Archive of Our Own

Jaehyun’s life ends during the last week of his third year in college.

Half dead from cramming for finals, he’s not really in the mood to deal with his roommates, hasn’t even talked to Johnny since they got into an argument about the last slice of pizza after Jaehyun’s third all-nighter of the week. Nonetheless, a roommate meeting is called and everyone is required to be there. It takes Jaehyun a full ten minutes to convince his body to move from his bed. By the time he makes it into the living room, Mark is already stood on the steps into the kitchen and addressing everybody.

“What’s going on?” Jaehyun whispers to Donghyuck as he slides onto the couch.

Donghyuck shrugs. “He’s been rambling about how much he likes living here the whole time.”

Jaehyun’s eyebrow raises as he turns to tune into whatever Mark’s saying.

The simple task is immediately impossible. The late afternoon sun bathes the entire room in an orange glow, bouncing off of Mark’s dewy skin and softening his features. Jaehyun sits with his hands in his lap and tries not to make it obvious that he’s struggling to regulate his breathing. From the look Donghyuck shoots his way, Jaehyun’s not very confident he pulled it off.

“All of this to say,” Mark laughs nervously. Jaehyun checks back in, ears perking up at the tone of his voice. “I’m moving out at the end of the month.”

Jaehyun’s heart drops out of his ass.

“Bro,” Renjun murmurs, “that’s harsh.”

“Probably because he’s sick of having to switch your laundry over for you,” Jungwoo shoots at Johnny.

Mark’s hands wave in the air, “It’s not because of you guys, really. A bunch of grad students mentioned that they were renting a house together and one of their roommates moved out, so they invited me to live with them once I transferred to the grad program. Plus, Taeyong is in my same field, so it’d be kind of ridiculous for me to say no.”

“So we’re not smart enough for you,” Johnny nods, “nice.”

“Maybe you’re not, Super Super Senior, but don’t lump us in with you,” Donghyuck says.

“Man, fuck you,” Johnny laughs, “I’m graduating too.”

Jaehyun says nothing as the conversation washes over him. Too many thoughts float through his mind, and none of them give him enough time to pick one out to process.

It’s too soon.

After Mark had moaned and groaned about struggling through his grad school applications, and eventually boasted about being accepted, Jaehyun thought he had more time. At least two more years. Apparently he was wrong.

“Does this mean I can have my own room now?” Renjun asks, “Because I’ll do literally anything to have my own room at this point.”

“Fuck you too,” Donghyuck mutters.

“I’m next oldest,” Jungwoo reminds them, “I’d get my own room first.”

Mark sighs. Jaehyun’s heart jerks.

There was supposed to be more time.

All the lamenting feels melodramatic, but Jaehyun genuinely feels his heart breaking at the thought of Mark moving out. Like a loser. Or an idiot.

In the two years they lived together, Jaehyun has managed to hold a conversation with Mark a max of two dozen times. At least two of those were fights over who was leaving the milk out to spoil (Jaehyun) and who hadn’t taken the garbage out to the curb (Mark). Every other time Jaehyun stumbled his way through talking about school, or the house, or their roommates, or whatever he could get Mark to drone on about just so he could stare at him.

Jaehyun had plans to eventually do something about his nonexistent relationship with Mark, of course. But building the foundations of friendship took time. Time Mark didn’t have between applying for grad school and grants and schmoozing up to the science professors. Jaehyun respected his time and waited until things settled down.

But Jaehyun waited too long, and now Mark is leaving.

“I found someone looking for a place to stay if you guys wanted help supplementing my portion of the rent,” Mark tells the room, “but it’s up to y’all.”

“We can vote on it,” Johnny shrugs, “see if he fits in with everyone.”

Renjun’s mouth drops. “Bro,” he stage whispers, “Jaehyun and Jungwoo are attached at the hip. I need out of my room.”

“Then you should’ve been born earlier,” Jungwoo snarks.

“How is that my fault?” Renjun bursts, “Age is just a number!”

Mark was always too smart to be bumming it with the rest of them anyway. Jaehyun hadn’t really believed Renjun when he told him that Mark was graduating in just two years after he’d gotten his associates in high school. Not until Mark was elbow deep in grad school applications and trying to find references. At that point Jaehyun was still convinced that they would be living together for at least another year and he’d have time to implement some plan to make Mark fall in love with him. He was apparently sorely mistaken.

Donghyuck leans into Jaehyun’s shoulder. “You good?”

Jaehyun jerks, not expecting anyone so close. “Fine.” He responds shortly, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

—

“My life is over,” Jaehyun groans as he falls into bed, “I’m never going to be happy.”

“You know this is like, all your fault, right?” Jungwoo asks. “If you could figure out how to string two words together in front of him, maybe Mark would have a reason to stay. And I’d still get my own room.”

Jaehyun grabs an empty soda can from his bedside table and chucks it at his roommate. “Thanks for the reminder of what a failure I am as a person.”

Jungwoo shrugs. “Just doing my best friend duties.”

There’s two quick knocks on the door before it opens up, Donghyuck standing on the other side with Renjun. Jaehyun rolls his eyes and turns his head to face the wall to avoid the duo.

“Nice to see you too,” Donghyuck scoffs.

“We wanted to see how you’re handling the news,” Renjun chimes in, “Hyuck said you looked awful during the meeting.”

“Why wouldn’t he be okay?” Jungwoo chirps, “Mark has been a great roommate and we’ll all be sad to see him go.”

“We know about the crush,” Renjun says seriously.

“For fucks sake,” Jaehyun swears, “can you close the door?”

Renjun pushes Donghyuck into the room and pulls the door shut behind them. Before the door can click into place it’s pulled back open and Johnny walks in, slumping onto Jaehyun’s bed and leaving the door wide open once again.

“Bro, I can’t believe you’re letting the love of your life walk out on you like this.”

“The door!” Jaehyun says loudly.

“Markie left,” Johnny tells him, “he’s meeting up with Taeyong for dinner or something.”

Jungwoo’s eyebrows raise. “They a thing?”

Jaehyun tries not to wilt.

“Dude,” Donghyuck nudges Jungwoo harshly, “Jae’s right there.”

“I’m fine,” Jaehyun waves the concerned looks off, “it’s whatever.”

It’s not. Well, it will be. Jaehyun just needs time to compartmentalize. In the time Jaehyun has lived with Mark, he’s become a master at it. Through all of Mark’s dates and hookups and talking stages, Jaehyun has never once lashed out in any kind of way, something he’s immensely proud of.

A year and a half ago, Jaehyun decided to redecorate his side of his bedroom in the middle of the night. He definitely had an eight a.m class the next morning, but in the midst of a breakdown and finally having the room to himself with Jungwoo gone to some guy's house, it had seemed like a great idea. How wrong he was.

It was in the middle of Jaehyun trying to move his bed on his own that his door cracked open. He paused what he was doing, popping his head up to see who it was. Mark peered into his room curiously, jolting when their eyes met. “Hey,” He said cautiously, “I heard a bunch of grunting. Kinda thought you were having a heart attack or something.”

“Oh,” Jaehyun responded, sheepishly looking around the chaos of his room, “No, uh, just decided I needed a change.”

Mark nodded, following Jaehyun’s eyesight around the room before saying, “Want some help?”

What followed changed the course of history forever.

Not really, but it definitely changed the course of Jaehyun’s life forever.

The bed was a lot easier to move with someone else’s help. Once that was out of the way, Mark helped him move all of the stuff that was formerly hidden under his bed frame and find a home for it. “Everything you own has a place,” He had said, making space on Jaehyun’s shelf for some random knick knack Johnny had given him at the arcade. “If it doesn’t, and you can’t find a place for it, it doesn’t belong.” Jaehyun had nodded sagely, like he hadn’t spent the majority of his life with every available surface piled high with clutter he didn’t know what to do with.

Somewhere in between Mark untangling every piece of jewelry Jaehyun owned from a massive clump he kept on his desk and Jaehyun finishing sweeping the dust from the spots his furniture used to inhabit, Mark asked why he was doing this all in the middle of the night anyways. “Oh you know,” Jaehyun had tried to laugh it off, “Life sucks and I can’t be left with my thoughts. Without Jungwoo here it was just a little too quiet. Hey, do you think I can hide these papers under my lamp or is that not finding a proper home for them?” He held up a stack of old physics notes.

Mark frowned at him, then said they would go buy him a box for old papers in the morning. Jaehyun thought that would be it, but Mark continued after a brief silence. “What’s been going on that you can barely stand to think of it?”

Apparently, Jaehyun was easier to get information out of than he ever thought. With just that little bit of prodding, he spilled everything, going on about how five classes a semester is way overload, divulging just how stressful it is to be the child of immigrant parents who expect the most out of their one and only child, how making friends in college is way harder than in high school and how alone he feels most days and how Jungwoo is somehow becoming his only friend because he doesn’t know how to start a relationship without being around someone twenty four seven and did Mark know their bathroom floor has exactly four hundred and nineteen tiles because Jaehyun does. He’s counted it multiple times, when the only thing that can calm him down is putting all of his energy into something so monotonous and mundane his brain starts to leak out of his ears a little.

To his credit, Mark takes the nonsensical rambling in stride, continuing to move things around the room as he listens. When Jaehyun is done, just on the edge of taking in heaping breaths, Mark meets him back on his bed.

“Well.” He starts then stops. Jaehyun always thought it was because he was trying to find the perfect words. “Five classes a semester is definitely a lot, and it’s especially hard when your parents have high expectations for you, but that doesn’t mean you have to shoulder that burden. Your parents can expect a lot, but you should only focus on doing your best. Whatever that looks like.” Jaehyun had said nothing, soaking in what was being said to him. “And you have friends. I always see you around campus with other people. If they’re not cutting it, then you can always find friends in the rest of us. You’re already close with Johnny.”

“But Johnny’s,” Jaehyun paused, thinking of how to word it.

“Johnny’s Johnny,” Mark smiled, “I know, it’s hard not to be friends with him. But I promise, if you just hang around the common areas more often everyone else will grow on you. They’re like fungus, they literally can’t help it.”

Jaehyun had laughed, placated for the evening. After they finished everything Mark left with a promise for them to run to Ikea the next day for the miscellaneous papers box and his number now in Jaehyun’s phone.

The next week is still a little bit of a blur. Jaehyun took Mark’s advice, doing his homework out in the open instead of hiding himself away. It worked, because Mark was the smartest person Jaehyun had ever met, and he gradually started becoming closer with his other housemates. Jungwoo was especially pleased with this development, citing that he was always afraid Jaehyun would end up accidentally killing himself without him around, and now had a handful of other people to ask for help before he did.

