Work Text:
The average speed of the Tokyo metro train amounts to about 80 km/h. Due to infrequent delays, the length of the trip from the designated point A to point B usually did not change. Thanks to that, one could always plan their day easily without worrying about any issues that might possibly occur.
Ichika Hoshino preferred to stick to her usual routine. She would leave the hospital at 5.30 p.m. and arrive at the station after a 7-minute walk. The train always left precisely at 5:39 p.m. She'd then take the same seat as always and, after a couple of transfers, she'd be home, usually a bit after 8 p.m.
That's not what always happened, however.
That was a plan for every second Saturday of each month; maybe Sundays, if those happened to be the only possible dates. After all, this is what she promised to Saki; visiting days were quite limited, which resulted in certain difficulties in finding the best time. On top of that, there still were some responsibilities with school and the band.
However, would it even make sense to talk about any kind of a “band" if the keyboardist hadn't been out of the hospital for over a year?
Ichika never really liked her journeys back home. Being completely alone with her own troubling thoughts would often leave her feeling distressed and anxious. Sometimes, she'd manage to lock them away while listening to music; most of the time, however, she had to close her eyes anyway, to stop the tears from escaping.
The appearance of the hospital room itself never changed at all, too. She had to stare at the same white walls, and blue curtains; the same bed placed by the window, and a small cabinet to its right, as well as a delicate vase with flowers in, usually the ones Ichika had brought before. Every single time, Saki would greet her visitors with her usual bright smile and her typical enthusiasm; almost as if she didn't fully realize the situation she was in.
Ichika knew, however, that this was not true. Having spent more than 10 years with her friend, she gained the ability to read her emotions perfectly. With each successive visit, she saw her smile become more and more forced, and the tone of her voice showed that she herself was already ceasing to believe her own assurances that she would get out of there any moment now. However, she had some reasons to believe that; after all, she did manage to come back to her usual life once before. Ichika's thoughts often drifted back to those events; the ones she experienced two years ago.
***
“Ah, Hoshino-san, good morning! I hope we'll get along well!”
“Saki!” the black-haired girl was quite surprised, “Why didn't you tell me you were coming back to school?”
The blonde laughed awkwardly.
“Come on now, I'm sorry. I just wanted it to be a surprise!”
“Well, you succeeded at that...” Ichika sighed deeply, “But, you know what? I'm... really glad you're back. I missed you," the girl smiled.
“Come on Icchan, don't say that!” Saki blushed slightly, “You'll make me tear up...”
After Saki returned during her first year of high school, things seemed to slowly come back to normal. Of course, after spending all of junior high in the hospital, there were plenty of things the girl wanted to try out and again, Ichika had to accompany her in all of her shenanigans. Their contrasting personalities never bothered the girls at all, though; reuniting with each other seemed to be a breath of fresh air in those times.
Obviously, there happened to be problems along the way. After all, what would life be without conflict?
Shiho and Honami continued to remain distant. Even the return of their friend did not seem to persuade them to try to make any type of contact. But after all, there had to be a reason for their behaviour, right?
The path Ichika had to follow was full of setbacks, but she was well aware that as long as Saki was by her side, there was no obstacle that couldn’t be overcome. Although most attempts to strike up any conversation with Shiho and Honami ended in failure, at least they had each other. That’s what mattered the most.
***
There's a common belief that some people's emotions can't be read that easily, especially if the other doesn't want to let that happen at all. However, SEKAI was created from the dreams and feelings of four people, not two.
The harmonized sound of four instruments at once helped some recall the times from their childhood.
“Alright, that's enough," Shiho said, lowering her gaze to the floor, "Miku, we did what you asked for, we played the song together. Now, tell us how to get out of here." the girl ordered firmly.
“Maybe it's better this way?”
“Two still feels a bit lonely, doesn't it?” Saki asked, stretching out on a chair in the now empty classroom.
The lessons were long over, but there were still two people left in the room. Sometimes, they would just sit there, for about 10 minutes; mostly because they admired the silence and the opportunity to spend some time alone together.
Saki's desk was next to the window, in the third row, just behind Ichika's desk, who in return focused on watching the students leave the building.
“Hey, Icchan, are you even listening to me?” the blonde leaned towards her friend, which effectively snapped the girl out of her thoughts.
“A-ah, yes, of course! Sorry, I just... got lost in thought.”
“Geez, you need to focus more on your surroundings," Saki began, "What if someday you miss when someone wanted to tell you something important?”
“Like what?”
“Like...” the girl started thinking out loud, dragging the last word, “Like, if I wanted to inform you that Shiho-chan and Hona-chan want to start a band with us after all!”
Ichika smiled.
“You've always been such an optimist," she said, "Some things really don't change, do they?”
“Well, this whole situation can't last forever!”
“Yeah...” Ichika suddenly changed the topic of the conversation, “Saki, I was wondering... Why don't we start a band? I mean... Maybe it would somehow encourage them to join, too?”
The expression on the blonde's face changed from her usual amusement to surprise.
“Really? You'd like that?” she asked.
“I know it's just the two of us, and that you wanted more of us in it, but...” Ichika started to explain.
“Are you joking? That's more than enough!” Saki immediately got up from her seat, “So, when do we start our practice? Oh, and we still have to come up with a plan if we want to get Shiho-chan to join! You know how demanding she is... Wait, where would we even practice? All of it, it's-”
A veritable stream of words began to pour out of Saki's mouth. At one point, Ichika couldn't even remember what the beginning of her monologue was, since the topic changed every other second. The black-haired girl got up from her seat and threw her bag over her shoulder.
“Saki...” she began, “I know you're excited, but you need to remember to not overwork yourself. We don't have to rush anything, you know?" Ichika smiled slightly, as if to assure Saki of the truthfulness of her words.
“You don't have to worry about me, I've got everything under control," the pink-eyed girl said, "I definitely have no intention of going back to the hospital again! Now that I'm out, I finally get to enjoy my life to the fullest!” the girl gave her friend a bright smile.
Ichika knew she would have to watch over her anyway. After all, that's how it's always been. In the end, however, the only thing that mattered is that she wasn't alone anymore.
***
They managed to run into Shiho a few weeks later, at the music store, when Saki wanted to buy a keyboard for herself.
“I see you're taking this seriously." the gray-haired girl said that in her classic, cold tone.
“Are you sure you don't want to join us?” Ichika asked.
“You know very well that I don't have time for that.” having said that, Shiho started getting ready to leave, “However, that doesn't mean that I don't wish you good luck.”
“You're leaving already?”
“They don't have what I was looking for, anyway.”
“We understand, Shiho-chan,” Saki suddenly spoke up. “But please remember, there will always be a place for you if you need it!”
Perhaps that got Shiho thinking. Perhaps also, seeing the determination of her friends, she was no longer able to remain indifferent. However, she couldn't let it show.
“You know... I can't stand seeing people who can't take what they do seriously," the gray-haired girl suddenly spoke up.
“Huh?” the statement surprised Saki, “Shiho-chan...?”
The green-eyed girl was silent for a moment. Still avoiding eye contact with any of her friends, she continued.
“In junior high, I was invited to join a band by an older student. That... did not go as I expected. They couldn't even play a song half decent..." she said, with contempt in her voice, "But..." the girl hesitated.
Ichika and Saki froze in place, listening to Shiho's story.
“Perhaps I was too harsh," the gray-haired girl sighed, "They eventually kicked me out. Maybe that was for the better.”
“Shiho...” Ichika muttered.
“Okay, so be it. But I do have to test you if I were to join,” the girl started looking for something in her bag; she pulled out a single sheet of paper, then handed it to Ichika, “It's an excerpt from a song I've been practicing lately. We'll make an appointment at the studio in two weeks, and if you manage to learn it and play it decently, I'll consider joining.”
“Really...? Thanks, Shiho-chan! You're the best!” Saki embraced her friend tightly.
“H-hey! That's enough, let me go! Ugh, geez...” the girl smiled slightly.
When Shiho left the store, Ichika and Saki were left alone again.
“Icchan... We did it!” the blonde was beaming with enthusiasm, “There's no way that won't work!” the girl smiled widely.
