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Chapter Text

As the people of Mondstadt thought Diluc was finally done with disappearing without any notice, they heard that the young master left without anything but a short note he left behind. The workers of Dawn Winery never explained what they knew so far and refused to reveal what the note had offered.

"I feel like I owe you all an apology for this sudden decision. Please, take good care of Dawn Winery while I am away. I shall return soon—far sooner than my last departure. I need time to think and reconsider my actions. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all for understanding."

Despite these words, what truly weighed on Diluc’s mind remained a mystery, even to Adelinde, who had known him for years. She knew he harbored emotions and struggles difficult to confront, but this sudden departure perplexed her. What could have provoked him so severely and suddenly? How could a man of his stance and maturity find peace in escapism?

Who provoked him?

Like everyone else, Adelinde began to suspect that Kaeya had something to do with it. Not that she had any negative thoughts about him, on the contrary, she always believed Kaeya was still the same old lad under the disguise of an adult. But the cavalry captain would often visit the winery and do things that would anger Diluc, his teasing tone and constant bickering seemingly intent on stirring trouble. What once might have been seen as the harmless antics of estranged brothers had soured into something darker. Their bond, long fractured, had eroded to a point where Kaeya’s jabs no longer felt playful—they felt cruel.

While this didn’t entirely explain why Diluc had left, it was clear that Kaeya’s behavior had played a part. People didn’t hesitate to suggest as much to Kaeya, some with drunken bravado, others with a bored, indifferent tone as though repeating an old, stale joke.

Throughout the first week, the younger one barely showed any signs of uneasiness. Yes, he visited Angel’s Share one day less and worked overtime for a couple of hours but his life went on. Then came the second week and his unanswered questions grew uneasy. Despite playing the cold-blooded and calm knight, he couldn’t help but ask about Diluc wherever he went. Even to the tourists he would ask, if they have ever seen a sulking man with a Pyro Vision and red hair.

“I wonder what Diluc is doing right now.”

“I wonder where Diluc is right now.”

“Does anyone have any idea where Diluc might be?”

“I wonder what he’s busy with so much.”

“When was the last time we saw Diluc?”

“How long has it been since he left?”

“He’s not in danger, right?”

Donna, someone who loved Diluc so much and spent her days thinking about him was especially mad about the entire situation. She didn’t see herself in the position to “save” Diluc, no one could, but she still wanted an answer. Anger and worry clustered and gave birth to frustration, she started confronting every reason that might have caused Diluc Ragnvindr to leave Mondstadt again. And Kaeya was one of her targets, as all the whispers and rumors mentioned his name at least once.

“Just get it, he’s avoiding you! It’s your fault that he doesn’t want to come back! Who would want to, really? No one can blame Master Diluc, I would leave too if I had to deal with someone like you! Are you happy now?”

To scream such comments at one of the most talented swordsmen in the Knights of Favonius, she had to be furious beyond words. No matter how verbal she and many other fans of Diluc got, Kaeya always defended himself with a gentle smile; thanking them for being so considerate and trying their best for Diluc’s sake.

And the comments continued when people realized Kaeya didn’t seem to get defensive, the opposite, he would laugh at them and try to end the conversation. His careless attitude provoked more people, giving them the impression that Kaeya was not only the reason Diluc left but that he was aware of it and had fun with the truth too.

Mondstadt had a tightly connected public, it was nigh impossible for news and rumors to not spread. From one ear to the other, the whispers got so grotesque and plain ridiculous that a majority of the common folk grew away from their sly but lovable captain. Not even his romantic approaches and innocent gaze could fix the damage done to his name.

“He’s much likely happier, without a certain someone,”

“Did you act like that on purpose so he would leave again?”

“Are you keep asking the same things because you’ve run out of questions?”

“Why don’t you act as if you left too? I wonder how quickly Master Diluc will come back.”

“Like, no one can blame him, we all know how you would talk to him all the time.”

“Poor Master Diluc, his days would be all fine and calm until you step into the scene and somehow drive him insane.”

“I wonder what he thinks whenever he looks at you, he sighs a lot and frowns even more, everyone got the message but you.”

“He might be in danger, but he definitely thinks it is better than being stuck with you.”

When the comments got ruder and more often, Kaeya started to work outside more. Blaming it on being bored of sitting all day and signing paperwork, he tried to stay away from the city as much as he could. Despite the growing tension within, he never once allowed himself to show weakness. During midnight, when it was him and his inner voice only, the one to wipe his tears was the pillow.

The constant questions and remarks wore thin on Kaeya, yet he never showed any sign of frustration. Instead, he’d laugh, waving off the slanders with his usual aloofness. But behind the smile, Kaeya was deeply unsettled. He had been one of the reasons Diluc left—he knew that much. But could he have truly pushed him so far away?

As he sat on one of the stones inside the forest, all by himself after a tiring midnight duty, all he could feel was his trembling hands. Frustration filled his mind, he had no idea what to feel. He was there and not, even his body felt like a foreign vessel that had nothing to do with him. Countless questions and what-ifs targeted his ego, so fragile and tattered after all the comments.

His mind raced with conflicting emotions. He wanted to confront those who mocked him, to defend himself. He wanted to shout that he hadn’t meant to drive Diluc away, that the teasing had been his only way of keeping some form of connection alive. He wanted to confess that he teased Diluc not because he wanted him gone but because he had no other way of talking with him.

He wanted his brother with him, not away from him… Diluc was a strong and intelligent man, surely he could sense all of the light insults and remarks carried little to no seriousness, right? The bystanders could never understand what he had with his estranged brother, they must have got it all wrong, Diluc would never leave Mondstadt over a man angering the devil out of him.

Right? Right?

Then why did their claims sound more and more accurate each day? Why did they grow more solid and actual shreds of evidence started showing up as weeks passed? Why did everyone seem to agree with one another?

But all he could do was smile, waiting until they were done with their so-called theories, and think of clever ways to end the conversation. He had no strength to explain himself, no will to fight for something he knew so well everyone had their unshakable thoughts about.

All of them would find out upon Diluc’s arrival, eventually.

When he let the tears land on his knees, he remembered it had been two months since Diluc left. He wasn’t going to come back, is he? And Kaeya didn’t have Diluc’s Vision, too, he would never be able to know if Diluc was doing alright.

Away from him, definitely happier, choosing wilderness over the beautiful winery Kaeya would give everything to live in just for a month.

A month, one singular month, thirty days only… Kaeya wondered if they would let him stay there for a month. He was already close to Dawn Winery, his eye locked on the majestic building where he used to spend his time playing games with Diluc. Now nothing was left but burning memories aching inside his heart.

He wished he could burn with those memories, turn into ashes, and set himself free in the countless winds.

Before he could stop himself, Kaeya found his feet moving toward the winery. His home called for him, he waved at Kaeya to come back and his body obeyed before his mind could register where he was. He knocked on the door, his heart pounding as he imagined the face that might greet him. When Adelinde opened the door, her hopeful expression quickly shifted into disappointment upon seeing him.

Only Diluc would arrive there and casually knock on the door at such an hour, she must have expected the precious winemaker instead of the reason why he was out in the wilderness. Neither Kaeya could blame Adelinde for her saddened expression nor Adelinde could come up with a quick excuse.

He tried to not take it to heart, he really did. But failed, his emotions were more complicated than ever and the exhaustion of the day didn’t help.

"Master Kaeya," she greeted, her voice polite but distant. He hated that fabricated, fake tone. Surely she didn’t believe in the rumors, did she? Adelinde knew them better than Diluc and Kaeya knew each other, surely she could see past his facade and realize that all those remarks were meant to get Diluc’s attention.

Right? Right?

He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat. He stopped smiling, he stopped talking with others if it had nothing to do with their job. And now, he felt more desperate than ever to get his humane needs fulfilled. He felt like an abandoned puppy, searching for a home so he could warm his heart.

To eat Adelinde’s beautiful cooking, sleep peacefully in the cozy winery filled with memories, smile at the smallest detail, and try to talk with everyone… Thirty days sounded too unrealistic. He just wanted a single day, that was it, he could get himself together if only he was to stay there for a single day and think properly.

He yearned for a home that was never meant to be his.

He could beg, he could offer everything he had. He didn’t feel like going back to Mondstadt. He wanted to stay away. He was afraid of going there, he could feel the questioning gazes and spiteful mouths whispering his name as if it was the greatest blasphemy. Yet Kaeya had that unbearable feeling that something bad would happen if he were to stay outside.

Kaeya loved Mondstadt, but he couldn’t convince himself to walk one step closer. He found himself empathizing with Diluc. To love a place so much that he would die for it, but feel so disturbed that its aura would only poison his soul.

And Kaeya has been such an issue for Diluc that he even gave up on staying in this gorgeous building. The most beautiful place in all of Teyvat, the marvelous heaven they collectively called the Dawn Winery…

“What can I help you with, Sir Kaeya?”

“Oh, hello Adelinde. So, I’m not going to beat around the bush, I want to ask you something,” he felt cold sweat forming everywhere on his body, and his voice got lower. “Of course, you have no reason to worry about my personal problems, but I need your help.”

“Is it something that I can really help, Master Kaeya?”

She sounded cold. No, no it couldn’t be… She didn’t believe the rumors, right? Adelinde would never think of something like that about him, right? She would never, right? Right?

“I don’t want to go to Mondstadt. Can I stay here for a while?” his voice sounded so shaky he wondered if he started to cry again.

When Adelinde opened her mouth to reject him, Kaeya wanted to talk more. He knew he couldn’t change her mind, yet instead of hearing the answer he wanted to fill the void with his inner thunders. “I promise that I won’t make anything difficult. I won’t ask for any service, I won’t cause any trouble, I will listen to everything you say, and I can even help you around. I can deal with the slimes and hilichurls, and I won’t demand anything back.”

Adelinde sighed, but no sign of acceptance. She considered, but her face said no. She had let Kaeya in once, a long time ago when Diluc was in Snezhnaya, but things were different now.

“Come on Miss Adelinde, I know there is no one else who can understand me but you. I want to just take some time off and rest. I don’t want to go back to the city, but I’m not feeling well enough to stay outside too. Please, can’t you at least reconsider?”

“Look, Master Kaeya, if you know me just a little, then you could tell I would love to take you in. I wouldn’t even wait for a second, I honestly wouldn’t. But one year ago, you were banned from entering here and Master Diluc never changed his mind. I don’t want to betray his decision, so I can’t grant your wish.”

Kaeya’s face fell, a hollow, heartbroken expression replacing his usual charm. Adelinde couldn’t help but recall how he’d look when she told him he couldn’t have more cookies as a child. That same pleading, desperate look.

“I’m sorry, Master Kaeya. If there is anything else I can help you with, feel free to ask. If not, please go back to Mondstadt.”

He knew he couldn’t go any further, so he just wished everyone in the winery a good night and left. Just like Adelinde advised him to, he was on his way back to Mondstadt even though he didn’t want to. He tried brushing off the uneasiness, claiming that he just didn’t want to step into the city at the moment. His mind was playing a trick, it had to be the case.

But something in his mind kept telling him to return and knock on the door again, beg for her to let him stay there only for the night. To swear over his pride that he shall leave once the sun rises. To do something to let her go inside, anything, even going as far as forcing his way in.

No, such a terrorizing instinct was nothing ordinary. It wasn’t because he didn’t feel like going back to the city. It was because something felt wrong. He could swear he felt eyes on him. He could swear something was wrong. His senses were on alert, yet he couldn’t notice a thing.

And he knew he had no right and reason to go back to ask for Adelinde’s mercy. That poor woman had already suffered enough from Diluc’s anger and Kaeya’s pain under the disguise of his smiles.

But when he wanted to turn back and look at Dawn Winery one more time, he couldn’t see it.

Chapter Text

It took him seven years to finally face the feelings he wanted to ignore for the rest of his life.

If his sense of time didn’t lie, it has been three months since he left Mondstadt to give himself some time to think. A breather of some sort to let his mind travel across everything he ever thought and did, to judge if they were right or not. Once distanced from everyone and everything, Diluc found it easier to recall his memories and judge his actions. In the end, he figured out that his wrongdoings were heavier than the things he felt grateful for doing.

His regrets often had the names Kaeya and Crepus in them. He lamented for the days that could have been much better, his aching heart using remorse of all weapons to torment him.

When Diluc was alone, he could weep as much as he wanted. Without the fear of being seen by someone, having people question him, or getting comforted even though he neither wanted any nor saw the right in himself. He just wanted to let his feelings go out without anyone interfering. He punched trees when fury took over his muscles, he laughed nonstop when memories touched every corner of his brain, and dissociated for hours when the silence of death hit.

But even in that solitude claimed to be so peaceful and fulfilling, a side of him searched for the familiar face of his brother. Having him there, looking at the same view before them, and speaking about the past felt abnormally comforting.

While he thought he wanted to escape everyone, he yearned for the past he could never reach. Sitting with his anger long enough, he heard that it was sorrow all along. His shadow told him the truth, the things he had been avoiding all along under the disguise of pride.

He noticed that there was only one thing his abundant wealth could never buy, his family.

He once told Kaeya that even though death would separate them one day, it wouldn’t take too long for them to meet up again. This was the little promise he did when Kaeya was afraid of death and couldn’t accept this awful truth.

Diluc found himself smiling with pain buried in his chest. He, once again watching the stars twinkle before him, had so many things to consider changing. His life was nowhere near where he wanted it to be, there was so much he could do and many other things he had to undo.

At the end of the three months, when he decided to go back to Mondstadt, he also decided to apologize to Kaeya for everything and ask if they could start all over. Promising he wouldn’t make the same mistakes he did before, Diluc was ready to do everything for his little brother. He always had it in him, it appeared, he just needed to brace himself and admit it.

After seven years filled with agony, wrath, and pain, he was able to feel hopeful for the future. A life where Kaeya was not a bystander but a man he could rely on. A life they were going to spend together, maybe not as close as before, but at least calmer and friendlier.

The memories kept Diluc’s enthusiasm burning like his Vision, unending and filled with emotions. The childish excitement he had reminded him of the days he would wait for Windblume Festivals with Kaeya, counting days, and constantly asking their father how early they would attend the celebrations. They would chase one another, running from street to street, watching the city grow lively as the hours passed…

•·················•·················•

When Diluc arrived in Mondstadt, the sheer number of people there to greet him was overwhelming. Though he wasn’t fond of the attention, he felt he had no right to speak against it. Still, his eyes kept scanning the crowd, searching for Kaeya in secret.

He couldn’t help but wonder what Kaeya might say about his return. Would he tease him? Act as though he hadn’t noticed he was gone? Or, just maybe, would he show a flicker of gratitude that this time Diluc came back earlier than before? It didn’t matter much—Diluc was too busy hoping that his apology might have at least some small chance.

He was surprised to see Jean outside her office, giving orders to the lower-ranked knights. She always seemed so composed, but here, amidst the bustle, she was still effortlessly commanding. Meeting her, seeing that radiant smile forming on her face, eased the tension that had been tightening in his chest. They shared a moment—hugging, exchanging how much they had missed one another—and then, as if on cue, the topic shifted to Kaeya. It was only after Jean pointed out that his heart was racing and his breath was uneven that Diluc realized how much anxiety still gripped him.

Diluc explained everything shortly, why he was away from the city and why he didn’t want to talk to anyone, it all made sense once the redhead explained himself. “And as I thought about my life, I decided that keeping this unrequited distance with Kaeya has been damaging to the both of us. I’m going to explain myself and my way of thinking, and hopefully, he might consider giving me a chance. Because I really messed up our relationship.”

Despite the unusual silence Jean had, she managed to look as understanding as possible. Listening to him talking this excitedly and less formally proved that Diluc was ready to challenge the permanent shadows of his losses, to finally give life another chance. His voice, how much he moved when he talked, and how he smiled without realizing whenever he mentioned Kaeya reminded the liveliness Diluc once had. Jean missed seeing him this eager.

“Maybe it will be awkward for the both of us after seven years, but I’m sure we will figure something out. I’m going to be extra patient with Kaeya, too, and to be honest, I kind of missed him making fun of me, it requires cleverness and attention to do what he can do,” Diluc started to giggle at whatever was in his mind. “Besides, I really am looking like a mess right now. I swear I will laugh with him too if he bursts into laughter to see me like this, I mean, look at my hair, it’s messier than my past with the Fatui.”

Jean giggled, however, her voice finally leaving after her long silence was rather lamenting. Diluc could sense this saddened voice whenever he heard it. That small shakiness of the turmoil within would barely show itself, but once provoked, this shakiness could turn into waves of tears. Kaeya used to hide how much upset he would get over the smallest thing, but he could never cover that shy oscillation. It was often his big brother Diluc’s job to get him to talk and learn his actual feelings.

As soon as Diluc figured that unusual change in her voice, he asked his rightful question. “Jean? Is everything alright?”

“I’m just emotional, that’s all.”

“But this isn’t what one would call a positive kind of emotion, I can feel it. You are upset about something, is there anything I can help with?” Diluc and his attentive urge to suddenly take care of everything, the same old Ragnvindr… Jean would laugh at that but as soon as tears appeared in her eyes, she noticed that her feelings were getting out of control.

“Actually, the apology idea is the best thing I have heard from you. Please never turn back from your decision.”

“But Jean, why are you crying?” Diluc asked, not sure what he was supposed to do.

“Nothing, it’s just...” Jean couldn’t find anything fit to say, breaking eye contact as soon as possible as her next action. “I guess... I guess I should go see Barbara, she can help me.”

“Are you in pain?”

“I can say that,” Jean sighed. “Please, let yourself in, Kaeya is in his office.”

“Okay?” Diluc looked at her for a while and watched her go, wondering what happened and what caused her to get so emotional over his speech. Was it really that impossible in Jean’s eyes to finally see the brothers together?

As Jean hurried off, her figure quickly disappearing from view, Diluc couldn’t help but wonder what had caused her to become so emotional. Was it impossible for Jean to imagine him and Kaeya reconciling? Was that why she needed to see Barbara, despite having no visible injury? There was something she was hiding, something that weighed heavily on her heart. And it left a bad feeling in Diluc's gut.

He didn’t like the reaction he got at all.

The familiar sight of the Knights’ Headquarters stirred a mixture of emotions within him as he stepped inside. Memories, both cherished and painful, came flooding back. He liked reminiscing about the dreams he once had, but he hated how they’d all been destroyed by the reckless actions of a man who made false promises. He was grateful to Varka for handling things in his absence, for cleaning up the corruption within the ranks and replacing untrustworthy knights with those who could be relied upon.

Kaeya and Jean were the two people he could trust with his eyes closed.

Standing before Kaeya’s office, which had once been his own, Diluc took a moment to collect himself. He wondered how much had changed, how many things the cavalry captain had added to the room that was once his domain. After knocking, he straightened his posture, trying to think of something humorous to say. If he could start with a lighthearted tone, it might ease the tension and improve his chances of a successful conversation. After all, if Kaeya could be humorous all the time, surely Diluc could summon a bit of wit too.

