Archive of Our Own ^beta

When they first met they didn't really touch at all. Eduardo was raised in a home where affection wasn't at the top of the priorities, especially not when his father was around. If it was up to Mr. Saverin, men shouldn't really hug at all. Despite this his mother did hug him, especially when he was a child, but it wasn't often these days that he was home to be on the receiving end of that.

Then there was also the issue with Mark, and his closed off body language. Mark looked like someone who would coil away at the smallest touch, everything about his expression just screamed 'do not touch' to Eduardo.

They had shook hands at the first AEPi party they had met at. Eduardo had reached out, with his trained smile plastered on his face. Mark had awkwardly taken it, but that was it for the first long while.

It didn't take very long before Eduardo started hanging out a lot more in the Kirkland suite with Mark and his roommates. He felt so comfortable around them, and it was so much better than the quiet of his own single room over at Elliot. There were always sounds of life and joy in the Kirkland suite, from Chris and Dustin's arguing to the video game matches and the beers clinking, but Eudardos favorite sound was the sound of Mark's fast typing on his keyboard. He would often hang out in Mark's room while he was coding, and just read or work on his own homework, and when he had to leave, he would reach out and touch Mark's shoulder lightly. At this, Mark would stop typing and turn his head toward Eduardo as he said goodbye. Eduardo would always want to let his touch linger, to reach out and hug him, squeeze him tight and then let go to leave, but he was still afraid that Mark would be uncomfortable with the touch, all the while his father’s disgust would echo in his head. So he lifted his hand quickly and backed out of the room as he made it to wherever he was going after.

It stayed like this for a good while, a touch to the shoulder, a pat on the back, but with so much restraint from Eduardo's side, as he still feared making Mark uncomfortable, or overstepping the boundaries of their friendship. He considered Mark one of his best friends at this point, and it was as though there was a magnetic draw in him, something that made Eduardo want to stay close, lean in, reach out. But he fought it every time.

It all changes at one of the many movie nights in the Kirkland dorm. They are watching one of the Star Wars prequels and Mark has actually put his laptop down to focus on the movie. Chris is out on a date, and Dustin has fallen asleep halfway through the movie, snoring lightly from his end of the couch. Mark and Eduardo are sitting rather close at this point, with Mark by the armrest and Eduardo pushed up against him from Dustin's stretched out legs. Eduardo is hyper aware of how close they are, fearing it is making Mark uncomfortable, but Mark hasn't seemed to notice, his attention fully on the movie, so Eduardo tries his best to do the same.

This doesn't last for very long though, because Mark starts to move, stretches his neck until it cracks, and settles back with his head now resting on Eduardo's shoulder. Eduardo stiffens shortly before relaxing again, noticing how Mark seems comfortable in his spot, still paying attention to the movie. In a fit of bravery Eduardo shifts his arm, pushing Mark off momentarily, as he lifts his arm up to rest around Mark's shoulders. Mark looks up at him with a puzzled look that almost makes Eduardo retract his arm, but then he lets out a tiny shrugging hum and settles into Eduardo's hold, relaxing.

They stay like that for the rest of the movie, until Eduardo eventually has to leave, and Mark retreats back to his room with whatever coding project his mind is currently occupied by.

Eduardo can't stop thinking about that night, how comfortable it had felt to have Mark resting against him, his warm body calm in his hold, gently stroking his shoulder with his hand. Maybe Mark didn't actually mind the touch, he hadn't seemed to mind that night, but Eduardo still felt hesitant. It had been one night, and maybe Mark had just been tired, there were still so many uncertainties. So he keeps his distance, out of reach, away from Mark while still being close to him.

Mark doesn't seem to act any differently after that night, he still seems stiff and avoidant in his body language, so Eduardo doesn't push it. They go back to their routine, hanging out, but with distance between them.

The following movie night also plays out without any touch. This time Dustin's awake, so he doesn't take up the whole couch. Mark looks over at Eduardo at some point, but there's a good distance between them, and he quickly looks back to the TV. Eduardo gets the sense that he wanted to say something, but he doesn't know what.

The day after though, when Mark is working on a problem set at his computer, while Eduardo reads his econ homework on Mark's bed, Mark breaks the comfortable silence that has fallen over them:

"Wardo?"
He doesn't turn away from the screen as he says this, and Eduardo puts his textbook down.

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you sit close to me? Last night when we were watching the movie."

He sounds unsure and it comes out fast, as if he has been building up to ask this for a while. It shocks Eduardo a bit, he wasn't expecting Mark to bring it up.

