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“Hyung”.
Sunoo let his eyes leave the drink in his hand that he had been frowning at - people drank this shit? - and turned to his best friend, who was next to him on the run-down couch in the living room of some random senior at the university. His friend wasn’t looking back at him though, seemingly focused on something else in the packed room.
“Yeah, Wonie?”, he replied, voice raised to be heard over the music, while watching with mixed emotions as his best friend took a sip out of his own cup, not even cringing at the very suspect taste.
For good measure, Sunoo tried another sip, but it was impossible and he hissed before putting the glass down on the table in front of him. They said your twenties were about experiencing and finding out what you like. Sunoo had done just that, and found out that drinking something that tastes like cough syrup and which most likely would end up with him throwing up on said sofa was not something he liked. Still, it amazed him to see his friend swallow it so easily. Yang Jungwon truly wasn’t as straight-laced as he looked, with his deep dimples, rounded glasses and oversized cardigans.
Jungwon met his eyes, having looked at something ahead of him.
“There’s someone staring at you. Don’t look”.
Sunoo blinked, and immediately did just the thing he had been told not to. He heard a groan next to him, as he frantically tried to see if his friend was right. At first, he couldn’t notice anyone paying him special attention, there were quite a few people around, but they all seemed busy speaking amongst themselves. But just as he was about to turn back, tell his friend that he didn’t think so, he did meet someone’s gaze. Sunoo blinked, just staring for a couple of seconds, before he snapped his head away. He recognised that face.
Actually, everyone and their grandma did. Sunoo let his eyes come to rest on his clenched hands on his lap, not daring to look up again. The effortlessly perfect Nishimura Riki, who had joined the university dance team after transferring during their second year, and who then quickly had become the topic with a capital T. He was very good at moving his body, everyone thought so. Sunoo did too, of course. Many also found him very attractive, being tall and somewhat mysterious, not really socialising except with those in the dance team. Sunoo thought he was attractive too, he wasn’t blind. And, many in their school had a crush on the man. Which Sunoo… might relate to, as well. He hadn’t told anyone, not even Jungwon, but how could he not? Good looks, deep voice, good dancer, good grades, untouchable but polite… Sunoo swallowed, and let out a breath.
When he looked up from his lap, eyes avoiding the man across the room - no way he had meant to look at Sunoo - he was met with Jungwon staring at him. His friend blinked, glanced in Riki’s direction again, and then let out a small breath.
Sunoo watched Jungwon put things together, and then gasped.
“No way”, he said, voice hushed but still feeling way too loud. “The guy you like is him ?”
Sunoo felt his face heat up. He had been able to hide it for months , even going so far as to deliberately avoid the dancer just so Jungwon wouldn’t find out. Fuck . In a panic, he reached for the cup he had disposed of on the table, and threw it back. Not caring about the awful taste, or Jungwon’s protest at him drinking it all down so quickly, he swallowed and then got up from his seat.
He only swayed slightly, as he found his ground, turning to Jungwon.
“I need to pee! Be right back! Don’t follow me!”
Not waiting for a response, he bolted, avoiding to look in the direction of Riki as well.
***
Riki’s eyes watched as the pretty man he had spotted looked away after their eyes had met. That was peculiar , he thought. The reaction. Riki was pretty sure he had never seen this guy before, and definitely not spoken to him. So why would he react that way? Even though he was sitting almost five meters away, in bad lightning, it wasn’t hard to spot how pretty he was. He had black hair and pale skin, almost looking translucent, a sky blue button-up that complimented his soft features perfectly. Riki saw the man with the glasses next to him say something, and then how the pretty man grabbed hold of his cup, swallowed all of it down, before getting up from the seat, hurrying away. The man didn’t look his way as he walked past, but Riki did see his cheeks looked as pink as his lips.
“'Why are you so thirsty?”
The voice whispered into his ear had him almost jumping high and spilling his can of coke. He turned to the person next to him, glaring.
“Jake-hyung, don’t do that”.