Ichika stood in place, unable to believe what had just happened.
Saki was finally happy. For the first time in a long time.
That was enough to put a smile on the blue-eyed girl's face. She couldn't really say anything other than a simple "Yeah, we finally have a chance now." but now, she could feel something new forming in her. Hope.
***
“Okay, we're starting to sound a lot better already!” Saki said enthusiastically.
“You think so?” Ichika asked, “I'm.. not sure, this phrase is quite difficult...”
“We just need to practice, right? Since Shiho-chan will be accompanying us now, it's only a matter of time until Hona-chan joins us too!”
Ichika did not respond. Her thoughts remained elsewhere, specifically at the music store a few days ago. Is it really possible to come back to what it used to be? To the days, when all four of them were together?
The girl quickly shook off these thoughts. Maybe it is possible after all; especially considering how easy it was to convince Shiho. And thanks to whom?
“Hey, Saki...” Ichika began.
“Yeah?” the blonde replied, having removed her hands from the instrument.
“I just wanted to thank you,” the black-haired girl raised her gaze from the floor and looked at her friend, “If it wasn't for you, I probably would have given up a long time ago.” Ichika smiled slightly.
Her sudden words definitely caught Saki off guard.
“H-hey, I didn't really do much... If anything, I'm the one who should be thanking you! After all...” the girl hesitated for a moment, focusing her gaze on the ground, “Ever since I came back, you've been a huge support to me in everything. You're always there when I need you, and I know I can rely on you... If it wasn't for you, I probably never would have been able to do all this by myself! So... Thank you too, Icchan," Saki's tone seemed to be warmer while saying this. She lifted her gaze and looked deeply into her friend's eyes.
Ichika felt herself smile even wider.
“Well, we're friends, right?”
“Yeah! Forever and ever!”
This time, the silence seemed easier to bear.
“Alright, the break time's over. We should get back to practice.”
***
When the day of the gig came, it became obvious how terrible Saki was at keeping her promises.
Even before entering the studio, she could feel her headache worsening. While ignoring it at first, she couldn't really shake the problem off anymore when the pain became tougher to bear. At that point, she just took some painkillers trying to ease it off, not wanting to worry her friends.
What became most troublesome, however, was the overwhelming dizziness during the performance itself. She did try to hide it, but everyone already managed to see that something was clearly wrong when the girl collapsed to the ground.
It all happened all too quickly; Ichika and Shiho stood still for a moment, as if they didn't quite believe what had just happened. It didn't take long to strike a reaction, however - the black-haired girl quickly moved towards her friend to help her up, while Shiho took her phone out of her bag without a second thought.
“Shit...” she muttered under her breath, trying to mask the trembling in her voice, “I'm calling an ambulance right now.”
“H-hold on, you can't do that!” the blonde mouthed, while lunging forward at the same time.
“Wait! Saki!” Ichika shouted, grabbing the girl's forearm, “Please, sit down for now, then we'll think of what to do next, alright...?”
Saki, though reluctant, nodded affirmatively, then sat down on the couch nearby. Ichika placed herself right next to her, in case of the girl collapsing again. Shiho, on the other hand, tried to convince the blonde about the righteousness of her decision.
“Look, they need to examine you after this!” she began, “If it's a relapse, we have to detect it quickly-”
“I can't go back to the hospital again!” Saki interrupted her, “I've already missed out on too much in my life!”
Shiho fell silent, and the mix of irritation and anxiety on her face was replaced by sadness. Saki rarely raised her voice at anyone; even she herself seemed surprised by her sudden outburst, as she immediately started her explanations.
“It's just... I get that you're worried. But I've been going for check-ups and... My doctors said there's nothing to worry about, as long as I take things slowly... And that's exactly what I failed to do,” the girl fell silent for a moment, still avoiding eye contact with any of her friends, “I wanted this to be a success, so I spent a lot of my time practicing... Well, looks like I overdid it after all,” she raised her hand to her face, trying to wipe away some of her tears.
“Saki...” Ichika couldn't say much. She hesitated for a bit, before placing her hand on her friend's shoulder, trying to provide her with some sense of comfort.
Shiho, on the other hand, stood still, staring at the floor. She quickly shoved her hands into her hoodie's pockets and looked towards the door.
“It's my fault. I shouldn't have given you so little time for such an advanced phrase,” after failing to get an answer, she headed for the exit, “I'll get you some water, Saki. I... think there was a dispenser somewhere in the hallway.”
There were only two people left in the room now. Ichika didn't even notice when her grip on Saki's shoulder tightened.
There was nothing she could do to protect her. How come she didn't notice anything? After all, they did see each other every day, if not at school, then at practice. Did she not notice that she had less energy? That she seemed to have trouble focusing? That she looked exhausted?
She should have paid more attention to her. How could she forget about something so important? Or, to put it another way, how could she have been so blind? The questions swirled around her head and there was no indication that they would leave any time soon.
“I'm sorry, Icchan..." Saki's almost inaudible voice snapped her out of her thoughts.
“What are you sorry for...? the black-haired girl asked, taking her hand off the blonde's shoulder.
“I promised you that I would take care of myself, but...” Saki hesitated for a moment, “I don't know what's going to happen now. Because of me, we failed Shiho's test and... I-I don't want to go back to the hospital...” the girl's voice trembled slightly.
“Saki, I...” Ichika's voice failed to escape her mouth.
“I just... I don't want it all to go downhill again, just like it did when we were in junior high...”
A single tear ran down Saki's cheek, stopped at her chin, then fell down onto her skirt as quickly as a first drop of morning rain.
As another one began to gather in the corner of her eye, Ichika lifted a hand towards her face; placing it on her cheek, she wiped away the tear with her thumb in a quick motion.
“Saki... I know you're scared, but right now we need to focus on your wellbeing.”
The blonde turned towards her friend and looked deeply into her eyes, almost as if she was searching for something in them.
“We have plenty of time, you know?” the black-haired girl continued, “There's no need to rush. It is important that you take care of your health, though. We'll walk you home, you should go to bed right away. We're going to take a short break, okay?”
Saki nodded affirmatively.
“I'm here with you...” Ichika said, grabbing the girl's hand, “And I'll always be. I promise” the blue-eyed girl smiled reassuringly.
Saki, though still a bit uncertain, smiled back and already seemed to calm down. Before she could say anything, however, Shiho returned to the room.
“Here, have a drink," she said, handing the girl a cup of water.
“Thanks..." Saki replied, taking it in her hand.
After a moment, Ichika got up from the couch.
“I think we should walk her home...” she turned to Shiho, “You know, to make sure nothing happens along the way.”
The gray-haired girl looked at Saki.
“Depends on whether she feels better or not.”
“It's fine with me, really. I... think the pain's starting to ease off a little.”
“Alright, but please, promise me that if you ever feel worse, you'll let someone know.”
“I promise," Saki said, then threw the cup into the trash can next to her.
***
Shiho never wanted this to happen and obviously, she blamed herself for everything.
Walking back home, she could no longer hide the fact why exactly she had to distance herself.
“I guess my behavior was just... unbearable," Shiho sighed, "People didn't want to have anything to do with me.”
Everyone thought of her as this cold, unfriendly person who wasn't even worth approaching if you didn't want her to snap at you. In the end, Shiho was afraid that the others might experience some difficulties in class because of their friendship, so she decided to distance herself from everyone. Especially when the rumours about her friends have started.
“I wanted to protect you," she explained, "But now I see I ended up causing more harm." Shiho looked away.
Ichika looked at her, then embraced her without a word.
“H-hey! What are you-”
“I'm so sorry, Shiho...” the black-haired girl began, “If only I had done something earlier....
“Come on, don't blame yourself now..." the green-eyed girl replied, hesitantly hugging her friend back.
They stood like that for a short while, after which Shiho started quietly muttering something.
“Can I... come back to you...? To the way things were?”
Ichika let her go.
“You don't even have to ask!" the girl smiled.
***
After a week, Saki finally returned to her usual self. And now she couldn't stop thinking about Shiho coming back.
On the way to the studio, they talked to each other the entire time; if you could even call it a "conversation" and not a one-sided string of questions.
