scrapped.” There was something wistful in his words. Caitlyn felt a throb of guilt at not being able to visit her friend more when all in her mind had been winning the war. 

“What if you ended up living the same day over and over?” 

Jayce put his mug down on the marble counter, planted both hands down, eyes on her. “Cait, what is this really about? There’s something you’re not telling me.” 

Caitlyn averted her gaze. Speaking with Jayce without telling him the whole story was just staring through the looking glass, seeing without being seen. She didn’t know why she didn’t have the heart to bring it up anymore. 

His shoulders slumped, Jayce took a seat next to her in the living room. “When they told me to keep making these inventions, these weapons, I knew it was getting worse. I should have checked up on you, you’ve been at the front for too long.” 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t visit more often.” They sat in almost mournful silence at what was. Silence next to Jayce was always comfortable, which Caitlyn appreciated. 

“If I lived the same day over and over,” Jayce broke that silence, giving her a soft smile as he spoke– not always understanding, but ready to show his support.  “I’d do better, I’d be a better person than what I was yesterday.” 

Home 

Caitlyn felt the clamminess of her hands, the restlessness tapping of her feet as she stood in front of the gilded wooden doors of her family home. Truth be told, being there brought back memories, some more painful than most– arguing with her mother about the choices she was making, why she wanted to turn her back on the council seat that was supposed to await her when she retired. The years of feeling like she was nothing more than a disappointment and disgrace to the family name. 

But it also brought back remnants of the past – warm winters by the fireplace when her father would read them stories, waking up on Christmas day and running downstairs to their tree to see the gift that her parents had gotten her which happened to be her first marksman rifle. 

She was brought to present when one of their staff members let her in the house. The plush carpet and the white marble posts gave a coolness that only the place could emanate, but it also highlighted how empty it looked. In an estate with about a dozen rooms, the only real occupants were her parents. Caitlyn could admit that it was sad to come home and see it especially after how things were the last time she had visited home. 

She was led to the library room, a big room with bookshelves covering every wall. At the center there were two desks facing each other, and an assortment of upholstered chairs around the room. Her mother was sitting at her desk, her glasses on. She immediately stood up and took them out when she saw her. Her father had put down the newspaper he was reading and uncrossed his legs. 

“Caitlyn! What brings you here?” 

Caitlyn made her way to one of the seats, giving a small smile to her parents. 

“I just wanted to drop by.” Her hands fidgeted. 

“I thought you’re at the front, dear?” Her father calmly asked. 

“I have a day off.” She lied, the answer she gave most people to explain why she was anywhere but the front. 

Her mother instructed the staff to serve her favorite tea and biscuits. They started asking her about the mundane stuff like how she was doing over there, whether she’s able to get the proper rest and diet at the front. But all of these were words Caitlyn answered without thinking, one thing still in her mind. 

She had set down her teacup at the desk next to her. “I‘m sorry for last time. For never dropping by. I thought I wasn’t welcome anymore.” 

Recognition was evident in her parents' faces. She remembered that night still so clearly– it has been years and she never properly came home after it. She thought all this time that there was this divide that she will never fix after that. 

Instead her father stood up and hugged her, Caitlyn first freezing at the unexpected gesture until she eased into it. Her mother walked up towards her and gave a soft smile. “This is still your home, Caitlyn. You’re always welcome.” 

“Whatever it is you do, we’re always here to support you.” Her father added. 

“It would be nice if you’d drop by again next time.” Her mother added a bit later, as if she had debated saying it. That’s when Caitlyn felt the slow ripping of her heart into pieces she cannot glue back together. The reality of her situation. Parents who will never see their daughter make amends and repair their relationship, their last memory together nothing more than tears in the rain. 

Atonement

It was late afternoon when Caitlyn drove to the planetarium. She was surprised to see Vi sitting in the front steps of the complex. She halted the vehicle in front and walked up towards the steps, taking a seat, careful to maintain a reasonable distance between them. 

Vi wasn’t looking at her, and she seemed to be in thought with her eyebrows scrunched together. Her shoulders slumped, her arms were resting on her knees, the way most men sat. 

Caitlyn turned her attention to the blue and orange mixing in the sky above. “At least the weather’s nice. Would be sad if we lived over and over on a rainy day.” 

No reply from her rival. 

“I know you don’t trust me but I know it’s good to sometimes share your thoughts. It’s not good keeping it all in.” She tried, knowing that to understand her rival is how she can start being better. The lack of reply made her exhale loudly. “Or not, we don’t owe each other anything.” 

Vi, without looking at her, suddenly said “I feel like such a big hypocrite. All this talk about rubbing it in your face how Piltover is bad when Zaun isn’t any better.” 

“What happened?” 

“I found out what really happened to Vander.” Vi’s voice turned hoarse at the mention of the unfamiliar name. “He practically adopted me, raised me and my sister. He used to lead the Zaunites, he believed in good things for the people. But his brother Silco came into the fold. I know they fought because they had different ideals. Silco was power hungry in the way Vander never was, he’s more ruthless, and vile. But Vander eventually stepped down. Not long after he stepped down he got sick and died. I always thought it was because of the mining fumes that used to plague Zaun so much before and took a lot of lives.” 

“Every morning, I wake up and head to Silco’s office and he tells me about what I need to do, to take down the machine. Every morning I’d just say yes and leave Zaun to go here. But then one day I didn’t. I told him I wouldn’t do it, that I wasn’t his lapdog just to boss around. He told me the truth, that he had threatened Vander with me and my sister if he didn’t step down as Zaun’s leader. Vander couldn’t live without us so he did what was asked. But his death wasn’t accidental– Silco had intentionally slipped something in his drink, chemicals that made him weaker and weaker as the months went on until he died.”

“I got mad when I found out. He sent me down a hole with his goons to finish me off, make sure I don’t speak. These people were unlike anything I’d seen before, people laced with a chemical enhancement that made them more than human, faster, stronger, more ruthless. I was stupid to think I could take them all I–” 

“Died,” Caitlyn finished. 

Vi’s eyes darted to meet hers. “How did you–”

“I felt it that day. The day reset.” 

“I don’t know what to feel that the Zaun I’m fighting for isn’t the kind that Vander wanted. He didn’t want this. He looked out for Zaun because he cared about the people and their freedom, not because he wanted to exploit it the way Silco is.  I just can’t believe it took me being stuck in a stupid time loop to figure it out. But It’s too late.” Vi sighed. “Powder, my sister, she’s really attached to Silco. She was too young when Vander died and Silco’s taken this liking to her and she sees him as this father figure. If I had known earlier I could have pulled her far away from him.”

“It’s not your fault you didn’t know.” 

“It feels like it though. Sometimes I wonder if getting stuck here was some sick atonement for my failures.” The words hung over the both of them, and there was nothing more to be said. 

The mural

The bridge that connected both Piltover and Zaun had long lost its function, decimated by the war. Serving as nothing more than a relic of what was. 

But down the metal beams that supported the bridge, below the rocky land that jutted out of the sea, were a series of rickety planks that formed a precarious path that spanned the bridge. That day Vi had led Caitlyn down the path that led to the makeshift bridge. Vi had wanted to show Caitlyn something and there wasn’t anything better she had to do. They had stopped when they reached the other side of land that was Zaun. 

But before anything, Caitlyn felt her breath hitch. Displayed at the wall of the first dilapidated building next to the bridge were a collection of different photographs, some new, some sepia and faded; discolored words marked with old paint; letters tucked or folded; and candles with hardened dripping wax. Down the floor the assortment of tokens and memorabilia trailed on. 

Caitlyn crept closer, she checked the photographs. They were husbands, mothers, some even entire families, with kids.

“This is–” 

“Everyone we lost to the war.” 

“Your parents–” Caitlyn was afraid to meet her eyes. 

“Many years ago.” Vi said. “I think those mementos have been long gone.”

Caitlyn felt tears form in her eyes. All her life,  she had been taught by grownups, by the academy, that the Zaunites who rebelled got what they deserve for they were more savage than Piltovans. They did not follow the rules of civility and got what they deserved. But standing before mementos of all the people lost, they were no different than her, than her family. 

She felt disgust and shame at what she had been an accomplice in, making her sick to her gut, bile rising up. The time loop was her penance for this, but even she knew a thousand years would never be enough to bring back lives lost, families torn apart. There was blood in her hands. 

Uniform

Caitlyn looked at the blue and gold standard issue uniform she had folded at the foot of her bunk bed. The blue and gold she used to wear with such pride now was a horrifying reminder of what she had become a part of. 

She had pulled out her suitcase from underneath the bed, the one that housed what personal belongings she had brought with her. What greeted her was the traditional family garb, white and blue, custom tailored from expensive fabrics was neatly folded. She hadn’t worn them except during family functions which she cannot even recall the last time. 

It wasn’t much, and it won’t change anything when she wakes up again the next day. But not wearing the uniform was taking the active choice to not be part of a war she didn’t believe in anymore, the Piltover she didn’t want to be a part of. Caitlyn could not control her predicament but she could control this, and that was a start. 

Tethered

Caitlyn had sat by the front steps of the planetarium, waiting. Near sundown, she saw the figure of the other girl pass by the corner road of the complex. Caitlyn had called out but Vi did not respond, leading Caitlyn to follow the girl, until she caught up to block her path. Vi looked annoyed. 

“I want you to stop.” Caitlyn said firmly between breaths. She realized she sounded like how she gave orders to the rest of her squad of enforcers. 

“Stop what?” Vi did the thing where her lip and left eyebrow rose at the same time. 

“Whatever stupid thing you’re doing that’s getting you killed.” Caitlyn didn’t even want to find Vi. But it was getting on her nerves how she went about her day just to feel that split second of nausea hit her, that vertigo that shook her balance, until the day reset.  

Vi looked like she was done talking about it. “Sorry if I’m trying to figure out if there’s any way I can stop the war.”

Caitlyn furrowed her brows. “You what?” 

“I tried ten times to see if I could do something to change Silco’s mind about the war. I still ended up losing to his drug-enhanced goons. At least I know I tried. So I’m sorry if you’re so bothered by it.” Vi snarled. 

Caitlyn couldn’t respond. She knew it was hopeless, yet Vi still tried to do her part even if it wouldn’t change their situation. There was something honorable about that, fighting the long defeat. 

Vi bounced her wait in her heels like she wanted to leave. “Why do you care what happens to me anyway?” 

The question thrown back at her face, she couldn’t find an answer. This restlessness and anxiety that filled her afterwards when she would wake up was jolting. In a world where the day was set in stone, it was the only thing that kept her at the edge of her seat. It was inexplicable but somehow she and Vi were tied to one another from the events that day with the time machine, much more than she can ever begin to comprehend. 

“You’re not the only one getting affected by your actions. Just please.” It was now Caitlyn’s turn to shift in her wait, about to leave when Vi held her arm, keeping her in place. 

“Do you think I care what happens to you?” Caitlyn realized just how close Vi was, her breathy voice almost breathing down her. Despite being an inch taller, Caitlyn could admit to herself that Vi’s bravado can be intimidating when she wants it to. 

She thought back to that time Vi had opened up to her on the planetarium steps, how much she wore her heart on her sleeve talking to someone that was once her rival. Caitlyn straightened her posture. “You have a good heart.” 

Vi let go of her tight hold on her arm, stepping back. There was something about what she said that had an effect on the brawler. Giving her one last quick glance, Vi nodded, and walked away until the abandoned streets swallowed her whole. 

The council

Caitlyn tapped her foot as she waited outside the carpeted hallway. Ornate lights, banners of the finest tapestries, and paintings from iconic painters hung on every wall. A guard in a dress uniform then led her to the giant double doors that led to the council chamber. 

She had been to the council chamber many times, she had seen her mom make decisions plenty of times when audiences had been allowed. The spacious cool room greeted her with the crescent table where councilors were to sit. That day, only half were filled. She expected as much–as the war raged on, some councilors had stepped down due to the pressure of the job, one of these people was her own mother. That day about five councilors were left in discussion when she set foot in the center of the table. 

“Deputy Kiramman, what brings you here?” Asked one of them, a man old enough to be her grandfather. 

She had nothing to lose. Caitlyn talked about the dire situation at the front, how most of the enforcers had been injured. She talked about the dangers of the new chemtech drug Shimmer that Vi had told her about, how it was augmenting humans to be inhumanly strong. For what it’s worth, just like Vi, she wanted to know that she tried. 

She didn’t expect much, but she held on little hope that armistice was possible. Instead another councilor interjected, a younger man she had suspected was appointed after the old ones left. “So what do you expect us to do about it?” 

“Armistice is the only option. Piltover is losing.” She didn’t think she would need to spell it out. 

“Deputy, with all due respect to your mother, if I may be so bold. But the only thing keeping Piltover afloat in these war efforts is our ongoing trade shipments overseas, our gold reserves are getting depleted as it is. Zaun’s independence can be catastrophic for our economy.”

“We’re losing the war and you care about profit? Do you hear yourself right now?” She did not mean to raise her voice, but she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. 

“Piltover will not lose,” The old councilor reiterated. Caitlyn realized that it was like arguing with a brick wall – too blind to reality, too absorbed in greed.  This was why even Marcus never seemed to consult with the council when it came to the war efforts. 

She stormed out of the chamber, letting her feet create distance between herself and the archaic establishment. If the fate of Piltover lay in their hands, then it truly was a lost cause.  The only thought in her head was that if she hadn’t been stuck in the loop, she would be fighting a losing war, an oblivious accomplice to a war she never had a choice in. 

Tears in the rain

The skies above were howling, a pitch black evening with torrential rainfall. The weather had been uncertain in the forecasts, but if there was one thing certain it was Caitlyn’s resolve. 

She had told her parents that evening when she had visited home, where she was assigned. Years of sitting behind her desk wanting to do more for Piltover and now it was finally in her grasp. 

But her mother had none of it. The warm dining room next to the mantle suddenly turned as icy cold as the rain. “You will not be risking your life to fight the war in the front!” 

Her father was more reserved in his response, but it still made Caitlyn’s heart sink. “Dear, you have been plenty useful even when you were just sitting behind the desk, gathering intelligence.” 

But they didn't understand. She was a marksman first and foremost and that was the only place where she can put her skills to good use, finally prove herself, step outside of the shadow that has followed her since childhood. Part of her couldn’t take her parents disagreeing with her–not when there was nothing more she wanted to do than serve Piltover the best way she knew how. She had left the dining hall, letting the door slam –something she would have been scolded for when she was young. She heard her parents at her heels, clearly the conversation wasn’t over. But Caitlyn couldn’t do it. 

She had exited the front steps of their mansion, realizing just how bad the rain was and letting it soak her, dampening more than just her clothes. She turned back to see her parents stand at the footsteps of the porch, not wanting to cross the line where the rain fell. She felt tears in her eyes, the way it did whenever she was angry or frustrated, which Caitlyn hated. 

“Caitlyn–” her mother started. “You’re too young to understand, but nobody wins in war–” 

But she knew that if she stayed longer and heard what they had to say, she wouldn’t have the courage to do what she had to do. She had turned her back and walked away from their mansion quite possibly the last time. 

Smoke and mirrors 

“Hey wait up!” 

Caitlyn ignored Vi’s voice as she trudged past her, out of the planetarium, to the abandoned streets where once Progress Day was held. Everything looked dull and gray from the cobbled path, to the soot covered buildings, grimy window panes. It was apt for how Caitlyn felt. 

She had wanted peace of mind in the planetarium, but when Vi came, she needed to get away from everything. 

“What’s wrong?” Vi was catching up to her, stubborn. 

“Leave me alone, Vi.” She spat, walking faster and faster. 

Vi pulled her shoulder back, which Caitlyn shrugged off. 

“What’s with the sour mood?” 

“Can’t you see I want to be alone!” 

Vi’s expression changed, seeing how Caitlyn looked, mirroring her. “You told me once that you should talk about things. Just returning the favor.” 

Irritated, Caitlyn wanted to just have her peace. “Who asked you to be nice to me?” 

“I don’t want to owe you any favors. So we’re even.” 

Caitlyn let out the breath that kept tension in her chest. “I always thought that if I was an enforcer, I could do good and help the city. But I didn’t realize that Piltover is all just smoke and mirrors, all appearances, and it’ll die trying to preserve that image.” She paced around. “Maybe Piltover does deserve to lose.” 

Caitlyn expected Vi to tease her about only realizing that now but her rival just watched her with a depth of emotion underneath her gaze. 

“All my life I hated not being given the choice. I renounced being a debutante, I didn’t want the path my parents had set out for me, to get married early, have kids and take my place in society because I wanted to have my own choice. To do good and be more than myself. I thought being an enforcer can help me realize that choice. But instead I became a collaborator in a pointless war that kills families. They told me it was good, it was all they ever spoke of, horrible actions wrapped in pretty words–  the only way Piltover knows how.  Is it really a choice if you didn’t really know what you were getting into?” 

“It’s not. You have every right to be mad.” 

She was hit with the sad realization of her mother’s last words that rainy night. “Mum was right. Nobody wins in war. It just takes and takes from you, your freedom, your time, your humanity.” 

“Believe me I know.” Vi offered. Caitlyn groaned, feeling so  incredibly helpless in that moment that she might start to disintegrate. 

Vi steadied her footing and held out her palms. “You know what helps when you’re mad? Try me.” 

Dots connected in Caitlyn’s head when she saw the determined look on the girl’s face and the position of her hands. Caitlyn knew the other girl was just trying to help but still – “I’m not doing that.” 

Vi’s reaction was deadpan. “You’re angry, you need release.” 

Caitlyn paid attention to her shortness of breath, how while sharing her thoughts had eased a little of her storm of emotion–but that had barely scratched the surface. She had nothing to lose. She closed her fist and made it connect with her rival’s open palm, the flat sound of flesh hitting flesh. 

She tried another punch, then another. All the years when she was told to keep it in, to never show emotion because it was never befitting someone like her. She punched. All of the stupid rules and traditions she always felt she had to conform to. Another punch. Her knuckles were starting to throb but she still threw punches. She didn’t know what kept her going, or why Vi didn’t stop her. 

Her fists started loosening up, sloppy punches now being thrown at her rival’s shoulders. But Vi took the blow. A sob was erupting from inside of her and she couldn’t stop. Knees gave way until she let her sob overcome her, years of suppressed tears streaming down. Vi had lowered herself next to her, still accepting the frustrated punches that were now no more than feeble slaps. 

Carefully, Vi had moved her hands from in front of her to slowly touch Caitlyn’s back. Caitlyn was too caught up in emotion and let gravity take its course until her head was leaning against Vi’s chest, swallowing her sobs. The streets and all the dismal gray buildings around them seemed to fade in the background, leaving just the two girls– both broken in their own way, taking what little solace the moment would offer them.  Silent actions speaking a multitude of words.

Chapter Text

Shift

They had felt it before either of them spoke about it. Something had shifted between the two of them since the day Caitlyn had cried in Vi’s arms. 

It was not everyday that Caitlyn met up with Vi. Sometimes she stayed at the countryside target range, other times she busied herself by reading archives in the library–trying to uncover anything written about the time machine, to little success. But this time, her mind wandered back to her rival. 

Was rival still the appropriate term? What rival would offer a shoulder to cry on? What rival would offer herself to be a punching bag? 

But solitude could be unbearable and Caitlyn found herself back at the planetarium, which had become their unspoken meeting place. Most days, Vi was also there as if this was the place that tethered the both of them. 

