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There will be a day in the future when Terry looks back and, with the advantage of hindsight (and sobriety), he will compare John to a tidal wave, or to a storm: a force that comes in and wrecks havoc, that disappears from one moment to the next but is never truly gone, remaining an ever-looming presence.
But young him has a hole in his heart and John, who saved his life, who reassures him of their future together with a hand on his cheek, who understands him like no one else does, fits there just right.
***
Chasing John as he storms off after the All Valley Tournament is as annoying as it is awkward, but he understands. If he’s furious, John must be livid, having been humiliated twice by the same scrawny kid and old Japanese man.
“Look, Johnny, we’ll think of something else,” he says when he finally manages to catch up. John just sneers. “Even better, forget San Fernando. It’s trash. Pick a place—I’ll buy another dojo and you can start over.”
“Save it, Terry. I don’t want your pity.”
“Pity? It’s never been pity.”
Terry knows its over when he leans in to kiss John, hoping that actions would come across more clearly than words, and John turns his head to avoid him. Getting physical is almost second nature to them, but there’s no playful roughness or protectiveness in the way John shoves him away to put distance between them.
***
Terry watches as the police cuffs John.
For once, he gets to be the one that sends John away instead of being walked out on, and it feels good. Of course, John will come back, and he will be there for him (if decades of separation couldn’t keep them apart for good, what is some jail time?) because John might have completed him once, but he will always be his weakness.