The man just grinned at him, taking a swing out of his beer can.
“What he do?”, said another voice, Sunghoon.
Riki was about to tell him it was nothing, but Jake beat him to it.
“Our Riki was making heart-eyes at some guy across the room”.
Riki glared at his hyung again, but nonetheless it was too late. Two more people joined the discussion.
“Really? Who?”, Jay said, turning from Heeseung, and Riki watched as they both tried to look across the room, to spot this object of Riki’s attention.
“He left the room already”.
Sunghoon let out a laugh at that.
“Why? Did you scare him off?”
Riki snarled.
“Did no such thing! His friend, the one on the sofa, seemed to say something to him, and he ran away”.
Heeseung let out a small ‘ ah ’, when he saw the person on the sofa. Following his gaze, the man looked quite awkward there, alone and watching his phone.
“You mean Yang Jungwon?”
Jay copied Heeseung’s sound of recognition, and Riki turned to them.
“You know him?”
Heeseung nodded.
“Yeah, he’s part of the student council, just like me and Jay. Didn’t expect to see him here”.
Sunghoon looked towards the sofa as well, humming. Riki and Jake shared a look, being the two clueless of the lot. Riki didn’t really pay attention to people outside of the dancing club, and Jake didn’t even go to their university, but was a friend of Sunghoon and therefore had come to join their group. Jake was alright, Riki supposed. Fun and bright. He didn’t know if he danced well.
Riki threw one last glance back at the sofa, and then spoke to Heeseung.
“So…”
His hyung hummed.
“So?”
Riki shrugged, not sure how to phrase it. He just wanted to know the name of the man who had run off. He didn’t even know how he never could’ve seen him before. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t miss a face like that, even when he didn’t always pay attention to the people around him.
He took a quick sip out of his coke, and then spoke.
“So that’s Yang Jungwon. Any chance you might know the name of a guy he might hang out with? Like, the guy who just left? He looked… he was pretty”.
Riki felt like he should be at least a bit embarrassed, but he quite frankly wasn't. He really wanted to know who this guy was.
Heeseung hummed.
“Can’t be sure, considering he’s not there anymore, but it must’ve been Kim Sunoo. He’s in linguistics, just like Jungwon-ah. Don’t know him so well, he always seems in a hurry whenever I spot him on campus… but he seems sweet”.
Riki hummed, muttering the name under his breath. Kim Sunoo . Pretty name. He nodded to himself, making a decision at that moment.
“I’ll go introduce myself to him”.
All heads turned to him, eyes wide.
“You- what? You ?”
Riki squinted at Sunghoon.
“What’s with the tone, hyung?”
Sunghoon made a noncommittal sound in response, but Jay filled in.
“I mean, considering you don’t really care about people, this is… interesting”.
Riki shrugged, not sure what to respond. It was true, but what could he do?
“‘Suppose”, was all he said.
He saw his friends exchange a look, and then Heeseung spoke.
“Good luck, Riki. We’ll go… yeah. We’ll go join Jungwon-ah on the sofa, poor kid looks lost”.
Riki nodded at them, and turned from them without another word, following the direction where the other man - Kim Sunoo - had gone a few minutes earlier. It sounded cliché, but it had lit a spark within him. Riki needed to get to know him. He really n eeded to know if he was single.
***
Sunoo would never go back to that sofa. Jungwon would never let him live this down. And what luck did he have, that he was spotted by the man in question. Maybe he had been staring like that because he had figured Sunoo out? Did he know? Had Sunoo done something weird without meaning to? He swallowed, stopping in the middle of the hall he had aimlessly walked along. He sighed, leaning his head against the wall. Fewer people here, but still he could hear the music through the wall. He hummed along with it.
Honestly, I’m scared
Sunoo noticed someone stop in front of him, and let out a sigh. Jungwon seemed to have come after him even though he said not to, which was out of character for him. Not able to refrain from pouting, he opened his eyes to whine - but it was not Jungwon .