Neither of them had spoken more about it after that day, but Caitlyn knew it wasn't nothing. There was tension between them, and not the same as the distrust and disdain they had for one another from the start. That was loud, raging, fiery. This one was different, maybe more complicated because of how subtle it was–creeping slowly under her skin, burying itself, an itch that cannot be scratched. 

They did small talk like they learned how. What they did. What they ate. The little commonalities most people universally shared. But the whole time, Caitlyn was attentive to how Vi’s blue gray eyes were not this impassive look that she wore from the start. They were dilated, her gaze getting heavier. Caitlyn regretted her attentiveness because she did not need another thing to add to her growing thoughts. 

When the sun had set, Caitlyn stood up, ready to go back to Piltover. 

“Are you going home?” Vi stood up and held her stance as if she wanted to say something more. 

“Yeah.” 

Leaving the planetarium to go back to where they belonged was never a big thing. They would see each other again eventually. But Caitlyn felt that strange longing from the other girl, as if she wanted to savor every moment. 

Caitlyn waved goodbye and turned her back on the Zaunite. The walk back to her truck, she felt a tingling sensation in her nape as if she was being watched. Part of her wished Vi to tell her to stop. The other half chastised herself for entertaining such thoughts. 

Dangerous musings

Before Caitlyn was even thrust in the front of the war, before she was given the title of deputy, she had spent most of her days in the two-storey building that housed Piltover Station. In particular, they were spent in a small room where they usually did intelligence research. A wooden table in the middle of a room, a wall with an end-to-end blackboard with a collection of maps, papers, photographs that chronicled the extent of their research and intelligence gathering. 

Nobody asked her to stay beyond her work hours. It was something that Caitlyn did voluntarily. Maybe they will finally see that she is to be respected and taken seriously in the job. 

They were tasked with figuring out what the next plan of attack the insurgents had. Just months before, they had raided a warehouse full of goods in the warehouse district in the outskirts of the city. There was some sort of pattern but none of them were able to figure it out. 

Caitlyn in particular was tasked to just focus on one important piece in the research – learn more about Agent Red. While the proposition had seemed exciting at first, she soon realized it was a perplexing assignment. There was not much she could gather on Red and she was slippery– she was better skilled than most Zaunite goons the enforcers were able to capture. 

That night, she looked again at the manila folder holding her research. This much she knew about Red: she was born and raised in Zaun, she was a skilled fighter, she was young–possibly close to her age. Caitlyn flipped through the folder until she reached the paper that held the artist’s sketch of her foe. Rough charcoal strokes outlining a strong jaw, round eyes that carried a biting gaze, pointy hair swept to the side, lips that formed a permanent scowl. 

She couldn’t count the hours she has spent trying to learn more about her. To add to the growing frustration, Red and the insurgents have been getting bolder and bolder with each strike, taking the enforcers by surprise. Yet the only thing Caitlyn could do is stay holed in the station, pouring over mounts of research that never led to anywhere. If she could only be part of the force that was on the ground, if only she could put her marksmanship to use, maybe she can catch Red. 

But on that night, Caitlyn’s mind wandered toward Red. She knew she hated her just by virtue of being part of the insurgency. Marcus and everyone else in Piltover always made a show about how dangerous the rebels were, but sometimes Caitlyn couldn't help but wonder what she was like? Underneath the fighter, who was she? How did she spend her nights? Did she know there was someone in Piltover bent on tracking her down? These were questions that bothered her just as much as finding out about their next move. 

Distractions 

Caitlyn didn’t come back to the planetarium for days. She knew she was looking for a distraction. Only this time, she wasn’t distracting herself from the circumstance, but also the terrifying way part of her wanted to see Vi, that yearned for her. 

She had sat by a coffee shop window in the bustling part of Piltover that was left. She felt the mug in her hands go cold each time, before she asked for another refill from the waitress. 

She racked her brain the last time she had paid attention to her feelings. It was difficult– there was this sense of nostalgia for the parts of herself she had lost trying to win the war. She barely saw friends, family, and devoted most of her time to the cause. Would she be a much different person if she had put herself over her duty? 

It was too late for that. 

She closed her eyes and thought back to the time when Vi was still her rival–the insurgent who managed to elude and keep them second guessing. The simpler days when what was right and wrong was just something that was told to her.  

She tried to remember the fiery hatred she had for someone who had contributed to what kept Piltover broken– but this didn’t mean much anymore. Piltover had trained her from birth to hate people like Vi. Which part of that hatred came from her and which came from the values they instilled? Vi had been just as disillusioned from the Zaun she was fighting for as Caitlyn did. What did that make them? 

There were no rule books for the territory they were charting–morality a bit in between in the same way they existed outside of time. 

All her thoughts distracted her from the fact that her coffee had gone cold again. 

Drinks 

Days passed and Caitlyn knew she had to bite the bullet. As expected, she had seen Vi lounging around at the planetarium’s viewing deck, throwing and catching a small ball repeatedly in her hands. Vi got to her feet when she saw Caitlyn approach. 

“Can we talk? Not here.” Vi nodded at her words. 

Caitlyn walked off, Vi quickly at her heels. Caitlyn made sure to stay ahead, she felt how quick her resolve might break if she let Vi match her pace or let Vi see her face. Her feet brought her to a smaller street where Piltover’s old pub district lay. It wasn’t that long ago when this area had fallen into no man’s land, the buildings less covered in ash, paint still not chipped off. Caitlyn opened one of the old establishment doors to reveal a small bar, a single row of booths and a bar counter. There were a few bottles left on the shelves, items that survived the looting. 

Caitlyn reached to one of the brandy bottles, wiping the layer of dust with her sleeve to see if it was still safe to consume. She got two glasses and wiped them with her blouse, knowing there was no more water in this part of town. Vi had taken a seat at the booth closest to the wall, where Caitlyn soon followed with the brandy and the empty glasses. 

When Caitlyn had poured on both glasses, she took a quick sip, downing the glass of alcohol that had left a burning trail down her throat. She hated the taste but she needed a little push if she was going to talk about this. 

“Why’d you bring me here?” Vi motioned to the glass she was swirling in her hand. 

“I wanted a drink.” 

“Didn’t know you could let loose,” Vi said. She bobbed her head as if there were some music she was hearing, still swirling the glass. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Caitlyn did not need to answer, instead started with what she had rehearsed in her mind. She cleared her throat and set her hand down. “This has got to stop. Whatever this is.” 

Vi’s hand stopped swirling the glass, and set it back on the table. She leaned back, resting an arm across the booth seat in that cool manner she did anything. “What is?” 

“Don’t tell me I’m the only one who can see it. This .” Caitlyn motioned to the space between them. As soon as she spoke the words, Vi let out a sigh. 

“Is it because you’re scared?” Vi raised an eyebrow, still not losing that bravado in her demeanor. 

“Excuse me?” 

“What are we, tell me. Why does it scare you?” Vi was challenging her, she had that same tone whenever they used to butt heads in old conversations. 

Caitlyn felt it settle in her stomach. Vi was right, if they were nothing then she wouldn’t even be bothered. Caitlyn could either put up a front or be truthful, but part of her felt Vi could already read her too well. “I don’t know, okay? We’re two people stuck in an impossible situation, there’s nothing normal about this.” 

“Is it because while you have changed, there’s still this part of you that refuses to admit that you feel something for somebody like me?” Caitlyn suddenly couldn’t meet Vi’s eyes. There was something about the way Vi said ‘somebody like me’ that grieved Caitlyn. She knew part of what the other girl said was true, but why was she still fighting it? What was she scared of? 

Exasperated, Vi leaned forward. “Our situation is not normal, but how we feel is. I have thought for days and weeks about it. I have wrestled with it, I tried to run away from it. I wanted to hate you. But everyday just leads me back there,” she pointed her arm in the direction of the planetarium, “There’s this strong connection I feel, and all directions lead me back to you. I’m done fighting this.”

“I wanted to hate you. I wanted to hate you the way I hated things that stood in the way of Zaun’s freedom. I wanted to hate you because you’re an enforcer and my parents and my people were killed by people like you. But I’m also not blind to see that we both have changed. We’re not the same person we were when this started.” Vi’s voice was taut, her eyes darting back and forth from Caitlyn’s to the glass of brandy in front of her. 

“When I close my eyes,” Caitlyn started. “All I think about is you, what you’re doing, how you’re doing. During those times that got you killed, I felt it. I know it didn’t matter because the next day we were waking up, but I hated the feeling–it was like part of my soul was being torn apart.”

Those words made Vi’s upper lip, the part with the tiny scar, move up in a half open smile of relief. 

“What will become of– us ?” There was this comfort in knowing that Vi had also grappled with it the same way she did. But that day, Caitlyn’s heart still couldn’t rest easy.  Saying the word ‘us’ sent a shiver down her back, just like that day on the bridge. 

“I don’t know. We can figure it out along the way but I just know that I can’t live my days on and on and never know, never even try. “ Vi’s eyes looked lost but there was this innate determination in the way she spoke. 

Vi’s hand rested, half open on the table. Caitlyn slowly reached out and turned it over, met her palm against hers, fingers interlacing. They were hands Caitlyn realized she had longed to know the feeling in hers– clammy and calloused, they were a fighter’s hands. But they were also hands that could protect, the way she made Caitlyn feel that day when she had broken down with only Vi’s hands to comfort her. 

Without speaking, they both had felt it. It was the answer each of them needed, the way their fingers seemed to fit into each other’s perfectly like it was by heavenly design. And just like that, they both knew fighting it was over. 

Love and Hate

A hotel room, two bodies both aching in mutual desire. 

The lights were dim, leaving nothing except for the faint glow of the streets in the red light district of Piltover through the thin curtains. But all Caitlyn could think of was the feeling of Vi’s lips in her, how she tasted, different from anything she had ever come across. That night she wanted to know her more in the way only bodies could do. 

Never parting lips, Vi in one swift move took off her red canvas jacket. Caitlyn had to peel her lips to see every line, every trace of the other girl’s biceps, the way they curled in places, the glimpse of the black tattoos that ran behind her arms. Vi’s lips were going down from her jaw down to her neck. Caitlyn’s hand went up to Vi’s hair, letting her fingers claw at her hair. They had come here for one thing and they both knew it. 

The burning desire inside Caitlyn brought her back to unmarked days whenever she wanted to get away momentarily from her duty and she had taken girls in bars to nondescript hotels like this. But this was different. Vi was different. 

One moment she was pinned against the wall and the next Vi was unbuttoning her blouse hastily. They had ended up on the bed, Caitlyn underneath she shrugged off what was left of her blouse. Vi’s lips were still on hers while her hand went down touching at her waist until she felt it. 

Vi had to pull back to see what she made contact with until she saw it– a diagonal scar that ran across Caitlyn’s abdomen from under her breast down to her navel, lumpy pink flesh, the price of war. Caitlyn had forgotten of its existence, the aftereffect of one of her first missions on the field, it had become a part of her that she just accepted–other enforcers had it worse. But in front of Vi she felt completely naked, that was until Vi took off her frayed tank top and guided Caitlyn’s hands on her back. Caitlyn didn’t understand at first until she felt them underneath her defined muscles, a dozen scars on her back, jagged flesh that never healed properly. In an exchange of vulnerabilities, Vi was telling her she was just the same. Two beings both damaged in war, just yearning for connection. 

Not once exchanging words, they had let their bodies speak, taking over. She paid attention to the way her body woke up with each tender touch, as if all her life she had been slumbering and waiting for this moment. All Caitlyn could see was red– her hair, the fiery heat of the moment, the way her vision appeared as she alternated looking between Vi’s face and the painted ceiling above. Vi kissed her lips, her jaw, trailing down her neck. Each time her chest grazed against hers, or their centers touched, only divided by a few layers of clothing, Caitlyn throbbed in response. She wanted more. She wanted all of her. 

But Caitlyn wasn’t done– she pushed Vi back down, this time straddling on top of her, much to the surprise in the other girl’s face. In a brief moment, Caitlyn took in all of her. Her full upper lip that held a small scar; her wide rounded eyes that sometimes looked blue and other times gray–the perfect storm; the stupid way her reddish pink hair that now looked burgundy in the dark that fell on one side of her face; her strong jaw line; that black tattoo that decorated the side of her neck. 

She tethered this fine line of being both beautiful and handsome in a way that made Caitlyn’s insides turn to jelly–one of the first things she noticed about the girl. That evening, Caitlyn decided she was beautiful. 

There was no other word to describe how she saw the other girl before her. She was struggling to come to terms with the fact that not long ago, she was a face that she hated with all of her being. But Caitlyn’s resolve wasn’t that strong anymore. She was done fighting. 

Locking lips again with the girl, the taste she can now never forget. She felt Vi’s hand held her thigh tightly. She paid attention to how her own hand was slowly darting down, tracing Vi’s toned abdomen until she reached lower and lower.  Hands that used to fight discovering they were also made to love.  Hands that had been trained to shoot discovering they were made to love. 

How can beauty be born of something treacherous? How can love be born of such hate? 

Constellations 

One evening, Vi had asked her to stay for a little longer at the planetarium so that they could see the stars. The viewing deck did have a good unobscured view of the stars so after a long day of more target practice, Caitlyn lay down on the floor next to Vi from the old blankets in the back of Caitlyn’s truck. 

“Do you know the constellations?” Caitlyn asked. To Caitlyn, they were nothing more than star patterns, a collection of clouds of dust in the sky. But she knew it must have meant something more to Vi. 

“Only some. I can tell you that’s my favorite one.” Vi pointed to the top right corner where there was a faint fleck of stars in a pattern. It was obviously hard to appreciate without a working telescope but Caitlyn just nodded. “Those two squiggly ones that look like S’s? My father told me about it one time and I can’t forget it.” Caitlyn knew it was hard for Vi to talk about the people she had lost but part of her was happy she could share this at least. 

 “A Piltovan scientist discovered it many years ago. The stars form opposite S’s, matching each other. ‘The lovers’ was what he called it. But everyone knew it was based on the legend about two lovers destined to be together no matter how far apart they were.” 

“What’s the story?”

“They were both of different planets, but once every year, the planets would align somehow, creating this bridge between them. That’s when the lovers had met. Legend says that their connection was so intense that they never wanted to go back to their respective worlds. But eventually they had to. Everyone on their planets told them to forget the other, such a love couldn’t exist. But by the next alignment, they had waited for each other and it's as if time didn’t pass them by. On and on it went and it seemed that they had lived forever, spanning hundreds and even thousands of years.” Vi said. “It’s just a story, I don’t believe something like that happened but it’s nice to think about.” 

“Why do you like it so much?” To Caitlyn, constellations were just stars the same way mountains were just rock. 

Vi shrugged. “I like the idea of soulmates and destiny. I know it sounds very cheesy.” 

“No it’s not.” Caitlyn put her hand on top of Vi’s, a smile on her face at seeing yet another side to the girl she was falling faster and faster in love with. 

“It reminds me of us.” Vi said. 

Us . A word that never fails to bring warmth inside Caitlyn. Comfortable silence hung in the air surrounding them both. 

“Cait,” A nickname Vi had used on her to which Caitlyn didn’t object to despite never needing a nickname before. “Do you ever wonder why it had to be us? Like out of all the people in Piltover and Zaun it had to be us who went here and got stuck in time?” 

“It just–happened I guess.” 

“Is it wrong to say that out of all the people to be stuck in this for eternity, I’m glad it had to be you?” There was uncertainty in her voice, a look Caitlyn had not seen before. 

Caitlyn turned to her side.  Vi mirrored her position until they were both lying on their side, facing one another. 

“I felt so lonely when I found out. It was like I couldn’t breathe and I was being swallowed whole as I faded into existence. But somehow I forget about it when we’re together.” Caitlyn admitted. “I hate this part of me still can’t shake the fact that this is wrong, but how could something be wrong and feel like the easiest, most natural thing in the world? It was as if this was always meant to happen.” 

“Maybe it’s not us who’s wrong. Maybe they’re wrong.” Vi gently stroked her cheek. “We’re all just two halves of one whole. Piltover, Zaun. You, Me.”

Caitlyn always thought they were beings born to fight the war. But maybe they were also beings designed for connection, for love, for humanity– this much she had learned from the days and days she and Vi had spent getting to know each other. 

Without further words, Vi leaned in close, Catlyn following until their distance turned from inches, to centimeters, to nothing. 

Maybe science was wrong, and this was how constellations were formed. 

First encounter  

On her first ground operation, Caitlyn couldn’t believe she was being asked to patrol the perimeter of the warehouse district. On one hand, she couldn’t complain–getting to hold her rifle was better than sitting helpless at her desk, but she knew she could do more. 

It was near midnight and she was with two or three enforcers, dressed in standard issue uniforms as they walked the mapped route around the streets that encircled the giant warehouses that held most of Piltover’s trade goods. She was getting restless, tired even, from rounding the same street for the fourth time. Then they saw it, an explosion at the last warehouse in the street, then shouts. 

Caitlyn took off running alongside her fellow enforcers until they had reached the warehouse, erupting in flames from a hole in the roof. The door had been bolted open, they entered to see that it was a warehouse that stored fruits of all shapes and sizes, now ransacked. There were a bunch of Zaunites, shocked at the intrusion, wearing ragged clothing and boots that had to be taped or it’ll fall apart. They started running, a bunch of fruits rolling off from their hands and rucksacks. 

“Get them!” Instructed the senior enforcer.

The radio of one of the enforcers chimed. “Reports that Agent Red is in the area. Please proceed with caution, I repeat–please proceed with caution.” 

The other enforcer gave Caitlyn a nod of the head and so they had split up. She decided to start with the warehouses by the south side, while he started with the north facing ones. The locks were intact as she passed by each of them until she saw this last warehouse with an open lock dangling on the door. She carefully took it out and pushed the door open. 

It was dark, save for the light seeping through the glass windows on the higher parts of the warehouse. She saw crates covered in cloth– it was a warehouse that contained alcohol of all sorts. She walked past the rows and rows of crates until she saw it, a single green apple on the floor. 

Caitlyn cocked her gun, in a position ready to fire as she walked deeper inside the warehouse. She heard the sound of a footstep and shot at the wooden palette underneath the crate. She wasn’t scared. 

Then she saw it, a figure running, and disappearing in the adjacent hallway of the warehouse that led to the offices. She ran after the insurgent until she saw another figure standing at the open doorway in the end. Just a silhouette from the night light, Caitlyn knew it was Red. From the outline of her gauntlets, the spiky hair. 

She aimed her rifle. “Drop your weapons now!” 

Red’s silhouette didn’t budge or show any sign of being scared of the threat. Instead she turned around, and giving one last glance back, face still covered in shadow, raised a small device. Caitlyn too late realized it was a detonator, faint beeps suddenly registered as she followed its origin above her, crude metal parts fashioned into a bomb, spray painted, and stuck to the wooden scaffolding that supported the warehouse. The last thing she remembered was Red disappearing at the open door as heaven rained down on her. 

Indefinite 

“Something’s different with you,” Jayce straightened his back, his hand on his chin as he stared at Caitlyn. 

“What?” 

“You seem happy, there’s this weird glow around you,” he gestured with his hand like he was swatting a fly. His eyes suddenly widened. “You’re in love aren’t you?” 

Caitlyn felt the heat rise to her cheeks. There was no escaping Jayce’s keen eye–they had known each other since she was twelve. “I might be.” 

Jayce took a seat opposite her, leaning close. “So who’s she? Who’s the lucky girl, when are you going to introduce her to me?” 

