Work Text:
“Love hug!”
“Adam, what are you-?!”
A turn. A hit. Arms wrapping around his waist.
Silence.
A bubbling laugh.
“It worked!”
Eyes, shining in delight, bright red, like fire. Eyebrows raised, mouth open in a large grin. Pride. Happiness. Love.
How?
How had he turned into such a monster ?
“You want to know why I never answered your calls for a beef?”
Kaoru narrowed his eyes, staring at Adam as they raced down the track, a few feet apart. The masked face turned to him and a sarcastic smirk curled up on his face.
“Because you are boring .”
Boring?
“You are amazing! Teach me that trick, come on!”
“Okay I will, but it’s hard, you have to be careful Adam.”
“Oh please, skating is about getting hurt! I don’t care, show me!”
“Alright!”
“Alright!”
He would be lying if he said the words hurt more than the skateboard hitting his face straight up at high speeds, but they didn’t stay far behind in the pain scale.
It was like Adam had hit his face and his heart all at once, with the same shot, the same move.
Even if he could move… he wouldn’t.
He deserved it.
He belonged on the ground, humiliated. Bleeding.
“Cherry!”
Arms pushing him to the side, hands holding his face, worried eyes checking for wounds. There was a drop of liquid falling down his eyebrow, one a thumb stopped. The thumb turned back red. Blood.
Bleeding.
“Kaoru?”
A warm sensation.
A bubbling laugh.
Coming out of his mouth, out into the world.
A grin, imitated. Reciprocated.
“That… was… awesome…”
Louder laugh, accompanied. Like a duet. Like a choir. The blood, forgotten in the dirt.
Free.
Someone was holding him close, warm, muttering something. He could barely hear it, it was all muffled by the pain and disorientation. His eyes blinked open slowly, hoping, wishing, needing, to see blood red eyes and blue hair staring down at him.
Instead, he found grass green and warm brown.
Comforting. Old. Familiar.
“Kaoru?”
He groaned and closed his eyes again, unable to stop the burning sensation behind his eyes. Why, why was he such a fool? Why did he allow himself to believe that there was yet something behind the mask, something behind the horrifying monster?
Why couldn’t those feelings be directed to something else entirely?
“We are taking you to the hospital. You will be okay.”
He wouldn’t.
Not until he had found in himself the strength to let go of that obsession, that sick, harmful passion.
Not until he exchanged exotic, dangerous and exciting, for familiar, warm and safe.
Not until his heart settled.
“He left!”
Tears slid down his eyes, hot and angry, as the cold breeze hit his face and made him shiver on the spot. The sound of the waves made his cry almost pathetic. His heart was hurting, squeezing inside his chest.
Hands, warm and gentle, reached for him, but he moved away and slapped them off, eyes focused on the sea, on its waves, its rage.
“After everything, he left… and he didn’t even seem… like he cared…”
A ridiculous sob came out of his mouth and he covered it up with his hand, trying to stop it, the crying, the tears, the pain. He couldn’t find himself to close his eyes, however, because the sea was deep blue and the sky was blood red and he missed him.
He missed him.
Letting out a cry of rage and pain, he slammed his fists against the handrail and kicked the skateboard away from him, under the metal, into the water. His favorite board, falling down the cliff into the rocks, into the sea, breaking apart. He didn’t care.
It didn’t make sense without him.
Only the sound of the waves.
And a warm pair of arms.
And tears.
And a bleeding heart.
“The doctors said you’ll be fine.”
He didn’t lift his eyes from his hands, staring at them mindlessly. He had bandages all over his body, on his head, his face. Nothing unusual, but the reasoning behind it… so odd.
He should have seen it coming.
“The others are here to see you” he continued, and his eyes lifted up to stare at the familiar man near him. Same grass green hair. Same warm brown eyes. No smile. “Should I let them inside?”
“Why?”
They were silent, and he gripped the sheets for comfort. He didn’t understand. He couldn’t. The silence continued, a demonstration that the man knew exactly what he was on about. A demonstration that he would not speak, unless probed.
“Why do you put up with me?”
Their eyes met again, and warm brown seemed to sadden, become dull, less bright. He took a deep breath, shoulders relaxed, and he looked away, shrugging quietly.
“Because I get it” was his answer, another shrug following it, arms crossing over his chest, protective, over his heart. “Because everything you feel for him… while less obsessive perhaps… is what I feel for you.”
He knew the answer.
It didn’t hurt any less.
But it was a different hurt, because any drop, any inch of hope he might have had for the red eyes and blue hair was gone, dissipated, replaced by disgust and hatred instead.
And perhaps in that deep, deep wound, there was a small space for a new type of love to arise.
But it would need time, and thus, he did not speak, not when he looked back, not when he left the room.
He wasn’t ready. But he would be.
“I know you love him.”
Their eyes met in the pier, Kaoru’s filled with tears of anger and sadness, wide in surprise, but Kojiro’s were calm and resolute, and warm, so warm.
“And you know I love you.”
The pain, like alcohol on a fresh wound, that burnt like the guilt he felt deep inside his core, for not loving the person who loved him in return, who cared for him, who had been there for him since they were born.
“But none of that matters. No matter what. Even if you never, ever love me back. I will always be there for you.”
And he was.
Always was.
And now, it was time, for Kaoru to get up to speed and meet him in the middle.