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Somehow Komori had gotten to the point of being able to convince Suna, every Friday, rain or shine, that they should go out. It wasn’t out of need or necessity. There wasn’t even any payoff, if anything the worst part about it was that they’d go home each night, both a whole lot poorer.
Yet here they were, hair still wet from their after practice showers, hands stuffed in giant puffer jacket pockets, walking down the street to the nearest Izakaya bar.
“Atsumu said Sakusa and him were spending a couple of days in Hyogo.” Suna’s breath was visible in the dark sky, the only thing they could see that wasn’t highlighted from the street lights.
“I heard. I swear they give themselves too much credit. They seem to always forget that we were the ones to make them realize they were in love with one another.”
“Hey, give them some slack, it’s not their fault they didn’t know that having your fuck buddy move in with you wasn’t just being nice.” Komori huffed out a laugh, and Suna slipped out a familiar smile.
It wasn’t anything new. One Komori had seen hundreds of times, but nonetheless it still seemed to stun him.
“They invited me to come.”
“Aren’t they leaving tomorrow?” A sudden rush of emotion ran through Komori, he assumed it was the cold.
“Yeah.”
“Oh,” Komori said with a light tilt to his voice. He wasn’t expecting for Suna to go with them. Sure he has family up there, and was close with the Miyas’ but, when breaks opened up in their schedules, Komori was the first Suna came to. They never did anything special, but they were friends. Dinner, drinks, heck, even Suna dragging Komori to watch the new anime episode he came to be obsessed with. It was always Komori.
But it’s not like he cared.
They left it there, continuing down the street to their destination.
The neon signs of the bar came into view, and Komori had to admit he was just about ready for a drink.
They got seated at the counter, the bartender signaling to the both of them that he'd be right with them.
“You do realize I declined the offer.”
Komori snapped his head,staring in confusion, “What?”
“I wouldn’t be sitting here next to you, planning to be drunk if I was leaving for Hyogo tomorrow morning,” Suna continued to laugh at Komori’s shock.
“God you’re horrible sometimes,” Komori tried not to mumble, but he couldn’t help that the accusation didn’t sound truthful.
Komori didn’t care whether or not Suna went.
The bartender came back to them, Suna told him his drink, then took a quick glance at Komori. He added what seemed to be Komori’s order and then dismissed the bartender.
God, how many times had they done this so that Suna was able to pinpoint exactly what Komori was craving with one look.
The music blasted through the speakers, and though he knew Suna was talking, Komori couldn’t hear. He decided it’d be too much of a hassle to ask him to start over, so instead Komori just watched.
He watched Suna’s lips form the words he didn’t understand, he watched as Suna’s eyes lit up from the story he was retelling, he watched the way his eyebrows moved in different expressions to mimic his feelings. It was almost like a silent film, surrounding Komori in his own world.
That seemed to be happening a lot, at practice, watching Netflix at one of their apartments.
“Drink up!”
Having shoved the liquor into his hand, Komori snapped out of his daze, clinking his glass against Suna’s.
“You alright?”
“Yeah, fine.” Komori knew it didn’t matter, but he was curious. That’s the only reason he asked, “So why aren’t you going?”
Suna met his eyes for a second waiting to see if Komori actually wanted to hear the answer.
“Well, felt like I just visited the folks. And Anyways you know how annoying it can be to travel with the two of them. Insufferable idiots in love.”
“Yeah, must be nice.”
Komori took a sip of his drink. It was sweet and the piece of fruit that floated at the top gave a nice tang.
“I mean, I also thought that we'd hangout.”
Friends do things like that, they meet up over breaks and hangout. But Komori-
“Oi Komori, why your cheeks so red? Don’t tell me you’re drunk already!” The touch of Suna’s hand to his shoulder sent shutters down Komori’s body.
Komori was in fact not drunk, he just felt very very hot right now.
Apparently, Suna had no shame. With every touch, glance, even the shit eating grin he’d give, Komori was practically overheating.
It had to be the alcohol, it just had to be.
“Ya know, Washiro’s always asking if he can tag along.”
“Well maybe he could if he wasn’t such a lightweight. Seems like he’s a quarter of the way drunk on his second sip.” Suna barked out a laugh, plunging his body forward because of the impact.
“Don’t get too cocky, you leave me to carry you home half the time,” Suna continued, his body rocking back and forth.
Komori remembers those nights. They’d always start normal, just the two of them needing a couple of drinks after an exhausting week, but after a while, Suna just seemed to become so delicate.
