Archive of Our Own

It was late at night. Jean was still on her desk, writing the last of many papers in which she was describing the events of that day. With the last word finally putted in there, she let a sighted out and the pen felt from her hands. The report was done, and everything ended, but the events were on a loop in her mind. She lied down on the chair, the right arm hiding both her face and her tears. It was frustrating. There were many losses either civils and knights, and she could do nothing, or so she thought.

The report of the fight arrived late during the lunchtime. Jean wasn’t at her office by that time, as she had an appointment with a businessman, and because of that, the news arrived at her ears too later. By that time, the Mages of the Abysm had attacked merchants and were surrounding another number of carriages with civils on them. And it took Jean a little long to arrive to the affected place, as nobody could tell exactly where it was.

“If I were faster…” Jean whispered. “They wouldn’t be…”

She slowly down her body, put both arms crossed on the desk and hide the face between them. It’s not like something like that never happened before, but never with so many loses. The enemies were stronger. Maybe the Fatuis were involved after all.

“If I had done the proper investigations…” She hit the table to let some frustration away, but the pain resonate between all her wounds.

Someone knocked the door twice. Jean could hear it. Usually, she would open immediately but she was feeling too bad to hurry. By the time she stood, the other person had entered the room. And only one person would enter without permission.

“Oh, dear, you look so bad.” The usual playful tone that Lisa had was missing. She was serious, and that only meant Jean was even worse than she thought. “You can finish tomorrow whatever you’re doing, y’know.”

“I finished just now.” Jean replied.

“Your wounds won’t heal if you keep overdoing. Don’t force me to give you some sleeping pills.”

Jean was about to protest but could read in Lisa’s eyes that she would do it even against the Grand Master’s will. Because of that, she just sighted and walked to the witch.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to rest now.”

Jean passed by Lisa’s side without stopping but could not hide from her the red eyes and some tears. Lisa said nothing about that.

“I do not trust you.” Said, before taking a step after Jean. “I’m coming.”

“¡…!” Jean’s body tensed. “It’s not necessary. I’ll sleep.”

But the witch just denied with her head. They’d known each other for a long time and Lisa was aware that Jean used to spend all night thinking on what could be done better. Lisa just yawned and take the other girl’s hand.

“I’m tired, don’t delay my bedtime any longer.”

All the way to the room was Jean following Lisa. No words exchanged. No looks crossed. It took not much time for the girls to arrive and yet being Jean’s place, it was Lisa the one opening the door.

“It smells good…” Whispered Jean.

“It does, doesn’t it? I bought you some dinner. You used to get angry if the smell remains in the office, so I left it here. You haven’t eaten, have you?” Jean’s stomach answered by itself, letting the blonde girl with red cheeks. “Fufu, I knew it.”

“I had too much work to…”

“No excuses. Here, your piece of pizza.” Jean’s eyes opened widely. She was pretty sure that was something she hadn’t explained to anyone. Maybe it was just a coincidence. But the dandelion knight knew it too well: Lisa did nothing by coincidence. And the witch’s simile had the answer. “C’mon, darling, it will get cold.”

The knight took the piece and taste it. She remembered that food for being delicious but, not knowing exactly why, that pizza was even better, even though it had lost almost all warm.

“You took a lot of trouble because of me.” Jean whispered after the first bite.

Lisa was caught off guard and raised her eyes to found Jean’s. She didn’t answer immediately, took her some time to speak.

“I want a reward. It was sooo tiring.” Jean laughed out loud. And that took Lisa even more unaware. “You should laugh a little more. Whatever, let’s finish the pizza and sleep.”

Jean barely heard the first part and so nodded.

After dinner, Lisa had to stop Jean for wanting to clean, pay, and go back to work. It took Lisa about fifteen minutes to convince the knight to go rest.

“Ugh… now it hurts…” Jean looked down to her own stomach. It was surrounded by bandages to hide one of the worse wounds she had. The right side had a little spot painted with red.

“You didn’t let me any other choice.”

“There was no need to hit me on my wounds!”

“Were you going to stay quiet otherwise? You’re still bleeding. I’m not letting you go anywhere but your bed.”

