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Shenhe had first met (y/n) on a cold winter afternoon—when the sun had been obscured by clouds and the Liyue plains filled with snow.
Shenhe enjoyed the cold. She liked feeling the freezing air nibbling at her exposed skin. The sensation of it grounded her in this reality.
She only mourned the fact that the cold would eventually fade into unbearable heat—and the snow would melt into obscurity.
The forest was so quiet when it snowed. Peaceful. She couldn't even hear the noises of animals rummaging around. She's sure that if she bothered to strain her ears—she wouldn't be able to hear a single thing...
Crack.
Shenhe's head whipped to the side. A fallen branch had been broken underneath someone's foot. That someone stared at her now—eyes widened in shock.
They stared at one another for a moment, and Shenhe only broke out of her stupor once she remembered this stranger was a mortal and probably on the verge of freezing in this weather.
What a fool.
"What are you doing?" Shenhe deadpanned harshly, her voice cutting into the serene quiet of the forest. She thought of softening her tone, but perhaps a wake up call would be needed for this woman to understand that she shouldn't be wandering the woods.
The woman visibly winced at her words, and Shenhe felt her emotions claw at her red ropes. She looked so sad. Shenhe stifled these thoughts.
"I-I only wanted to say thank you, Miss." The woman's shaky hands hold up a gift basket. Shenhe quirks a brow, and the woman continues. "You saved me, yesterday, and I wanted to sh-show my gratitude...!"
Gratitude? To her?
Shenhe eyed the basket suspiciously before walking over to the woman. She didn't take the gift, and instead passed by her.
"You are going to follow me back to Liyue Harbor." Shenhe says, walking in the direction the woman had come from.
If she had bothered to look behind her during the walk, she may have seen the woman wilt in rejection.
The journey to Liyue Harbor hadn't been one that she took a lot, but Shenhe still knew how to get there without much trouble. She only hoped no one would recognize her within the vicinity.
The two women didn't speak even once while they walked the path back to Liyue Harbor; and when they finally arrived, Shenhe expected to turn around again without any words.
The stranger's hand caught her wrist before she could turn away.
The point in which they touched felt like it was on fire—and Shenhe wanted so badly for her to let go—but both women stayed rooted in place. Shenhe in shock, and the stranger in determination. Even with this spark in her eyes however, the woman still seemed shocked at her own forwardness.
"Miss, please, if nothing else—" With a red face, the woman held up the basket once again. "—please take this. Not just for yesterday, but for today as well."
Shenhe stood there, frozen on the spot. The woman was still touching her—when was the last time anyone had touched her—and thoughts flooded into Shenhe's mind. Burning, burning, burning contact clouded each of her senses.
Shenhe finally takes control of her body back. Her face is slack and expressionless, but that is only because she is an expert at internalizing. She snatches her wrist away from the stranger; and gods, it still burns.
She doesn't realize she's taking the basket until she has it in her hands and the stranger is walking away sheepishly.
The woman pauses for a moment to turn around and look back at Shenhe. She's freezing, and yet she's taking the time to look at her.
The woman smiles softly. "Thank you again, Mi—"
"Shenhe." The apprentice interrupts, turning away from the woman to face the cold, lonely forest. "That is my name; do not call me Miss. And you would do well to never approach the wilderness again, seeming as how you constantly get yourself into trouble."
"...my name is (y/n)," The stranger—no, she's no longer a stranger—says with a laugh. What the hell is she laughing at. "I promise not to cause you anymore trouble, Shenhe."
Shenhe doesn't turn to meet the other woman's gaze. She walks away from her, not understanding the gravity of this first meeting.
(y/n) never promised to stay away from the forest, after all.
The temperature was still low and the trees were still bare when Shenhe met (y/n) again.
"You are not one for following instructions, are you?" Shenhe asks with her usual scalding tone, not even bothering to look over at the woman who had been watching her train.
"You knew I was here?" (y/n) asks wondrously, coming out from her hiding spot behind a close by tree. "You must have amazing intuition!"
"It is not intuition," A slash at the trunk, bark falls at her feet. "Only common sense. You are not trained in stealth, and that fact is almost painfully obvious."
