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Nobody ever tells you how to move on from an amicable breakup when it is nobody’s fault and nothing was left unsaid. At least when there is a big fight or the other person turns out to be a major jerk, then you may feel justified for ending things. But when it is life itself, the one getting in between you and the best relationship you ever had, it is impossible to not feel a bit nostalgic for that person from time to time.
Not that Park Jimin had much time to be feeling nostalgic over Jeon Jungkook, though. Not when he had four different dance classes he needed to focus on, in addition to helping choreograph the school’s annual spring festival. He was too busy to be thinking about a certain doe-eyed boy he left behind in Busan. He moved to Seoul eight months ago to take a position as an instructor at one of Seoul’s most exclusive dance studios. In fact, he had so little time that he did not get a chance to visit his family in Busan for the holidays this year. It definitely was just his busy schedule that prevented him from going and not an overwhelming sense of dread at the possibility of running into said ex.
Jungkook and he had only been dating for a couple of months when Jimin mentioned his wish to send an application to his current workplace. In fact, it had been a dream of Jimin’s the past couple of years, but he never felt confident enough to send that audition tape. Jungkook was the one who encouraged him to do so. He was the one who stayed behind with him long into the dead of night, watching Jimin rehearse nonstop so he could get every dance move right. He was the one who recorded his dance set and edited the video so it would stand out from the rest of the other applicants. It was Jungkook who accompanied him to Seoul for the in person interview and cheered for him from the tiny waiting room. And it had been Jungkook, the one who was there to give him the biggest kiss once that call came, letting Jimin know the job was his. It was also Jungkook the one who drove him to the train station the day Jimin departed to Seoul for good. Jimin still recalled the faint taste of chocolate lingering on Jungkook’s lips during their last kiss.
Their breakup had not been a surprise. From the moment Jimin made his wish known about applying for this job, there was a mutual understanding that their relationship would not be long distance. Jimin was far too clingy to be ok with his partner being so far away. He also knew it would be a big adjustment moving to Seoul and he did not want anything or anyone to distract him from this transition. Besides him and Jungkook had not been together for long; it would make no sense to continue something when his boyfriend had no desire to leave Busan. Despite this, it was difficult to not think about things would have turned out if they had actually stayed together.
When he first arrived in Seoul, the two had kept in touch. They would text regularly; part of it was because it was hard to stop the pattern they had while they were dating, especially considering things had not ended bitterly between them, and another was because Jimin needed that familiar comfort as he was navigating life in a new city and interacting with people he did not know that well. He felt a little guilty for that, but never for long. It was not until Jungkook casually mentioned going on a group outing with people from their dance studio in Busan, that Jimin felt a pang of jealousy. Of course it would not be fair to expect Jungkook to remain pinning after him considering he had taken off to pursue his own dream, but at the same time he did not necessarily want to hear about it. Their interactions became less and less frequent until eventually they stopped. Only a friendly birthday wish they each left on each other’s social media was the only other form of communication they had since.
“I think that’s enough for today. Let’s meet again on Thursday. Good job everyone! Get home safe.” Jimin was immediately pulled from his thoughts by Hoseok’s voice.
Hoseok was another instructor at the studio, and he was also in charge of choreographing the school’s spring festival. He had already been an instructor for three years by the time Jimin joined the team. He was grateful for having someone show him the ropes and invite him to outings so he could start meeting other people. If it had not been for his hyung, he would not have adjusted as quickly as he did.
“You ok?” Hoseok asked once the student had left the practice room. “You seem a bit out of it today”. Hoseok’s voice showed real concern and Jimin felt even sillier for allowing himself to be distracted by his ex and making his hyung worry over him.
“Yes sorry, just a little tired. Did not get much sleep last night” Jimin lied as he pulled his blonde locks away from his forehead.
“Ugh nothing worse than not getting enough sleep at night.” Hoseok added as he was packing his bag. “Do you want to grab dinner together? Maybe we can invite MinHo and Momo to join us if they have not left already.”