Jean had no other choice but to obey. To be honest, it was quite ago the last time she slept on her bed, she usually spent the night at her office. It was warm, and the fatigue suddenly felt on her, the eyes attempting to close.

“What are you going to do?” She turned to face Lisa. The witch was standing in one side, looking to her with her arms crossed. “You won’t stay there all night, will you?”

“Oh, darling ~ don’t worry for me, I’ll be here just until you fall asleep. Then I’ll leave.”

Jean seemed to agree because she closed her eyes. Lisa kept watching the knight for a while until she realizes the girl felt asleep. But she had no intention to leave; Lisa approached the knight and took her hand before sitting on the ground.

“Tomorrow I’ll take the day off.” The witch mumbled and tried to sleep too.

*** ** * ** ***

The floor was full of blood. One merchant was screaming, and some knights were on the ground, injured. She was standing in the middle, her sword dyed with red. Everyone was looking at her with fear. It took her some time to understand she was the one who attack them.

The sword slide from her hands when the knight saw her sister. She could not breath, the air was both avoiding her and leaving her body. Not even tears felt.

“It wasn’t me… I-I did what I could… I wanted to save you… all of you…” Her heart hurt. She covered her ears and took a step behind. “P-please… believe me—”

*** ** * ** ***

“—Lisa.”

The witch moved slightly. She was sleeping but waken up when Jean started moving. She knew that would happen, as they shared many nights like that. Jean used to have nightmares when something bad happened and Lisa had decided to stay by her side every painful night.

“You did nothing wrong, darling.” Lisa raised her hand to pat the knight’s head. “You did your best.” Added, while playing with the blonde’s hair. “You won.”

Jean’s face showed peace little by little.

Few minutes later, Jean opened her eyes. She didn’t know exactly the hour but was still dark outside. She moved carefully but her wounds started hurting suddenly and she could not stand up. Everything hurts but her heart. The pain had vanished. Instead, a warmer feeling fulfilled it.

Jean looked to one side. The side were her hand felt different. Lisa was holding It with her both hands. With the free one, she shacked the witch’s shoulder. At first it was fun, but after a few minutes, the knight couldn’t believe how hard was to wake Lisa up.

“Hey, Lisa.”

Suddenly, the girl opened her eyes and looked around, confused.

“What time is it? It’s too early, I want to sleep a little mo… oh.” Lisa could not avoid a smile when seeing the knight. “Jean, darling ~. Do you need something?”

“You said you would go home.”

Lisa had said so all the time something bad happened to Jean, but none of them had gone until the very first hour of the morning. She just avoided being discovered.

“But I couldn’t go after you started calling my name in dreams. It was so sweet ~.”

Jean’s cheeks went red then rolled and gave her back to the witch. She was embarrassed but was not the reason why she had moved to one side.

“’H-however… If you’re going to stay, sleep here.”

“Oh my ~ Are you offering me to share bed with you?”

“Yes. If you feel uncomfortable, I’ll be the one sleeping on the floor.” Jean replied, in a most serious tone than expected. Lisa felt somewhat disappointed.

“No way.” Lisa lied down on the empty slot, facing the knight. They said nothing, Jean was too tired and felt asleep immediately. Lisa was tired too but kept awake a little longer.

Jean woke up late that morning. For the first time in her life, when she opened her eyes, the sun was on the top of the sky. Lisa was still sleeping by her side. Then, she heard the knocks again. Jean jumped from her bed, but her body hurt as soon as she stood up.

The men waiting in front of the door was a Favonius knight. His eyes showed how worry he, and maybe everyone, was. And his eyes turned into relieve when Jean appeared.

“A-ah, Master Jean, sorry for interrupting, we were worried for you, your wounds were severe and…”

“You don’t have to worry. It’s my fault for oversleeping.” The man’s look was somewhat strange, not in a bad way nor good. Jean soon realized she was wearing her sleeping clothes still. “Tell everyone I’ll be there in a few minutes.” And slammed the door.

“Pfft—” That laugh came from behind her. Lisa was there, yawning. “Good morning, darling ~.”

“That was embarrassing…” Jean mumbled. She took some seconds to recover and turned to Lisa. “Good morning, did you sleep well?”