Ichika couldn't help but smile at the sight. Saki's happiness was her happiness, and now that Shiho was finally back, she felt she was getting closer to their goal.
However, Honami still wasn't with them.
And Ichika couldn't forget those days in junior high.
The same class and echoing laughter; and in the middle of it all, her dear friend, sitting alone in her seat. Without anyone that would be by her side.
The black-haired girl noticed that something was wrong; after all, Honami was well liked and had a lot of friends; so why was she sitting alone, trying to hide her tears?
No matter how many times Ichika tried to initiate some sort of a conversation, assuring her that she could talk to her whenever she needed to, the girl always replied that everything was fine. And when Honami herself started avoiding her, eventually the girl stopped trying anymore.
And she shouldn't have – at least that's what she thought.
If only she had done something, anything; if only she hadn't abandoned her, things would have been different. It's her fault that Honami isn't with them now. It's her fault that-
“Icchan, are you okay?” Ichika suddenly heard a familiar voice.
“H-huh? Ah, yes!” the girl answered quickly, “I'm sorry, I just got lost in thought...” the black-haired girl laughed awkwardly.
Saki, as well as Shiho, looked at her with suspicion.
“It's just... I'm really so glad we're all here together." the blue-eyed girl uttered as she tried to hide her worry. She shouldn't think so much about it; if Shiho's here with them now, then it's only a matter of time until Honami joins them too, right?
***
Honami, on the other hand, continued to wonder how much longer she would be able to hide this. How many more times would she have to turn down her friends' offers to join them?
No, she must stay strong.
She's doing it for them. She must protect them. Surely, it will be hard at first, but it won't be long before they all forget about each other. It will be better that way. After all, the last thing she'd want is them suffering because of their friendship.
Holding a bag of fresh apple pie in her hand, she walked alone across the street, glancing every now and then at the night sky. She started to remember how all four of them, while still in elementary school, saw a meteor shower. It's not an easy to forget sight.
But without them by her side, the sky seemed to lose all its colors.
"Is it so wrong to care about others?"
Honami continued to remember the question she asked Ichika in junior high. When the whole class thought of her as an asslicker, she had to do something so that her friends wouldn't get hurt just because they knew her. What she didn't know, however, was that it would only cause more problems. But still, how could she have known that?
***
More weeks have passed. Hope was almost completely lost.
“Hona-chan just doesn't give in, does she?” Saki smiled sadly.
Ichika kept quiet. She knew how hard they tried to convince Honami to join them, but there were always some excuses; she doesn't have time, she's busy, her friends are calling her. But after all, as Ichika saw her leaving the bakery, even before Shiho joined them, Honami seemed to be talking to her so... casually. Before she had to leave once again, of course.
“Maybe Hona-chan just... doesn't want to be our friend anymore?” the blonde wondered.
Ichika knew exactly what answer her friend wanted to hear. But she couldn't lie to her, she couldn't bring herself to.
“I don't know, Saki... I don't know.”
The pink-eyed girl only nodded at those words. What else could she do, anyway?
***
“Hey, Hona-chan!” the blonde, having seen her in the hallway, quickly ran up to the blue-eyed girl.
“Ah, Saki! You see, uhm...”
“Don't worry, it'll only take a moment, okay?” the girl smiled reassuringly, “You know, I just wanted to apologize. For not respecting your decisions.”
“Saki…?”
“I know that you don't want to be in a band with us,” the blonde crossed her arms, “And there's nothing wrong with that! It's just... I won't force you to join us anymore.” Saki's voice trembled slightly while saying the last words.
Honami did not answer. This whole situation was a dilemma she couldn't solve.
“Anyway!” the pink-eyed girl continued, immediately returning to her usual enthusiasm, “Thank you for everything. I won't bother you anymore, okay? Just promise me you'll take care!” the girl laughed.
Honami tightened her grip on her sweater. She really wanted it all to end, to go back to what it used to be. But how could she allow that to happen, if there's still the risk of her friends getting hurt?
Before she knew it, the blonde was gone. Honami only managed to mutter two, simple words.
“Wait, Saki...!”
***
All three met again in the hallway.
“Hey, guys?” the pink-eyed girl began.
“Yeah? What is it, Saki?” Shiho asked.
The blonde took a deep breath. Resting her hands on her hips, she began to speak.
“I spoke with Honami. I already told her that we won't be forcing her anymore, so... now that everything is settled, she can finally be happy, right?” Saki smiled. A bit too wide. It didn't take long for Ichika to notice the emotions hidden behind her mask of an expression.
They all arrived to this conclusion together; that it was time to finally let go. Since Honami continued to effectively avoid them, it must've been because she just didn't want to have anything to do with them anymore. It was Saki who came up with the idea of speaking to her in person and now, things were starting to become complicated once more.
“You know, I...” Saki's voice trembled, despite her best efforts to hide it, “I just want Hona-chan to be happy... Whether with us or by herself, but...” she hesitated here, trying to get rid of the soreness in her throat, “Did we do something wrong...?”
Ichika and Shiho could not answer the question. Having received no response at all, the girl continued, changing the tone of her voice almost instantenously.
“Haha, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” she gave them a prolonged laugh, “I'm ruining the atmosphere again...” Saki crossed her arms, “It's just that... Huh?”
The girl raised her hand to her face and immediately noticed the tears streaming down her own cheeks.
“Ah, that's... weird...” the blonde laughed awkwardly, “Why... Why am I even crying...?”
Ichika could feel the pain gradually growing in her chest. Clenching her fists, she felt herself trying to supress the urge to cry, too; normally, she would have dropped her gaze to the ground, attempting to hide her tears. She was well aware that she wasn't yet ready to say goodbye to Honami; additionaly, the sight of Saki in this condition made her feel utterly hopeless.
“Honami, I swear...”
Shiho focused her gaze on the wall, keeping her hands in the pockets of her hoodie.
“What the hell is she thinking, making Saki cry like that?” she continued, taking her first step forward.
“W-wait, Shiho! Where are you going?” the question quickly escaped Ichika's mouth.
The girl did not answer but instead, took off into the unknown. Considering whether to follow her or not, Ichika managed to make the first few steps.
She immediately changed her mind, however, when a subtle sob reached her ears. Her friend, trying not to make too much of a noise, was reaching up to her face every now and then, wiping away the tears escaping her eyes.
“S-Saki...” Ichika mouthed quietly, trying to stop herself from crying.
The black-haired girl stepped closer and, without a word, took the blonde's hand in hers. This caused Saki to slowly raise her gaze, looking into Ichika's blue eyes, in which a few tears had already managed to form.
Eventually, a single one of them found a way to escape anyway. Ichika's hands trembled and she felt a soreness in her throat, preventing her from saying anything. She didn't know how she could help her friend at this moment, and that alone was driving her crazy.
Then, she felt something different on her cheek. Gently placing her free hand on it, Saki wiped away Ichika's tear with her thumb; the same way she had done just a few weeks ago.
“Don't cry, Icchan...” she said quietly, trying to maintain some sort of a steadyness in her voice.
Ichika nodded a few times.
“Sorry, it's just... I'm the one who should be comforting you right now...”
Saki did not reply. Instead, she lowered her gaze to the floor, and a quiet sob escaped her mouth again, although this time, the girl no longer tried to suppress it.
Ichika let go of her hand and without saying anything, embraced her tightly.
“Huh? Icchan...?”
The blue-eyed girl didn't respond. Saki, although at first with hesitation, slowly put her hands on Ichika's back and hid her face in her shoulder.
The girl brushed her black hair off, and then lifted her hand to place it on the blonde's head.
“I'm here, Saki..." she said, slowly caressing her.
The blue-eyed girl quickly felt her friend's hands tighten on her shirt. They stood like that for a while, with Saki quietly sobbing into her shoulder. Ichika didn't say a word, wanting to give the girl some time to calm down, only running her fingers through her hair every now and then. And when the crying stopped, she felt Saki's embrace slowly loosen.
***
“So... What exactly did you tell her?” the black-haired girl asked.
Shiho sighed, adjusting the bag on her shoulder.
“Something I shouldn't have. As usual."