Jaehyun was grateful for the advice working out, but found himself lingering in the kitchen in the mornings he knew Mark had classes. The first day he sat in the living room with his laptop in hand he had perked up like a puppy when Mark walked through the door. Twice he stayed up late pretending to do work on the couch until Mark decided he was done with homework for the night and ditched the kitchen table for his own bed. It wasn’t until the third time Jaehyun was late to class after waiting to wish Mark a good morning before he left that he finally realized something was going on. Johnny compared him to a ghost with all of the hovering he was doing, and that was when it clicked as to why Jaehyun had become so desperate to catch a glimpse of Mark.

He liked him.

It was awful to realize. The only thing worse than not being friends with your roommates is hopelessly pining after one of them after they showed the bare minimum of kindness to you. But Jaehyun had always been weak hearted, and Mark was more attractive than Jaehyun could have imagined before moving in.

The next two years are full of Jaehyun making an ass of himself and Mark graciously pretending that’s not what’s happening. Spilling a drink on someone once is embarrassing enough, but after Jaehyun had tried to fake stumble into Mark at a party three times, completely misjudging his own body weight and dousing the both of them in various kinds of alcohol, he decided enough was enough. He would speak to Mark like a normal person or not at all.

His brain chose not at all.

Somehow it never occurred to him that they wouldn’t be living together infinitely, and that someday this exact situation would be happening. Mark moving out and away from the weird guy who was always a little too eager to be in the same room as him, and Jaehyun with his life ruined. Completely in shambles. Unable to be put back together.

He’d always had a knack for the dramatics, but somehow his reaction to this all doesn’t seem dramatic at all.

“They’re not dating either way,” Johnny reassures, “I think Taeyong is like his mentor or buddy or something.”

“You should hop on that soon though,” Renjun tells Jaehyun seriously.

Jaehyun throws his arms up. “What do you think I’ve been doing for the past two years?”

Nobody speaks, the room finally quiet for the first time since Jaehyun had stormed in.

“Dude, that was you trying?”

Jaehyun groans and pulls his blanket over his head.

—

1408 roomies (2:28 am)
jaehyun: tiktok

renjun: who tf is paul revere

jaehyun: r u fr

renjun: yeah

1408 roomies (10:36 am)

donghyuck: renjun ur such a fucking idiot

renjun: fuk u

johnny: lmao

donghyuck: proved my point

jungwoo: hyuck didn’t u fail history last sem

jaehyun: ummmm
jaehyun: my tiktok?

mark: it was funny
mark: i laughed

jaehyun: oh
jaehyun: i’m glad you liked it hahahahaha you nvr respond to my tiktoks

mark: they’re usually at least kind of funny

jaehyun: hahahahahahaha thanks lol

donghyuck: jesus

jungwoo: jae just go to class

jaehyun: yeah alright

—

They hold interviews the week before Mark moves out.

After Mark tells Renjun he pays a hundred dollars more than everyone else for his private room, and everyone gets the rent increase numbers from losing a roommate, the remaining four decide they do need to find a replacement for both Mark and Johnny.

The group finds out the person Mark offered his room to is actually two people when they both walk in. Jeno is Mark’s classmate he’s mildly obsessed with and Jaemin is Jeno’s emotional support animal that he can’t detach from. While Jaehyun has no problem with either of them beyond the fact that their arrival cements Mark’s intentions of leaving, Donghyuck apparently knows and hates Jeno from highschool and halts all of their discussions once he realizes everyone else is okay with them moving in.

It turns into a big fight for two main reasons. The bigger reason is that Donghyuck doesn’t have anyone else to take the empty room and Jungwoo’s mad about it. The smaller but more tense reason is that Mark’s mad that Donghyuck is being ‘unreasonable’.

The second one is how they meet Yangyang.

While Mark and Donghyuck go at it over Jeno’s honor, Jaehyun stays seated on the couch and tries not to make it obvious that he’s staring at the veins in Mark’s neck. Johnny half-assedly tries to get them to stop, but no one else is invested enough to help and step in, letting the argument grow more and more.

Everything comes to a head when Mark calls Donghyuck irresponsible and rescinds his offer of covering half of his usual part of the rent for another month after he left. Donghyuck calls him an asshole and snatches his phone to call someone he thinks is perfect for the soon to be empty room.

Silence envelops the six of them as they all wait for whoever it is that Donghyuck invited over.

With nothing else to do and blood quickly rushing to his face and ears from the awkward situation, Jaehyun pulls out his phone to scroll through Tiktok.

1408 roomies (1:13 pm)
jaehyun: tiktok is this not donghyuck & mark

There’s a shuffle as Jaehyun’s roommates pull their phones out and watch the video. Renjun’s the first to laugh, the sound of his giggles quickly setting off the rest of the room, effectively cutting through the stifling tension. Another success.

“Which one am I supposed to be?” Mark asks.

Jaehyun’s heart stops, flips twenty times, and plants itself in his throat. His brain starts working overtime to try and figure out what exactly to say, but nothing comes to mind, leaving Jaehyun to open and close his mouth like a fish while his brain completely reboots.

“You’re the kid,” Donghyuck responds before Jaehyun can, “obviously.”

“I actually thought you were the kid,” Mark tells him, “Since you’re acting like a little brat.”

Donghyuck scoffs, “Right, I’m being a brat. When you’re the one trying to move the devil into the house.”

Jaehyun winces. Tiktok failed.

“You know what?” Mark stands, “Jeno was actually really happy when he found out you lived here. He said he wanted to make amends for his past actions and get closer with you.”

Donghyuck stares at him silently, assessing his every move. For a moment Jaehyun thinks the impossible has happened and Mark’s successfully won over Donghyuck, but just as Donghyuck’s shoulders relax, Mark’s eyebrow twitches.

“You’re full of shit.”

Jaehyun groans.

“Can y’all shut up?” Jungwoo cuts in. “You’re giving me a headache.”

“Tell him to shut up,” Mark mutters. Jaehyun’s lips twitch up from how cute it is.

A knock at the door stops any more retaliation, and Donghyuck jumps up from his seat to go open it. Jaehyun’s just glad the frown falls off of Mark’s face.

The kid that walks through looks vaguely familiar, but Jaehyun can’t quite place where he knows him from. Either way, he sits down on the kitchen chair placed in front of the couch and armchairs with a relaxed grin on his face, waving to everybody as Donghyuck introduces him.

“This is Yangyang,” Donghyuck motions towards him, “he’s majoring in…” Donghyuck trails off and then looks down as he mumbles something incomprehensible.

“He’s majoring in what?” Jaehyun asks.

Donghyuck glares at him. “In business.”

“Immediate no,” Jungwoo chirps as he stands up and turns to Mark, “bring the other one back.”

Yangyang shrugs, “Fair enough.”

“You’re such a bastard,” Donghyuck bites, “that’s so rude to do to someone you don’t know.”

Jungwoo’s eyebrows raise. “Excuse me? Don’t know?”

“You know this kid?” Jaehyun asks him.

“We all do,” Jungwoo huffs a laugh, “remember when Donghyuck’s hook up fell out of the window?”

“Holy shit,” Jaehyun gasps, “that’s why you look so familiar!”

“I can’t believe you guys remember that,” Yangyang laughs easily, “it was so long ago.”

The weekend before classes started back up, the house had thrown a welcome back party for their friends. Like all of the parties Johnny set up, it quickly got out of hand. Jaehyun still didn’t remember parts of that night. The only thing he did remember was the next morning, when he was hungover out of his mind and woken up in the very early morning by Donghyuck screaming about an ambulance. Luckily Yangyang was okay and no one had to pay for an ambulance bill, but Jaehyun had only taken one look out the window before deciding it was someone else’s problem to deal with. Probably why Jungwoo could recognize Yangyang and he couldn’t.

“Hyuck you know there’s a rule against significant others moving in,” Johnny reminds him gently.

“We are not dating,” Donghyuck insists.

“You really don’t need to seem so upset about the insinuation,” Yangyang mutters.

“Hook ups count against people moving in,” Renjun tells him, “plus he’s a business major. That’s two strikes.”

Donghyuck throws his hands up, “Jaehyun lives here!”

“I’m majoring in communications and marketing,” Jaehyun interjects. “and I’ve never hooked up with anyone in this room.”

“Don’t make me bring it up,” Donghyuck says threateningly.

Jaehyun’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, that’s where we’re going?”

Yangyang raises his hand and sits patiently until Johnny tells him he can talk.

“If hookups count then how are you two allowed to live together?” He asks, motioning in the general direction of all the roommates. Jaehyun’s head whips around, unaware of any of them having any sordid history.

Renjun’s head tilts, “Um, who?”

“Puppy and blondie,” Yangyang clarifies. Jaehyun’s heart stops beating as he makes eye contact with a very guilty Jungwoo.

“How do you even know about that?” Mark hisses.

“You guys told everyone at that one party,” Yangyang shrugs, “I only remember because the one with the ears cried about it.”

Jaehyun flinches when the attention turns to him.

“Bro,” Johnny whispers, “for real?”

“I think you have me mistaken with someone else,” Jaehyun laughs nervously.

Yangyang shrugs. “Maybe.”

“Then Yangyang gets to move in,” Donghyuck declares. “Since hookups apparently don’t count.”

“It was two years ago!” Mark shouts, “before The Contract of 1408.”

The Contract of 1408 was written two weeks after Jaehyun moved into the house. It consists of rules they all voted on after Jungwoo threw up in Donghyuck’s potted plant and Johnny dried Renjun’s jeans and ruined them. Most of the time it was the only thing keeping the house from full on anarchy.

“How convenient,” Jaehyun nods tightly.

Jungwoo rolls his eyes. “How the hell did you think I got us a house so close to campus for sophomore year? Luck?”

“I didn’t know you were sleeping around for it!” Jaehyun cries.

“We didn’t have sex,” Mark tells him, “we just made out and then I gave him a nosebleed so I offered the room.”

“You didn’t even live here two years ago,” Donghyuck cuts in.

Johnny lifts a hand to get the room's attention. “He already had dibs on Taeil’s room.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “That’s why you freaked when we showed up to the interview together.”

“Didn’t wanna be the other man,” Mark shrugs.

“Well I’m with Donghyuck,” Jaehyun grumbles. “My vote is going to Window Boy.”

“Traitor,” Mark grunts. Jaehyun wants to bite the same thing at him but refrains.

“I feel like I need to disclose that I’ve hooked up with Jaemin a couple of times,” Renjun interjects, “so I’m actually gonna vote for Yangyang too.”

Johnny throws his arms up. “Can any of you keep it in your pants?”

Mark scoffs. “Says you. You’ve slept with all my new roommates.”

“I’m not ashamed of that,” Johnny shrugs.

