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Remus has always been afraid.
When he was 2 years old he was afraid of the monsters that were under his bed, at 5 of those yellow eyes and those sharp teeth that did not let him sleep, when he was 7 he was frightened by the screams of his parents in every fight caused by his condition, at 9 he was afraid of the moon that seemed to be following him, at 11 he was scared that those four boys with whom he shared a room would find out his secret, at 14 he was scared that his body, so young but so damage and tired, at 16 he was terrified of that feeling he had towards a certain individual with black hair, grey eyes and a seductive smile.
And from the age of 18 onwards the only thing Remus remembers is that the feeling that has stayed there, that doesn't leave him and always accompanies him, has been fear.
And then he lost everything.
He wasn’t afraid anymore, because what could he be afraid of at that point. So he lost his fears and with that his dreams, goals, illusions, everything.
He became numb. But not completely because in those rare moments were his mind chose to wander done memory lane and bring back those faces of his past, the only thing he could do was drown them, drown those memories, those feelings, because it hurt, it fucking hurt. So he drown his memories and sorrows, sometimes with two or three bottles of the cheapest alcohol he could find or sometimes with his tears, sobs and pained screams.
But then he was numb again. Empty. The shell of the guy he once was.
Then, one day, he was faced with another shell of a man, so broken and so fragile, it was scary and Remus began to feel a certain sensation that hadn't been with him for a long time.
Fear.
He was back and with him everything came back, all the happiness, all the love, the warm smiles, the pain in you gut from laughing so much and all those wonderful happy feelings that Remus had missed so much. But it also came back, the pain, the anguish, the hatred, the betrayal, the loss.
But, oh, to look into those grey eyes and feel home, oh that was a sentiment that Remus would never get tired of and he had needed it so much, that’s he gave his entire self, all the pieces that he could find of himself, he gave it to Sirius, to that boy that he had loved so much and so sincere, to that boy that now was a man; broken, scared and lost, just like him.
Those two pieces of broken man that each one was, united them to be one, because Remus and Sirius have always complemented each other and that was the secret of their love, and of that piece that emerged with so much love and dedication from both of them, with that love so great that it goes beyond describing it with words, from there came the infinity of their love, that love that stayed and left a mark, and, if you don't believe it, just go out at night look up to the sky yams look at that dog created by the stars always next to the moon.
Sirius and Remus.
The moon and the star.
Always and forever.