Ichika lowered her head. They walked for a moment in silence, moving past various stores and other passersby on the street. When they reached the scramble crossing, the blue-eyed girl spoke up once more.
“Well... you often got carried away when it came to your emotions.”
“When I was seven. I shouldn't be acting like that anymore.”
Red light.
“At least I can be certain that you're still willing to act when any of us is getting hurt.”
“...sometimes impulsive. Without thinking." Shiho added.
“That willingness to take action... Is what I like so much about you." the black-haired girl turned toward her friend.
Green light.
“I have to apologize to her," Shiho said, moving forward.
“Do you know why she's acting the way she does?”
“Because she's making the same mistake I made.”
Ichika fell silent for a moment, wondering how she should respond.
“I wouldn't call it a 'mistake'...” the black-haired girl continued, “More like... a clumsy attempt to protect us.”
Shiho sighed.
“Looks like we're not that different after all... all the more reasons for me to think about when I should just keep my mouth shut. But... when I saw Saki cry...” the girl fell silent for a moment, “Yeah, Saki! I just... I just left her there! When I should have stayed...”
“I'm sure she doesn't hold it against you. I mean... that's Saki we're talking about." Ichika assured her.
Shiho's words broke the silence.
“Thank you for staying with her." she spoke up.
The black-haired girl turned toward her, looking at her in surprise.
“You know, at first I wanted to chase after you," she began, "But...”
“You didn't want to leave her?”
Ichika nodded.
“In the end, I'm the one who really left her." the gray-haired girl said that so quickly that the blue-eyed girl still wondered for a moment what her friend had said to her.
“Shiho?” she asked.
The girl tightened her grip on the strap of her bag.
“I decided to play the role of the martyr, and look what happened. I wasn't there for her when she needed me most... It's a miracle she still wants to have anything to do with me.”
Ichika didn't know how to respond to that.
“That's why it's a relief she wasn't alone at that time," Shiho raised her gaze and looked at the black-haired girl.
“You mean...?”
“I've heard a lot about you from Saki," the girl continued, "It seems like you really haven't changed at all. You still take care of your loved ones the same way you always have. And Saki even kept the flowers you brought her… something like that?”
Ichika stopped. She raised her gaze to the sky and with a slight smile on her face, began to speak.
“Saki really is an amazing person,” she laughed under her breath, “Even when she was in the hospital, she always found some way to brighten everyone's day. Always smiling, full of energy and positivity. I know she didn't want us to worry, but... she wasn't afraid to show her weaknesses, too. In junior high I witnessed how strong she really is. So much eagerness to learn, so much... desire to live life to the fullest, even in her situation...” Ichika blushed slightly,” If it weren't for her, I would have given up a long time ago. I feel like because of her, I started to see the hope again. But...” the black-haired girl hesitated, “I... hurt her too. I lied to her for so long that everything was fine...” she sighed, “It's not something I can forgive myself for so easily.”
“Didn't you two talk about it already?” Shiho asked.
“Yeah, of course we did!" Ichika replied, “It's just...”
“You can't bring yourself to let go, can you?”
The blue-eyed girl nodded affirmatively.
“Well...” Shiho began, “Now we have a chance to correct our mistakes.”
***
Ichika knew exactly what she needed to do. She had misjudged her friend, which led to the consequences she still was facing in that very moment, yet now, knowing how Honami felt, she was going to let her know that they had no intention of leaving her.
Shiho often got carried away with her emotions. She would act impulsively, without thinking. However, there is no doubt that she was willing to do anything for her friends.
Saki, on the other hand, always wanted the best for everyone, sometimes putting her own needs aside, which happened now, too.
The school rooftop in SEKAI was lit up by millions of stars shining in the vast night sky. It was certainly a unique sight; and something Ichika wanted Honami to see.
She hesitantly followed the black-haired girl out onto the roof. When the girl approached her at school, talking to her about how she wanted to show her something, Honami knew full well that she would be acting against herself if she refused.
Although she was hindered by fear, she herself could no longer live in a constant lie.
“Do you remember when all four of us saw a meteor shower together?” Ichika asked suddenly.
“How could I forget...?” Honami answered after a short while.
“I talked to Saki about this some time ago," the black-haired girl continued, "Remember how she kept getting the names wrong? Even now, she still can't remember them...”
“Really? But I've explained it to her so many times!”
“And then she started making up her own constellations...”
“And Shiho immediately joined in...”
Ichika hadn't seen her friend smile in a long time.
“Hey, Honami?”
The girl turned towards her.
“We're well aware of the situation you're in, but... we don't want you to be alone anymore. We, I want us to be together again. No matter what anyone says.”
Suddenly, the memories came flooding back. How many more times will her classmates exclude her from their school life, talking behind her back and calling her names, just because she wanted to help?
“I... I don't want the same thing happening to you... Just because you somehow still want to be friends with me...” some tears started to appear in the corners of her eyes.
In fact, they all stopped caring about the possible consequences a long time ago. They just wanted to be together again; and that could come true when both Saki and Shiho arrived at the SEKAI.
“Honami, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, for everything I said-” the gray-haired girl kept repeating.
“Hona-chan, if you still want to, maybe we could...”
And in the middle of it all, Honami, finding herself in a real whirlwind of emotions; sobbing, muttering a single “I'm sorry” every now and then. But that didn't stop the rest from embracing her.
“It doesn't matter what they're saying," Ichika said, "You're our friend! We want to be with you, no matter what happens.”
“Is... Is it really possible to come back to what it used to be...?” Honami cried out through her tears.
“I don't think so," Shiho denied, "We're not kids anymore. But I do know we can make sure to shape our future, the way we want it to be.”
Honami stayed silent for a while.
“Does that mean... we can be together again...?” she asked.
“What kind of question even is that? Of course we can!” Saki replied in the matter of seconds.
And in that particular moment, things seemed to come back to normal.
***
Ichika's pen wandered across the paper aimlessly, writing something down every now and then, only to erase it again moments later. When her motivation to write came upon her as unexpectedly as it did now, writing all the ideas down without forgetting anything, proved to be quite difficult.
“What are you doing, Icchan?” after hearing the familiar voice, she jumped in her seat a little, visibly startled.
“S-Saki!” the girl quickly turned around, “H-how long have you been standing there?!”
“Hm?” he blonde tilted her head to the right, “Only for a short while. You're a bit jumpy, did I scare you?”
The black-haired girl sighed deeply, simultaneously folding the sheet of paper in half.
“You could say that. Next time just... Don't stand right behind me while I'm doing something...”
“Sorry, sorry!” the pink-eyed girl laughed, “I just wanted to see what you were so focused on!” the girl put her hands on her hips, “A new song, maybe?”
“Well, it's just a draft anyway...”
“Aha, so I was right!” the blonde smiled brightly, “So, can I read it?”
“No way." Ichika quickly cut her off.
“Oh come on, don't be like that! Just the first line...”
“You know very well I won't give in,” Ichika shook her head, “Besides, we have to focus on something else anyway.”
“Yeah, I know... Shiho is seriously giving us a hard time, huh?” the pink-eyed girl sighed, smiling.
“You can't really be surprised!” the black-haired girl laughed, “After all, she was always the one who would take everything so seriously right away...”
“And it was impossible to even meet her crazy demands! But still...” Saki fell silent for a moment, “I'm... really glad we're doing this together again.”
Looking at her friend, Ichika could feel herself smiling instantly.
“Yeah... Me too, Saki," she said, "We'll make sure it stays that way.”
***
“We need to work on our coordination. Saki, you tend to lose the pace. Oh, and you have to stop confusing the chords while singing, Ichika.”
“Come on Shiho, give us a break...” Saki complained, “We just ended our practice for today!”
“Guess we just have to work harder,” Ichika laughed, “Shiho definitely won't go easy on us.”
“Look, someone has to make sure you're not slacking off...” the gray-haired girl muttered.
Honami smiled.
“I really missed it all so much...” she began, “Our hangouts, practice, the breaks we would spend together...
“I have to admit, if it weren't for Icchan, it would have been pretty hard to get you all together!” saying that, Saki clung to the black-haired girl's arm.
“H-hey, Saki!” Ichika blushed slightly, “What are you...?”