In a second maybe Caitlyn regretted confiding to her friend. How does one begin to explain?

“Maybe not anytime soon.” Caitlyn kept her eyes glued to the cup of coffee she had in her hands. “But yeah it’s been great.” 

“What’s she like?” He had that expectant grin on, the way he looked when showing others his inventions. 

“Very different from me– impulsive, adventurous, never backs down from a fight. But she’s a good person, her heart is in the right place. She has this authenticity I can’t find anywhere else. She’s the realest person I know.” Caitlyn still struggled with the right words to properly encompass the person that was Vi. 

“Sounds like you two would get along perfectly then. But if she breaks your heart, she’d be hearing from me.” Jayce pointed to his chest with his thumb, making Caitlyn roll her eyes. “But seriously I’d love to meet her sometime.” 

“Yeah, sometime.” 

The lake

Caitlyn watched as Vi jumped off the low jut of rock that opened to the lake. With a loud splash, Vi’s head popped out of the water as she swam to where Caitlyn was. Caitlyn had disapproved of how reckless Vi was but she held that thought and cupped the other woman’s face in hers and gave her a kiss. There was something so captivating with Vi when they went swimming, the way her usually spiky hair had instead hung damp behind her ears, clinging to the base of her neck. 

It was Vi that had discovered the lake on their frequent trips to the countryside and now they cannot get enough of the place. 

“Tell me about your childhood.” Vi said, that gaze in her eyes that told Caitlyn she was ready to listen. 

And so Caitlyn had told her. The trips to the countryside when she’d go shooting with her father. The occasional times they went as a family to bird watch even when her mother hated the outdoors. The warm Christmas nights she’d spend by their fireplace listening to stories her father would tell her. 

“I always imagined what it would be like growing up in Pitover.” Vi said. “We had fun running through piles of junk in scrapyards–who can make the best sled to get them to the bottom the fastest. That kind of stuff.” 

“As long as it’s fun, that’s what matters.” Caitlyn reassured. 

Vi seemed to ponder for a bit before her eyes lit up again. “Jump with me? Please?” 

Caitlyn frowned but there was something about the way Vi wore those puppy eyes when she wanted to get her way–something she could never resist for the life of her. She relented and Vi pulled her as they swam out of the river to the rock. Vi wore nothing but her tank top and boxers which clung to her chiseled body, damp as she got out the water. Caitlyn’s tailored clothes were too heavy in the water so in the end she was just in her underwear, the cold air hit her as soon as she left the water, sending goosebumps on her skin. Vi took her hand as they stood on top of the rock. 

Vi turned to her, those encouraging eyes making Caitlyn feel like she could conquer the world just with her by her side. “Ready?” 

“No.” 

Vi smiled, taking her other hand. “We’re doing it together. Don’t worry.” 

Caitlyn peered below her, seeing the blue-green lake a bit higher than what she was used to. 

“Hey,” Vi tugged her both her hands, making Caitlyn look at her. “Just look at me. Don’t think about anything else. You trust me?” 

“Of course.” 

Three. Two. One. Vi leapt off the rock, Caitlyn leaping off a split second after her. The cold water of the lake ripped through Caitlyn as she jumped feet-first. It was an impact she wasn’t prepared for but what tethered her was Vi’s strong grip in her arm. She would find her way back to the surface. Everything will be okay. 

Rave

Caitlyn watched in awe at the mass of bodies moving together in one cohesive unit to the loud thumping of the bass that almost blasted her eardrums. She hadn’t seen anything like it, the underground room smelling of sweat, chemicals, and alcohol. This was yet one of the new sights she had seen only in Zaun. 

She pulled at the hood she wore– ragtag clothes Vi had fished for her to disguise herself in Zaun. 

“Let’s join them.” Vi pulled at her hand, the only thing familiar to her in that dingy underground room. 

“But I–don’t know the steps.” Caitlyn felt herself blushing. She hated dancing, it reminded her too much of those banquets she attended growing up. As much as she hated the act, she had to memorize the steps to avoid any embarrassment. Diving headfirst into dance was something out of the question for her.

Vi chuckled. “There are no steps, cupcake.” 

“Then how–do they know what to do?” 

Vi thought for a second before pressing herself almost close to her, placing one hand on top of Caitlyn’s beating chest. “You hear how it’s almost beating to the rhythm? Just follow that, let go. You’ll get the hang of it.” 

Vi went deeper in the crowd, Caitlyn at her heels until they were shoulder to shoulder with the other people at the bar. Caitlyn had never been this close to a crowd of people before, there was something unnerving about it, catching the scents of others, feeling their sticky skin. Vi held her hand the way she usually did, letting Caitlyn just focus on the other girl. 

Vi was unfazed, letting herself sway to the music, her head bobbing up and down. Caitlyn tried to mirror her movements, until she felt that tension in her shoulders loosen up. Soon enough, Caitlyn felt a smile on her face. Vi was right, it was a nice feeling. 

Vi then did the unimaginable. She grabbed her face in her hands and planted a kiss on her lips. Caitlyn froze, not used to displaying affection publicly. When Vi pulled back Caitlyn looked to her sides, awaiting people staring but nobody did, each person absorbed in their own dance. The serene bubble that she and Vi shared in a room full of people in the dancefloor was something she wouldn't trade for the world. 

Scars 

Caitlyn had her head in her hands at the small one-bedroom apartment she had in downtown Piltover. It was the weekend off from staying in the front, but somehow work had found its way towards her–boxes full of files in manila folders detailing incident reports and reports of the latest insurgent activity. In fact, it was her superior’s suggestion that she take it easy but Caitlyn couldn’t peel herself from duty when it was so etched in her bones. 

Maybe part of it was this weird sense of guilt. Not long ago, she had gotten into an incident that left her waking up a month later in the infirmary with no recollection of the events that led up to it. 

Caitlyn pulled herself from the chair, standing in front of the full body mirror on the wall. She slowly unbuttoned her blouse, dreading the sight of the raised puckered tissue that went from underneath her breast down to her belly button. 

The wound had long healed, but for Caitlyn it was a constant reminder of events that did not exist in her memory. If she was a hero like how everyone had called her afterwards, why didn’t it feel like it? Why did she have to suffer for it while the insurgents got away unscathed? Why didn’t the stories involve her being a marksman, putting her skills to good use? 

Unlike her companions who wore their marks from the war with pride and dignity, hers was a mark that bore down on her–yet another ever growing reputation to live up to. It was a mark of what she was unable to do– something that filled her with shame. The difference in how other people saw her versus how she saw herself was something Caitlyn could not cope with. She could not even bring herself to tell her parents because that would affirm their reservations about letting her stay on the ground instead of holed up in the station. The only way she could stop those thoughts were if she poured herself into work, repeating the cycle. 

She paced around until she saw the open folder on her desk, the one that showed the artist’s depiction of Red. Red–the faceless phantom that’s been taking up unwanted space in her mind even when her duty was done for the day.  Red, who she wondered about when she was the only one left in the station–thoughts she was scared to share with anyone else. 

No, she had to hate her. People like her threatened everything her people stood for. She wanted to feel the hate the way she heard her peers talk about Zaunites like they were less than human. But much like the shame in scars others found pride in, her disdain for aristocratic traditions her family found value in, she found herself at odds. The lack of resolve on her part really made her feel an outsider in the war she had sworn to fight. 

Equilibrium 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Vi leaned against the railing of the abandoned roofdeck of a Piltover hotel. Caitlyn had been staring, transfixed at a distance when she was deep in thought. 

“Do you ever think that it’s just unfair that we get to have this,” Caitlyn gestured to the both of them. “But we’re not enough to stop the war.” 

Vi knew where she was going. In their much earlier days, they had tried to see if they could change anything. They had tried working on their own, Caitlyn to the council and Vi standing up against Silco. But then they started getting bolder with their attempts. 

Vi had brought Caitlyn to Zaun, in front of the headquarters where Silco had been. They tried negotiating for a truce, for Zaun to lay down their arms. Half of the time, it ended up with Caitlyn getting killed or thrown in their prison before the day reset. The reverse had been true, Caitlyn leveraged her position as deputy.  When Vi was brought into the equation, it didn’t help–everyone in Piltover viewed her as a dangerous target that had to be taken down. They had tried arranging for each of their sides to meet at no man’s land, but it had ended up the same–bloodshed. It was disheartening to see it happen again and again that they had not bothered since. 

“If we’re the best example that peace can grow between our cities, it’s only fair that we can stop the war.” Caitlyn insisted. 

“All my years in Zaun taught me that the world is anything but fair. It often doesn’t make sense the more you try to make sense of it.” Vi was careful with her words. 

Caitlyn did not seem satisfied with the answer, Vi choosing to wrap her arms behind her, kissing her where her neck met her shoulder. “Both can exist. We can be happy with what we have and be sad about the war. What we’re doing doesn’t mean we’re forgetting what’s really happening.” 

Caitlyn felt the tension in her shoulders collapse at the show of affection, the way only Vi knew how to do. “Do you wonder what’s happening out there? Outside our bubble? Who’s winning the war? Did we both die?” 

Vi who used to rub in her face that Zaun would win, replied with uncertainty. “I’m not sure.” 

They didn’t speak any further about the topic that brought forth more questions than answers. 

Reversal 

Vi had an eye for adventure, something Caitlyn couldn’t share but she followed her anyway. There was an infinite number of things that they could do in their situation. 

They had wandered deep in the countryside forest where there was a modest sized cliff made of gray rock that offered a good view of the woods at its peak. Vi had insisted they climb it–she was already halfway when she turned and encouraged Caitlyn to follow. 

It wasn’t that Caitlyn wasn’t athletic but she didn’t seek the same thrill of danger that Vi did. Still, her hands found the right rocks to grab to hoist herself up, her feet shakily finding the footing. Vi had already reached the top and was dusting her hands on her faded trousers. It took Caitlyn halfway until she looked down, her big mistake. She felt her stomach go queasy–she had a long way down. 

Vi saw this immediately and reached out her hand despite being a few meters above her. Caitlyn’s palms grew sweaty. She made the mistake where to lodge her foot next, sending rock flying until her foot gave way. She couldn’t carry her weight, feeling herself slipping. Vi was shouting for her but she was too late. She lost grip and fell. Then nothingness. 

The next day when Caitlyn had met Vi in the abandoned streets of abandoned Piltover, Vi crushed her into a hug, her voice the closest to a sob she had ever heard from the girl. “Cait I’m so sorry. If you’re not sure about something, we won’t go through with it I promise.” 

Lying together at the back of Caitlyn’s truck later that evening, Vi spoke. “I felt it. What you talked about. For a second that feeling of something being ripped apart from under me, my world turning upside down.” 

Vi stroked her cheek. “If that’s what it feels like to lose you, I don’t want it.” 

Caitlyn buried herself deeper in Vi’s chest, letting the rise and fall of her chest match hers. 

Trace of you

Lying in makeshift beds in the planetarium’s viewing deck, Caitlyn turned on her side to face Vi, her eyes adjusting to the dark. Spending nights like that had become common for them ever since they had gotten together. It was nice to spend nights with Vi and not go home separately in their own ways. 

Despite that bravado she had, it was only when sleeping when she saw Vi vulnerable, almost child-like. Caitlyn cherished that. Under the dark blue sky, it wasn’t completely pitch black and she could see her outline, tracing lines from her arms, the shape of her face. 

Caitlyn knew how this ended. She had been with Vi for long enough, too long that she had lost count and lost track of time itself. Part of her throbbed in longing. As much as they can have the night, by morning it was all gone. She wondered if she would ever wake up next to her–her lover, her partner, her soulmate –as Vi had called her. 

Vi turned to her side until she faced her, still asleep. Caitlyn tried desperately to memorize everything about her partner. The face she once only knew by a charcoal drawing that couldn’t capture all her best parts. Her memory had failed her once, she was determined not to let it happen again. 

The scar on her eyebrow, on her upper lip. Her pierced nose. The freckles running along her cheeks and nose. The shape of her jaw. The woman she had sworn she would hate, who she had come to love. 

Vi’s eyes gently fluttered open. When she realized how intently Caitlyn was watching her, her hand instinctively laced with hers. 

“What are you doing?” Vi’s voice was playful despite being half asleep. 

“I just don’t want to lose you.” Caitlyn didn’t peel her eyes from her partner. 

“You won’t.” Vi shut her eyes again, squeezing her hand tight. “I’m here.” 

But ‘here’ was relative much like time was for them. One second Caitlyn was memorizing her partner, then next, nothingness. 

Fields of violet

A gentle breeze, the smell of grass in the springtime, small insects floating around. That afternoon, Caitlyn had taken Vi to the countryside–to the part where she had fond memories sitting down in the grass, feeling the summer air around her, letting herself become one with nature like her father had taught her. 

With the sun partly hiding behind the white clouds, it was just right, the perfect afternoon. Caitlyn set herself down on the part of the ground that sloped into a hill. She had stopped wearing her enforcer outfit since, opting to wear her family’s traditional tailored blue and white garments. Vi had taken the spot next to her, letting her weight crash down on the grass. 

Caitlyn gently lowered herself until she lay there in the grass. Vi looked at her funny before doing the same. Caitlyn was appreciating the vast light blue expanse of the sky before her, when Vi quickly got up to disappear down the slope of the hill. 

Caitlyn sat back up and watched as Vi came back moments later, looking delighted. She sat back down beside her, showing Caitlyn what she had in her hands. They were purple flowers, with four petals each. Caitlyn knew them immediately– violets. 

Vi gently brushed a lock of Caitlyn’s hair behind her ear and placed it tucked on her ear. Caitlyn never saw herself as beautiful– she was rich, smart, and came from a respected family. These were all words she had heard growing up and beautiful was never one of them. But Vi made her feel beautiful in a way that makes flowers inside of her bloom. 

They lay back down. Caitlyn turned her head to watch the other girl. Vi had put the flowers between her lips before blowing them, sending petals tumbling down her face and onto the grass. Caitlyn laughed at the silly gesture. 

There was something striking about the way her bright pink hair contrasted the cool color of the grass. The way her freckles seemed to appear more visible with the sunlight. The way her eyes, blue-gray suddenly turned brighter as if to match the color of the sky.  Caitlyn felt it was unfair that only she had the privilege of seeing how beautiful the Zaunite was, in all her imperfections. 

For once she was thankful she had forever to bask in her presence. Lying side by side in a field of grass, there was no place she’d want to be than with her favorite person. Her Violet. 

Hundred years

That was how it started between them. In a world where everyone forgets, only the two of them remembered and lived their lives the best they could with what they were given. 

Caitlyn learned everything about Vi– from the way she liked her food in the morning, her different workout regimens, the strong love she has for her sister, the burden of being the older sibling, the hard life in Zaun. The more she opened up, the more Caitlyn realized that there was nobody in Piltover like her. In a city that let Caitlyn down for its appearances, it was only fitting that she fell in love with someone for their authenticity. 

Caitlyn had also opened up parts of herself she didn’t dare share with anyone, not her parents, not even Jayce. All her years of wanting to be seen– that she was more than just her family name, that she was more than just a marksman prodigy, and it took someone on the wrong side of the tracks to see it. 

Most nights were not spent returning back to the barracks or back to Zaun, but together. Oftentimes it was at the planetarium, the place where they’d usually meet, but sometimes it was at some of the other places in Piltover, Zaun, and the countryside– familiar and unfamiliar places they created themselves. They spent every waking moment with each other until the day expired, just to start again.

Time had become nothing but a construct. 

When two beings are not bound by time, they have a lifetime of memories together. 

Chapter Text

Dawn on the sea 

One of their newfound discovered spots– a small patch of beach just off the coast of Piltover. It wasn’t good enough to be a tourist destination– the sand was mostly gray, mixing with gravel, and the view wasn’t the best but for what it was, Caitlyn was happy with it. They were laying side by side on top of the old cloth stored in the back of the enforcer truck Caitlyn had taken for herself. 

“Do you think about the future?” Vi spoke as she watched the distant horizon, still blue gray as dawn was just about to break. 

“Not really. There’s not really a future here, just the present. For me that’s enough.” 

Vi nodded, in such a way that the answer left her unsatisfied. Caitlyn had come to know her mannerisms so well. “Why’d you ask?” 

“I think about it a lot. Like before this all happened. Did you have plans about your future before?” Vi subtly shifted her head towards her, eyes still glued to the horizon. 

Caitlyn thought back to her past. It was getting hard to remember more details from the past as they had seemed so far away. But thinking of the future she had wanted for herself also left her drawing blank. 

“I guess I just wanted to do good and be happy. I was so absorbed in the war, doing my best in my position that I never really gave it much thought about what I’d do after. Maybe just retire happily knowing I did what I could to help. Though now looking back, that intention is well misplaced.” Caitlyn gazed at her partner. “You?” 

Vi smiled as if the thought she had was silly. “Before, when the war was over and we got our freedom, I wanted to live a good life. Settle down in one of those nice apartments that had a nice view of the city through the balcony. Get married. Have a kid or two. Grow old and happy.” Vi’s voice had thinned, vulnerable thoughts she hadn’t shared with Caitlyn before. 

“I never would have thought.” Caitlyn found herself smiling at her partner. She took her hand in hers. “It does sound nice, what you said.” 

Now that Vi had said it, it was the most natural of things. How could she not want the same? Yet there was this heartache deep in Caitlyn’s chest that these were things Vi would not get, these were things she could not give her partner. Unable to leave a mark such as home, a womb that would never bear a child, a body that will never age. 

It seemed that Vi knew this too. She cleared her throat and pulled Caitlyn close to her, making her head rest against her broad shoulder. “Come imagine with me for a sec. Any wedding preference?” 

Caitlyn frowned. “No big ceremonies. Just a few friends maybe, if it’s just us I won’t mind. I hate events like this.” 

“Me too. Beach wedding just the two of us sounds nice?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Preference for kids?” 

“Hmm…not too much. Two sounds nice, one boy and one girl.” 

“Names?” 

“Tobias for the boy, after my father. And for the girl…Violet.” 

Vi smiled. “Yeah, those would be good.” 

Then silence fell between both of them–the painful reality raining back down on them. Caitlyn couldn’t take the conversation further, she felt the sadness from her partner’s body emanate next to her. 

Caitlyn nuzzled her neck further in her partner’s shoulder. “Hey, we’ll always have each other.” Vi just pulled her closer, needing her like the air they breathed. 

They watched the dawn break together, the slow rising of the dark orange, vibrant against the gray sky. It was breathtaking each time and there was nobody Caitlyn would wish to spend it with than with the woman she loved the most. In a world of change, things like dawn on the sea were among the few constants. Caitlyn thought of the past–nothing more than a distant memory, and the future–an impossibility. But she will always have the present, and in the present was where she had Vi had an eternity for themselves. There was comfort in that. 

Visitor

“You’re in love with who?” Jayce looked like he was about to faint. 

Caitlyn chuckled. “I told you, she’s from Zaun. We used to be enemies but that was quite some time ago. But we have long changed.” 

Jayce crashed on his couch, having a crisis as his eyes kept darting in so many directions. 

“I brought her here because I want you to meet her actually.” Caitlyn added. “I actually went back and forth about whether I should but since you’re my best friend Jayce, I can’t not share this with you.” 

Jayce let out a shoot of breath and nodded his head. Jayce was always good at keeping himself more composed than how he really felt. “Yeah, I’d love to meet her. Any girlfriend of Caitlyn’s is a friend of mine.” 

