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Being in love can be a problem in the idol world: between the fans that always make assumptions, the risk of ruining the work environment and the chance of being in an unrequited love, the people who work in this industry tend to remain single.
For most people that’s not a problem, especially for those that have no interest in dating in the first place.
Subaru was not one of them however.
She had never really thought about falling in love back when she joined Hololive, too distracted with her life problems and her house burning down. Back then, she only focused on her work and stream to distract herself from her problems.
And along the way, she made friends.
The girls in Hololive soon became her second family, the people she could share her thoughts and memories with. Among them there was one girl in particular that Subaru had particularly grown close to since the beginning: Nakiri Ayame. The Oni was one of the first girls to actually message Subaru as soon as she had debuted.
“Nice to meet you! I hope we will have lots of fun as genmates!” That was the first message Subaru had received from her. From then it took Subaru a while before she eventually became friends with the demon girl, but from the start she could tell that how she felt about Ayame was different from anyone else. Her smile would be wider and her eyes would shine like stars whenever the Oni was involved in any conversation with her.
By the time HoloEN debuted, Subaru realized that the feelings she felt towards Ayame was actually ‘love’.
At first she didn’t know what to do. She was sure that confessing was a horrible idea and that this would not only get her in trouble with management but ruin the friendship that she had worked hard for. Her intent was settled on not saying anything and hope that everything would solve by itself.
One night when the two girls were waiting for the train at the empty station, Ayame had mentioned liking someone and Subaru was left distraught by that… until the Oni kissed her on the lips and confessed that she was the one she had fallen in love with. Subaru was beyond overjoyed from that and told Ayame the truth of her own feelings.
Subaru was worried about what they were going to do: they couldn’t keep it a secret from management if they started dating. Ayame simply reassured that it was going to be fine and so Subaru ended up trusting her.
They scheduled a meeting with A-chan to discuss, keeping things vague to the woman. The two ended up telling the truth and, much to Subaru’s surprise, A-chan was very happy for them. The only thing she advised them to avoid was telling the fans about their relationship, but that wasn’t really an issue since the fans liked to joke about ships all the time.
With the approval from management, the two girls could officially date.
A week after the discussion with A-chan, the couple met at a bubble tea store for a date when Ayame asked an important question.
“Should we tell anyone that… y’know… we are a thing?”
Subaru, distracted by a tasty donut, swallowed the bite of the sweet that she had in her mouth and pondered for a moment on what her girlfriend had asked. “I mean, I think maybe? I don’t really know…” It was clear that Subaru wasn’t sure.
“I think that we shouldn’t tell many people, only our closest friends.” She then added, seeing Ayame nod as she took a sip of her own tea.
“What about Fubuki and Mio? They probably should know about this since we collab so many times and they will definitely notice something weird between us two.” The Oni’s statement was true and Subaru reached to hold her girlfriend’s hand and stroke it using her thumb. “You are right, but if we tell them prepare for the interrogatory from the both of them!” The couple chuckled at that and, with their mind made up, decided to message their friends to discuss of their newly formed relationship.
They organized a FAMS offcollab for the upcoming Thursday and the 4 days of wait were a mixture of anxiety and excitement. There was the tiny worry that maybe the girls would say something negative about them dating, but that was just the nervousness talking.
The plan was to share the information after the collab (since they would all spend the night over at Subaru’s place).
The day of the collab things went great: they played Super Mario Party together and the fun that they had was over the roof. When the stream was over, Ayame and Subaru looked at their friends with serious looks that made both Mio and Fubuki worried.
“Me and Subaru…”
“We are dating, and you guys are the first ones to find out beside management.”
Silence befell the room and then all of a sudden Subaru and Ayame were enveloped in a giant group-hug. “That’s amazing! I am so happy for you two!!” Fubuki shouted, her tail wagging from the excitement while Mio gave them a simple ‘congratulation!’.
From that day, things continued smoothly for the couple: they hadn’t been dating for long so there wasn’t much going on beside dates and good morning texts.
Everything was great.
But at one point, Subaru noticed a problem: it happened during a collab with Choco and Luna. The trio was busy playing Ark together and while Subaru and Choco were busy getting some wood for their base, Luna had screamed for help.
“A TRICERATOPS!”
“Hold on Luna! We are coming!!” Subaru and Choco rushed to the scene and, with immense amount of luck, managed to kill the beast even if the base was partially destroyed. “Oh, my hero!” Luna had spoken, sending a bunch of kisses in Subaru’s direction as if to thank her for her efforts.
“My, you love Subaru so much you forgot to thank me.”
“Hehe, sorry Choco-sensei! But it’s true, I like Subaru a lot!”
The sentence and the general reaction made Subaru feel… weird. Usually she wouldn’t have really minded and simply reply back with a ‘stop messing around!’ but now she was just silent.