“Hm? Something wrong?” the blonde asked.
“N-no, of course not!” the blue-eyed girl answered quickly, “It's just... I didn't really do that much...”
“Saki's always been like that, hasn't she?” Honami laughed.
“Looks like not much has changed...” Shiho confirmed.
***
After a couple months have passed, even Shiho herself stopped having so many remarks about their performance. They played at a steady pace and the mistakes were sporadic; perhaps it was time for their first concert?
“Should we take a break?” Honami asked.
“Good idea," Shiho confirmed, "Oh, Saki?”
“Yeah?” the pink-eyed girl turned toward her.
“You're starting to sound better with every other performance. Keep it up."
The blonde parted her lips in disbelief.
“Icchan, did you hear that? Shiho praised me!” the girl exclaimed.
“Well deserved." the black-haired girl smiled.
“It's true that we've made a lot of progress during this time," Honami said, "Maybe a little more and we'll be able to perform live somewhere?
“Oh yeah, great idea!” Saki replied with excitement.
“Hold on," Shiho interrupted her, "You know we have to be 100% sure we're ready for that.”
“We can think about it later," Ichika said, then sat down on the couch next to Saki, "Since we're here already, maybe we could discuss our new song?”
“Well, I could take a break from the ones we already practiced today...” Honami confessed.
“I have to go get my copy of those lyrics you wrote earlier..." Shiho said, getting up from her seat.
“Then I'll go get my guita-" the blue-eyed girl began.
It was at that moment when Ichika felt Saki putting her head on her shoulder. Looking at her, she noticed that her cheeks were slightly flushed; she herself probably looked the same.
“Are you tired, Saki?” she asked after a while.
“A little... " the girl replied, before covering her mouth with her hand and yawning.
Ichika smiled slightly, then turned her head to look at Honami.
“Could we maybe... Take a little longer before starting...?”
“I don't mind," Honami replied, "But depends on what Shiho will have to say...”
“Will an hour be enough?” the gray-haired girl asked, standing in the doorway, “Did you forget to get enough sleep again, Saki?” she sighed.
“Hey, it's not my fault! I was just excited for today, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Shiho waved her hand, “Alright, enjoy the break. We've already done a lot today, anyway.”
As the girl returned to her seat and began talking to Honami, Ichika felt her eyes closing on their own. With Saki still resting on her shoulder, she couldn't resist the urge to put her hand next to her's...
“Hey, Icchan...?” the girl's subtle voice echoed in her ears.
“Yeah...?”
“You know you don't have to hold my hand, right?”
The sudden words startled her.
“A-ah, well, I...” Ichika muttered under her breath, “I'm sorry, I'll just-”
The girl stopped for a moment when she felt Saki interlocking their fingers together.
***
After selecting one of the empty classrooms in the SEKAI, both of the girls immediately got to work.
“We'll start with proper posture. First, straighten up and place the guitar on your right thigh.” Ichika instructed.
“You mean, like this...?” Saki asked, trying her best to follow the instructions.
“Yeah, exactly!" the blue-eyed girl confirmed, "Now, rest your right hand on the body.”
“Geez, I feel like I'm about to drop it...” the blonde complained.
“As long as you hold it correctly, you have nothing to worry about.”
Saki's concerns may have been valid to some extent; after all, she wasn't really used to that kind of an instrument.
“Alright, got it. So... now what?” the girl asked.
Ichika walked closer.
“I could show you a few chord shapes," she began, "We'll focus on the simple ones first. What do you think?”
It quickly turned out that teaching Saki how to play the guitar was much more difficult than Ichika had previously assumed. Many times she had to tell her exactly what to do, and even manually put her fingers in the right places on the neck; however, no matter how tedious it was, Ichika enjoyed every other second they spent together. When Saki asked her about it, the girl agreed almost instantly, mostly because, even though she didn't want to show it, deep down she knew exactly that she herself wanted to teach her friend how to play the instrument. And especially now, when the girl had finally managed to play a few chords correctly for the first time, seeing her bright smile after all the hard work made it all just so worth it.
“This is harder than I thought!” the blonde laughed, “Never would've thought my fingers would hurt that much...”
“Sorry, I'm not the best teacher in the world...” Ichika explained.
“Come on, only you can find a way to convey such strong emotions through your playing! Oh, wait...” having said that, Saki put Ichika's guitar on a nearby stand, “I always find it hard to take my eyes off you when we're practicing! I mean, you always look so cool, it just makes me want to experience what it's like!” the girl smiled brightly.
“You're exaggerating, Saki...” Ichika turned away, trying to hide her blush.
“And the way you sing... I can always feel myself-” the blonde stopped, “Oh yeah! Hey, Icchan?”
“What is it...?”
“Maybe we could sing something together?” the pink-eyed girl suggested.
The idea completely threw Ichika off guard.
“Huh? I mean, sure! I mean, you know, if you really want to...” the girl started to get lost in her own words, “But... what exactly?”
“Hm...” the blonde wondered, “Well, probably something we both know!”
Ichika shoved her hands into the pockets of her hoodie. Something they both know...
“Well, actually...” she began, “I wasn't going to tell you at first, but a while ago when I came here, I heard you sing one song with Miku by yourself, and... I started learning it at one point...”
Saki smiled slightly.
“I think I know what you mean, “the blonde got up from her seat, then reached for the door, “I could swear there was a piano in one of the classrooms...” the girl turned and looked at Ichika, “So, shall we?”
***
Their first live performance ended with this very duet. They had all worked so hard for this event, and Ichika has finally seen for herself that her stress was completely unnecessary; their sounds remained in harmony, and they walked off stage to loud cheers and requests for an encore.
The preparations for the next group were already in progress. Honami was still in disbelief that their first concert had gone so well, while Shiho was quite unsuccessfully trying to hide her great satisfaction, and Saki on the other hand was running back and forth trying to let out her excitement.
Ichika didn't take her eyes off her.
When she got on stage with her, all her previous fears seemed to disappear.
When Saki spotted her in the corner of the room, she quickly walked over to her and grabbed her hand.
“Great job, Icchan!” the girl smiled brightly. There still remained some drops of sweat on her forehead, while her cheeks continued to be slightly flushed from the excitement..
Ichika returned the smile and looked into her eyes.
“I'm glad I could sing with you, Saki." she said after a while.
The sun had long since set when the girls left the building.
“We have to celebrate!” Honami said.
“I totally agree!” Saki added, “I know, maybe we could go out somewhere tomorrow?”
“I have work," Shiho cut off the subject.
“So, maybe after you finish your shift?” Ichika suggested.
“I'll see.”
“Come on, don't make us beg you!” Saki complained.
The gray-haired girl smiled slightly.
“I know quite a good restaurant," she said, "Tomorrow at 5pm, at the station?”
“Suits me." Ichika said.
“Great idea! Thanks, Shiho-chan!” the blonde hugged the girl.
“H-hey! What are you doing...?” the gray-haired girl exclaimed.
Honami laughed quietly.
“Come on Saki-chan, let her be!”
Ichika glanced around at her friends. She had waited so long for the day when they would all be together again. She wouldn't give it up for anything else in this world.
Since Honami and Shiho had to stop by at a shop, they had to split up somewhere along the way.
“See you tomorrow!” Ichika waved goodbye to both of the girls.
“Yeah, see you... So, what do you need to buy, Honami?”
The other two quickly set off.
“I'm glad we're meeting tomorrow," the black-haired girl said.
“Yeah, me too! After all, we really nailed that performance, didn't we?”
“Just remember not to overeat.”
“Hey! I'm not a kid anymore, you know? I can take care of myself!”
Ichika laughed.
“I know that, Saki. Don't worry." she assured her.
“Anyway... We really did great today, huh? Especially when-” the girl looked to her right, then stopped.
“Hm? Something wrong, Saki?” the black-haired girl asked.
“No, it's just... I suddenly remembered something." the pink-eyed girl smiled.
They were just passing by the playground; the same one where they saw the meteor shower so many years ago.
“I gotta tell you, I never thought we'd get this far with our band!" she continued.
“Honestly? Me too,” Ichika laughed, “But now, nothing makes me happier than all of this...”