“More than ever. Want a good morning kiss ~?”

“Don’t make fun of me.” The knight protested, then passing by the other’s side. “I’ll dress and leave, you have job to do too, don’t you?”

“How rude.” Lisa whispered, hiding a smile. “I have some affairs to attend, but my substitute will be covering me all day, so I’ll be free by lunchtime ~.”

“Why did you ask the full day off, then?”

“Jean, not everyone is like you, normal people need to rest sometimes.”

“Any reason is good for you to take a day off.”

Lisa laughed at the inquisitive look from Jean. She was right and had no reply to it. She had been looking to the knight while she changed her clothes. The witch paid extra attention to the bandages.

“I’ll leave now. Do you want to come with me?” But Jean got no answer. Lisa was standing in a corner, arms crossed. “Lisa?”

“You should go to the nursery first.”

She got no answer. They both keep looking each other for a while. Then Jean answered.

“Thanks for worrying. I’ll go there as soon as I can.” Lisa knew that wasn’t a lie, but at the same time it was. “Would you join me during teatime?”

“Oh, dear ~ you don’t have to ask for that. I’ll be there as always.”

And they both leave.

Time passed by so fast that Jean didn’t notice it, but the pain did not stop. It was almost afternoon when she found a hole in her schedule. She had a few free minutes before the appointment with Lisa and decided to go to the nursery. They changed the bandages and putted some extra gauzes on the wound in her abdomen.

“I know you’re a busy woman, but try to not overdo it, your wounds are still a bit opened and could be infected easily. Can I recommend you come here tomorrow? I won’t take you much time, I want to keep an eye on that wound.”

Jean wanted to turn down the offer, but Lisa would yell at her and otherwise, she needed to recover as fast as possible. Because of that, she nodded.

“I’ll be here tomorrow.”

Lisa arrived at the place where they usually met a few minutes before. Jean was never late, but she didn’t use to be there sooner either. She started preparing some water. As she thought, the knight arrived at the hour they agreed.

“I’ve went to the nursery.”

“Oh.” Lisa was genuinely surprised. She served a cup of tea to Jean and sat on the chair in front of the knight. “Well done, darling ~. How have you been?”

“I’ve spent many time in the office, there were so many papers on my desk… At one point I started thinking they were breeding.” Jean sighted. Papers were a part of her job she didn’t like. She preferred to go outside and help Mondstadt citizens. “I just went outside twice, to the nursery and to visit the injured knights. They seemed happy to see me.”

“Everyone loves you, Jean. Not as much as me, but they do.” Jean smiled and Lisa sighted. “You’re blaming yourself by yesterday, aren’t you?” Jean’s smile vanished and tensed all her body. “I knew. No one does but you.”

They kept in silence for a while. Lisa’s cup of tea was emptying little by little while Jean’s remained full. The witch knew it was a sensitive topic, but a necessary one. After a while, she decided to break the silence.

“You gave your best. You’re always giving your best. No one takes it seriously, not as you do.”

“I know, but…” Jean closed her hands to fits.

“Here.” Lisa left a book on the table, on the left side of the cup. “Take the afternoon off and rest. Read that book. Recover yourself.”

“I can’t do that, I have to…”

“I’ll do whatever you have to.”

“Huh?” Jean’s eyes opened widely. Everyone knew how Lisa hated doing whatever means extra work and because of that, the knight was confused.

“I’ll do whatever you have to.” The witch repeated and then smiled. “Of course, you’ll have to pay for it. I’m not taking that effort for free.”

Unable to reply, Jean could do nothing but agree.

Once at home, Jean had nothing else to do but read the book. She hadn’t paid attention to it before, but it was a romantic novel. Her heart started beating faster and her cheeks turned into an intense red. Only Lisa would give her something like that.

“And because of that I love her.” Jean thought.

The book was interesting but predictable. Jean loved that kind of stories because they let her dream. She wanted that, after all. She liked her duties and being a knight and had no intentions to change that but, deep inside, she would like to find love.

Few pages later, a random chat between the main characters wake some memories up. When the fictional characters kissed, the boy said “Here, your good morning kiss!” and Lisa came to her mind. At first, what she remembered were Lisa’s question, offering a good morning kiss; but little later her mind flew away and imagined Lisa really kissing her. The knight felt so embarrassed that left the book on the table and tried to distract her mind a little.

