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You had known from the beginning that Loki Laufeyson was trouble, the moment Thor had brought him back to Earth and he had entered the tower with that cocky grin and smug attitude. You knew then he was trouble but you couldn’t help yourself.
It wasn’t a shock when you realised you had feelings for him though you did curse yourself for it. Loki had never given you any indication that he felt the same way as you, hell half the time he acted like he didn’t care at all and for some reason you liked that. So really it shouldn’t have been a surprise that you were on the opposite side of the scale, you falling hard for him and him taking a step back.
You had thought you were doing a pretty good job at keeping your feelings a secret, not wanting anybody to find out but being a part of The Avengers, being so close to them on a daily basis, meant it was hard to keep secrets from each other. That’s why you weren’t as surprised as you probably should have been when Tony called you down to his workshop under the guise of a new suit.
He showed you all the new gadgets he had installed and waited until there was a silence before he asked you;
“You know what you’re doing?”
“Huh?” You said, looking up at him, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion as you looked from the suit to him.
“C’mon kid,” Tony said with a huff of laughter, “Loki.”
You stayed silent, raising an eyebrow as you waited for more information but apparently that was all the explanation you were getting.
“What about Loki?” You asked, watching as Tony rolled his eyes.
“I see the way you look at him,” He told you, scrunching his nose up as he did, causing you to laugh, “You know what you’re getting yourself into?” He asked again.
“Tony, trust me, there’s nothing to get myself into.” You told him firmly and you weren’t lying, there was nothing between you and Loki, no matter how much you wished otherwise.
Tony just laughed as wrapped an arm around you, letting his head gently knock against yours as he led you out of the workshop and stepped into the lift with you.
“What am I gonna do with you, kid?” He asked, causing you to roll your eyes but there was a smile on your face too. “Just be careful, you hear me?”
“Aren’t I always?” You grinned up at him, letting out a laugh as he shot you a look.
“Get out of here, Y/L/N.” He said as he playfully pushed you away as the lift door opened.
You shot him one last smile before heading over to the common area. As you joined Clint, taking a tablet into your hands and beginning to scroll, you pushed all thoughts of Loki out of your head.
-
You sat alone in your room, staring blankly ahead at the wall, tears pooling in your eyes but you refused to let them fall. It had been a bad mission, god was it a bad mission. It should’ve been an easy situation to defuse, a few robots that had appeared from who knows where and began to shoot lasers all throughout New York.
There were more casualties than there should have been that day.
Loki had heard all about the mission from Thor before he came to find you, JARVIS being more helpful towards him than ever but he figured the AI was looking out for you as he gave your location up easily.
Loki knew that you had been the one to defeat one of the final bots after being assured that the area was cleared but the bot had ended up killing several civilians that hadn’t been accounted for.
He stood in the doorway, frowning at how pale you looked sitting on your bed. He wished he knew how to help but what could he say to make this better, was there anything that could be said to make this better?
“Hey,” He said softly, watching as you jumped despite his soft tone. “My apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
You didn’t reply, instead you nodded and forced a shaky smile onto your face.
Loki continued to watch you, not knowing what the right words for this situation were. The two of you had known each other for a while now but he had never let himself get too close to you, everything about you intrigued him but he knew he couldn’t act upon that so instead he kept your friendship at arms length and didn’t let himself get caught up in you.
Which was working great until now, now he wished he had gotten as close as possible to you because maybe then he could find the right words to say, maybe then he could give you the hug you looked like you so desperately needed.
Instead he went for a tactic that would leave everything to you, you could decide how little or how much you wanted to lean on him as you carried this hurt.
“Care for a drink?” He asked, holding up a bottle towards you and smiling as you looked up at him in confusion.
The silence spread on for a few moments and Loki was convinced that it meant no but when you slowly nodded he shot you a comforting smile.
Loki took that as all the permission he needed to enter your bedroom, letting the door shut behind him was a soft click. You pushed yourself up on the bed, continuing to watch Loki’s movements in confusion.
You knew your feelings for Loki but he had always made it clear that he didn’t feel anything, even if he never said it. The two of you may have been friends but there was definitely a difference in how he treated you to how he treated the others, like he didn’t want to get as close to you.
So why was he asking you if you wanted to have a drink with him?
As confused as you were you were also glad for the distraction, maybe that’s why you had said yes despite the confusion because your thoughts were now on Loki and not the terrible mission you had just endured.
It wasn’t long before you and Loki were settled down, one drink in and things felt a little awkward.
Three drinks in, however, both of you had relaxed enough and were grinning at each other as you spoke about nothing important. Loki wasn’t going to be the one to bring up today's events, right now his only goal was to take your mind as far away from it as possible.