Suna was anything but angelic, but somehow-
“You remember that one time, you were so sore that you just fell asleep at the counter, couldn't move anything. I’m pretty sure you could've drowned in your drink if I didn’t move it for ya!” Suna seemed to relax at the memory, a fond smile stretching across his cheeks.
Just like the one from those nights.
He’d never admit it, but sometimes Komori pretended to be too tired to walk, just so he could see it up close.
The bar smelled thick of fried food, of sweat beating off the guests bodies, but all Komori was focused on was the scent of the cologne he knew Suna drenched himself with after every practice.
It was dark, with only a light glow radiating off candles and lanterns scattered around the tables, but right now Komori could see Suna’s face perfectly. The bridge of his nose, his curved lips, the dimples he got when laughing. Everything seemed to be heightened even in his current state.
Suna grabbed his drink, his hands just about as big as it, and swung it back. His adam's apple bobbed as the liquid went down his throat, and Komori just couldn’t help but stare.
He shouldn’t. It would be a horrible mistake. They were teammates, friends, nothing more. God, Komori didn’t even know what kind of consequences would come if he said it.
“That’s unfair.”
Suna turned his head slightly, eyebrows cocked in the tiniest tilt, ”Mhm?”
There was still time, Komori could make up an excuse, cover up the truth before it got out of control.
“You. You’re being unfair.”
Suna only continued to stare, looking past the surface of Komori’s eyes, seeing if he could get any clue as to what he meant.
“You’re just sitting there. You’re just sitting there doing nothing and I have honest to god butterflies in my stomach.”
Well, Komori was in deep shit.
Suna just stayed quiet, the silence quite frankly killing Komori. He probably shouldn’t dig his grave any further, there would already be repercussions from his earlier mistake.
“Goddammit Suna, you’re driving me insane.”
And there. He said it. Everything that had been holding Komori hostage, out in the open.
Komori couldn’t stand to stare at him a minute longer, deciding to bury his face into his hands.
The music didn’t stop, people were still shouting over it, but now Komori couldn’t hear any of that. He didn’t even know why he said it, but he did, and there was no going back now.
“Hey, Komori-”
But he could stall a little.
“I need another drink!” Komori had to interrupt, he wasn’t ready. He didn’t want to hear what Suna had to say, there was no need when Komori knew it could tear him apart.
“Komori. . .I don’t think that’s a good idea. . .”
“Please! I just need another drink.” He didn’t want to sound upset. There was no reason for him to be upset, but Komori couldn’t help but realize he’d felt the start of wet tears.
Although Komori wished he’d forgotten about the night before, he didn’t. Instead of waking up to a pounding headache and memory loss, it was unfortunately just the former.
It’s not like other nights where there's a gap in his memory, filled with only snippets of when he was slightly less drunk. No, this time Komori was stuck with it all. His stomach swirling every time Suna looked his way, how his skin burned with yearning whenever he touched him, the blush tickling his cheeks while he watched Suna just start laughing.
Oh, and the part where he messed it all up and told Suna that he has a crush on him.
Due to his lack of memory loss, Komori wasn’t all that excited to get up. He trudged out of bed though, leaving a pile of blankets scattered.
First he headed for the bathroom, because Sakusa likes to say, the best therapy for someone who’s too broke to afford therapy, is skincare.
Next Komori goes for coffee because he likes to say, always drink coffee.
Suna would always roll his eyes at Komori saying that’s bad for an athlete's health while taking a sip of his tea.
Komori then goes for the cabinet, eyeing his collection of mugs. He gathered them as gifts from friends, family, picked them up at local markets, even bought an expensive matching set because Sakusa got annoyed at the fact that Komori, who seemed like a functioning adult, didn’t have one.
And then of course there was the one he customized, World’s Biggest Dick, for Suna’s birthday that he liked to keep at Komori’s.
When he gave it to him, Suna only had a look of disbelief on his face and said, “It’s an honor.”
Goddammit, he shouldn’t be thinking about him.
But then there was a knock at the door, and then Suna was standing right in front of it.
“Your eyes are puffy. . .you’ve been crying.” Of course Suna noticed.
“Fuck off.” Komori was tempted to just shut the door on him right then, it’d save a lot of issues, but it seems like Suna knew him too well and held the door with his hand before Komori could get any ideas.
“Hey, c'mon just let me in. It’s the least you could do after dropping that bomb on me last night.” Suna had no right. He had no right to demand his own needs when Komori was tearing himself apart inside and out because he practically confessed his love to one of his closest friends. “And you did make me carry you to the taxi again.”
Fair enough.
Komori tries not to show any expression as he lets Suna in, but by now it’s no surprise about how he feels.
