Chapter Text
Kaz’s breath let out an involuntary tremble as Pekka’s hand ghosted over his neck, the floor creaked as Pekka crouched down behind him, “Isn’t this familiar? I will ruin you like you ruined me; I will crush you because I know your dirty little secret.”
Kaz swallowed as he glanced over to his crows, all tied up in the far corner of his room. Gagged and blindfolded, their arms tied together as Pekka’s goons stood above them.
Pekka grabbed Kaz’s neck, and he jumped, his head slamming against the back of the chair he was tied up in. Pekka chuckled darkly as he squeezed tighter, cutting off Kaz’s air.
He bucked violently but the ropes did their job perfectly as they dug into his wrists, soon enough blood dripped down his wrists and ankles and yet the ropes dug into his skin still.
“Take their blindfolds off, I want them to see just how weak their little leader is,” Pekka ordered as he released the pressure around his neck just enough to let Kaz take in a few agonizing breaths before his head was wrenched back, his neck digging painfully into the wooden back of the chair.
“Fuck,” Kaz gasped as Pekka’s sneering face blocked the view of the water-stained ceiling.
Shuffling could be heard from the corner as Pekka’s goons presumably removed his Crow’s blindfolds. Pekka looked up and Kaz’s neck muscles tightened in preparation for his hand to tighten once more.
Bile rose in Kaz’s throat, the feeling of freezing water and bloated bodies was so vivid he almost passed out, black spots danced in his vision, but he refused to squeeze his eyes shut as he so desperately wished.
Kaz grit his teeth at the sound of Pekka’s voice, the familiar feeling of rage filling every fiber of his being, “Leave, I’m ready to have my fun.”
The sound of a door opening and swinging shut could be heard through the waterfall in his ears, Pekka let out a grunt of approval and leaned in close, so his mouth was level with Kaz’s ear, “While on vacation I did some research, Kazzie,”
Jordie always called him Kazzie.
“And I found that I did remember, I remember your fucking fool of a brother.”
Kaz let out a shout of rage as he whipped his head back, smashing Pekka’s nose, a crunch resounding through the room, “Shut up or I will rip your son apart!” Kaz shouted.
Pekka grabbed a fist full of Kaz’s hair and yanked it, the chair going back with him, so it balanced precariously on two legs, “You fucking rat! When I’m done, you’ll be lying face down in the fucking Reaper’s barge, you’ll burn like you should’ve years ago!”
Kaz’s breath caught in his throat, “No.” Kaz flexed his bare hands, Ghezen he must look so weak right now. And his crows could see everything, but he couldn’t be bothered because he would not become Jordie. “No, you wouldn’t.”
“You were never fucking reborn, you were always nothing but a fucking pigeon waiting to be plucked,” Pekka tightened his grip on Kaz’s neck once more and with the combination of the pulling on his hair, Kaz wanted to scream at the unfairness.
Muffed protests could be heard from his crow’s.
Oh, his crow’s.
Kaz didn’t want them here, he wanted to send them far away, as far away from him as possible because they did not deserve this. They deserved to live wonderful lives, unlike him.
But they were still here, because Ketterdam wasn’t fair.
Kaz bucked violently, the chair wobbling. Pekka released his grip on Kaz’s hair, and he fell forward, his head hung low. But that didn’t stop Pekka’s fingers from digging into Kaz’s windpipe.
Pekka moved in front of Kaz, “Do you want me to let go?” He asked innocently, a dark sneer plastered on his face. Kaz blinked sluggishly, Jordie stood just behind Pekka. His twinkling eyes looking down on him.
“Oh, Kaz.” Jordie said in a joyous tone that certainly didn’t match the situation.
Kaz locked eyes with him and a small grin touched his lips, because he hadn’t heard Jordie’s voice being so kind in years. It had always been blaming and anger from him, and although Kaz had never let himself think on it, Kaz had begun to forget what he looked like.
“Jordie?” Kaz managed to say and Pekka let out a laugh as he stepped back, his hand leaving Kaz’s throat, and just like that Jordie disappeared.
“No,” Kaz’s head shot up, no he wanted Jordie back, “No, no! Bring him back dammit!”
Pekka laughed cruelly as he turned to his crows, “See? And just like that I can prove that your leader is nothing but an insane, young boy. Not fit for anything but pain and death.”
But Kaz ignored whatever muffled answer they would say because he wanted nothing but for Jordie to come back. And to his horror he could feel a pressure behind his eyes.
IwanthimbackIwanthimbackIwanthimbackIwanthimbackIwanthimbackIwanthimbackIwanthimback.
Kaz hung his head low and squeezed his eyes shut, his sweat soaked hair creating a barrier between him and the rest of the world.
Because it was true, Kaz did not control revenge and greed, he was created for pain and death, they were his only common friend.