A few more drinks in and personal space between Loki and you had gone. You leaned your head on his shoulder as you laughed and his arm ended up around your waist. It wasn’t long before you tilted your head up to look at him, the expression on his face changed immediately, the grin fell into a soft smile as he glanced from your eyes to your lips.
He leaned down, giving you time to pull away and when you didn’t he let his lips meet yours. The kiss was soft, it was hesitant, obviously testing the waters, and then it wasn’t. Then it was messy and heated and the two of you were pulling away panting for breath.
Loki stared down at you for a moment with wild eyes before his lips connected with yours again. He pulled you down, hovering on top of you as he trailed kisses down your neck and it wasn’t long before your mind was well and truly off the mission, the only thought you had now was Loki.
-
You woke up the next morning with a groan, the light shone far too brightly through the curtains and you knew despite feeling exhausted you couldn’t go back to sleep but the bed was warm so you made no move to get up just yet.
You lay there, in your bed, remembering the night before.
It was definitely a mistake but you couldn’t find it within yourself to regret it. You’d wanted Loki for so long and if this was the only way you had him, just one amazing night with him then you were going to savour it.
You opened your eyes and frowned as you saw the empty bed. Was Loki’s plan for him to be gone by the time you woke up, to just pretend that nothing had happened? You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you pushed yourself from the bed and began to change.
It didn’t take you long before you were dressed and heading into the kitchen on your floor. As you stepped out of the bedroom you froze as you saw Loki plating up two plates of food, him looking up at you with that smile of his.
“Morning, I made breakfast.” He told you, lifting the pan in his hands up as proof.
You felt your eyebrows knit together in confusion, not quite sure how this was going to play out. Just two minutes ago you had been so sure that Loki had left, ready to forget all about last night and instead you found him making breakfast?
“Thank you,” You said softly, taking a seat when he pulled it out for you.
Breakfast was a fairly quiet affair and it wasn’t until both your utensils were down that he spoke up.
“About last night,” He began before pausing, not knowing quite what to say despite going over it all morning. “I shouldn’t have come on to you like that, we were drunk and your head wasn’t in the right place after your mission. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of that and for that I’m sorry.”
“Hey, I knew what I was doing,” you told him, watching as he looked at you with wide eyes, a small frown on his face. “I knew what I was doing, ok? Trust me I may have been drunk and, yeah, the mission got to me, but I would have told you no if I didn’t want it.”
“So you don’t regret last night?” He asked, looking over at you with an unreadable expression.
You hesitated for a moment, you’d admitted as much but actually saying it out loud left you feeling unsure. You weren’t sure how he felt about last night, he hadn’t given much away about his feelings other than his own doubts of how willing you were.
You’d meant what you said, no matter how drunk or emotional you were, if you didn’t want his advances you would have told him, trusting that he would leave it at that. But you hadn’t said no, you wanted that night, if that was all you were allowed with Loki then you were glad you’d had it.
“No, I don’t.” You answered after a few moments of silence and you watched his face closely looking for any indication as to how he felt but he gave nothing away.
“Me neither,” He finally admitted softly, looking up so his eyes met yours. “So, where do we go from here?”
Before you could reply an alarm sounded through the tower, alerting you to another Avengers level threat, usually that was not a sound you wanted to hear but now you were relieved, having no idea how to answer Loki’s question.
You shot him a smile before you were up and out of the door.
-
As the months passed, you and Loki became closer and closer to the point where you were spending most of your free time together, the two of you went out for dinner together, no matter the time the other was always there to listen.
The team also noticed, they watched as Loki and you moved in sync with each other, whether it be training together in the gym or making breakfast in the common area kitchen. Tony wasn’t completely sold on whatever was happening between the two of you but he couldn’t deny that Loki had toned down his animosity towards the others and he especially couldn’t deny the smile on your face whenever Loki was around.
Months in and you and Loki had yet to define what was happening between you. You wanted to ask him, so badly, what this was but every time you tried you ended up backing out of the conversation, not ready to lose this closeness.
The two of you had slept together several more times and the time you spent together alone felt so much like dates that you were left feeling so uncertain.
On paper the two of you had been dating for months but in reality you had no idea what was happening.
“I told you from the start I didn’t think this was a good idea,” Tony said after he had pulled you aside and told you to talk to him after seeing you take your frustration and confusion out on a punching bag. You told him everything from the first time you slept with Loki on that drunken night all the way up until now. He sat and listened, patiently waiting until you were done. He could tell how much this was eating away at you, how much you needed to talk to somebody and even if you didn’t like the advice he had to offer, he was glad you trusted him with this. “But we both know you’re not gonna listen to me, so this is just a mistake you’re gonna have to make.”
You rolled your eyes but there was a smile on your lips. You knew Tony hated the idea of you and Loki together, not trusting Loki at all and not wanting the God to drag you down with him when things inevitably went south.
“Can you give me some helpful advice please?” You asked, causing Tony to laugh.