Caitlyn welcomed Vi, who was leaning against the door of Jayce’s apartment. Vi quickly took in the surroundings of a typical upper Piltovan apartment as she joined Caitlyn in the couch across Jayce. Caitlyn’s friend had looked unsure how to go about the introductions when Vi shot out her hand in front of him, Jayce quickly reciprocating the handshake. 

“Nice to finally meet you. Caitlyn tells me a lot about you.” 

“You’re not gonna get mad at me for being the inventor of the time machine are you?” he said through gritted teeth. 

“You’re kidding? It’s thanks to you that we even met.” Vi, arm extending on top of the couch, already in her element. 

For a long time, Caitlyn wondered about her worlds colliding–the one she shared with Vi and the one she had before the loop. Seeing Vi and Jayce in the same room was affirmation of that thought. 

Ghosts of memory 

They had strolled the abandoned section of Piltover which consisted mostly of downtown and the outskirts area. They had reached a bend that opened up to the old warehouse district before it got relocated closer to the capital. 

As they walked deeper among the warehouses, most of them with roofs caved in–signs of pillage and thievery evident over the years. As they walked through one warehouse whose roof was entirely torn over save for the remains of rotten wooden scaffolding holding the structure flimsily. Caitlyn stopped in her tracks. 

“What’s wrong?” Vi, forever attuned. 

Caitlyn frowned. “This place is so familiar to me. I’ve been here before.”

Vi kicked at the scraps of metal and wood in the floor. “For work?” 

Caitlyn leaned against the remaining cement wall. “I can’t remember that night though, just fuzzy bits and pieces. Some running, screaming. The next thing I knew, I woke up in the infirmary.” She let out a lame chuckle. “Funny right, they call me brave and a hero. But I can’t remember any of it.”

“Is that how you got your–” Vi pointed with her chin towards her abdomen. 

Caitlyn nodded. 

It was as if the color washed from Vi’s face. She suddenly turned her back to her. “Let’s get out of here.” 

Caitlyn didn’t have the urgency as her partner so Vi stormed off towards the open street. Caitlyn jogged to keep up. “What’s the matter with you?” 

When Vi was in a mood, it was drastically obvious. She turned to Caitlyn, her face in distress. “How would you feel if you knew I had hurt you before?”

Caitlyn’s eyes were set on Vi’s as if they held all the answers in the world. She could feel how much resentment and guilt there was in her partner even without speaking.  Words were sparse in her mouth, “We wouldn’t have known–”

Vi’s jaw was squared. “Cait, I gave you that scar.”  

Caitlyn felt her stomach do a flip. For years she had wondered what exactly happened that night when there was nobody else with her when it happened. The stories told around her were hazy, none of them seemingly true, just speculations by her peers. 

“We planted explosives in a warehouse roof. I set it off just as I was about to get apprehended by an enforcer. I couldn’t see their face because it was dark, but that was you. We had met each other before.” 

Caitlyn wanted to shut her eyes. Bits were flashing by her, the sound of the explosion, the feeling of being crushed under the debris. Part of Caitlyn wanted to tell Vi that she was mistaken, but somehow her story was able to evoke pieces of the missing night. The faceless phantom at the other end of the hall–it was her. 

She had longed to find out about that night, but not like this. Caitlyn was drowning in throes of emotion but she didn’t want to contribute to her partner’s agony. 

She clasped Vi’s hand in both of hers and looked her in the eye. “It’s been years Vi. We both had to do things we weren’t proud of because we believed it was right at the time. It’s okay.” 

“I forgive you," she continued.

Funny how three words were able to elicit so much in her partner. Vi’s eyes brimmed with tears which she hastily wiped with her arm sleeve. Caitlyn had never seen her cry before. Instinctively, she pulled Vi into a hug. Maybe if she didn’t witness her crying she would feel better about it, the way Caitlyn hated it when people saw her cry. 

Time healed even the deepest of scars and they had plenty of time. She would learn to live with it the way she has learned to love someone who used to be her enemy. 

626

Sometimes all it took was a seed. 

For Caitlyn, repetitive days have gained luster because she was with the person she loved the most in the world, in a secret place only they shared. But one morning, she woke up with the thought that it was yet another repetitive day. The thought was quickly extinguished – how could she say that when everyday with Vi was different? Just the other day they went swimming in the lake in the countryside.  A few days before, they learned to mix drinks at an abandoned bar–getting drunk off their asses when night came. 

It scared Caitlyn. The idea of forever with her favorite person was paradise but what if she grew tired of it? What if she woke up one day, losing that love for Vi? What will become of them? 

These thoughts plagued Caitlyn even when she and Vi had met up at the empty hotel roofdeck. She didn’t want to share them with Vi, who always thrived living in the moment. That was where they differed. 

“Vi, how long have we been…here?” Keeping track of days has become pointless to her, just like how the life they had lived before the loop seemed to blur in its details. It was pebbles on murky water–there but difficult to make out unless you submerged your hand. 

Vi thought for a bit, “626 years.” 

Caitlyn felt vertigo, she had to steady herself at the railing. Days blended into one another for her, she had no idea it had been that long. 

“Since when have you kept count?” 

“It’s not accurate, but I try to keep this mental count in my head. You know how some days feel shorter than most? I think time doesn’t really pass us by the same way but still I wanted to have a metric we could understand so I could make sense of all of this. But of course it’s more of a feeling than something actually accurate.” Vi turned to her, that same look of gentleness in her face. “Why what’s up?” 

“I’m surprised I haven’t annoyed you to death.” Caitlyn tried a joke but it wasn’t enough to ease her heart. 

Vi went up to close the gap between them and held her arms. “Are you kidding? Everyday with you is a miracle.” 

So it was just her. She felt that chafing, stifling guilt rise up inside of her. Caitlyn let her weight fall against her partner’s in an embrace– trying her best to make herself feel comforted by the gesture. 

The equation

Caitlyn needed to satiate her mind so she went up to Jayce’s apartment. When he opened the door, looking the same disheveled he did, she welcomed herself in before he could object. 

All her days of telling Jayce her predicament has led her to figure out the shortest way to break the news to him. “I ran into your time machine with Red, we’re somehow stuck in a time loop reliving the same day again and again. You tell me there is no way out.” 

Jayce put his hands in his head, the same panicked look. “God, Cait this is horrible. How long has this been going on?” 

“626 years.” 

Jayce paced around until Caitlyn told him to sit opposite her in the kitchen, trying to calm him down. 

“You’re with the enemy, Cait–” 

She raised her hand. “Let me finish. We have managed to fall in love over the course of the years. I told you about her before. You’ve actually met her before, which of course you don’t remember.” 

Jayce froze. “Oh. Well that’s something…” He shook his head, still confused. “Why are you telling me this? I know you, there’s something else.” 

Caitlyn now couldn’t meet his eyes. “I need a way out Jayce. This cannot possibly go on forever. Some point it has to end right? There has to be a way.”

“Cait, you’re basically in an artificial afterlife with someone you love. For everyone else, we’re stuck living in the middle of war. That’s a privilege to be able to escape reality.” He had a point, and that was part of the guilt that was eating her up whole. 

“I’m scared Jayce.” Caitlyn sighed, her head in her hands. “I’m scared I’ll wake up one day and hate this and be unhappy. I know I have every reason not to, but I don’t ever want to reach that point.” 

Jayce stared back at her, pondering until he stood up. “I can try, Cait. I can’t promise anything but I can try. Come back later before nightfall, I don’t know what I can do in a day but I can give you a lead–anything.” 

After a long day spent with Vi watching old rerolls of film in the theater, she went back to Jayce’s apartment as instructed. He was still dressed in pajamas when she got inside and saw that he was holed up in his room that served as a workstation. Instead of the usual machines, he was facing a blackboard that was filled with equations. 

“How’s everything?” 

Jayce couldn’t peel his eyes from the equation before giving Caitlyn a look of disappointment. “I can’t finish the equation, there’s so much. You have to come back really early next time. As soon as you wake up, tell me you need me to figure out the ‘time continuum equation’ and I will know what to do.” 

Caitlyn nodded, stopping by the door before she left. “Thanks Jayce.” 

He gave a sad smile. “No need to thank me, that’s what friends are for.” 

Unspoken words

Vi had walked out from under the tent– a hodgepodge of canvas and nylon fabric she had fashioned into a working tent, fashioned from the items in the back of Caitlyn’s truck. She dusted her hands off as she took a step back to admire the handiwork? 

She smiled at Caitlyn, “So what do you think?”

Caitlyn peeled her eyes from staring at the trees outside of the clearing. She quickly smiled at her partner. She had been doing that a lot– losing herself to her thoughts, finding herself shrinking further back. It hasn’t been the same for Caitlyn ever since the idea planted itself in her head, keeping her restless. 

Vi has always been suggesting new things to do but they both knew that they were never really new. She and Vi had gone camping in the countryside woods for years now, they didn’t do it often, but they have done it before. 

“I’ll start the fire.” Vi said as she went over the pile of branches that they had set aside. 

Her thoughts went back to Vi’s last reaction when she casually brought it up. She always seemed so happy and content with the present. It was very much like her–to dwell in the moment, and soak it all up with no regards for the future. 

The future was a concept that had become foreign to Caitlyn, yet left her with a pang of longing, always unattainable yet still there. While she never planned for a specific future, Caitlyn always had plans. She had wanted to be the best enforcer to drive her sense of purpose. She had wanted to help Piltover win the war. When the loop happened and Vi came into her life, she threw away all of those plans to just share the moment that they had together. For a while that seemed to work. But Jayce saying that there could be a possible way out was suddenly a new variable to take into account. 

When Vi had set out the campfire, taking a seat next in front of the fire, Caitlyn followed. She rested her head on Vi’s shoulder. 

Comfortable silence was normal for them. But even Caitlyn knew this was far from it. She had been withdrawn and Vi knew it but was scared to break into that territory. She would tell her when the time is right, when she has sifted through all of the thoughts in her mind. For now, they sat together in silence. 

The fabric of time 

The next time, Caitlyn made sure to wake Jayce up early. She told him her situation, then mentioned the time continuum equation like he told her. Jayce had immediately gone to his workshop to work on the equations. 

By nightfall, Caitlyn made her way to his apartment and found him, leaning back at his chair, eyes absorbing the filled blackboard. Caitlyn watched him, waiting for him to speak first. 

“I have both good news and bad news.” Jayce turned to her for the first time, the way he proudly spoke of his inventions coming back into the fray. “The good news is that there is a way out of your current predicament.” 

“What is it?” Caitlyn made herself comfortable by sitting up at one of the workshop tables like she always did when they used to hang out all those years ago. 

“Remember when the time machine was set off by this device? My suspicion is that the device was just able to awaken the properties of the machine before it could destroy it. That was why you had found yourselves in the time loop. It never worked in the first place as it was intended and this was a natural consequence. The way to break the cycle is to activate the machine and destroy it for good before it sets off another turn, another loop.” He pointed to the equations that looked like another indecipherable language comprised of symbols. 

“The bomb must be well designed, it has to be quick, the explosion just the right kind, destroying it from the inside out. But that means–” 

“That we don’t make it.” Caitlyn finished the sentence, the situation unfolding before her eyes.

“It was how it was supposed to happen. That day, the bomb was really about to go off. But the time machine just meddled with the natural course of events. That’s the bad news I’m afraid.” Jayce seemed like he rehearsed what he said beforehand, but the weight of it all was too heavy still. 

“And there’s no other option? That’s all we get? 

Jayce sighed, he pointed back to some equations on the board. “I hesitated to share this because it’s not really an option. It’s more complicated. I think it’s better if I explain it this way. Time is a thread. Every day, every action, moves that thread downwards until it builds a tapestry– an amalgamation of a lifetime of decisions and actions forming what we know as history.”

“Because you were stuck in a loop, the fabric of time itself got a rip in the tapestry. It’s essentially an abnormality in time–you don’t experience the passage of time as you repeat the same day everyday. My theory suggests that because it’s an anomaly, the rest of time in our lifetime has been suspended. If you’re able to destroy the machine, then that means time can flow normally again for all of us.” 

He pointed to a drawing of the time machine in the blueprint, tacked to the board. “The way the capsule was designed was that it’s only really able to carry one person back. But bringing back one variable messes up the web of other variables. So building this as a failsafe for when Piltover loses was never meant to work– if someone did come back in time, they would be altering the course of the war for sure. But not in our lifetime. But in another thread–its own tapestry. People call it a multiverse, but really it’s just the time continuum as I coined it.” 

“So if we use the time machine as it was intended, you’re saying there’s a chance that we’re creating a world where there might never even be war to begin with?” 

He nodded “Yes it’s possible, but at the same time it’s entirely impossible to know for sure. There are a million variables. A million more possibilities. Time is a messy thing, this is why I never finished this equation before.” 

Jayce paced around back and forth. “But that will be much more complicated. If one of you goes back through time without breaking the machine, either you’re still stuck in the loop, or you create a muddled mess of time given so many variables there are already going on. Let’s say Vi goes back in time and changes one variable and creates a new timeline, at a certain time of the day the time will loop. Who knows what will happen to that divergent timeline–will it follow its natural course or abide by the properties of the loop? It’s even more complicated if both of you try to go back in time, that’s double the variables.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in exhaustion. “The machine has to be destroyed. That is the most crucial part that I’ve come to conclude.” 

“What if one of us goes back, the other blows up the machine?” Caitlyn’s mind was firing up different gears. 

“Person who goes back in time, say, changes one event and creates a divergent timeline. There’s only a set duration a person can stay back in time, it can’t be for extended periods. When the time machine gets destroyed, there is no present to come back to. I don’t have the calculations for that. I’m guessing it’s this limbo in time space, a different plane of existence beyond human comprehension. Would you really want that kind of fate for either of you?”

Caitlyn weighed the options. She was feeling the hopelessness and dread that has been plaguing Jayce since she arrived. 

“Do you think, in another timeline, we could have met? There’s no war?” She let the words drop, more wishful thinking than questions. 

Jayce leaned against the blackboard. “If there’s one thing studying this has taught me it’s that, there are a million lifetimes out there based on all the little choices we make. Somewhere out there, it’s possible. Who knows?” 

“We have to destroy the machine.” She spoke as reality hit her. 

Jayce nodded. “The bomb would need a shorter activation but a more potent explosive. Can your–friend do that?” 

Caitlyn nodded. “She knows someone who makes bombs. I’ll make sure to tell her.” 

Jayce held her arm before Caitlyn could leave. “Cait, I’m sorry I wish there was a better way.” 

She wrapped her arms around Jayce, who squeezed her tighter. He did what he could, but the truth of it was inevitable–they had to let the natural course of time run through. 

After forever

Caitlyn lay awake as she watched Vi sleep next to her. They had taken a liking to this small hotel that never really asked questions about Vi, which was ideal for both of them. It was late afternoon but they had the curtains drawn shut casting a dark blue glow in the room as they just cuddled next to each other. 

The seed that had planted in Caitlyn’s mind was growing and growing and she couldn’t stop it. 

Vi stirred and without opening her eyes, spoke. “C’mon sleep with me.” 

“I’m not an afternoon sleeper,” Caitlyn gently stroked her partner’s hair. 

Vi rubbed her eyes and lay on her back. “Cait, you know you can talk to me right?” 

Caitlyn swallowed. She knew this was coming, she couldn’t hide this from Vi forever. 

“You’ve been closed off lately. There’s something bothering you.” Vi sighed. “I feel so helpless about it.” 

Caitlyn’s voice was barely a crack. “Do you ever get–tired of living the same day everyday Vi? Like to be honest.”

“I just learned to live with it. There’s nothing we can do, and with what we’re given I want to make the best out of it.” Vi responded after a small pause. “Do you..?”

“No, not yet.” Silence filled the room, the spaces between them. “What if one day you wake up and you get tired of this? You get tired of me?”

“Cait, I would never–” 

“But you don’t know that. We don’t know that.” Caitlyn’s voice quavered. She propped herself up on her elbow, Vi mirroring her pose.

“So this is what’s on your mind?” Vi’s voice was child-like, and it broke Caitlyn’s heart to hear that. 

“I’m scared one day I’ll just wake up and it doesn’t matter how much we feel for each other. That I’d just be tired of living the same day over and over. And the thought of having that thought just kills me, Vi. I don’t think I can live with knowing I have everything, the perfect life with you and not want it.” 

The moment she said it, she saw Vi grapple with the dilemma. The thought occurred more to her like something she has been dreading than something just occurring to her for the first time. 

“I spoke to Jayce the other day. He says he can come up with a way to end the time loop. It’s complicated but it can work. We need a bomb strong enough to destroy the time machine for good. Then things will go back to how it was supposed to happen.” 

“That means we die.” Vi said. 

They had long decided that no matter how they twisted the events of that day, they were both bound to die. Caitlyn’s heart was crumbling, seeing her partner go through the same realizations she did. 

“So you just want to end this–this forever that we have?” 

“Only if you’re okay with it. I wouldn’t want to go through with it alone.” 

Vi was deep in thought, from the way her mouth was set in a scowl, her eyebrows furrowed. “So you just want to throw all of this away–” 

Caitlyn held her partner’s hand–cold and clammy. “It’s not throwing it away. We lived more lifetimes than most people can hope to get, Vi. I loved everything that we shared, but it’s got to end somehow. I don’t ever want to feel like this isn’t something that I want. I feel you’ll know it too when the time is right.” 

Vi looked down at their slotted hands, sighing. “I need some time, Cait. I’ll think about it.” Seeing the look on Caitlyn’s face made Vi bring up their hands and press soft kisses over and over. “I’ll think about it, hmm?” 

They had spent the rest of the day in silence as Vi turned over to sleep. Caitlyn didn’t need to watch her to know that she was still thinking about it too. 

Peace

They had sat by the old picnic table in Caitlyn’s old family lodge. Between the two of them was a vintage bottle of wine that Caitlyn’s father had kept stored in the cellar. 

Vi popped the cork and poured both of them a glass. The sun had already set and they were just bidding the day farewell. Since Caitlyn had brought it up, Vi hasn’t mentioned it even once. She knew the other girl was handling it differently than her and she would give Vi all the time in the world to come to grips with it. 

After a sip, Vi put down her glass, eyes locked at the faraway trees. “I’ve thought about it.” 

Caitlyn traced her finger around the rim of the glass, a habit she had that drove her own mother crazy. “Mhmm?” 

“You’re right, Cait.” Vi exhaled, meeting her eyes. “We have lived many lifetimes, we have had a lot of good memories. Sometimes I need to pinch myself and tell myself this isn’t a dream because all I knew was war and fighting and suddenly, there’s this forever, this paradise with you.” 

Vi started involuntarily fidgeting with the wraps in her hands, the way she did when she was nervous. “I remember the really early days, I was brimming with excitement, this passion to show you another side of the world you didn’t know. The things you don’t see in Piltover. The same goes for what you showed me. Learning everything about you, getting to live my best life with you–I would never trade that for anything in the world. But over time, that excitement tones down. I still like spending time with you and everything. But the urge for it isn’t the same, it’s like I’m at peace you know?” 

Vi’s blue gray eyes turned glassy, and Caitlyn knew she meant every word. “Like everything's in place. There are no bad days, just good ones. There’s still some stuff I wanna do with you but there’s less boxes to check, you know?” 

Caitlyn took her partner’s hands. “Yeah, peace. I’ve felt that for a while. I just didn’t know how to put it in words.  I’m okay with what we got. I feel I can truly say I lived without any regrets.” 