But Kaz would not break, so he seized any thoughts of Jordie and shoved them back into the dark corners of his mind. He reeled Kaz Rietveld and cast him back into the dark waters of the harbor.
But Kaz allowed himself one more deep shuddering breath before looking back up, he would not allow himself to fracture again.
Kaz locked eyes with Pekka and what a sight Kaz must be, bloodshot eyes and wild untamed hair. He gave his best unhinged smile at Pekka, “I wield pain and death, they do not control me.”
Pekka gave a pitiful smile, “That’s what everyone thinks before they truly witness it firsthand,”
Kaz glanced at his crows for the first time since they were brought in, they looked at him sadly and he wanted to wipe the looks off their faces, because Dirtyhands doesn’t need or want pity. He sneered at them before turning back to Pekka, “You may have done your research, but I experienced it all firsthand. Pain is my friend who made me a gang leader. Death is my savior who carried me out of the harbor all those nights ago, so tell me Pekka how have you known them firsthand?”
“Nothing but your animalistic urges let you survive that night,” Pekka turned towards the
five crow’s and gestured at Kaz wildly, “This fucking psychopath used his brother to swim back
to shore and yet he couldn’t even find the sympathy to bury him. He just left poor little Jordie to rot.”
Kaz bit his tongue, “Well I guess a psychopath is all you need to be to survive the barrel, that and the endless crave for violence.”
“If you think that earns my respect then you’re wrong.”
“I don’t want your fucking respect, I want you in pieces at my feet,”
Pekka gave a small tut, “And I don’t need your respect, all I need at this moment is how you wish to be tortured.”
“Pardon?” Kaz raised an eyebrow as Pekka lifted a dusty tablecloth to reveal an array of weapons, chains and whips hung off the edge while knives, hammers, and guns rested on the tabletop.
Next Pekka moved to the fireplace, striking a match and tossing it onto oil-soaked wood, Kaz could now see the brand that lay deep in the blaze.
“I think you heard me quite clear, Kazzie.”
“Stop fucking calling me that, old man,”
“Choose,”
“And what if I don’t?” Kaz questioned, “Will you just kill me now?”
Pekka chuckled, “No, you just get to pick one of your little friends get to die first,”
Kaz faked a wide smile, displaying blood stained teeth, “They’re barely friends, acquaintances at most,”
“Then you wouldn’t mind if I messed up, pretty boy over here?” Pekka picked up a small switch blade and gestured to Wylan.
Kaz bit his tongue and turned to look at them, Jesper had moved in front of Wylan and openly glared at Pekka while Wylan simply stared at Kaz with wide eyes.
The other three were looking between Pekka and Kaz with mixed looks of anger and terror. Kaz made a point to not look at Inej, he couldn’t bare what she must think of him.
“Van Eck was useful but there will always be more foolish merchants to dupe,” Kaz felt as if the words weren’t his own even as he spoke them slowly while purposely making eye contact with Pekka.
This does not bother me. I serve no one but myself.
As soon as Pekka turned his back to approach Wylan, Kaz’s eyes went wild and his head whipped around to find some way to escape, because he couldn’t see Wylan get hurt.
But he couldn’t show weakness.
Kaz tried to keep his breaths from becoming ragged because why was Pekka walking so slow. He wanted to stretch the few seconds it would take for Pekka to cross the room to Wylan into a millennia as well as speed it up so it would just fucking end.
Pekka kicked Jesper out of the way and Kaz let out a growl.
Kaz was at the point where he was fucking growling. How embarrassing. How animalistic.
Jesper let out a muffled protest but the moment Pekka hovered the switchblade right over Wylan’s eye he grew quiet. Kaz made his decision immediately.
Kaz tensed as Pekka pulled his hand back, preparing to strike, “Fuck you, Pekka.” Kaz hissed. Kaz couldn’t see Wylan get hurt like that, it might destroy Kaz if that ever happened, Wylan would not end up like Kaz, “Get away from him.”
Pekka let out a loud laugh, “You almost got me, Kazzie. I was worried you might actually let me do it to the poor boy.”
Pekka tapped Wylan on the cheek with the blade before standing up and dusting his trousers off.
“Best not to delay this, I choose knives. Maybe I’ll be so lucky and bleed to death.” Kaz tilted his head back, exposing the neck, “Or we could just get to killing me?”
“Death is a mercy you have do not yet deserve, Kazzie.”
That damn name.
“Stop calling me that, dammit.”
Pekka let out a small hmph, “Well seeing how your shirt is already messed up from the fun you had with Verce and Tek earlier maybe I’ll just remove it, I’d like to see what I’m working with anyhow,”
Kaz tensed as the floor creaked under Pekka, “I want to see you rot, I want to see the moment of horror on your sons face when he realizes that his daddy was stuffed and turned into a doll just for him. And I wouldn’t but if I was truly as sick as people think I am then I would eat you fucking alive, I want to chain you to the fucking ceiling and strip off your skin, slowly, slowly so you can feel every stroke of my fucking knife.”