For the rest of the stream, Subaru was far more quieter than usual and didn’t give long replies unless it was necessary. The other girls didn’t seem to notice as they were too busy with the game and luckily the fans didn’t also make a fuss. When everything was over, Subaru excused herself saying that she was supposed to work on a thumbnail for her next stream.
When she left the discord call with Choco and Luna, the dark-haired girl was left on her own in front of her desk.
She didn’t know why she was so bothered but the rational side of her brain was telling her that everything was fine and that there was nothing to worry about. ‘Maybe I am just not used to Luna’s antics anymore… I mean, it has been a while since the last time we actually did anything together.’ Subaru tried telling herself, her worries forgotten.
Another week from that day, Subaru had been talking on discord with Luna to discuss her possible invitation for her Oozora Police series.
“I thought you could join the call after Polka, if that’s okay with you.”
“That works for me!”
“Great! Then I will write you down on the schedule-“
“Hey Subaru, if I end up being guilty can you let it slide since you love me so much?” At that, the dark-haired girl’s eyes widened “I-I can’t do that!” the princess simply said ‘aww’ in a disappointed tone.
The call ended a couple of minutes later and Subaru once again felt that weird sensation that she had during the Ark collab. Multiple questions popped in her head: should she say something about it? Does Luna joke about that because maybe she likes her? What would Ayame feel about this?
The last question really stuck to her. Subaru wasn’t sure about how her girlfriend’s feelings regarding this, but she believed that seeing her girlfriend being flirted on by someone else (and that someone being one of their kouhais) would make her incredibly angry. Her and Luna had been friends for a long while but now that she was dating Ayame she felt weird about those comments.
‘I don’t want her to feel jealous…’ she thought, wondering what she should do to deal with her feelings and Luna’s own. ‘What if I hurt Luna?’ There was a fear that the answer to that question was going to be the worst outcome, but Subaru’s biggest fear was losing the friendship with her friend.
Her attention was caught by a call on discord from her girlfriend.
Subaru looked at the icon pop up as the jingle of the call kept playing in the background. “Guess I will have to talk with Luna about it.” The dark-haired girl picked her decision as her mouse hovered towards the ‘reply’ button.
-----------------------------------------
The cold hair of winter caused white puffs of breath appear in the air.
Subaru was patiently waiting at the bus stop where Luna was supposed to arrive in a matter of minutes. The dark-haired girl had come to the realization that she needed to tell the princess about the fact that she was no longer single and that she was dating none other than Nakiri Ayame. She had decided to invite Luna to shop at a mall and then take her to a pancake and waffle place called “Waff and Pancs” to then talk about what Subaru needed to say.
Easy enough in theory, but hard in practice.
Subaru was almost too nice at times, especially when Luna was involved in the situation. She didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but she was forced to do something before Ayame could get jealous, especially since the Oozora Police collab was going to happen in a matter of days: she needed to sort everything out to avoid any accidents during the stream.
“Maybe I should also tell Choco to stop with the jokes about me getting flustered in front of Luna…”
That was another issue that Subaru was going to have to deal with, but right now she needed to focus on someone else.
She looked at the time on her phone that read 02.09 pm. Luna’s bus was supposed to arrive in exactly one minute and, if nothing wrong happened, Subaru wouldn’t have to wait for long in the cold. The bus arrived when the clock ticked at 02.11 pm and the princess was the first one to get down, rushing to hug Subaru with a huge smile plastered on her face.
“H-hey Luna.”
“I missed you! It’s been a while since we actually hung out for real.” Subaru nodded, patting the girl on the back before the princess moved away. “I hope you didn’t have to wait long for me, it’s freezing out here!” Luna commented and the dark-haired girl simply shook her head.
“It’s fine, I just arrived here too…” Subaru couldn’t help but stare at Luna’s face: she seemed clearly happy about seeing her and the dark-haired girl only felt worse about telling her the truth. If she had to do something like that, at least she needed to let her have fun for the rest of the day. “So, wanna go inside the mall and avoid becoming popsicles here in the street?” Subaru asked, earning a giggle from the princess.
“Yes please!” as Luna spoke, her hand reached to hold Subaru’s own, making the poor girl panic. ‘This should be fine… I mean, we held hands many times even before I started dating Ayame.’
“Are you okay?” Luna asked her, causing the dark-haired girl to scratch the back of her head.
“A-ah nothing, just the cold- C’mon let’s go!” Luna seemed to believe her and the internal conflict between Subaru was settled for now so the two headed inside the shopping center for a day of fun before the important talk.
The shopping center was not a small place: on the first floor there was the clothing section, on the second the arcade and on the third the food section.
If there was anything that they wanted to do, it was here.
