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There’s a melancholy in Zhongli that follows him silently, drifting behind the once-Archon with every step he takes. He doesn’t say a word of it, but Diluc sees those amber eyes cloud over with memories the man can’t quite contain.
It’s why when Venti comes to him, hinting at a Lantern Rite Festival and a Zhongli with no date, Diluc chooses not to ignore the bard this time.
“He didn’t care to ask me?”
His tone is almost accusatory, hiding the almost hurt he feels that Zhongli would rather go alone than invite him.
Over the rim of the glass he nurses, Venti squints at Diluc, the air between them growing a little tense. It’s no secret that he and Zhongli are dating, and even if he wanted to, Diluc doesn’t think they’d be able to hide it from Venti. The bard seems to know impossibly much.
“It’s not that,” Venti treads carefully, lowering his glass. “The Lantern Rite Festival has always been a difficult time for Zhongli.”
Moments like this make Diluc wish he had known Zhongli earlier. He has no idea how Zhongli had spent the last Lantern Rite, nor the Lantern Rites every year before that. The geo-wielder holds his secrets close to his chest and Diluc can’t quite seem to pry them out of him like how Zhongli does it to him.
“I didn’t know that,” Diluc mutters to the bar counter. If Venti hadn’t told him, he would have assumed Zhongli didn’t care for the crowds at Lantern Rite. Although, that might have been a projection of his own distaste of crowds onto the other man. Diluc’s stomach sinks, he should have been more considerate.
Venti seems to sense his unease, knocking down what’s left in his glass before reaching over the counter to pat Diluc’s shoulder.
“Talk to him,” he says firmly. It’s strange, seriousness coming from Venti. But Diluc takes it for the advice it is and murmurs his thanks quietly. Venti nods, before a grin flashes on his face and he skips out of the bar.
“I’ll pay for it next time!”
Diluc watches the door swing shut and sighs heavily. Of course he will.
He returns home to Dawn Winery with his mind a whirl of thoughts. The maids are away, as they always are whenever Zhongli is here.
“I’m home,” Diluc calls out softly, into the dimly lit front room.
It’s domestic, sickeningly so, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He returns home from work and Zhongli awaits him, dressed in robes that hint he’s been getting prepared for bed.
As usual, barely ten seconds after Diluc has spoken, Zhongli walks into the room, hair untied and flowing out behind him.
“Welcome home,” Zhongli says, scanning him head to toe before nodding, seemingly satisfied.
He pulls Diluc into a hug and the redhead can’t do anything but melt into the embrace he’s so familiar with. The warmth momentarily fights off the cold from the winter night but it’s not long before he’s shivering into Zhongli’s arm.
Frowning, he reluctantly pulls away from the other man, who looks at him with fond eyes that Diluc will never believe are aimed at him.
“Go shower,” Zhongli laughs. “I’ll have food prepared for you once you finish.”
Diluc pushes his lips out, in a show of fake annoyance he only lets Zhongli see. Amber eyes simply crinkle in amusement before there are soft lips on his and Diluc’s pout gives way to a small smile.
Zhongli cups his cheek for a moment, staring at him in a manner that makes a light flush rise on Diluc’s cheekbones, before steering him around in the direction of the shower. There’s a swat on his backside and Diluc yelps, turning around to glare at Zhongli.
“Go,” the man says, crossing his arms with a slight smirk on his face.
Diluc huffs but makes his way to the bathroom, the smile still playing on his face. He really does adore this man.
He showers quickly, letting the warm water run over his body and loosen his muscles. The thought of talking to Zhongli about the Lantern Rite Festival over dinner doesn’t quite sit right with him. Diluc knows he needs to do it soon, with the festival fast approaching, but he doesn’t want a fight.
Sighing, his breath fogs up the bathroom mirror. He stares at himself, pale skin, red eyes and equally bright hair. What Zhongli sees in him, he doesn’t know.
Exiting the bathroom, Diluc makes his way to the dining table, where Zhongli has prepared dishes from Liyue. There’s a soup he’s grown to love and two small bowls of rice accompanied with dishes he doesn’t recognise.
“Thank you,” Diluc voices, taking a seat next to Zhongli. The geo-wielder simply smiles, before reaching a hand out to sweep Diluc’s hair out of his face.