(y/n) walks over, but she doesn't get close. Shenhe is still hacking away, after all. "Your voice isn't even wavering as you do that... you truly are very strong! It's amazing how fast your strikes are!"
Shenhe says nothing, and the conversation ceases there. They don't talk after that, and (y/n) watches silently—as if watching Shenhe train was the most intriguing thing in the world.
And what's strange about this interaction... is the fact that Shenhe does not ask her to leave.
"One believes that mortal girl is very sweet." Cloud Retainer says in all her divinely perfect elegance.
Shenhe pauses in her movements, turning to meet the form of her adoptive guardian from where she stands in Shenhe's bedroom doorway.
She felt cornered in the small space of her bedroom... is this meant to be confrontation?
Shenhe suddenly feels as if she's done something terribly wrong. "Excuse me?"
"(y/n). She's young, about your age, beloved by the people of Liyue for her kind nature." Cloud Retainer describes, and Shenhe wonders how a crane could possibly look smug. "A lovely woman, do you agree?"
"Master, please, leave me be." Shenhe asks, her face definitely not alight with red. No, she is not blushing. She does not blush.
It is rare for Shenhe to request anything of her master, and the adeptus watches her pupil with something like shock in her eyes.
Cloud Retainer bows, and leaves; but not without chuckling in a way that makes Shenhe want to cower like an embarrassed teenager.
"Your hair is so amazing, you know?" (y/n) says one day as she watches Shenhe meditate. "It's somehow colored just like fresh snow."
The mention of snow is lost on Shenhe, as it just reminds her of how it is all gone. No more snow dots the landscape, and the trees of Liyue are covered in growing leaves.
Shenhe's red ropes feel so constraining nowadays, and that statement from the other woman definitely did not help. "I was not born with this hair color, it took on this shade after my master allowed me to be her disciple."
(y/n) let out a charmed 'ooo!'. "Your master sounds really cool!"
That conversation from a few weeks ago wades to the forefront of Shenhe's mind. While she had been embarrassed... well, still is embarrassed... it was nice to see her guardian being involved in her new friendship.
Shenhe felt her lips curve into an uncomfortably uncommon smile. "Yes, I suppose she is."
"Shenhe!" (y/n) crawls over the dirt to poke Shenhe on the nose. "You can't just smile like that out of nowhere, you might kill me with your cuteness!"
Shenhe sighs, standing up and mourning over the effectively ruined moment. "Shut up."
"Aw wait, don't leave!"
She follows Shenhe—as she always does—as the cryo-user walks away. Shenhe ignores her calls and pleas to 'come back!' and lies of 'I promise not to make cheesy jokes anymore!'.
If (y/n) knew Shenhe left only so she could hide the redness on her cheeks at the joke... perhaps the teasing woman may have self destructed on the spot. Now that would have been a show.
(y/n) is late.
She is never late.
She always, always showed up at this time. Come snow, rain, sleet—hell, once an earthquake—(y/n) would be there.
A sick feeling settled in Shenhe's stomach. Something was wrong, she could just feel it.
Searching her hometown of Liyue Harbor first would be Shenhe's best bet, so that is what she did. Many batted an eye at her rare appearance, and Ningguang in particular seemed confused at Shenhe's questioning of a beloved resident.
Only one person had something close to an answer for her. The Wanmin Restaurant girl told her that y/n had eaten there for breakfast that morning before setting off to supposedly meet a 'friend in the forest'.
Shenhe's blood had run ice cold, then. (y/n) was not in the city; she was instead in the wilderness, perhaps lost, or eaten by a wild bear, or... something. Shenhe had been what you could consider 'panicked' less than ten times in her entire life—and yet right now she feels like she's about to set fire to anything in that damned forest that could hurt (y/n).
She considered asking for help before quickly smothering the idea. She didn't know hardly anyone in Liyue or their abilities. Cloud Retainer had been off for the past week, and Shenhe had no idea when she would come back. Her master had a way of being sparse whenever Shenhe truly needed her, it seems. She trusted no one else with this; she couldn't trust anyone else.
It would likely be more trouble if she ran around like a fish out of water trying to find someone to help her. She must do this on her own.