“I’m still for Jeno and Jaemin,” Jungwoo says, “I’ve seen too much of Yangyang.”

“Same here,” Johnny nods.

Jaehyun sighs exasperatedly. “Nice, guys. It’s tied.”

“Maybe I should go,” Yangyang laughs nervously.

“Yeah,” Renjun nods, getting up from the couch and leading him to the door, “we’ll let you know in a couple of days.”

Everyone else is quiet until the front door closes. The second it shuts Jaehyun lurches up from his seat and heads for his room.

“You two are unbelievable,” he hears Donghyuck fuss.

“Jae, don’t be mad!” Jungwoo calls after him.

Jaehyun doesn’t respond. A lot just happened, and he needs time to process everything. And also to decide if he actually likes Yangyang more or if he was just trying to piss Mark off. Maybe he should just find someone else to move in entirely so he doesn’t have to pick.

Whatever needs to be done can be dealt with later, Jaehyun decides, once his mind is clearer. For now he just needs to deal with everything in his own way.

—

donghyuck (10:54 pm)

donghyuck: bruv i cahn’t believe they’ve done this to all of us

jaehyun: are you typing out a british accent

donghyuck: yuh

jaehyun: nice

donghyuck: but fr
donghyuck: r u ok?

jaehyun: i mean
jaehyun: yeah?
jaehyun: it’s not like either of them owed me anything at the time. and even now mk doesn’t know abt the thing so it’s not like i could b mad at him either way

donghyuck: but,,,,,,,,,

jaehyun: but part of me is still annoyed ://////
jaehyun: ik i shouldn’t be but i just am rn

donghyuck: well at least ur not being a dick
donghyuck: you helped mk move his dresser over to the new house, right?

jaehyun: yeah
jaehyun: but i also pulled my shirt up to ‘wipe my face’ like ten times so idk if it counts as selflessly helping

donghyuck: damn i can’t believe i missed that

jaehyun: bro i;m down the hall
jaehyun: just lmk ;p

donghyuck: we can be the new mark and jungwoo
donghyuck: or renjun and jaemin ig

jaehyun: or you and yangyang

donghyuck: if u wna fall out a window that bad i can make it happen for u

jaehyun: lmao

donghyuck: u good?

jaehyun: yeah
jaehyun: jungwoo just walked in
jaehyun: i’m gna passive aggressively listen to tiktoks super loud and laugh at them and not show him any of them

donghyuck: that’ll get him
donghyuck: send me any good ones & i’ll brag abt them tmrw

jaehyun: will do
jaehyun: thx 4 checking up

donghyuck: ofc dude
donghyuck: lmk if u wna stay in my room w me

jaehyun: <<<<<<333333

—

mark (11:30 pm)

mark: do you want mcd’s
mark: i’m buying johnny some as a thank you for the dresser

jaehyun: actually if you would buy me fries i’d really appreciate it

mark: you got it
mark: it might take a min johnny wants to eat in the play area

jaehyun: no big i’ll be up for a while

mark: okay cool

—

mark (2:13 am)

jaehyun jung: u get the best ones bc im not sending to the gc rn lmao
jaehyun jung: tiktok i have tears in my eyes
jaehyun jung: tiktok this one too lmao

donghyuck (3:35 am)

jaehyun: ok don’t respond then

—

Jaehyun wakes up earlier than he should the next morning and lies as still as possible until the sounds of Jungwoo getting ready stops and he finally leaves. Jaehyun groans, turning over to grab his phone and go through his notifications. The last one is a text from Mark, and Jaehyun’s heart speeds up as he unlocks his phone to read what it says.

mark (10:33 am)

mark: that was a lot to wake up to lol
mark: they’re funny
mark: also, did everyone really piss you off that much?

Jaehyun’s heart drops out of his ass. He shoots straight up into a seated position, switching over to his thread with Donghyuck and freezing when all he sees is his passive aggressive text with no previously sent Tiktoks.

donghyuck (10:42 am)

donghyuck: ???????
donghyuck: respond to what????
donghyuck: ur ass??????????

donghyuck (1:03 pm)

jaehyun: this is literally all ur fault

Jaehyun tosses his phone to the end of the bed, falling backwards onto his pillows to properly lament his life choices.

It’s not the biggest deal in the world, but sending someone a text not meant for them is embarrassing enough on it’s own. Add in the fact that Jaehyun never really texts Mark one on one unless one of them needs something, and that Jaehyun admitted he was annoyed at his roommates, he can already feel his ears burning up.

Jaehyun tosses his blankets off and slides out of bed, sluggishly pulling on a shirt and his slippers. The house is at a level of silence only achieved when everyone’s out of the house or fully asleep, so he’s not too worried about running into either Mark or Jungwoo as he tip toes down the hallway and into the kitchen.

Thankfully, all of the rooms are empty. There’s a plate covered with a napkin that someone wrote Jaehyun’s name on, and when he peels it off two chocolate covered donuts with rainbow sprinkles are revealed. They’re his favorite kind of donut, and were apparently put aside specifically for him if the box of glazed ones to the side is any indication. Jaehyun knows the move has to be Jungwoo’s attempt at an olive branch for the information that was exposed the day before. He ponders on it as he chomps down.

What he told Donghyuck about the situation still rings true. Neither of them had any reason not to hook up. Probably the most annoying bit is that Jungwoo omitted the truth for so long, but after a full night’s sleep, Jaehyun’s not really bothered by that either. However, if moping about it gets him free donuts, Jaehyun’s slightly inclined to see what else he could get out of Jungwoo by seeming more than a little upset.

Either way, Jaehyun’s feeling better after his donut. He carries the second one to his room and hides it under a hat so nobody steals it, and then clips his hair back to start cleaning the kitchen. His own form of an olive branch for being such a weirdo the night before.

Once all the counters have been wiped down, the trash taken out, and the dishes are drying on the rack, Johnny pops up in the doorway. Jaehyun almost jumps out of his skin when he turns around and sees him.

“Jesus,” Jaehyun gasps, “when did you get home?”

“I never left,” Johnny tells him, “I just didn’t want to be roped into cleaning the kitchen.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes and goes back to sweeping. Typical.

“How late were you up last night? You woke up so late Jungwoo was worried you were sick.”

“Late,” Jaehyun shrugs. He’d stayed up later and slept later. It’s not that big of a deal.

Johnny huffs. “Okay then.”

Jaehyun sighs and straightens up, “I don’t know man, I feel asleep at like four or five. I wasn’t paying super close attention to the clock.”

Johnny hums. “Mark asked about you this morning.”

Jaehyun freezes for a split second before he remembers he’s supposed to be acting normal and his brain reboots.

“What’d he say?”

“He was wondering if we got in a fight because of what you texted him last night.”

Jaehyun’s face falls, “He told you about that?”

“He showed me the videos,” Johnny nods, “they were funny but also not funny at the same time.”

“Did he laugh when he showed you?” Jaehyun asks hopefully.

“Dude,” Johnny grimaces, “come on.”

Jaehyun groans, leaning the broom against the counter and dropping his head into his hands. “I know.”

Johnny grabs the broom and finishes sweeping the other side of the kitchen while Jaehyun reevaluates every moment that’s led him to this point.

“He’s just so…” Jaehyun debates even finishing that sentence. “Cute.” he concludes. “It’s like I can only be normal around him for so long before my brain remembers how cute he is and I forget how to talk.”

Johnny stays politely turned away as Jaehyun rambles.

“Like. Okay, so the other day I was studying, right?”

“Right.” Johnny nods shortly.

“And I was going over equations, but I couldn’t remember a bunch and me and Jungwoo were kind of laughing about it and then Mark walked past and was like oh, I took that class last year and then brought me his flashcards. Bro, who does that? He didn’t even say anything bad about how dumb I am, he just helped out no questions asked.”

Johnny winces, “Jae, you’re not dumb. You shouldn’t say that.”

“Not the point,” Jaehyun waves him off. “The point is that he’s ruining my life.”

“The point should be that you’ve wasted enough time pining after him and now you either need to get with it or be alone forever.” Johnny says seriously.

“Maybe,” Jaehyun says lightly, knowing full well he’s lying.

Donghyuck and Renjun get home then, arguing loud enough that Jaehyun can hear them even before they open the front door. He uses the distraction to slip out of the kitchen and back to his room.

“Jaehyun!” Donghyuck calls up the stairs, “You never responded to my text!”

“Come to my room!” Jaehyun shouts back. “It’s private!”

Jaehyun lets Donghyuck sit on his bed as he tells him about the mixed up texts between him and Mark. It’s a short story but one that takes Jaehyun a little extra time to convince himself to admit. Donghyuck only laughs a minimal amount when Jaehyun shows him the videos, and Jaehyun suddenly regrets attempting to send him anything at all.

“You know Mark’s weird like you are, right?” Donghyuck asks. “He probably ate this shit up.”

“I’m not weird,” Jaehyun grumps, “and Mark’s all nerdy and stuff. I don’t think he even has a Tiktok.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “You’re both weird. Now just make a move so you can have weirdo babies together.”

“Dude, I’m chill.” Jaehyun reiterates. “I’m not even weird, you just have no sense of humor.”

“Dude,” Donghyuck mocks, “you’re totally not. You just get away with it ‘cause you’re hot and stuff.”

Jaehyun smiles. “You think I’m hot?”

“You’re nasty,” Donghyuck grunts as he throws a pillow at Jaehyun’s head.

“And hot,” Jaehyun teases.

“Alright,” Donghyuck sighs, “you win. I’ll leave you alone.”

“Thank you,” Jaehyun hums, not reacting when Donghyuck purposefully leaves his door open. Not even when Mark walks past it thirty minutes later in nothing but a towel. Or ten seconds after that when Donghyuck and Renjun’s heads become visible as they try to peek into Jaehyun’s room. That’s when Jaehyun gets up and shuts the door to a cacophony of groans and crude jokes.

He ignores those too. Just for peace of mind.

—

Jaehyun has had many crushes over the years.

Starting at a young age, Jaehyun has always been quick to fall in love. Usually it was something simple and easy that got his heart racing. Someone holding the door open for him, smiling a little too broadly during a conversation, lightly touching his hand or wrist to guide him somewhere. They were always small, common tasks, but meant a little too much to Jaehyun. It was silly, and he usually kept his infatuations with people completely secret until they went away, but it was a truth about himself he knew well. He was easy to get to, even if it never went anywhere.

Mark is different and similar in so many ways.

There was no split instant where Jaehyun decided he was in love with Mark. Their late night talk was definitely the Big Moment, but Jaehyun didn’t leave that conversation feeling like his world had changed like he usually did. Instead, it had seemed like for a while after, when they went on their Ikea run for a box, when they would eat breakfast together in the mornings, every time Jaehyun sat at the kitchen table doing work so he could look up and see Mark doing his own homework at the couch, Mark would do things that would make his chest hurt a little more, until he finally realized his feelings.

