Chapter Text
Bestfriend was such a good friend. Better than all the other friends combined. In other words, bestfriend was THE best bestfriend. That’s why you got invited to eat dinner with him.
Bestfriend opened the door to the McDonalds. So polite. He seated you in a booth not too far from the McPlayPlace. The smell of ugly children and grease hit your nose as you settled. So nostalgic, you thought.
Bestfriend sat at the seat across from you, staring at your soul and judging you. After 15 minutes of silence, Bestfriend chirped up.
“So what are you gonna order, Y/n?”
Oh yeah, you were on a McDinnerDate.
“Uhm, idk, maybe a McChicken or something. I’m not like other guys. I eat spicy McChickens.”
You ended your sentence with a lip bite, and Bestfriend blushed. Just then, Michael Afton from blueycapsules showed up in his sick roller skates.
“Good day, innit? Whar can I get for ya chew-day?”, he said with a thick British accent. (idk im not bri’ish)
“I’ll get some chicken nuggets with some of that heavenly crisp sprite, plz.” said Bestfriend.
“I want a spicy McChicken now, with orange Hi-C and crunchy ice.” you demanded.
“yass.” said Mike, as he roller skated off to his boyfriend Jeremy in the kitchen currently burning a pizza. They were probably never gonna get their orders. Or at least get them right.
Bestfriend looked over at you, clearly bored. You looked around for something to do, and then you remembered the McPlayPlace. You got up and dragged Bestfriend over to the giant, smelly, plastic castle. You intertwined each other’s hand and went up the red slide.
It was like being transported to a different world. You guys just crawled around hoping you didn’t find any puke or child corpses. Eventually, you both were tired out and decided to kick a child down a ladder before going back to your booth. The food hadn’t come yet, but your drinks did. You both were dying from dehydration, and slurp slurped all of the delicious sugar water.
“Hey Y/n, I need to use the restroom rq, brb” said Bestfriend as he waddled to the bathrooms. You were left alone, but in just a few seconds you heard a phone ringing. It was coming from Bestfriend’s side of the booth,so you used your super flexible bod to reach over the table and grab the phone from Bestfriend’s Vampire Diaries backpack.
Who is Tyson? You thought after reading the screen. You answered.
“Hello?”
“hEY tHEre babY GRiLl” someone said over the phone, you could feel them doing a lip bite.
You were in shock. Bestfriend was supposed to be your baby grill.
“Who is this.” You demanded.
“WaChu MeaN baBez”
What. Why. Why would Bestfriend do this? You hung up without a second thought. You were heartbroken.
Bestfriend came back not a minute later.
“Hey Y/n-“
“Who is Tyson?”
Bestfriend went pale.
“Waddu mean Y/n?”
“I’ll give you one more chance. Who is Tyson.”
Bestfriend gulped cartoonishly.
“My husbando.” Said Bestfriend with a shaking voice.
You were about to start crying, when there was a bang on the entrance doors. The glass shattered, and there stood our god, Mitski.
“Hi guys.” She said in a powerful voice. “I sensed tension and came as fast as I could.”
She clasped her hands together, and then Pearl appeared. Then, Pearl started to play “A Pearl” Mitski.
The windows started to shake, and the McDonalds was lifted into the air.
“Wtf” said Mitski and she disappeared with Pearl.
Then, Sans emerged from the kitchen with Nagito and they started to kiss. Mike and Jeremy jumped out of the windows with parachutes and were having a roller skating date away from the rest of the losers stuck at flying McDonalds.
The McDonald’s started to rapidly spin around and around and around.
You were prone to motion sickness and puked all over Bestfriend. Bestfriend was disgusted. You started to apologize, when a gun went off. You looked at your chest, and there was a bullet hole. You clutched your chest and sank to your knees. Your vision was starting to fade and while Bestfriend tried to keep you awake you could feel someone staring at you from behind. You looked behind you, and there stood Tyson. You didn’t know what Tyson looked like, but you could sense it was him.
With your last remaining strength, you grabbed your Nokia phone out of you pocket and started to blast “19-2000” by Gorillaz. The McDonalds exploded and everything went dark.
You woke up outside of a Kum and Go gas station. In your hand was a cherry slushy. You were wearing the exact same clothes as you had on the McDinnerDate. You reached in your pocket to find your indestructible Nokia phone, blasting ur Gorillaz playlist. Wtf do they put in these slushies, you thought.
You threw it in a nearby trash can, only to find Bestfriend waiting there.
“Hi Y/n! So… I was thinking.. do you maybe wanna go on a McDinnerDate..?”said Bestfriend.
You gasped. You knew you had future seeing abilities. You ditched Bestfriend bc you didn’t wanna die and instead used you powers for
good, eventually becoming the president and finding the cure to cancer and stopped the apocalypse.
And outlawed the name “Tyson”.