“Sure thing, kid.” He grinned, “You already know what you have to do. You gotta talk to him, Y/N/N, you want this thing to go somewhere you have to start at the beginning, define the relationship and if he says something you don’t like, you leave.”
Tony made it sound so simple but you knew it wouldn’t be, when was it ever that simple?
You knew why you kept backing out of having the conversation, it was because despite how Loki had been acting towards you, you actually had no idea how he felt. Sure the two of you had gotten closer, sure you went out to the movies and to dinner and the such and yeah Loki showed up at your door with take out and movies but at the end of the day you didn’t know if he wanted to be with you.
You could admit, even if it was only to yourself, that you had fallen hard for the man. The way Loki made you feel, nobody had ever made you feel like this before. Tony was right, even though it would be way more complicated than he made it sound, ultimately you knew he was right.
Tony watched your face shift from unsure to determined, he knew his words had gotten through to you. Honestly he didn’t have the best feeling about this but he knew how you felt and he knew you needed to do this, needed closure on how Loki felt.
All Tony could do was be there for you when things went to pieces.
-
It had taken a few days but you were finally going to talk to Loki. You had both invested too much time into each other for him not to like you, the way you were with one another, that wasn’t how friends acted.
You hadn’t told him you were coming, the two of you had long since had an open invitation in place, no matter the time. It wasn’t rare anymore for one of you to show up in the others room unannounced.
In the elevator you felt your nerves spike and ended up pacing in the hallway for an extra ten minutes trying to convince yourself that you could do this, you needed to do this. Despite the nerves though you had a pretty good feeling that Loki felt the same and that was the hope you clung to as you walked up to his door.
Again you paused but not for long. You let your hand close around the cold door knob and touch a deep, calming breath before pushing it open. In that moment it felt like a number of things happened at once, too fast for you to comprehend but before you knew it you were in the lift and heading down to the workshop.
Upon opening the door you saw Loki and a woman dressed in Asgardian clothes joined together at the lips, her legs around his waist as he pinned her to the wall, fingers tangled in her hair as her arms wrapped around his shoulders.
They both turned at the sound of the door opening, Loki looking at you with wide, pleading eyes, letting the woman’s legs drop from him. The woman, who you now recognised as the lady Thor brought to Earth once or twice a month to check on Loki’s progress and take notes to take back to Asgard, was also looking at you with wide eyes but before either of them could say anything you were gone. Loki tried to follow you out but by the time he made his way out the door, the elevator had already closed.
-
“You were right.” Were the first words out of your mouth as Tony looked up at you as you walked through the door.
He frowned as he took in the tears streaming down your face, mascara mixed with tears.
“C’mere kid,” He said as he pulled you into his arms, wrapping you in a tight hug.
You couldn’t say just how long the two of you stood in the doorway for but eventually you pulled away. Tony didn’t let you go far, taking your face in his palms and wiping away the tears. You smiled at him shakily and he gave you a sympathetic smile back, before pressing his lips to your head and guiding you further into the room.
It wasn’t long before you were tucked up against him on the sofa, a cold glass of water in your hands, courtesy of one of the bots. Tony hadn’t pushed you, hadn’t asked what had happened, he just let you take comfort in his presence whilst your mind played the scene over and over again.
“He was kissing that Asgardian handler.” You finally said and Tony’s eyes widened in shock, he hadn’t had high hopes for Loki but that was honestly the last thing he thought you were going to say.
“I’m sorry, kid.” He said. There were no words to make you feel better and he hated that. Ever since you’d joined the team Tony had taken you under his wing, training with you, helping you out in the lab once he realised you had an interest in building tech, overall he had taken his time and gone above and beyond to make sure you were happy and never wanting anything. Overtime he came to think of you as his own kid, he was always there for you when you needed him, now was no exception.
“Thank you for not saying I told you so.” You said with a sad laugh, eyes filling with tears again as you shook your head.
Tony couldn’t help but smile at that. He knew there was no warning you away from Loki, he had known from the second he saw that look on your face that you were going to do what you wanted even if he told you that you were going to get hurt. As much as he wanted to protect you, he knew you had to make some mistakes on your own and he just had to be here to pick up the pieces.
“You really think I’d say that?” Tony snorted, smiling as you turned your head on his chest to look up at him with a raised eyebrow. “I knew he was trouble but when do you ever listen to me?”
“Maybe I’ll start.” You shot back, a small but real smile on your face.
“Somehow I doubt that, kid.” Despite everything with Loki, you were thankful to have Tony. You wished you had listened to him from the beginning, you hated feeling like this. You knew the two of you hadn’t defined what was happening between you but you never would have thought he’d be kissing other girls.
Right now all you wanted was to push every thought of Loki out of your mind and there was no-one better suited for the job than Tony Stark.