The world is drunk in a swirling glass
Sunoo let his gaze travel up to the face of the person who was much taller than Jungwon, taller than himself as well. The sight had his mouth part slightly, falling open.
At the edge is my burning heart
Nishimura Riki had come after him.
But I just want to stay
The base dropped in the next room, tempo turning upbeat and fun, but Sunoo felt frozen in place. He immediately regretted swallowing down that glass of unknown pink substance, because he felt a bit lightheaded. So, this is how being drunk-dazed feels like.
“Hey”, Riki said to him, voice low and quite husky.
Sunoo thought he’d combust on the spot, and he wondered what he had done to deserve this.
”Uhm… hey?”, he said, cringing immediately at how dumb he sounded.
But genuinely, he felt dumb. Why was this guy talking to him? They didn’t know each other. He knew Jungwon knew some of Riki’s friends, from the student council, but Sunoo didn’t know them. He tended to avoid them, just like he avoided Riki. Which at this moment seemed perfectly useless. All that effort, for naught. He felt like a mouse in a trap.
Even more so, when the tall boy smiled. Ah. Headshot. Instant K.O. Here lies Kim Seon Woo, 22, killed dead by a smile.
He snapped out of it when Riki spoke again.
“Do you go to X University?”
Sunoo blinked. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but at least not that.
“Yes?”
Riki hummed, tilting his head to the side.
“Really? I do too, I’ve never seen you. You’re a linguistics major, Sunoo sunbae?”
Sunoo’s mind went from ‘ of course I know you go there ’, to ‘ yeah, because i’ve avoided you ’, to ‘ wait how do you know my major? ’, to ‘ wait! how do you- ‘
“… know my name?!”
He was quite aware he was gaping. What the hell? What, what what?
Riki just shrugged.
“Heeseung hyung told me. I’m Nishimura Riki, I’m in economics. I also like to dance”.
Sunoo had to bite his lip to not respond with ‘ I know ’. He felt like he didn’t trust himself not to make a fool out of himself. Yeah, drinking was not for him, he felt oddly both at ease and tense.
He just nodded.
“Nice to meet you…”.
The smile he was given was bigger this time, softer. Sunoo still felt so, so confused. Had he actually passed out from drinking that potion-like beverage Jungwon had conducted? Was he having a very vivid dream?
He was about to actually pinch himself, when Riki spoke again, catching him totally off guard.
“I want to get to know you, sunbae. Can I?”
A small gasp did slip out through Sunoo’s lips at that. He felt as if all his blood had traveled to his cheeks. He just knew he must be pink as a peach at this point.
He swallowed.
“Why?”
It sounded self-deprecating, but he truly didn’t understand why. He had been content with watching from afar, knowing full well Riki would never see him. By avoiding him and making sure he literally couldn’t see him, it had somehow felt like it was by choice, not inevitable. He wouldn’t have minded graduating in one and a half years, and never having even talked to the other. He had made peace with that, even if it hurt just a tiny bit some days.
He saw the skin between Riki’s brows furrow. The taller one seemed confused by the question.
“What do you mean, ‘ why ’?”
Sunoo shrugged, and looked down at the floor. He now saw he was wearing mismatched socks in his sneakers.
“No, I just… uhm. I’m not sure how to put this. But, like, you’re you, and I’m… me, y’kno?”
Riki didn’t respond for a few seconds, and Sunoo shut his eyes. God, he had made a fool out of himself, hadn't he? And now Riki would think he’s weird, probably figure out that he had a big, gay crush on him, and Sunoo would need to drop out halfway through his studies. He would most likely pass away before he turned 23. What a shame.
Riki didn’t speak, but what he did do was put a hand on Sunoo’s shoulder.
It was enough for Sunoo to look up at him again, eyes wide. When he did so, Riki slowly moved his hand on his shoulder, until his big hand was partly against his neck and partly against his cheek. The warm hand against his bare skin was so heavenly, and what made Sunoo realise that no, this wasn’t a dream, it was real.