Warmth blooms in Diluc’s chest and it’s a split second decision, but he presses his lips to Zhongli’s cheek. Hurriedly, he looks away and picks up his chopsticks. He can feel Zhongli’s gaze on him but Diluc refuses to look, heart beating loudly in his chest. Initiating contact has never been his thing, choosing to leave it to Zhongli.
“Why so shy, my love?”
Diluc hates this man.
Cheeks bright red, Diluc shakes his head, picking up a piece of fish and stuffing it into his mouth. Zhongli chuckles before DIluc hears the clink of his chopsticks and he begins to eat.
Comfortable silence settles between them and Diluc doesn’t want to ruin it. So he doesn’t. Diluc lets Zhongli place food in his bowl and make small talk but doesn’t mention the festival.
Trepidation settles in his stomach the longer the night stretches on and Diluc feels sick in a way that makes his stomach turn. They’re looking over their respective documents in his study after dinner and Diluc’s anxiety only grows. He doesn’t think he’s being obvious, but clearly underestimates Zhongli’s observation skills.
“Diluc?” Zhongli breaks the silence. “Is something wrong?”
He eyes Diluc over the rim of his glasses, amber eyes shining with concern. Diluc can’t quite look him in the eye.
“It’s nothing,” he mutters.
Zhongli places his papers down on the desk before stepping lightly to where Diluc stands at the window. Nimble hands come to rest on his waist and he feels the brush of Zhongli’s face against his own.
“Tell me what is wrong,” Zhongli whispers.
With Zhongli’s warmth behind him and his eyes trained on the vineyard in front of him, Diluc lets out a heavy breath. He reminds himself that this is Zhongli, his lover, who never seems to run out of patience when it comes to Diluc.
“You didn’t invite me to the Lantern Rite Festival,” he replies softly.
Immediately, Diluc feels Zhongli stiffen behind him. Diluc knew it. He really shouldn’t have said anything.
“Ignore me,” Diluc follows up, shrugging Zhongli off. “I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted to go with me.”
“You don’t like crowds.”
Pausing at the non sequitur, Diluc furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
“You don’t like crowds,” Zhongli repeats, coming around so he’s standing between Diluc and the window. “You don’t like people surrounding you and you especially hate it when that happens in a place you’re not familiar with.”
Sighing, Zhongli’s eyes soften as he raises Diluc’s chin tenderly with a finger.
“I did not want you to be uncomfortable.”
And oh, how Diluc deserves to have Celestia rain hellfire down upon him.
Amber eyes bore into him and Diluc knows that Zhongli will wait however long it takes for him to reply.
“I’m sorry,” he starts, eyes flickering between Zhongli and the window behind him. “I didn’t know. I just thought — ” Diluc doesn’t finish his sentence, lapsing into silence.
I just thought you didn’t want to share that part of you with me.
“This is my fault too,” Zhongli exhales. “I should have asked how you felt about going, instead of assuming you did not want to go.”
Diluc’s eyes widen and he brings his hands up to squeeze Zhongli’s face between them.
“No, Zhongli,” he shakes his head. “You were just looking out for me.”
Zhongli smiles faintly as he pulls Diluc’s hands away from his face and holds them loosely in his own.
“Will you come with me then, baobei? Be my date to the Lantern Rite Festival?”
Stomach swooping at the endearment, Diluc flushes lightly. Zhongli still hasn’t told him anything about what the festival means to him and how he usually spends it, but he’ll take what he can get for now. Everything else can be dealt with after.
“Of course.”
The lights are blindingly bright and it takes everything in Diluc to not go and find a dark alley to hide in
Zhongli looks worriedly at him but he waves him off, forcing himself to smile.
“We really do not have to stay,” Zhongli says, raising his voice above the sound of children shrieking and the occasional stray firecracker.
“I’m fine,” Diluc replies. And he is, really. If he’s here with Zhongli, everything is fine, nevermind the minutes where he feels like he’s going to suffocate from the sheer number of people here.
Gripping onto the sleeve of Zhongli’s black and gold hanfu, Diluc’s somewhat grateful it’s crowded. No one takes a second glance at him. Well, no one except a certain funeral parlour director who appears out of thin air.
“Zhongli!”