He opened the door wide. “Guess who’s back?”

Kaeya raised his head to look at the red-haired figure on his doorstep. “Diluc?”

At first, Kaeya’s face lit up with excitement. It was as though he might stand up and embrace him, but the expression faded just as quickly as a candle snuffed out. His smile disappeared, replaced by a heaviness in his gaze. It was as if he’d remembered something painful—something that had nothing to do with his current condition.

And the thing he remembered wasn’t even his condition. He remembered the rumors, he could feel them coming back and extinguishing that sparkle of happiness so mercilessly.

“Kaeya?” Diluc’s happiness lasted short. “What happened to you?”

Kaeya couldn’t say anything, keeping his silence as he slowly looked at his left shoulder.

Where his arm once was, now nothing but the empty clothing sagging. “Kaeya..?”

Then, he looked at his wheelchair, waiting right next to him to be used. He still hated the idea of having to use one, already losing the rest of his solemn look. “...what happened to you?”

Diluc closed the door behind him, his body trembling as he hurried forward. He could barely believe what he was seeing. Kaeya had already witnessed this reaction countless times and had already seen the pained expressions of Amber, Klee, and so many others. But this—this was his older brother. The one person whose shock cut deeper than anyone else’s.

He had no power to comfort Diluc, and he even felt guilty for that. He remained silent and let Diluc examine him more, watching the man before him not being able to speak because of the shock he was in.

Diluc’s shaky hands were cold despite the Vision’s natural heat, Kaeya could sense that chill when Diluc touched his short hair. One of the things the cavalry captain was upset about was his hair. He liked to keep it long especially since Diluc’s hair is long also.

"Who did this to you?" Diluc asked, his voice trembling with equal parts sorrow and fury. The sheer hatred in his tone made Kaeya flinch. He knew what that tone meant—violence was brewing inside Diluc.

Forget starting a new life away from violence and retribution, Diluc was going to dedicate the rest of his life to finding who or what did this to him.

“Calm down, Master Diluc,” Kaeya spoke, sounding tired both physically and emotionally. “Look, there is something I have been meaning to tell you.”

Diluc, still busy trying to keep himself under control, nodded. Looking at the exhausted eye with all the attention he could have at the moment, he was listening to him carefully.

“Il Dottore is dead,” Kaeya tried to smile but everything hurt. He spoke slowly but surely. “He was the guy responsible for our—… Your father’s death. I killed him.”

But that mattered nothing, none of those would take back what happened to Kaeya. And Diluc had nothing left inside him to celebrate this.

“You don’t have to take revenge anymore, I killed him for you.”

“Kaeya... Don’t tell me all of these happened because you were trying to—”

“No, no, actually, I had to get rid of him to escape. But I really thought of you when I was—” Kaeya coughed, his sick body shaking heavily with each breath leaving his body. “—stabbing that idiot in the heart..! I made sure it hurt a lot.”

Now there were more questions in his head, and everything got worse. Diluc couldn’t even stand still, itching to do something, anything. Things went out of control, and it only took three months. Nothing was this terrible when he left, and if he was in Mondstadt instead, maybe he could—

Wait, how long has it been since all of those happened? Why did some of Kaeya’s wounds still look fresh and pinkish? He could smell the medicine when he entered there for the first time, shocked at the view he witnessed. Diluc gulped, and tears started to leave his eyes more.

“How long?” Diluc stuttered, once again caressing Kaeya’s hair. “How long did they keep you? How did all of these happen?”

He knew it would take an army to get Kaeya captured, he knew what Kaeya was actually capable of. What went so wrong? Was it something Diluc could stop if he could just be a little more patient and stay in Mondstadt for a while? Was it the Knights’ fault that they couldn't find him before everything concluded in such a tragedy?

“Don’t worry, I told them nothing. Mondstadt is safe, Master Diluc,” Kaeya ensured, but even him thinking of Mondstadt instead of his miserable situation made many question marks appear on Diluc’s head.

“I don’t care about information!” Diluc found himself yelling once again, accidentally scaring the wounded one. He took a deep breath as he tried to adjust a lower voice. “Just... I have no idea what to say, I have to ask so many things but...”

“Master Diluc I told you, Mondstadt is safe. You don’t have to worry.”

“I’m worried about you! Who cares about some intel those bastards got?!” and he once again lost control. He bit his lip, reminding himself to calm down again because Kaeya almost looked like he was about to cry. “Look, I know you would never do anything that will harm Mondstadt, I don’t even have to worry about that. I care about you, what happened to you?”

But he already knew what happened, this was nothing but torture. Kaeya survived torture. Diluc had no idea how long it had been, but he knew Kaeya still suffered from it with the obvious fresh scars and newly changed bandages. And he would most likely suffer for the rest of his life. And thinking about the unpleasant future just added fuel to the fire burning inside his hands and Vision.

The future, once the brand new page of this new life. Crepus would often say that no one could predict the future to the smallest detail, yet Diluc could already think of the depressive episodes and painful years waiting for Kaeya.

Someone as free-spirited and mobile as Kaeya wouldn’t even call that living, spending his months wondering why he has to spend the rest of his life trapped in that mangled vessel.

But how surprised Kaeya looked was almost an insult to Diluc and what he forced Kaeya to go through.

“Really?” The blue-haired tilted his head. “You aren’t mad that I might have messed things up?”

The wrath building inside his mind turned into confusion. The endless promises of vengeance fell into still water and drowned. “Kaeya, is there anything about you not to be worried about? Who cares even if you spoke? You’ve got tortured!”

“But I thought—” another cough. “I thought you were mad at me. Didn’t you leave because you were tired of me?”

“What?” Diluc’s mind froze. “What?!”

Kaeya’s expression and how much he expected to get lectured by him proved that he really believed that. Not that Diluc would be worried about Kaeya, not that Diluc would go out to hunt every single human being who caused this, but that he would be mad at Kaeya for something he had no control over.

And when did he come up with the idea that he left because he was tired of him? Did this even have any logical explanation? When his body struggled to survive, was his irreverent doubt taunting his mind?

When Kaeya started to sob, Diluc stopped thinking and looked at him with disbelief.

“I’m sorry.” Kaeya’s whisper was so weak and pathetic that Diluc wanted to burn the world. Disgust filled his entire being, shivering his bones as he tried to register what was happening. A shattered mind and a ruined body before him, suffering only to lead to a life with more problems.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Diluc ensured, he had no idea what to do, but he knew Kaeya needed comfort. And he was afraid that no one there managed to comfort him enough. It could be Kaeya desperately trying to look unaffected or them ending up as helpless and Diluc himself.

But in that agonized pain, between all those bandages and scars, Kaeya’s expression looked just as horrified and degraded.

“It’s alright, it’s completely fine. You don’t have to feel sorry for anything.”

“Will you leave if I make too much noise?” Kaeya whispered. It had nothing to do with physical pain anymore, nor the tortures he had to bear.

This was something that revolved around Diluc, him, and the ruined relationship they shared only.

“I won’t,” and why did Kaeya ever get worried about something like this? Kaeya knew him better, did he not? This uncharacteristic fear made no sense, but then again, Kaeya was in no state to act normal either. “I’m here. I’m going to be here as much as you want me to. Okay?”

What he saw wasn’t the cavalry captain who wouldn’t let anything make him look miserable. Whatever happened after Diluc left and the tortures broke the persona he made for himself, leaving only a whimpering man asking for comfort. This side of him had nothing to do with Kaeya Alberich and both of them knew this well.

This was Kaeya Ragnvindr, the one who could feel safe enough to express his emotions and not try to hide the fact that he was sensitive. The one who would cry on his brother’s shoulder and tell him what was bothering him so much. Only open to those he truly trusted, and a mystery to everyone else.

Diluc lowered his body and hugged Kaeya carefully, making sure he didn’t hurt him. “I’m here.”

“Don’t leave,” The wounds ached because of his sobs. He grabbed Diluc’s coat as hard as he could, but his fingers were too weak. Yet, he didn’t want to let go. “Don’t leave me. I’m scared. Please don’t leave.”

“I won’t leave, I promise.”

And Diluc’s plans for starting a new life with Kaeya were crashed like that, now two men sobbing to each others’ shoulders with countless thoughts in their minds.

But still, Diluc wanted to be hopeful. Not for himself but for Kaeya, seeing how much he wanted Diluc around. He could at least ease the stress to the best of his abilities, but not even his presence could change the truth.

His dreams were ended. His achievements didn't matter anymore. Kaeya loved his job as a knight more than anything and he could no longer serve Mondstadt in the way he wanted. He had survived, only to fall victim to a life he would never want.

And despite the truth, he was worried that Diluc would leave if he cried. He was afraid that Diluc would get mad. And he tried to please Diluc, telling him he took revenge and the Fatui got no information.

What happened so bad that he forgot himself entirely? He spoke as if he held no value as a human being, let alone a victim who deserved attention.

“Actually,” Kaeya started. Diluc looked at him once again, ready to listen to everything he had to say. “I did not expect you to come here. And you even sounded so happy... to be here.”

“I was eager to see you again, I was so excited. I had no idea I would see you like this,” Diluc explained.

“I’m sorry that I ruined your mood,” Kaeya murmured. “You managed to be happy for the first time, and this is what you got in return.”

“Kaeya, please... stop apologizing.” Diluc even thought that it should be him to beg for his forgiveness instead.

Only if he was in Mondstadt, only if he was a little more patient to have his eyes over the Fatui..! Maybe none of them would happen. Or maybe they would, but Diluc could reach Kaeya faster than anyone else could. Looking at how slender he has got, he spent a long time there.

There was no accountable reason, and yet Diluc had that sinister feeling that all of this happened because of him.

“Why did you come here anyway? And why were you so happy?” and once again the cavalry captain didn’t accept that he indeed had no reason to apologize.

“Because... you know what, I’m just going to say it. You deserve a good explanation.”

Kaeya pointed him out to get a chair for himself, as he was keeping his body low like that for an hour now. Diluc couldn’t be more grateful, because he just realized that his knees and back were hurting. Kaeya had some energy left to worry and he used it all on Diluc.

When Diluc sat down and prepared himself, he tried his best not to lose his composure.

“Look, Kaeya. I have been thinking about so many things for a long time, and I realized that there was no way I could make a healthy decision when I was so busy with both Dawn Winery and Mondstadt’s safety. So, I decided that I should take a break from everything, and spend time on my own. To both think of a better way of living and question my life altogether. This decision had nothing, and I say nothing, to do with you.”

Kaeya still didn’t look like he believed, and this hurt more. So Diluc added. “Actually, I missed you a lot when I was away. The way you would find something laughable in everything, your enthusiasm, your keen observation, and all that… I liked it as long as it was you talking with me, really. I just never had the bravery to show this to you, and I’m sorry for making you think it was your fault.”

“When I realized how much I missed you and wished you were with me, I noticed that I spent those seven years thinking like this unconsciously. Constantly hoping to have you by my side, see you around, and make sure you are okay. When I noticed this obvious truth, I knew I had to face this. Only to realize that I have been lying to the both of us for seven years.”

The wounded was still waiting for something bad, looking at Diluc’s eyes. Hoping that he was wrong, that Diluc had something good to say. Because nothing felt true after what everyone else said about Diluc’s possible reasoning for leaving. They sounded more accurate, more like the version of Diluc he imagined whenever he heard the name he considered so dear.

“I accepted that I didn’t despise you. I had no actual reason to be mad at you or this distant. I have been lying whenever I said that I didn’t like you or I wanted you away from me. I’m sorry it took so long for me to get to accept this. I couldn’t collect my thoughts, I was... I was a mess, and I still am. But I wanted to fix this. I could live with everything, all regrets and rivalries were bearable, but not this, not the childish grudge I tried holding against you. So I came here to...”

Diluc gulped, trying to hold back his tears. He held Kaeya’s only hand, caressing it tenderly as it was the most sensitive thing. Kaeya instantly held Diluc’s hand back, longing for the familiar warmth but the older one’s fingers were just as cold.

“I came here to apologize, for everything. I apologize for not listening to your confession even though it took so much power for you to talk about such a thing. I apologize for disrespecting your origin and daring to go as far as claiming you faked everything. I apologize for hurting you for something out of your control. I apologize for injuring you that badly and even thinking of... I can’t even say it out loud. I apologize for leaving you alone, without anywhere to go, and to cope with the pain of losing our father on your own.”

Cries started once again, silently.

“I apologize for taking the surname you owned so proudly. I apologize for taking away everything you had. I apologize for selling our father’s mansion without asking your opinion, it took me so long to realize that you were upset about that.”

Diluc moved one of his hands, and Kaeya instinctively tried to move his other hand to grab his hand. But Kaeya had no other hand, his arm was gone. Its absence, the phantom feeling, sent shivers down his spine.

“I apologize for leaving you with tons of nonsense to deal with. I apologize for leaving you all by yourself when you had no clue about how life could be without your family. I apologize for coming back years later and acting as if nothing happened. I apologize for being that rude and blind. And I apologize for the countless things I did with or without realizing it. I accept everything I have done and I have no excuse to make for my selfish and immature behaviors.”

Kaeya just gazed at Diluc, already looking in peace. Kaeya didn’t look like a man who despised him at all, he didn’t have an ounce of anger in his pallid gaze. Those apologies meant nothing as they have always been forgiven a long time ago.

“I want you to know that I understand the heaviness of my terrible act, that I see everything clearly and I’m ready to grant anything you want. I want you to be sure that I learned my lesson and that I will never make the same mistake again. I won’t lose you. I won’t make you stay away from me.”

“I came because I wanted to fix everything. I still want to, and all I need is your permission. To at least prove that you will never see that immature side of me ever again.”

“And I know this sounds insane, it is unfair that I act like I can decide what can happen and what cannot. So, I leave the choice to you. If you want me to leave, tell it with ease in your heart as that is what I truly deserve. But I refuge to your mercy regardless. Maybe one day, I will earn your respect once again and live the day you will call me brother once more.”

“Are you insane..? Why would you ask permission for such a great thing..?” his broken voice could barely murmur. “You… But… This isn’t fair…”

“I know it is not.” And what was Diluc thinking? That all of a sudden, Kaeya would forget all the emotional abuse and neglect only to welcome him? But the following left him in more confusion. What was “unfair” didn’t sound like Diluc’s strong claims at all, it was a hateful scream against fate itself.

“This was my biggest wish!” Kaeya cried out loud, and Diluc thought the continuing would be something more hopeful and accepting. Kaeya sounded like he would accept his apology and consider his offer. But still… something was wrong.

“Then… What are these tears for?” the redhead questioned, as he could sense that fearful tingling in his voice, that same thing he sensed in Jean’s voice when she was on the verge of crying.

“Why did you have to be so late?” Kaeya cried. Then he added.

“I’m going to die, Diluc. I have one week left.”

Chapter Text

There was a lot to process, a lot to try to understand, and so little time that it felt nothing but humiliating. Unlike Kaeya, who’s already looking like he has accepted his fate, Diluc stared at him as if he had forgotten his own language.

He wanted to say this can’t be real, that it’s just Kaeya worrying too much. He wanted to believe there was a solution. Pointless hopes and words formed in his blank mind, yet the captain’s expression never seemed hopeful.

This was more than a conclusion he reached on his own.

The helpless older brother had no idea what to do at that point, feeling his life and will to live taken away from him. It wasn’t fair, both of them were so young and a future full of opportunities was waiting for them just a while ago…

Looking at Kaeya and his condition, he didn’t have to wonder how worse the younger one was. He needed not to empathize as his pained expression alone spoke volumes no novel could depict. No orchestra on that planet could reach the volumes his inner screams consisted of. No artist could draw agony as clearly as Kaeya’s wrinkles did.

Diluc thought to himself. If this was really the truth and there was no solution, the best thing to do would be to spend that one last week together. To make Kaeya’s last moments worth remembering, even though he had no idea how he could manage to do that.

•·················•·················•

𝘋𝘈𝘠 𝘖𝘕𝘌

When Diluc came to the Headquarters to revisit him, Kaeya was taken by surprise. Yet, his initial shock quickly gave way to nothing but gratitude and happiness at seeing his brother once more.

Despite all the pain plaguing his body and the burden clearly weighing on his mind, a smile crept onto Kaeya’s face. "Welcome, Diluc," he said, the name rolling off his tongue with such affection that Diluc felt a sharp ache in his chest. "It’s good to see you again."

It wasn’t fair… Diluc has been so cruel to him but despite everything, Kaeya greeted him with the same respect and adoration he had many years ago.

“Hello, brother,” he tried to smile back, but that forced smile on his face seemed so awkward that Kaeya couldn’t hold back his chuckle. Diluc didn’t give up and eventually, his expression formed a smaller but more natural grin. “I finished all of my job yesterday so that we could have today to ourselves only.”

"Seriously?" Kaeya asked, dropping the pen he had been struggling to hold. The paperwork in front of him was meager, insignificant even, and anyone could tell that Jean had been going easy on him—thankfully.

Still, Diluc couldn’t fathom why Kaeya was working in the first place, especially when he was expected to lose his life so soon.

Having spent the previous night at home, crying his soul out until no more tears would come, it was easier for Diluc to speak now. His heart still hurt—always did—and the pain was so unbearable at times that he wondered if he was suffering from heart attacks. But by now, he and his almost numb left arm had grown accustomed to the shockwaves that rippled from deep inside him.

Diluc stepped closer, placing a hand on Kaeya’s shoulder—the only one that wasn’t broken or bandaged. He gave it a gentle squeeze and nodded. "Hardworking as ever."

That earned him another smile from the younger man. "Never thought I’d hear that from you."

"You’re about to hear a lot of things you wouldn’t expect from me," Diluc sighed, hoping he hadn’t made it too obvious how exhausted he was. The last thing he wanted was for Kaeya to feel guilty or concerned about him.

They both laughed softly, but Kaeya quickly returned to the subject at hand. "Actually, Jean told me to stop working."

"Good. So, why are you here?"

"I don’t know," Kaeya murmured, his voice low. "Maybe I just don’t want to die feeling useless."

There was no reason for him to hide his thoughts or intentions, not now. Not when he was going to leave this world soon. Especially not from his brother—the one person who was here now, watching him with such tenderness and protectiveness. Kaeya could feel Diluc’s eyes on him.

He loved the way how tender Diluc gazed at him, reminding him of Crepus a lot. Kaeya used to be at peace with the fact that he wasn’t going to live much longer, but the notion grew more merciless each time Diluc reacted positively.

Fear of death, the only thing gods and mortals had in common.

“You have never been useless,” Diluc said, so sure of himself. “And the great cavalry captain deserves a well-earned vacation, don’t you think?”

“The great cavalry captain?” he had a tone of playfulness in his voice, but his unasked question hidden under his toning had a doubt sensible. Diluc nodded.

“You truly are an inspiration.”