Riki’s face had a soft expression, and it made Sunoo feel warm all over.
“Your skin is very soft, sunbae”
Sunoo swallowed, and knew Riki could feel the movement against his palm.
“You can call me ‘hyung’”.
In response he got a blinding smile.
“Okay, Sunoo hyung”.
The thumb against his cheek started caressing his skin slowly, and Sunoo’s heart had never beaten so quickly. Without meaning to, he felt something awful begin to fill up inside of him. Hope .
***
Sunoo hyung. Sunoo hyung. Sunoo hyung. It had a nice ring to it. Riki wondered what Sunoo had meant by ‘ you’re you, and I’m me ’, because to him, Sunoo seemed fantastic. Maybe that was a bit shallow of him, he didn’t know anything about the man in front of him, other than that he was majoring in linguistics, that he had a nice voice, and that he was… very pretty. He was pretty in a way that made Riki feel like he had been drinking something other than just coke during the evening.
He let his thumb caress the soft skin on the other’s round cheek, enjoying how it painted his cheeks a light pink. Riki had never been into romance growing up, had only seen the Japanese dramas his older sister and mum watched on the telly when he was growing up, but he was pretty sure what he felt was something similar to what the main characters had displayed there. He had fallen in love at first sight. It was all quite overwhelming but also quite nice.
He smiled at the shorter man, who looked a bit like a deer in headlights.
“Sunoo hyung”, he simply said.
When Sunoo’s small, pink tongue darted out between his lips, wetting them, he couldn’t help but focus on the visual of it.
“Yes?”, he simply responded.
Riki forced himself to meet the shorter man’s eyes again. His now slightly wet lips were too distracting. He could feel Sunoo’s pulse against his palm, and his own had started to pick up. Riki wasn’t used to this feeling. He got nervous, like every other person, of course, but not about… things like this. But what was it that Sunghoon always said? ’ Just do it ’?
He swallowed, and smiled.
“I really want to get to know you. I know it might sound weird, and we’ve never talked before, despite going to the same university, but…”
He stalled a bit, feeling slightly flustered. But the wide-eyed look in the shorter man’s eyes, carrying something that almost looked like… hope? - had him swallow his nervousness and speak on.
“I don’t mean to sound superficial, but as soon as I saw you across the room I just… really wanted to talk to you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
The man blinked, and then softly shook his head, moving Riki’s hand in the process.
“N-not really…?”, he replied, a small stutter in his voice.
Riki smiled again, leaning down slightly so he could say the next words in a hushed voice. A small gasp slipped out through Sunoo’s lips at it, and it made his smile grow wider. He felt uncharacteristically giddy. Just like he was about to perform.
He stopped next to Sunoo’s ear, on the opposite side from where his hand was.
“I’d like to ask you out, hyung. Can I?”
Another gasp slipped out, and this one he felt against his cheek. A hand reached up, clenching the fabric of his shirt, and while that was something he had experienced previously, and been quite annoyed by, this time it felt really, really nice. Maybe the difference was it being Sunoo holding onto him, and not some loud, faceless girl. He both heard and felt Sunoo swallow, and he leaned back slightly to let him respond. He still stopped close enough that their noses almost touched. He breathed in. Sunoo smelt of citrus. He loved it.
Again, Sunoo wet his lips, and Riki felt an impulse to kiss him. Wow, another first .
“Uhm…”, the man said, glancing between his feet and Riki’s eyes. “Are you seriously asking? You’re not picking on me?”
Riki shook his head. Why would he?
“No, I’m not. I’ll have you know I don’t really do this on a regular basis… so, what do you say? Can I take you out sometime, hyung?”
Sunoo’s face was so flushed, visible even in the poorly lit hallway. But after a few seconds, he softly nodded.
“Yeah, I’d like that, actually”.