Zhongli pinches the bridge of his nose and an exasperated sigh leaves his lips, but Diluc doesn’t miss the fond smile that flashes across his face.
“Hu Tao,” Zhongli states blandly, manoeuvring himself and Diluc out of the crowd.
“You brought a friend,” Hu Tao smiles cheekily, eyes darting quickly between Zhongli and Diluc.
Diluc lets a practised smile appear on his face but Hu Tao is no longer paying attention to him. Instead, she and Zhongli seem to be in silent conversation. It’s only a couple of seconds but soon Hu Tao is laughing, waving at them before disappearing in the crowd in a flash.
“Is she always?”
Zhongli faces him with amusement still dancing on his face and takes his hand, walking slowly with the direction of the crowd.
“Always like that? Yes.”
They settle into a comfortable silence, walking side by side through the streets and looking at the stalls set up with trinkets or food. It’s nice here, Diluc admits, he only wished he were more fond of crowds. But looking at the gentle smile on Zhongli’s face, his unease untangles little by little.
Zhongli stops before a stall tucked away in a corner on the street, letting go of Diluc’s hand to gesture at the plates that lay on the table.
“Would you like to try this?”
Leaning forward, Diluc eyes the plates that hold what seem to be silken squares of tofu. The smell of almonds float in the air and he looks questioningly at the other man.
“It’s a dessert,” Zhongli laughs. “Made from apricot kernels.”
Zhongli looks away and Diluc follows his gaze to where it settles on Wangshu Inn in the distance.
“I’ve heard this dish is popular with picky eaters.”
Frowning, Diluc rolls his eyes as Zhongli takes his silence as agreement and waves the stallholder over.
“A dish of almond tofu, please.”
“1,550 mora.”
Silence fills the air between them and Diluc doesn’t even need to look at Zhongli. He pulls out his drawstring bag and carefully hands the coins over.
“I forgot.”
“I know.”
Diluc’s grin threatens to break out across his face and he lets it, laughing at Zhongli. The other man simply shrugs, grabbing the plate of almond tofu and leading them to a table.
“What is the point of my lover being in charge of half the alcohol industry, if not to pay for meals?” Zhongli asks, spoon digging into the dessert. He brings it up to Diluc’s mouth and the redhead simply stares back, unimpressed. In a rare show of childishness, Zhongli pouts. It’s only a split second but it’s enough, and Diluc opens his mouth.
The nutty flavour melts on his tongue and he’s surprised at how good it tastes. But he guesses he shouldn’t be, Zhongli knows his preferences quite well now.
“It’s good,” he murmurs, grabbing another spoonful himself. Zhongli simply smiles, before pointing at the slowly rising lanterns in the night sky.
“During the Archon war,” the geo-wielder begins. “People used to light them for the soldiers, to show them the way home and to serve as a reminder to never lose sight of themselves.”
He falls into silence and Diluc sees that melancholy build up behind amber eyes. Remembering Venti’s words, he places his spoon down and grasps Zhongli’s hand. The other man shakes his head, as if clearing it, and sighs.
“I’m sorry,” he clears his throat. “I didn’t mean to change the topic like that.”
Diluc’s heart aches for him and he squeezes the pale hand ever so gently.
“You have nothing to apologise for, I enjoy everything you have to say.”
Zhongli shoots him a small, subdued smile. Picking up the abandoned spoon, he scoops up more almond tofu. This time, Diluc chooses to entertain him, opening his mouth before the spoon is even off the plate. It’s embarrassing, and he can feel heat rising in his cheeks.
But it’s worth the grin that takes over Zhongli’s face.
In the minutes it takes them to finish off the plate, a buzz of excitement gradually crackles through the air. Footsteps become faster and Diluc watches as parents grip their children’s hands tighter, warning them not to run off.
“What’s happening?” He questions Zhongli, who seems content to watch the crowd.
“The finale of the Lantern Rite Festival,” Zhongli replies, voice containing a hint of pride. “The fireworks show.”
Content as he is to sit here, Diluc thinks of Zhongli, thinks of Venti’s words, and stands up. He ignores the surprised look from Zhongli and stares determinedly into the crowd of people.
“Shall we get a better view?”
Zhongli frowns but stands up anyway, gripping Diluc’s shoulders with his hands.
