Work Text:
Sundays were for cleaning.
Kyouka found solace in those mornings when she rose with the sun, slowly, softly. Taking a quiet moment to herself before she filled her apartment was filled with heavy bass and distorted riffs. Loud enough to drown out any unnecessary thinking while she kept her running mind occupied with the repeated steps of dust, sweep, scrub, fold. Repeating until the uneasy feeling built up in her chest subsided.
Sundays were for her.
With a huff, she tugged at her coffee table until it was cleared off of the rug. While Kyouka was thorough in her weekly tidying, she resigned herself from having to move around the larger objects in her home. She shuddered at the thought of the last time she attempted to move the oven. This week, though, had provided her with a bout of restless energy.
She began to retrieve the vacuum when a small silver chain caught her eye. She paused. Squinted. Then, let out a Ha! as she jumped over the couch. Her foot caught the ledge causing her to stumble for balance before her forearms cushioned her fall. A rug burn would definitely be there when she checked, but she didn’t pay any mind to the sting as she sat up and snatched the object. A small amethyst moon rested in her palm. Finally, she thought.
Standing, she brushed herself off and wandered into the kitchen to grab her phone. She turned her music off, quickly selected Momo’s contact, and hit call.
Halfway through the first ring, she froze.
Wait... She shouldn’t be calling, needed to hang up. This was silly. She wasn’t thinking. The chance doesn’t come when Momo’s soft voice caused Kyouka to tense even more. “Hello! You have reached Yaoyorozu Momo.” Did her heart stop? No, it was in her throat now. “I apologize, but I am away.” For a brief moment, Kyouka cringed. She had forgotten Momo had an odd, professional voicemail. Kyouka had begged her to just leave it automated, but Momo had simply tilted her head and stated, “Well, it feels rather impersonal for someone to hear a robot. I’d like to personally let them know I’m unavailable.” And well, who was Kyouka to deny those earnest words and easy smile?
A sudden beep pulled her from her thoughts.
Gaze refocusing on the necklace in her hand, she cleared her throat. Willed herself to spit something out. “Hey,” she said, “It’s me… Kyouka. Obviously, ha. I, um. I found your necklace, finally. It was under the coffee table actually, and yeah, yeah I know. I need to move that stupid thing more often. It’s too much of a hassle. You know that.” She could feel herself relaxing, a small pulling at the corners of her lips. “So, anyway. I just wanted to let you know that I’m keeping. Y’know, for all the hard work I put into finding it…. Bye.”
Silence swallowed the space. Only leaving room for Kyouka’s shallow breathing. The smile became short-lived when she realized how abrupt the hang-up had been. She groaned and let her head fall forward. Her free hand pushed through her bangs, tugged on the roots. Oh god, this is so humiliating. Why did I do that? She needed to get back to cleaning.
Needed to forget this happened.
With a tap of her finger, music abruptly pushed the silence out of the room, thoughts out of her head. She tossed her phone back onto the counter. Before she let herself dwell on it anymore, she clasped the necklace around her neck, tucked it into her sweater, and made her way back to the living room.
No more calls.
“Yaomomo, I finally went to the cafe. The green one?”
Kyouka’s boots thudded against the concrete as she made her way back home. She scrunched her nose as a bitter wind bit at her cheeks, ears, fingers. The setting sun did nothing more than stretch her shadow to keep her company in the cold.
“Work was a little-a lot… well, you know how it can be. Anyway, I remembered you going on and on about that calming tea or whatever. How rich it was.” She said the last part in her best impression of Momo. Sophisticated. Haughty. She was rather proud of it considering she had been perfecting it for so many years. She continued, “So I thought, hey, why not? Momo, I totally blanked in there it was so awful. I couldn’t remember the name of the tea, and I just… stood there!”
She reached out to grab the handle of her apartment building. A slight shiver ran through her as heat washed over her with the opening of the door. Footsteps echoed as she briskly walked in and up to the elevator. She lowered her voice as she carried on, “I panicked. I ordered a black coffee. A black coffee.” She could practically see Momo’s disgusted face. Her quiet, Oh, my.
Once in the elevator, making her way up, up, up, she leaned back. “I went in there to-- I don’t know. Chill out? Now here I am with this stupid cup that I’m not even going to drink.” She heaved a sigh, pushing as much as she could out of her lungs. Her bangs fluttered out of her face briefly. Her voice became even quieter, unsure, “I really don’t know how I get by without you practically holding my hand sometimes.”
She stayed silent when she arrived at her floor.
Nothing was said as she let her apartment door shut softly behind her.
A lull as she removed her shoes.
“Anyway. I just needed to tell you about the stupid cafe that I will no longer be showing my face in.” She let out a small breath. Then, “Um, sweet dreams.” Although it had come out as more of a question.