Riki couldn’t help the grin that formed on his lips, and upon seeing it Sunoo’s eyes widened, before he too mirrored it with his own smile. It was the most beautiful sight Riki had ever seen, and he couldn’t contain himself as he threw his arms over the other man’s shoulders, hugging him close. Another gasp could be heard, but a few seconds later he heard a muffled giggle against his shirt - breaths warm through the fabric - and then another set of arms came to hold him back, hugging him close. Riki had his face against the side of Sunoo’s head, and he couldn’t help but breathe him in. He was hooked. He wanted to kiss him.
He lowered his head slightly, speaking softly into the older man’s ear.
“May I kiss you, Sunoo hyung?”
He felt a shiver go through the short body he held in his arms, and then a nodding against his shoulders.
“Yes...”, he whispered back.
Riki’s face blossomed in a smile, and he leaned back from the other. Sunoo had his eyes closed, but opened them when Riki stopped in front of him, once more close enough so their noses brushed against each other. Sunoo looked nervous, shy, flustered, but still smiled. Riki smiled back, feeling giddy and nervous too, and then slowly leaned in.
At first it was just the pressing of lips, soft and sweet. He could feel Sunoo let out a breath through his nose upon the contact, and Riki had to remind himself to breathe as well. In, out. In, out. It made his heart flutter in his chest. Despite being in his first year of university, he hadn’t ever kissed someone. He hadn’t ever wanted to. It was everything…
… And yet, not enough. He applied pressure to Sunoo’s lips, causing the latter to fully put his back against the wall behind him. It was better, but still not enough .
His heart was pounding, as he broke the kiss, leaning back only enough for them to not touch. He opened his eyes, and Sunoo had his closed.
“Hyung?”
A soft response came immediately.
“Yeah?”
Riki swallowed.
“Can I kiss you?”
Sunoo opened his eyes at that. His pupils were big.
“You already are?”, he responded, obviously confused.
Riki shook his head slightly, his nose touching Sunoo’s.
“No”, he said, seeing a furrow form between Sunoo’s brows. “I want to kiss you”.
After a second, Sunoo lost the furrow, and he let out a small ‘ oh ’. Riki could practically feel the heat radiating off of his face. Sunoo swallowed, and for a tense moment Riki thought he’d say no, but then the pretty man nodded.
“Yes”, he simply said.
It was all the confirmation Riki needed, and he leaned in again, pressing his lips against Sunoo’s once more. He put his underarms against the wall next to Sunoo’s head, caging him in fully. Sunoo’s hands were still grasping his shirt.
After another moment, Sunoo let out a small sigh against his lips, and let him in, Riki felt like he was truly drunk. The flutters in his stomach made him feel like he was a lovestruck teenager, and feeling Sunoo tentatively meet him halfway, wet and hot, made him wish he could stay in that moment forever. That he could always kiss the man who was pressed against the wall, feel his heartbeat against his chest. He tilted his head slightly, for better access, and felt like he would go mad when Sunoo let out something close to a whimper.
I wake myself up
He hadn’t imagined he would spot someone across the room and fall in love immediately when his hyungs had made him go along to the party, he hadn’t even wanted to go, but now he was so, so happy he had let them persuade him. Meeting Sunoo felt like home, even if he didn’t yet know anything about him.
Burn my heart
Riki didn’t know him, but he couldn’t wait to learn everything about him.
Fill my dreams
***
Jungwon let out a sigh, scrolling on his phone. He felt awkward. He knew he looked awkward.
His hyung was so dramatic. Jungwon obviously knew he hadn’t actually gone to find a toilet, but he couldn’t go after him when he had been told not to. Damn you, morals.
“Jungwon-ah!”
He looked up from his screen, surprised to hear his name, and then immediately smiled.
“Heeseung hyung! Jay hyung! Sunghoon hyung! Hi”. He noticed a fourth person with them, and he smiled at the man. “Hello, we haven’t met. I’m Yang Jungwon. Nice to meet you”.
The man smiled back, all teeth. Charming , slipped through Jungwon’s mind.
“I’m Jake Sim, pleased to meet you”.
He nodded, unable to stop himself from grinning back. He spoke to the group of seniors.