Saki moved forward.
“I haven't been here in such a long time! Wait, has this slide always been here?” she asked, pointing to her left.
“I... don't think so...” Ichika replied, “Wait, Saki?”
The blonde was just starting to climb onto the monkey bars.
“And to think we once thought we were so high up!” she laughed, then turned towards Ichika, “Are you coming?”
The black-haired girl sighed.
“Alright, but only for a moment.” She then walked to a nearby bench and put away her guitar case. Moments later, she was already climbing up.
Saki moved to the left to make room for her, then looked up at the night sky.
“That really brings back memories...”
Ichika carefully sat down next to her.
“There's not much to see today...”
“So what? Were you hoping for another meteor shower?” the girl teased her.
“Maybe a little bit...”
They sat in silence for a while. The blue-eyed girl was alternatively looking at the night sky and at the girl next to her; it was strange that they were alone here at the moment. After all, Honami and Shiho had always been with them, and yet... she was secretly glad that there was no one there besides them.
“Hey, Icchan?” she suddenly heard.
The black-haired girl momentarily tore her gaze away and looked at her friend; their eyes met for a brief moment.
“Yeah?”
Saki looked away and focused her gaze on the sky.
“You know, Shiho and Honami always say that nothing has changed," she began, "However, when I look at you, I see that it's not true at all. I'm not talking about the obvious, like for example that your hair has grown longer, or something, but...”
The girl looked into Ichika's eyes again.
“I get the impression we're all slowly changing, bit by bit, as well as the environment we find ourselves in... And you?” she paused for a moment, “I feel like you've become more mature.”
Ichika parted her lips in surprise.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Well, you've always done things impulsively," Saki continued, "Oh, like when I couldn't get down from that tree! Remember?”
The blue-eyed girl snorted with laughter.
“Don't remind me... You couldn't get down, so I immediately climbed up to help you...”
“Yeah! And then we both got stuck there!”
Ichika smiled.
“It seems that I really didn't think much before acting...”
"And now?” Saki continued, “When I look at you and remember what we both went through...” The blonde looked away again. “I can only admire you and your dedication.”
“My... 'Dedication'?”
“When I came back to school...” the pink-eyed girl began, “You were always there, right next to me, whenever I needed that. And when I myself wanted to give up, you helped me out every time!” Saki turned her head towards Ichika, “You really are special, you know that, Icchan?”
The black-haired girl felt herself blushing. And yet, the guilt after all these years remained.
This time she was the one who looked away.
“And yet, I still lied to you about everything being fine, when you were stuck in the hospital and all you needed was the truth...”
Saki sighed.
“Are you still blaming yourself for that?” she asked.
The blue-eyed girl nodded.
“Icchan...” the blonde lifted her hand to place it on her shoulder, “I know you just wanted the best for me.”
The girl did not answer for a long time.
“I never meant to hurt you like that, but... I never thought about the consequences in the long run. And by the time I noticed it, it was already too late.”
“Look at me, Icchan.”
The black-haired girl, though reluctantly, finally turned her head towards her. Tears began to appear in the corners of her eyes. The blonde lifted her free hand and carefully placed it on her cheek.
“Don't apologize,” she began, “We were in junior high, we thought differently; what mattered most to me, was that you always came to visit, that you wanted to spend time with me, buy me flowers and then talk to me about their symbolism...” Saki smiled reassuringly, “All of it just shows what your true intensions were. And now? Since I've been back, you've always been a huge support to me. You've helped me adjust to the realities of school, you've shown me around the clubs, you've even gone wherever I dragged you to!” the girl laughed slightly, “I... feel like you know me best, Icchan. I know I can always count on you. Please, don't let the guilt of your mistakes from so many years ago weigh you down, because I believe that you're truly a wonderful person, and... I want you to believe that, too.”
Ichika slowly raised her free hand and placed it on Saki's.
“If only I could change that…”
“See? That's exactly what I was talking about.” the blonde interrupted her.
“Huh...?”
“That you've become more mature." the pink-eyed girl gave her a bright smile.
The black-haired girl laughed quietly.
“Maybe you're right..." she replied.
Saki slowly took her hand off Ichika's cheek and turned her gaze to the sky.
“I'm... really happy I can be here with you, Icchan.”
The blue-eyed girl lifted her sleeve to her face and wiped away her tears.
“Me too, Saki.” she replied after a moment.
They talked for a while longer. About the band, their mutual memories they both recalled, everything they went through together, and everything that caused them to be here right now.
Saki truly had the ability to brighten up even the greatest darkness. Ichika could not express in words how grateful she was to have someone like her.
Saki knew that she could always count on her friend, whenever she needed any support. After all, Ichika would always stay by her side, no matter what happened.
“Hey, Saki?” the blue-eyed girl suddenly spoke up.
“Yeah?”
“It's true that everything around us continues to become different, but ... I wouldn't want to change what we have right now. Do you... know what I mean...?”
Saki smiled.
“I think I do. Oh, I know!”
The girl stuck her little finger out in front of her.
“Icchan... Can we promise we'll always be together...?”
Ichika looked into her eyes. They were so full of hope... and so was she. The black-haired girl intertwined their fingers almost instantenously.
“I promise." she said, sending her a confident smile.
The blonde lit right up.
“Together forever, huh? Seems almost like a dream, doesn't it, Ichika?”
“Ichika-chan…?”
“Ichika?”
“Hey, Ichika!”
The black-haired girl flinched at the sound of Shiho's voice.
“Are you okay?” she asked, “You're awfully quiet...”
The blue-eyed girl looked around her. The same white walls, blue curtains, a bed in the corner, a dresser to its right, a vase with flowers in, standing on top of it...
Well, it's obvious, really.
After all, those events were a year ago.
Saki's in the hospital again.
And now, she was just sitting on the bed, staring at her with worry.
“Icchan...?” she asked.
“N-no, everything's fine! It's just... I suddenly remembered something...” she sighed.
***
Not long after starting her second year of high school, Saki's health began to deteriorate again. There were days when she didn't even have the strength to go to school, no matter how much she wished she could. General weakness, susceptibility to infections, fainting; that was just the beginning.
She soon noticed that her health was changing drastically. And although she didn't want to admit it to herself, she knew that there was a relapse. What was most troubling, however, was that the symptoms were stronger than ever before. And when she was no longer able to function normally, re-hospitalization was necessary.
Ichika visited her the same day. Somewhere along the way, she had stopped by at the same shop, where she used to buy flowers for Saki while she was still in elementary school, and later – in junior high.
The florist lady recognized her immediately. And it was hard for Ichika to admit that she stopped there for the same reason as before.
***
Months would pass and there was no sign of improvement whatsoever. The doctors continued to try to detect the cause and fight the disease, but even they soon turned out to be completely helpless. Saki would spend every day in the hospital, partaking in medical examinations and sometimes, surgeries.
“How are you feeling, Saki-chan?” Honami asked, sitting down by the bed.
“I'm still a bit weak, but I'm keeping it together!” the blonde replied, adjusting her position, “You'll see, I'll be out of here any moment now!”
“Just remember to get plenty of rest," Shiho began, "You need it.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get that,” the pink-eyed girl nodded, “Oh, I almost forgot!”
The girl turned towards Ichika.
“Icchan, will you tell me about them?” Saki looked at the vase of red flowers standing on the bedside table.
The blue-eyed girl was snapped out of her thoughts. She immediately smiled at the blonde, trying to give her some kind of encouragement.
“Recognize them?” she asked.
“Let me think... Oh, yeah! Those are... freesias, right?”
Ichika confirmed with a nod.
“We wanted to choose something that reminded us of you." she said.
“Ichika-chan had a really hard time picking anything out!” Honami laughed.
The black-haired girl looked down at the vase.
“Freesias symbolise friendship and trust.” Ichika explained.
“Aww, you didn't have to...” the blonde blushed and gave them a smile.
“We'll be waiting for your return, Saki," Shiho said, smiling reassuringly, "We'll make it up to you, I swear.”
“You don't have to, really,” the pink-eyed girl began, “What matters most is that you're all here with me...”
Ichika still couldn't get over this turn of events. After all, Saki had only just returned to school, how did it come to this that she now had to sit in the hospital again?