Suna, after taking off his shoes and slipping on his pair of slippers kept at Komori’s place, heads straight to the couch. Komori assumes he’s aiming for a sense of familiarity, when the situation they’re in right now is anything but.
“Do you want some tea?”
“Sure, thanks.” The only reason Komori offered was frantically because he was frantically trying to hold off whatever the conversation they were going to have, as long as he could.
He also never got his coffee.
Staring back at his mugs, he contemplated which one to give Suna.
The birthday mug has been stained from use, and wasn’t in the greatest condition, but it might be Suna’s last time using this mug at Komori’s house. And if he was getting ready to reject Komori and ignore him for the rest of their career, it would be a pretty big dick move.
Komori gave Suna his eucalyptus or whatever Komori grabbed from the cabinet, and went to sit on the chair across from the couch.
Even from farther away it seemed like Suna could stare into Komori’s soul and easily read his mind.
“Hey, so. . .” Suna clears his throat and tries to continue, but instead Komori just thinks it’d be easier if he started.
“If I’m being honest, I think I’ve liked you for a while. I just- didn’t notice.” Komori couldn’t bear to look up, if he did, he would’ve sworn he’d start crying. “It’s pretty stupid, how could I have not realized. Everytime I’m with you, I don’t want to leave, it’s like I can never have enough of you. Ever. That’s selfish but-”
Komori was so focused on his own rambling that he didn’t notice when Suna moved from his spot on the couch, to right in front of him, kneeling to meet his eyes.
“Komori, look at me.” And just like that, Komori could feel his eyes begin to sting again.
Suna stopped for a second, making sure that Komori was, in fact, looking at him. Then he grabbed Komori’s hands and held them.
“You don’t know how stupid you actually are.”
Stunted at Suna’s audacity, Komori retracted his hands, but not before Suna could tighten his grip.
“You’re stupid because I like you too.”
Well that wasn’t supposed to happen.
“What?”
“I like you Komori. I mean I’ve liked you. For a long time.”
Komori wasn’t sure if he was hearing that right. He’d just told Suna he liked him, and he said it back?
“What?”
Suna just stared blankly back at Komori.
“You. . .like me?”
“Yes! Yes Komori I do, now can we move on?”
Daydreaming wasn’t a common hobby for Komori, but he had to believe that he was indulging in it right now. He was waiting for the punchline, the wildly unrealistic animal that’d burst through the door any moment. Because Komori wouldn’t believe this.
“Prove it.”
Komori knew he got him. It was the most logical next step, to corner the supposed “Suna” and end whatever trickery his mind was playing on him.
Apparently it didn’t work though, because now Suna was kissing him, and it felt an awful like real lips.
Komori didn’t wake back up, finding himself back in bed, nope. He was in his living room, soft lips pressing against his, a hand on the back of his neck steading the kiss.
This wasn’t a ghost, some sort of premonition Komori had, this was the living, breathing Suna Rintarou.
The same one that Komori was starting to fall in love with.
After a few moments, Suna left Komori’s lips, his stomach already churning with the want for more.
“That enough proof for ya?” It was easy banter, Suna’s smirk playing across his face.
And it was all that Komori needed to have a slight crisis about how this was actually real.
“So. . .you like me? Like, like, like me?”
Komori could tell Suna was holding back his laughter, but he didn’t care, he needed to make sure, just one last time.
“Yes, Motoya. I like you. Your goofy smile, the way it’s tilted just a little to the left, your humor, and how although it’s quite frankly the worst I’ve heard, I can’t help but laugh every time. I like your mind, the way it thinks and how even though it’s not the best at math, you make up for it by the indescribable kindness you have towards everyone you meet. You listen, and even if you’re not, you at least care enough to pretend-”
“I always listen.”
Suna gave a small side eye, like he could easily recount a couple of instances where he’d have to pull Komori out from spacing out.
“Point is, I want to always be with you too. I never want to leave you, Komori. And heck, while I’m confessing n’ all, I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long. Ya know that? Every day, I swear you’re awful, but I guess I can’t say that because that was one heck of a kiss, and I don’t want to pressure you or anything but I wouldn’t mind doing it again-”
“Ok.”
Suna was rambling, and Komori stopped him, but he still couldn’t deny how cute it was to see Suna’s flush deepen with each word.
“Ok?”
“Ok, kiss me again.”
Suna didn’t need another confirmation. And neither did Komori.
This time when Suna kissed him, he knew it was real, genuine. That Suna reciprocated his feelings, and Komori could bask in the floaty feeling in his stomach.
"You wanna really see if I have the world's biggest dick?"
"Get out."