With all his other crushes, Jaehyun had no desire to push their relationship further. It was more like Jaehyun was hopelessly in love, and when it eventually stopped (because it always did) he was happy for the experience and even happier it was over. When he tried to explain it to Jungwoo once he’d looked at Jaehyun like he was crazy, but it always made sense in Jaehyun’s head.

These innocent bystanders, sometimes friends, sometimes complete strangers, as much as he was embarrassed by it, genuinely made him happy during his short lived affection for them. The casual talks and glances around campus filled him with the excitement and warmth only known in its association to love. When that special brand of care eventually died down Jaehyun was grateful that he no longer had to deal with the stress of having all of these emotions, but also that these people were able to make him feel so much without even knowing.

Mark is similar in this way.

He doesn’t know about the quickening of Jaehyun’s heart or the rushing of his blood when he enters a room, but he gives that part of himself to Jaehyun anyways. It’s perhaps a little dramatic, but this has always been the way Jaehyun thinks of it.

The difference is that this time, Jaehyun does want to push it further.

There have been many days spent with Jaehyun imagining how he would tell Mark about all of the big feelings he gives him and what that could mean between them. He’s considered what it would be like to move into one room together, or even their own apartment, or how he’d bring him home to meet his parents and if Mark would want to do the same. It’s been so much more than any of Jaehyun’s previous infatuations, which is how he knows it’s not the same.

The difference is that this time, Jaehyun can’t push it further.

Mark is a parents wet dream. With his polite manners that makes it seem like he was frequently going to those cotillion balls Jaehyun was shocked to hear still existed, and his academic career, Jaehyun is one thousand percent positive Mark would be the most welcomed person to ever meet his partners parents. It’s good for Mark, and terrible for Jaehyun.

It was obvious from the beginning that Mark was smart. Jaehyun knew that he was a year younger than him and still an upperclassman by the time he and Jungwoo moved into the house. There also just always seemed to be a pile of books somewhere near him, like it was the visual representation of his IQ. Jaehyun knew they were completely different, but it never bothered him before he fell in love with the dude.

School had always been a point of contention for Jaehyun. He struggled his way through high school, and since joining college has been a strong subscriber to the “do today, due today” methodology of school work. He’s cried more than once over not understanding his homework and has been forced to use a myriad of reasons to convince his professors to accept his late work. Somehow he’s necessarily kept good grades throughout his entire academic career, even though he doesn’t know how, or if he could even do it again if asked. Mostly it feels as though he’s just blundering his way through life, and somehow it’s working out.

Thankfully, even if he doesn’t understand this either, he’s a lot better at the social stuff. Mainly because around the end of middle school, when he started looking less like the awkward chubby kid he was and more like the guys on the covers of the books the girls in class would read (their words, never his), people started randomly coming up to talk to him. It took some work, and some core memories of him humiliating himself and blundering through conversations with people much cooler than himself, but he came out the otherside much more fully formed. And yeah, maybe he was still occasionally an embarrassing mess, but that was usually smoothed over by a quick flash of the dimples and a shake of his hair.

Mark deserved much more than dimples and playing with his hair. He deserved someone at his same level, intellectually and otherwise. He didn’t need someone who was faking his way through school and spent most of the time he was supposed to be studying watching anime or reading fanfiction.

And even if Jaehyun had more practice talking to people than studying, it never translated over when he had a crush on someone. Instead it was like his tongue had been cut out and he hadn’t ever learned a single word in his life. Especially in front of Mark. These are all traits he’s delegated to the not things someone like mark lee would want to deal with list. It’s quite extensive, and Jaehyun’s pretty proud of it.

So, no, he can’t do anything about the most pressing crush he’s had to date. Rather, he daydreams about what their life together could be like if he wasn’t such a loser and hopes that the Jaehyun in another dimension has better luck. And it’s working out for him pretty well. Or, it was, until Mark ruined all of Jaehyun’s hopes and dreams of becoming actual friends and then platonically living together forever. Even if Johnny constantly tells him how tragic he is, and with all the more recent sad eyes he gets from all of his roommates, Jaehyun knows this is how things are supposed to be. The natural course of the universe, of Mark’s universe particularly, has nothing to do with him. He’s come to terms with it. Mostly.

Even if it’s a little soul crushing, it’s fine. He’s fine.

—-

Jaehyun is not fine.

It’s the thirty-first of May, one of the hottest days of the year, and Jaehyun mopes from the kitchen as he watches Mark pile the last of his things into a truck. The last week of them living together hadn’t amounted to them getting any closer than all the others. Jaehyun only talks to Mark when they run into each other, and only holds a conversation with him a single time, when Mark asks Johnny and Jaehyun for help putting his bed together and Johnny leaves him to sit in the front seat on the drive over to Mark’s new house.

One of Mark’s new roommates, Taeyong, comes to help pack a truck full of what was left of Mark’s room, since he’d been steadily moving stuff over for a few weeks. When the truck pulls up Jaehyun’s expecting a country boy to pop out of it, having to hide his surprise when Taeyong’s the one who steps out of the front seat. It becomes apparent the truck is borrowed when he can’t figure out how to pull down the bed, and even more so when Johnny has to back the truck into the driveway after Taeyong admits he can’t steer it.

Jaehyun helps take out a few boxes full of books, making sure to act like he’s not struggling at all whenever he passes by Mark, and then sits down at the breakfast bar to rethink all of his life choices. Like being too much of a coward to ever make a move. And being so awkward that when Mark tries to hug him goodbye he freezes and only manages to pat him on the back a single time before Mark’s moving on to the next person.

By the time Mark’s officially gone, Jaehyun’s made peace with closing this chapter of his life. Things just didn’t pan out, and that kind of sucks, but there’s no use in continuing his little pity party of one. No one else seems to feel the same.

In the next few hours Jaehyun is visited by each of his roommates multiple times as he tries to pack up to go visit his parents for a few days. Renjun is the first to panic, somehow convincing himself that Jaehyun was planning on moving out with a single carry on bag. Then Johnny comes in to ask him how to fix the leak in the shower. The one Johnny taught him back when he first moved in. Donghyuck sits on his bed and ignores him for two hours while Jaehyun gets distracted on his phone. Finally, Jungwoo shuffles in and shuts the door behind him.

“Scram,” he tells Donghyuck, and they must have talked beforehand, because Donghyuck actually listens. Jaehyun sighs and puts his phone away, preparing for whatever rant Jungwoo’s about to go in.

“You haven’t packed,” Jungwoo says.

“Astute observation,” Jaehyun gripes.

Jungwoo sighs and sits on his bed. “Are you okay?”

“I’m so sick of that question,” Jaehyun groans. “I’m fine. Now that Mark’s gone I can get over my little weirdo hero worship crush, and life can go back to normal.”

“If you’re sure.” Jungwoo shrugs. Jaehyun does his best not to get annoyed over what is essentially nothing. “Are you gonna be back for Johnny’s going away party?”

“Maybe,” Jaehyun shrugs. “Depends on what happens when I get home. Why didn’t Mark have one, again?”

“He said he was too shy.” Jungwoo tells him, rolling his eyes. Jaehyun doesn’t tell him how cute he thinks that is.

Jaehyun nods. “Right. Well, if I’m not back for Johnny’s I’ll just facetime in for a minute or something.”

“Sounds good,” Jungwoo agrees. It’s quiet for a moment too long and somehow Jaehyun knows exactly what’s coming.

“About Mark,” Jungwoo starts.

“It’s whatever,” Jaehyun interrupts. “You really don’t need to explain something that happened two years ago.”

“But Jae,” Jungwoo tries, only to get cut off again.

“Dude, really,” Jaehyun says seriously, stopping what he’s doing to look Jungwoo in the face, “it was a long time ago, before all of this. It’s fine, just let it go.”

Jungwoo nods. “I just feel bad that I never told you.”

“Told me what?” Jaehyun asks, “About some rando hook up? Who cares.”

Jungwoo’s shoulders drop, but he doesn’t bring it up again.

“You’re only bringing jeans?” he asks instead.

“It’s New England,” Jaehyun defends.

“It’s summer,” Jungwoo responds. “Here, I’ll help you pack.”

Jaehyun spends the rest of the night vetoing pieces of clothing he usually only wears on nights he goes out, having to remind Jungwoo that he’s only going to see his family multiple times. Jungwoo takes the piss, and still tries to sneak a few of his favorites into Jaehyun’s suitcase, but overall it’s a good night. Things feel like they’ve settled between the two of them, and Jaehyun’s not even close to moping about having one less roommate.

A full success in his eyes

—

1408 roomies (4:27 am)

jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
johnny: bro why are you even awake rn

jaehyun: i’m omw to the airport
jaehyun: why are /you/ awake

johnny: bc i’m an adult w a job

jaehyun: ew

1408 roomies (8:52 am)
mark: hope you had a safe flight jaehyun!
mark: i laughed at all of those they were funnier than usual

jaehyun: my flight was good, thank you!
jaehyun: and that made me feel good and bad at the same time

mark: haha sorry

jaehyun: no don’t worry about it!
jaehyun: i was just kidding

mark: no worries
mark: same here

jungwoo (9:03 am)

jaehyun: pls txt in the gc i’m drowning
jaehyun: idk how to talk to him dude i need u rn

1408 roomies (9:04 am)

jaehyun: hahahah good
jaehyun: well i’m glad you liked them either way

mark: lol

jungwoo (9:05 am

jaehyun: i’m being so serious rn i can’t even explain how sweaty i am

1408 roomies (9:05 am)

donghyuck: what are you losers blowing the gc up for
donghyuck: jae, mark is right. ur only funny half the time

jaehyun: thank you for your contribution, donghyuck

donghyuck: np
donghyuck: & mark
donghyuck: u shouldn’t even be in here anymore traitor

mark: aw man, are you actually gonna kick me out

donghyuck: idk maybe
donghyuck: we’ll see how i feel abt it

mark: alright deal

jungwoo (11:46 am)jungwoo: sry lol i was asleep

jaehyun: don’t ring my line

jungwoo: i said sorry

jaehyun: my moms calling for me

jungwoo: jaeee
jungwoo: don’t leave me
jungwoo: we can work this out

jungwoo (2:30 pm)jungwoo: wtv i’ll just go hang out w mark all day

jaehyun: have fun sitting in ur exes house while u do that

jungwoo: touche

—

Once Jaehyun is back in the house summer passes in a blur. Jaehyun spends most of it working at an ice cream stand in a roller rink, perpetually sticky and always a little too tired to do anything once his shift ends.