“I would love to hyung, but I think it may be best if I can try to get to bed early tonight.” Jimin responded. Usually he would jump at the opportunity of getting distracted by going out with others, but tonight he was not really in the mood of pretending.
Hoseok just gave him an understanding smile. “Hope you are able to get some rest tonight then. Go ahead, you can leave first. I will close down the place tonight”.
Jimin knew closing down the studio would not be too much of a hassle as theirs was the last class of the day and the other rooms had already been closed for the day. He still felt bad for leaving Hoseok with the burden. “Hyung, you don’t need to…”
“Go ahead and go!” Hoseok said gently slapping Jimin’s right shoulder. “You were really out of it today so you must be exhausted”.
Jimin did not need to be told twice. He bowed while giving thanks to Hoseok one more time. As he left the studio he was feeling a bit disappointed in himself for letting thoughts of his ex-boyfriend distract him from his work.
As he was walking home, he passed by a store with tons of red and pink advertisements and a display of chocolates neatly placed into heart-shaped boxes. Valentine’s Day was soon approaching in just a couple of weeks, and stores were already targeting their audience. Jimin stopped by the store window and just stared at the chocolates. A memory coming back to him.
He remembered how the previous year, on Valentine’s Day, Jungkook had brought a big box of chocolates one of front desk clerks at the gym he worked at had gifted him. The two of them found it amusing and decided to just share the box.
That day Jungkook wanted to visit Amnam park and go to the less popular walkway by the cliffs. Jimin teased him about the chocolates and pretended to be sad Jungkook now needed to return the girl’s affection for White Day. At the time, they had gone out on a couple dates but were still not officially together.
“Hyung, are you jealous?” Jungkook had asked him that day as they shared chocolates by the cliff side, a playful smile on his lips.
“Why would I be jealous? You are not my boyfriend” Jimin had teased back. “Technically you are a free to pursue this chocolate girl”.
Jungkook looked him straight into his eyes and asked with a serious tone “What if I want to get chocolates from you instead? What if I want to be your boyfriend?”
Jimin just laughed and lightly poked the younger boy’s shoulder, a blush quickly spreading from his neck all the way to his cheeks “you better stop saying things like that or I will get the wrong idea Jeon Jungkook!”
Jungkook grabbed Jimin’s hand and pulled him closer to him. “Go ahead and get the wrong idea then” he said right before they shared the first of many kisses that day. From then on their relationship developed with such ease. Even if they only were together for a few short months, it felt as if they had been dating for years.
At one point, Jimin had drunkenly confided in Jungkook that he wanted the younger boy to eat more chocolates so they could always recreate their first kiss. Jungkook laughed at this confession but would randomly carry small pieces of the confectionery so he could surprise Jimin every now and then. How cruel that Jungkook decided to hide a piece of chocolate in his pocket the day he drove him to the train station.
Jimin saw his own reflection staring back at him from the shop’s window. Is that why he kept thinking about Jungkook nonstop for the past few days? Because his subconscious somehow had picked up that Valentine’s Day would have been their first anniversary if they had stayed together? Jimin just shook his head and kept walking. He was acting like a teenager at this point. The months they had been apart had surpassed the time they had been together. He really needed to get it together and move on. Jungkook most likely already had.
But maybe it would not be a bad idea to reach out and see how he was doing…maybe he could just send a generic greeting, realize that Jungkook was no longer interested, and then move on. Jimin took his phone out and started going down his contact list. He found the message thread he shared with Jungkook and began typing a quick greeting. Being distracted by his phone, Jimin did not see the uneven part of the sidewalk sticking out.
Jimin felt his left foot twist at a weird angle and pain shot from it almost immediately. Because of the uneven surface, he fell forward, scrapping his hands as he tried to brace for impact. Fortunately, a couple of people walking by came to his aid and helped him get up.