They let the silence fill them, the sound of crickets buzzing in the nearby trees. 

“There’s really no other way?” Vi asked after a moment of silence with thoughtful eyes. 

“One of us could go back in time, try to stop the war for instance, but it won’t matter because it won’t happen in this lifetime. Just in another. The time machine has to be destroyed–if one of us has to stay, the one who goes back in time can possibly get lost in time itself.” Caitlyn explained what Jayce had told her that day. 

“Another lifetime huh.” Vi was in front of her but it suddenly seemed like she was far away, chasing a thought. “Do you think we can happen there? Maybe in a world without a war.” 

Caitlyn shrugged. “If it makes you feel better, Jayce said anything is possible there.” 

“Maybe in that universe I got that apartment overlooking the city I always wanted huh.” A grin broke apart in Vi’s face. To see Vi make jokes was the best kind of comfort Caitlyn could get in that moment. Things would be okay. They had each other. 

Bucket list 

“If we don’t have forever, what are some of the things you want to do? Like something you really want, if given the chance.” Vi spoke as she lay on Caitlyn’s stomach. They were back at the beach which had become their favorite spot to think and pass the day. 

Caitlyn ran her fingers through Vi’s hair, another of her favorite things to do with her partner. “It’s hard to think of, when you put it that way.” 

“Mine’s easy.” Vi said in that cheeky way she spoke when she had a stupid idea. 

“What?” 

“Let’s get married.” 

“We can do that. Why not? We could always do that.” 

“No like with the certificate and everything.” 

“That’s just paper, it’ll be gone the next day.” 

“But I just want to see, to know what it feels like.” 

Caitlyn bent down and kissed her partner’s forehead. “Okay sure, let’s do that.” 

“You never answered yours.” 

Caitlyn thought for a moment. There was something she had long yearned to do. “Introduce you to my parents, bring you home.” 

Now it was Vi’s turn to freeze. “You say your father hunts right?” 

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “He’s a nice person, he won't do that. You just have to be you. I’m sure they’ll love you.” 

Vi frowned, seemingly unconvinced. “Then why’d you never take me home before?” 

Caitlyn felt a knot in her chest. It had more to do with her than with Vi. “It’s complicated. We weren’t exactly on good terms last time we met.” 

Vi sat up and rested her forehead on Caitlyn’s. “If that’s what you want then let’s do it.”

The idea that they would do things one last time before they go left some excitement in Caitlyn’s spirit that she hasn’t felt in a long time. She liked the idea that it was always Vi and her together at the end of everything, like how it was always meant to be. 

Coming home

Caitlyn never expected in all her days in the loop that she would stand at the door of their family estate. It was a long way from no man’s land, from the garrison, that Caitlyn forgot such opulence even existed still. The metal gates led them a short cobbled path that led to the two storey estate. 

She looked at Vi next to her, who she had asked to dress in clothes more befitting someone from Piltover– expensive fabrics she wasn’t used to wearing in Zaun. Normally she would have laughed at how out of her depth Vi looked, but this mattered to her, and Vi was willing to help her go through it. Caitlyn thought she might have asked Vi to cover up her hair with a wig, but nobody knew what she looked like–the police sketches never failing to capture her most prominent features. 

Vi didn’t tell her she was nervous, but Caitlyn felt it from how her feet shifted. She fixed a loose strand of hair from Vi’s face, giving her an assured smile. 

The door opened and they were greeted by Caitlyn’s father, tall, dressed in the signature blue and white Kiramman garb. His dark eyes glistened. “Dear, Caitlyn’s here. With a friend.” He opened the door wide, letting them in. 

It was lunch time and they were ushered to the dining room, a long hall with blue tapestries hanging by the side, in the center a giant portrait of Caitlyn and her parents when she was about twelve. Vi had gaped at the sight, clearly new to the whole environment. 

They had taken seats opposite her parents, barely occupying the long mahogany table. 

“Caitlyn, what brings you here? Aren’t you at the front?” Her mother asked, a porcelain teacup in her hands. 

“Day off,” She lied. “I wanted to see both of you. I want to introduce you to my–partner.” She glanced at Vi who looked the most unsure she’s been, seemingly hanging onto her every word. “This is Vi.” 

Her parents gave each other quick looks. Caitlyn had never brought anyone home yet, to their dismay. The war had taken a normal life from her, something she only realized since the loop. 

“How did you two meet?” Her mother asked. 

“I’m from downtown Piltover,” Vi said slowly, to others seeming like she was relaxed, but Caitlyn knew she was winging every word. “We met when Cait had a day off at one of the local pubs. I work in one of the bars.” 

Caitlyn nodded, turning to her parents. She was searching their eyes. She did not mean to be a distant daughter but their hopes that she would settle down had gotten slimmer over the years since the war had taken more from her, her time, her energy, her existence. 

“So glad to meet you Vi,” Her father started, extending a hand. 

They had a great lunch of roast duck, something Caitlyn had forgotten the taste of. Her parents started sharing some childhood stories, some that Caitlyn didn’t even remember. 

Her mother had assumed that they had only met recently, from how she took charge of the conversation. Family albums were shown to Vi after the meal, much to her amusement. Caitlyn felt a bittersweet sensation wash over her as she watched her parents talk about the context of the photos with Vi. 

“Her favorite color is blue, you see, that dress–” Her mum pointed to a page in the album. 

“Blue, really?” Vi’s eyes glinted as she caught Caitlyn’s eyes in the process, giving her a quick wink. 

She would have no way of knowing the years that the two had spent, the memories and stories they shared to last a lifetime. Caitlyn ached inside that maybe she should have let Vi come over sooner. 

When her father had started showing off his hunting gear, Caitlyn retired to the balcony seeing the sprawling garden of their estate under the afternoon sunlight. Her mother quietly joined her. 

“Caitlyn, dear,” she started, “I know we haven’t been on good terms over the years. But I want you to know that I really appreciate you coming here today. You even brought home someone you’re dating. Your father and I are really glad.” 

Caitlyn couldn’t meet her mother’s eyes but she felt her words sink in her skin. She kept her gaze fixated at the bush in the garden. Something lodged in her throat. “I wish I could tell you mum. I feel just as bad for not coming back.” 

“You don’t have to feel bad. I know it’s hard. Being at war is hard. Even if you didn’t tell us, we knew.” The way her mother spoke, drew Caitlyn back to her accident she never bothered to tell her parents about. But they knew. 

Caitlyn felt her eyes sting. She will not cry in front of her mother so she blinked them away. “I thought you were going to pull me back here after it happened.” 

“We respected the choice you made to go to the front. We figured we’d let you come back to us when you were ready. While I wish you let us help you during that time, I knew you could handle it on your own.” Her mother took a step closer and touched her hand, a gesture she hadn’t done in a long time. “Caitlyn all your father and I wanted was to let you know that there is still life outside the war. I’m glad you have found someone to share that with.” To her mother there was still war. Caitlyn had been so separated from reality it had become an afterthought for her. 

Caitlyn faced her mother, seeing the lines in her face soften, those eyes she used to fight with now seeing her in an understanding light. They had their differences, but she was still her mother. 

A smile formed on her face, letting her mother’s words sink in. “You’re right mum. I did find someone to know how good life can be outside the war.” 

Promises 

Caitlyn thought once it didn’t matter. 

What she and Vi shared could not be contained by date and time. What difference would it make if they got married? But it was what Vi had wanted and she wanted to give her that. 

Caitlyn had it all planned. She went to town and bought clothes from the nearby tailor–  a simple laced white dress for her and a two-piece suit for Vi. She also dropped by the remains of the town hall where she got the marriage certificate much to the confusion of the secretary why an enforcer would want such a thing . 

She had all the items hauled in the back of the truck until she drove to pick up Vi at the planetarium. From there they drove until they got out from the city towards the outskirts, until they reached the long winding road that led to the countryside. The road eventually diverged until they took the one that hugged close to the sea, until they saw the little beach that had become theirs. 

It wasn’t the best of places. It was hard to change into a dress with just the truck as the cover, but Caitlyn had dealt with it. Caitlyn felt silly wearing the white gown barefoot in the gray sand but all thoughts drifted when she saw Vi already changed into the beige suit that she got her– she had ditched the tie and had only loosely buttoned the white shirt underneath which was barely tucked in her trousers but to Caitlyn she looked perfect. Vi also made little attempt to slick back her messy hair, tucking it behind her ear. That day, Caitlyn decided she looked more handsome.

She handed Vi the piece of paper that was Piltover’s marriage certificate. Vi got out a pen and placed the paper on the hood of the truck and scribbled her name in one blank. Caitlyn took the pen after and signed her name next to Vi’s. 

Vi reached out her hand and Caitlyn followed her further out into the beach. Caitlyn had to pull up the hem of her dress so she wouldn't trip and lodge sand in the fabric.  She felt the spray of the saltwater adding to the humidity one could only feel at the seaside, but at the same time she didn’t care. She was getting married to the only person her heart ever loved. 

Vi stopped when they got to a good spot that was close enough to the ocean, but not too close that the waves would wash over their feet. She opened her other palm and there were two gold rings there, they seemed crudely cut, unlike the ones found in Piltovan jewelry stores. Caitlyn didn’t think Vi would even go to the trouble of getting rings when the next day it would be gone. 

“You didn’t have to.” 

“But I want to.” Her voice was light, the way she sounded whenever she was serious. “This is actually from Piltovan gold but fashioned by blacksmiths in Zaun. I think it’s pretty fitting for us.” 

“So what now?” Caitlyn took in the sight of them–two well dressed people looking out of place on the open beach. “I hated attending weddings growing up, I don’t really know how stuff like this works. All the vows and all.” 

“Vows are kind of overrated. In Zaun, people just exchange promises. I like that, it’s more intimate. Why say words that've been said over two hundred years ago when you can come up with your own.” 

Caitlyn thought for a second. How could she possibly make a promise to a person she had spent hundreds of lifetimes with? Words are not enough, but she will try. 

“Vi, I have never trusted my heart more with a person than with you. You taught me a lot of things, the world I never got to see, how much there is to life, but most of all, how much someone can love with their heart. I’d love you when things get hard, when things are the easiest in the world, I’d love you until the ends of the earth, ‘til the end of time. I promise for as long as I live, my heart will always be yours. Forevermore.” As she spoke, she felt her throat tightening. She hated spilling her heart out, but Vi always made her feel safe whenever she did. Vi’s blue gray eyes seemed to glow in recognition. 

Vi kissed her hand before squeezing it before her. 

“I’ve been thinking a long time about how we came to be. How it was as if fate brought us together. But I think differently now. I think it’s more to do with me finding my way to you even during the first day. Everyday in this loop has been me finding my way to you, and loving you in the process. You told me you hate waking up alone every morning, but I think it’s great that everyday I find my way to you. If there are other lifetimes out there, I promise I’d find you. I’ll never stop finding you, Caitlyn Kiramman.”

Caitlyn felt her eyes sting and she instantly pulled Vi into a kiss before she could see her cry. 

Vi slowly slid the ring in her finger and Caitlyn did the same. 

She looked at the face of her partner, her wife. In a world where they can never have anything for long. She was hers, forever. Caitlyn had a great many days in the loop, but nothing could come close to that day on the beach. 

Final nights 

Counting down the days to when they’d set time back was one of the few times when Caitlyn became aware of days passing. 

There was no more need for grand adventures to lakes, hiking trips, or island hopping. Those last few days, all Caitlyn needed was to lay next to the person she loved most. Sometimes it was at her countryside lodge, but usually it was at the hotel that they liked going to. 

“If there’s one night you could relive and do differently, what would it be?” Vi asked, switching from laying on her back to her side. Vi was just wearing her tank top, leaving her toned arms exposed, the way Caitlyn liked it. 

“Probably the night I got this.” Caitlyn motioned to the scar in her abdomen, covered by a camisole–what she usually wore when she slept. 

Vi just nodded slightly, eyes serious. She had forgiven Vi long ago but she knew some part of Vi carried that guilt and resentment of what she had inflicted upon her. No amount of her soothing words can alleviate that. 

“I probably wouldn’t chase you down. Going alone was too dangerous anyway.” Talking about that night had become easier for Caitlyn when it had been a topic that was able to bring her mood down. “But it’s weird isn’t it? Things like this, you can only know in hindsight.” 

Vi raised her eyebrows, as if she expected such a reply from her. “Now I feel dumb. My answer is not that deep.” 

Caitlyn broke into a smile, nudging her partner. “What is it?” 

Vi shrugged. “Maybe change my ratty clothes if I was going to meet you that day in the planetarium. Made myself look more presentable. No wonder you hated me I really dressed the part of ‘Zaunite trash’” 

Caitlyn slapped her. “You’re impossible.” 

“No really!” Vi’s eyes widened, the way she often defended her own jokes. “I know what you look like in pictures. But damn, you were really walking around in uniform looking like that. What is a girl to do anyway?” 

Caitlyn thought back to the artist sketch of Vi when to Caitlyn she still was Red. “You know they were never able to capture what you looked like, those police drawings. I thought you were prettier in person too.” 

Silence overcame them and Caitlyn let Vi play with their laced hands. 

“I’ll miss this a lot. I’ll miss you a lot.” Vi spoke like she was afraid of letting each word slip from her mouth. Despite agreeing to the plan, they weren’t exempt from these admissions. It didn’t sting any less. 

“Me too.” Caitlyn agreed. Vi was deep in thought from the way her eyes never once fell on hers. This contemplative Vi was new for Caitlyn, but she let her because she had been in the same boat before. 

“We’ll be together, always.” Caitlyn assured.

Vi softly smiled and buried her head in Caitlyn’s chest. She wrapped one arm around her as Caitlyn closed her eyes. Any minute, any second now, and Vi would cease to exist beside her and the day would start again. They had been through this a hundred times to fill many lifetimes, what was one more? 

End of time 

When Vi had fastened the bomb just like they had did all those years ago, Caitlyn watched the bittersweet look on her partner’s face. She joined her by her side, holding her hand tightly, as they stared at the machine that started it all for them. 

“So this is it, a hundred lifetimes together. It all comes down to this.” She knew Vi long enough to know how she sounded when she tried her best not to sound sad. 

Caitlyn couldn’t free her misty eyes, remove the way her throat lumped. Saying goodbye was never easy even for what they had shared. “We were supposed to die that day, one way or the other. Somehow the universe conspired to give me the best infinity, a lifetime of memories with the person I love more than anything in the world. We’re the lucky ones, Vi.” 

Vi’s eyes watered as she wiped Caitlyn’s tears with her thumb. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I wanted to keep us like this, it’s wrong. We have lived good lives. Thank you for everything, cupcake.” Vi gently pressed her lips on Caitlyn’s forehead before resting her forehead against hers. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

Vi pressed the detonator in her hand, turning on the metal receiver of the bomb attached to the capsule. Beeping noises started and Caitlyn squeezed Vi’s hand, bracing herself for the end. 

But Vi pressed another button and the beeping stopped. Caitlyn turned to look at her. 

“I can’t do it,” Vi said, urgency in her voice like she had touched something hot. 

“Vi–” 

“Jayce said the other option can work right?” Vi turned around arm gesturing towards the machine, she was getting restless. “I’ll do it.”

“Absolutely not! I won’t let you.” Caitlyn ordered. 

“I’ve been thinking a lot about it actually, Cait. If there’s a chance that I can help do something for us in another lifetime, won’t you also do the same given this one in a million chance?”

“We already got more than what most people can hope to have Vi, why can’t you be content?” They were disagreeing at the worst possible time. 

“Because, this isn’t real life!” Vi shouted, her chest heaving. The words stinged–they both knew were true. “Didn’t Jayce tell you the time loop is an abnormality, something that wasn't supposed to happen?” 

Caitlyn remembered her friend’s words and couldn’t disagree with her partner. 

“You’re okay with that? That this forever we have was never meant to happen, something gone wrong?” 

Her eyes were still glassy when she touched Caitlyn’s cheek. “I want those kids we always talked about, Cait. Little Tobias and Violet. I want to grow old with you. Get that penthouse apartment overlooking the sunset and the city. I want to have that future. In another lifetime, maybe we could have that. It won’t be the same me, but Vi somewhere out there might get that chance. And that’s something I’m willing to fight for. I don’t want our story to just stay an anomaly in time– we deserve more than that. And I want to know. I don’t think I can live without knowing I didn’t try.”

“Vi please–” 

“I promised to find you in another lifetime, didn’t I? This is just me keeping that promise.” Vi bringing back their promises was the final nail for Caitlyn–that no matter what she could do or say, Vi was determined. 

Tears were cascading down Caitlyn’s cheeks and she didn’t hide it–maybe for once she wanted Vi to see how painful this was for her. The knot in her chest was tightening into something she can never untangle alone. 

“I can’t follow you, Vi. What you’re doing, I have to stay and end the loop.” 

“I know.” 

“What happens to you when the machine is broken–” 

“I know.” 

“I don’t want your last memory to be fading into oblivion, all alone.” 

“But I can’t not try, Cait. I have to try.” 

Caitlyn looked at the woman she loved the most in the world. She had Vi share many things, but they also had their differences. Vi had always been bold and courageous. How could she deprive her of that want? If it meant letting her go, letting her have that one last thing. Caitlyn knew there was nothing in her heart that could say no to her–her heart that had so much love for Vi like her own promise to her. 

“Okay. For us.” She sniffed, nodding her head. 

Vi handed her the detonator. The war in both cities had been suspended in time for too long, it had to end with them. 

“Do you know where you’re going?” Caitlyn cautioned. 

“Trust me, cupcake. One last time.” Vi assured. 

When it hit Caitlyn they were about to go separate paths, she pulled Vi into an embrace–Caitlyn for the last time aware of how she feels against her. There is no guarantee that Vi meddling with time will help them in another lifetime. But Vi was willing to try, for them. There could be universes where Caitlyn didn’t even know Vi, the shape of her nose, those eyes that could carry the entire world. All those nights before she slept that she spent memorizing every line, every freckle on Vi, would all be for naught. 

Vi squeezed her tighter, not wanting to let go until she finally did. 

“I’ll forget you.” Caitlyn managed through the lump in her throat. “There’s a version of me there that won’t be lucky to know you.” 

Vi cupped her face, letting her forehead rest on her forehead. “Remember me, I know you will. A love like ours can't be forgotten by the stars. Vander used to tell me, memory is fleeting but souls are eternal. Years have passed and I can’t remember exactly how he looked–he looks different in my memory than what his photograph will show. But he’s in here.” Vi pointed to her chest. 

Vi had opened the hatch where the time machine would be powered, activating it with the gemstone. She set the time on the knob. The machine started humming, gears turning, light starting to emanate. Their window was small. Vi set foot inside of the capsule as the whirring caused a shimmery glow in the frame. 

They locked eyes. For once that afternoon, Vi looked calm and at peace. There was so much Caitlyn still wanted to say, but Vi’s gray eyes told her that she knew. 

In a split second Vi was there then, she was gone. 

Caitlyn’s life flashed before her eyes in a brief moment–her childhood, growing up, then Vi. Years and years of time they spent together, an endless photo album of mental photographs in her mind. 

Caitlyn activated the detonator. She closed her eyes and tried to hold onto anything she could still grasp. The room started to fill with white again, but just before it can swallow her whole like the first time, the bomb went off. 

Then nothingness. 

Aftermath

The squad of enforcers ran to the common in the planetarium’s viewing deck. 

When they got to the room, as if by magic, the time machine was gone. Instead, there was a mark where the machine used to sit, circled by dark marks of an explosion. 

There was nobody in the room. 

One of the enforcers shouted orders to search the place for Deputy Kiramman or Agent Red. The Zaunite insurgents had just as quickly fled the scene, eluding capture. It took half an hour until the whole complex was swept, resulting in nothing. It was puzzling what had happened to their deputy. 

The only traces that they were ever there was the deputy’s gold and white signature hextech rifle laying next to a gauntlet belonging to the Zaunite. 

Urban legend 

It was decades before the war eventually stopped. 

When the remaining council members had finally agreed to a solution with Zaun’s leaders, they granted them independence, while still keeping their trade deals. It was a long and laborious process that wasn’t without its violence. But eventually, there was peace between the two cities. 

It was a story most everyday citizens in Piltover knew like the back of their hand. In war, people don’t really forget. But rebuilding was possible–building a better future, a better tomorrow that did not consist of violence. Piltover and Zaun over the years had rebuilt what was broken, never losing sight of what was lost–the shared history that tied two cities together. 

“Tell me more about the legend!” A kid exclaimed as he almost bounced on his mattress. His mother was sitting on his bedside. 

She smiled warmly as she tucked him into bed. “Well my dear, the war stopped because of peace treaties and all that politics work, but for the everyday people, they point it to the sign of the two soldiers who mysteriously disappeared alongside the time machine in the planetarium. They were both from opposite sides of the war, one Piltover, one Zaun. They were sworn rivals, ordered to take each other down. And they fought that day, tooth and nail, but that was until the time machine took them in, leaving no trace but their weapons on the ground. Some people say they went back in time to stop the war, some say, they got transported elsewhere entirely. Some say they fell in love and didn’t want to return back to the present.” 

Her son’s eyes were glowing in the lamp light as she went on with her tale. “But all people know for sure is, that was the first possible sign that peace was possible between the two cities.” 

He seemed to be taking all of those words in, the gears of his brain whirring at lightning speeds. “Where do you think they are now, mother?” 

She kissed his forehead before pinching his cheek. “It’s just a legend dear. We don’t know if it’s even real. That’s why it’s called a legend.” 

“But where do you think they are?” He whined, looking like he was not resting until he got his answer. 

The mother sighed, smiling at her little boy. “I’m sure wherever they are, they’ll find a way to each other.”

Chapter Text

The mission

Vi stormed out of Silco’s office and into the bustling streets of Zaun, feeling tension unspooling in her shoulders. 

Maybe it was the fact that she was being bossed around to do the dirty work while Silco just sat with his pristine suit, tucked away in the depths of his office, away from the bloodshed. Maybe it was seeing her own sister sitting on top of his table as she fiddled with her contraptions, unaware how the man was manipulating her further and further away from her. Her actual family. 

“You have one mission. Take down that machine before they figure out how powerful that thing is. I will not be disappointed again .” Silco’s voice was like knives scraping against each other. It wasn’t Vi’s fault that she had caused a lot of collateral damage in the last reconnaissance mission. Maybe she was tired of being bossed around. Vander would never do this to her. 

Vi held the bomb that her sister had deviced in her hand. She will suck it up. One day, she will get her sister back. Today, she had a machine to take down. She would also be taking her down. 

Vi knew that there was a Piltovan enforcer who was tracking her down. Word gets around fast in these parts of the lanes. No matter how close she was to cracking her down, Vi had always been one step ahead. But she made sure to leave just enough– trails that were unmistakably hers, marks that only her gauntlets can make on cement walls. She couldn’t lie–there was this thrill. Maybe also it was that while she had known more about the deputy, she didn’t know the same about her. 

Vi had made her way across the bridge and to the old station they had claimed in the outskirts of Piltover. She met with the ragtag group of Zaunite rebels and together, they made their way to the planetarium, running between the shadows that the desolate buildings cast against the sunlight. 

The place was long abandoned. It had the same air that most of Piltover had–like it stuck its chin up at you. Vi had made her way through the empty halls until it led her to the viewing deck and surely, there it was. It had long faded its golden shine and was covered in cobwebs. Vi pulled off the white sheet that partly covered it, sending a plume of dust around the room. 

She decided Piltovans were crazy to even attempt to meddle with time. Good thing they were about to take it down. Vi decided to look around the venue, given that they had been earlier than the enemy. She ducked into the next room, covered partially by metal scaffolding. It was a room with one wall painted with the different constellations. 

Vi had taken off one gauntlet to touch the painted wall. It left dust on her finger but she didn’t mind. The other constellations were alien to her, she didn’t know there were dozens of them. There were small placards next to each one, detailing which Piltovan scientist found them, and the origins of their names. One particular constellation drew Vi’s attention though–it was at the very end of the wall. Two different connected stars forming mirrored S’s. 

The placard read below: THE LOVERS. 

This stirred memories inside of Vi she had almost forgotten. Her father showed her the stars one evening when they had gotten a clear view of the night sky from Zaun. She was about five. He told her that it was his favorite constellation and so it became her favorite as well. 

In the middle of a mission, Vi felt a bite of nostalgia. Was there even room for this feeling in war? To feel anything else but rage and anger? She thought about the lunch battles–how Silco makes the rebels fight it out and even encouraged it, just to make all of them battle-bred and ready. The scars on Vi’s back registered the wounds she bore from those battles. But whenever she thought back to her father, her mother, she was reminded that she was just a kid, sometimes she still is. What kind of person would she be if she didn’t have to fight in the war? 

The sound of commotion takes Vi out of her head and she puts back her gauntlet as she runs out back in the viewing deck. 

She sees Skid, one of the youngest rebels in the team grappling with an enforcer. Shit. They’re already here. 

It’s all muscle memory–the way Vi lunged forward to push back the enforcer, sending a punch to throw her across the room. The impact was something she didn’t expect. Clutching her side, she quickly got up and raised her head. 

It took a millisecond for Vi to register that it’s her. The deputy. The blue and gold-lined uniform, the white and gold hextech rifle, the indigo hair. It was just like the pictures hung up in Silco’s office next to all the other high officials they had to take down. 

What Vi didn’t expect was that she looked prettier in person. 

Fuck . 

The angle of the photo pinned up in their wall was just bad, she had decided. She wasn’t one of those people who looked very photogenic. But in person, she had this captivating beauty that on paper shouldn’t work but somehow did–piercing cat-like eyes, pointy nose, hollowed cheekbones. Maybe hurting her would be a pain. Maybe it sucked that they had to hate each other’s guts. Maybe if circumstances were different, she would ask her out. 

But they were standing on opposite sides. It was how the world worked. A shame. 

“And we finally meet,” Vi said, a bit disappointed, a bit excited at having to face her enemy for what would be the last time. 

The night we met 

Vi’s last vision before the machine took her back was Caitlyn looking at her with her pleading gaze–a face she never wants to let down. But then for a brief second, she looked at peace. Caitlyn in her blue and white tailored family garb. Caitlyn with her indigo hair flowing to her shoulders. Caitlyn who held her whole heart and world in her lithe hands. Caitlyn. 

Then Vi felt the air move around her like a heat wave, she felt her body turn on a molecular level– she was coming apart, but so were her surroundings. The metal interiors of the capsule were blurring, the familiar walls of the planetarium were getting further away, particles floating in the air. 

Vi didn’t have time to rethink her plan. The next thing she knew she was in a back alleyway. It was evening. The cool night breeze hit her nape. It worked. 

Vi didn’t tell Caitlyn that she didn’t know what she was doing. That the idea of doing it was just as scary when she could have just stayed with her partner until the end. But Vi was stubborn. She wanted to know. She wanted to try. Maybe that stubbornness will be the death of her. Or maybe it will give her what she wants. 

There were a million possibilities of her traveling back in time. She could stop the war, she could go back to before Vander died, but all in her mind was that she had to let what she shared with Caitlyn live on somehow. It was selfish but she also knew there were so many variables to stopping the war–something that brewed long before she was born. She could do futile attempts at trying what she could with her limited time for the greater cause or she could be selfish for once. 

There was also the issue of whether she could appear to herself back in time–she didn’t know what repercussions such an act could do so she ruled out any chance of talking to herself. 

 Vi didn’t waste time being modest.  She also didn’t have the luxury of time.  Just one chance. 

She decided to do what she knew she could control. That was why she set the time to take her back so that night they raided the warehouse district in Pitover. 

She was wearing the same clothes she wore everyday in the loop– broken-in boots, worn trousers, and a canvas jacket. Vi pulled on the hood attached to her jacket–if they didn’t know her it would be easier. 

She found herself in the back alleyway–a series of passages that connected the warehouses together. She tried to recall which warehouse it was, until she found it. There was a mark in faint chalk on one of the doors–a signal they often used in Zaun. 

She entered the side entrance which was already unlocked and slipped through. She made her way to the hallway in the warehouse– a semi-open hallway that connected the side office to the loading dock area. That’s when she heard it, the rustling of boots against cement. She crept through the dark hallway and saw the exit door was already open. The Zaunite thief had run towards the door, skidding in the process. 

Vi pressed herself against the wall, forcing herself to blend with the shadows. Seconds later a figure emerged from the warehouse proper to the hallway with her back towards Vi–tall, slim, and holding a long shiny rifle. It was a figure she would recognize anywhere. 

Vi froze.

“Drop your weapons now!” Caitlyn’s voice was authoritative but she heard the slight quaver to know when she was nervous. To anyone, this might have sounded intimidating, but Vi knew her too well. 

She had pointed her gun. Vi was so transfixed she didn’t notice the other figure a couple of meters opposite Caitlyn. She didn’t need to see herself to know that that night, she had a smug look on her face. Each heist was a game to her in those early days, and this was no different. Vi wanted nothing more than to wipe that grin on her face, but she willed herself against it. But there she was, standing there–the phantom silhouette of someone that would haunt Caitlyn for years to come, holding a detonator in hand. 

Vi looked above her and saw the different homemade bombs that her sister had helped make. It was now or never. 

She bolted and with all her might, out of the shadows and pushed Caitlyn out of the hallway as it collapsed behind them. 

When the dust settled, Vi realized she had underestimated the wreckage of the bomb. It had managed to collapse not just the hallway but most of the warehouse. Vi looked and saw that both she and Caitlyn were saved by a section of the cement wall that survived the collapse, leaning over them like a bent tree. 

She checked to see if Caitlyn was okay. If she had forever, she would have taken her time admiring the features she loved, the features she spent all eternity loving–her bright blue cat-like eyes, her chiseled face that Caitlyn hated because it reminded her of her own mother, and that small gap between her teeth. 

But Vi couldn’t indulge herself the way she used to. Thankfully, Caitlyn was mostly unsatched. Vi took a sigh of relief. 

Caitlyn groaned and slowly pulled herself to a sitting position, head on her hand. “What–” She spoke as she registered the debris surrounding them. Then her eyes darted to Vi. Those same bright blue eyes that she loved, but ones that didn’t know her yet at this time. “You saved me?” 

Vi nodded. She quickly helped her up and together they navigated themselves around the collapsed scaffolding, cement, and broken crates of alcohol. 

They had reached the corner of the warehouse that still had a roof intact. Vi expected Caitlyn to leave and join the other enforcers who should have been looking for her by now. But there was something in her demeanor that she didn’t want to leave yet. The quicker it was over the better, but part of Vi couldn’t just let their second encounter happen like that. 

“I owe you my life. Thank you.” She spoke, a bit shy in her admission at being saved by a nobody. 

Vi wanted to tell her so many things–that she didn’t have to take it so hard on herself with work, that she could use some time to put herself first, that one day someone will love her for who she is. But she wasn’t her Caitlyn. Not yet. Maybe not ever. That thought was suffocating. 

All Vi could say was, “No problem.” She flashed a quick smile. She instantly regretted it, wiping it off her face. The restlessness in her feet, she was ready to walk away. 

“Wait. What’s your name?” Caitlyn asked, hand stretched out. 

She caught the look of yearning on Caitlyn’s face– to know the identity of her savior, to know what she meant, why she had saved her when she looked closer dressed to someone from Zaun than Piltover. Caitlyn of this time will never know how much Vi had done. She knew the weight of what this incident had on Caitlyn–one she tried to downplay no matter how much it clearly affected her. 

In Vi’s head she heard the mental hands of a clock signaling her time in the past–she didn’t have forever this time. The frustration that this was all she could get with Caitlyn was sinking in. That future, the possibilities, were all something she will never get to see. She was starting to regret her impulsive decision, that maybe it was better if she stayed with Caitlyn one last time. She didn’t even know if this meddling would lead them to each other eventually, but she quickly reasoned that if she could do anything to ease Caitlyn’s pain and guilt then that was enough for her. 

Maybe she wasn’t sorry for being selfish one last time. 

Vi thought for a second. “My name’s not important. But you have a good heart. Remember that.” She was sorry that it was the best that she could do, a final thought she left unspoken. 

She forced her feet to walk away before she could say or do anything more. Vi pushed her hands deep in her jacket pocket and placed a greater distance between them with each stride. She was walking away from the love of her life for the second time in one lifetime. Vi couldn’t wrap her head around that. She felt Caitlyn’s eyes glued at her until she took a turn and leaned her back against the alley wall, finally giving in to the weight. 

That’s when Vi felt it. She turned her hands over. They were starting to lose substance, gaining translucency, seeing the dark cobbled path where her hand should be. 

She cursed. Her time was up. 

Back at the planetarium, Caitlyn would press the bomb and it would be over–the forever they carved together. Just an anomaly in time. A glitch in the system. She would have no present to go back to. She would cease to exist like all the lifetime of memories they shared would cease to exist. Whatever bullshit she said to reassure Caitlyn that they won’t forget each other was hitting her square in the face. Vi wanted to shout and use her fists to punch her way out of the mess she had gotten herself into but even that wasn’t possible as she was fading into time itself. 

One moment she was there, until she wasn’t. Only the faintest footprint in the dust– evidence that she ever existed in that moment in time. 

8:03

Vi opened her eyes to see the old boards of the double bed she used to share with Powder. She looked at the old wind up clock at the table next to the bed, 8:03. Every morning since the loop, she woke up at 8:03. 

She took in the familiar surroundings– a couch that ripped apart at the seams, a rug that was two shades darker than its original color, and a table where her mechanical gauntlets lay. Vi lived in the old basement room under the old bar that had been long left by her sister, her old peers. It was just her. She was often asked why she stayed there when she could easily get a room in the building Silco had built for his operations where most of the soldiers of the  resistance stayed. But part of Vi can't break herself from the place that reminded her so much of Vander, her father. Part of her was always sentimental like that.  

Normally, Vi was an early riser and would get up to do more productive things. But this morning she wanted to stay in bed. There was so much on her mind to pick apart. The most obvious subject was her .

The more Vi tried to imagine Caitlyn in her stupid blue and gold uniform, her stupid aristocratic accent, her stupid posh mannerisms–last ditch attempts to paint her as the enemy, Vi found an even stupider grin on her face. She hated herself for it. 

Then there was that side of her. The side that wanted to talk to her and listen instead of letting her bottle up her emotions. The side that cared about what happened to her when she got herself killed through the stupid attempts to fight Silco. The side that wanted to know about the history that Piltover had tried to cover up. The side of Caitlyn that did things not because she had been taught it at her academy, or by her officers, but because she believed it to be right. Now this was the side that came as a surprise to Vi. 

She was everything that she had sworn to hate about Piltover, yet somehow she was more than that. She was just Caitlyn. She was this different being who crashed landed and found her way within the depths of her heart–the parts that still could feel, and she forgot was capable of loving. 

It was already painful to have to kill her that day. But the loop happened. Each day was torture for her, trying to come to grips with what they were to do in the situation that was handed to them. The girl of her dreams was her enemy? She could live with that. The girl of her dreams was her enemy that she was now perpetually stuck with possibly forever, where nobody but them ever retained memories. That blurred everything. 

Vi got the pillow from under her head and buried her face under it. Vi screamed into it, her voice muffled by the pillow until she emptied her chest. Then she settled it back down under her head. 

It was maddening.  She detested it. She hated the idea that some part of her was completely, hopelessly enamored by her. 

She felt silly that she was already harboring feelings for someone who probably saw her as someone beneath her stature. Caitlyn had spent years trying to track her down and was taught that she was the enemy. Why would she ever start to feel something for someone like her? 

Why was Vi even indulging in these thoughts? The part of her that had been hardened by the war wanted to put her walls up and dive in fist-first into a fight so she won’t have to deal with these feelings. But the part of her that remembered those nights with her father as they watched the stars couldn’t let them go. It was only now that she was getting the luxury of feeling things without worrying about the war. Would this be the kind of person she would be if there was no war–head over heels falling for a girl who was out of her league? 

Vi pulled herself out of bed through sheer will. 

She had never ending days to get her chance. Maybe one of them would mean that Caitlyn might feel the same way about her too. That was a reason to get out of bed. Each day, she will try. 

Time continuum

There is nothingness. 

Everything is dark, the dark that could not be described in color. 

Then there is a girl. 

The girl takes one step, then another. It’s strange – there is no floor but she can walk. She raises her leg and somehow she’s also able to levitate off the ground as if there is no gravity. She looks at her hands in front of her–she sees the same flesh and bones but the moment she touches hands together they phase through each other.

She’s not alive, she’s not dead either. 

There is a glowing orange light in the center of the dark. The girl approaches and she realizes it’s amorphous, as she approaches it shifted to look like a pool of water on the ground. She sees her reflection–messy hair, big eyes, and a tattoo on her left cheek. VI. The girl remembers her name is Vi. 

That’s when the memories come back. She was born and raised in Zaun. She has a sister. Parents who she lost. But a father who has found her and taken her up under his wing. The war – being raised as a fighter just to be turned into an agent of chaos. The time machine. Caitlyn. The time loop. The memories come back in a span of milliseconds and suddenly Vi remembers her entire lifetime– what she did to end up here. 

The darkness seems to pulsate as if realizing there was an unwanted being there. 

The orange amorphous light changes shape again, this time glowing like a sun until swooping tendrils flew out of it, expanding further and further like a giant cobweb. Some are thick like sinewy vine, some just as thin as gossamer from a spider. 

Vi approaches the nearest one – one that twisted like a vine that was growing by the second. Nothing happens at first until Vi forces herself to concentrate on the wispy orange light and that’s when she sees it. 

It is as if a million memories jammed inside of her brain, taking unwanted space. Vi has her head in her hands from the transfer of memories. No, these weren’t memories. It is time itself unraveling itself to her through the only comprehensible way she could receive it as a human. 

What phased through her is just what happened in a lifetime where Piltover had won the war. Councilors and enforcers in dress uniforms at a gala, celebrating their win. Zaun in destruction, buildings burnt to the ground. She sees Caitlyn among the crowd of enforcers in her blue uniform with gold tassels, fit in perfectly among the snobby aristocrats. 

Vi pushes the memories out of her mind. She wades through the different threads, settling this time for something thinner and smaller. She focuses herself the way she discovered, clearing her head. Then just the same – memories jamming herself into her mind. 

This was a different lifetime where Zaun had won the war. She sees the rubble on the ground, the white marble she faintly recognizes as part of Piltover’s museum roof, cracked open like a skull. She tries to search for Caitlyn but it was hard to make out among the millions of memories. She feels her hands go cold when she sees Caitlyn’s parents crying outside a tent where they took bodies after the dust settled. No, no, no. 