When he’s home the house feels big and lonely like it does every summer. Jungwoo flys back and forth from different vacation locations throughout the months. Donghyuck is staying with his family until two weeks before the semester starts. The only person Jaehyun really spends any significant amount of time with is Renjun. It’s a little awkward, since they’re both used to Donghyuck being around to guide them through social situations, but they get through it. Mark’s in town for some of the summer as well, and the more he visits the house to hang out with them and get away from his own equally empty sharehouse, the easier it is for Jaehyun to adapt to talking to him like a normal person.

Like now, as Jaehyun gets home from his shift with ice cream still melting into his shirt from the eight year that slammed into him on his way out of the booth. He doesn’t check who’s in the living room before he pulls off his nasty shirt, using the clean parts to wipe off his stomach.

“Whore,” Renjun calls from the couch. Jaehyun sticks his middle finger up.

“I think it’s nice,” Mark’s voice comes from the same direction. “It shows he’s comfortable here now.”

Jaehyun jumps. “Jesus,” he gasps, “why are you here?”

“Rude,” Mark pouts.

“Not like that,” Jaehyun starts.

“He just hates you,” Renjun interrupts. “Like, a lot.”

The pair on the couch burst into giggles. Jaehyun focuses on flexing his abs enough to define them but not enough to make it obvious he’s trying to show off. In the months since Mark moved out and Jaehyun convinced himself he’d get over his schoolboy crush, the opposite reaction had somehow begun.

It’s easier now, seeing Mark a few times a week in between work and trying not to waste one of the last big breaks he’ll ever have, than it ever was to live with him. Jaehyun has a lot more time to process their interactions, for one. Also, without the constant background of stress from school, Jaehyun is overall more chilled out. No more frazzled or rushed conversations in the early hours of the morning.

It’s also kind of the worst thing to happen to Jaehyun, in a sense. Mark wears less clothes than he ever did when he lived in the house, for one. It might have something to do with the fact that their landlord hadn’t fixed the A/C unit like he was supposed to before the weather got so hot. Or maybe it’s just because Renjun is always less than half way dressed and Mark doesn’t feel weird following along now that Jaehyun can form full sentences around him.

As chilled out as Jaehyun has become without school looming over him, Mark is almost unrecognizable. He’s usually bright and kind. Usually helpful and put together. Now, he seems happy. Being laughed at by Mark Lee of all people is a special kind of hell when his smile is so blinding.

“I’m going to shower,” Jaehyun declares, needing to gain back control . “Maybe when I come out you guys will be in the mood to be nice to me.”

Renjun waves him off, turning his attention back to the television. Jaehyun can’t exactly tell what show they’re watching but he finds he doesn’t care enough to try and figure it out.

He takes a quick shower, just long enough to get all the grime off him from the day, and then hops into his comfiest pajamas and joins the other two on the couch. They’re watching Love Island, and Jaehyun barely holds it together through an entire episode. He can’t figure out who’s who in the plot or what they’re all fighting about, but every time he asks any questions he gets shushed. The one time he asks to switch the channel to Snapped, Renjun and Mark tell him to leave if he’s going to be negative.

“Why did you even move out if you were going to invade the house all summer?” Jaehyun grumbles.

“My parents made me,” Mark responds distractedly.

Jaehyun’s eyebrows raise. “Aren’t you like, twenty-one?”

Mark’s gaze finally leaves the television and focuses on him instead. “Yeah but they pay my rent and they wanted me to live with other grad students to keep me on track.”

“We’re lucky Markie got to stay here over summer,” Renjun adds on, “last summer he went home and came back all Canadianized.”

Something happens between Mark and Renjun, then, that stops Jaehyun from asking any more questions.

The tv continues to be background noise for all the thoughts swirling through his mind. Jaehyun stayed to work through the summer and to have an excuse to not go see his dad. Renjun stayed because his family didn’t care where he was and he liked having peace and quiet. Jaehyun had secretly wondered why Mark had joined their little group for the summer, but figured it had something to do with school.

Jaehyun reminds himself that it’s really none of his business. That Mark is entitled to as much privacy as anyone else. But his interest is piqued, and he really really wants to know.

“So you didn’t actually want to move out?” Jaehyun asks once the tense atmosphere has lightened up a bit. Renjun’s head whips over, the glare already prominent on his face.

Mark shrugs. “Not really. I liked it here, and I liked living with you guys. But I had to move to keep my financial funds secured so I did.”

“Why didn’t you just lie?”

“My parents would come to visit,” Mark tells him. “The only reason they’re not coming down now is because I told them I have to be quarantined if I’m in the lab.”

Jaehyun has never heard of any lab courses or even internships that required the person taking them to be sequestered away from other people.

“You’re taking summer courses?”

“Nah,” Mark grins. “I just told them I got accepted into this super prestigious unpaid internship and they fell for it.”

Jaehyun nods. “That seems like that would do it.” He shuts up after that, not wanting to push into what is obviously sensitive territory.

Donghyuck had told him the year before that Mark was in some sort of science program. In Jaehyun’s head, Mark came from a well off family made up of doctors and scientists and lawyers and was just getting a degree to join the fray.

Jaehyun tries to piece the puzzle together while Mark makes them all popcorn. Of course part of him was aware that Mark complained about his classes, but he was an undergrad. Everyone complains about their classes. Jaehyun had always assumed Mark was on such a fast track because he wanted to be and he was so smart. But now all he can think of is how many times he had Donghyuck go sit in class with him.

It might be the tiniest amount of messed up, Jaehyun sitting and staring at Mark as he tries to psychoanalyze everything he knows about him from living together for two years, but Jaehyun can’t help it. It’s nearing the end of the summer, soon classes will start back up and Mark will most likely be too busy to come over and binge watch trashy reality tv shows. Jaehyun’s trying to latch onto anything he can get at this point.

He tries to ask Renjun a question but gets a hand in his face instead of an answer.

“Just let it go,” Renjun tells him. “I thought you were getting over him.”

Jaehyun huffs. “How could I even start to get over him when half the time I’m in the house he’s here in tiny little shorts and no shirt?”

“Figure it out,” Renjun smiles tightly. “For your own peace of mind.”

Jaehyun doesn’t have the chance to respond before Mark comes back and plops down in between them, popcorn bowl in his lap. Jaehyun works overtime to keep himself from staring at Mark’s legs every time he grabs more of their snack.

——

Somehow, in the haze of summer heat and British people making out on the tv, the three of them fall asleep. Jaehyun wakes up hanging over the arm of the couch with Renjun laying on top of him. When he looks over, Mark’s top half is on the floor with his legs dangling over the couch. He fumbles for his phone and clicks it on to see it’s almost three in the morning. Jaehyun groans and lifts up to shake Renjun awake.

“What?” Renjun grumbles.

“Get off of me,” Jaehyun shoves at him. “Go sleep in your room.”

Renjun sits up groggily and kicks Mark in the side, entirely too harshly for the time of night it is.

“Mark,” Renjun yawns, “go to your room.”

“He doesn’t live here anymore,” Jaehyun reminds him.

“What time is it?” Mark whimpers, sliding entirely off the couch to curl up into a ball.

“Late.”

Jaehyun is the first to stand, taking a moment to make sure he’s steady before he grabs Renjun by the arms and yanks him up. After Renjun’s fully on his feet, Jaehyun turns him around so he can stumble off to him room and then bends to shake Mark’s shoulder.

“Mark,” Jaehyun says softly, “do you want to sleep in Donghyuck’s bed or do you want to sleep on the couch?”

Mark snuffles and grabs Jaehyun’s hand, pulling into his chest and wrapping his arms around it. Jaehyun’s mind and body pause at the exact moment Mark’s cheek touches his skin.

“I’m so tired,” Mark groans.

“Do you want to go sleep in a bed?” Jaehyun asks carefully.

Mark’s eyes squint up at him. “Your bed?”

“No!” Jaehyun insists, eyes wide and unoccupied hand coming up in surrender. “I thought you'd go sleep in Renjun’s room.”

“I’m kidding,” Mark laughs sleepily as he releases Jaehyun’s hand and pushes himself up. “Sorry for being touchy, I like to snuggle while I sleep.”

“No worries,” Jaehyun breathes, taking in what’s just happened. Mark waits for him to get back on his feet so they both end up walking down the hall together. Jaehyun feels like he’s supposed to say something but his mind is blank. He doesn’t even realize he’s made it into his room until he’s under the covers.

Mark’s an enigma, he decides. Someone that Jaehyun thought he had figured out but is slowly learning that couldn’t be further from the truth. Their conversations of the day float through Jaehyun’s head as he tries to piece together who exactly Mark is as a person.

The words I like to snuggle while I sleep cycle through Jaehyun’s mind until he falls asleep and dreams of human sized teddy bears with cute laughs and mean jokes.

—

Mark initially stays for a single night, which turns into a few days, which turns into him temporarily moving into Johnny’s old room until everyone else moves back in. Apparently his parents think he’s living in a science facility or something, and since all his other roommates are either working endlessly at their own summer internships or courses, Mark doesn’t really mind leaving any of them behind.

“You guys are more fun anyways,” he explains sheepishly, ears red and eyes locked on the ground.

Having another person in the house is nice. Especially since none of them have class and only Jaehyun is working, they kind of get into a routine of staying up late at night and packing all of their activities into Jaehyun’s days off. The first week of Mark living with them again goes off without a hitch. The house is always clean again, either Mark’s doing or Mark’s constant nagging at Renjun to clean up after himself. Renjun has a consistent ride other than Jaehyun so he doesn’t have to feel bad about leaving him alone in the house all the time, and Jaehyun can’t tell if he’s making it up in his head, but Mark seems like he’s happier all around.

Jaehyun takes the opportunity bestowed upon him to try to get closer to Mark instead of running away at the sight of him like he did before. It works out most of the time, even if Jaehyun sticks his foot in his mouth in every other interaction they have with one another.

Like now, as Jaehyun tries to explain why he sends random videos and tweets to people in the middle of the night.

“It’s just like, a way to show that I like people.” Jaehyun tells both Mark and Renjun as the three of them sit around the island and eat pizza.

“Ew, you like me?” Renjun asks teasingly, leaning into Mark and laughing when Jaehyun stumbles over his denial.

“Whatever,” Jaehyun mutters, “now I don’t like either of you.”

Mark snorts. “So you used to like one of us?”

Either Jaehyun is more of a fool than he originally thought he was or God decides to smite him, because in that moment he can’t think of a single thing to say. Neither can Renjun, apparently, because the two of them fall silent while Mark sits there and laughs on his own.

“Oh shit,” Mark says once he stops. “Did you guys, like, have a thing?”