The girl knew that Saki was trying to hide her suffering, so when Shiho and Honami left the room, she stayed for a while longer.
“Aren't you coming with them, Icchan?”
“Saki," the blue-eyed girl began, "I know how hard this must be, so please, if you ever need anything-”
The girl did not finish that sentence.
“Hey, don't worry about me, okay?” the blonde reassured her, “You'll see, soon everything will be back to normal!”
Ichika continued to remember the day Saki had to be hospitalized for the first time. It was the beginning of middle school. The two of them hadn't said anything to each other that day; the black-haired girl had only held her friend's hand and listened to her crying, mixed with her own. And now, the vision of the dark, cold memory made her shiver. She never wanted to see Saki suffer again; and for that, she was willing to do anything.
But in the end, what could she actually do?
She was as helpless as the doctors trying to help her friend.
***
Six months have passed since Saki had returned to the hospital, and each day was starting to get longer and longer, though to her, they all looked the same anyway; the same meals, the daily medical exams, the increasingly frequent surgeries.
The classroom was always so empty. Even though Ichika knew she had phone contact with her friend and that they saw each other about every week, it was hard for her to get used to the agonizing silence that oppressed her every day.
The desk behind her stayed empty, and there was no one who would immediately start urging her to go eat lunch together on the school rooftop, or to go find Shiho and Honami in their classrooms and hang out with them.
Ichika noticed that she was finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate in class. How many times had her teachers pointed out to her that she kept looking out the window instead of focusing on her studies...
No matter how much she wanted to believe that things would get better, Saki's medical exam results made that impossible.
When they went to visit her that day, the girl was unable to even make more sudden movements, because it would always result in a sharp pain in her chest. She was just starting to recover from her recent surgery, but the question remained; were they even doing anything?
And yet, Saki continued to smile. Almost as if she was the one who needed to lift their spirits, and not the other way around.
“So, the sports festival was a success?” she asked.
Ichika nodded.
“Apparently they wanted to keep the level after last year...” the black-haired girl smiled.
“That festival...” the blonde wondered, ”I remember being on the preparation committee! Ugh, it was so much work...” the girl sighed.
“But all of that paid off in the end," Shiho added, "If I'm being honest, I don't think anything could beat the last year's event.”
Saki wanted to adjust herself on the bed and again, she did so too abruptly. When the blonde gasped with pain, each of the girls momentarily pulled themselves forward to help her.
“Saki, are you alright?!” Ichika asked, putting her hand on her arm, “Do you need anything? Maybe we could...”
“N-no, I'm okay... I'm okay,” the girl replied, “I just... need to lay down for a bit...”
The pink-eyed girl carefully shifted her position. Ichika did not let go of her hand.
“Are you sure, Saki-chan?” Honami asked.
“Yeah, it's all because I'm still recovering from the surgery... The doctors just told me to avoid sudden movements...”
Shiho crossed her arms and drove her gaze to the floor.
“Speaking of which... Are there any news...?”
Saki looked out the window.
“They're trying to manage its development, but... it's costing me everything I got.”
Ichika squeezed her hand. Saki momentarily changed her tone of voice.
“B-but hey! I can't sit here forever, can I?” the girl laughed awkwardly.
The general mood shifted a bit.
“Yeah, that's right!” Honami reassured her, “You've already managed to leave once, so you'll just have to hold on a little while longer!
The blonde turned and looked at Ichika. The black-haired girl realized that she couldn't see the hope in her eyes anymore.
“Saki...” she began, “You're the strongest person I know. I'm sure you can do it.”
***
This time, Ichika walked down the corridor alone, heading to the same room as always.
Saki had been in the hospital for over a year now.
Holding a bouquet in her left hand, Ichika stood in front of the door, which a nurse opened for her a moment later.
Her friend was lying in the hospital bed, as usual. She noticed her immediately, standing in the doorway, although she did not have the strength to get up. And yet, as usual, she greeted her with a smile.
“Hey, Icchan! Hm, alone today?”
The black-haired girl closed the door behind her and walked over to her bed, sitting down in the chair next to it.
“Honami left yesterday and Shiho has family matters," she explained, "How are you feeling today?”
Saki sighed.
“Could have been better.”
Ichika only nodded her head.
Ever since Saki had returned here, with every other visit, the blue-eyed girl noticed how her friend kept languishing in front of her very eyes. Devastated by the disease, weakened from the daily examinations and surgeries, completely dependent on the nurses due to her inability to perform even the simplest of tasks...
The sight broke her heart.
The disease was getting worse with every passing day and the constant surgeries were only making her condition deteriorate. Even Saki stopped believing that they were doing anything. And Ichika, after each visit, would just go home and cry into her pillow. She tried to visit her as often as she could, but the growing responsibilities of school prevented her from doing so.
And that filled her with a crushing sense of guilt.
Saki looked at the flowers Ichika had brought with her.
“Could you put them in a vase? I have it ready here.”
“Yeah, sure."
“So, what did you bring today?” the pink-eyed girl smiled.
Ichika returned to her seat.
“They're alstroemeria." she explained, "They symbolize friendship and devotion.”
Saki turned her head toward the vase again.
“They're beautiful..." the girl lit up.
For a brief moment, Ichika felt a smile return to her face.
“Oh, yeah!” Saki suddenly spoke up, then carefully moved to the left, making room for Ichika next to her, “Come on, don't just sit on that chair!”
The black-haired girl rose up and sat down next to her friend. Saki adjusted her position one last time, then put her head on her friend's shoulder.
“It's good that you're here, Icchan..." she said quietly.
“You know I'll always be, right...?”
Saki slowly closed her eyes.
“I do. And thank you for that.”
They sat in silence for a while, and in that particular moment they could imagine that they weren't in the hospital; that Saki has returned, and they were just sitting on the couch, relaxing after succesful practice.
They really wanted for those times to return.
“Hey, Icchan?” Saki suddenly asked.
“What is it?”
“Did you bring your headphones with you? Maybe we could listen to some music together? You know, like we used to...”
Ichika immediately began searching through the pocket of her hoodie. After finding her headphones, she plugged them into her phone and handed one of them to Saki.
“I have this one playlist, give me a second...”
Music started echoing in their ears. This time, it was Ichika who closed her eyes.
The next few minutes passed in peace, interrupted only by Saki's words, spoken when one particular song began.
“I didn't know you had this one saved!”
“You know, I figured I'd add it after we sang it together.”
The blonde smiled.
“So... you still remember?”
“Of course I do! I mean-”
Ichika's words were interrupted by Saki's quiet singing. The part that had been previously assigned to her had just begun, and when it came to the chorus, Ichika joined in herself. They didn't make a single mistake.
So much time had passed, and yet both of them continued to remember the lyrics perfectly.
Ichika glanced at the girl beside her. Though she was quite exhausted, she hadn't seen her smile like that in a long time; however, she noticed immediately that something was weighing on her heart.
“Hey, Saki...?”
The blonde turned toward her.
“Did... something happen?” the black-haired girl continued.
The pink-eyed girl looked away and smiled weakly. She then looked out the window, staring at the crowded street.
“You know, Icchan... Thank you for everything. You're... really someone special to me.”
“Saki…?”
The blonde was silent for a long time. And when she finally gathered the courage to speak up, she was unable to look at Ichika.
“I got the diagnosis.”
The black-haired girl felt she had her heart in her throat at those words.
“It's... gotten worse," she continued, "Worse than it's ever been, in fact. It keeps spreading, and- ”
Tears began to run down her cheeks. The blonde hid her face in her hands.
Ichika embraced her and began to sob into her shoulder.
***
Leaning against the wall, Shiho wandered her eyes around the room, every now and then stuffing her hands in her pockets.
She couldn't gather herself to look at Saki in the state she was in.
“We... passed Tsukasa in the hallway.” Honami said, attempting to break the silence.
Saki turned towards her.
“He stopped by for a moment before you guys came in...” the girl replied.
Once again that day, there was an unbearable silence. Even someone as optimistic as Tsukasa was unable to hide his worries any longer. Nor could anyone else in the room.
