Chapter Text
Standing right outside of the front gates of Hammerlocke, Bede took a final sip of his pecha berry flavored drink before crushing up the plastic bottle and throwing it into a nearby recycling bin. It was about noon, and the sun was covered by the clouds, the sky bright but gray.
His Hatterne was lazily running their claws through the grass, examining the flowers. Gloria and her twin brother, Victor, were nearby, arguing about whether Melody could take on some water type trainer from Kanto- the exact subject was unclear. Marnie was there as well, holding Morpeko in her arms as she silently stared off at a Purrloin crossing the streets of the city; the pokemon stopping to jump onto the highest water fountain and taking a drink.
“Misty would totally win. Melody’s tough, but Misty has Gyarados.”
“Are you daft? Melody is way older, and way more experienced than Misty. She would totally win.”
“Can you guys PLEASE knock it off?” Bede jeered at them, burying his hands into his pockets. “Hop’s already on his way here- we don’t need any more pointless jabbering.” The twins turned to glare at him. Gloria cleared her throat.
“First of all, this is very important, and I’m totally right about Melody winning.” Victor stuck his tongue out at her. “Secondly, you should really try being nicer to Hop, you know. I won’t tolerate you disrespecting him like that.” Victor nodded.
“She’s right! About, uh, some things. But especially about Hop. I thought you guys were buddies by now. I mean, the championship has been over for about a year- I thought you had gotten over your petty rivalry.” Bede awkwardly pulled his coat up to cover his mouth, trying to brush off the twinge of embarrassment he felt at being reminded of his past actions.
“It wasn’t petty,” He mumbled. “He just thinks he’s better than everyone.”
“Look who’s talking.” Victor scoffed, elbowing his sister. She snickered. Marnie finally looked up from the wall she was leaning against, taking a moment to soothingly pet Morpeko’s head.
“Think of it this way, Bede.” She piped up. “What would your life be like without him?”
“Stress-free,” Bede snorted. “Not my fault he’s an insufferable cunt at times.”
At the hostile comment, his Hatterne shot him an angry glare before going back to their grazing. The others just sighed, giving up on telling off Bede. They knew Bede enjoyed Hop’s company- he was just too stubborn to admit it.
Speaking of Hop, about five minutes later, he finally arrived. Walking at a medium pace, his eyes perked up when he saw his friends. Following behind him was his Dubwool, stopping every once in a while to eat some grass.
“Hey guys! What’s up?” Hop said, grinning at them. Everyone looked at each other and shrugged.
“You tell us.” Victor commented.
“You invited us, Hop.” spoke Marnie.
“I did, didn’t I?” Hop scratched the back of his head, putting his other hand in his pocket. “Well, I just wanted to have a great day out with my friends! I’ve been in such a great mood recently, thought I would show you guys how much I appreciate you.”
“How nice of you,” Bede remarked. “Well then. What are we doing genius?” Gloria glared at him, striding over to pinch his ear. Bede squeaked in protest, pushing her away. Hop chuckled at this action.
“I thought maybe we would go see the battle in the stadium today! Then, I was thinking we would make dinner and sleep under the stars!”
“Sounds lovely.” Victor nodded. “What tournament is going on this week again?” Hop dug around in his bag, before pulling out five slightly crumpled tickets.
“There’s a team battle tournament going on, to raise money for the Budew Charity. I heard that even Milo is participating!” Gloria clasped her hands together, rushing forward to put her arm around Hop.
“So fun!” Peeking over at a ticket, she gasped. “Ooo, you got us really good seats! Second row!” Marnie’s eyes widened, and Morpeko looked back at her in astonishment. At this point, sensing the excitement, Hatterne drifted over to see what was going on.
“You didn’t have to get those tickets for us, Hop! They’re pretty expensive.” Gloria wrapped her arms around Hop’s neck, excitement and guilt showing in her expression.
“Don’t feel bad, Gloria. Surely his brother got them for him.” Bede held his nose up high and walked over to peek at the tickets, standing in front of Hop, facing him. He took his right hand out of his pocket, wrist watch glinting in the light, and ran his fingers over the edge of the tickets. Flipping them as he went with his thumb, as disgusting as the stains and crumbles on them were, he was pleasantly surprised to see that they were, in fact, second row seats.
Hop frowned, burrowing his brow. His cheeks were a dusty shade of red.
“Actually, I got them myself. Leon didn’t help whatsoever, mind you.”
“Oh, lucky me.” Bede jeered, although truthfully he was very grateful to Hop. The only sign of this gratitude was the way he leaned forward to shoulder check the other boy, before walking straight behind him. He stopped as he was right next to Dubwool, who gave him a look of sorts.
Looking over his shoulder, Bede saw Hop’s fist tighten around the tickets a bit, before he relaxed and sighed.
“The battles are in about half an hour; may I treat you guys to cheap stadium food until then?” Cheers erupted from the twins, and even Marnie nodded eagerly.
-
Although they were very excited to get salty popcorn and sugary drinks, the group tried to plead with Hop that they could buy their own meals. Having none of it, however, Hop argued with them about it until people began to stare. Embarrassed, it didn’t take long for them all to give in.
When they finally found their seats, they gasped at their proximity to the field. Since the first row was mostly for the competitors' friends and family, plus various sponsors, the second row was indeed the best seats they could get. Taking a shy bite out of her strawberry ice cream, Marnie pointed at one of the trainers on the field, with a Delcatty at their side.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen one in person!” She murmured excitedly to Gloria, who laughed and leaned against her.