Vi wades through the dark, reaching at all the threads. Hundreds of different lifetimes open up to her like a flower, a collection of memories of the past, until it stops at whatever present it was, which was ever growing, ever evolving through the orange threads. There are some which are alternate versions of the war while others took a different turn altogether – there is no war at all. Sometimes Vi sees herself and Caitlyn in the memories, sometimes she doesn't because there is just too much mass to sift through. 

But as Vi combs through the threads, she realizes that her own memory is getting foggy. How many years were they stuck in the loop?  Vi can’t remember. Vi runs through what she still knows– her birthday, her sister’s favorite food, Caitlyn’s favorite book. That is a start. 

She looks around the orange threads glowing around her. She couldn’t check them all. Eventually she will forget and it would all be for nothing. She grew stronger in her resolve. She has to know a lifetime out there exists where she and Caitlyn got a happy ending. There has to be one.

There was is where Vi stops, a memory of Caitlyn sitting at the council table, taking her mother’s seat. Vi didn’t know what exactly was going on in the meeting but Caitlyn looked miserable. Vi takes herself out of her head. Why did Caitlyn look miserable? 

Vi curses. She is forgetting. She takes a step back from the threads. 

She tries to imagine things that were once very familiar to her–the familiar viewing deck of the planetarium, the sound of Caitlyn’s voice. But it is fuzzy, losing that clarity they once held. She can’t remember what the tiles of the planetarium were when she had spent so much time there. She can’t hear in her head the same voice of Caitlyn, that accent she once despised but grew to adore. There are gaps burning holes through her memory and it was spreading fast. 

Desperate, Vi mentally steps through a dozen more threads – feeling the toll that each connection has on her head. Making room for them is to lose memories of her own. They all reveal themselves to her but do not yield what she is seeking. 

There has to be a happy ending.

She stops at one memory that passed through her mind. This thread is shorter and less formed than most. What struck her isn’t that in this universe there is no war at all, it is that she sees herself – staring at her dead body. Her other self is in the back alleyway of one of Zaun’s factories alongside other dead people. She immediately recognizes Vander to be the body next to hers. It looks like there was an altercation in a factory– there are masked enforcers outside counting the dead bodies, fixing the ruckus. She has seen herself countless times but never like that. When she didn’t see herself at all, she thought it was implied. But this was a jolt to her bones.

She looks at the other threads. There was so much more. She has the time, but once she loses her memory she would cease to exist. She won’t be Vi anymore. 

Vi didn’t know if it was possible but she feels what was left of her stubborn spirit take over. She will never know the lifetime that awaits where they get a happy ending and that haunted her. But she can write the future of this one. She will not deprive Caitlyn in that lifetime a chance to meet her. I’ll never stop finding you, Caitlyn Kiramman, her own promise ringing still so clearly in her ears. 

She does the unthinkable. She reaches out her hand, concentrating every fiber of her being on connecting herself with that time. The orange tendril responds and is now creeping up her arm. Vi feels a strong tug that rips through her arm, rippling through her entire body as she feels her matter shift. 

In an instant she disappears. 

There is nothingness. 

New life 

The first thing Vi registered was the feeling of her cheek against the dusty pavement. 

She slowly pulled herself up, feeling vertigo before she steadied her feet. She looked at her dusty hands wrapped in bandages–they felt solid. They feel real. 

She realized that she was in Zaun. The dingy roofs and windows of old buildings, the aura of polluted air, people dressed in tattered and mismatched clothes. It felt both home and foreign at the same time. 

It took a second before it hit. She knew her name was Vi, but her own past is just as foggy as a grime-stained mirror. The memory is faint-like watching through a thin blindfold. She knew it was there but she could not understand everything yet. 

The deeper she tried to probe in her memory, she realized she got a splitting headache. But she remembered one thing ever so clearly, one name– Caitlyn. She knew that she had to find her. She was important somehow. Finding her will give Vi some much needed answers. 

Vi pushed herself to get up out of Zaun, taking the route her body registers before her mind. Up the rooftops, jumping through metal pipes, hoisting herself up until the day grows brighter, the air gets cleaner, and she sees it–Piltover with its gold lined roofs and neatly cobbled roads. 

This was the place, she felt it in her bones. She would know more about Caitlyn in this place – it seemed to be calling out to her. She took a few steps, taking in the vast difference of the gilded city over Zaun. She had never set foot in the city in her life but it feels familiar–she has lived this life before. Her eyes catch one of the buildings with a gilded monogram – two letter K’s inverted. The memory came back to her – she faintly recalled a rich mansion, seeing that monogram in the walls, in neatly folded table napkins.

Kiramman. 

Caitlyn Kiramman. 

The memory must be her house, which made sense because Vi knew she had never visited such a rich mansion in her life before. 

A grin spread on Vi’s face, filling her with warmth. That was her. Each familiar thought seemed to bring bits of memory back that she would find out soon enough this memory inside of her that was brimming to spill out. 

Vi barely got around the block when she was stopped by enforcers armed and dressed in blue and gold. They don’t ask her questions. They don’t ask for identification. They just sized her up before Vi felt a chemical-laced cloth cover her mouth. Vi tried to fight but slowly lost her consciousness, watching her vision dim as she was dragged in a back alleyway, seeing her feet dragging against the pavement. 

She did not see Caitlyn that day. Nor the next day. Nor the next. 

She instead woke up inside a four by four room, three walls made of damp and moldy concrete, the other metal bars that went from floor to ceiling. The only source of light was the singular bulb outside in the hallway that often flickered on and off. 

At the start, Vi paced around, shouting to whoever can hear her but all she hears are the grunts of nearby prisoners also in the similar predicament as her. Weeks passed and Vi stopped pacing around, learning not to waste her energy on things she can’t change. The frustration settled deep in her stomach until the impossibility of her situation hits her. She knew no one. She did not even know if any of those from her past in Zaun are still alive. If they are, how can they help her? 

She only knew one name and that person might not even know of her existence. 

Those four walls were all she will ever know. 

Your name

Vi made the mistake of letting somebody else know of her name. 

It was one of those early months in prison, not quite used to how the system worked. Still some sense of fight in her. The guards who handled her often did a routine check with all inmates. They were sometimes just checks if they had any weapons on them, sometimes checks on their cells if they were hiding anything important. 

Two guards had entered her cell, prompting her to get to her feet as they searched under her thin lumpy mattress, her ragged sheets. They checked the walls if there was any weapon lodged in the spaces between cement blocks. 

The smaller of the guards brushed a hand at the wall and frowned. He shone his flashlight towards the portion of the wall close to her bed. There was the name Caitlyn Kiramman carved with the tines of the fork she ate with. 

“Why did you write her name?” The guard with the flashlight narrowed his eyes and pointed the light to Vi, who blocked the light with her hand. 

Vi felt the trembling of her chest. The rattling of her heart in her ribcage that wanted to know. The name had been burned in the back of her mind– she knew that the moment she saw Caitlyn it would all make sense, all the memories that surrounded her like a haze would make sense. But it was impossible as long as she was stuck in prison. 

She gave no reply to which the guard took a personal offense to, taking a step closer at her. He came up right above her head. 

“I’m speaking to you, 516.” 

Vi balled her fist. They can try to make them forget their real names, reduce them to nothing but numbers stamped on fabric she wore. But he will not take Caitlyn’s name away from her. Not the only semblance of a past she so desperately wanted to remember. 

She shrugged–the best impression of nonchalance she could pass off. “I don’t know. It just came to mind.” 

The guard frowned, until he straightened his posture the way all guards did to make themselves seem bigger. “If you’re planning anything funny, you know where you’re ending up.” 

She tried to hide her shaking hand. Everybody knew of the room with no windows; they threw prisoners who acted out. She felt it before anything else, the flogging that came with it. 

The guard and his companion stood for a second longer, casting long shadows with the light in the hallway that was turned on specifically for the routine inspection. He nodded his head to his companion– a giant brutish guard who had with him a wooden bat that he swung around.

The brute quickly pushed Vi against the wall, soft cheek against the grimy cement. She bit her lip as pain shot through her back. She wanted to cry out but she held it in–tuck all the rage, anger, and frustration. Someday she will use it to fight back. But today was not one of those days. 

When the guards were satisfied they stepped out of her cell, sealing her back inside. 

“You better forget that Kiramman girl. She has no business with someone like you.” The thinner guard chided, a hint of amusement in his voice like he enjoyed inflicting emotional pain to inmates. 

Left alone, Vi exhaled away all the tension in her body, for the first time registering the pain that throbbed and stung at her back. More bruises, more scars. She crawled her way back to her cot, her face towards the wall–sideways being the most comfortable position with the beating she had endured. Vi never cried in prison, not even once. But that moment, she tried to bite the sob from coming out. She let her finger graze the name on the wall that got her into trouble, to try to take her mind off from the pain, from giving in to a sob. 

Why was she risking so much for that name? For that girl she didn’t know?

There was this unbearable emptiness inside of her waiting to be filled; physical longing, yearning that left her just as restless gasping for air to breathe. Her past, her emptiness can only be filled by the bearer of this name that carried all the answers. 

Part of her thought that maybe in another life, she loved her. It felt laughable even, to imagine another life while she was wasting hers in the bottom of the prison cell where she couldn’t even feel the sun shine down on her. It was all wishful thinking to numb the pain of reality. 

Just as she felt the tiredness overcome her, about to put her to sleep. She gets a momentary glimpse of a figure lying next to her, facing her. It wasn’t in the prison cell, but it was somewhere else. She couldn’t make out the face but the presence, the aura was distinct. She instinctively knew it was her. 

Caitlyn. 

Feeling herself filling up inside with emotion she couldn’t contain, Vi broke out sobbing–gnarled sounds erupting from her throat, eyes brimming with tears. Maybe she did love her in another lifetime. 

It was her. Somehow tracing her finger on the carved name was able to elicit a memory long hidden underneath her.  But it was always there deep down her. Did they used to lie down facing each other like that, maybe tracing her face, stroking her cheeks? What kind of life did they lead together? 

Vi never spoke of her name again to anyone. Determined to keep that name close. The name that saved her, the name that will keep her going. 

She just had to endure. 

Stepping out 

Vi was wrapping and unwrapping her wrists when her cell bars opened up, to a small scrawny guard. 

“516, you’re called to the superintendent’s office.” 

Vi quickly wrapped back her wrist and got up to follow the guard. Being called to the office was a rare occasion. It usually meant there was trouble waiting for you–fewer lunch privileges, additional community service, sometimes being in the solitary ward. Vi had experienced most of it throughout her stay so safe to say nothing surprised her anymore. 

The office was a small one only enough for about three people– a desk for the superintendent and a seat for whoever he was meeting with. The scrawny guard left Vi to sit alone on the chair. The superintendent, a stout man with a mustache walked into the room and sat opposite Vi. He pulled out folders and licked his finger as he thumbed through them noisily. It was starting to grate Vi’s nerves when he finally spoke. 

“Ah, here it is.” He made a show of pulling out the paper on a beat up folder. Vi realized it was her record. 

“Six years ago,” he read aloud, eyes on the paper. “You had been brought here by Piltover enforcers. There was no specific reason stated.” 

He quickly glanced at Vi before pulling out a newer folder with a logo of Piltover. “According to the ruling of Sheriff Kiramman effective as of today, you are cleared of all charges.”

Vi’s eyes lit up, suddenly attentive. “Wait–what?”

The superintendent nodded and leaned back on his wooden swivel chair. “Yep. The new ruling states that those incarcerated with false or insufficient charges are free to go.” 

Somehow the mention of the name was more important than her freedom. “Could you say that again–Sheriff Kiramman?” 

The man nodded as if Vi had been late to the news–as if news was easy to come by in Stillwater. “Yes. Sheriff Kiramman. Piltover’s youngest sheriff.”

“Sheriff Caitlyn Kiramman?” 

He rolled his eyes, pulling out a cigar and lighting it quickly. “Yes, the daughter of the Kirammans. Now head on to the exit gate, the guard will escort you.” 

Vi felt entranced even as she walked away from the corridor that brought her back to her cell. She had never been as far as the exit gate. There was a lady stationed there who handed her a small rucksack with fresh clothes and a few essential items. 

When the doors opened, Vi was greeted by so much sunlight that filled her inside for the first time with hope. She followed the other inmates who had been pardoned and freed just like her to a raft that took them back to the mainland. 

For so long, Vi had dreamt of freedom that by the time it was staring at her in the face, she felt her knees the weakest they had been. Vi looked to her right at the tram that took people to Zaun. She could go back to where she was familiar with, or she could dive into the unknown in Piltover. Vi walked straight ahead, unsure, but just wanting her feet to take her somewhere. She was savoring it all, the sun on her skin, the wind against her clothes, fresh air to breathe. 

Her foot caught something as she walked– a flier. She bent and picked it up. 

In bold letters it said PILTOVER PEACEKEEPING AT YOUR SERVICE. There was a symbol for what looked like the force of Piltover. But in the center was a faded photograph. Vi almost let go of the flier, letting it fly with the wind. 

It was of a sharp-faced woman wearing a top hat. 

She didn’t need to read the name below to know it was her. It was as if a thousand memories flooded back into Vi’s head. She dropped the rucksack as she fell on her knees. A migraine was overcoming her, the most pain she ever felt in years–she braved it with gritted teeth, hands on her temples, until it eventually subsided. 

When Vi got back on her feet she knew. The other life she had before where she and Caitlyn were sworn rivals fighting on opposite sides of the war. The machine that had them displaced in time, perpetually stuck in the loop. Falling in love over the course of an eternity, just to break the loop. The past she came back to and now the timeline she wanted to change. There were parts that never came back–strange gaps that left her drawing a blank. But with everything she got, it was enough to understand. Her purpose–why she came to this lifetime, why she had to endure all those hard years in Stillwater. The promise she made one day on the beach. 

Tears filled Vi’s eyes but she was done crying. She endured six years to remember everything. Six years for a lifetime of memories. 

She would make it right. 

She had a promise to keep. 

The interview

Caitlyn tapped her fountain pen against the mahogany desk of her private office. 

Most of her enforcers had gone home, it was a friday night after all. But here she was, spending it holed in her office with mounting paperwork that never seemed to end. 

There have been many questions why Caitlyn had chosen the life of an enforcer despite her noble birth, why she stayed to become the sheriff, why she had a penthouse apartment that was too big for one person, why she had lived alone. Most of the time, Caitlyn just shrugged off these questions. She didn’t owe anyone any explanation. But part of her didn’t know why things happened the way it did. 

Was she just a puppet on a string, fate already determined beforehand? For her it was always as if her life was building up to something, something she could not place nor make out. 

She could drop by her parents' estate but she thought against it. They had pestered her many times about it time to put herself out there and settle down with someone. The only problem was, there was no someone she was interested in. The way her peers talked about romantic feelings never really occurred to her so focusing on her career was the only option. 

She thought she could go stargazing that evening. There was Piltover’s planetarium she often dropped by at, for no reason. She felt this weird sort of attachment to the place which was odd since she had only ever been there twice when she was young. She only ever liked one constellation, the lovers. It was kind of ironic since she had chosen to be single but there was something bittersweet about its origins that just moved her so.

Her thoughts were disturbed when there was a rapt knock on her door. She sat up straighter, adjusting the hat she wore. “Come in.” 

It was one of the station’s junior staff. “There’s an applicant here for the enforcer role. Should I bring them in?” 

“Yes please.” Caitlyn neatly tucked away some folders. This was more interesting than paperwork so she will take it. 

Caitlyn had seen a lot of different applicants throughout the years but nothing braced her for the woman standing in front of her, in punk rugged clothing, arms in dirty hand wraps, her dark pink hair partly shaved, and an obnoxious roman numeral tattoo on her face. Caitlyn felt an odd sense of deja vu ripple through her even when she knew it was impossible as it was the first time she was seeing this woman. 

Caitlyn looked at the folder that was handed to her by her staff and read the resume. “So your name is Vi. You’re from Zaun, I see.” Caitlyn realized as she was reading that the woman had not bothered sitting down but instead had her eyes transfixed in hers as she stood by the door frame. 

“Anything the matter?” 

There was something in the blue-gray eyes of the woman that seemed to Caitlyn like she saw her. Not in the way people saw her as a Kiramman or just as the sheriff. But through her. 

Vi shook her head and sat down. “Sorry, you just reminded me of someone.”

“Really? I don’t get that a lot.” Caitlyn tried to keep the air light, focusing back on the resume. She started asking her the routine questions she normally asks applicants –why they wanted to work for the station, how they think they can help with their skills, and what made them a great candidate. 

After Vi answered most questions with confidence, and it was only at the end when Caitlyn heard her voice crack. Vi cleared her throat. “Sorry, I was just really looking forward to getting this job.”

Caitlyn nodded. The way she acted was strange but there was something special about Vi–from her rough background to her genuine desire to help. Caitlyn could tell her heart was in the right place. She pointed to a section on her resume. 

“You just started working as an assistant mechanic in a shop in Piltover not so long ago. It says here your age here is almost the same as mine. There seems to be a gap, some er–missing years.” 

Caitlyn saw Vi stiffen in her seat. She suddenly couldn’t meet Caitlyn’s eyes. 

Not expecting a reply, Caitlyn watched in surprise as Vi started, “I was wrongly imprisoned in Stillwater. Six years. It wasn’t until the reform you passed that they started looking at the records again. They let me out.” 

Caityn’s breath stopped short. She felt the pain, the humiliation that those years have done to Vi who seemed to lose that air of bravado she had when she walked into the room. She forced a smile.  “That’s not a problem. I’m glad to hear my reforms worked, that they can change lives. I’m very adamant about giving people second chances. That’s the kind of leader I want to be.” 

Vi half smiled, yet with that sad half-look in her eyes. 

“Okay I think that’s it for the interview.” Caitlyn had to lighten the mood. “Your resume seems to be well, your references are also fine. You passed the initial resume screening from the HR department. The job’s yours. Do you have any questions for me?” 

“Are you—married?” 

Caitlyn almost choked–she really couldn’t catch a break. But something about the way Vi asked wasn’t of mockery but of genuine interest. “Oh we’re getting personal I see. No, I'm not married. I’m just focused on the job for now.” Caitlyn stood up and held out her gloved hand. Vi took it and Caitlyn was aware of how electric the handshake was, unnerving her. 

Vi lingered at her office, reluctant to go. Caitlyn was not blind to how much she stared at her. She broke that tension. “Sorry, but do we know each other somewhere? I can’t shake this feeling that I should know who you are.” 

Vi looked like she wanted to say a lot, but instead restrained herself. “I think you’ve seen me around the planetarium. I go there a lot.” 

Uncanny how she also was fond of the same place that she was.  Caitlyn quickly waved her off, “Alright, excited to have you on board. See you on Monday.” 

Vi smiled, losing that rough around the edges look for the first time as her voice softened. “Me too.” 

Same place, different time

When Caitlyn wanted some time alone to herself, her feet often shuffled to bring her to the planetarium–the white marble complex with a partial glass domed roof with a view of the heavens. That particular evening, she had a rough day at the station and just needed to clear her head.

The place was abandoned at that time of the night, but it was open to the public. She walked past the polished floors of the exhibit to head to the chamber that held the viewing deck. The room opening out in front of her, Caitlyn found her place by the metal railings as she took in the dark blue sky above. 