Walking through the sliding doors, they were greeted by the sight of many people walking in and out from clothing shops and Luna's awe was made evident. "Subaru! Let's go there!" The princess pointed towards the direction of a store that sold many cute dresses. "Oh, ok we can go-" her sentence wasn't even over and Luna was already dragging her away.
Stepping inside the store, Subaru’s eyes were attacked by the sight of pinks and pastel colors everywhere: from corsets that made lack of oxygen seem worth it to big fluffy gowns of different shades. This store screamed Luna’s name everywhere and Subaru knew that.
When deciding where to go for this day she remembered Luna mentioning a store that sold clothes that she loved and, after 10 minutes spent struggling to remember the name, Subaru found that the store in question was in here. Luna had let go of her friend’s arm to go and look at all the different things, mesmerized by the many clothes that suited her tastes.
Subaru smiled at the scene, seeing Luna reach for many pieces of clothing and wondering which ones would suit her more.
‘Maybe I could gift her something to go with one of the dresses if she ends up buying one.’ She thought, seeing the princess grab a bunch of clothes and walking towards the changing room. She followed behind her while Luna chatted away about her choices in the clothes.
Luna entered the changing cabin and tried on every single piece of clothes that she picked, asking Subaru for her judgement every time.
“What do you think of this one? I think I might need a smaller size… it doesn’t fit me well in the chest area, what do you say?” Luna asked, looking at her dress and then towards Subaru. “I- Well I think you could pick a smaller size…” At the reply, the princess faked a pout as she crossed her arms. “Are you saying that my boobs are small?” Subaru was almost about to reply ‘But you were the one that said the dress was too big for you!’ but managed to contain herself, especially because Luna had leaned closer to her and was looking at her with a giant smirk.
“You can always check how they are yourself-“
“I WILL GO GET YOU A SMALLER SIZE!!” Subaru’s face turned a bright red and she immediately rushed out of the changing rooms, rushing to go look for the dress and avoid Luna’s advances.
It didn’t really matter to Subaru if she was joking or not, but she was dating Ayame and she loved her. Having this type of conversation with Luna was getting to her and Subaru couldn’t help but feel like she was in conflict with her plan.
She had missed spending time like this with Luna but if Ayame found out that Luna was the kind of girl to make those kinds of comments, she didn’t have the certainty that it would end up fine.
But even with all of that, she was having fun. Ever since she started dating Ayame, most of her free time had been spent with the Oni and unfortunately this resulted in Subaru’s time being divided between streaming and her girlfriend. Most of her friends didn’t know that Subaru and Ayame were dating, so they didn’t know why the dark-haired girl wasn’t hanging out with them lately.
Luna was a dear friend of her and it didn’t matter that Subaru was her senpai: the two hit it off and had become buddies in a matter of weeks of knowing each other.
But now here she was.
Taking her friend out for shopping as an excuse to tell her the truth.
Subaru sighed softly, finding the dress that she was looking for and walking back to Luna. “Here, try this one.” She gave a tiny smile to Luna who, in return, smiled back. “Thank you Subaru! You are the best!” Luna disappeared once again behind the curtains of the cabin and changed once more.
She came out again a couple of minutes later, staring in joy at the way her dress looked. “This one is perfect! It fits me, it’s pretty and it’s not too expensive!” Subaru nodded, waiting for her friend to put on her normal clothes (which weren’t much different from the dress she had just tried on) and grabbed the new dress as Luna handed it to her.
She checked the price and smiled, walking towards the register.
By the time Luna was ready and exited the cabin, she couldn’t see Subaru in the store. She looked around and managed to spot her at the exit, holding a bag with her dress. It took her a moment to realize what her friend had done, but as soon as she did she walked over and looked at her like she was crazy.
“Oh, hey Luna.” Subaru greeted her, immediately noticing the rather weird look she was receiving.
“I could have paid for that you know…”
Subaru looked at her and blinked, giving one of her dorky smiles. “Well yeah, but I wanted to gift you something since I haven’t had the time to hang out recently.” Luna looked at her with an unamused expression.
“Last time you bought me an entire strawberry cake.” The princess stated as a matter of fact and Subaru suddenly remembered of the last time they went to grab some sweets. “Oh…” She couldn’t come up with a comeback of any sort: she was known for being quite considerate and loved giving gifts to her friends.
“Thank you, Subaru. Guess that means I’ll pay for your pancakes, huh?” Luna teased her and Subaru smiled sheepishly.
They walked together in other stores, checking for more clothes and trying on some stuff (Luna tried to buy a cute frills dress for the dark-haired girl but failed) before moving towards the arcade at the second floor. There, the two played a bunch of games together: metal slug, street fighter 2, dance dance revolution and so on. It was a surprise for Luna to see that Subaru was quite good at street fighter even if she was just randomly smashing buttons.