“You’re in no position to say these sorts of things, I might actually act on them,” Pekka had stopped his retreat and rested the tip of his knife just at Kaz’s shoulder.
Kaz slowly rolled his head back so he could Pekka straight in the eye, “I want to lock your son in a tiny little cage so I can cut off one of his tiny little fingers every time I’m bored, and I’d send them to you in a tiny little package so you know just how your son is feeling. I want to see you buried under the weight of hundreds of dead bodies and have to use your son as a life raft. I want to see you cold and shivering as you feel what I felt-“
Kaz was cut off as the knife was slammed into Kaz’s shoulder with so much force it splintered the chair and sent tiny little chips of wood into Kaz’s back. Kaz gasped as Pekka flicked the hilt of the blade, sending vibrations of pain throughout his body.
“I will sew your fucking mouth shut if you don’t stop talking.”
Kaz knew he wasn’t bluffing, but so what? “Shit, Pekka. Didn’t know you had it in you.”
Pekka ignored him and instead reached for the back of the chair. He dragged him over to the spread of weapons with an agonizing screech of wood against stone. Pekka positioned Kaz so he was staring right at his crows, and that was probably the worst thing of all.
“Can’t you send them away? This really is just between us, no need to rope them into all of this,” Kaz sighed which sent another vibration down his body as it jostled the knife.
“What kind of show is it if there is no audience? Now let’s get that shirt off of you and see what we’re working with huh?”
Kaz let out a soft groan as Pekka ripped the knife out of his shoulder. Kaz avoided the gaze of his crows as Pekka dragged the knife down the fabric of his shirt, Kaz swallowed dryly as bile rose in his throat at the idea of so much skin being exposed. The loss of his cane and gloves was torture enough.
Pekka had to make multiple cuts to get the shirt off fully, and he casted it into the fireplace the moment it was free.
“That was expensive,” Kaz muttered to make himself feel in control, snarky comments were his only companion as of now.
“You won’t need it.”
“Ah, I almost forgot about my future untimely death.”
At the feel of so many eyes on Kaz’s bare skin, he hunched in on himself. Usually, he wouldn’t be so self-conscious about his scars but the situation certainly allowed for an exception. And pitted scars from the plague had always seemed to stand out against all his others.
Out of nowhere, pain exploded from his wounded shoulder as a thicker and longer knife stuck out. Kaz threw his head back in pain and protests were heard from those in front of him, “Gah!” Kaz shouted as the knife twisted brutally, “Fuck…. You,” Kaz gasped between pained breaths.
“Please, we’re just getting started.” Pekka grabbed another knife and tapped it against Kaz’s forehead thoughtfully, “Look at all these scars! You’ve cheated death so many fucking times! And the Queens Lady scars, I thought you at least had the luck to avoid that!”
“No, you didn’t, you bastard,” Kaz groaned.
“We might need to reopen some, you’ve cheated death far too many times, boy. But you won’t cheat me,” With a quick slash of the knife Pekka sliced open a past wound on his abdomen and dark blood gushed out quickly. Kaz’s breaths turned ragged, and his eyes widened, blood was never a good sign, but blood this dark was even worse.
“I… thought you… I thought you said I… wasn’t going to die yet.” Kaz murmured so softly he wasn’t even sure if Pekka heard until he let out a laugh.
“We can cauterize the wound if you’d like?”
Kaz took a sharp intake of breath, he kind of preferred to die but Pekka seemed to make the choice for him. Pekka moved towards the fireplace and the sound of shifting wood filled the room. Kaz wondered if his lips had turned blue yet, he kind of hoped they did.
Kaz just wanted to fucking die already.
Kaz finally allowed his gaze to meet his crows and to his horror saw that they seemed genuinely upset. Kaz’s eyebrows creased.
Why?
Before Kaz could think any further there was a sharp poke in his side and he jumped, “Don’t slouch, Kazzie. Bad for your posture.”
Kaz’s mind had begun to move sluggishly, and it took a few moments for him to register that Pekka had jabbed him with fucking burning metal.
“I want you to stare each of your little friends in the eye while I do this and if you don’t, then I drag this out much longer than it needs to be,”
Kaz blinked slowly in response and lifted his head so that he was staring Matthias down. Kaz hoped he looked intimidating, but he probably just looked pitiful. Matthias seemed to look just behind Kaz as the metal rod was harshly pressed against his wound.
His back arched immediately in pain with a shout, and he could have sworn he lost consciousness for a moment, but he managed to keep his eyes on Matthias. After a few agonizing moments the rod was pulled away from Kaz.
Kaz finally, finally came up with a good idea.
The moment Pekka turned around, Kaz twisted his head sharply and slammed his temple against the back of his chair. Everything went black instantly.