“You’re so stupid,” Renjun tells him.

“It’s not that kind of like,” Jaehyun blurts out, “it’s just how I show people I’m thinking of them. But that’s not why I send them to Renjun. I would never do anything like that with him, oh my god.”

Renjun shakes his head, “Breathe.”

“You guys are such bad liars,” Mark snorts. “You’re both, like, panicky.”

“Anyway,” Jaehyun laughs loudly and nervously, probably just proving Mark’s point even further. “I send people stuff because I like to make them laugh but I’m not very funny. So yeah.”

“Right,” Mark winks. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

“I kind of really don’t like you right now,” Jaehyun tells him.

“So no TikToks?”

Jaehyun doesn’t respond before he throws a packet of parmesan cheese at him.

—

renjun, mark (3:58 am)

jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok

renjun: is this what u were cackling about

mark: i didn’t hear anything

renjun: bc ur in johnny’s big ass fancy ass room

mark: ex room
mark: it’s my room for now

jaehyun: can u pls focus

mark: hahahaha those are so funny

jaehyun: ok bullies forget i said anything

renjun: u got it boss

——

The first time Jaehyun is left at home alone with Mark is done completely against his will. Noone even tells him before he walks in and sees Mark sitting on the couch completely on his own.

“Is Jun in his room?” Jaehyun asks, and Mark says no.

Jaehyun excuses himself to go shower and get out of his work clothes, but mostly uses the twenty minutes it takes to freak out. Should he stay in his room or should he go out and sit with Mark? Are they that close? Will Mark see it as a slight if he chooses to stay in his room?

Jaehyun has no idea. He’s still trying to wrap his hair in his towel so he can put on moisturizer when Mark just waltzes into his room and asks if he knows where the switch box is.

“Why?”

“The electricity shut off in the living room,” Mark tells him.

“What?”

It only takes Jaehyun a few minutes to do a sad approximation of a skin care routine and then he’s shuffling down the stairs with Mark right behind him. The switch box is in the garage, but Jaehyun stops in the living room first to flick the light switch up and down to see if the electricity will magically fix itself. No luck there, so he leads the way to the garage.

Once he’s face to face with the switchbox, Jaehyun has no idea what to do. He’d seen Johnny mess with it a million times, but everything he’d ever explained to Jaehyun always went in one ear and out the other. Now that he needs the information, he’s kind of regretting constantly ignoring Johnny.

“You’re not doing anything,” Mark tells him.

“We should probably just call the landlord,” Jaehyun says, “I have no idea which one is the living room.”

Mark shoves Jaehyun away from the box and takes his place. “Here, I think Johnny explained what to do one time.”

“Mark,” Jaehyun starts, but never finishes once Mark starts flipping switches and pressing buttons. On the fifth switch, the light in the garage goes out.

“Guess we know what that one does,” Mark mutters, flipping the switch back the other way. The light doesn’t come back on.

“It didn’t work.”

“I know it didn’t work,” Mark bites. “I think I flipped a different switch the second time.” There’s another click as Mark starts fumbling around the box again, but the garage light still doesn’t turn back on. Jaehyun feels along the wall for the light switch under Mark’s order, but nothing changes as he flips it back and forth.

“Oh fuck,” Mark whispers. “Go try the living room again.”

It only takes a minute for what’s happened to settle in. Jaehyun can’t even get to the living room because the light in the kitchen won’t turn on and he doesn’t have his phone. He tells Mark exactly that, and after a few more clicks, Mark confirms what Jaehyun had feared from the start.

“I think I fucked it up.”

Fortunately, Jaehyun has a go bag exactly for moments like this. Jaehyun texts the landlord to let him know that he needs to call an electrician out, and then drags the go bag into the house. Inside are emergency blankets, a first aid kit, pre-charged portable chargers, flashlights, candles, matches, and different care packages for a variety of natural disasters they could get caught up in.

“Holy shit,” Mark breathes, “are you a prepper?”

“I just like to be prepared,” Jaehyun tells him as they both crawl up the stairs to get his phone. Jaehyun was too scared to go alone. “I have one in my car too.”

“You’re nuts,” Mark says, even as he plugs his phone into one of the chargers.

The duo set up in the living room, neither one of them feeling particularly inclined to go to their rooms. Jaehyun lights the candles around the room for an optimal light field. His phone is also dying, so he plugs it into one of the chargers and has to tell Mark that they can’t be on the phones while they’re plugged in.

“It’ll drain the battery too fast,” he explains with a grimace.

Well and truly alone, things get uncomfortable. Quickly. In the beginning they’re both just sitting in silence. Jaehyun has no idea what to say or how to start a conversation at the moment, and it seems like Mark doesn’t either.

“So,” Mark starts after what feels like forever, “what’s with the bag?”

Jaehyun sighs, “When I was thirteen my family got snowed in for like four days and we were very much not prepared. It got kind of dire before we finally got out, and ever since then I’ve had a go bag.”

“Dude,” Mark whistles.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun huffs a short laugh. “When I got my first car my mom made me one for my car, and then once I moved out she made me a bigger one to keep around.”

“Do your parents have one? Your siblings?”

“Yeah, my mom has one. She made my sister one when she moved out too but I don’t know if she kept it or not.”

“Well, it’s helpful for now,” Mark chirps.

Jaehyun hums in agreement. “Can I ask you a question now?”

“Is it about to be super personal and invasive?”

“Only a little.”

“Go ahead, then.”.

Jaehyun takes a minute to make himself say it, but changes his question at the last minute. “Why did you apply to grad school so young?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Mark tells him. “If I didn’t I never would have.”

Jaehyun pauses. “What does that mean?”

“Exactly what I said. My parents actually wanted me to go get a job for a few years before I went back but I knew if I stepped away from school for any amount of time I would never go back.”

“Can I ask why?”

Mark rests his head on his hand and hums as he thinks. “I don’t know if I ever told you,” Mark continues, “but I got my associates when I got my highschool diploma. Then right after I came here, and now I’m going right into grad school. I don’t think if I stopped I could restart, and my parents made it really super clear that I’m required to get at least a masters.”

“And that’s why they made you move out?”

“Kind of,” Mark shrugs, “they’re just sorta like that. It’s why I’m avoiding them this summer. I wanted a few months to myself before I have to start hearing how far behind I am.”

The explanation is the complete opposite of anything that Jaehyun expected. He knew about the high school thing, but he assumed that Mark was fast tracking college to enter the workforce early and start making money. Jaehyun thought that Mark had the next ten years of his life planned out to the minute and that was why he was plowing through everything so easily.

“But what about that talk we had?” Jaehyun blurts.

Mark’s head tilts. “What talk?”

Jaehyun gapes. The talk that changed the direction of my life forever, he wants to cry.

“Remember when you helped me redo my room? And you told me that I shouldn’t let my parents' expectations burden me and ruin my life?”

“Oh yeah!” Mark perks up, “I was just telling you what I always wanted someone to tell me.”

“Dude, why not take your own advice?” Jaehyun presses.

“It’s not that easy,” Mark says.

Jaehyun shakes his head. “Mark, you got a high school diploma and associate's degree concurrently. You got your bachelor’s at twenty years old. I’m proud of you and I have no significance in your life. There’s no reason you should be driving yourself in the ground just for your parents.”

Mark sticks his bottom lip out. “Dude, that means a lot to me. Thank you.”

“I mean it,” Jaehyun promises.

After that it’s easier to talk to each other. Jaehyun thinks that getting a little too personal with people might be his new go-to when trying to make connections with how well it’s worked out this time.

Mark tells him about his major, and his new roommates. In return, Jaehyun tells him funny stories about the people who go to the roller rink. When Mark goes further in his explanation about his parents and what they want from him (apparently he has two overachieving siblings that have complicated the matter even more), Jaehyun tells him about how he doesn’t speak to his father anymore and why he left home so quickly at the beginning of the summer.

There’s something about being in the dark that makes it easier to hold a conversation with Mark. Maybe it’s because Jaehyun can’t see how his eyes twinkle and shine like they have real stars living inside of them, or because with a pitch black house it seems like they’re in between dimensions, and everything is nonconsequential in purgatory. Whatever the reason, Jaehyun is grateful for it.

“I don’t know man,” Jaehyun sighs out, sliding down until he’s laying flat against the floor. “It’s just like, families. Ya know? There’s always some fucked up shit happening in them.”

Mark hums in agreement, following Jaehyun’s lead and laying down on the floor, close enough that Jaehyun can feel the heat from Mark’s arm radiate onto his own. They opened the windows some time before to try and cool down the house. “Don’t I know it. Sometimes I think everyone has this great relationship with their families and mine is the only one that’s fucked up. Then I remember all of my friends in high school telling me they wished they had my parents and I realize everyone’s probably faking it like we did. I can never tell if that makes me feel better or worse.”

“There’s probably someone out there who likes their family,” Jaehyun wrinkles his nose, “Somewhere.”

“In a far away land,” Mark snorts, “Probably in Denmark or something.”

“Denmark?”

“Yeah, man. They’re like the happiest people in the world or some shit.”

“Denmark? Is that even a real place?”

Mark laughs, and Jaehyun can feel more than he can see him turning on his side, facing Jaehyun. “Denmark is very real. It’s in Europe.”

“Well that’s why they’re happy,” Jaehyun scoffs, “They probably have one of those hippy governments who care about their citizens and actively try to help them.”

“Lame ass losers,” Mark sneers.

“Exactly,” Jaehyun nods.

“Who needs a government anyways,” Mark asks, “We have these flashlights and chargers and that’s all we need.”

“We should just move into a bunker.” Jaehyun decides, “Then we don’t have to deal with their bullshit.”

“I agree.” Mark nods. “Who’s ‘they’, exactly?”

“You know,” Jaehyun motions in front of himself vaguely, even though neither of them can really see it, “Them.”

“Ah,” He hums, “I get that now. My bad.”

It’s another hour of them speaking quietly in the dark before Renjun gets home. Jaehyun and Mark crawl to hide behind the couch once they hear his keys rattling in the lock. The door opens and Jaehyun’s ears just pick up on Renjun flicking the light switch up and down before Mark’s leaping up with a battle cry. Renjun screams and Jaehyun hears a loud thunk as Mark crumples to the ground.

“Fucking hell,” Renjun cries, “why would you do that?”

“What the fuck did you throw at me, a dumbbell?” Mark gasps.

“It was just a shoe,” Renjun dismisses, “you’re lucky it wasn’t a deadly weapon!”

Jaehyun lifts himself up from his hiding spot slowly, not at all eager to meet the same fate as Mark just did.

“What happened to the lights?” Renjun asks him.

“They just shut off,” Mark groans from the floor, “there was a weird noise and then we lost power.”