But that wasn’t the important part, they were simply two friends having fun together. The atmosphere was filled with happiness and joy, even if Subaru knew that after this she would have to discuss things with her friend.
She tried to stall for as much time as she could, trying to convince Luna to play another round every time.
“Come on, don’t you want to kick my butt again?” She asked her, showing a bunch of 100 yen coins that were in her hands.
“Actually I am a bit hungry, wanna go to the Waffs and Pancs?”
“O-oh, s-sure…”
The two left the arcade and walked to the third floor. With each step closer to the waffles and pancakes store Subaru felt like she was feeling sicker, her anxiety kicking in but not showing on her face yet. They entered the store and, immediately, the dark-haired girl eyed the balcony. Since it was winter, no one was sitting out there just like she hoped it to be.
“Let’s sit outside.” Subaru proposed and Luna looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
“But it’s cold…”
“W-well we are going to eat warm food so it’s gonna be fine.” The princess noticed that there was something weird with Subaru but decided to not say anything and simply followed her out. A waiter came soon after to get their orders and both girls decided to go with pancakes, Subaru with maple syrup and blueberries and Luna with Nutella.
The girls ate their food and the princess decided to chat away, talking about some past streams and other conversations that she had with other members.
“-so Kanata woke up late for the collab and we all laughed it off!” She chuckled at the story alongside Subaru, even if the dark-haired girl didn’t seem to be in the same laughing mood. Luna looked at Subaru as she slowly put another piece of the barely-touched pancake in her mouth and grew worried. “What’s wrong? You don’t like the pancake?” She asked and Subaru’s attention snapped back to her friend.
Her fork stayed in the air for a moment before she glanced down and put down the fork on the plate, sighing softly.
“Listen Luna… I- I have something to tell you.”
The tone worried the princess but she slowly nodded. “Ok…” Subaru took a deep breath, staring at her lap as her fists clenched on the fabric of her pants.
“Umh… so…” ‘Breathe in Subaru, it’s okay. You just have to tell your friend to stop flirting with you because your girlfriend might get jealous and also that you have started dating Ayame recently.’ Her thoughts weren’t making things easier and Luna could only glance worriedly at her friend. “Recently I got into a uh… a certain situation that I hope will last.” She started her explanation and Luna simply listened quietly.
“And so uh… what I’m trying to say is that…”
A moment of silence.
“I am dating Ayame now…”
Another moment of silence. Subaru’s eyes squinted for a moment with fear before she continued talking. “Only Mio and Fubuki know beside you and t-the reason I’m telling you this is not only because you are one of my best friends, but because ermh… I think those jokes, god I hope they are jokes- where you flirt with me are kind of…” Subaru made a weird gesture with her hands but Luna kept looking at her with the same expression.
“Anyway… I don’t want things to be weird because of these flirts and I don’t want anyone to feel jealous or weird so…”
The fact that Luna wasn’t saying anything was making Subaru more worried with each second ticking away at the clock.
“L-lun-“
“Subaru-senpai.”
‘Oh no, she’s calling me senpai… this is not good.’ Subaru gulped her saliva down, nervously staring at her friend’s face as it morphed into a serious expression.
“Congratulations!!” Subaru was left wide eyed at the sight of her friend grinning at her, standing up from her chair to walk over to her and envelope her in a hug. “E-eh?” The dark-haired girl was stunned by what she was witnessing.
“Y-you aren’t angry?” She asked Luna when she separated and went back to her chair.
“Are you kidding?? Why would I be? I am so happy for you!” The princess smiled widely with the answer “I realized that my flirting comments made you more flustered than usual so I wanted to ask you if something was wrong…” Subaru felt the anxiety slowly lift off from her and smiled.
“So you are worried that Ayame might be jealous? Why didn’t you ask her?”
“Ah- I was scared…” Subaru admitted, earning a giggle from the princess. “Don’t worry Subaru, I will tone the flirting down, but you better discuss this with Ayame!” Luna stated with a scolding look and the dark-haired girl could only nod with an embarrassed look on her face.
“Remember Subaru, you should never feel scared about telling me anything. I have known you for so long and I know how hard you can be on yourself. The fact that you found the courage to tell me something so personal means a lot to me.” The princess added, making Subaru tear up a little.
“A-ah, thank you… I was worried that maybe you didn’t want to be my friend anymore…”
“Because you are asking me to stop flirting with you as a joke?? No way!” She chuckled loudly and finally, Subaru felt like she could breathe normally.
“Since I am one of your best friends, you better tell me all the juicy details.” Luna teased with a smirk and, despite the blush on Subaru’s face, the two started talking about Subaru’s love life even after their pancakes were all gone from their plates.