"Last time, when we were watching Revenge of the Sith, you sat close to me and you put your arm around me Wardo, I don't understand." Mark continues with the same speed, now a bit frustrated, sounding as if the whole thing is a coding problem that he can't solve.

"Mark, hey, Mark calm down.'' Eduardo says, trying to get Mark to look at him.

It doesn't work, but at least he stops talking.

"Mark, I don't know, I honestly didn't think you liked to be touched." He says, letting out a sigh "I thought you were just tired, or indulging me or something."

Mark finally turns to look at him.

"Well, I wasn't."

"Okay?"

"I liked it."

"Oh, okay" Eduardo says, the revelation leaving him feeling a little dumb.

"So yeah, you should do that more often, I think." Mark adds, and then he turns back around to his problem set.

Eduardo has a hard time focusing on his textbook after that. He keeps staring at Mark while he goes over the conversation they just had.

When he leaves, he places a hand on Mark's shoulder, not in a pat, but with a firm but gentle grip. He feels Mark's tense shoulders relax a bit at the touch, and Mark gives him a small smile as he looks up to say goodbye.

It changes after that, softly and slowly, because while Eduardo still feels hesitant about the whole thing, Mark had said it was okay, that he should do it more, so he does of course, but it all still feels uncertain. The urge to touch Mark, especially now that he knows Mark likes it, wins more often than not though, and Eduardo becomes more confident in the act.

The next movie night, when the Matrix is on, Eduardo settles in the corner of the couch and Mark plops down next to him. As he does so Eduardo opens up his arms and Mark settles down, leaning against his chest. It feels so good to have his arms filled with Mark, and he chooses to ignore the stares Dustin and Chris give them. Half way through the movie, Mark's head glides further down, and Eduardo catches it, steadying him with his hand, as he settles him down into his lap. Mark is laying down now, legs bend, but fully on his back, and Eduardo keeps his hand resting in his hair, absentmindedly letting his fingers play with the dusty brown curls. It feels good and comfortable and natural, and Eduardo can't help but feel at peace like this.

When the movie ends, Mark sits up and smiles at him, softly muttering a "thank you." Before he makes his way back to his computer. Eduardo once again ignores Chris and Dustin’s reactions to whatever just happened, and bids them goodnight before leaving for his own dorm, soft smile never once leaving his face.

In all of this, Eduardo still can't help but hear the echoes of his fathers snide comments and reprimand. These comments resurface one day when they are sitting in Mark's room, both on his bed, with Mark between Eduardo's spread legs, and Eduardo resting against the bed post.

"I'm not really used to having friends who like to cuddle" Eduardo says with his arms around Mark's waist. "My father always says it was a sign of weakness to want hugs when I grew up."

Mark pauses his typing and leans his head back into Eduardo's shoulder. "Your father is stupid Wardo, you shouldn't listen to him." he looks up at Eduardo and adds, "and this is nice, you like it, I like it. The idea that doing something so simple as touching would make you weak is so idiotic." Before turning back to his screen and continuing typing.

"Yeah well, that's easier said than done, you know how my father is."

Mark hums dismissively at this.

"Plus, you say that, but it's not like you made it easy either Mark, I honestly thought you hated touch, I held it back so often," he continues, ending with a sigh.

Mark stops typing, as if he is turning over what Eduardo just said in his head, before he answers "I don't, well, I do like it when it's you, your touch is grounding, comforting, but not a lot of people’s are. It's special with you, I guess."

Eduardo smiles at this and rests his chin on Mark's shoulder as he speaks
"I'm happy you think so, it's comforting to me too "

They fall back into a comfortable silence after that, with Mark's typing being the only thing that fills the room, and it feels good, it feels perfect, Eduardo thinks.

It doesn't take long before they are pretty much inseparable. Whenever they are seen together, they will almost always be touching, even if it is just their hands resting next to each other, or Eduardo guiding Mark with his hand on the small of his back.

Whenever Eduardo comes over, the first thing he will do is go to Mark, to either squeeze his shoulder or ruffle his hair. Likewise, whenever Mark would get up from his desk, it would be to go press himself up against Eduardo.

It didn't go without comments from the people around them about whether they were dating or not, but to Eduardo at least, it didn't actually matter. He liked being close to Mark, touching him and holding him, and that was really enough for him. It was more than what Mark shared with anyone else, it was special and it was for them. Eduardo felt secure in that and he felt secure in their relationship. For now, that was all that mattered.

Whatever their future held, at least he knew he had Mark, Eduardo was sure of that.