Kyouka was unsure of how long she stood in the doorway staring at her feet, phone pressed to her ear, but the call ended before she had the chance to do it herself.
Feet carried her to the sink as her thoughts continued to settle in a deep haze. She unconsciously popped the lid and dumped the coffee. She watched as it swirled before sliding down the drain. She has a passing thought that she could have saved that, heated it in the morning. The idea made her grimace, shaking her out of the fog.
Yeah, she thought, time for bed.
She shuffled down the short hallway, into her room. Managed to only change and put on rain sounds before burying herself under the covers. She fell asleep with the vague awareness that she was clutching the moon hanging from her neck as the one pouring light through her window alleviated the darkness that she thought would have surely suffocated her in her sleep.
Life didn’t let up; kept its heel pressed to Kyouka’s throat.
The frenzy of work brought some relief, chances for small gasps of air. It stayed busy enough to keep her distracted. Overwhelming enough to where she found herself waking, patrolling, then back home to sleep--sleeping at the agency on occasion.
Eventually, she was granted enough time to drag herself out to restock her fridge. Which is how she wound up standing in the vegetable aisle of a near-empty grocery store staring blankly at a pile of cabbage when two voices began to rise. She blinked once, twice.
She knew those voices.
Ambling a few aisles over, she came face to face with a shorter man clutching a… she tilted her head to the side. It was an All Might themed cereal box. She huffed a laugh, louder than she had anticipated, and caught his attention. He leaned further around the person crowding over him with a surprised look that morphed into a toothy grin. Kyouka had always loved that one, couldn’t help but return it.
“Jirou!” He exclaimed as he flung himself at Kyouka. Hood falling off and green curls bouncing in the process of wrapping his arms around her. “Woah, it’s so good to see you!”
“Jesus, Deku. You want the whole damn store to know we’re here?” Katsuki turned to fully face them. His baseball cap allowed only small wisps of his hair to escape, and Kyouka was sure there was a scowl hidden underneath his mask as he approached them. He pulled Izuku back by his hood and shoved it back up as Izuku let out a sheepish apology. Kyouka didn’t see a reason for her to receive one, so she let herself assume it was for his husband instead.
“Kacchan, come on.” Izuku swatted to Katsuki. “It’s been so long! Hey, hey, Jirou. I heard you changed agencies. You’re back with Gang Orca, right? That’s so cool! I bet it’s been interesting going back after so much time.” Kyouka started to get lost in the mumbling, a fond feeling warmed her chest. It started to hit her that it had been a long time since she had seen her friends. She offhandedly thought of the missed call from Mina. She needed to get back to her. Needed to follow up on so many things. It had been difficult to remember things lately. She stood there, clutching the basket in her grasp a little tighter, trying to remember the last time she even called back home. Everything was moving too fast.
She did her best to nod along to Izuku’s spiel and at least look like she was paying attention. Only half catching the words, fully following his hands as they waved around. He took a pause and seemed to study her. Kyouka caught the way his face softened in the way she knew he couldn’t help. Too caring. Too kind. It made her stomach sink.
“It is really nice to see you, Jirou. I’m so sorry I- we haven’t reached out. How have you-” He’s cut short by Katsuki.
“‘Zuku.” It was gruff, short, to the point. “You forgot the onion. Go grab it while I get you fuckin’ cereal, and then let's get the hell out of here.”
Izuku looked back at him, hiding the way his eyebrows furrowed. Kyouka knew it without seeing it, though. It only made the feeling inside her churn. Start to climb its way up her throat. Then, Izuku was clapping his hands together. “Really?! Kacchan is the best,” he said. He turned back to Kyouka with an easy smile--the bright, post-fight interview one that was wholly Hero Deku and his all-encompassing reassurance. He moved to hug her one last time before practically skipping down the aisle. “We’ll all get together soon, yeah?” It was a promise more than a request.
She watched him disappear around the corner before she was able to will her hand into producing a wave.
A throat clearing from behind her had her turning back around to face Katsuki. They stared at each other for a moment. Katsuki’s eyes narrowed slightly before he gave a sharp nod and began to move to follow Izuku’s path. He paused once he was at her side, reached up, and placed a hand on her shoulder. He gave a firm squeeze and continued on his way. “Later, Ears,” is all he said. Then, he was gone.
Kyouka took a shuddering breath. The weight of her phone in her back pocket attempted to anchor her. She had to force herself to move, to continue throughout the store.
All she could focus on was the phone.
It became too much by the time she returned home, groceries packed away. The current ringing filling the quiet space of her living room brought a dose of comfort. Allowed her to settle back into the couch and bring a cushion to her chest.