“Well did you check the switch box?”

Mark pulls himself onto the couch. “No, we thought we should wait for an electrician.”

Renjun turns on the flashlight from his phone and trudges to the garage. Jaehyun gets up to follow, but makes sure to shake his head at Mark for his lies before he follows. Mark shrugs and smiles innocently, and Jaehyun can’t stop himself from smiling back.

It takes less than five minutes for Renjun to fix the electricity. At first Jaehyun thinks he’s flipping switches randomly like Mark had, but he quickly realizes there’s actually a pattern Renjun is following. After it’s all completed, Renjun closes the door and rams his shoulder into it once, and then light floods the garage.

“Dude,” Jaehyun gapes, “you’re like a genius or something.”

“Didn’t Johnny ever teach you how to fix it?” Renjun asks.

Jaehyun shakes his head. “No, dude. I must’ve been out of the house whenever the power went out before.” He feels a little bad about his fib. But he blames Mark for being a bad influence.

“Y’all would be lost without me,” Renjun sighs, patting Jaehyun on the shoulder once before turning and heading back into the house.

Jaehyun walks back in to see Mark digging through the freezer.

“What are you up to?” he asks.

“Making sure nothing defrosted,” Mark tells him, turning around to wink at him. “I think we successfully got away with it.”

“You’re pathological,” Jaehyun tells him.

“It can be our little secret,” Mark says.

Jaehyun hides how giddy that makes him. Their secret.

“Technically it’s all your fault,” Jaehyun says, “but I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to.”

Mark rolls his eyes but he’s still smiling a little bit. “Thank you for your discretion.”

“My pleasure,” Jaehyun teases. “I’m gonna head to bed.”

Mark nods. “Okay, goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Jaehyun echos, ducking his head and exiting the room before Mark can notice how red his ears are getting.

—

renjun, mark (2:37 am)
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: i am sobbing uncontrollably
jaehyun: we should get a cat

mark: seconded

renjun: we have a no pet lease

mark: just lie

renjun: also pets cost a shit ton of money

jaehyun: why do you have to shit on my dreams

renjun: is being realistic shitting on ur dreams???

mark: yuh

renjun: oh my god

—

Things change after that night. Nothing major, but Jaehyun’s positive he can sense a shift.

First, he and Mark are full fledged friends. Renjun spends a week leaving them with each other as he frolics around with some guy he met at a cafe, and neither of them mind. Mark even tells him it’s nice to hang out together the third time they do.

Second, the picture perfect image Jaehyun had of Mark slowly gets chipped away as he recognizes Mark as a flawed individual. Someone who lies to get themselves out of trouble, and ignores his parents, and has a hard time knowing when to step away. It’s new for Jaehyun, who had spent so long idolizing Mark that he slowly had to come to terms with the fact that he knew next to nothing about the man.

Jaehyun’s crush fades away as he learns about Mark as himself, and not as Jaehyun wanted him to be. As their friendship progresses, Jaehyun focuses more on the new sides of Mark he’s learning, and less on all the ways he wants him.

It’s nice to have Mark as a friend, Jaehyun decides. He’s not an enigma, he’s not Mark Lee, future doctor (Mark admitted that a masters degree was going to be as far as he took his education), he’s just Mark. The same Mark that nags about the dishes and constantly parks with his tires hanging over the driveway and into the grass. The same Mark that consistently makes Jaehyun late to work because he forgets Jaehyun works and doesn’t move his car. To the point that Jaehyun just lets him start parking in the garage, and is immediately suspicious that it was all part of a plan to get Mark a covered parking spot.

Then, one day, Jaehyun is sitting in the kitchen waiting for Mark to come downstairs before he goes to work. As he checks the clock impatiently, Jaehyun suddenly has a moment of clarity where he realizes what he’s doing and what it means.

Jaehyun combs over the past few weeks in his head to figure out how this has happened a second time only to realize the first time never fully went away. Instead, his crush merely transformed into what it is now.

A specific sort of longing to keep his life the way it is.

—

mark, donghyuck (1:04 am)
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: for ur dumb rarepair
jaehyun: thank me l8r
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok

donghyuck: why is mark in here

jaehyun: oh my god
jaehyun: it was supposed to b u and renjun

mark: ,,,
mark: this is awkward

jaehyun: holy fuck

mark
mark: so…
mark: haikyuu is p good

jaehyun: look, there’s actually rly high quality work available

mark: hey, no judgment from me
mark: is this why you’re always on your phone

jaehyun: no comment

mark: bc i knew there was no way you had that many friends

jaehyun: ouch

mark: not like that
mark: a little like that
mark: ur just awkward and shy

jaehyun: i managed to make friends w u

mark: after two years

jaehyun: u know what
jaehyun: i’m busy

mark: ok
mark: have fun w ur fics

jaehyun: i will

—

1408 roomies (12:21 am)
jaehyun: tiktok jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: miss u guys

jungwoo: geeeeeeezzzz
jungwoo: we can tell

johnny: actually jae’s nightly vids r getting me through my 9-5 rn

donghyuck: miss u 2 jae
donghyuck: we’ll be back soon

johnny: not all of us

donghyuck: ok buzz kill
donghyuck: most of us will

jaehyun: tell me how funny my fyp is

jungwoo: don’t indulge him

jaehyun: hate

—

“You know, I used to think you hated me.”

Jaehyun jolts, choking on the vodka cranberry he’d just taken a drink of. Renjun leans over the middle of the couch to slap him on the back until he’s done.

“You thought I hated you?” Jaehyun rasps. Mark nods. “Until when?”

“This summer,” Mark tells him with a shrug.

“I guess we’re doing this,” Renjun mutters.

“Why did you think I hated you?”

Mark looks at him in disbelief. “Dude, for real? You avoided me like the plague, you disappeared from the group chat every time I responded, you refused to drink around me. The list goes on and on.”

“That wasn’t,” Jaehyun tries.

Renjun leans over to whisper, “Dude, you’re, like, super obvious,” into Jaehyun’s ear.

“I didn’t even want to hang out here this summer but Junnie said one of my roommates made him nervous so we had to. And then you ended up actually being pretty cool and now we’re buds.”

“I never hated you,” Jaehyun promises. “I was just working through some stuff.”

“About me?” Mark scoffs. “It’s fine if you didn’t vibe with me at first, Donghyuck used to tell me I was too intense.”

“It really wasn’t dislike,” Renjun mutters.

Mark blinks at him in surprise. “Hm?”

“I never disliked you,” Jaehyun continues before Renjun can, “I’m just an idiot.”

“What,” Mark laughs giddily, “did you have a crush or something?”

Jaehyun’s body locks up and Mark’s eyes widen. “No fucking way.”

“I’m going to bed,” Jaehyun announces, pushing himself up. “See y’all in the morning.”

Nobody says anything as Jaehyun takes off.

—

mark (2:22)
mark: hey
mark: uh sorry if i made you uncomfortable earlier
mark: it’s weird talking to myself
mark: anyway
mark: tiktok
mark: tiktok
mark: tiktok
mark: tiktok
mark: tiktok
mark: tiktok
Mark: enjoy :)

—

Jaehyun wakes up to the sound of Mark and Renjun arguing in the kitchen. It takes a moment for him to get ready, having to dig through the clothes lining his floor to find his work polo that’s not covered in ice cream. When he makes it out of his room, a tray of half-burnt muffins are on the counter and Renjun is scooping more muffin batter into another tray.

“It smells like shit in here,” Jaehyun tells him, avoiding the pastries and reaching for a yogurt from the fridge.

“Mark set the oven too high,” Renjun explains, “I fixed it for this batch.”

Jaehyun hums like he’s not interested. “Did he already leave?”

Renjun rolls his eyes. “He’s changing.”

It’s nice to have Mark back in the house again, but Jaehyun’s brain is scrambling up what that means and how he’s supposed to act. When Mark lived with them before, he was usually out of the house before Jaehyun even woke up. Now that Jaehyun’s waking up to him making muffins for breakfast, what his brain does with that image is setting him up for failure.

“You’re so gross,” Renjun grumbles at the dopey look on Jaehyun’s face.

“You’re gross,” Jaehyun shoots back.

Mark walks back into the room then and they both shut up. There’s nothing Jaehyun wants more than to melt into the floor, but he has to get to the stand in thirty minutes and there’s really no time for that.

“I thought you didn’t work on the weekends,” Mark says.

Jaehyun tries not to feel giddy at the thought that he’s been paying attention to when Jaehyun works. “My manager switched me to day shifts so I agreed to go in on Saturday’s,” he explains.

“That sucks,” Mark pouts. “We were gonna go see that new superhero movie.”

“No worries,” Jaehyun smiles, “you can just tell me about it later.”

“I guess I’ll have to,” Mark replies easily.

Renjun coughs. “Jae, you’ll be late if you don’t leave soon.”

Jaehyun checks the time on his phone and swears. “Damn, okay. I’ll see you guys later.”

“You should eat before you go! Muffin?” Mark offers. Jaehyun actually considers it for a moment before Mark seems to remember what state the cooked muffins are currently in and colors bright red. “Uh, nevermind.”

“I’ll try one when I get off,” Jaehyun promises, ignoring the looks Renjun’s throwing at the both of them. Jaehyun has no clue if Mark is trying to act normal in the face of what has happened or if he’s trying to act like nothing happened at all. Jaehyun’s just happy things are relatively normal between them.

It’s not until he’s at work that Jaehyun checks his phone and sees all the messages from the night before. There’s a weird feeling in his stomach as he clicks through the videos Mark sent him. Jaehyun can’t tell if it’s hope or embarrassment. He honestly thinks it might be some kind of mix of the two.

Jaehyun’s work day happens around him. He’s much too distracted to focus on anything and ends up being forced to clean the back room after he gives the fifth kid in a row the wrong cup of ice cream.

Once Jaehyun’s finally home, he rushes into the house and finds Mark and Renjun on the couch watching the Great British Bake Off. Mark turns when the door opens and smiles at Jaehyun when he stutters out that he’s going to shower and change.

Nothing’s different when Jaehyun makes it back downstairs. He still sits by the arm of the couch, Renjun hogs the popcorn, and Mark talks over most of the show as he explains his thoughts and opinions on the deserts. Jaehyun tries not to feel disappointed when Mark doesn’t confess his everlasting love, or smack a big wet kiss on him during the boring parts of the show.

It doesn’t work.

