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I drew a broken heart
Right on your window pane
Bucky never thought he'd be such a sap. For fuck's sake he's acting like some overly attached dame sitting here waiting for Steve to come back from his lunch with Sam. He shouldn't feel jealous. There's nothing between Sam and Steve. Steve would tell him if there was. But there is someone. Someone that's not Bucky. And that hits Bucky worse than a shot to the gut.
Waited for your reply
Here in the pouring rain
It's pouring outside and Bucky can't help but worry that if Steve get the least bit wet he'll risk catching pneumonia again. But then he remembers. Steve is strong now. He doesn't need Bucky to worry about him and take care of him.
Just breathe against the glass
Leave me some kind of sign
I know the hurt won't pass
Bucky breathes. He's fogging up the glass but he can't seem to care. His mind is stuck on the dreamy look Steve sometimes gets. The kind that he used to see aimed at him by dames. But never by Steve. Steve would never get those looks in his eyes before. It hurts Bucky. He's been so gone on that boy since the beginning but he never got the slightest hint from Steve that he felt the same way. It hurts. But Bucky is used to pain by now.
Just tell me it's not the end of the line
Bucky doesn't want it. He doesn't want to see Steve with those looks in his eyes knowing full well that they are not aimed at him. He doesn't think he can take it much more. He doesn't want to leave Steve though. Not that Steve wants him to. He could easily break out but Steve wants him to stay. So he does. He doesn't know how long that will last. He's so close to breaking but all the while he keeps hoping that they haven't reached the end of the line yet.
XxX
I never meant to break your heart
I won't let this plane go down
He's probably beating himself up. Bucky tells himself as he watches the city from his perch in a tree. Bucky's already starting to want to go back to their apartment. But he waits a little more.
I never meant to make you cry
He might even be crying. Bucky thinks. He always was the only one that could make Steve cry. It was an ability that he despised, although with anyone else he would probably cherish it. He's feeling like shit by now and when Bucky is about turn back his branch breaks. And things start to get surreal.
I'll do what it takes to make this fly
He follows them. He only does it because they seem to know more about Steve then he does and these people are virtual strangers. He follows because he wants to know the Steve they are talking about.
You gotta hold on
Hold on to what you're feeling
Bucky is feeling strange. He's starting to hope. Hope that Steve feels the same. He knows he shouldn't. These people don't know anything. They don't know his Steve.
That feeling is the best thing
Except maybe they do. When he sees the movie and sees that Steve helped write it, he knows. He knows that Steve loves him right back. And that feeling. That warmth that's bursting through his chest has to be why life is worth living.
I'm gonna place my bet on us
That feeling is what makes him walk back to their apartment after profusely thanking the guylinered saints that showed him the light. (That light being called Brooklyn aka his salvation.) He's going to face Steve. He's going to tell him. He won't get rejected. But some small part of him is still so scared. Scared that it was all a trick or a plot to mess with his head. That's why this feels like such a risk.
XxX
I know this love is heading in the same direction
A year later Bucky is so sure. He loves his Steve and his Steve loves him. This past year has been the best of his miserable existence and he wants it to continue. To never end. To persevere to the very end of the line. That desire gives him the courage to interrupt Steve. To propose in his own way. And Steve says yes. And his heart soars.
That's Up.