Normally, Kaeya would have made a joke in response, but the sincerity in Diluc’s voice caught him off guard. Instead, he simply smiled, lowering his head slightly in quiet gratitude. His swagger disappeared as if it had never existed in the first place.

"So," Kaeya asked, eager to fill the growing silence, "what are we going to do today?"

Diluc hummed thoughtfully, pleased to hear the question. "Is there anything you’ve been wanting to do?"

“Let me think…” Kaeya huffed and puffed, yet he couldn’t find something. Actually, looking at his condition, he couldn’t do anything he would think of anyway. It would take time for him to get used to his new condition and continue living, and one week wasn’t long enough. “Do you have anything you feel like doing with me?”

“How about...” Diluc started to gaze around and his eyes got locked on the map on the wall. It was adorned with red circles, indicating the countless things Kaeya was planning to do before his life got ruined. Diluc looked elsewhere. Since the two or three days were expected to be Kaeya’s best days as his body was withering away slowly, they had to do anything requiring energy as soon as possible.

"Is there anything I should know about your condition?" Diluc asked cautiously, hoping his question didn’t come across as insensitive but already fearing it had.

"As you can see, I’m not fully recovered yet," Kaeya replied, choosing his words carefully. "They’ve got me on a lot of medication to numb the pain, so I feel dizzy most of the time. And I get sleepy, too."

It wasn’t just Kaeya’s ravaged mental health that made him so open now; the medication muddled his mind and loosened his tongue, making him more candid than usual. At least Diluc found it easier to understand him this way. Kaeya’s actions alone often left too much unsaid.

"So we’ll do something that doesn’t wear you out."

"No, it’s just that I can be quite the pain in the neck," Kaeya chuckled weakly. "If I end up falling asleep, don’t think I’m bored. I’m just tired. No hard feelings, okay?"

"That’s fine," Diluc said, exhaling softly. "And you’re not going to be any trouble at all. As long as we’re together, we’ll have fun."

"...you sure?" Kaeya’s delayed response sent a small wave of alarm through Diluc. Why had it taken him so long to say anything? Was this another side effect of the medication?

"Yes," Diluc said, eyeing Kaeya’s frail form. "Why did you hesitate?"

"You’re not just being this accepting because you feel sorry for me, right?" Kaeya asked suddenly, his words spilling out before he could stop them.

“Of course not, I already told you the decision I made when I was away,” Diluc confirmed, where did the sudden suspicion come from? “As long as we are together, I wouldn’t mind just sitting somewhere and doing nothing. I only want to help you do whatever you feel like doing.”

Kaeya fell silent again. He opened his mouth to speak a few times but quickly clamped it shut. His hesitation concerned Diluc—it seemed like more than just the medication’s effects.

"Is something bothering you?" Diluc’s voice softened. "You know you can talk to me."

"It’s nothing, really," Kaeya tried to smile, even attempted a small laugh, but he couldn’t hide from his brother.

"Is it something about me?" Diluc’s mind raced, trying to pinpoint what could be making Kaeya uneasy. "I can understand if you’re uncomfortable with... how fast everything is. I know it’s difficult to adjust."

"No, that’s not—"

"Look, I came out of nowhere to apologize. After everything I did and caused, I even wondered if I had any right to ask for another chance." Diluc's words spilled out faster than he intended, but he couldn’t stop. The more he spoke, the more he needed to explain himself. "I’m sorry I was so hasty and dragged you into it."

"Really, I—" Kaeya’s frustration flared, his eye rolling in exasperation.

"Kaeya, stop making excuses to make me feel better," Diluc warned, seeing right through him. "If I’m making you uncomfortable or if things are too fast to handle, just say it."

"I would appreciate it if you didn’t interrupt me when I’m trying to speak," Kaeya sighed, deflating. "Never mind."

"Oh..." Diluc felt the words building again, but he stopped himself, knowing he had already ruined his chance. He had finally gotten Kaeya to talk, and he messed it up.

Instead of getting angry or blaming Kaeya for being complicated, he simply nodded. "I understand. I’m sorry."

They stood in silence for what felt like an eternity until Kaeya spoke again. "Can we go somewhere away from the city?"

"You don’t have to be ashamed of your condition."

"Yeah..." Kaeya spoke slowly, but Diluc’s reassurance seemed to ease his spirit, if only slightly. "I’m just looking for... solitude."

“You are looking for solitude with me on your side?” Diluc pointed himself, and they both chuckled at that reaction. Kaeya nodded, already looking in a much better mood.

“What’s wrong? You will end up talking too much again?” A heartwarming scene it was, with Kaeya teasing Diluc to his heart’s content and getting to harsh reply in return. If only they could forget how soon this was going to become a memory with a dead knight, they could enjoy it to the fullest. He was alive, still breathing and talking and yet, both Kaeya and Diluc acted as if he was long gone.

“Again? You said it like I do this all the time,” Diluc huffed. Kaeya’s grin showed he had a valid explanation for that.

“When we were children, you would talk a lot too. Actually, the reason why I got to learn Mondstadtian so fast was that you spoke all the time. You would even speak when you were sleeping,” Kaeya started laughing, and Diluc sulked as the best reaction he could give.

“To honor that memory of yours,” Diluc started, trying to sound serious despite the fact that his emotions were kicking hard again. He did remember being such a talkative child, often talking on Kaeya’s behalf, too, when he was too overwhelmed or out of words. “We can…”

That little baby Kaeya of his was there, ruined and mangled.

“We can go cloud gazing and collect flowers. Away from the city, won’t cause too much trouble, and I’m sure you will like it as well.”

“You know what? That’s a great idea, let’s do exactly that.”

Even though Diluc was almost going to mess up their first day, they could find a way to get along. It felt awkward, as expected, but it could have been worse.

Next time, Diluc made sure that he would be more careful.

Chapter Text

For the first time in forever, it was Diluc who wanted to talk. To say something, share anything. He couldn’t remember the last time he had such a hard time staying quiet, especially around Kaeya. The silence felt unbearable, an insult to the limited time they shared.

They were like as if they just switched personalities, just like how they used to be when they were younger. Kaeya, the quiet and calm one, would want nothing but simply to watch the view and cherish all the beauty surrounding him. And Diluc, the energized and ecstatic one who always caused the two of them to end up in trouble, coming up with new ideas crazier than the former.

Once again, they were the same. And Diluc had no idea what to feel about this.

Since Kaeya wanted to spend his last days cherishing the beauties of Mondstadt for the last time, he asked if they could wander in the meadows. They went there, talked about good memories, and recalled everything they used to do together. They even collected some flowers for Adelinde. She had been a loving mother figure for the brothers since the very first day. They respected her so much that sometimes, Diluc would go against Crepus’s rules out of spite but he would never even consider such an action when it was Adelinde.

When they arrived at Dawn Winery —Diluc used the time as an excuse to invite Kaeya to the winery— they met with Adelinde’s emotional and shocked gaze. They gifted their bouquets to Adelinde, and Kaeya even bragged about how many flowers his bouquet had, all thanks to Diluc’s help. Because Kaeya on his own couldn’t collect that much.

At first, Diluc just thought seeing them like this made her emotional, so he didn’t question her any further. Neither Diluc nor Kaeya was hungry and they were tired after the awkward but thankfully comforting day. So they decided to sleep instead, even though (this is a secret between you, Barbatos, and him) Diluc wanted Kaeya to stay awake for a while.

Actually, it might not be just a while. Diluc might have wanted him to stay awake forever, spend his last days only with him and him alone. And his little brother seemed like he wanted to do the same, but his weak body refused.

Still, despite being tired, seeing his old room and how much they took care of it even after Kaeya left warmed his heart. His belongings from the mansions were there too, carefully placed like how Kaeya would want. The nostalgic feeling caressed his exhausted soul, helping him smile once again.

Catching this cute smile on Kaeya, Diluc couldn’t help but chuckle. “You look quite happy.”

“I thought you burnt them all,” the younger one said, looking around with excitement. “It’s so nice of you to keep them all here.”

“I would never,” Diluc ensured, putting his hand on Kaeya’s only shoulder. “I already regret everything I did, I’m just glad I could calm down before I messed up even more.”

After that, they couldn’t find anything to add. Diluc didn’t want Kaeya to think about bad memories, as he already looked fragile enough. “I will get you pajamas, just wait for a minute.”

Diluc heaved Kaeya and carefully placed him on the soft sheets. Kaeya nodded and thanked him as Diluc left the room. The older one felt an ache in his heart for leaving him alone there. The idea of being separated from him, especially after hearing everything and seeing his condition, was the most terrible thing he could think of.

Remembering that they would be separated forever one week later, Diluc’s eyes filled with tears. He tried to remind himself that this wasn’t about him and that he had to do everything easy for Kaeya, but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted to hug Kaeya and cry on his shoulder, begging him to say it was all fake and they just made it up to give Diluc a lesson.

He would pray to the gods and dedicate his life to his religion. He would sell everything just so Kaeya could get enough treatment to live like how he used to back then, free as the wind. He wouldn’t even spend time taking revenge, only cherish every memory he could have with his dear brother. His mind and presence would belong to Lord Barbatos if the divine creature were to look down upon his mortal children and pull Kaeya from the curse of his internal illness.

But this was nothing but a fantasy. A daydream. Diluc used to see daydreams as useless and would never get why people spent their time on them. But there he was, looking at the tons of clothing he had with no feeling apparent on his face. He didn’t have any idea what to feel at that point. He just wished everything could be different.

He especially got himself pink pajamas so Kaeya could laugh at him, make fun of him, and tell him how funny he looked. Then he chose his favorite pajama for Kaeya. He wiped his tears and went back to Kaeya’s room, earning that laugh he wanted to hear so much.

Until his scars started to hurt, Kaeya laughed at how ridiculous Diluc looked. “You just look like strawberry yogurt at this point!”

Diluc joyfully rolled his eyes, acting as if he didn’t do it intentionally. He started helping Kaeya get changed, not listening to the younger one constantly apologizing for causing so much trouble. Diluc always said it was no problem but his words of comfort never managed to help enough. Seeing Kaeya’s body covered with bandages, he couldn’t help but sigh. The younger one told him not to bother but Diluc changed the bloody bandages as well.

When they were done, Kaeya still looked troubled and Diluc noticed there was something Kaeya wanted to ask. He always looked that shy and smiled awkwardly when he was about to ask for something important for him, Diluc felt proud that he could still remember that much about his brother. “Do you need anything else?”

“No,” he said, accidentally making it obvious that he wanted something very much. Kaeya also realized how fake he sounded, turning his head somewhere else.

“It’s okay, just say it,” Diluc shrugged. “Otherwise, I won’t leave.”

“That’s... exactly what I want...”

“Oh,” was all Diluc could say. He didn’t expect that of all the things Kaeya could ask for. Still, hearing that Kaeya wanted him to be there made him happy, and he smiled. “Okay. I will stay here. How long do you want me to be here?”

“If you wouldn’t mind, can you stay here until I fall asleep?” Kaeya asked, hardly believing what he was asking for. But he needed it and he wasn’t even sure if he could fully communicate his need with words alone. Even thinking of the nightmares and the feelings they gave were enough to keep him awake. At least the one he trusts most being on his side could calm him enough to start sleeping. Diluc was a strong man, though it wouldn’t sound realistic if Kaeya were to say it, he looked powerful enough to destroy cities if he ever wanted to.

They felt the exact same thing about Crepus back then, an immortal and immovable figure of authority and tenderness he was. Diluc gave just the same feeling, and they would look alike too if he started growing a beard. Kaeya wondered if he should say that or not, however, even the mention of the old man’s name could wound Diluc’s heart.

Maybe before death, Kaeya decided.

“Sure,” Diluc nodded, fondling Kaeya’s hair. The younger one gazed at him with thankfulness. His gentle appearance alone was thanking Diluc for being so kind to him. “That’s what big brothers do, after all, protecting their little brothers from nightmares and bad guys.”

“Right. Brothers.” Kaeya giggled and nodded. Already feeling comforted enough to even consider closing his eyes and calling it a day. “Oh, there is one more thing. My eye patch.”

“I’m sorry, but we don’t have any eye patches,” Diluc informed. The younger one would always sleep with a more comfortable eye patch, mostly made out of silk only.

Without adding anything, Kaeya took off his eye patch and slowly turned his head to face Diluc. His eyes were open, watching Diluc’s reaction carefully.

The eye he hid as his secret resembled the eye of a Cryo Abyss Mage. Black entirely, with only a slightly shining blue orb in the middle. Despite being so inhumane, it matched Kaeya perfectly.

Diluc had so many things to say. He spent his whole childhood and even a part of his adulthood wondering what Kaeya’s hidden eye looked like. And now there he was, trusting Diluc with his most sensitive secret. Diluc didn’t get to see that eye even on that fated night, the cut on his face was so bloody that Kaeya couldn’t open his eyelid even if he wanted to.

The memories of the gruesome past and the smell of burnt flesh cursed Diluc, whispering that it had to be him instead of Kaeya. It should have been him, not the gentle knight before him.

“What do you think?” Kaeya asked, laying down slowly so his wounds wouldn’t hurt. His absent arm reminded itself of the phantom feeling it left behind, playing with Kaeya’s mind and making him confused about which body parts he still possessed. He had his legs but they were fully numb, the right was amputated till his kneecap.

“So many things,” Diluc answered honestly and Kaeya laughed. The younger one couldn’t believe he would be able to laugh once again after everything happened to him. “But I can say that your eye looks amazing.”

“Really?” he raised his eyebrows. “You don’t think I’m a monster, right?”

“No way! It looks so good on you. Actually, you look more like some kind of deity or at least a descendant of one,” he didn’t know what to say. This was unusual, but it wasn’t bad either. He couldn’t explain it, but his eyes refused to stop looking at Kaeya’s special eye. “Why did you want to hide it this long anyway? You look gorgeous.”

Kaeya smiled, he couldn’t do anything else but show how happy he was. He wanted to make sure Diluc knew how happy he was, almost always forgetting that his happiness wouldn’t last long. It was intoxicating and blinding to be with Diluc, away from all the troubles he had to face alone.

“Not everyone would react like how you react, so let’s just keep this as our little secret, brother.”

Feeling proud that Kaeya trusted him enough to reveal this so suddenly, Diluc nodded excitedly. “I wouldn’t want to share such a view with the others anyway.”

Their night was all about Kaeya’s eye and how many times he almost revealed his eye when he was a child. And Kaeya also confessed that Crepus had already seen his eye, and his reaction was the same as Diluc’s one.

As they both got sleepy talking about memories as if they were telling stories, their voice started to get quiet. Eventually, they both ended up falling asleep together, resting on the same bed just like how they did all the time.

•·················•·················•

𝘋𝘈𝘠 𝘛𝘞𝘖

They woke up almost seven times that night, with Kaeya constantly sobbing and waking up screaming. Kaeya didn’t want to sleep but his eyes hurt since he didn’t get to sleep that much for the last three days too. Only with being Diluc, did he consent to actually try to sleep.

Diluc tried his best to calm Kaeya, and it somehow helped. The night was rough but Kaeya finally managed to sleep for hours when the sun started to rise. Diluc noted that a light source might help lessen the nightmares.

He didn’t want to sleep too, so once he decided that sleeping for three hours was enough for him, he stood up quietly and left the room. Seeing Kaeya sleeping in peace, hugging the plushie Diluc found him to calm down faster. Kaeya has always adored teddy bears. Shaken by his nightmares and dazed, Kaeya wasn't in the mental state to worry about his pride. If something worked, it worked.

Washing his face after crying in the bathroom for a while, Diluc gazed at his long hair. He loved his hair, he loved how healthy and amazing it looked. It also resembled the little connection he had with Kaeya even back then he was acting like he didn’t like the younger one.

Now Kaeya no longer had long hair, and he obviously looked devastated about it.

Diluc’s fingers slowly investigated the drawer. He grabbed the scissors and put his hand on his neck, Kaeya’s hair was just enough to cover his neck and the wounds Diluc wanted to avoid seeing.

It wouldn’t look bad on him either. And even if it did, Diluc wouldn’t care.

So he started to work on his little surprise for Kaeya, hoping he would once again laugh at him.

Chapter Text

Kaeya screamed, or at least this was what his vocal cords tried to do. Not being able to make any sounds but gasps and whines, he just shivered in pain. Feeling the shadow of the crazy doctor on his exhausted body was sickening.

“Such a marvelous subject you are,” the Harbinger complimented just like how he did all the time before injecting even more messed up drugs into his body. Watching the Khaenri’ahn body reacting to the most unexpected things in interesting ways was his new hobby. Watching him like some kind of animal at a circus, Il Dottore grinned. “You made many people promote upon catching you, know your worth, my dear.”

The knight tried to speak, telling him to leave him alone and go kill himself. If his body was hydrated enough, he would spit on his disgusting face even though he knew the consequences. The recent cut he got to his abdomen was because of him kicking someone.

With the help of his men, Dottore rendered Kaeya immobilized, unable to move or try to run as the iron cuffs held him tightly. The little room he had to spend so much time in was nowhere near enough for him to keep a safe distance from anyone. He would die within minutes if he had claustrophobia, it was that narrow.

Dottore showed a syringe filled with a weird liquid. Actually, anything that man came up with was weird. He started to laugh as he kneeled to inject the drug.

Kaeya started to struggle more, not wanting the cold metal to penetrate his body once again. He screamed and insulted everyone there, yet nothing worked.

Then Kaeya got his chance and before the needle entered, the knight landed a harsh kick on Dottore’s face. Instantly making the soldiers around Dottore panic and use full force to intentionally harm Kaeya.

His struggles didn’t stop until one of them got tired of the unending troubles Kaeya caused so far. Getting permission from Dottore, who was hiding his anger behind his smile and mask, the bulky man used extra force.

And that was when Kaeya learned what it felt like to break his leg. And he could say it was far worse than he imagined.

The knight opened his eyes and gasped for air. Seeing the homey room filled with comfort and memories, feeling the calming light of the sun over his body. Kaeya took a deep breath and smelled the fresh air of Mondstadt, the one he would never get tired of.

He wasn’t in that narrow, disgusting room anymore. He was in Dawn Winery, finally. The place he wanted to be in before everything went wrong and the Fatui got their hands on him.

But despite all of that, he never blamed Adelinde for complying with Diluc’s order. Or Diluc for banning him from coming there.

Kaeya looked around, Diluc was nowhere to be seen and he wondered when he would come back. He didn’t want to call out for him since he had already caused enough trouble that night. But his absence felt so wrong that he didn’t know how long he would be able to handle it.

The sickness’s effects were getting more noticeable, at least for Kaeya. Because despite both of his eyes being open, he couldn’t see very well. He didn’t want to get glasses and spend the very little remaining of his life with Diluc trying his best not to laugh at him, so he decided to say nothing.

As he was busy thinking, he heard some people gasping outside. They didn’t sound scared, at least. Kaeya tried listening to them, and as an instinct, he attempted to get up.