Time passed by, but for Jean it felt like an eternity. Having nothing to do was great but not for her. However, she had admitted it helped a lot with her wounds, resting helped them not to hurt that much. She went to sleep earlier tant usual, just to make sure she would wake up early in the morning. Jean was already on bed when she remembered about Lisa.

“She said she would do every task I had to do but…” Lisa never said how. “I hope no one has been electrocuted.”

Jean sighted. She felt the next day was going to be even harder.

“But I’ll worry about that tomorrow.”

*** ** * ** ***

She looked around. Someone was there but could not find them. She was in danger. At least, there was no one to care about, so she could fight without worrying.

She suddenly found herself running away. It was raining and some mages were after here. Her wounds hurt. Even more, she noticed they were opened. They were bleeding. Maybe because of that she was running away but she was failing to her duties by doing so. She stopped to face the enemies, but her sword wasn’t there.

“Ugh…”

A purple lightning travelled across the place. The enemies were defeated. The witch appeared from nowhere and walked to the knight.

“Wh—“

*** ** * ** ***

That dream left Jean with her heart beating fast. It was strange, as something like that had never happened. Moreover, she could not understand why Lisa was in her dream. She waked up with a strange feeling on her chest, and soon realize she was missing Lisa on her side, even when they only slept together one time. But that feeling, which seemed like happiness, was soon replaced by the pain left by the events from two days ago. She couldn’t forgive herself, and feeling any other emotion made her felt guilty. She wasn’t allowed to be distracted.

She looked through the window, the sun was about to rise. Her bandages kept their white color and Jean let a relief sight out.

Once dressed, Jean left her place to go on a walk before locking herself in the office. Mondstadt was a calm city in the morning before the stores opened and most of the citizens woke up. Jean like that moment, where she could feel some freedom. She loved her life and was doing what she enjoyed the most, but sometimes she missed something.

Almost no one walking on the streets, and she only found a man coming from the Angel’s Share. He was drunk and could barely stand up, but he would not bother anyone, and he was conscious enough to arrive home by himself, so Jean just passed by.

She arrived at the Cathedral without noticing. It was a place she usually avoided but gave her peace anyway. Maybe she could ask how Barbara was doing. She was injured too during the attack. As she knew later, the Abyss Order attacked first some merchants that were going to Mondstadt to send new products. But their real goal was the Cathedral’s carriage. It left the city after lunchtime and had a twenty-minute journey. Both groups were crossing the road at the same time but in opposite directions. Jean pressed her lips. She thought that if she had supervised a little more the road the day before, none had happened.

“Master Jean?”

Barbara appeared behind the knight. They still felt quite uncomfortable talking to each other, even when their relationship got a lot better. Jean drew a little smile.

“Good morning. It’s still early, do you have something to do?”

The girl denied with her head and took some time to answer.

“I just wanted some fresh air.”

They fell in silence again and looked away from the other.

“And how are you—?” They both said at the same time. Even stopped at the same time. Their cheeks became red, but the uncomfortable air changed when they laughed.

“I’m fine. My wounds seem better today. How about you?”

“I only had some scratches, nothing to worry about. Thanks for… coming to save us…”

“¿Huh?” Jean was confused as she could only think that was her fault. “I should came faster.” She whispered, looking down to the floor. Barbara noticed that but didn’t knew what to do or say. “But you’re fine, I’m happy for that.”

Barbara looked away, clearly blushed, and let a little laugh out.

“Oh, by the way, Master Jean… We have some electrocuted citizens here… again.”

Back to the Headquarter Jean crossed paths with Diluc. It wasn’t usual to see him so early, or maybe so late, as he was just closing the taberna.

“Good morning, Master Diluc.” The knight said with a smile on her face. Diluc stopped walking and looked back to her.

“You look good.” Jean was caught off guard and could not answer. “Are you taking care of yourself? You were severally injured the other day.”

“I’m feeling better today, and I’m not allowed to overdo, I have someone looking after me.” The girl sighted and looked to the Cathedral for a while. “Maybe too much.”