“You’ll never guess who I ran into today,” she began after the beep. “The wonder idiots. Arguing over All Might cereal of all things. I guess that’s nothing really new for them, though.” She paused as she fell to her side. “I’m glad some things haven’t changed.”
That was the thing. Some things haven’t changed, but only for those around her. Life continued to flow, opportunities arose, families grew. All while Kyouka had been left to drown when her lifejacket was stripped from her. Abruptly. Unfairly.
Unfair. It was all so unfair.
“You know, this week really, really sucked, Yaomomo.”
So, she began to tell Momo about her day, the day before that, and the day before that. It began to bleed into multiple calls, multiple messages. Kyouka only gave herself time to think during the rings. Prepare for what she wanted to say next. She needed it out. All of it. Everything.
She found herself pacing during the third call. Back and forth. Up and down the cramped hallway until the white walls were suffocating her, closing in. Circles around the kitchen table made for two.
During the fifth, her voice cracked at the volume it reached. It reverberated and bounced off the kitchen cabinets. Was thrown into the fridge as she searched for a drink, and then promptly trapped when she slammed the door shut.
The count was abandoned by the time she found herself in bed. The fuzzy blackness of the night surrounded her. Offered her the assurance of sleep, rest. The ability to forget if just for a short time. The occasional sniffle and rustling of sheets were the only sign of Kyouka’s presence on the line.
After a while, she croaked out, “I think… I think I should go to bed. It’s okay if I just stay on, right?”
No one had to know that it took one more call back before she finally succumbed to sleep.
Calls had become cathartic after that. Frequent, nearly daily, but inconsistent in their length.
Sometimes concise.
Kyouka hummed a tune as soon as her message started, forgoing a greeting. “That has been stuck in my head all day! Does it sound okay? I think I like it. I’m on my way home right now. I was thinking I could give it a piano accompaniment. I’ll call you back once I get it done. I mean, it’s been a while since I’ve practiced, so it might take a little bit. And yes, don’t worry I’m taking care of your baby. I dust her practically every day.”
Sometimes long-winded.
Kyouka sat on the floor as the phone rang. She stared straight ahead for a few seconds before speaking, “You hear that? It’s the sound of my fucking extreme disappointment, Momo. This new album was garbage! Disgusting! I mean, damn, I could do better than that.” She proceeded to spend the next few minutes going song by song. Picked apart melodies, lyrics, and even song placement on the album. In the end, she came to a conclusion. “Yeah! I can do better than that. Gotta go. Oh, I am going to show those bastards.”
It was comforting. A blanket to clutch on cold nights in the empty apartment. It was a routine.
One that Kyouka continued to follow as she placed her phone down on the kitchen counter, tapping to call Momo. She was buzzing, excited to give Momo the rundown of the case she was finally able to crack today. She hummed along to the first ring as she leaned into the fridge.
And then, a click.
She froze. Suddenly dizzy.
“Hello?”
Her head snapped up, smacked the edge of the freezer door. She wasn’t able to let out the string of curses on the tip of her tongue. Too afraid her guts may come up instead.
“Hello? May I ask who’s calling?” Kyouka, one hand on the crown of her head, forced herself to turn around. She had to say something. She had to respond. Something. Anything. To this person--this man.
“I’m,” she began. Leaded legs moved her closer to the phone. Her eyes struggled to focus on Momo’s name on the screen and the up-ticking timer under it. Knuckles turned white, tightening around the edge of the counter. “I’m sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number.”
“Ah, not to worry! Have a good day.” Another click and it was over. Just like that.
She swayed over the sink and oh. There were her guts.
Kyouka was unsure if the message she typed out after shakily grabbing her phone was coherent. Her vision was too watery, too cloudy to let her surroundings in.
It seemed to have worked either way when a knock sounded from the front entrance. She didn’t move to answer. She was unsure how much time had passed from when she first laid down on the cold tiles. The sound of a key turning in the lock echoes, followed by Mina’s voice filtering in. “Kyouka? Honey, I’m coming in, okay?”
Kyouka knows she’s standing in front of her now. Fuzzy blue socks were all she could bring herself to look at. Mina muttered something under her breath before sinking down next to Kyouka. She pulled Kyouka’s head into her lap, brushed her sweat-damp bangs out of her face. Kyouka assumed Mina’s whispered words were ones of reassurance from the soft tone she was using.
Fingers carding through her hair gave the strength to choke out, “It’s gone. Now it’s some- some guy. It’s all I had left. All I had. Those calls. Mina, she’s gone.” It was choppy and too slurred together. She was sure Mina couldn’t understand her, but she felt warm hands move to her shoulders, down her arms. The soothing motion repeated until Kyouka could only muster a hiccup of sob here and there.