But his legs failed him and he faceplanted. Making a loud noise, he accidentally revealed that he was awake, and seeing the door open wide showed him that he wouldn’t be able to listen to what was going on.

Well, actually, he didn’t have to. Because he gasped too. “Diluc?!”

“Kaeya? Are you okay?” Diluc asked as he helped Kaeya get up, carrying his brother as if he didn’t have any weight. It was both thanks to his strong body and Kaeya being dangerously light. He placed him on his bed, checking his face and legs. “I’m sorry, I should have come here sooner!”

“I’m okay but— what happened to your hair?” Kaeya asked. “It’s short, just like mine.”

Then he got what Diluc tried to do with his hair, the answer was hidden within the sentence, making it as short as Kaeya’s, so he wouldn’t feel alone.

“Can we have some privacy?” Diluc asked kindly, signaling his servants to leave the room before they accidentally saw Kaeya’s other eye. They obeyed, not questioning the reason and just expecting an emotional speech between the two. Once the door was closed once again, Kaeya stopped hiding behind Diluc.

“Brother, you really didn’t have to…” he said, with an expression so touched that Diluc knew this was something he had to do. Kaeya, despite how exhausted he was since the last time Diluc saw him, was touching his red hair with great interest. Investigating it, calculating how long it was, and how funny some of the parts looked since Diluc wasn’t the best at cutting hair.

But still, Kaeya thought he looked amazing. So he smiled gently, got a little away from Diluc, and made humming voices. “Yes, you look good from here too. Your new cut is amazing.”

“Really? You are not going to laugh at it?” Diluc wondered, he thought (mostly because of his perfectionism) that he looked ridiculous. Or maybe seeing himself with short hair after almost a decade was too unusual for his eyes. But compared to the shock he experienced when he saw Kaeya’s short hair, it was nothing.

“You look nice,” Kaeya said genuinely. “You really helped me feel... um... good?”

“You are grateful that you don’t look like me?” he joked, making the younger one chuckle. Kaeya shook his head to refuse but Diluc insisted, and Kaeya ended up laughing so much that his scars started to ache. But he didn’t care, he missed laughing with his big brother.

“But jokes aside, I was feeling terrible since the day they cut my hair,” Kaeya finally managed to speak after his aches lessened, trying to hide the fact that he suffered even while they were having fun. Seeing Diluc laugh with him, and almost hitting his head somewhere when he did, was a blessing.

If this was the view he got to see before dying, then Kaeya was ready to accept his fate already. Now gazing at the older one, wondering if he died already and this is what heaven is.

“I guessed it right, then,” Diluc commented, caressing Kaeya’s hair. “I didn’t want you to feel lonely. Besides, we look amazing with our new cuts, right?”

Kaeya nodded, they were looking amazing. And even if they didn’t, this whole hair ordeal was going to be another memory between them.

•·················•·················•

As Diluc expected, Adelinde had been looking worse with each passing day. It was no surprise to him—seeing the child she had practically raised alongside her young master in such a state would be a traumatizing experience for her, too. Yet, despite the obvious, something felt off.

Whenever he glanced at the gentlewoman, he sensed an unspoken weight, an unease that words seemed to hang on the edge of her lips, desperate to be freed. Her face, pale and strained, and the maids hovering around her in futile attempts at comfort, were enough to show how hard it was for her to speak.

“Miss Adelinde?” Diluc finally broke the tense silence, his patience thinning from the unspoken dance they had been performing. He had pretended not to see her discomfort, and she had pretended to be fine. The last thing he wanted was another misunderstanding leading to an irreversible mistake.

Her body jolted in surprise, and she quickly forced a polite smile. But it was clear, even to her, that she could no longer hide her strange behavior. Knowing what was coming—knowing it was a question she had wished to avoid forever—Adelinde braced herself.

“I know this situation is... unbearable,” Diluc began, choosing his words carefully, speaking as softly and gently as he could manage. He wasn’t the stoic, unshakable man he once was; he had no right to demand answers from her of all people. “But you seem... troubled. Like there’s something more. Would it be too forward of me to suggest that you're almost secretive?”

Adelinde swallowed hard, her eyes darting away from his. She mumbled incoherently before finally managing to form a sentence. Her fingers fidgeted nervously. “There is something I wish to tell you, Master Diluc.”

The stillness of the winery enveloped them; the only sound was the faint rhythm of their breathing, loud in the otherwise oppressive silence. Diluc held his tongue, waiting patiently for Adelinde to gather the courage to continue.

“It’s my fault that Master Kaeya ended up like this.”

“No, it’s not,” Diluc responded immediately, his voice firm, without needing to question her meaning. Whatever had happened to Kaeya, it was the Fatui's doing, not Adelinde’s. What she was feeling must be some misplaced guilt, likely for not having done more.

Diluc understood all too well. He had felt the same ever since he had found Kaeya in his office. He too felt so helpless, filled with guilt and self-loathing for not being able to protect someone he cared about.

Adelinde's voice wavered, but as she continued, she seemed to grow more confident, as if the act of confessing was serving her inner hunger for justice. “I know I should confess my guilt to the Knights, but everyone has been trying to convince me otherwise,” she said, her tone gaining conviction, though it was clear she believed herself to be the only impostor in the room. “I want to ask your opinion, as you’re the one with the best judgment in Mondstadt, Master Ragnvindr.”

Her use of his surname gave Diluc pause. It was a title she reserved only for the gravest of moments. Hearing it now, paired with the cold sweat and dread on her face, sent a shiver down his spine. He didn’t want to hear what came next, but he knew he had to.

“Master Kaeya actually arrived here first, before he was ambushed by the Fatui. There was no one else around. He was physically fine, but he seemed... distracted, lost in his own thoughts.”

“He said he didn’t want to return to Mondstadt, and he asked if he could stay here for a while. He said he needed to rest, mentally.”

Diluc remained silent, nodding with every word she spoke, though his mind was racing.

“I refused.”

The words hit Diluc like a hammer, causing him to lose all sense of time. For a moment, he just stood there, quiet, his thoughts adrift in a void.

Too much had happened. Far too much for him to handle. At this point, the only thing he could feel—if it could even be called an emotion—was emptiness.

“Why?” His voice was dull, hollow, and the sound of it made Adelinde flinch. Tears welled up in her eyes as she fought to keep her composure.

“Because,” she sobbed, “because you banned him from entering here one year ago, and I didn’t want to betray your order.”

Diluc said nothing, his silence only deepening her panic. Her heartbeat quickened, and her body began to tremble so violently that she had to brace herself against the wall to stay upright. She struggled to force her emotions back under control.

“If I had known something like this was going to happen... If I had known he was in danger... I swear, I would have done anything to protect him!” she cried, her voice breaking. “And now I can’t stop blaming myself! If only I had been disloyal for once and listened to him... Maybe he wouldn’t... Maybe none of this would’ve happened...”

Two maids rushed into the room, having heard Adelinde's anguished sobs. One look at Diluc's expression told them everything they needed to know.

She had confessed. And no one knew what would happen next.

Would Diluc investigate further? Would he report her to the Knights? Or would she meet the same fate as every enemy of the Ragnvindr name?

Hillie and Moco gently took hold of Adelinde, helping her sit down before her legs gave out entirely. She kept repeating the same damning words: “It’s my fault.”

Moco tried to drown out her voice by speaking over her. “She’s been blaming herself since we first got the news about Master Kaeya! Please, Master Diluc, believe us. This isn’t Miss Adelinde’s fault!”

On normal days, the headmaid would lecture them for hours and always point at things that weren’t perfect. Looking from the outside, Adelinde and her relationship with Moco and Hillie seemed no different than a distasteful situation between a boss and the two co-workers. But it was the two young girls to rushed to her side, protecting her with their own words and bodies in a time of hardship. They valued her just as Kaeya and Diluc did.

Hillie chimed in as well. “That morning, she asked us all for our opinion, and we agreed with her decision. She was only following orders!”

“Hours later, when we were getting ready for the day, Sir Connor rushed in and told us what had happened. It was only a matter of time before the Knights of Favonius turned the place into an investigation site.”

Adelinde could do nothing but cry. At least she had stopped repeating those cursed words. Moco rubbed her back, helplessly trying to console her.

“They confirmed that whoever had fought back had a Cryo Vision,” Moco continued with her voice tight with emotion. “Captain Kaeya didn’t return to Mondstadt that night. After they announced him as missing... Miss Adelinde just fell apart.”

Diluc stood there, staring at the ground, his thoughts a mess of confusion and pain.

Suddenly, he clenched his fist, and with a sharp burst of flame, he slammed it into the wall. The sound of cracking stone echoed through the winery, followed by his agonized scream.

The maids flinched and rushed to shield Adelinde, but when they realized Diluc wasn’t directing his anger at her, they turned their attention to the wall. It hadn’t caught fire, but the sight still made them gasp.

Diluc lowered his hand, blood dripping from his burnt glove as his fingers unfurled. His breath came in ragged, painful gasps, his shoulders rising and falling with each labored exhale. Blood pooled on the floor beneath him.

His eyes were wide, filled with shock, and his jaw trembled, incapable of forming words. He took a shaky step back from the wall, his mind a whirl of wrath and agony.

With a guttural cry, he gripped his hair, pulling it in anguish. The maids panicked, retreating from the scene, unsure of what to do. But it was Adelinde who finally managed to stand, her own legs trembling, as she took a hesitant step towards him.

She attempted to hold Diluc’s hands, but the warmth they had was too much. So, she held his wrists instead and tried to speak with him. “Master?”

“It’s not your fault! It’s mine!” Diluc stepped away, breaking free from Adelinde’s weak grasp. He hit the wall behind him, but he couldn’t care anymore.

He caused his brother to suffer such a terrible fate, just because he had to be such a brute back then and never make up for his immature acts.

Only if he wasn’t such a dramatic spoiled man who used everything against Kaeya... Only if Diluc could think like a normal human being for a couple of minutes, only if he didn’t care that much about his so-called pride...

Everything could be avoided.

Everything could be different.

They could really have that wonderful future Diluc promised. Only if he was just a little better, only if he was just a little patient.

As a result of his childish and immature act, Kaeya had to spend his last days suffering.

When the realization struck and lightened his dark mind like lightning shining in the sky, he hit the wall and screamed his wrath like that. And what followed after was nothing but his lament for his little brother and resentment for himself. If he could, he would choke himself to death right there.

“It is my fault!” He fell to his knees, covering his face and crying. “Again!”

No matter how hard Adelinde tried to calm him down and how many times everyone tried to prove him wrong, Diluc sobbed more. Why did everything have to be so terrible because of him?

A door opened ajar, someone struggled his way to pass through and came near the stairs. The wheelchair’s noise was unmistakable, just like the wavered voice they all knew. “Diluc?”

Even amid his shock, Diluc jolted up. His body moved before his mind could catch up, bolting toward the voice. He leaped down the stairs, stumbling and falling more than once, his limbs barely obeying his commands. He raced to his brother, who sat in a wheelchair at the foot of the stairs, looking displaced and weak, barely able to lift himself upright.

Diluc tripped again, his knees hitting the floor, wetness soaking through his pants—whether it was blood or sweat, he didn’t know. His vision blurred with tears and matted hair, obscuring everything around him. Desperation pulled at him from all sides, until a gentle hand brushed against his face.

Kaeya’s hand.

The world around him slowed, the frantic pace subsiding as Diluc followed the trace of his brother’s fingers. His gaze finally met Kaeya’s, whose eyes were already reddened with exhaustion. His pale, tear-streaked face revealed the toll everything had taken on him.

Diluc tried to speak, to explain himself, but Kaeya raised a hand, gesturing for him to stop. His slender fingers found their way into Diluc’s tangled hair, gently guiding his head to rest in his lap.

Diluc obeyed. He had no strength left to resist, no will left to argue. His head fell against Kaeya’s lap, his lips parting as if to murmur apologies for causing his brother so much worry. But no words came. They simply refused to form. He could only hope Kaeya would understand.

“It’s okay,” Kaeya whispered, his voice hoarse but soothing. “Don’t feel bad.”

And somehow, Kaeya did understand. Or perhaps he already knew what his broken, older brother was trying to say.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Kaeya…”

“You deserve everything, brother.”

It didn’t take long for Diluc to succumb to the weight of everything and pass out. The maids arrived soon after, looking at the scene with eyes full of sorrow. No one else could have calmed Diluc down during a breakdown like this—only Kaeya had that power.

Adelinde stood nearby, lost in thought, her mind screaming at her. What was she supposed to do? Should she leave? No, she couldn’t—Kaeya needed her help now. The consequences of her actions could wait. At that moment, it wasn’t about her anymore. It was about the brothers before her, broken and fragile.

Yet, for the first time in her life, Adelinde found herself utterly helpless. She had no plan, no clever solution, no idea how to fix the mistakes that had led them all here. Her years of service had never prepared her for this.

She knew she shouldn’t cry in front of Kaeya. He had been through enough already, and now he was bearing the weight of both her and Diluc’s emotional turmoil. But the tears came anyway, spilling down her cheeks in silent sobs as she tried to explain, her voice choked by the guilt that threatened to consume her.

Moco and Hillie hovered nearby, doing their best to comfort her, their kindness something Adelinde would never forget.

Everyone expected Kaeya to lash out. They all braced for it—Connor had just arrived from Angel’s Share, witnessing the scene unfold with his own grim understanding. Everyone thought Kaeya would blame Adelinde and Diluc for everything, that he would shout or cry or hurl accusations that would be all too justified.

But instead, Kaeya reached out, weakly gripping Adelinde’s clothing. He pulled her closer, resting his head against her waist. And then, without saying a word, he resumed stroking Diluc’s hair with his free hand.

Adelinde wrapped her arms around Kaeya, holding him in a motherly embrace. She whispered apologies over and over, her guilt heavy in every breath. Kaeya didn’t respond, but it was clear that the gesture meant something to him. Being recognized, being held with care and respect—it was enough to give him a small measure of peace.

And in that moment, Kaeya wished he could stay like that forever, wrapped in that fleeting sense of comfort, even if just for a little longer.

Chapter Text

𝘋𝘈𝘠 𝘛𝘏𝘙𝘌𝘌

Darkness surrounded them, leaving only the candle in the middle of the table to lighten the small area the two had gathered. Rather than the awkward silence between the two, everything felt nostalgic and right in place.

They were in the kitchen in the middle of the night, when it went so silent that they could hear the cicadas chirping outside. The leaves of the trees hardly blocked the light coming from the moon, giving the kitchen an impressive look none of them could explain, they just liked it.

It was Kaeya who reminded Diluc that neither of them had eaten anything for almost two days. Diluc’s starving body was too exhausted to even realize that, and his mind busy with countless thoughts couldn’t care less.

And now, they were there, watching the candle and looking at each other from time to time. Both of them decided to eat some strawberry yogurt since they would always eat it when they were younger.

“Diluc, how come you happened to have buckets of strawberry yogurt just lying around in the winery’s cellars?”

“There are questions that shouldn’t be answered, this is one of them.”

“You eat all of them, don’t you?”

“I save them for the days when Klee pays a visit.”

“Klee doesn’t even like strawberry yogurt.”

“…”

“Oh my God, Diluc.”

Everything felt familiar, almost the same as they were but with bigger bodies. They left their room after making sure everyone had fallen asleep as if getting caught by Adelinde would be the end of them. As if trying to have a midnight snack would cause them any trouble. The lamenting lady would be more than happy to see them eating something, actually.

When they were leaving the room they had been sharing for some time now, Diluc walked slowly. Even though he was carrying Kaeya, he didn’t look troubled in the slightest. He could hardly hide his smile as they glanced around, stopping when they heard random noises. Going to the kitchen had never been so exciting for Diluc.

Proudly eating their strawberry yogurts, Diluc decided they should talk about good memories, as everything they were doing reminded him of their childhood.

He had already ruined many hours crying and losing control after hearing the awful truth. He wanted to make sure it wouldn’t happen again—he was tired of causing problems for Kaeya with his unbalanced emotions. The least he could do was keep Kaeya’s mind occupied with good thoughts since the young man still looked troubled.

“We used to do this all the time when we were younger. Sneaking out of our rooms, carefully planning the path we’d take, and finally arriving at the kitchen. Do you remember the victory dance we’d do?”

Kaeya grinned and tried to mimic the dance as best he could, and Diluc joined him. After they got tired and laughed as quietly as possible, they continued eating. Kaeya kept chuckling, but the sickness was serious enough to remind itself each hour.

His chuckles, the slowness of his dance, even how slowly he swallowed something as simple as yogurt—everything showed that his body was gradually failing, like an engine slowing down. Watching the man who never let a day pass without excitement hurt, but Diluc had to stay strong.

He would have eternity to cry after he lost Kaeya anyway.

“The first time we got caught by Father was one of the scariest moments of my life,” Kaeya commented, pointing toward the door. “He was standing there, watching us eat the leftovers, and we were so focused that it took us ages to notice him.”

Diluc remembered that night when things almost turned into a small disaster. Kaeya was still adjusting to living with them. He respected Crepus more than any child could, listening to everything he said as if he were a god. Disappointing him or causing trouble, even though Crepus always said it was okay to make mistakes, horrified Kaeya.

Even as they grew older, Kaeya remained the same, always striving to see that proud look Crepus had whenever he succeeded. He wanted to ensure Crepus would never regret giving him the chance to live a wonderful life and change his fate.

Both Diluc and Kaeya looked at the spot where they had been caught that night, years ago they were but small lads having the fun of their lives over the smallest mischiefs. When they were caught, Diluc tried to giggle his way out of trouble while Kaeya looked absolutely horrified.

“Father had always been so kind to me from the very first day we met. But I had no idea how he’d react to that. I thought it was a serious crime since even you were very secretive about it,” Kaeya explained, giggling at how criminal he had felt back then. Diluc joined him, knowing it was mostly his fault that Kaeya thought it was a big deal.

“Then suddenly, he sat next to us and said he was there for a midnight snack too. I was so shocked.”

It was clear as day how much Kaeya missed Crepus, the only adult man he could trust after being abandoned by his real father. The reason didn’t matter—in the end, he had simply been a father who failed to do his duty, and Crepus had fortunately turned out to be a kind man.

And to think that Diluc hadn’t even let Kaeya bid his respects or attend the funeral...

“He... he never left me behind. He always took care of me, asked about my day, and gave me the same attention he showed you,” Kaeya sounded both melancholic and grateful. “When I first came here, and he said I could stay, I thought I wouldn’t be treated very well. But you two welcomed me with open arms, and suddenly I found myself privileged with love and respect.”

He smiled. Despite everything that was about to happen, he smiled. “Thank you. It must have been so hard to share such an amazing father with me.”

No matter how stoic a man Diluc was, he couldn’t hide his tears. “I should be thanking you for sharing this life with us, brother. If it weren’t for you, none of us would have had such colorful stories.”

Kaeya lowered his head modestly in respect. Breaking eye contact, he finally said what had been troubling him. “When the time comes, and I pass away, may I be known as Kaeya Ragnvindr?”