“Have you guys been here long? I was with my Sunoo hyung, but he- uh, he ran off”.
He didn’t want to say too much. Heeseung got down on the sofa next to him, and Jay did too. Sunghoon and Jake didn’t make a move to sit, just standing in front of the sofa.
Heeseung spoke.
“We came a short while ago. And yeah, we didn’t see him, but we heard of him, if you can say it like that”.
Jungwon blinked, a furrow forming between his brows. He tilted his head to the side.
“I don’t follow?”
Sunghoon let out a snort, and Jungwon turned to him, still feeling confused.
“Our Riki supposedly saw him and quite literally made a run for it after asking who he was”.
Jungwon blinked, then gaped. No way?
Jake continued, turning to Sunghoon.
“Don’t say it like that. It was cute. Haven’t known him for long, but I’ve never seen him like that”.
Jay chuckled, on the other side of the couch.
“I’ve known him for a little over a year now, and neither have I”.
Heeseung let out a sigh, speaking stopping the conversation.
“Ok, ok, enough. We really shouldn’t speak of those who aren’t here, guys”.
Jungwon blinked, and then found himself blurting out his next words.
“Nishimura Riki went after my Sunoo hyung?”
Four heads turned to him, and he felt himself shrink, embarrassed to have raised his voice like that to his sunbaes. To have something to do, he picked up the cup he had been drinking out of, taking a small sip. All in all, it wasn’t too bad. But he would never chug it like Sunoo had.
Heeseung spoke, sounding a bit embarrassed, as if he had forgotten Jungwon was there, listening to their conversation. Which was quite silly. They were the ones who had come up to him, after all.
“Sorry, Jungwon-ah, we spoke without thinking. Please don’t mind”.
Jungwon felt embarrassed at once, getting an apology from his senior. He shook his head.
“No, no, it’s fine, I just… considering Sunoo hyung just- uh”.
He cut himself off, realising he was about to say too much. He put down his glass. He didn’t feel affected, but considering that his tongue seemed looser than usual, maybe he was. The faces watching him looked interested, but he shook his head again.
“Don’t ask me to elaborate, please”.
Disappointment coloured the faces before him, but before any of them could respond, Jungwon caught a glimpse of his hyung behind Jake’s back.
“Sunoo hyung!”, he called out, voice barely heard over the music.
The rest of the guys turned too, and there Sunoo indeed was… with Nishimura Riki. Jungwon’s eyes widened. Sunoo’s face looked flushed, and when his eyes flickered to Riki, he looked the same. Both of their shirts looked slightly disheveled, and the state of their lips, red and swollen, made it quite obvious to figure out what they had been up to. They even held hands , he noted when they fully came into view next to Jake.
Before he could get another word out, Jay spoke.
“Yah, Riki?”
After that, all of the sunbaes started speaking at the same time. Jungwon noticed people reacting to the commotion, whispers filling the room, but he only looked at Sunoo, who was smiling with red cheeks, smiling like he had never seen him before. Neither he, nor Riki who was currently being bombarded with questions by his friends, seemed to mind being seen. It made Jungwon unable to stop his smile.
Sunoo eventually met his gaze, looking slightly embarrassed considering how he had excused himself, but when he saw Jungwon wearing a wide grin he seemed to relax. Sunoo smiled back at him, all teeth and gums. Oh, yes, Jungwon was happy for Sunoo. He knew his hyung had been crushing on someone forever, even if he had refused to tell him who. So, naturally he was delighted for his hyung, but - he for sure would like the details later. His hyung owed it to him.
He smiled to himself, lifting up his cup as he watched his hyung standing next to the taller man, giggling and talking, ignoring the spectators who were probably glaring at him. Jungwon took a sip. It’d be fine. Sunoo could stand up for himself. He didn’t know Riki, but Heeseung and Jay were both good seniors. Sunghoon too, and Jake seemed kind.
And, Sunoo had a best friend who was active in taekwondo. No one could touch him.