She didn’t know why she was drawn to the place when there were countless other destinations in Piltover that meant more to her such as the library she spent some summers, face buried in books, or the museum where her family had been a generous patron to, having attended various private exhibits. She didn’t know the reason any more than the reason why she was so drawn to her partner at work. 

The thought of Vi was enough to pull Caitlyn out of her thoughts, her head in her hands. The budding feelings she was starting to feel for her work partner was a bridge that she did not want to cross yet, more or less acknowledged. Maybe if she kept it down, it would stop from growing. Yet the workplace banter, the time they spent next to each other on the field did not help. Some part of her mind could not erase that smirk Vi had on whenever she made fun of her–something Caitlyn definitely should not be thinking of at this moment. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone’s boot squeaking against the waxed floor. Instinct caused her to turn her body backwards in defense, looking at the empty chamber until she saw a figure emerge from the side corridor. 

Caitlyn’s first thought when she saw Vi with her hands deep in her pockets with that nonchalant gait she always had, was that it was just her rotten luck. Before Caitlyn could even speak, Vi spoke almost in anticipation: “I told you I come here often.” 

Caitlyn just nodded, hyper aware of her own body’s response to having the other girl in her vicinity. 

“I like stargazing. I think constellations can tell a lot of stories, like my father always used to tell me.” Vi spoke as she took a spot against the metal railing, a reasonable space between the two of them. Caitlyn would have cut off the conversation by now because it was getting harder to contain her feelings without being transparent in her body language. However there was something about the way Vi looked–her eyes lost as they unearthed treasures of her past–one that Caitlyn always felt Vi had so much of but never shared, that kept her listening. 

“Stories that last multiple generations, multiple lifetimes. I used to think there was no time for any of this– feeling things, having aspirations, dreaming of a better future. But my father wanted to believe in those things, no matter how hard life got.” 

Caitlyn seemed to think that whatever Vi was talking about was beyond her comprehension and that she was oversharing, but all the same she liked that this was being shared with her. 

“What constellation do you like?” she offered. 

Vi’s upper lip curled at the side, the way she did when in thought. “I know them all, but in particular I just keep coming back to that.” She pointed upwards. Caitlyn followed her finger to see just beneath the gray clouds, the two mirrored S’s forming a trail. 

“The lovers. You’re a romantic, aren’t you?” 

Vi smiled coyly. “Not sure if I call myself that. But I do believe in fighting for love when it matters.” She turned to Caitlyn. “What about you, cupcake? You never told me what brings you here.” 

Caitlyn was thankful for the dark and the singular lamp that shone light on the chamber for her cheeks and ears had flushed at the mention of the nickname Vi had coined over work. “I honestly–I don’t know. I just feel drawn to this place. You know how there’s some things you instantly feel drawn to? LIke a favorite food, place, or person? It’s like that for me.” 

Vi seemed to ponder for a bit, letting her upper body bear her weight against the railing. “You know where I come from, stuff like that, we chalk it up to past lives.” 

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know Zaunites were superstitious or sentimental.” 

Another smile. “Not everyone, maybe just me. Maybe years in prison does that to someone. You try to cling to things beyond your comprehension because it’s better than your reality.” 

“I’m sorry–” 

Vi raised a hand. “It’s fine. But yeah, past lives. It’s not really even the past. Just a different version of you based on all the little decisions people make everyday. That means we each have lived a multitude of lives in this fabric of time. Yet there’s no way of knowing them. Crazy right?” 

Caitlyn felt these words dig in her skin. This felt outside the realm of science that Piltover operated on, but she allowed herself to dwell in the fantasy, letting the detective in her work with this hypothesis. “So you’re suggesting that the reason I feel drawn to this place in particular, in a way I cannot explain, is because I’ve lived a different lifetime where this place somehow was significant?” 

Did that mean that she also felt something for Vi in another lifetime? She quickly extinguished the thought, finding sudden interest in her own gloved hands. 

“Could be.” Vi leaned her hip against the base of the marble statue in the center of the room that depicted the first telescope made in Piltover. Her face had become unreadable as she sighed, barely loud enough to hear, “I’m sorry it took so long to find you.” 

Murmurs too faint to be memories but too specific to be imagined, stirred up and weaved inside of Caitlyn like wisps of smoke before they evaporated. Suddenly everything made sense in a way that will never make sense– Vi, her, and the planetarium were all connected. She was hit with deja vu–this had happened before. It wasn’t a coincidence they met again in this place. It was fate. 

Caitlyn’s response was more of a knee jerk reaction. “What did you say?” 

Vi looked like she had been caught stealing something. She quickly composed herself, running a hand over her messy hair, setting her jaw back in place. “Nevermind. I guess, I better get going. You have a good night, sheriff.” 

Vi turned on her heel, squared shoulders as she strided outside of the room. Caitlyn gave herself a second to register the sinking feeling she’d known deep down in her gut–that Vi wasn’t who she said she was. There was more to her that she never said. Something she didn’t know was actually true before this night. 

Before she could talk herself out of it, her feet moved, taking long strides, until she broke into a full run. The wind sharp against her chest, her uniform flapping around her, her hat flying off her head. She caught up to the other girl just as she was leaving the main doors of the building and pulled at her arm to get her to stop. 

When Vi faced her–a look of both surprise and dread on her face. Caitlyn’s chest was heaving in and out, letting her hands rest on her knees. “Vi–don’t go please–” 

“Cait–it’s nothing…” Vi’s mouth spoke those words but her own face betrayed her–the same heaviness in her whenever she talked about her time incarcerated. The muscle in Vi’s jaw was tense, her eyes unable to meet her. “It’s nothing if you don’t remember. Anyone can get a feeling if they convince themselves enough.” 

“What are you–” 

Vi put her foot down, fists suddenly clenched–more frustrated than angry. Her blue-gray eyes were glassy, reflecting what was left of the natural light of that night. “Listen Cait–I tried. For months. To get you to remember anything, something about the past. But nothing. It’s been hard on me, please don’t say things you don’t mean to get my hopes up.” 

“I know there’s something you’re not telling me, Vi.” Caitlyn said, “I know you’re not from here.” 

Vi slowly turned towards her. “You want the truth? The truth is I’ve loved you for many lifetimes, Caitlyn. I have loved you then and I will never stop loving you. I made a promise to you long ago that I would find you no matter what. But it hasn’t been easy, it got me thrown in prison and maybe that’s where I started to lose hope. I braced myself for the reality that if it was best for you, I would be ready to let you go. If you don’t feel the same, I can just as easily disappear from your life. Just don’t make me hope that I have a chance when I don’t.”

Logic and reason in her head was fighting against this overwhelming fervor inside of her chest. She couldn’t grasp yet completely understood Vi’s words all at once. She knew one thing: that her heart couldn’t bear the despair etched in her partner’s face. Vi sighed, resignation in her shoulders. 

“There was something between us, in another lifetime. I don’t know how I know it. Being in this place with you, it seemed to make sense. It’s like stars aligning.” Caitlyn realized how absurd her words sounded but she had to let Vi know.  “I can’t believe myself for saying it but it’s true.”

“You’re just saying that because that’s what I told you.” Vi shook her head, her bottom lip trembling. “Not good enough.” 

The thought of the girl who always had her heart walking away was falling into a black hole in space. Caitlyn was grasping at air, anything to get her to stay. She combed through any words but what came back to her was something she had never spoken to with anyone. 

“I often dream of a beach.” Her voice felt small, but it echoed enough in the empty exhibit room. Caitlyn concentrated on each word as if they would slip from her mind.  “It’s gray, where the sand looks like gravel. Sea bubbles like foam when it crashes on the sand. I’m there with you I think, barefoot in the sand. Just the sound of wind flapping through fabric, hair all over my face. I don’t know what we did but I just know I was really happy.” 

Vi was ready to turn around but her words had caused a stir– a hint of recognition in Vi’s eyes amid her placid expression that she knew what Caitlyn was referring to. She desperately clutched Vi’s hand and placed it against her chest, for lack of a better start, letting her feel the drumming of her heart. How scared she was. How she was out of her depths. Vi froze at the sudden gesture, before getting the strength to look Caitlyn in the eyes. 

“I’m scared. I don’t know everything about you yet, or where you really come from. I don’t even know if I’m ready to let myself feel again, but my heart knows you Vi. I’ve never let feelings win over reason in all my years, but how I’m willing to throw that away for you is terrifying. Please. Don’t go.” 

“Okay,” she nodded. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Vi took Caitlyn’s hand in both of hers, clutching it tightly against her chest. Caitlyn wondered if it was a trick of the light but she saw water glistening from Vi’s eyes before she blinked them away. 

“I waited for this day for forever.” Vi spoke as if more to herself. 

Now that she got the girl to stay, Caitlyn suddenly felt bare having laid out all of her cards on the table. Her fears were shut when Vi pulled her into a tight embrace, feeling her body pressed against hers, the scent of her hair, her breathing next to her ear. Caitlyn felt herself relax into the hug in a way that seemed the most natural. She didn’t know everything yet, but she knew in another lifetime she must have hugged her like so–like she was the air she needed to breathe, like it was by the universe’s design. 

“The beach,” Caitlyn said, “what happened there?” 

“One day, I’ll tell you the story.”

Falling slowly

Time. 

It was the hardest thing Vi had to give Caitlyn. It was daft to think that she would find Caitlyn and they would fall back into place like they did in another lifetime. Time–a concept that Vi couldn't comprehend in the loop because it never mattered. Time was also the harsh biting reality when Vi woke up and six years had passed and she was still stuck in prison, only a name to go on about the truth of her past. 

But Vi would give Caitlyn time. All the time that she needs. Because she loved her. And even if it was out of her hands, she would give it to her anyway. 

Time was waiting past her work hours just so that she could spend a few hours left of the day with Caitlyn, who stayed longer than anyone in the station. Time was letting Caitlyn learn about her at her own pace, never once making Caitlyn feel like she already knew what the other was sharing. Time was allowing herself to experience it all again–the first time they sat down at a restaurant for a proper date, the first time Caitlyn brought her home to her parents, the first time she first started bringing Caitlyn cupcakes to work. 

One weekend afternoon, Vi was sitting across from Caitlyn in a cafe next to the window. It was still somewhat jarring to Vi that in this time, there was no war. Piltover and Zaun coexisted with each other and she was sitting across from a sheriff who was making reforms not just for Piltover’s best interests, but also for Zaun's. Many months had passed and it was still something she couldn’t completely shake. 

It was heartbreaking for Vi to sometimes think of the distant past where Caitlyn and her shared many lifetimes together, only for her not to remember any of it. Sometimes, Vi had the urge to tell her more about the past lifetime they shared–the sunsets they watched, that favorite spot they had on the beach, all the times they slept in each other’s arms. But there was a part of her that couldn’t bring herself to do it. Sometimes Caitlyn asked about it in bite sized pieces. She knew that there was a war, that they started out as enemies. Vi answered truthfully, never oversharing when she felt like Caitlyn didn’t want to know. And she could live with that. 

Looking at her partner–the stiff posture she always had that never went away, the wide-eyed wonder she had whenever she was in the presence of something new to her, and her child-like way with anything that had to do with sweets or cupcakes. These were all her, the same Caitlyn deep down. The same woman she fell in love with, just in a different time. 

This was a different lifetime. Their love would bloom a bit differently. This was a fact Vi had to learn to accept among other things. 

But the underlying worry was there. Vi had wasted six years in prison, that was six years less in this finite lifetime. She was twenty six, Caitlyn twenty seven– a far cry from being twenty and living the same day all over again. Vi couldn’t help but feel like they were running out of time. These worries refused to quiet her ever beating heart. 

She realized she had been deep in thought when Caitlyn held out a cupcake with pink frosting in front of her. She had on a look that was urging her to take a bite. Vi did as she asked and Caitlyn laughed when a bit of the icing had smeared the tip of her nose. 

Vi wiped the icing with the back of her hand. 

“I was thinking,” Caitlyn started, putting the cupcake down on the ceramic plate. She had that demeanor that told Vi that this was something she had been thinking about for some time. “Maybe we could move in together?” 

Vi didn’t realize her mouth was agape at the admission. 

Caitlyn grimaced. “Too soon?” 

In a time where Vi had to relive everything again from meeting Caitlyn to falling in love, this was new to her. Something permanent that they can have together–something she couldn’t be privileged enough to have in the loop.

Vi shook her head and reached out to hold her hand–a hand she would traverse time for just to hold. “No, I’d love that, Cait.” 

8:59

Vi tossed under the white sheets, fingers twitching, her breath shortening, her mind ran a million paces in milliseconds. She craned her neck to check the clock Caitlyn had in her stand. 

8:58 PM. 

One minute left. 

Her eyes fell on Caitlyn, lying on her back in her silk camisole and underwear, already asleep from the tiring succession of work days they’ve had. 

It has been years–a different lifetime altogether, but she could never get used to the normal passage of night, the normal passage of time. She could feel it more than she could remember in vivid detail–arms enveloped around the person she loved, basking in her aura one second, until it was 8:59 PM and everything would cease to exist. Her world as she knew it would be gone and she would have to find her again. 

She carefully snaked an arm around Caitlyn’s waist, clutching her close. She concentrated her energy in preserving the mental image of her sleeping next to her, her indigo hair neatly pressed underneath her head, her half open mouth when she slept, the way her cheekbones caught the faint glow of the night. 

Without opening her eyes, Caitlyn’s other arm went on top of Vi’s–her innate ability to read any situation perfectly, always say the right thing sometimes even without words. 

She was real. They were real. 

One minute passed, then the next. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” she assured. 

Sometimes, Vi still needed to hear those words. 

Future

Vi unlocked the door of their apartment. She was greeted instantly by the high pitched voice of her daughter, Violet, who ran up to hug her. She kissed her daughter on the forehead and with one arm, swooped to pick her up to hoist her against her hip. Violet looked like her mother with her almond eyes, but her hair was a little less indigo and looked like a combination of their hair colors. To Vi, she was the most important thing in the universe–next to Caitlyn of course. 

Caitlyn appeared in the hallway, her hair in a messy ponytail, that assertive look in her eye that never went away whether at work or at home. “Did you get the eggs like I asked?” 

Vi raised the paper bag in her other arm and handed it over to her wife. 

Caitlyn eventually smiled and kissed her before disappearing in the kitchen to prepare the ingredients for baking. 

Vi handed her daughter a stuffed toy that she picked up at the mart– a stuffed doll in a dress. Violet immediately grabbed it and pulled it into a crushing hug, making Vi laugh. 

This was a typical weekend afternoon for them. Caitlyn hated running errands because she was stopped by everyone wanting to talk to the sheriff, so Vi was happy to take that task. Vi was never much good with baking or the kitchen, so she let Caitlyn do that. They were a good team like that. 

That evening they were cuddled at the couch as Caitlyn read their daughter a bedtime story in a picture book. Violet was nestled between the two of them, but Vi had her arm over the back of the couch to reach where Caitlyn sat. 

When Caitlyn had reached the end of the page, Violet eagerly turned to her mother. “Tell me the time travel story, mum.”

Caitlyn’s eyes met Vi. This was something she told her daughter whenever it was just the two of them. 

 She quickly took charge of the situation, tickling her daughter. “But your mother just told you a perfectly great story about Mr. Truffle the Elephant.”

“I like the time travel story!” 

Vi sighed even when knowing there was no winning when it came to her own daughter. She gave her partner an assured grin that she got it. 

And so Vi told her, the way she usually started her story. Parts were exaggerated when needed to, because kids her age liked to see the big picture. She also didn’t have to delve in too deep at some parts. 

The whole time as Vi told her story, watching her daughter’s dreamy expression, mouth wide open in an expectant grin. She also watched Caitlyn’s expression from the corner of her eye–Caitlyn who seemed to let her mind wander with the story. She could see sometimes how she longed to know more even if she never pushed. Vi never told Caitlyn everything she remembered. It was a decision she made very early on in their relationship. She was scared to give Caitlyn a burden of carrying and remembering something. She wanted Caitlyn to make new memories with her. For Vi, Caitlyn sharing the same feelings was enough. 

“It took her some time, it cost her a lot of things as well, but eventually the agent made it to another lifetime. The world was a bit different than the kingdom she was used to, she had also gotten herself in trouble for a while, but she eventually found her way back to her love.” Vi finished, pleased with her retelling from the look of her daughter’s face. 

“Did they live happily ever after?” Violet asked, quizzical, always like her own mother. Vi stroked her cheek. 

“Of course. Very happy indeed.” She winked at her wife, who broke into a smile. “Alright, let’s get you to bed.” 

After they had tucked their daughter to bed and had retired to their room. Caitlyn always chose to lie against her chest instead of the pillow. Vi held her close, as if she would lose her if she didn’t. 

“Why did you do it?” Caitlyn broke the silence. “Why did you choose to go back in time just to get stuck in time? You lived the perfect life.” 

It was a question that Vi often asked herself when left alone to her thoughts. The actual details of being stuck in time itself was a blur to her yet her motivations were distinct.  “I wanted to know. That we could exist somewhere that wasn’t time’s anomaly. That we were real. That we could be real.” Vi bent to kiss her forehead. “It worked, didn’t it?” 

Caitlyn chuckled. “I guess it did. You’re such a romantic.” Caitlyn started fiddling with Vi’s fingers, lacing them. “I’m glad you found your way to me, Vi. It’s a lonely world without you,” Caitlyn’s voice sounding small. 

Vi had told her about what happened to herself in this lifetime if she didn’t intervene. They didn’t talk about things like this often as it was a difficult and complicated topic. Vi held her tighter. 

She thought back to the eternity they once shared, the perfect place, but also an imperfect reality. Vi remembered how she burst into tears when she and Caitlyn first had a photograph together and she held the paper in her hands after it got developed. Caitlyn had asked her why, but she would never understand how much Vi was deprived of those things in the loop – a place where memory was the only constant. 

This lifetime was finite. She could feel herself aging every year and at some point she would cease to exist and leave this world. She also found out that when she didn’t draw out her memories, they started to fade into obscurity the way memories naturally should –losing that striking clarity she always had in the loop. Maybe that was how it was supposed to go. 

But the finiteness was a gift. It made even the most mundane of things special, words carrying greater weight than they would have. 

“You’re deep in thought.” Caitlyn remarked. “Care to share?” 

“I used to imagine a future before, a future I couldn’t have. A house overlooking the city, to get married, have kids.” Vi turned to Caitlyn and gently stroked her cheek. “But now I’m so lucky this is my everyday life.” 

She continued, “In the loop, we figured out how to live in a world where there was no pain, no bad days, just pure bliss. But it wasn’t real. I’d take any hard day that life throws at me because I get to come home to this.”

“Even when I drive you crazy with the chores?”  

Vi laughed. “Even that.”

“Even if I’m your boss at work?” Now Caitlyn was just teasing her, eyebrows slanted. 

“At least I know I’m never getting fired.”

“What happens when I start to get old and look like mum?” Caitlyn teased shyly. She knew where that shyness came from the previous week when she had seen a singular gray hair in Caitlyn’s temples–the same place where her mother’s gray hair grew and it drove Caitlyn crazy. 

A dawn on the beach flashed in Vi's mind for a brief second, the way some memories refused to be forgotten. Memory was fleeting but feelings weren’t. She would cease to live a hundred lifetimes–for most people one well-spent lifetime was just as enough. One day Vi would forget but she didn't need to look back anymore when all she needed was ahead of her. 

She spoke words she meant with each breath. “Cait, you are my future. I’d grow old with you.”