Shenhe left Liyue Harbor in a haste which bordered on non-humanly fast... it likely didn't help her image in the 'not letting others believe she's an adeptus' department, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. Not while her friend was in danger.
She wracked her mind for places where (y/n) could be. Shenhe's mind eventually fell to the bandits who robbed and kidnapped her in the first place. Their weak, defeated words ebb at her; their promises of revenge.
Revenge drives people to do stupid things.
Whilst cradled in Shenhe's arms—(y/n) wakes with a start.
Her voice is quiet when she speaks a stuttered: "S-Shenhe—?"
The aforementioned woman is silent, her expression as stony as the day they had met. (y/n)'s eyes span to the environment around them—realizing it's the path back to Liyue Harbor—one the both of them had walked many times over the past months.
Shenhe does not waver in the slightest at the effort of carrying (y/n). She says nothing, and yet her silence speaks what words cannot.
Memories of men emerging from the bushes—of rope constricting (y/n)'s wrists and a bruise on her eye. She had been knocked out, and only now does she awake—whilst in the arms of her love.
"Are you alright?" Shenhe finally speaks, her voice stiff and filled to the brim with receding anger. Only now does she notice the blood coating small parts of her savior's clothing.
(y/n) is... thankful that she was asleep during the time Shenhe was retrieving her.
(y/n) nods, leaning her head against Shenhe's body in an attempt to seek comfort. Her hand creeps up to the bruise covering her cheek and reaching her eye—and Shenhe noticeably tightens her hold on the woman in her arms.
"I'm sorry." (y/n) says simply, her voice wavering at the edges.
"For what?" Shenhe asks incredulously, emotion finally cracking through her tough exterior.
"I promised not to cause you any more trouble, and I broke that promise. I'm sorry."
"You broke no promises," Shenhe claims, her shoes crunching against the dirt path with further fervor. "How could you possibly know those worthless men would capture you? I never told you to stop visiting me—if anything, It is my fault you were harmed like this."
"Shenhe—"
"No." Shenhe silences y/n with a harsh glare. "It was wrong for me to care for you. I bring only misfortune to those I love—"
"That is not true." y/n pleads, her tone betraying her obvious sorrow. She pushes herself out of Shenhe's tightening grip, thankfully catching herself on her own feet as she turns to grasp the other woman's face. She is... so close. "Shenhe, if anything, you have brought me happiness. I love every moment I'm with you—even if it is one like this; where we are yelling at one another. Do you understand what I'm telling you...?"
Shenhe feels her tears she hadn't even noticed being wiped away, and she understands. She knows how (y/n) feels about her—but the curse... she couldn't allow herself to inadvertently cause her love any pain. She couldn't live with herself if she did.
"I-I cannot, (y/n), I could never allow myself to—"
(y/n)'s eyes were determined. Shenhe is reminded of the moment in which she had first felt the woman's touch—the hand holding her retreating wrist feels much less overwhelming than the lips now claiming her own.
Shenhe has never been kissed before, and the gesture stuns the fear out of her. (y/n) pulls away—her eyes still burning.
"Those words are wrong," (y/n) is whispering, and yet her voice feels so loud in Shenhe's ears. "And even if they were true—they could never keep me from you, Shenhe. Never."
Words are lost on Shenhe, then. These simple claims from a woman she didn't even know until a few months ago have her clamoring. She's scared, so scared of the possibilities that could arise from their love.
She had forsaken joy and love when she had taken on Cloud Retainer's apprenticeship; and yet here she is now, another woman's hands holding her face and the ghost of her lips on Shenhe's own.
The two women stand there; the darkness of the night making each of them hardly visible—the only light being from the slight luminescence of the moon through the forest leaves.
The red ropes feel all but useless, now. She feels so weak, relenting to the feelings which she hadn't allowed to control her for so long, but she also feels power.
Shenhe is quiet when she reaches for (y/n), her arms wrapping around the other woman in an embrace. They stand there for who knows how long—and Shenhe only says a few more words before letting go—the words a whispered, slightly muffled confession.
Even so, (y/n) can feel the ghost of a smile in Shenhe's words.
"And I promise, I shall do the same for you."