~~~~~
“Good news, you didn’t fracture anything” A doctor was holding an x-ray film against the light as he explained to him and Hoseok about the injury. “It is just a minor sprain, should be ok in two to three weeks. You just need to stay off your foot as much as possible and keep it elevated. It should heal in no time.”
“Two to three weeks?! How am I supposed to teach during that time?” Jimin asked exasperatedly. Not only did he fall down in probably the most embarrassing way ever, but now his carelessness was going to interfere with his classes and with helping Hoseok with their joint project for the studio’s festival.
The doctor looked a bit bored as he said “Well young man, it could have been a lot worse. Three weeks go by fast, and if you take care of your ankle, the swelling may go down sooner.” The doctor handed him a prescription for pain medicine and walked away from Jimin and Hoseok.
“Hey now! Don’t worry about classes right now. All the instructors can rotate and cover your classes with no problem. Besides, Seollal is just a few days away and the studio will be closed for the holiday. And as for the festival preparations, we still have plenty of time.” Hoseok gave him a reassuring smile. “What matters now is for you to listen to the doctor and get better”. Hoseok had come to Jimin’s aid in no time after the younger one had called him. The studio was not far from where the fall had taken place, and Hoseok took him to a local hospital in his car.
“Maybe I can still go in and just monitor students while sitting down in the corner?” Jimin tried to argue.
“And how will you get a good view of the students in the back if you are not able to walk around and see what everyone is doing?” Hoseok just countered back. “Listen, this is a minor thing in the great scheme of things. Just take the three weeks to rest and let it heal properly”. Hoseok stood up and helped Jimin stand up. “Let’s get this prescription filled and then I’ll drop you off home”.
~~~~~
Jimin was not too thrilled at the idea of staying inside his very small studio, nursing his ankle. The swelling was still very pronounced at this point and he could barely walk on it without flinching in pain. As if going by her sixth sense, his mother reached out the day after his injury and was now trying to convince him to come back to Busan to take care of him.
“Either you come down or we go up there!.” His mom had said that morning. “We have not seen you in forever and Seollal is just a few days away. Come visit!”
“Mom, I cannot really walk on it.” Jimin tried to argue.
“Are you on crutches? A cast? If you don’t have any of those then you should be ok to make the trip down.”
Jimin could not really argue with that. Besides, the promise of homemade food sounded a lot more appealing than endless take-out. It had been several months since he saw his parents and little brother. It would be good to spend this time with them.
The first few days back were pretty uneventful. Jimin tried to help around the house, but his mom would just chase him away, telling him to stay in his room and keep the foot elevated. While he knew she meant well, he was starting to get a bit restless. He did reach out to a few old friends who came over and made the trip back much more enjoyable. He thought about contacting Jungkook a few times, wishing him a happy Seollal perhaps, but always chickened out in the end.
He should not have been too surprised when his mom came to his room letting him know that Jungkook was in their living room. One of his friends from his old studio had visited a couple of days ago and knew that it would not take long for Jungkook to find out.
Jungkook’s dark hair was longer than it had been back in the summer. He was also wearing baggy pants and a slightly oversized jacket, just as Jimin remembered him. He was sitting down very still on the old couch, holding a paper bag. Jungkook had not noticed him yet, so he allowed himself to watch him for a little longer before loudly announcing himself. The minute he saw Jimin, Jungkook got up from the couch so quickly. “Very cute” Jimin thought to himself.
“Jungkook-ah! I was not expecting to see you today. How have you been?” Jimin greeted him with a quick bow.
“I heard from someone in the dance studio that you were back in town…so I wanted to stop by and see how you were doing.” Jungkook said.
Jimin could not help but laugh at the younger boy “Why didn’t you call me to let me know you were coming?”
“I wanted to see you in person.” Jungkook looked a bit sheepish. “Sorry, I should have called instead.”
Jimin felt a little guilty and rushed to say “Oh, it’s ok! It’s not like I can really go places with this ankle.” Jimin dramatically pointed at his left ankle. “It’s good to see you again!”
“Here, I brought you some hotteok from your favorite stand.” Jungkook said as he handed Jimin the brown paper bag he had been holding. “It may not be as warm as you like it, but it should still taste good.”
Jimin’s chest swelled up and his heart started to ache at the gesture. This was typical Jungkook behavior. Just bring little thoughtful gifts to others. Jimin was fighting the overwhelming feeling of rushing towards his ex-boyfriend’s arms and plant the biggest kiss on his lips. He really needed to get it together though. There was no way Jungkook meant this to be a romantic gesture in any way.
“I thought you would be back for Christmas.” Jungkook awkwardly changed the focus away from the hotteok. “I was looking forward to catching up with you hyung”
“We were a bit busy at the studio. Lots of classes to focus on.” Jimin said a little too fast.
Jungkook looked back at his hyung a slight smirk forming on his lips “Oh yeah? Even when the studio closes for the holidays? It seems they are overworking you in Seoul”
Jimin just laughed at Jungkook’s cheekiness. While he was always very kind and attentive, he could also be quite bratty at times. But that was one of the many things Jimin loved about him.
Their conversation kept going for a few hours after that. Jimin’s mom even invited Jungkook to stay for dinner but the younger one had to decline as he needed to head back home. He left promising Jimin he would call the next day.
~~~~~
Jungkook kept his promise and called or visited Jimin every day. As Jimin’s ankle started healing, Jungkook started taking Jimin around to visit the local beaches. They would often grab a hot beverage and sit there and talk for hours. It was almost as if no time had passed since the last time they saw each other. On days that it would be too cold to stay out for more than a few minutes, they would head out to the movie theater or a local café and spend their time there. Jimin was starting to get a little too used to having Jungkook around this much. This would only make it harder for him to move on once it was time to head back to Seoul in just a few more days. But he wanted to be selfish and hold onto this time together as much as possible. Jungkook had not really shown an interest in Jimin outside of friendship, and Jimin had kept it as platonic as possible but it was getting harder and harder having to control the urge to reach out for Jungkook’s hand and squeeze it tight.
~~~~~
Before Jimin knew it, Valentine’s Day had arrived and somehow Jungkook convinced him to go on a walk with him at their old favorite spot in Amnam park. Jimin wanted to be cheeky and ask if another girl had gifted Jungkook with a box of chocolates, but he refrained from doing so. The last thing he needed to do was act like a jealous boyfriend to someone who most likely was no longer interested in him in a romantic way.
Walking around seemed to be helping the sprain in his ankle. Jimin had visited another doctor while in Busan, who suggested walking short distances in order to help heal the ankle. Jimin and Jungkook guessed that in a week or so he could start dancing again.
“Will you be too busy again to keep in touch with old friends?” Jungkook asked him as they were both hanging out by the walkway by the cliff side. “Will I hear back from you in a few months?” Although Jungkook’s tone was playful and lighthearted, Jimin knew him well enough to know he was also serious and wanted him to stay in touch.
“I will keep in touch better this time around Kook.” Jimin promised. There really was no reason to communicate better and keep in touch with Jungkook.
“And will you take another eight months to visit Busan again?” Jungkook asked with a soft voice. “It would be nice to hang out with you more often. It was nice doing a lot of things these past few days, just like old times, and I wish we could do that more often”
Jimin started getting a bit flustered. What exactly did he mean by that? Just like old times? Surely Jungkook was just being polite, and there was no way he meant it any other way.
“Why did you not reach out to me before?” Jungkook pressed, startling Jimin out of his thoughts.
“I was bu…” Jimin stopped himself. They both knew Jimin being busy in Seoul was not the real reason why he stopped responding to Jungkook’s messages. “I am sorry. I just felt it was for the better.”
Jungkook turned to face Jimin. “Better for who? I wanted to know what was happening with you!”
“I just felt bad I was relying too much on you when we were no longer together. Did not feel it was fair to you and I needed to stop being selfish.” Jimin answered as calmly as possible, even if he felt going dizzy. Why was he so nervous for?