Remembering that awful truth again, Diluc sighed. This alarmed Kaeya, making him speak less casually. “Oh, I apologize. I shouldn’t have gone that far.”

“Wait—” Diluc tried to gather his thoughts. “I didn’t sigh at that. Of course, you’ll get your surname back. Do you want anything else?”

Surprised, Kaeya was silent for a while, looking around as if debating whether he should push his luck. Why had he gotten so alarmed over something so small? Had Diluc failed to clear up the misunderstanding?

“Don’t be afraid. Say whatever you want, I won’t get mad. I promise,” Diluc reassured him. That was what helped Kaeya speak further.

“I want to be buried next to our father. Is that okay too?”

“It is.”

“Thank you.” And just like that, as if he hadn’t just planned his own funeral, he continued eating his yogurt. He looked much better now—less terrified and troubled.

The rest of their “secret snacking” was quiet. When they were done, Diluc got rid of the evidence by cleaning their bowls and putting them back in place. After finishing, he lifted Kaeya and carried him back to bed.

Now back in their room, they sat in their funny, comfy pajamas. Kaeya took off his eyepatch, less skeptical this time. They looked at each other and smiled, but this time, it was Diluc who looked troubled.

“Brother, are you okay?” Kaeya asked. It took a moment for Diluc to realize Kaeya was talking, and he nodded hurriedly.

Kaeya wasn’t pleased with the answer. His expression alone asked if Diluc was serious, especially with his half-closed eyelids and straight lips.

“Why are you still afraid I might get mad at you?”

Diluc instantly regretted asking that question—Kaeya had too many reasons. He couldn’t stop counting them once he started, was his life expectancy long enough for them to finish listing the reasons? Diluc wished he hadn’t asked. Starvation and exhaustion barely felt any different than the hollow he had within, but they surely ruined his intelligence.

The younger one hesitated, unsure whether to answer honestly or let it slide by saying he didn’t want to talk. But then, Kaeya thought to himself.

Diluc had given him the funeral he wanted and was more than willing to provide him with anything he wanted. Diluc had the right to know the truth. So, even though he disliked the idea, Kaeya decided to be honest. “Let me answer with another question.”

Honesty. It used to be the reason that almost got him killed.

“Did you leave because you were tired of me?”

The redhead blinked, floored by the question. “What? Of course not! Like I said before, I left because I needed time to think. I was gathering my thoughts, trying to figure out what to do about us and everything.”

“Well... everyone said you left because you were tired of me and didn’t want to be around me.”

Diluc’s eyes widened as he unconsciously grasped the bedsheet. His curious gaze begged Kaeya to explain, which Kaeya gladly did since it had been bothering him too. The sentences he had heard over and over echoed in his mind. He slowly quoted every one of them.

“He’s much likely happier, without a certain someone,”

“Did you act like that on purpose so he would leave again?”

“Are you asking the same things because you’ve run out of questions?”

“Why don’t you act as if you left too? I wonder how quickly Master Diluc will come back.”

“Like, no one can blame him, we all know how you would talk to him all the time.”

“Poor Master Diluc, his days would be all fine and calm until you step into the scene and somehow drive him insane.”

“I wonder what he thinks whenever he looks at you, he sighs a lot and frowns even more, everyone got the message but you.”

“He might be in danger, but he definitely thinks it is better than being stuck with you.”

“Just get it, he’s avoiding you! It’s your fault that he doesn’t want to come back! Who would want to, really? No one can blame Master Diluc, I would leave too if I had to deal with someone like you! Are you happy now?”

He thought laughing at them and acting as if he didn’t care would help. To stop them, to let Kaeya deal with the pain easily, and to ignore the possibility that it is really the case. But no matter how much he laughed or came up with something else, everyone just got madder.

They all loved Diluc so much that they didn’t care how the cavalry captain felt. Kaeya couldn’t blame them, they were right. Diluc was more than simply a rich man, he and his company were one of the main sources of income for Mondstadt. He stepped in where the Knight couldn’t. He ensured everyone’s safety, even without revealing his hidden identity. People believed it was Diluc who protected them during the day and the Darknight Hero during the night.

“At first, I thought you had your own reasons. Maybe you found critical information about the Fatui and you were pursuing your way to end them or something. I never thought it was my fault until people started to show their anger.”

“...their anger?”

Kaeya nodded. “They were angry and terrified, your absence scared everyone. They searched for a reason, someone to blame, and all of a sudden, all fingers were pointing at me.”

“Maybe it is my fault. Because at some point, I started to get worried too. I started an investigation to find you and tried to gather information. But I asked so many questions that people... started to get a little rude. I didn’t put a stop to their comments early enough, so the comments got bigger and bigger like an avalanche.”

“They said things like it is my fault that you left. The way I talked, the way I behaved, and everything. That you would sulk whenever you saw me, get mad, and stuff. Everyone believed that you left because you wanted to avoid me. And... I wouldn’t believe this if it were some people saying this to make me upset but...”

Tears formed in his eyes. But he wanted to talk, to let it all go so he could finally be free. Because he didn’t talk about it, the thoughts would never leave his mind. “It was the entirety of Mondstadt. Everyone believed it was my fault, so I started to believe too.”

Kaeya fiddled with his clothing. “They would talk about this so much that I ended up losing many friends. Only Rosaria and Venti never judged me, but I couldn’t decide if they were just good at hiding it or not. Whenever I entered somewhere, eyes were always on me, silently ordering me to get out and never come back. Even Jean. She did her best to be kind and not show it, but I knew she thought it was I who drove you into leaving Mondstadt. I... In the end I...”

“I decided to don’t come back, so I wouldn’t have to deal with their hateful gazes,” he sighed, closing his eyes and letting his short hair slide. “I wanted to stay away from the city for a while, to be somewhere else.”

Diluc gasped. “And that day, you asked Adelinde if you could stay here!”

The younger one nodded. “She denied, and I left. But I still didn’t want to go back to the city even though I felt uneasy. Turns out the reason why I felt so unsettled back then was that I had been followed by the Fatui. Before I could react, they surrounded me and...”

Kaeya finally decided to stop. He looked to his left, where he once had an arm. He heard Diluc sobbing. Kaeya didn’t interfere. He didn’t have a limb there, he was aware of it, yet he could feel as if his brain still blindly believed there were nerves and muscles. He could give his nonexistent arm the comments, yet only the emptiness would greet him.

“What if they are right? What if you are tired of me? I wonder if you would leave again if I made you mad, so I don’t want you to get angry, okay?” he finally said, Archons, how hard it was for someone like Kaeya to be so open about his feelings..! All the years he has spent constructing that facade of him full of lies and smiles, only to be torn asunder by his own deluded thoughts. His mangled body would have been laughing at him if it had a mind of its own.

“I swear over my pride that none of those are true!” Diluc hugged him, pressing hard to ensure his seriousness. “I swear, I will never leave your side. Whether I get mad or not, I swear, I will never leave you again!”

But it didn’t matter at that point. And Kaeya felt bad.

Because this time, it was Kaeya who was about to leave.

But still, feeling the warm hug he loved so much was a nice farewell gift.

Chapter Text

𝘋𝘈𝘠 𝘍𝘖𝘜𝘙

After their talk in the kitchen and going back to sleep, Diluc expected everything to be normal. According to their normal routine, Kaeya would see nightmares and wake up from time to time. Diluc would comfort him and they could hardly sleep for four hours or so.

But this time, Kaeya didn’t wake up once, and his slumber lasted for almost a day. And when he finally managed to open his eye, he found himself surrounded by the best doctors of Teyvat, all watching him and deciding which medicine they should use.

Seeing Diluc sitting somewhere in the corner of the room, crying, and Adelinde trying to comfort him hurt Kaeya’s heart. But he couldn’t speak, he didn’t know why, but his mouth didn’t move.

Kaeya wished he never had to see any of these, someone as gentle and caring (even though his usual demeanor often said otherwise) Diluc didn’t deserve any of these. He felt another ache for his brother, one more tear he shed for the comfort he could provide Diluc with.

He even wished Diluc arrived one week later, after his passing, so the redhead would never have to deal with him. Although Diluc constantly said otherwise and Kaeya stopped doubting his honesty, he knew so well he was nothing but a burden.

When the doctors announced that Kaeya finally woke up, Diluc bolted, hugging him tightly and yelling how terrified he was. Holding Kaeya’s Vision tightly, he kept saying that the only thing that kept him sane was the turquoise light of the Vision.

It took some time and medicine for Kaeya to start to speak, but he got better as he kept his mind busy. The doctors asked many questions, testing his consciousness and how bad he got.

“What is your name?”

“Do you know how old you are?”

“Where are we in right now?”

“Do you remember anything from yesterday?”

Thankfully, Kaeya answered all those questions correctly, his words were slow but good enough to prove that he was mentally stable.

Hours passed after the incident, and now it was eight in the morning. Even though his body was exhausted, almost unable to sit on his own, he still had the power to talk and have conversations. Yes, it was that day, when everyone wanted to come and see Kaeya one last time. They could tell Kaeya wanted serenity and solitude in his last days, and he was already losing the remains of his vitality.

Albedo thought that he shouldn’t come there with Klee, as Kaeya’s mangled body was still too terrifying for the girl to keep her cool and Kaeya couldn’t agree with the girl more. Even he had a hard time looking in the mirror, he felt so unusual and terrified. The phantom feelings of his missing arm and leg were like grotesque ghost stories.

Sucrose came there one hour later, with a little basket full of drawings Klee and Albedo did, and Kaeya’s favorite chocolates. He couldn’t hide his chuckles as he looked at them, Adelinde on her side only joined him and let him do whatever he wanted.

Now happily eating his chocolate, Kaeya was talking with Jean and Barbara. Both ladies were trying their best to hide how sorrowful they felt. It has been four days only and he has already lost too much weight.

Adelinde kindly explained to all of their guests that they shouldn’t tire Kaeya so much, so many people visited and quickly left, making their job easier.

Actually, the main reason why they didn’t keep guests for too long was that Kaeya personally wanted to get this whole visiting thing done as soon as possible. Diluc, having urgent business in the city, had to leave very early, and being without him made Kaeya uncomfortable. Only with Adelinde and Elzer’s presence did he feel safe.

With Kaeya’s consent, Diluc briefly explained the situation the Adelinde and Elzer, warning them to make sure no one Kaeya is uncomfortable with will be around. But despite hiding many details from the two, Diluc still had to stop them from committing some… unusual methods of greeting.

“Maybe we should put poison in their drinks, something that won’t kill them but enough to make them leave. How about emetic poison?”

“I have a better idea, dear Adelinde, you can greet the guests and I will wait somewhere with my good ol’ shotgun!” Elzer put his hand on Kaeya’s shoulder. “If Master Kaeya wants someone downed, I will shoot them and pretend that my hand slipped.”

Diluc, screaming in panic mode, told them to stop but the three of them kept giggling. Their vile plans were so cruel and satisfying that Kaeya couldn’t stop laughing even though his wounds hurt. Their sense of humor truly was the best.

“I will wink at you when I want someone dead,” Kaeya laughed.

“But boy how are we supposed to know you are winking?” he asked back, this was his only concern. Diluc gasped, whispering Elzer’s name with a threatening tone as the man looked around as if he heard nothing.

Awkward yet efficient, they managed to help Kaeya prepare himself to talk with so many people within hours. After all, everyone was preparing for the worst. The week was coming to an end, and Kaeya already started to show severe symptoms.

The same man who looked like he was going to die that day was now excited to get the job done, greeting everyone and overlooking how everyone was desperately trying not to cry. If being popular had one negative side, it was that he always had to treat everyone with the same excitement. He didn’t want to die making people upset.

But those who broke his heart could go to hell, he decided.

And now, there he was, peacefully eating his chocolate as they talked. Amber’s conversations were always fun and comforting, seeing her actually made Kaeya feel happy. And Barbara entering there with lots of painkillers felt like a blessing too. Even Rosaria was so sweet, telling Kaeya she could “dispose of” anyone who annoyed him.

“Give me a list, and I’ll make sure they will sleep forever.”

The day was all normal and calm until one of the knights dived in out of nowhere. “Acting Grandmaster Jean! There is an attacker causing havoc in the city, we need your help!”

Everyone gasped. Jean apologized at least ten times as she left with Barbara, Rosaria, and Amber. Sucrose followed right after. They ran their way through the vineyard and left.

“That was fast,” Elzer commented. “Even I didn’t expect such a thing to happen. I wonder what’s going on, surely Master Diluc should be able to deal with it.”

Then the very same master entered the room, Kaeya happily called his name and showed him the chocolates he got. Diluc only smiled and patted Kaeya’s head. He took some chocolates wrapped in marvelous packets from his pocket, Kaeya’s favorite ones, and put them in the basket.

And then Kaeya said something that made things confusing. “You smell like… blood.”

“Oh,” Diluc said, obviously not shocked, as if Kaeya just said that the mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell.

Elzer and Adelinde stared at Diluc. Both of them waited for an explanation. The wine tycoon acted like they were not there for a while, but avoiding those gazes was nigh impossible. In the end, he sighed. “Okay, okay. Fine, stop staring into my soul like that you two.”

“Just one minute ago, Jean and her group left here because a knight told them that there was an attacker in Mondstadt. Someone so good at their job that they needed the Acting Grandmaster herself. And, what a coincidence it is, you happened to be here smelling bloody,” Kaeya spoke what Elzer and Adelinde wanted to say.

“Well, that person happens to be me, yes.”

At first, Kaeya was going to laugh, but then he realized this wasn’t a joke. “Wait— what?!”

“I didn’t kill them, just made sure it hurt a lot,” and this didn’t lessen Kaeya’s worries at all. Elzer and Adelinde gasped.

“But you didn’t even let us whip anyone!” Elzer protested. That was what they were mad about, Kaeya had a hard time understanding what was going on.

Weren’t they joking about the things they would do to people who upset him? Were they literally planning a serial murder?

“People suddenly getting hurt both in Mondstadt and Dawn Winery would raise suspicion. That’s why I didn’t let anyone cause any harm, I was going to do it anyway,” Diluc shrugged. Kaeya gasped again, how many times did he gasp that day anyway?

Then, Diluc looked at Kaeya, the poor knight starting at him with wide-open eye and mouth. “Oh, you thought you three were joking back then? The poison and shotgun thing?”

Kaeya just nodded.

Adelinde and Elzer laughed, and Diluc giggled. “You know I’m more than what I show to the public, and so are Adelinde and Elzer.”

In disbelief, Kaeya needed some time to think. He blinked, blinked, and blinked again. And then, continued eating his chocolate as if he didn’t just learn his brother and two normal-looking people had a thing for murdering and torturing people.

“I hunted each one of them, the ones that broke your heart the most.”

“But I didn’t even give you names…” At least this was what Kaeya could remember. He kept talking about it for so long that couldn’t remember what he said. Actually, he was going to apologize to Diluc for suddenly starting to vent his feelings and ruining their calm night.

He did not expect this.

“I know. But you explained enough, I could guess them from the way they spoke.”

“Oh.”

After an awkward silence, Adelinde said that she would go help the girls prepare dinner. And Elzer said the papers were waiting to be checked and signed, so they both left the room after reminding them how much they loved them.

And thus, Diluc and Kaeya were alone in the room. Diluc closed the door and sat right next to Kaeya, not looking like he had just beaten so many people to unconsciousness. He stared at his hands. “Maybe I shouldn’t have straight-up punched people.”

Kaeya turned his head to Diluc, wanting to say there were more things he shouldn’t have done.

“Kicks would do too.”

“Oh my God.” Kaeya sighed, trying to hide the fact he kind of liked it. Liked a lot, maybe. He felt bad for having fun with people getting injured.

But to think his big brother actually got there and beat his bullies was so good. “You used to do this a lot when we were children.”

“Ah, yes,” Diluc remembered. “Idiots thought it was a good idea to make fun of your skin color until I beat them to the point that they were all purple and red.”

Kaeya laughed hard, hugging his chocolates. He offered one of them to Diluc, and when he realized Diluc refused out of kindness, he forced him to eat some.

“I always wondered how you always managed to get away with it. Like, didn’t any of the teachers or parents punish you? And our dad, what did he think about this? I once heard from someone that he would scold you a lot in the principal’s office.”

“And the second we left the school, he would buy me ice cream and say I did a good job.”

“I’m sorry to hear th— …what?” Kaeya looked confused, eyebrows raised. “He would do what?”

“He would only act like he’s mad at me because he didn’t want to deal with the principal. And I knew he was acting all the time. At some point, it got so funny that I could hardly keep myself from laughing.”

“He actually approved this?”

“Yes. He hated those children. He would love to teach them a lesson himself, too, but he would get arrested. At least, no one would arrest a child beating another child, the worst I could get was detention.”

“Oh my…” Kaeya found himself smiling. He could feel his heart beating slightly faster. It has been so long since he felt that protected.

Since there wasn’t anyone around, Diluc could give Kaeya some of the things they had hidden before the guests arrived.

His plush animals. With each night passing by, their number seemed to increase.

Diluc put them in Kaeya’s lap with the attention he would only show to a baby. Kaeya took off his eyepatch and smiled. Diluc helped him put the eyepatch away. “By the way, remember the day we left the school because they have decided that we are too knowledgeable to need further education?”

“Yes! I felt so proud and happy to leave the school. That was so cool.”

“We were expelled,” Diluc said with a straight expression, his monotone voice added more to the bizarreness of his reveal. “Father lied.”

Kaeya put his hand on his chest, looking offended. Diluc did deserve to get expelled at some point because the older he got, the more brutal his way of dealing with the bullies became. But what did the younger innocent child he was back then do to deserve that?

He didn’t complain though, he just liked the lie their father told. Being out of there was like heaven, Kaeya liked learning at home so much that he accidentally got a studying addiction. To that day, he sensed a weird kind of joy whenever he learned new things.

“I didn’t do anything,” Diluc started. And then he laughed so loud that even he seemed surprised at himself.

He kept laughing, giggling, whining, and rolling on the bed for so long that Kaeya found himself laughing at the man. He loved seeing Diluc happy. He loved this view a lot.

Diluc laughed so badly that his abdomen started to hurt, he had to stop at some point. Now lying right next to Kaeya with all the chocolates and plush animals lying around, Diluc couldn’t ask for more to feel relaxed. It has been so long since he laughed that loud. That painful but satisfying exhaustion of laughing his soul out was the therapy he needed.

“It was our father,” Diluc squeezed his arms to not start laughing again. “He threw a table in the principal's face!”

“A what?” Kaeya asked horrified. But then he started to laugh too. “A what!?”

Diluc’s laughter got louder again, at that point, the red-haired was punching the bed. “I was there, I still remember the day to its smallest detail.”

“The principal and our father were in the middle of an argument because I pushed someone from the stairs and almost broke his leg. I defended myself, saying that the idiot boy was planning to cut your hair because everyone knew how much you loved your hair.”