Saki had not left the hospital for over a year now. At this point, she actually didn't even have the strength to move from her bed and had to be assisted by the nurses; nothing could stop the disease from progressing.
The girl was well aware of this. Every day she grew weaker and weaker, and her body had more and more difficulty in defending itself.
Ichika couldn't push those thoughts away. Ever since Saki came back to the hospital, there wouldn't be a single day where she wouldn't think about her, about what was before, and what is at this moment; about what had led to the situation they were both in now.
Eventually, the news also reached the rest of the girls in their class, who began to visit Saki even more often than before, though even that was slowly becoming impossible; the blonde no longer had the strength, or time to receive any visitors. She didn't even have time to rest because of the constant treatments she had to be subjected to.
Lately, during her visits, no one has been able to get a single word out. After all, it would always end the same way, the room being flooded with tears.
Ichika couldn't sleep at night. The only thing she was able to focus on, was the overwhelming fear from which she was unable to drive herself away. At the same time, she wanted to both be alone, and to have someone with her, who would listen to everything that was bothering her.
And it always came back to the same thing.
"I'm afraid."
Ichika knew exactly what she was so terrified of, and yet she couldn't admit it to herself.
She didn't want to accept it.
But since even Saki had given up, was there any point in believing in anything, anyway?
Saki, on the other hand, tried to use the last of her remaining strength to talk to her friends and family. Any type of contact with her loved ones was able to fill her with some sort of faint strength, allowing her to get through the next day.
She, too, could not sleep at night. She too spent hours crying into her own pillow, only to wake up later in the morning even more exhausted than before. She too was terrified, no matter how hard she tried to hide it from her family. For the first time in her entire life, she felt truly alone, though she knew exactly how many people she had by her side.
Maybe that loneliness has led her to get her phone from her bedside table in the middle of the night and call a certain person.
***
Ichika tried for a long time to fall asleep that night.
She rolled over left and right, trying to find a comfortable position on the mattress. She would repeatedly get out of bed to open, and then close the window in her room, then walk over to her closet to get a blanket, only to put it away moments later.
She spent hours aimlessly browsing social media on her phone, trying to distract herself from the thoughts haunting her.
At one moment, an incoming call appeared on her screen, which the girl, though unprepared, answered right away. She immediately heard a gasp of shock coming from the other side, as if whoever she was speaking to couldn't believe themselves that someone had answered their call.
It was already past 3 A.M., but Ichika spoke up right away, quiet enough not to wake her parents, but loud enough for the person on the other side to hear her.
“Saki...? Why are you calling at this hour, did something happen?”
The black-haired girl heard her friend breathe a sigh of relief.
“Icchan, I... didn't think you'd pick up... Why are you awake, anyway?” the blonde immediately changed the subject.
The blue-eyed girl adjusted her position in her bed.
“I could ask you the same thing, you know? Are you feeling alright? If you need anything, maybe-” her words got interrupted.
“I'm fine, I just... I wanted to hear your voice. I'm... sorry if I woke you up... I-I can hang up if you want to...!” she added after a while.
“N-no, wait!” Ichika replied almost instantly, “I... couldn't sleep anyway.”
The voice on the other side laughed quietly.
“Yeah, me too.”
Ichika pulled the phone away from her ear, wondering what she should answer. Since Saki had called her at this hour, it must've meant that it was important.
“So... How are you feeling?” she suddenly heard, “Do you have a lot of work with school, and all?”
Saki was desperately trying to maintain some kind of a conversation.
“It's... quite hard,” Ichika answered truthfully, “Especially without you around...” she added after a while.
The black-haired girl felt her tears gathering again. She tried to regulate her breathing, and closed her eyes, not wanting to let the tears flow.
“Hey, Icchan...?” Saki suddenly spoke up.
“Yeah...?”
The blonde took a deep breath.
“Do you... remember our conversation we had on the playground? You know, the one after our first live show?”
“Huh?” the black-haired girl was surprised at this question, “I mean, of course I do! How could I forget...?”
Again, there was silence.
“Well... You know I have a surgery tomorrow... Right...?”
“Yeah, I do...”
Saki sighed.
“And... you're probably aware of what the doctors are saying... That...” the girl's voice trembled, “I might not...”
Ichika abruptly rose from her seat.
“S-Saki! You know very well that's not going to happen, right? Y-you'll see, everything will work out, and...! And...”
The girl did not finish this sentence, because at that exact moment she felt her breathing become strained. When tears started running down her cheeks, she quickly put her hand on her mouth, trying to mask it.
After a moment, she heard a sob on the other side, too. When the sound reached her ears, she decided there was no longer any point in hiding what she was feeling.
And she knew exactly, what she was feeling. Fear. A monstrous fear that she couldn't control, which was only becoming more and more overwhelming with every other diagnosis.
Both girls let their tears flow.
Ichika closed her eyes.
Saki raised her sleeve to her face.
If they could be in each other's embrace right now, maybe it would ease the pain they were feeling.
They had lost track of time. They did not know how many minutes had passed since they had both fallen silent and finally let off their emotions.
However, there were still some things yet to say.
“Icchan...?” the pink-eyed girl muttered after a while.
“What is it, Saki...?”
“The promise we made that day...”
The girl hesitated.
“Do you still believe that...?”
Ichika sat on the edge of her bed and wiped away the last tear with her free hand. Before her eyes, she saw the playground, where the two of them had stopped after their first performance. And next to her - Saki. Smiling broadly, just as she always did. That day, the two shared the same desire to stay by each other's side, no matter what was happening.
“I know I want to,” she replied, "And I also know that neither of us is the type of person who would break a promise." she added after a moment, finally smiling slightly.
The girl heard laughter on the other side.
“Yeah, you're right...”
The blonde fell silent again. She knew exactly what she wanted to tell her friend, and when she finally gained the courage to speak up, four simple words escaped her mouth.
“I love you, Icchan.”
The words were practically inaudible, but nonetheless, Ichika caught every single one of them. And she was well aware what she wanted to answer.
“I love you too, Saki...”
For the first time, the two girls could allow themselves a moment of peace.
“Icchan... Take care of yourself,” the blonde added after a while, “Please...”
“I will,” Ichika replied, “I promise you I will. Get some rest before tomorrow, okay? I'll see you when it's all over...”
The blue-eyed girl felt Saki's tone calm down a bit.
“Yeah, of course... Goodnight, Icchan...”
***
The blue-eyed girl cautiously opened the door to her classroom. They were nearing the end of their last year in high school. The previous years had been filled with so many emotions that it was hard to believe it was all slowly coming to an end. It's true that so many things around them continued to change; something particularly eye-catching has appeared in the classroom, now.
Ichika Hoshino could not fully describe what she felt when she saw the flowers on the desk behind her own for the first time; even though she was the one who chose them.
Blue forget-me-nots stood gracefully in a vase, bathing in the glow of the afternoon sun. The girl paused for a moment, staring at the empty space. The flowers were neat, kept in good shape; symbolizing memories, attachment and true love, they seemed to be an appropriate choice.
Saki always loved listening to Ichika explaining the symbolism of various flowers.
The classroom became quiet and dull. Lessons were beginning to blend into one, and the day itself was falling into disarray by early evening. The black-haired girl started taking a circuitous route home, trying to avoid places that reminded her of Saki; whether it was the café they always dropped by after class, or the shopping mall they passed on their way back from school, or the playground they stopped at, that particular evening.
At first, the girl actually saw no point in doing anything. Nothing was the same anymore, and the sound she was trying to get her guitar to make was always devoid of any emotion.
Despite everything, Ichika knew she was not alone. Shiho and Honami, her close friends, continued to be there, ready to support each other at any time. If it wasn't for them, she probably never would've been able to get out of the state she was in. It certainly was hard for them all, trying to live on in that situation, but staying in loneliness was even harder.
At some point, things started to return to normal. It was a long process, but one day Ichika noticed that she might even have enough strength to get out of bed and head to school.
All three of them started to take their usual route home again. One certain night, the sky was exceptionally beautiful. Walking home together, they all noticed how clearly they could see the stars.
Ichika couldn't explain it, but she could swear that one of them seemed to shine particularly bright.