“Come on,” Mina murmured as she shifted Kyouka until she was sitting up. A hand softly held her cheek. “Why don’t we go lay down, hm?”
If she was asked to retrace her steps between the time Mina helped her stand to when they were both laid face to face in bed, Kyouka didn’t think she could. Time was fuzzy when all her attention went into making sure her legs stayed under her, that her hand never untwined from Mina’s, that she remembered to let air into treacherous lungs that pushed it all out in choppy exhales.
Kyouka looked up to her friend, throat closing up. She didn’t deserve this. The kindness. The care. “I’m so sorry I never called you back,” she said.
“Ah, hey there,” Mina easily replied. “Don’t even worry about that. We can talk in the morning. About all of it. From the beginning, but in the meantime… It’s been so long since we had a sleepover! I’m going to order us some food and we’ll watch those music videos you love to make fun of. Sound cool?”
The guilt of pushing away someone as wonderful as Mina swelled because how could someone know exactly what to do every single time? She dug deep to give Mina the smile she deserved and exhaled a quiet, “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds perfect.”
Fingers tapped against the steering wheel creating a soft beat. A light thump thumpthump thump. It was a means of stalling. She knew that. Was berating herself because stalling is all that she had been doing. A scoff filled the quiet space of her parked car. Kyouka stole another glance up ahead at the ornate gate. She steeled herself then and grabbed the flowers out of the passenger seat. Consciously loosening her grip when she felt a stem give, unconsciously letting the car door slam.
With a wince, she started to walk with slow, tense steps.
Spring had taken its time settling in with warm breeze, lingering sun, and fresh leaves filling the bare trees winter had left in its wake. Grass sprouted throughout the cobblestone paths under Kyouka’s leather boots. Her body carried her on autopilot through each turn, each wind in the path. She had spent so long choosing this location. Nights spent pouring over pamphlets, articles, and emails before she felt she was making the right decision. She could walk this path in her sleep.
It had been worth it, though, when seeing it at that moment. Tucked away from any peering eyes and shaded, protected, by a willow tree. The remoteness allowed for the space to be framed with clusters of wildflowers. Kyouka knew her choice would be perfect for moments like this one despite the fact she had failed to take advantage of it. It was truly beautiful. Tranquil. Perfect for her, and Kyouka allowed herself to be comforted by the small fact.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and closed the final few steps.
“Hi. It’s me. Kyouka.” She shook her head and laughed. “Obviously. Um… I brought these for you. I feel kind of silly now seeing you’ve got all of these.” She waved her around. “Like you always say though, never too much of a good thing.” With shaking hands, she gently placed the lilies in front of the stone.
Momo Yaoyorozu.
Kyouka settled, folding her legs underneath herself. “I’m sorry. I should start with that, right? I’m so sorry for not coming sooner. I think I needed to- to ease my way into this because sometimes I wake up and I forget it’s real. That you’re here and not in our kitchen making tea and humming the piece I wrote the night before.
I don’t think I realized how much I missed talking to you until that first call. I mean, of course, of course, I knew I would miss you, but… Momo, sometimes it’s too much. Sometimes I don’t think I can do it. You know, it took Mina practically shoving me out the door this morning to come. I know that sounds awful, and I’m so sorry that’s what it took, but coming here meant I have to really face the truth. That-” Her voice wavered. She smoothed her hands over her thighs, wiping away the nervousness that had accumulated.
She thought the feeling was similar to when she had confessed. Anxiousness that caused her lungs to tighten, but relief in knowing once the words were out everything would change for the better.
She took a moment to collect herself. Practice the phrase she was about to utter for what felt like the hundredth time. Then, she spoke.
“That I had been selfish. I hadn’t come because of my own self-centered reasons.”
It was an instant reprieve. The shame and remorse eased, trickled back down her throat with each inhale. She could feel the morning dew sinking through her jeans. The sun provided a pleasant and warm hand to hold as she continued.
“But I’m done hiding. For you, and for myself. For both of us. I promise I’ll be here more. I’ll suck it up and buy pastries from that stupid cafe, and I’ll ask them for their recommendations on tea. I’ll come back and we can talk. Like always.”
The rest of her time was spent in silence. It seemed appropriate. Necessary for her to let everything finally sink in. Let this moment be a restart.
“Oh, before I forget.” She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a silver chain. A garnet sun shone as the early morning light bounced off of it. Kyouka leaned forward to nestle it within the flowers she had placed earlier. She let her hand fall lightly to the earth in front of her, and quietly added, “I do love you. Always.”
She rose, brushed her hands off, and smiled knowing she would be back in a week's time.
Because now Sundays were for them.