“Father defended me and they started to argue. The principal was so done with me injuring people every day. And my father was tired of seeing you so upset and terrified. But even though he had no patience left, our father still tried to settle things peacefully when the principal yelled his frustration like a baby throwing a tantrum.”

“In the end, the principal even said something bad about you. That the children were right to think you are ‘odd’ and even ‘less beautiful’ because you aren’t white. He said that there was no harm with some ‘jokes’ and it was you who made things seem too much.”

Kaeya felt an ache inside his heart, remembering the bad memories. They were not things that Kaeya overreacted to, he would still be heartbroken if he got the same treatment.

“As I was going to yell at that guy to shut up, I saw our dad grabbing the table in front of him vigorously. Before the principal could react, he threw the table into his face,” Diluc giggled. “Serves him right, I was so proud of our father at that moment. And I’m happy that I finally got the opportunity to tell you this story.”

Kaeya let out an evil laugh.

•·················•·················•

The rest of their day continued without a problem. The only thing that was troubling Adelinde, but wasn’t out of the ordinary, was that Kaeya and Diluc didn’t have any appetite. They didn’t want to eat anything. They were only sitting there, talking as they ate some chocolate. Diluc noticed he hadn’t drunk any water throughout the day when he was giving Kaeya his medicine.

Adelinde couldn’t help but worry. She understood that Kaeya had no reason to take care of his health, he could do whatever he wanted considering his body was extremely sensitive and it even reacted negatively to water from time to time. But what about Diluc? Why did he stop eating? She just hoped he ate something when he was in the city, but deep down, she had a strong feeling that he didn’t.

When Adelinde came into their room and knocked on their room, she heard no reply. She waited for a while, carefully opened the door, and entered inside. To see the boys sleeping peacefully. Kaeya was hugging Diluc as usual, and Diluc’s arm was under Kaeya’s head.

The lady sighed and decided that the moment Diluc woke up, she would make sure that he ate something. She would even dare to argue with him, and no, she wasn’t going to listen to his excuses. Taking care of Kaeya was already a hard task, being responsible for carrying him everywhere and helping him use his wheelchair. He had to be exhausted and starving.

So she left the room, told everyone to be quiet, and let the boys sleep.

The archon sitting by the window, unnoticed by all, kept looking at the helpless Ragnvindrs. The unbendable fate was coming near, and he knew something the other did not.

Chapter Text

Ever since he started living in Dawn Winery, spending his last days with his family —Diluc and the staff— his nightmares became less and less terrifying. He even had two dreams that were so calming and reassuring that he wondered if he stood a slim chance against the lethal disease.

He could feel the presence of the Anemo Archon for some reason, his gaze was there like he wanted to calm the imposter child of Mondstadt. Maybe he was there because he had a thing to say, or he wanted to bid his farewell in the quietest way possible. Who could decide?

Even though he wouldn't admit it, getting Diluc’s attention once he woke up from his nightmares made him happy. For once, for the first time ever in his life, he was glad to have those terrible dreams and twisted delusions.

Diluc caressed his head just like how he would when they were younger, trying to change the topic with daily conversations, and constantly asking if he was okay. Both his quiet and gentle voice, and how mature he looked reminded him of Crepus too.

One side of him hated himself for putting Diluc through so much suffering, but the love-starved side finally showing itself with all honesty was happier beyond the realm of words.

He felt terrible for waking Diluc up so constantly. But he couldn’t help it, the nightmares were so realistic that he couldn’t wake up without screaming. But, he could finally feel proud, he learned to control his tears so he wouldn’t cry. That would make Diluc less upset, Kaeya thought.

Now that he thinks about it, the fact that he will be leaving the world soon was becoming less of a thing he wanted to deny. There weren’t many things in his mind that he wanted to achieve in life.

Mondstadt is safe, Diluc has forgiven him, and everyone in Mondstadt will know him as a gentle knight who did everything for his land. Kaeya could finally understand why all the grandmas he talked with always advised him to live a life he would never regret, so full of joy and achievements that he could think of them instead of his regrets as he waited for death to come.

Another realistic nightmare of his sent him to somewhere he couldn’t register. He wasn’t in that abhorrent place where the Fatuus tortured him, nor the moment seven years ago when Diluc was about to deal his lethal hit to slain Kaeya.

Instead, he opened his eyes in a carriage. Hardly seeing anything because of his blurry vision and the sun had yet to rise fully. He could at least register that darkish tone of blue on the sky, reminding him of his hair. It was raining, as usual, it would always rain in his dreams.

His hearing got better and better, unlike his vision. And the more sounds he started to hear, the more confused he got. He tried to use his hands to understand where he exactly was, he didn’t know anything but the fact that he was lying uncomfortably.

Weird, he never had a dream like that before.

The whipping voices coming from the outside belonged to Elzer, who kept screaming at the horses to hurry up. Thunders roared, the sky lightened a couple of times, and Kaeya noticed that Diluc was there with him too.

Horrified and overventilating, he couldn’t even wipe the blood on his face. This expression on his face reminded Kaeya of the expression he had when their father was dying in his arms. The same fear, tears leaking nonstop, and shivering chin as if he was freezing to death. Kaeya’s heart hurt, he didn’t want to see him like that again.

“Okay, okay, Elzer! Elzer, Kaeya is awake!” Diluc yelled, thanking the seven gods as he waited for Elzer’s response. In return, he heard Elzer screaming his gratitude to the Anemo Archon.

What a weird dream that was, Kaeya couldn’t remember when he lived something like that.

The knight raised his shaky hand, what happened so bad that he couldn’t control himself easily? But eventually, he managed to put his hand on Diluc’s chin, trying to rub off the blood. Whose blood was that? Diluc didn’t look hurt, so Kaeya didn’t have to worry.

But then he realized it was his blood, where else could that taste of iron come from if it wasn’t his? He could smell the blood in his nose and mouth, making him open his eyes wide.

Diluc held Kaeya’s hand and for a while, he lost it and just sobbed. Not able to say a word, he just held his hand tight and cried. That strong man, the uncrowned king of Mondstadt, was weeping like a child. For him.

“You are going to be okay,” Diluc cried, accidentally informing Kaeya that everything got out of control already with his shaky voice. Diluc, no matter how intense a situation got, would never show his fear. Coldblooded and confident till the end of the problem, he would give everyone the feeling of safety.

But not at that time, he was crying. Crying and whimpering like how he did when Kaeya couldn’t wake up for a day.

That wasn’t a nightmare.

“You are going to be okay, believe me, it’s okay!” was he trying to convince Kaeya or himself at that point?

“We are near the entrance, we are almost there!” Elzer informed. Remembering all the stairs on their way to the infirmary of the Headquarters and the Cathedral, the panicked man swore.

Kaeya despised himself for putting the two worried men over such a hustle. He was going to die anyway, everyone knew, why to exhaust themselves over the inevitable? He felt ashamed, wishing the week could end sooner.

They didn’t deserve to go through such turmoil, crying over a truth Kaeya had already accepted and even welcomed.

“You… don’t look okay,” was all could Kaeya say before his eyelids became too heavy. His vision got blurrier than before, almost not able to see anything at that point.

He could hear Diluc yelling his name, screaming at him to wake up and for Elzer to hurry. The whipping noises got higher, the carriage shook violently with the speed, and birds on their way hurriedly flew around them.

•·················•·················•

𝘋𝘈𝘠 𝘍𝘐𝘝𝘌

The cathedral’s bell rang, and its voice echoed through the city.

Diluc woke up by jumping from his seat, having a hard time registering where he was and how he came there. A sister nearby asked if he wanted water.

“Where is Kaeya? How is he?” he stood up quickly, a big mistake. His head started to hurt so bad that he could feel the curves of his brain, the world spun around him. Darkness attempted to consume his vision, making Diluc stunned and unable to say anything for a while.

“My child, are you alright?” the worried sister, Jilliana, asked. She put her hand on Diluc’s chin and gasped at how unusually cold he was for a Pyro. The cold sweat played its role effectively, making Diluc look like he just run around the city walls three times.

“Kaeya— is he okay?” Diluc asked again when he started to feel just a little better, at least good enough to talk and understand whatever the worried nun said.

“Yes, he’s okay. Sir Elzer and you have arrived just in time,” Jilliana answered. Diluc took a deep breath and his lungs hurt, but it felt nice.

“Where is he? Can I see him?” Diluc asked next, but Jilliana looked at him, hoping he would realize that he should be worried about himself too. Even by trying to preserve his balance, Diluc was using great effort and his Vision was working overtime.

As far as she knew, Diluc had never been that… weak and slim. His clothing seemed a little big on his normally bulky body. His legs trembled and Jilliana couldn’t decide if it was caused by sheer panic or if there was another reason. He looked devastated, exhausted, and unfocused.

Like, Jilliana tried to calm her worries, everyone who got so close to losing their loved one would end up like that. But she still couldn’t help but worry. “Would you like to sit down and drink some water first? I can bring you something to eat too, it will help.”

“Later, I have to see my brother first,” Diluc refused. He held her from her shoulders, but his fingers were too weak to actually cling on. “Please, please show me where he is.”

Jilliana couldn’t refuse. Maybe getting him to see Kaeya would comfort him, as his tense body looked like it wouldn’t accept anything but a hug. She never thought that day would come, the day she would see Diluc trembling and on the edge of falling to his knees.

The nun guided him to the room where Kaeya stayed, somewhere small and had a beautiful view of the city. Somewhere Kaeya deserved to spend his last moments, Rosaria thought when she was deciding where he should stay.

Diluc, looking around worriedly and trying to guess which door led to his little brother, saw Rosaria sleeping on one of the pews. So he wasn’t the only one who was awake the whole night. She too seemed as devastated as him.

“Everyone did their best to save Captain Kaeya,” Jilliana informed. “It is all thanks to the Anemo God and your correctly done first aid.”

When she opened the door, Diluc instinctively ran inside.

And he saw Kaeya’s pale body mostly hidden under the blanket. The heavy smell of medicine hit his face hard, making Diluc’s already awful condition worse. He felt nausea creeping out, shivering his body. But he didn’t have time to worry about himself, Diluc thought, Kaeya looked terrible.

Barbara, who spent the night there with Kaeya woke up with Diluc’s voice. She opened her eyes to see the worried brother holding Kaeya’s cheeks and looking at him terrified.

“Oh my God, what happened to you? Oh my God…” he couldn’t see how severe and pallid he looked under dim light, Diluc realized. Only with the light of the sun was he able to see how close they got to losing him. “Oh my… Oh no…”

Jilliana looked at Barbara, and seeing her nod, Jilliana gently smiled and left. The deaconess stood up to greet Diluc, trying to avoid talking about Kaeya’s condition as much as possible.

“Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong? Why does he look so pale?” Diluc asked, breathing rapidly. He got dizzy and had to sit down. Barbara’s concerned gaze shifted from Kaeya to Diluc, she could tell something was odd about the older one.

“Master Diluc, you have no idea what a good job you did handling the crisis,” Barbara started. “You should be proud of yourself, please be at ease.”

But Diluc didn’t listen, he kept blaming himself in his mind. Caressing Kaeya’s hair and constantly looking at his eyes with the hope of seeing him awake, Diluc wondered what he should have done.

“As far as I learned from Sir Elzer, everything happened too fast,” she wanted to learn if there was anything else she should know, but she didn’t have the heart to ask directly. Diluc seemed so terribly ill that Barbara had to pray to Barbatos that he didn’t faint. No one could tell if it was the result of his helpless panic or the fact that he had been neglecting his well-being. The Vision did an astonishing job at sustaining the flow of energy in his body, though it was a temporary solution no one was aware of.

“You woke up to Sir Kaeya’s coughs and whimpers, and then you saw blood coming from his mouth and nose. You positioned his body in a way that he wouldn’t choke, a wise move, really,” Barbara admitted. “No one could think of that the second they woke up to an emergency.”

Diluc’s throat burned, he wanted to cry but his eyes ached horribly. And no matter how many times he blinked, they never got to feel wet enough, was this another symptom of panic? Maybe he just couldn’t sleep well, he tried to reason. “He lost consciousness shortly after. And he was awake for a minute when we were on our way to the infirmary at the Headquarters.”

Barbara nodded. “Then, my sister used her powers to keep Sir Kaeya breathing. The knights there helped you to bring Sir Kaeya here.”

“Kaeya woke up for a minute then too,” Diluc remembered. “He didn’t say anything, he just… he just looked at me. He looked sorry, I know it, he still blamed himself.”

“Blamed himself for what?” Barbara’s gentle voice asked.

“He doesn’t want to show it, but I know he feels like a burden,” Diluc admitted, he had no idea why he decided to talk about that. Maybe he just needed to talk. “I made him feel this way, didn’t I? I neglected him for years so bad that now he thinks me performing my responsibilities is something he doesn’t deserve.”

“I’m sure he just feels bad because he’s prideful,” Barbara lied, she agreed with Diluc’s reasoning. But she couldn’t say it to his face. Besides, Kaeya really was someone who hardly asked for help from anyone.

Diluc refused, he knew his brother. He knew he made Kaeya afraid of asking if he could be buried next to their father, and have the surname he deserved more than Diluc himself did. He felt ashamed, wondering what their father would think of him if he knew how much wrong he did. Crepus would probably disown Diluc just like how Diluc abandoned Kaeya into his unknown fate of misery and uncertainty.

Maybe one day, after that disgusting day comes and takes Kaeya away, he will confess his sins. Maybe, he will purposely let everything get revealed.

That it was Diluc’s selfishness that he showed Kaeya as the bad brother, so everyone could hate him as much as he used to.

That it was Diluc’s fault the Fatui could wander around freely, as he wasn’t there to stop them.

That it was Diluc’s impudence to ban him from entering Dawn Winery, taking his last chance of safety from his hands like the brute he used to be.

That it was Diluc’s stubbornness that kept him from coming back early. If he had been there earlier, he would have found Kaeya. Somehow, someway, he would make it before that grotesque doctor injected that damned poison into him.

Yes, he deserved that, a sinner like him deserved that. He deserved to ruin his own reputation and live a life worse than any death that could hold him by the neck. But looking at Kaeya’s condition and how unfair everything has been for the both of them, wasn’t this the greatest punishment one could bestow upon Diluc?

“Is there any reason why his body… reacted like this? Is it because he hasn’t eaten anything much lately? Oh, how did I manage to forget that? I shouldn’t have listened when Kaeya said he’s not feeling hungry,” he started to blame himself again.

The headache got worse, darkness started to appear again, why was he feeling that tired? He had worse days, days that he had to stay awake and keep walking for hours nonstop. And he still didn’t feel that exhausted.

“You did nothing wrong Master Diluc, it’s the effect of the poison,” Barbara answered, she didn’t know if the answer made things better or not. “His body is fighting against the sickness, he’s trying to get rid of the poison. But… it’s already deep inside his veins, so the way how his body fights is not very helpful.”

So the small possibility, the ridiculous hope of Kaeya magically beating the sickness and healing didn’t exist. At that point, it was his own body that destroyed him.

Now that he looked at Kaeya carefully, his wounds were bleeding again. Especially that huge cut where once his arm was. They dealt with that too when they were saving Kaeya, Diluc noticed, but the bandages were already getting red again.

Diluc sighed. “Thank you, all of you, really.”

“No problem, this is our job,” Barbara said. “But you should rest, it has not been easy for you. I can see it in your eyes, Master Diluc.”

“I’m fine, just shocked.”

“Have you been sleeping and eating well?” she asked. As far as she knew, Diluc had the responsibility for almost everything about Kaeya. Carrying him around, pushing his wheelchair, helping him get dressed and take his medicine, and checking his condition all the time. Those required a lot of energy. “I assume you drink water regularly?”

“Yeah,” Diluc didn’t want to talk about it. What he was going to say? That the last things he ate were a cup of strawberry yogurt and some chocolate Kaeya gave him? That he slept for three hours a day, for he woke up horrified and checked Kaeya’s pulse throughout the night? He still felt grateful that he acted so well that Kaeya believed he only woke up when Kaeya saw nightmares. “Everything is under control. It’s just stress, it is ruining me.”

Anyone who was to hear about this would think Diluc is an amazing big brother. Responsible, caring, and understanding. But for Diluc, he just did what he had to do. He didn’t have the right to feel okay because he did his part. He had to do more than that, he had to do more than letting Kaeya stay in the same winery that was supposed to be his, too.

How could no one just see it? Why didn’t anyone hit him in the face and order him to take a look at himself, recall everything he had done, and face just how inefficient he had been all along?

Chapter Text

𝘋𝘈𝘠 𝘚𝘐𝘟

When did he fall asleep? When did he wake up? What time was it?

Diluc opened his sore eyes, feeling unavoidable numbness in his body. His eyes burnt, feeling too dry despite all the tears that left them. He could hardly push himself to take a deep breath, as he recently realized that he didn’t breathe enough.

However, no matter how much he filled his lungs with the fresh air, his lungs crawled for something more. As if his body didn’t have enough, even though his lungs hurt already. Some kind of emptiness he wanted to fill was getting unavoidable.

The more aware and conscious he became, the better he felt. But the headache never seemed to go away. His vision slowly got better, colors shaping in front of his eyes and finally becoming things Diluc’s mind could register. The voices around him finally start to make sense.

The voice of the beautiful birds and the songs they sang. The giant trees and their countless leaves danced with the wind. The lively noise coming from the city. And someone gasping and whimpering right next to him.

The last thing wasn’t comforting at all.

Diluc raised his head swiftly and his head hurt so bad that he almost screamed. “K—Kaeya?”

Breathing heavily, Kaeya was holding his chest. Tears left his both eyes, he tried to say something, but no voice other than whimpers came out. His nose, not so long ago, started bleeding too. The droplets of blood dirtying the bed sheet alarmed the redhead even more.

“I’ll get Barbara, just wait!” Diluc informed after he stood up, bolting out of the room and calling for the deaconess. Within seconds, Kaeya could hear his older brother calling out for Barbara.

If he still had the strength, he would laugh at how worried he sounded. It was just a stupid pain, nothing terrible, he could handle it. He had to go through worse and still act like he had no problem.

Because the painkillers were so strong that he would get sleepy. He didn’t want to sleep, he wanted to be with Diluc. It wasn’t fair, so he tried to cope with the pain to the point of screaming and crying.

It got worse and worse, and Kaeya had second thoughts. Maybe Diluc was right to sound that loud. As if hundreds of knives started to cut through his flesh and organs, he gasped for air and hardly inhaled anything.

When Barbara along with a few other nuns entered the room, they found Kaeya grasping the bed sheet and trying his best not to scream. Eyes shut tightly, he tried to control his breathing.

Even though Barbara told Diluc not to come inside —because she knew it would affect his emotions badly— he went in anyway. “Okay, okay, we are here Kae!”

Before Kaeya could even register anything, the pain traveled through every vein of his, making him feel like he was burning.

