Chapter Text
Murdoc had shown up on Stu’s doorstep unexpectedly that night bearing two wine bottles and a twelve pack. There wasn’t an invitation, but then again there never was with Murdoc. Somehow even after each band member had all found their own place and life began to slip into a schedule, Murdoc still found ways of surprising him.
The singer had moved out of Kong a little over a year ago, and Stu and Murdoc in particular had begun dating the year prior after many years of an on and off flirtation that had made their former drummer Russell often make the off comment to “just get it over with and smash so we can all suffer less.”
Since their official break up of Gorillaz Stu had made the personal decision to move to a small studio apartment in the heart of London. It wasn’t anything special and far from the sparkling luxury that Murdoc now claimed to live in, though when Stu peeked through his window he could see clear as day that Murdoc was still living out of his Winnebago.
Most people might assume that with the enormous amounts of money the band members had acquired over there many years of staggering fame that they would have found better places to live in, however there was something in the familiarity of closeness that Stu found comforting and he didn’t think he could stomach a giant house with endless marble and glass.
Another thing that had occurred after the band broke up was the way Murdoc and Stu’s relationship changed. When they first “got together” (though it felt like they just banged on occasion to Stu), they had spent many hours trying to make the normal “coupley” stuff work. Stu had thought they were doing quite well to be honest, so when he told the group that he was moving he offered the ex-bassist a space in his bed. To Stu’s utter and complete surprise, Murdoc had refused his offer.
They had never discussed it apart from that day Stu offered. And yet…. after Stu had moved into his new place, Murdoc visited him every week.
Actually that was an understatement. Murdoc visited him three times a week, always with booze and always uninvited. Tonight was no different.
Murdoc moved with ease through Stu’s apartment. By this point the ex-bassist knew his place off by heart, and he wasted no time storing his beer in Stu’s mini fridge.
“Get us a couple of glasses, eh Stu?” Murdoc uncorked one of the wine bottles. “We gotta celebrate tonight!”
“What are we celebrating again?” Stu asked, pulling out the glasses from his beaten old cupboard. “You always seem to be celebrating something…”
Stu made his way over to Murdoc who now was lazily draped across Stu’s couch, tongue lolling out of his mouth, a strange habit that Murdoc never tried to change, it was just one of the many things that made the man before him so….himself.
“Ah, don't you remember? Two years Stuey!” Murdoc took the glasses from Stu and poured them each an unhealthy amount. Stu sat down beside the ex-bassist, and took one of the offered glasses.
“Two….years?” He asked awkwardly, had it really been that long?
Murdoc nodded vigorously and clinked his glass against Stu’s.
“Two years of us! Doing… whatever it is that couples do!” Murdoc laughed.
“My memory is shit Mudz I didn’t even realize it’s been that long!” Stu smiled along with him.
Murdoc took a large gulp of his wine. “Better believe it Bluebird!”
Stu drank with him.
“Now let’s get absolutely sloshed tonight Stu!” Murdoc cheered. “Throw on a record… dance into the night…. Or whatever it is that teenagers do at parties.”
Stu laughed.
“We are hardly young and spry anymore Mudz-”
“That never stopped you! I saw you dancing with Noodle… wassit? 2019? Anyways doesn’t matter, point is you were a spectacular dancer.”
Stu flushed, and took another drink of his wine. He didn’t think so, he was all limbs and no grace on the dance floor. He hardly remembered why he decided to dance that night… It had been tense all over.. he needed that release.
Stu looked up from his glass and found the space across from him empty. Murdoc had stood up from the couch, and un gracefully was swaying his hips side to side along to the beat of Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Having noticed he was being watched, Murdoc dramatically turned his head over his shoulder to meet eye contact with Stu.
“Like what you see, pretty boy?” Murdoc flirted.
Stu smiled.
Murdoc held out a hand, “Get over here Stu… your killin’ the mood and it’ll be no fun if I can’t dance with ya.”
Stu sighed and allowed himself to be pulled from the couch by the shorter man and twirled into the center of Stu’s living room.
The next two hours passed by in a blur, by the time the world had stopped spinning Stu wasn’t sure how many glasses they had had. Murdoc was chest laughing at his own jokes again, face completely flushed and hair messy, he smelled.. but he was also mesmerizing. In the dim light Murdoc was lit up and for the first time Stu could honestly say that Murdoc seemed… happy. A strange warm feeling bloomed in Stu’s chest, something he couldn’t pinpoint. Something good.
“Murdoc, Murdoc…” Stu reached clumsily for the ex-bassist.
“Yeah, Dents?” Murdoc turned his head towards Stu.
Stu tried to reach for one of Murdoc’s hands, but missed completely and instead his hand landed on top of Murdoc’s stomach.
The edges of Stu’s vision blurred. He tried to focus. He fisted Murdoc’s shirt in an attempt to stabilize himself.
“Woah, feeling handsy there 2D?” Murdoc flirted.
Stu exhaled.
“Funny.” He replied.
“Well? Are you?” Murdoc raised an eyebrow.
“Murdoc, I wanna ask you something.” Stu looked up at Murdoc and suddenly became aware of just how close the ex-bassists face was to him.
Stu flushed but remained where he was.
“I’m gay… Murdoc…”
Murdoc laughed out loud. “We all knew that Stu… you weren’t fooling anyone when you dated Paula.”
Stu let out a huffed reply. “And your gay…”
Murdoc smiled, exhaling and crossing his arms over his chest.