“Are you sure, Diluc? The crowd is quite...excitable. I don’t think you’ll be comfortable there. We can still see a couple fireworks here.”
Nodding, Diluc grabs Zhongli’s hand from his shoulders and leads them toward the crowd.
“I’m sure.”
He’s not sure, he’s really not. But he wants the Lantern Rite Festival to be enjoyable for Zhongli and if it comes at the expense of a little discomfort, Diluc will survive.
Weaving into the crowd, Diluc feels his heart rate begin to pick up, blood rushing through his ears. Zhongli doesn’t seem to notice, gripping his hand tightly as he gazes up at the brightly lit sky. His eyes are bright and there’s the faintest of smiles on his face.
Watching him, Diluc’s heart swells, and he’s glad Venti brought this up. He can’t imagine Zhongli here alone.
Zhongli taps his shoulder and motions at the largest lantern Diluc’s seen. It’s shaped to represent a deer, antlers carved up toward the sky. There’s a clunk and Diluc’s eyes widen as the deer begins to glow, as if coming to life, before trotting into the night in a trail of light.
“Skybracer,” Zhongli murmurs to himself. “Welcome home, my friend.”
Squeezing his hand, Diluc watches as more fireworks than he could possibly imagine explode across the sky, turning the pitch black into a multitude of colours. The crowd chatters excitedly and Diluc marvels at all the different people present. He thinks he even spots a few Fatui diplomats.
The show is amazing, it truly is. Yet he can’t help the quickening of his breath as people grow livelier and cheers start to ring out. Too focused on trying to simply breathe, he misses Zhongli’s words.
“Diluc? Sweetheart?”
Snapping back into it, he looks questioningly at Zhongli. Concern paints Zhongli’s face and he raises his voice above the crowd.
“Are you doing alright?”
Diluc begins to nod, but there’s a sudden surge of excitement from the crowd as a particularly bright firework washes the sky, and he flinches back.
Zhongli frowns, before he seems to come to a conclusion and nods to himself. An arm settles protectively on Diluc’s waist and he lets himself be led out of the crowd.
“I’m fine,” Diluc protests, once they’re tucked away into a quiet corner. “I just need to catch my breath for a little.”
“You’re not,” Zhongli says firmly. “You’re not fine and I do not know why you feel the need to lie to me.”
There’s a hint of hurt in Zhongli’s voice and Diluc’s own walls begin to crack.
“I’m not lying,” he replies, but the protest sounds weak even to his own ears.
“I don’t want to do this tonight, Diluc, please,” Zhongli voices quietly. “When will you accept that I care about you and it hurts me to know that there’s something wrong?”
Diluc breaks.
“I just wanted to make you happy.”
Zhongli doesn’t say anything, instead, pulling Diluc into the tightest hug he’s ever known. When he speaks, Diluc’s voice is muffled into the fabric on Zhongli’s shoulder.
“Venti told me about you and Lantern Rite, I just wanted you to enjoy the Lantern Rite Festival. I wanted you to make new memories. I didn’t want you to be alone. But you’re right. I hate crowds.”
A hand runs through his hair and Diluc breathes out heavily, ignoring the moisture in his eyes as he blinks.
“Your heart is too big, Diluc Ragnvindr,” Zhongli begins. “Every memory I make is a decision of my own choice. I can live with them. You make me happy by simply being here, I do not need you sacrificing your own happiness for my sake.”
“But I’m not,” Diluc cuts in, removing his face from Zhongli’s shoulder to look the other man in the eye. “Making you happy, makes me happy.”
Zhongli gives him that all too fond smile which never fails to make his stomach squirm, before pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“And what makes me happy,” he says seriously, “is knowing that you are comfortable and not struggling for breath with me beside you.”
Diluc bites his lip and nods slowly.
He’s gone about this the wrong way, trying to fix something that doesn’t need to be fixed.
“I enjoy the Lantern Rite Festival,” Zhongli continues. “Whether it brings me bad or good memories.”
Suddenly, he grins, the sleeves of his hanfu falling back as he cups Diluc’s face between his hands.
“And besides, every day I spend with you will always shine like gold in my memory.”
Diluc rolls his eyes and mutters cheesy but accepts the tender press of lips against his own, smiling into the kiss.
He’s already planning the lantern he’ll surprise Zhongli with next year.