He started screaming, whimpering, trying to move and squeeze his wounds, as they hurt the most and he had no idea what to do. But everyone there knew this wasn’t going to help. Barbara started to use her powers to try to soothe the pain, but even she couldn’t do anything effective enough to keep Kaeya from struggling.

Diluc swiftly held Kaeya’s hand. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, believe me, it’s going to be fine. Your pain is going to end. Believe me.”

That helped a lot, Barbara thanked by nodding her head. She could focus on a body moving less, finally putting her hands on his chest so her power could affect him directly. Diluc used a little bit of force to keep Kaeya pinned but made sure it didn’t hurt.

Deep down, Diluc hoped the pain would end soon. Because rather than feeling terrible for Kaeya, he also noticed how quickly he ran out of power. His bones ached, muscles protested, and breathing became a hard task. No matter how deep breaths he took, it didn’t feel enough.

And hearing Kaeya’s heartwrenching screams, Diluc felt his own knees going numb. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here. I’m here, big brother’s here.”

Kaeya only sobbed, and the nuns started to use the medicines. How quick and calming the medicines were would always keep surprising Kaeya.

Eventually, after struggling for almost half an hour, the medicines and tranquilizers showed full effect. His whole body got numb, no longer shivering and fighting for air. Kaeya just recently realized that his nose was bleeding, and how bad it got at some point when he struggled so much. Diluc was the one to wipe off the crimson liquid.

Kaeya kept holding Diluc’s hand. And Diluc held his.

•·················•·················•

𝘋𝘈𝘠 𝘚𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘕

After what happened yesterday, they decided to always use medication. They didn’t have to worry about the future side effects, or how damaging it could be for his brain, as he had hours to live at that point.

The medicines worked well, but combined with Kaeya’s condition, everything lessened his consciousness. It was a miracle that Kaeya could wake up that day, a miracle Diluc would be thankful for forever. He didn’t want Kaeya’s last memories to be the moments he shrieked in pain.

The only thing that made him look alive was his beating heart, easily lifting his chest as he had no healthy mass at that point.

So he just caressed Kaeya’s hair, he always liked that, didn’t he? And he saw how right he was when Kaeya smiled. He tried to touch Diluc’s hair back, so the older brother lowered his head.

Gently, he put his head on Kaeya’s chest and let him show all the affection he never deserved. His weak heartbeat whispered a thousand songs and promises from heaven. Diluc’s tense shoulders grew weaker and gravity grew stronger. He couldn’t even register colors anymore, associating it with the fact that Kaeya’s passing was going to be the end of him too.

When Kaeya, in the middle of all the pain he had on their way to Mondstadt, tried to wipe off the blood on Diluc’s cheek; Diluc realized that he never deserved Kaeya.

How ironic everything turned out to be, Diluc thought as his eyes filled with tears. It used to be Kaeya who believed he never deserved anything and he was to blame for everything. Now, Diluc had that role. It felt terrible, even though he had to go through this pain for a weak only.

Seven days, it was almost going to be full seven days. And his little Kaeya had to suffer for seven years.

“It should have been me,” Diluc whispered. Kaeya, due to his poor hearing, hardly heard anything. And even if he did, he would much rather imagine he heard wrong.

“If only I could, I'd make a deal with God,” he whispered again, holding Kaeya’s only hand tightly. With each passing second, the guilt feeling became harsher to handle. “And I’d get him to swap our places.”

That spark in his soul which burned brightly was nowhere to be seen. He wanted to be stuck at that moment, stuck in a place where it was only him, Kaeya, their father, and the mother they never got to know. One week never felt enough, it would never be enough, no matter how much Diluc tried to make it fun for the both of them. It would never be enough.

Maybe it was no longer just guilt alone that made him want to swap places.

Maybe he didn’t see any point in living if he couldn’t even protect his brother. Protecting Mondstadt, challenging the Fatui, dispelling the Abyss Order… Dreams far beyond his incapable reach. He couldn’t even protect a man, he couldn’t even treat his brother properly.

To spend the rest of his life knowing he’s the murderer of his own brother… Diluc was the one who caused everything to go wrong, just because he couldn’t act mature for once.

He didn’t know though, he couldn’t think anymore. His thoughts started to fly around and get dizzy just like his view. The only thing that kept his understanding of reality was Kaeya’s gentle hand. Kaeya caressed his short hair for fifteen minutes.

It felt both too long to be just fifteen minutes, and too short for Diluc to feel satisfied. His sense of time disappeared, and nothing made sense.

It felt nice though, Kaeya’s hand could almost touch his soul instead. He leaned more, hugging Kaeya at that point. This time, Diluc spoke a little louder. “Do I really deserve your forgiveness?”

Kaeya nodded. “Uh-huh.”

“Why?”

“Brother…”

Diluc’s weak body trembled. Kaeya couldn’t even form sentences anymore, but to hear the title he had always been so proud of was enough. At least he managed to be a good and responsible big brother in Kaeya’s eyes.

Still, he wished he could go with Kaeya. So he could be with him in heaven. With their father too. And with his mother, Diluc never knew anything about his mother but the stories his father told.

He would make Kaeya meet with her too. He would call her mother, maybe. That would help a lot. They could be a happy, complete family. Away from the Fatui, away from the Abyss Order, away from everyone who broke Kaeya’s heart.

“Yeah, that would be a very nice life.” Diluc thought.

Diluc started to dream about it. And the more he thought about it, the better he started to feel. The heavenly life started to appear in front of his very eyes, he could even imagine all the trees and flowers around them. “I wish I could come with you.”

Kaeya let out a sad voice. But Diluc ensured. “Don’t worry, I’m not thinking anything bad. Just… imagining how we would live in heaven.”

The gentle breeze provided him with inspiration and information beyond his understanding, yet he welcomed them all. Everything reached a point so calm and unaffected that he found himself in an endless plane of languor.

Maybe this was the mercy of the Anemo Archon.

“Just imagine how happy our father would be to see us,” he said. In the last moments of Kaeya’s life, he tried to comfort him. “I’m sure Father would hug us a lot. And I mean a lot.”

Kaeya giggled, or at least this was the sound his mangled body tried to make. His eyelids were closed. “Hugs…”

“Yeah, hugs. Oh, and we could finally meet our mom.”

“…our?”

“Yes, Father would always talk about how kind and protective she was. I’m sure she would love you a lot.”

Kaeya made a happy voice. His head slowly tilted. “Family…”

“Yes, family. And this time, I wouldn’t leave you alone.”

“Feeling… sleepy…” Kaeya murmured, trying to hug Diluc.

“Me too.”

Kaeya’s arm fell numb, but Diluc held it and put it on his shoulder. “I love you, Kaeya.”

“I love you, Diluc.”

Diluc rested his head on Kaeya again. “Goodbye Kae.”

“Goodbye Luc.”

With Kaeya’s silence, Diluc didn’t have the mental or physical power to let his sorrow out. Actually, he didn’t feel anything like that at all. The heavenly dream and how detailed everything started to get, how all of their memories shifted in his eyes masked the awful truth.

The awful truth that soon, he was going to be lying on his dead brother’s corpse. He couldn’t care about it, for some reason. It didn’t feel alien or unnatural, the notion of death itself felt like a blanket that could cover all of his problems.

The beautiful solitude that welcomed them, only them, to this indescribable serenity amazed Diluc. His aching bones relaxed, and so did his sore muscles. That emptiness inside him and how much his lungs hurt started to disappear.

The medicine’s sharp and sour smell turned into a sweet one, just like how the flowers he imagined would smell like. And some grapes too, after all, they were going to live somewhere full of grapes, and they would smell beautiful.

He didn’t know why everything he loved so much about life started to appear out of nowhere. Crepus's huge smiles and strong arms hug him and his brother. Adelinde’s scolding, but then later feeling bad for the boys and baking them pies. Elzer and how eager he would end up whenever Kaeya asked how economics and the wine industry worked.

How jealous Kaeya ended up when Diluc got a pet turtle, being afraid that Diluc would love it more than he loved Kaeya. The first day they met with Jean, and how long they were outside playing the same game for almost five hours. The first time they met with Barbara, how proud and confident Jean was after all the lessons she got from the professional big brother Diluc.

But out of all the things he experienced, all the things he could remember to its smallest detail, one of them that will never Diluc’s mind was a single night. One ordinary night they were just outside, stargazing.

Kaeya would never lower his guard, always ready to fight or run, and screaming at the smallest things that scared him. He didn’t want people to touch him, and his eye would fill with tears whenever someone got near him with a sharp object. In short, he trusted no one.

But that ordinary night suddenly changed when Kaeya hugged Diluc. He had never done that before, and that shocked the little boy a lot. But he hugged back, thinking about what happened, hoping Kaeya didn’t get scared of something.

Diluc, even to this day, remembered how beautiful Kaeya sounded. And how honest his words were. “I feel safe.”

And after a few minutes, when they were lying on the ground and Diluc was staring at the sky shocked, he felt Kaeya’s head resting on his arm.

The child who trusted no one fell asleep right next to him.

And now, it was Diluc who was about to fall asleep on Kaeya. How much he trusted him with his most vulnerable moments, always made Diluc proud. And he hoped that before Kaeya died, he managed to feel the same pride too.

Diluc closed his eyes, letting the melancholic thoughts get overwritten with good memories.

•·················•·················•

𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘌𝘕𝘋

“And the week ended, so did Sir Kaeya’s life.”

Barbara failed to keep her tears in their place. She had lots of things to do, and waiting for Jean to help her wouldn’t work. She knew that her big sister was already devastated, as she would never be late somewhere. She couldn’t even imagine the ruin Diluc become upon hearing the news, even though among all, Diluc knew this was going to happen the closest.

Waiting for Jean for a while near the entrance of the Cathedral, she saw the long blonde rushing her way there. Barbara nodded, slowly opening the door behind her and entering inside. She would catch up to her anyway.

A fine day it was supposed to be, a sunny day. A day they should have been walking around, giggling, eating something, and talking about everyday stuff. But instead, it was the day they lost a dear friend and a hardworking knight.

Despite being terrible with funerals, as she couldn’t stop sobbing for a minute, she asked for full responsibility for Kaeya’s funeral. She was to handle everything with Jean and Diluc. The last thing she could do for her childhood friend.

She opened the door and entered inside, taking a sorrowful breath to prepare herself. Seeing Diluc sleeping on Kaeya’s dead body hurt her heart. How was she going to tell Diluc to wake up? That his brother passed away. And he had to accept the awful truth.

Not to Barbara’s surprise, she was sobbing already, as if she didn’t cry enough that night. She cried so violently that she couldn’t even sleep, she spent her night begging Lord Barbatos for a sudden turn of events. For his blessing to grace one more child of Mondstadt. Jean couldn’t even make it there on time because she had to finish all the tasks she had.

“Master Diluc,” Barbara called, not even attempting to mask her sorrowful voice anymore. “Please wake up, Master Diluc.”

She put her hand on Kaeya’s neck and felt no pulse. Barbara shivered. “Master Diluc, please. I am sorry to tell you this… but…”

Barbara raised her head to look at Kaeya’s dead Vision. “Kaeya is…”

And she saw Diluc’s colorless Vision, resting right next to Kaeya’s.

The brothers were lying dead, in front of Barbara’s eyes.

•·················•·················•

When a loud, terrified scream filled the entire Cathedral, Jean’s heart ached with fear. She entered the grand entrance and saw many nuns gathering in front of the room where Kaeya was.

Jean rushed there, but before she could enter inside and confirm that it was just Barbara’s sadness, she saw her little sister running with great shock on her face.

She crushed Jean and the older sister held her tight. “Barbara, what’s wrong?”

Rosaria, even though she tried her best to hide her tears and look formal, couldn’t hold back her sob. “Kaeya is… gone. Isn’t he?”

Barbara screamed. “Master Diluc is dead too!”

“I don’t know what happened, I have no idea what caused this, but his Vision is colorless! He has no pulse too— he… He died!”

And with that, Jean learned that she lost both of her childhood friends.

Rosaria cursed and went inside, searching for the dead Visions, praying to Barbatos that it wasn’t true. But her voice got higher and more vulnerable, proving that Barbara was right. Even she couldn't stand unaffected in front of such a tragedy, tears of horror and despair rushing down.

They were gone.

And for Jean, she stood there, unable to move. As Barbara cried in her embrace, Jean’s shocked expression was stuck. And the moment she tried to move, attempting to take a step back and think of what she just heard, she lost her balance. And the rest was going to be a mystery, as her eyes closed on their own when the nuns tried to catch her.

They were gone.

They were gone.

They were gone.

•·················•·················•

𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘋𝘈𝘠 𝘈𝘍𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘍𝘜𝘕𝘌𝘙𝘈𝘓

Almost everyone believed that the Uncrowned King of Mondstadt, Diluc Ragnvindr, committed suicide after the terrible loss. And even though Diluc had no intention to do that, how many times he neglected his own well-being led him to his demise.

Dehydration, it said, on the document formalizing his passing.

The strength he got from his Vision kept his body functioning, but the moment he ran out of his vital needs, his body just collapsed. And even the strong Vision couldn’t save him.

Adelinde, just like how she blamed herself for everything that happened to Kaeya, blamed herself for Diluc’s death too. Now, both of them were gone, all because of the stupid mistakes she made. She just lost both children she saw as her sons, and she could do nothing but sit there, and help Elzer plan what they were going to do with Dawn Winery.

The business had no time for lament, and Elzer knew better than anyone that Diluc treasured Dawn Winery because he wanted to make Crepus proud. That his father still had respect, and people knew how successful his job was. Now, it was Elzer and Adelinde’s duty to keep that dream continuing.

Adelinde found herself looking at the drawings Kaeya and Diluc made for her, apologizing for all the troubles they caused every now and then. For almost every vase they broke, they wrote apology letters for her.

The drawings of Adelinde, all the roses around because they loved how much she loved roses, and how grateful they were for each thing Adelinde did. The more they grew up, the better their drawings got. Diluc was the best when it came to environmental drawing, and Kaeya always surprised her with how well he could draw people.

As she was about to start crying again, Elzer held the papers and carefully pulled them. “Adel, don’t do this to yourself, please.”

“But what should I do else? What use I have rather than remembering how much of a sinful soul I am?” she sobbed.

“Adelinde, we talked about this,” Elzer tried to hold back his tears, kneeling in front of her and wiping her tears. “You did nothing wrong. You had no idea things could have led to all of this, you are not the one to blame.”

“But… But I—”

“You did nothing but give them good memories. Don’t you remember how happy Kaeya was when you said you could add emetic poison to the guests’ teas? Or how confident he was to talk with people just because you said you would stay with him too?” The man had no idea where he got the inspiration and courage to speak that well, as he was crying in the bathroom minutes ago, telling everyone that he just had to go.

“I heard you hundreds of times, Adelinde, reminding Master Diluc that he had to eat or drink something. He always said later or Master Kaeya needed our attention more.”

Adelinde sobbed.

“Look, Adel, I know this is hard, I’m hardly keeping myself sane,” he started. “But Master Diluc and Master Kaeya would never want us to be like this. They would never want to see us giving up on life. And Master Crepus… if he could, he would tell us that we did our part.”

“If you still believe that you failed, however,” Elzer stood up, wiping his tears. “You should collect yourself. Because I can’t handle everything on my own, and Master Diluc trusted us both. We should preserve the legacy of Ragnvindrs.”

The head housemaid nodded. “You are right.”

She stood up, collecting all the drawings and putting them in the drawer with great care. She treated them as masterpieces, nothing could replace them and change their worth. Her sweet memories and yearning for the past.

“Can we visit them again when we are done?” Adelinde asked, following Elzer to the office formerly used by Diluc. Elzer nodded.

“I want to go there too, actually,” it has been roughly a full day since the ceremony, and they still wanted to be there. “Let’s hurry up then, shall we?”

The funeral was way bigger than both of them expected, almost the entire Mondstadt joined. Even some Abyss Mages were there to bid their respect. They said that it was an honor to be Diluc’s enemy and fight with such a respectful antagonist, and brought flowers called Inteyvats for Kaeya.

Everyone knew that their lives were never going to be the same, now only holding onto the memories they made with Kaeya and Diluc, everyone was afraid of forgetting them. Forgetting their voice, forgetting their amazing brotherhood, and forgetting how much they loved Mondstadt.

But one day, everything was going to be lost in time, just like their bodies lost in the underground, with their father’s and mother’s graves. The wind was to carry their souls to the most beautiful part of heaven, where their parents waited. The Anemo Archon’s greatest act of mercy for the brothers was to take them away at the same time. As their documents claimed, they lost their lives at the exact same second.

They were gone, and this was the end of a burning memory.

Chapter Text

𝘋𝘈𝘠 𝘚𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘕

After what happened yesterday, they decided to always use medication. They didn’t have to worry about the future side effects, or how damaging it could be for his brain, as he had hours to live at that point.

The medicines worked well, but combined with Kaeya’s condition, everything lessened his consciousness. It was a miracle that Kaeya could wake up that day, a miracle Diluc would be thankful for forever. He didn’t want Kaeya’s last memories to be the moments he shrieked in pain.

The only thing that made him look alive was his beating heart, easily lifting his chest as he had no healthy mass at that point.

So he just caressed Kaeya’s hair, he always liked that, didn’t he? And he saw how right he was when Kaeya smiled. He tried to touch Diluc’s hair back, so the older brother lowered his head.

Gently, he put his head on Kaeya’s chest and let him show all the affection he never deserved. His weak heartbeat whispered a thousand songs and promises from heaven. Diluc’s tense shoulders grew weaker and gravity grew stronger. He couldn’t even register colors anymore, associating it with the fact that Kaeya’s passing was going to be the end of him too.

When Kaeya, in the middle of all the pain he had on their way to Mondstadt, tried to wipe off the blood on Diluc’s cheek; Diluc realized that he never deserved Kaeya.

How ironic everything turned out to be, Diluc thought as his eyes filled with tears. It used to be Kaeya who believed he never deserved anything and he was to blame for everything. Now, Diluc had that role. It felt terrible, even though he had to go through this pain for a weak only.

Seven days, it was almost going to be full seven days. And his little Kaeya had to suffer for seven years.

“It should have been me,” Diluc whispered. Kaeya, due to his poor hearing, hardly heard anything. And even if he did, he would much rather imagine he heard wrong.

“If only I could, I'd make a deal with God,” he whispered again, holding Kaeya’s only hand tightly. With each passing second, the guilt feeling became harsher to handle. “And I’d get him to swap our places.”

That spark in his soul which burned brightly was nowhere to be seen. He wanted to be stuck at that moment, stuck in a place where it was only him, Kaeya, their father, and the mother they never got to know. One week never felt enough, it would never be enough, no matter how much Diluc tried to make it fun for the both of them. It would never be enough.

Maybe it was no longer just guilt alone that made him want to swap places.

Maybe he didn’t see any point in living if he couldn’t even protect his brother. Protecting Mondstadt, challenging the Fatui, dispelling the Abyss Order… Dreams far beyond his incapable reach. He couldn’t even protect a man, he couldn’t even treat his brother properly.

