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Kanae never stops thinking of him. Even when he pours himself coffee at 1am, exhausted and covered in blood that isn't his, he thinks of Master Shuu. The black coffee swirls in his mug, the smell wafting up and swirling around him. He stares down into it, but the coffee isn't what fills his thoughts and tugs at his heart.
The ghoul thinks of bringing his master a cup, but Shuu-sama wouldn't drink it anyways. He hardly ate or drank anything more than absolutely necessary these days.
Kanae brings the mug to his mouth. The hot coffee burns his tongue, but after a few seconds, his tastebuds have healed again.
If you like your coffee hot, let me be your coffee pot.
Master Shuu always liked his coffee hot, didn't he?
He cringes, tears welling up again. It was always times like this, alone at odd hours of the night, when he feels most helpless. His love would never be enough. His dedication would never replace Kaneki. Shuu owned him completely, but it didn't make any difference. Kanae would never be more than his faithful servant, doing whatever Shuu asked whenever he asked it. Not that he minds that part; what truly bothers him is that someone had filled the spot he dreamed of having in his master's life.
The coffee doesn't burn when he gulps it down.
You call the shots, babe
I just wanna be yours
The young ghoul sighs, drifting down the hallways aimlessly, running his hand along the walls. He was exhausted, but not tired.
His feet bring him to Shuu-sama's room.
Pushing the door open, Kanae lays his eyes on the figure lying on the huge bed. Even in this state, his master was still beautiful. Emotion he'd supressed for years catches in his throat. No matter how he tries to supress it, it stays deeply rooted in his heart. The type of love a servant should never feel toward their master.
There had been times, yes, where he'd thought Shuu-sama had seen through him. His eyes had shone too bright, or he'd lost himself admiring the beauty of his master. The charisma that surrounded the man was sometimes too much even for Kanae. Though he thought Shuu had realized his confidential feelings, he was never confronted. Maybe Shuu-sama just didn't care.
Did he care about Kanae at all?
Secrets I have held in my heart
Are harder to hide than I thought
Kanae brings himself to the side of the bed.
I just wanna be yours
He brushes the long hair off of his master's face. Tsukiyama's chest rises and falls, rhythmic and soothing. When he sees Shuu shiver a bit, he pulls up the blanket and tucks it in around his master's frail body.
Let me be your 'leccy meter and I'll never run out
And let me be the portable heater that you'll get cold without
I just wanna be yours
He's looking at his master in admiration, but bites his tongue in anger. Kanae would never leave him like this, depressed and weak. He would never make someone he loved so much so unhappy. That pig- Kaneki - did he not care for others at all?
Why?
Why did he hurt Shuu-sama?
Why wasn't Kanae's love enough?
I wanna be your setting lotion
Hold your hair in deep devotion
At least as deep as the Pacific Ocean
I just wanna be yours
Kanae turns from the ghoul on the bed and quickly strides away, leaving behind the pain and the hurt and the anger. He will never leave his master. No matter what, no matter how low he has to sink or what state Shuu-sama is in. Kanae completely, wholly belongs to him.
I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
Breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust