Work Text:
If you asked Techno when was the specific moment they knew, they probably wouldn't be able to give you an answer. The truth is there was no big moment.
There also wasn't a big coming out. They didn't plan it, but it's how it ended up happening, and they weren't complaining, so they just… kept the game going. Phil eventually catched on to what was going on. Wilbur realized pretty quickly too, and even if Tommy took a little longer Techno didn't particularly care.
It all started with a bottle of deodorant. Well, you could argue that technically it started with that weird awful feeling they sometimes got when they had to change for PE, or when a different weird but this time pretty much not awful feeling raised in their chest when they saw themself with long pink hair for the first time. But those were that; technicalities. The first time Techno consciously and willingly decided to figure out what the fuck was happening in their head, it was all about that deodorant bottle.
The plan hadn't been complex at all. They just… bought a bottle of women's deodorant. They weren't expecting much from it, really. But yep- there it was. The same feeling they'd felt in that hair salon a couple months ago. The same feeling they got when some old lady confused them for a girl at the store because of the hair. Something in that women's deodorant bottle was making the chemicals in their head happy and Techno wasn't exactly sure what it meant, but they weren't complaining.
So they left the flower scented thing in their drawer of the bathroom. Techno guesses they could've done a better job at hiding it if they wanted. But what was the worst thing that could happen anyways? Phil hadn't even hesitated or looked weird at Techno when they'd asked for pink hair. He probably wouldn't mind.
Later that week, when they opened the drawer they found out Phil had bought two bottles of their usual deodorant in his monthly purchase, but there were also two of the same women's deodorant they'd left there and was almost running out.
After that, Phil just stopped buying the old one.
- - - - - - - -
After a while, Techno started being more direct.
"Phil, do you know how to paint nails?" They asked, entering the kitchen. Techno knew Tommy and Wilbur weren't in the house. They would love to say that'd been pure coincidence, but…
Techno just didn't want to risk any of their brothers asking a question not even they had the answer to, and Tommy was like, the most insensitive person when it came to this stuff. Not that he'd judge Techno! They just didn't want to deal with them right now.
"Because you have this bottle of nail polish in your drawer of the bathroom. Can you help me?"
Phil looked up from where he was refilling one of the water bottles of the fridge.
"Oh, it's Kristin's. She might've forgotten it the last time she spent the night."
Techno's face probably showed the intense disappointment they were feeling, because Phil added.
"Awh, sorry mate. But we can figure it out. Can't be that hard. Still want help?"
Techno smiled. "Yeah! Niki gave me this!" They put a bottle of pink nail polish above the kitchen table. "She said I could keep it 'cause she doesn't use it anymore."
Phil sat down next to Techno and picked it up. "That's very nice of her."
They spent the rest of the afternoon trying to not make a big mess and to not die of intoxication with the deadly smell. It wasn’t perfect, and most of Techno’s fingers were stained. It looked amazing in their opinion.
That night Will and Tommy didn't come back, Wilbur was at a party and Tommy staying at Tubbo's. So Techno watched Phil make dinner as they waited for the nail polish to dry.
The next morning, when they went downstairs for breakfast they found a sleepy Wilbur and an over energetic Tommy. The pink was gone from their nails, but Phil didn't mention it.
- - - - - -
A lot of foster kids had… complicated relationships with their birthdays. Techno got it. Stuff like a party or gifts would be a given for most children but, being in the system complicated the things a little.
Techno knew Wilbur didn't particularly enjoy his birthday, he preferred doing something small with his family; buying pizza and watching a movie or going to McDonald's. Something that could pass as an everyday activity.
Tommy had forbidden everyone from telling him "happy birthday" when his first birthday with Phil, Will and Techno was approaching. It wasn't until three years later, when he turned twelve that he asked for a cake. Without a candle. But he asked for it, so Phil was happy anyways. It became tradition to not sing happy birthday on Tommy's birthday and a lot of people probably wouldn't understand it, but it worked for them. It worked for Tommy, which was the most important part really.
Techno didn't really care. They didn't make a big deal out of it, but they also didn't mind celebrating. Phil would make them a special breakfast, and after school the family of four would spend some time together, maybe go to a nice restaurant.
At least that's what they'd been doing today. At lunch, Ranboo and Niki gave them a few books they'd mentioned wanting to read. Tommy and Wilbur had forced their entire table to sing happy birthday full volume, and Techno wanted to die right there, but the day had been good.
Phil took them all to a place that specialized in pasta, even if Tommy was whining because he doesn't like pasta, and Techno felt so loved. Wich might've been stupid, but the fact that Phil took the time to find a place that had their favorite food…
When they got back home Wilbur sang a song for them that definitely didn't make them (and Phil) tear up. Tommy gave them afucking signed edition of the house of hades and- oh god it was signed! Phil gave them the second monitor they'd been wanting for fucking ages but never actually asked for because they still had trouble asking for things. And a polar bear plushie they'd never admit to loving.
They all watched Avatar with them and when Tommy fell asleep, lying half on top of Wilbur, Phil called it a night.
It had been a great day. Techno was just about to get into bed and take a quick look at the book Ranboo gave them, when someone knocked on the door.
Techno had kinda assumed the day was over, so a little surprised, they murmured: "yeah?"
"Can I come in?" It was Phil.
"Sure."
When Phil opened the door he was wearing his pajamas and had a cardboard box in his hands.
"Hey mate. Did you have fun today?" He asked, smiling as he sat next to them.
"Yeah. Dream baked me cookies and we ate them after school. Also Ranboo gave me the book I told you about Norse mythology I really wanted and Niki pride and prejudice."
"That sounds nice." And Phil was right. It actually was nice. Techno felt warmth inside of them thinking about all the people they'd managed to get so close to after so many years.
Phil's smile turned soft.
"I have one last gift for you" he hesitated, only for a second and gave Techno the box. "Kristin helped me pick the stuff so it would be good brands, I was a little lost when I first went alone- I hope you don't mind me asking for her help. If you don't want it- I can give it to her or maybe you can give it to Niki or something-? Well, I thought you'd like it, but it's okay if I was wrong." Phil seemed like he wanted to say something else for a second, but decided against it.
Techno glanced at the box and then at Phil, just slightly nervous. He opened it and was met with a bunch of little tubes and boxes. They took the first thing their hand found and learned it was a concealer. There was a foundation, a lipgloss, a mascara, two eyeliners, and a small pallet with a couple eyeshadows and blushes.
Techno stared at the box in their lap for just a second too long.
"Do you like it?" Phil asked after a while, and Techno jumped slightly. They'd forgotten Phil was still there.
"I don't know how to put these on." They said, instead of answering the question.
"Oh, right!" Phil's eyebrows raised slightly and his eyes immediately softened, that way they did when he was being disgustingly adorable with Kristin. "She also said she could help you figure it out if you wanted. Uh, Kristin I mean. But if you weren't comfortable asking her, that you should search for tutorials on YouTube. She told me that's how she learned."
Just for a moment, Techno's mind was filled with pictures of themself with a soft, barely noticeable blush and a winged eyeliner. And something inside of them must've fucking broke because they shivered.
"I love you." Techno hid their face in Phil's chest. If he was surprised by the sudden affection, he didn't show it.
"Love you too, mate."
- - - - -
Tommy was whining again.
Wilbur was trying to get him to pick more than just ugly fourteen-year-old-boy-t-shirts, and wasn't succeeding. He was insistent that "no brother of mine will have such a horrible sense of fashion" and had dragged him all over to the jeans part of the store they were at.
Tommy was complaining about not wanting to wear baggy trousers because he was so British it hurt, when Phil approached Techno with that fond and exasperated look, he held a hoodie he was probably going to try on and a formal shirt.
Techno wrinkled up their nose.
"Why do you have that shirt?" Phil wheezed.
"Some of us have jobs, y'know?"
"God, you're so old Phil" Techno teased.
"Fucking child" he murmured, messing up tehir hair with his free hand. "Do you not want anything?" He then asked, noticing Techno's empty hands.
They hesitated, and their sight went straight to the women's section, all across the room. Phil grinned, and Techno immediately regretted all of their life choices. Before they could stop him, Phil had rushed them to the women's section.
Techno couldn't help but blush. Tommy and Wilbur would probably be too busy in a changing room, fighting about sweatshirts and jeans, but… they were still in public. And even if they didn't exactly care that much, would someone be looking weird at them?
"What were we thinking about?" Phil asked. And Techno didn't know if they should tell the truth. There definitely was stuff in this section of the store that could pass as completely unisex. Some t-shirts with nasa logos and a couple hoodies.
They knew it would probably feel just as good. Knowing they came from the women's section.
But…
"A skirt?"
Phil examined the place, and smiled when he spotted a rack with multiple skirts on it.
That's how Techno found themselves in a changing room, wearing a pink tennis skirt with their usual black converse and oversized black t-shirt. But the thing is, with the hair, the skirt, and maybe even the floral scent of their deodorant… they didn't look like a boy.
God, they wish they had the make up Phil had gotten them here.
There was a soft knock on the door.
"Does it fit mate? If you want I can find another size!"
Techno couldn't help the little jump of excitement. They just looked so good!
"It fits! Uh, you can come in if you want to see."
Phil's head took a quick glance inside of the changing room and then closed the door behind him. It was a big room, they both fitted there perfectly fine.
"I really like it! Looks nice. Do you like it?" Phil asked, he sounded just as excited as Techno was.
"Yeah! I really like it. Can we buy it?"
"Of course, kid."
Techno stared at their reflection. They were both in silence for a couple seconds.
"Dad?" They said, distracted by watching how the fabric of the skirt folded over and over again.
"Yeah?"
"I don't think I'm a boy." They said, frowning, like the idea of them being a boy was stupid. Their eyes found Phil's in the mirror. He was smiling.
"Yeah, I figured. That's okay, " he assured softly. "Do you think you're a girl?"
The frown deepened.
"Maybe? I don't think so."
"Well maybe you're neither. But it's okay if you don't know, tho."
"I- Yeah… I dont think I'm either."
"Okay. That's nice." There was a small silence. "Do you want me to call you something different?"
"I like they and them pronouns. I'm not… sure if they fit me… but I'd like to try them." Phil nodded. "I still like Techno," they continued. Phil nodded again. They looked at themself again in the mirror, and they couldn't help but think 'wow. I really don't look like a boy'. "But I'm not a boy."
"That's okay. I believe you."
"Oh… I don't think I want to be your son either. Or Will's and Tommy's brother."
Phil, just as this entire conversation had been going on, didn't seem affected by Techno's comment.
"Okay. Do you think you know what you want to be?" Techno wasn't expecting that.
"What do you mean?"
"Are you my daughter? My kid? child? Do you want to be Wilbur's and Tommy's sibling? Sister?"
Techno… didn't know what to say. Something did… something in their stomach when Phil said 'my daughter' and oh god they should've had this conversation ages ago. But Techno conforms with having it now. In a changing room.
"It's okay if you don't know, or are not sure."
"I think I want to be your daughter. Can I?"
Phil must've gotten tired of looking at the mirror, because suddenly he turned to look at Techno.
"Of course you can. You are my daughter."
"Oh.."
Techno didn't want to cry. They weren't going to.
"I'm still not a girl."
"You can be my daughter and not be a girl."
"Oh…"
Phil laughed and grabbed Techno's arm to pull them to a hug.
"Proud of you, yeah? I love you."
When Phil said I love you, especially to Techno, he didn't usually expect it back. It wasn't that Techno didn't love Phil, but he knew they had a hard time expressing their feelings with words. And yet, in that moment, in that changing room, and wearing a skirt that made them feel like they were in heaven- well, it came naturally.
"I love you too."
- - - - -
Techno kept wearing the skirt. And the nail polish. And they spent four hours watching tutorials so they knew what color they were supposed to use where in their face with Phil's gifted pallet.
They knew Tommy and Wilbur had noticed. But neither of them mentioned it, so Techno didn't either.
The only thing they hadn't dared to wear in public (Phil was the only person excluded from 'the public') was the skirt. Which was kinda sad, the skirt was their favorite. There had been only one exception; Tommy and Wilbur weren't at the house again (really that was a rather common occurrence) but this time Kristin just happened to be staying over. When Techno was about to enter the living room, they only hesitated a second, and said a mental 'fuck it'. Kristin was the fucking best anyways, so of course she didn't even mention it.
The thing with the skirt was, it was the most noticeable and less concealable thing ever. They didn't want to look like a boy in a skirt, and they didn't want to see people thinking they were a boy in a skirt.
But today they were going out for dinner, the four of them. For no particular reason, Phil had just decided they'd go to one of their favorite restaurants. And they were decided to feel pretty as fuck. They combined all of the few items they had started referring to as "trans gear" in their mind and looked at the mirror.
Yep. They definitely looked pretty. Not handsome. Not good. Pretty.
Phil called for them, and they made the decision of ignoring the skirt. If Tommy or Wilbur mentioned it, they would acknowledge it, if they didn't, neither would Techno.
When they entered the living room, Tommy and Phil were already there. Phil only smiled, and Tommy was clearly looking at their legs, which they tried to not feel uncomfortable with.
They turned right when Wilbur was approaching the room. There was a millisecond where Wilbur paused, looked at the skirt, looked at Techno's eyes and raised an eyebrow.
He didn't seem surprised, more like… amused? Techno would've hated it, it kinda felt like Wilbur was making fun of them. Like the idea of Techno in a skirt was ridiculous, or funny.
But when he smiled and said a casual "like your outfit" Techno found a surprising honesty behind, so it didn't really bother them so much.
They eventually got in the car, and after Tommy took way too long to decide what he wanted to eat, the four of them were making light conversation as they ate.
Techno stole one of Wilbur's fries. Phil and Tommy were too busy in what sounded like a conversation about animal crossing.
"Hey, man, fuck you." Wilbur stated, dropping his fork. He wasn't actually mad, he'd just stolen one of Techno's ravioli without asking. Techno flinched. Wilbur raised an eyebrow again. Phil and Tommy were still not paying attention. "You're not a man, are you?" Wilbur asked eventually, low enough.
Techno nervously rubbed their neck.
"Well. No. Not really." They smiled unsure.
Wilbur nodded. "Okay, uh basic info?" Techno laughed.
"They/them. Still Techno. Not a boy or a girl. Sister and sibling are cool." Wilbur nodded again, completely serious.
"Okay, then. Person. Fuck off. I'll proceed to steal a ravioli as payment for that frie."
- - - - -
Techno was debating if they should just throw their book out of the window just because it was so bad when someone knocked.
Happy to have an excuse to put it down, they shouted 'come in' without even asking who it was.
Tommy opened the door and didn't ask before sitting at the bed.
"Hello, bitch."
"Well, hello to you too my dear brother. Thanks for asking, yeah I'm doing great. Oh! Sure you can enter-" Tommy threw a pillow at their face.
When it fell, Techno was about to say something else (probably a sarcastic and poorly made insult) when Tommy opened his mouth.
"Eret, you know? Tubbo 's older brother?" Techno was actually not… expecting that? But Tommy was apparently waiting for an answer, so they nodded.
"Uh. Yeah, I met him at Tubbo 's birthday. Niki also talks about him all the time." Tommy nodded.
"Yeah, they recently came out as non binary."
Techno raised an eyebrow.
"Oh?"
"Yep. They use like, aaaall pronouns which is cool as fuck. Except for it and it's, he said not to use those." Techno nodded.
"Oh, well. Uh. That 's cool? I'm happy for her?"
Tommy nodded, and looked expectantly at Techno.
They stared back, for a couple minutes until it became too much to handle.
"Okay! Fine! You win! I'm also non binary. They/them. Still Techno. Feminine and neutral terms are fine." They repeated almost exactly the same words they'd told Wilbur a couple days ago.
"Thank you! Now I can insult you with your correct pronouns! Fuck you bitch." He said, and stood, decided to leave the room, but just when he was grabbing the door's handle, he turned. "Oh! Wait, actually. Do you have any nail polish that isn't fucking pink? Can you paint my nails tomorrow?"
Techno frowned.
"Oh. Yeah of course. I didn't think you'd be the type to paint his nails."
Tommy shuddered.
"I'm not. An asshole in my class made fun of you because he saw you with your nails painted the other day, so Ranboo, Tubbo and I are going with our nails painted next Monday." Techno didn't have time to process those words before Tommy said: "You're still a bitch tho."