“Bi, but thank you for noticing after what the 20th time we’ve hooked up?”
Stu grinned.
“It’s legal right??” A revelation came over Stu… something about the bliss he felt during these nights. He didn’t want them to end.. he didn’t want to say goodnight to Murdoc when he left only to watch him close his apartment door and drive away in his Winnebago.. he wanted Murdoc next to him always. Call it obsession, call it fascination, call it love…But Stu didn’t want Murdoc to leave again.
“What’s legal? Your not makin’ much sense bluebird.”
“Murdoc…Murdoc…” He had to ask the ex-bassist.
“Yeah luv?”
Stu was so drunk he didn’t notice Murdoc’s change of tone, from mildly sarcastic to something more tender.
“Murdoc… marry me…” Stu whispered, breathless. It was more a statement than a question and Stu wondered if the ex-bassist even heard him. However, he must have because he was met with no sarcastic retort from Murdoc.
Stu found himself trailing his hands up past Murdoc’s chest until they grazed his jaw, cupping his face. Stu tilted the man’s face to look at him. They were unfocused and rather slack, yet they were shining, brimming with tears.
“Marry me, Murdoc” Stu repeated, more direct this time.
Murdoc was still silent, strange for him, he never usually shut up.
Stu searched his face for any change, any reaction that might give him an answer to this question. His heartbeat was loud in his ears, and his lip trembled.
“Damnit Mudz! Say something!”
Murdoc blinked, and opened his lips like he was about to say something. He paused again, and just when Stu thought he would go silent again Murdoc lunged across the couch and kissed him.
Murdoc’s kisses were sloppy, alcohol infused and lacked direction in every sense of the word. Yet Stu was intoxicated by them, he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around the smaller bodied man, holding him close. Murdoc’s hands found their way under Stu’s shirt revealing pale skin.
The kisses migrated to Stu’s neck, playfully nipping and nuzzling as he went. Stu let out a pleased sigh. He raised his hands until they tangled in Murdoc’s hair.
“Mudz… ya still haven’ answered me.”
Murdoc breathed hotly into Stu’s neck.
“Thought I answered that one pretty clearly, luv”
Stu tilted his head to the side.
“No… I don't think you did.”
Stu could feel Murdoc’s exasperated sigh, he could tell he was frustrated.
Murdoc pushed himself up, his hands lay either side of Stu’s face.
“I threw myself at you.. I'm kissing you.. I want you Stuart…” Murdoc made a teethy grin.
Stu was still puzzled, “That doesn’t answer my question… that's just getting randy.”
Murdoc rolled his eyes. “Do I need to spell it out for you?”
Stu pursed his lips. “Maybe.”
The ex-bassist groaned.
Stuart lifted his eyes so they locked with Murdoc’s.
“Well?” Stuart asked. He waited.
“Yes! It’s a Yes, Stuart!” Murdoc nearly yelled it.
Stu broke into a wide grin.
“Of course it’s a yes… It would have been a yes when you asked me to move in with you.”
Murdoc moved off of Stu a bit, leaning into the cushions on the other end of the couch.
“So why wasn’t it?” Stu prodded.
“Because I was scared!” Murdoc exclaimed at the ceiling.
Stu raised an eyebrow. “It’s only me, Mudz.”
Murdoc glared at Stu.
“And that's what terrified me! It was you! I mean you were the longest… well pretty much anything I’ve had! And I-” Murdoc’s voice faltered. “I didn’t want to mess it up with you…. So I just..” Murdoc picked at a loose thread. “Left.”
Stu sat silently listening to all Murdoc had to say. When he was sure that Murdoc was finished, he slowly scooted his way closer to the satanist. “You don’t have to be afraid of this Mudz” Stu reached across the space between them, capturing Murdoc’s hands and bringing them to his lips, kissing them softly.
“Whatever happens now… No matter what… I’ll always want you Murdoc. I’ll always want there to be an us. No matter what form that takes.”
Stu’s words must have shifted something in Murdoc because the next thing he knew he was being hugged. Messy dark brown hair was smeared across his chest and he could feel Murdoc’s tremor through his own body.
Stu wrapped his arms tightly around Murdoc, resting his head atop the ex-bassist’s.
“Thank you.” Came Murdoc’s reply after a time.
Stu smiled.
They lay there like that, arms snugly around eachother, eventually he could hear soft snoring noises coming from the man in his arms.
Stu glanced at the clock, it was four in the morning. Stu wanted nothing more then to drift off with Murdoc on the couch, but he knew that he would hate himself in the morning if he didn’t get into his actual bed.
Slowly, Stu jostled Murdoc awake.
“C’mon Mudz, time for bed.”
Murdoc sleepily opened his eyes, groaning.
“Shu ‘up … Stuart I’m trying to sleep here”
Stu smiled, “You’ll be a lot more comfy in my bed.”
Murdoc chuckled. “You askin’ me to sleep with ya?”
Stu frowned. “Not in that way Mudz. I’m sleepy and I know you are too.” Stu tucked a piece of Murdoc’s hair being his ears.
Begrudgingly the satanist rolled off of Stu, eventually standing next to the couch rubbing his face.
“Well c’mon then, Dents.” Murdoc made off towards Stu’s bedroom.
Stu stretched and after rubbing his eyes and switching off the record player, which now was playing I’m Still Standing by Elton John for the 15th time, followed Murdoc into his room.
Despite living in the middle of London, surrounded by dogs, busses and construction, Stu slept soundly that night, endlessly comforted by Murdoc’s arms around him.