To spend the rest of his life knowing he’s the murderer of his own brother… Diluc was the one who caused everything to go wrong, just because he couldn’t act mature for once.

He didn’t know though, he couldn’t think anymore. His thoughts started to fly around and get dizzy just like his view. The only thing that kept his understanding of reality was Kaeya’s gentle hand. Kaeya caressed his short hair for fifteen minutes.

It felt both too long to be just fifteen minutes, and too short for Diluc to feel satisfied. His sense of time disappeared, and nothing made sense.

It felt nice though, Kaeya’s hand could almost touch his soul instead. He leaned more, hugging Kaeya at that point. This time, Diluc spoke a little louder. “Do I really deserve your forgiveness?”

Kaeya nodded. “Uh-huh.”

“Why?”

“Brother…”

Diluc’s weak body trembled. Kaeya couldn’t even form sentences anymore, but to hear the title he had always been so proud of was enough. At least he managed to be a good and responsible big brother in Kaeya’s eyes.

Still, he wished he could save Kaeya. So he could be with him in a future worth living. Adelinde would be there, too, watching the two brave men facing the world just like how they dreamed. But contrary to their free spirit and unbendable pride, they would still be the docile boys of Adelinde. To disrespect her was a sin, daring to harm her would bring the punishment of execution. She deserved all the flowers and drawings in the world.

What else would they do if they got to live together longer? Diluc knew that the technology in Fontaine was beyond anything they had ever seen in Mondstadt. Fontaine even had to guard robots stronger than humans, their artificial intelligence alone deserved compliments worth ten books. Maybe doctors and engineers from Fontaine could figure out a way to combine biology with machinery. They would give Kaeya a new arm and a leg. Kaeya has always been a versatile and enthusiastic man, he would gladly learn how to use his new body parts, and make the most out of them. A semi-machine knight in the Knights of Favonius!

“Yeah, that would be a very nice life.” Diluc thought.

Diluc started to dream about it. And the more he thought about it, the better he started to feel.

The lively future started to appear in front of his very eyes, he could even imagine all the trees and flowers around them. Why there were trees and flowers? Because… Diluc and Kaeya were on an expedition! The Darknight Hero and the Mecha-Captain, out there to save the world from the Abyss Order and the Fatui!

Mechaptain, perhaps? He would definitely call Kaeya that, in that future they could never live.

“I wish I could save you.”

Kaeya let out a sad voice. But Diluc ensured. “Don’t worry, I think I made peace with the truth, too. I am just… relieved that you no longer have to suffer.”

The gentle breeze provided him with inspiration and information beyond his understanding, yet he welcomed them all. Everything reached a point so calm and unaffected that he found himself in an endless plane of opportunities.

Maybe this was the grace of the Anemo Archon.

“You know what? If things were different, if the poison didn’t take you away from me,” he started. In the last moments of Kaeya’s life, he encouraged him to dream. “I would put my entire wealth on the table and tell… Tell them to turn you into the strongest knight ever..!”

Kaeya giggled, or at least this was the sound his mangled body tried to make. His eyelids were closed. “Strongest…”

“Yeah, strongest. Oh, and we could go on adventures together.”

“…we?”

“Yes, there is just so much to see outside Mondstadt, have my word, although none of them compete with the beauty of our motherland. I am sure you would love the auroras in Snezhnaya. And the ruins in Liyue hold many untold stories, no wonder the nation is filled with treasure hoarders…”

Kaeya made a happy voice. His head slowly tilted. “Aurora…”

“Yes, aurora. And this time, we would watch it together.”

“Feeling… sleepy…” Kaeya murmured, trying to hug Diluc.

“Me too.”

Kaeya’s arm fell numb, but Diluc held it and put it on his shoulder. “I love you, Kaeya.”

“I love you, Diluc.”

Diluc rested his head on Kaeya again. “Goodbye Kae.”

“Goodbye Luc.”

With Kaeya’s silence, Diluc didn’t have the mental or physical power to let his sorrow out. Actually, he didn’t feel anything like that at all. The lively dream of their impossible future and how detailed everything started to get, how all of their future journeys shifted in his eyes masked the awful truth.

The awful truth that soon, he was going to be lying on his dead brother’s corpse. He couldn’t care about it, for some reason. It didn’t feel alien or unnatural, the notion of death itself felt like a conspiracy theory far away from their immortal loyalty to Mondstadt.

The beautiful respite that welcomed them, only them, to this indescribable eudaimonia amazed Diluc. His aching bones relaxed, and so did his sore muscles. That emptiness inside him and how much his lungs hurt started to disappear.

Somehow, he could sense the presence of another person in the room, someone who could deny the gory truth of death too, at least for a while. His deathless vessel stood before the two weak brothers, slowly succumbing into oblivion.

The medicine’s sharp and sour smell turned into a sweet one, just like how the flowers he imagined would smell like. And some grapes too, after all, they were going to live in Dawn Winery. Oh, and Diluc had to find a way and buy the mansion back. There was so much to do in the unreachable future!

He didn’t know why everything he would love to experience in the future started to appear out of thin air. He could feel the breeze of the wind caressing his face with his brother by his side. He could smell Adelinde’s masterful cooking and imagine her motherly smile to the smallest detail. In one moment, he was chasing Jean around for overworking again. In another one, Kaeya was running after Diluc with a claymore, carrying it as if it weighed nothing thanks to his mechanic arm. But why did he chase Diluc with a claymore? Now, that was yet another question akin to why Diluc had buckets of strawberry yogurt at the winery, it wasn’t meant to have an answer.

Kaeya would get his cavalry one day, maybe in the next century or so if Varka felt generous enough. They could teach Bennett and Razor how to fight better, too. Diluc would even show Kaeya all of his tactics, how he manages to jump from roof to roof and never let out any voice.

But out of all the things he imagined, all the things he could make up to its smallest detail, one of them shone so vividly that he swore he could see it with his eyes. Was it even a dream? How could a fantasy feel so real?

As Diluc's consciousness wavered between reality and fantasy, a gentle breeze swept through the room, carrying with it the sweet scent of dandelions and freedom. There, standing before him with an ethereal presence, was Venti, the Anemo Archon.

Venti's form seemed to shimmer, his teal hair swaying softly as if caught in an invisible wind. His emerald eyes, filled with ancient wisdom and youthful mischief, gazed upon the brothers with compassion. The bard's usual carefree smile was replaced by a look of serene understanding, acknowledging the gravity of the moment.

The Anemo Archon's presence brought with it a profound sense of peace. The weight of guilt and sorrow that had been crushing Diluc began to lift, replaced by a gentle acceptance. He couldn’t register what was going on, excluding all that, he couldn’t even move anymore. It was like a dream, one that he had full consciousness yet had no control over.

“All I had to save was one brother,” he whispered. After shaking his head left and right, he continued. “Now, I have to take care of his big brother, too.”

“Why..?”

“You haven’t taken care of yourself at all, Diluc. Haven’t you realized your body doesn’t obey your commands anymore?”

“Isn’t it because I am dreaming?”

“You are dying, my child. Dehydration will claim your life minutes later.”

“What?” Diluc noticed only after Venti pointed it out, he gasped as if he saw the greater picture and understood the nature of the universe itself. Of all the things he could die from, his own neglect was to claim his life and he wasn’t even aware of it.

“It is forbidden for the divine to interfere with mortality.” The Anemo Archon raised his blessed hands, commanding the wind to obey and the passage of time to take a break. “But the Archon of Freedom is no man to obey obligations.”

“My young warriors, there is still so much for both of you to see and achieve. There are regrets to take care of, broken hearts to fix, and worried minds to ease. Mondstadt, the City of Freedom, wants her free-spirited children to try again. The Anemo Archon wants to free his children, let them thrive in the life that is rightfully theirs.”

“Among all responsibilities and ambitions, my only wish and order is that you two will live a worth deserving a thousand ballads.”

“Sleep, my children, tomorrow is another day.”

•·················•·················•

𝘋𝘈𝘠 𝘌𝘐𝘎𝘏𝘛

He opened his eyes to another day. Everything was the same and not the same at the same time, the presence and absence of two different things lingered in his mind yet no words that could describe them. Maybe a song would do the trick, or a drawing, or even a novel rewritten to embrace a new end. Who could decide?

One of the first things to disturb Kaeya was the dryness in his mouth. Recalling his last time, he knew there was no way he could move. But his mind felt clearer, the cursed poison traveled in his veins but it didn’t burn that much anymore. The painkillers numbed him, he couldn't deny that, but the sunrays seemed just a little more brighter that day. The regrets of the past and the lament of the unlived future grew thin as he started looking around.

Just as he wanted, he found Diluc. But it seemed that it was Diluc’s turn to shock Kaeya. Because while expected to see his brother up on his feet and all-powerful, he saw him lying on another bed next to him. Based on the redhead’s mischievous grin, he didn’t have a good explanation to make. Now that Kaeya studied him a little better, he noticed things he couldn’t see before.

As Kaeya's gaze lingered over Diluc's weakened form, a cold unease crept through his body, gnawing at his core. Even in his dazed state, his sharp eye for detail could not miss the signs of Diluc’s condition. The proud, unshakable man he had known now appeared a fragile shell of himself. Though Kaeya's throat felt raw and his voice was barely more than a rasp, he struggled to form words, his concern overriding his pain.

"What... happened to you?" he murmured, his voice fractured, trembling with disbelief.

Beside Diluc's bed, the clutter of medical supplies was unsettling. Vials of strange medicines and various syrups lined the end table, their bitter scents mingling with the stagnant air. A thin tube connected to Diluc’s arm traced its way to a small bottle of clear fluid—an IV, one of Liyue’s cutting-edge inventions, crafted by their renowned yet enigmatic pharmacist. The sight was unnerving to Kaeya; the Diluc he remembered would have scoffed at the idea of needing such things. Yet here he lay, his body a mere shadow of its former self, no longer the broad-shouldered, imposing figure Kaeya once admired.

Diluc's skin, pale and sickly, seemed to drain the warmth from the room. His hair, usually a fiery cascade of crimson, now hung limp and unkempt, as if it had lost its luster along with its owner’s vitality. Dark circles marred the skin under his eyes, their deep shadows betraying just how long he had been deprived of restful sleep. His hands, once so steady and strong, now quivered faintly on the thin blanket, hinting at the toll his condition had taken.

"I am not sure you would like to hear it," Diluc responded, his voice hoarse and quiet, as if even speaking had become too much of a burden. He turned his head slightly but kept his gaze fixed on the wall, his expression unreadable beneath the weight of exhaustion.

"Brother..." Kaeya's words caught in his throat, and a sharp cough tore through him. His lungs burned with the effort, and pain rippled through his chest. It was violent, but not as violent as the fear welling up within him. He remembered the last time he had blacked out, how he had been too weak to even cough. The memory was distant, yet vivid. "...what happened?"

Diluc remained still for a long moment. Kaeya could see the tension in his posture, a stubbornness that refused to let him show his vulnerability fully. Finally, Diluc sighed, and with a heavy heart, he spoke.

"Promise you won't get mad."

Kaeya's breath caught, a spark of irritation flashing through him before he could even process the words. The sense of dread in his bones deepened, each second stretching painfully long. He could feel the anger already stirring, though he didn't even know why. His brow furrowed in frustration.

"Diluc."

Another pause. Another sigh. This time, Diluc closed his eyes briefly, as if preparing himself for Kaeya's inevitable reaction. His voice, when it came, was soft, almost sheepish.

"I forgot to drink water," he confessed, his words slow and careful, as though ashamed of their simplicity. "I almost died."

Kaeya’s mouth fell open slightly, disbelief striking him like a physical blow. He stared at Diluc’s back, watching the way his older brother turned toward the wall, clearly too embarrassed to face him. The absurdity of the situation nearly made Kaeya laugh—if only it didn’t make him want to scream. His breath was shaky, his frustration palpable, as a sharp retort escaped him.

"The moment someone... comes here..." Kaeya's voice faltered with his ragged breaths, but he forced the words through clenched teeth. "I will... ask them... to throw this pillow at... you, Diluc."

A strained silence filled the space between them, the weight of unspoken concern and brotherly affection settling heavily. Even in his weakened state, Kaeya couldn't help but feel the ridiculousness of it all.

“I deserve it.”

“You… you idiot!”

“Tell me anything you want, I am the happiest man alive.” Diluc shrugged, rolling around in his bed. “Throw all the pillows you can find. I don’t care.”

Kaeya reached for his pillow, albeit soft and light it was, he barely had enough strength to straighten his back and grab it. He couldn’t pull it, let alone aim at Diluc and throw it at his stupid face. What was wrong with him?

“I still don’t care,” the redhead replied. “You can never disturb my peace.”

“Why?”

“Do you know what day today is?”

“The day… I… murder you… with… pillows!” Kaeya’s coughs grew louder as he got even angrier. It was already such a hassle to get mad, and to feel such a negative emotion with that numb brain was another type of torture. “What do… you mean you— cough cough! Forgot… to drink… water..?!”

“Today is the eighth day,” he said as he leaned onto the end table. He didn’t even bother to sit and pour the water properly, looking at the jug and considering pouring all the water into his mouth. “And you are… alive.”

“So?”

“Your illness was supposed to end your life yesterday.” He raised the jug and turned it upside down. Kaeya tried yelling at him but his vocal cords didn’t work, letting out a weak whimper instead. But turns out, he didn’t have to yell at him at all as the jug barely had a droplet or two. “But you survived the hardest part. Lord Barbatos blessed both of us and we lived.”

“Oh...”

“What happened to your swagger, hm?” Diluc teased. Kaeya wished he still had his other arm, maybe with two hands he could beat Diluc properly. Fury sent shivers throughout his body, so maddened by his brother’s recklessness that he couldn’t even register the fact that he survived.

Barbara entered the room, her usual air of calm and cheerfulness replaced by weariness. Her steps were slow, and the weight of exhaustion was evident in her sagging posture. As she came into view, Diluc and Kaeya both turned their heads toward her, Kaeya's frustration simmering just beneath the surface, while Diluc appeared strangely unbothered, his expression neutral despite the chaos of his situation.

Barbara’s face was a mirror of fatigue, her once bright and hopeful eyes now framed by dark circles. She blinked at the two brothers, as if unsure whether to laugh or cry at the strange scene unfolding before her.

"What were you doing, Barbara?" Diluc asked, his voice steady but soft, pointing at the heavy bags under her eyes.

"I was praying all night that Lord Barbatos would save Sir Kaeya," she answered, her voice low and drained, the kind of exhaustion that only a long night of worry could produce. "If only I had known what was going on with you, I would have prayed for you, too, Master Diluc."

"Praying for my health? How thoughtful of you, Barbara," he remarked, his tone carrying an edge of sarcasm, though not unkind.

Kaeya, however, wasn’t about to let his brother’s flippant attitude slide. With labored breaths, he tried to push himself up slightly on the bed, his limbs protesting every movement. "She was... going to pray... that you'd get yourself a... brain..!" His voice, though raspy and strained, still held its characteristic wit. He gathered what little strength he could muster, gripping the pillow beside him with a trembling hand. Summoning all the effort he had, he attempted to hurl it at Diluc, but his exhausted body betrayed him. The pillow barely made it halfway across the room before dropping unceremoniously to the floor.

"Don’t... laugh...!" Kaeya growled through gritted teeth, though the absurdity of the moment made his frustration all the more apparent. His anger was laced with an odd affection, as if the act of throwing the pillow was more an attempt at reconnecting with his brother than anything else.

Diluc, however, couldn’t resist. A faint chuckle slipped through his lips, a rare sound in the tension-filled room. "You always referred to yourself as the calm and laid-back one, yet this doesn't look like the case anymore, does it?"

Kaeya glared at him, the fire in his eyes rekindling despite his weakened state. He turned to Barbara, desperation in his voice. "Barbara... please throw... that pillow on Diluc's... face!"

Barbara, who had been quietly watching the exchange with wide, tired eyes, hesitated for a brief moment. Her gaze flicked between the two brothers, caught between their sibling rivalry and her own exhaustion.

"She would never do that, Kae. Don’t try getting her into your jo—" Diluc’s words were cut off as a pillow suddenly collided with his face, the soft thud followed by a stunned silence.

Barbara stood there, her hands still raised from the throw, her expression momentarily blank as if she couldn't quite believe what she'd just done. Kaeya stared at her in disbelief before a weak, raspy laugh escaped him, his eyes lighting up for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Even in his state of exhaustion, the satisfaction of seeing the pillow land on Diluc’s face was priceless.

As the laughter faded into the stillness of the room, the weight of exhaustion slowly returned, settling like a heavy fog over the three of them. Kaeya's eyelids drooped, the brief spark of energy from the playful exchange now extinguished, leaving only the deep fatigue that had plagued him for days. He let out a quiet sigh, sinking back into the bed, his body surrendering to the pull of sleep.

Barbara, noticing the shift in the atmosphere, stepped forward and gently retrieved the fallen pillow from Diluc's lap. Her hands moved with the practiced grace of a healer, tucking the pillow back beneath Kaeya’s head. "You both need rest," she spoke softly. "I know there's much left to say... but there will be time for that later. For now, just... rest. And! And don’t forget to drink water! Never!"

Diluc, still holding the pillow Barbara had thrown at him, turned his gaze toward his brother. The faint smile that had lingered on his face was gone now, replaced by a look of quiet contemplation. Despite the lighthearted banter from earlier, the gravity of the situation had not escaped him. Kaeya had come dangerously close to the edge, and Diluc himself was not much better off.

Kaeya shifted slightly, his eyes half-open, struggling to stay awake even as his body demanded rest. "Don't... think this lets you off the hook, Diluc," he muttered weakly, his voice barely audible but the essence of humor was undeniable. "We’re not… done."

Diluc’s lips twitched into a small, tired smile. "I know.”

Barbara glanced between the two brothers, her expression softening. She could feel the unspoken words hanging in the air—the things they had left unsaid for so long, the weight of years spent in silence. Yet now wasn’t the time to confront those feelings. Healing, both physical and emotional, would take time. She came there upon hearing their voices, and since the “battle” was settled for now, she could go back to the pharmacy room and gather the medicine Kaeya needed.

As the door closed softly behind her, the room fell into a deep, quiet stillness. For the first time in what felt like ages, Diluc allowed himself a moment of peace. The road ahead was uncertain, full of questions and unfinished business, but for now, this fleeting calm was enough. He still had an archon to worship and give wine as much as he desired. And he had to find a way and turn his dreams of Mechaptain into reality.

He closed his eyes, letting the quiet envelop him, and for the first time in a long while, Diluc allowed himself to rest.

Then, Kaeya screamed, even his vocal cords obeyed him this time.

“Did I... survive?!”

"You just realized that?"

"I would have... realized it sooner... if only... a certain... brother of m-cough! mine wasn't about... to... die out of... thirst!"