Work Text:
“To whom do you mourn?” Asks a cat soft as smoke, its coat dark as coal.
A hitched breath.
The silence of nature.
The cold autumn air swept through the trees, rustling their colourful branches, and the long grass of the meadow flowed in waves against the swirls of wind.
“Myself.” Said the girl, her voice cutting through the crisp air.
The cat cocked its head to the side and rumbled a soft purr, pressing into her thigh. It was a show of comfort, a show of comradery speaking could not express.
“I am here.” It said with its actions in lieu of its words.
“You are not alone”
The cat felt like the smoke it sounded of, smooth as silk under her hand. Both fluid as liquid and firm as the earth beneath her.
“I mourn… myself. And everything that makes up me.
I mourn the person I was, I mourn the person I've become.
I mourn for the person I could have been without them.
I mourn the past we shared. I mourn the once happy memories that are now tainted with vile hatred and cruelty.
I mourn for the family, the safety I had thought I found with them, that turned into pain and suffering and agony.
I mourn for the me before we met, the me that was sad and lonely but whole and unbroken.
I mourn for the childhood friend they took away from the people I care about.
I mourn for the girl they replaced her with.
I mourn for her friends who lost her and got someone else, someone new and broken and old and familiar but different.
I mourn for her, who is me. I mourn for me, who is her.
I mourn for us. Who don't know how to properly live anymore.
I mourn with everything I am, for everything that I was and am and will ever be.”
“I am sorry for your loss.” Speaks the cat, nuzzling its warm face into her palm.
“You have suffered greatly.” It says, “It was wrong of them to do that.”
A shuddered breath. A cry. Chest tight and hurting, she wept.
“I don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost. Days go by but I feel stagnant. I don't want to be hurt again. I don't want to hurt anymore.”
“It is always possible to be hurt, such is the nature of living. You hurt, you get knocked down, and you get up again. You live with everything you are in search of everything you could be. You love and are loved.”
“What if I'm not strong enough to get up next time?”
“You will be, you got up last time after all.”
“But what if?”
“Then you rest. And try again. And again and again. Because that is life. Because through all the pain and suffering you will find happiness and peace. You will find your home, your family and friends. The people you love and love you. They will be there for you when you fall. And you will be there for them. Your existence is cherished because you are you. The only one of you to ever walk this earth, precious and loved whether you know it or not.”
Eyes wet with tears, her hands trembled.
“I'm scared.”
“I know.” The cat replied, resting its head against her heart.
“I am here for you. I always will be. You will never be alone.”
“Despite everything, you are loved.”