Diluc knew exactly what Jean was talking about. He had no intention of defending Lisa for some of her actions but was glad she cared about Jean that much.

“You’re in the greatest hands so I won’t worry.” The man said, as serious as he was. “But I swear you, if any of your wounds get worse because of you overdoing it, I’ll personally block your office door.”

“What?” If the same words were to be said by anyone else, Jean would laugh, but being Diluc the one’s saying them was frightening. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I want the best for Mondstadt. And you’re the best for Mondstadt.”

Giving Jean no chance to reply, Diluc got back on track and disappeared from the knight’s vision range.

The Dandelion Knight’s duties grew minute by minute. She was used to that, but her physical condition didn’t let her to concentrate how she would like. Because of that, when a citizen knocked her door, she could barely put a smile on her face.

“I’ll come to help you as soon as I finished my current work, I swear.” Jean said before dismissing her companion. Then she leaned back against the door and sighted. Then someone else knocked the door. Jean forced herself to stand up and smile. “Hell— Ah, It’s you.” She felt relieved, even thought she would not admit it.

“What a cold greeting, my dear ~” Lisa joked.

“Sorry, I’m feeling quite off today. I wanted to see you…” Jean mumbled. She sudden realize what has just been told, and Lisa’s eyes opened in surprise. “B-because Barbara told me you electrocuted some citizens yesterday. Any reasonable explanation?”

“Ow… I thought you missed me.” The witch laughed and entered the room, giving back to Jean.

“Don’t evade the topic.” The knight protests.

“They deserve it.” Lisa’s voice became heavier. She was serious about that. “And I won’t say anything else about that.”

Lisa even seemed mad. Jean decided not to talk about that anymore. She approached the witch, who remained giving back to her, and put her head on Lisa’s shoulder.

“Can I ask you for help once more?”

“Your debts are growing ~.”

The day was calmer since Jean received Lisa’s help. The librarian was quite lazy in most circumstances, but the last two days she has been working hard and Jean appreciate it. Because of that, she offered the witch to have dinner with her.

“… and that’s how the traveler and I had to defeat an Abyss Mage to get a book back. And that’s not the worst thing I had to do, once I…” Lisa suddenly saw the book she gave Jean the day before. “Oh, you read it.”

“I started it.” Jean let a cup of tea on Lisa’s side and sat in front of her. “I’m not used to read that kind of books.”

“Oh?” Lisa smirk. “I though you took some books like that before.”

“…” Jean tensed and took a sip just to hide her surprise. “M-maybe once, I was curious, that’s all.”

“Fufu ~” Lisa loved teasing the knight. “If you say so. Are you enjoying it?”

Jean nodded. Remembering the book brought her back some thought from the previous day and, being there with the main character of them didn’t help.

“I found them boring.” The witch said out of sudden. She was looking to nowhere, so could not see how Jean’s face turned into disappointment. “You know, it’s better to experience them rather than just read.”

“To experience them…?” Jean repeated, in a lower tone, not really wishing to be heard but to herself. Indeed, she wanted to feel what was written in the books. “Have you ever felt something like that?”

“Mhm…” Lisa took some time to answer, looking through the window, with a little smile. “Once I hang out with someone, but we weren’t in love, we were just playing, I guess. It was fun, I’m not regretting that. If I was to answer about a deepest love…” Then her eyes found Jean’s. “Books make it easier than it really is.”

“I see…” Jean felt nervous for unknown reason and looked her empty cup.

“What about you?”

“I…” Jean sighted. Deep inside, she didn’t want to answer. “I’m only allowed to read that on books.”

The answer was the one expected. Lisa felt guilty for getting the topic, but at the same time she wanted to give Jean the chance to accomplish her desire.

“You’re responsible, hard-working, and kind.” The witch said, looking directly to the book. “You are not the kind of woman who’s going to leave her duties and fail on her ideals just because of anyone.” She sighted, then looked back to Jean. “You deserve love if you want it. You just must look for the right person.”

“It sounds good.” Jean mumbled. “But I would be selfish if I claimed everything.”

“You’re so stubborn.” Lisa laughed. “Then answer me something. If you’re going to die tomorrow, would you regret not having found love?”