“Well, I wish you had continued to rely on me. Maybe I was selfish too, but I wanted to be there for you”. Jungkook answered back. Jimin started shifting around, unable to meet Jungkook’s gaze.
“I did wonder if you missed me these past few months.” Jungkook added. “I wondered if you felt the same way I did.” The younger man moved closer to Jimin, trapping him between the barrier and his body. “The way I still feel for you.”
Jimin did not know what to say. It was not an exaggeration to say that he had missed Jungkook like crazy. He never stopped thinking about those doe-eyes or the way his nose would crinkle when he laughed. Jimin missed the way their hands interlocked and the warmth in his chest every time Jungkook would hold him tight in his arms. He missed all of that but he did not want to admit it to the younger boy, because admitting to it would be admitting how foolish it was to have walked away from one another.
Silence just settled between them as they both stared at the sea from the metal walkway. Jimin could tell Jungkook was getting restless at the lack of response from the elder one. Jungkook cleared his throat and tried to laugh the situation off.
“I did.” Jimin rushed to say before Jungkook could take his words back. He looked directly into Jungkook’s eyes. “I missed you…us so very much and I am so sorry for being a fool and not reaching out sooner”.
“Hyung…” Jungkook said in a whisper.
“I got a bit jealous when you mentioned the get together with everyone from the studio. I felt as if you had already moved on from us, moved on from me, and I know it is silly to think that considering I was the one who left you behind. But I did not want to see you moving on so fast and placing me on the sideline. So I stopped answering your texts.”
“Hyung…”
“I feel like a fool. Because this entire time I thought it was best for us to move on from one another, even if I was unable to do so.” Jimin started speaking at a much faster speed, unable to look at Jungkook in the eyes anymore. “And I wish we could start again somehow. That we could see each other more often and that we could always be together like this….”
“Hyung…”
“Right now is a bit of a busy time in Seoul, but once Summer comes, my schedule will be more flexible. I should make more of an effort to come to Busan more often. Maybe you could also come to Seoul…”
“Hyung!”
Jimin looked up and was met with a pair of intense eyes staring back at him. A far cry from the softer look Jungkook usually had. Jimin could not help but get lost under this gaze.
“I have not moved on. Why do you think I have been spending so much time with you these past couple of weeks?” Jungkook whispered as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Jimin’s while holding him by the waist. “I was so desperate to spend every waking moment with you. I don’t want to move on. I want you.”
They remained like this for what felt like an eternity. Both were too afraid to move and break the peace that surrounded them. Eventually Jungkook started to separate his forehead just enough to allow him to lower his lips towards Jimin’s. But right before they kissed Jungkook pulled back and started searching for something in his jacket. Jimin let out a frustrated groan. The younger man smiled playfully as he pulled out a piece of chocolate and rushed to unwrap it and eat it.
“I was hoping this would come in handy. Been keeping it with me since I went to your parents’ house to say hi.” was all Jungkook cheekily said as he started chewing on the piece of candy.
“Jeon Jungkook! Did you seriously have a piece of chocolate hidden in your jacket this entire time?” Jimin asked while laughing. “I seriously cannot believe you. You don’t play fair!” Jimin shrieked as he lightly hit Jungkook’s chest.
“I do not intent on playing fair when it comes to you Park Jimin” Jungkook said in a lower and raspier voice before claiming Jimin’s lips with his own. The kiss was slow, gentle, and very deep. It carried a pent-up hunger from all the months they spent apart. They kissed for what felt like an eternity, eventually transitioning into gentler pecks.
“Happy Valentine’s Day hyung” the younger boy whispered as he buried his nose on Jimin’s neck. “It is good to have you back.” Jimin understood Jungkook was not only talking about being back home in Busan. It was good to be back in the arms of his love.
“Happy Valentine’s Day Jungkook” Jimin repeated as he gently nuzzled Jungkook’s face with his cheek. “It is good to be back”
Yes. It was good to be home.