He must’ve been connecting paths that didn’t exist after all. Jaehyun forces himself to feel all the disappointment and nerves before he lets them go. Just as a reminder.

mark (8:48 pm)
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok

mark: not in the gc?

jaehyun: renjun told me none of my tiktoks were funny
jaehyun: so now he doesn’t get any

mark: omg so i’m special now

jaehyun: i mean
jaehyun: yeah

mark: exactly what i wanted to hear

mark:tiktok
mark: tiktok
mark: tiktok

—

Jaehyun’s practically vibrating the next time Renjun leaves. They haven’t been alone together since before the night they were drinking. Jaehyun thinks if Mark’s going to do anything or confess at all it has to be now, before the school year starts and muddles everything.

But nothing happens. Jaehyun spends about an hour calming himself down and preparing for the worst in his room before he goes to any common areas. He works through every possible scenario, good and bad, until his heart is no longer racing in any way, but when he walks downstairs Mark is nowhere to be found.

Jaehyun sort of wanders around for a moment as he tries to find him, but no dice. Eventually he ends up just sitting on the couch and hoping that at some point Mark shows up again. And he does, twenty minutes later, walking in with a CVS bag.

“Hey!” Mark grins. “I got us snacks.”

“Thank you,” Jaehyun says sincerely. Mark doesn’t kiss him.

Jaehyun digs through the bag. Mark doesn’t kiss him.

Jaehyun picks all the rye crackers out of his Chex Mix and puts them to the side for Mark. Who does not kiss him.

They’re both just hanging out on the couch, not really talking, both absorbed in their own thing. Mark looks like he’s texting somebody, but Jaehyun’s busy staring at Mark.

“Is there something you needed?” Mark asks teasingly after he’s caught Jaehyun’s blatant staring for the tenth time.

“Nothing,” Jaehyun shakes his head, pretending to pay attention to the book on his lap long enough for Mark to look away. It’s only a few seconds before Mark’s gaze snaps back over to him and Jaehyun smiles sheepishly.

Mark still doesn’t kiss him.

——

mark (12:33 pm)

mark: will you please remind jun to bring my green hoodie before he leaves the house

jaehyun: i’m at work :/

mark: i thought you went in at 2?

jaehyun: i had to come in early to cover a shift

mark: ugh
mark: okay nbd i’m sure he’ll remember

jaehyun: right

mark: right

renjun (12:40 pm)

jaehyun: mark said not to forget his green hoodie

renjun: what r u his lackey now?

jaehyun: u stole his hoodie

renjun: he gave it to me

jaehyun: to borrow
jaehyun: bc u wouldn’t stop complaining about how cold you were

renjun: ur just jealous

jaehyun: and if i am

renjun: whipped

jaehyun: wtv just give him the hoodie
jaehyun: i have to get back to work

renjun: bring back a cookie cake

jaehyun: we’ll see

mark (12:43 pm)

mark: oh i forgot
mark: tiktok
mark: tiktok
mark: tiktok
mark: tiktok
mark: tiktok
mark: tiktok
mark: :]

——

Jaehyun makes it home before the other two do. They’d gone to some kind of interactive museum that Jaehyun had no interest in, but they both wanted the Instagram pictures. Jaehyun finds the green hoodie folded and left on the couch. As he takes it to Mark’s room, he can’t help but wonder if Renjun left it there on purpose just to be annoying. Like he’d almost brought it for Mark to wear but conveniently forgot at the last minute.

No matter what the reason may be, all thoughts leave Jaehyun’s mind when he pushes the door open and sees Mark’s room packed back up.

Through the past month or so of Mark’s time back in the house, he’d begun to collect a bunch of clutter. Not in an uncontrollable way, just in a way that made it obvious that the room was once again lived in. Now, all of that is gone. There’s two small boxes taped up by the wall and a large suitcase open on the floor like Mark was in the middle of packing it.

Jaehyun places the hoodie carefully onto the mattress before he rushes out of the room and into his own to try and process. It sucked when Mark moved out the first time, but he and Jaehyun weren’t that close and Jaehyun had a month to prepare. Now Mark is one of his closest friends and it looks like he’s leaving in the next few hours. Jaehyun has no idea how to cope.

Jaehyun knows that he should ask Mark what’s going on before he starts melting down and jumping to conclusions, but Mark and Renjun don’t get home for another hour, and that is more than enough time for Jaehyun to run through countless scenarios, each one more extreme than the last. Jaehyun dicks around on his phone to try and distract himself but almost immediately goes to send Mark a TikTok and reminds himself of the entire situation all over again.

When Mark gets back, Jaehyun has no clue if he even wants to see him. He really probably should ask, but he also has no clue if the answer is going to make him feel better or worse. Jaehyun goes downstairs anyway, just to see what Mark does.

“Hey,” Renjun nods when Jaehyun walks into the kitchen, “have you seen Mark’s hoodie? It was on the couch.”

“I put it in his room,” Jaehyun says.

“That was sweet of you,” Mark smiles kindly.

Jaehyun shrugs. “All your stuff is packed up?” He phrases it like a question so Mark doesn’t feel cornered.

“Oh yeah,” Mark sighs. “YangYang is moving into it next week so I’m leaving tomorrow. I told you guys in the group chat.”

Jaehyun’s heart drops into his ass. He’d been ignoring the group chat ever since he and Mark had started texting regularly just between the two of them.

“Ah, I must have missed it.”

“We’re gonna watch the new season of Love Island tonight if you want to join us,” Mark says.

Jaehyun grimaces, “Sorry, I think I’m going to skip this one. I have a bit of a headache.”

“You should take a Tylenol,” Renjun tells him. “So you can get over it soon.”

Jaehyun glares at him. “I think I just need to sleep it off and I’ll feel better in the morning.

“Whatever you say,” Renjun mutters, turning away from him. Jaehyun rolls his eyes and turns to go back to his room without another word.

—

Jaehyun doesn’t have a headache. Obviously. But he does need a plan.

Jaehyun spends most of the night searching for tips on how to confess to a friend without ruining their friendship. Almost all of the lists he finds are based on a woman confessing to a man, but he tries to pick out good advice anyway. He also puts both of their names into like five different compatibility tests and averages out the percentages.

By the end of the night Jaehyun is nowhere closer to having answers than he was before. All he knows is that they have an average compatibility of 87% and their zodiac signs kind of go together but not really. Jaehyun’s still not entirely sure he’s even going to be able to say anything before Mark leaves.

Really, he should’ve seen it coming. Jaehyun’s last shift of the summer is coming up. The school year is starting in a few weeks. Mark doesn’t actually pay them rent anymore. But he was so caught up in everything, having such a good time, that he ignored it all. And now he’s spending Mark’s last night in the house trying to use a bunch of promposals as ideas to ask Mark out on a date.

Jaehyun’s over it. He’s over being unsure and nervous over what is essentially nothing. Mark is a nice guy. He was cool when he found out about Jaehyun’s crush before, there’s no reason to believe a second crush would be received worse.

He goes downstairs. Luckily for him Mark and Renjun are still watching tv.

“Hey,” Jaehyun whispers and he shimmies his way in between them.

“I thought your head hurt,” Mark whispers back.

Jaehyun shrugs, “I took a Tylenol,” he says as he scoots over until their legs are touching.

—

Jaehyun’s helping Mark fit his stuff into his tiny Prius when it happens.

The three of them had spent the day together, piling up all of Mark’s stuff from around the house and deep cleaning what is now Yangyang’s room. No matter how difficult Jaehyun’s head is being, he still does his best to be present in the moment and soak everything up. Not only is Mark moving out a sign of Jaehyun’s second failure to secure his heart, it also marks the end of the summer. Which means the semester is starting soon.

It doesn’t take long to get Mark ready to go. He really doesn’t have a lot of stuff around, and he’s been so tidy the whole time most of his stuff is already in mini piles. When they’re done, the trio order pizza and eat it on the couch as they talk over whatever show is on. Jaehyun doesn’t pay it enough attention to even register.

“This summer was so nice,” Mark sighs. “I can’t believe I’m going to have to go to school and be miserable again.”

“Tell me about it,” Jaehyun grumbles. “I already know senior year is going to drag on and go entirely too fast at the same time.”

“I’m not even close to graduating,” Renjun scoffs. “Don’t start with me.”

The conversation shifts to Jaehyun and Renjun’s soon to be new roommates, and Mark gives them the low down on the Jeno and Donghyuck feud.

“They hate each other because of peer reviews?” Renjun asks disbelievingly. Mark nods.

“Donghyuck is so dumb,” Jaehyun mutters.

They clean up lunch and shove all of Mark’s stuff into his car. Jaehyun’s just shoved in Mark’s pillows when he turns around and they bump right into each other.

“Oops,” Mark giggles, “sorry.”

Jaehyun smiles at him. “Hey,” he starts, “would you want to get dinner some time?”

Mark pauses, “Like, as a date?”

“As a date,” Jaehyun confirms.

“Yeah,” Mark nods, grinning wide. “I can’t believe it took you this long to ask, but yeah.”

Jaehyun pouts. “You could’ve asked as well.”

“You said you used to have a crush on me,” Mark admonishes. “I had no idea if that was still a thing.”

“It was obviously still a thing.” Jaehyun says.

“Maybe,” Mark shrugs, “but what’s the fun in my just blurting it out anyways?”

For a moment Jaehyun thinks they are about to kiss, but Renjun walks out and ruins the moment before anything can happen.

“Come hang out sometime,” Renjun tells Mark. “If you’re too busy I’m going to rip up your paperwork.”

“I’ll find time,” Mark promises as they hug. Jaehyun’s heart warms at the sight of them, a visual reminder that Renjun’s not always a giant jerk.

Mark pulls away from his friend and spins to face Jaehyun and tug him down into a tight hug of his own. “Text me so we can work out the details.”

“I will,” Jaehyun promises.

Mark lets him go and takes a deep breath before saying goodbye one more time and eventually driving away. Renjun and Jaehyun stay in the driveway and wave until they can’t see his car anymore.

“You know he lives like a ten minute drive away, right?”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun sighs and knocks his hip into Renjun’s, “but the dramatics are more fun, don’t you think?”

Renjun shrugs. “Maybe a little bit.”

—

~two months later~

mark (1:09 am)

jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok
jaehyun: tiktok

mark: i’m gna piss my pants laughing at the last one

Jaehyun smiles giddily at his screen before he rolls over. “I like the leprechaun.”

“I do too,” Mark agrees, cupping Jaehyun’s chin to pull him into a kiss. “He seems sweet.”

“Not as sweet as me, though. Right?”

“Right,” Mark smiles, “you’re the sweetest ever.” Jaehyun sighs happily and closes his eyes, resting his head on Mark’s chest. His phone dings and Jaehyun has to force himself back awake to check it.

mark (1:15 am)
mark: tiktok

“I like you so much,” Jaehyun tells him.

“I like you so much,” Mark echoes.

And Jaehyun’s life is completely happy. At least until midterms.