The air became uncomfortable. Lisa saw how Jean’s body tensed and understood something: she put Jean against a corner.

“Sorry...” / “Yes.” Both said at the same time. But the knight could not hear Lisa’s apologies because of the lower tone, so she kept talking. “Maybe. I can’t say for sure if I would regret it but somewhat, I feel I would.”

Jean lowered her head while Lisa kept watching at her. They stayed like that for a while, as the witch knew no word were needed.

“I’m leaving now.” Lisa said while yawning. “Unless you want me to stay.” Joked. At first, Jean seemed to focus on the papers she was reading, but after a while, she said:

“Stay.”

The witch shocked and looked directly to the Grand Master who was still into her reading. She approached the knight and took the papers from her hands.

“¡Hey!”

“Stop working.” Leave the papers on the table and faced Jean. “Do you really want me to stay?”

Jean nodded and tried to get the paper’s back, but Lisa was faster and took them again.

“Lisa, they’re important!”

“Is Mondstadt going to be attacked, in danger or going to explode tonight?”

“Of course not!”

“So, whatever it’s on them can wait until tomorrow, can’t it?”

Jean doubted but tried to get her papers back once more. It was useless. The papers were the answer of the real Master to the events from two days ago. They weren’t important but for the personal meaning to Jean. Truth be told, she read them completely, but needed to re-read it again and again to made sure she was really forgiven. Lisa was right, only Jean herself was blaming her because of what happened.

“You’re really evil.” Jean replied with was a childish attitude.

“Thank you ~.” The witch winked and shown her evilest smile ever.

“Not credible at all.” Said the knight, laughing.

“Well, that’s because I’m not able to show you my scariest side. That’s only for those who don’t return books when time is over.”

“So, if I don’t return the book you gave me in time, will you get mad at me?”

Lisa’s eyes got scarier, and Jean flinched but kept watching to the witch with a curious look.

“I would make you suffer. But don’t worry, I’ll take it myself before that happens.”

They both looked at each other. Lisa could read Jean’s eyes; she was decided to get the papers back. The witch decided to play a little longer with the knight and balanced the hand where they were. Jean approached the librarian and tried a faster move. She could not catch the papers but the other’s arm.

“I catch yo…”

But they were close, too close, and Jean hesitate. Her heart started beating faster because she remembered of the book.

“What happened, Grand Master ~? You prefer looking at me rather than take your papers back.” Even the witch words weren’t completely confident. Lisa was confused but not because of herself but Jean’s, she could not understand why the knight looked strange, even afraid. “Maybe…”

Lisa noticed Jean was going to take a step back. “Sorr…” It seems the knight was trying to say but Lisa moved faster and with her free hand wrapped Jean around her waist. “Lisa?”

“You want me to kiss you?”

Jean let a nervous laugh out. For a while, she thought Lisa was just joking as always, but soon realize she was wrong. They faced each other in silence for eternal seconds that ended when Jean nodded. It was a small, little nod that only the other girl would be able to see due to their proximity.

Lisa pressed her lips against Jean’s with a gentle, soft touch. It was a first, small contact to give Jean time to regret and go apart. But the knight was there, her eyes closed. It was obvious that she was unexperienced but none of them separated for a little longer.

Jean was the one who broke their contact. Her face was all red. She covered her lips with the right hand, but a smile could be seen through her fingers.

“Am I really allowed to that?”

“Oh, darling ~.” Lisa could not avoid but laugh. “Yes, you are. If you really want it, you can do whatever.” Lisa kept smiling.

And Jean approached to get another kiss.

*** ** * ** ***

She was sitting on the hands of the Anemo Archon statue. The breeze was pleasant and gave her peace. She was looking to nowhere. No enemies, no fights, no requests. Just her and the wind. She jumped. She had no idea why but throw herself from the statue’s hand. But she wasn’t afraid. The wind moved as she wanted to stop her from falling to the ground. There was someone in front of her. Them was an unknown woman but for some reason she felt as she knew her. She was the one she admired the most.

“That’s freedom, you like it?”

The knight understood it. She looked up to the sky and drew a smile.

“Yes.”