Bede was preoccupied with watching an Alolan Raichu run laps around the edge of the field, its trainer chasing after it, but not able to keep up the pace. As the pokemon passed them, and went to Bede’s right, he caught a glimpse of Hop in the corner of his eye. He was rubbing his eyes with his hands, and when he pulled them away Bede noticed the very large eyebags he was hosting. As if he felt someone looking at him, Hop turned slightly, and Bede flinched away, face heating up. Bede simply grabbed a chip from his snack bag, and popped one in his mouth.
Eventually the match started- right after there was a speech giving thanks to the volunteers battling today. Gloria was right; Milo was there, and as he walked into center field he waved to the twins eagerly.
Although the battles weren’t very high paced, being composed mostly of people with average pokemon, the matchups were interesting. The Delcatty went up against a Machoke, somehow scraping out a victory due to its speed. The Alolan Raichu, however, was not as fortunate, as the Zoroark it went up against had some pretty good hard hitting moves.
When it was finally Milo’s turn to battle, his Bellossom had to go up against a middle aged man’s Flareon. Despite the type advantage, Bellossom won in the end, making Milo the winner. He was supposed to receive a coupon for a free lunch at a local restaurant, but since he refused to take it, the other man got it.
“I originally caught Eevee as a companion pokemon, intending for him to evolve into Espeon to be nice, calm company.” The man said. “But, I was pleasantly surprised when he brought me to a fire stone. Now he’s good company for the winters!” Laughter erupted from the crowd, clapping echoing around the stadium.
After the victory speech was over, and the cheering died out, people in the stands got up to leave. The teens also began to pack up their things. The now empty bags and cups were gathered up and thrown out in the big trash cans by the entrance. Victor and Marnie were excitedly chatting about the battles, the latter holding onto Gloria’s arm as she walked. Looking around for Hop, Bede saw that he was trudging a bit behind him and the others. Dragging his feet and looking at the ground, Hop smiled when he felt Bede look at him.
“Like the match?” He asked. Bede slowed down a bit, and taking the cue, Hop sped up to match his speed.
“It was alright, I guess.” Bede ran his fingers through his hair, sticking his nose up high. “Although, it would have been far more interesting if I was competing. Their loss.” Hop snickered, bringing his hand up to wipe his lips.
“Ah, Bede!” Hop suddenly grabbed the white haired boy's coat, looking him in the eyes. His eyes were reflective, and they shone with an emotion Bede could not recognize. “You’re a really great friend, you know?” Bede felt his face heating up, reaching the hand on his free arm up to hide his face. Turning away, although still grasping Hop’s hand, Bede angrily grumbled.
“We… aren’t friends.” Then, in a voice so quiet it must have qualified as a whisper.
“I know.” The sad tone made Bede whip his head around in surprise, but before he could look Hop in the eyes, the other boy had already darted up ahead, flinging his arms around the others from behind. Although surprised, they quickly returned the gesture, turning around to grab him and squeeze him tight. Laughter erupted from the group, and although a few passerby grumbled in annoyance, most looked at them fondly.
I must have just imagined it. Bede thought, shaking his head. He’s fine. There isn’t anything wrong, nor is today unusual in any way.
That's what he told himself, but any expression on his face that may have betrayed him was wiped off his face as he came out of the stadium, the light bright and hot on his face.
-
The walk back to the wild area was short, and it felt even shorter to Bede, who had taken to staring at the back of Hop’s head.
Emotions were so foreign to him, he wasn’t sure what the soft aches in his heart were. Raised by Rose, the only emotion he felt was success; the only time he felt content was when he was succeeding, when others were below him.
He didn’t know why he felt this- why he felt the urge to reach out and put his hand on his shoulder, to tell him he didn’t mean it, that they were friends.
But he was Bede; so he didn’t do that. He couldn’t do that.
At some point, they all began to take out their pokemon, and they began setting up camp near Rolling Fields. They hadn’t brought all their pokemon with them, as it was a simple day trip, but Hop was especially lacking; his only companion being Dubwool. While Marnie’s Croagunk chased after Victor’s Togedemaru, which was growing more and more agitated by the minute, Gloria’s Arcanine curled up in the shade and fell asleep. Eventually, Bede’s Sylveon curled next to its large fluffy tail, also falling asleep. The pokemon played cheerfully for a while, before Hop decided to start cooking dinner, clapping his hands and standing up.
The sun was about an hour or two away from setting, and the teenagers laughed and cheered as they recounted stories from their life as of lately.
“A Theivul belonging to one of the gym grunts laid an egg,” spoke Marnie. “And when it hatched, it was shiny! So cute, too. Nickit’s tails are super soft!” Every nodded, Gloria sighing happily at the idea of a newborn Nickit kit. Hop was occupied with stirring a curry pot over the fire that Gloria’s Cinderace had lit.
Throwing pasta and tamato berries into the pot, and stirring so quickly that curry splashed out (a stray drop hitting Morpeko, who squealed angrily), Hop was finally finished, slapping plates proudly in front of his friends, who all ate hungrily.
While they ate, Hop set out the bowls for the pokemon, and gave them their serving as well. Eventually, there was nothing left in the pot. While Bede was more composed than the others, he was still hungry, and ate with quick yet graceful bites. Eventually, there was only about a quarter of curry left in the bowl. The twins and Marnie were too preoccupied with eating (or in Marnie’s case, protecting her food from a very much still hungry Arcanine) to notice, but Bede spotted Hop just sitting off to the side, no plate in hand. Clearing his throat, which was burning because of the spice, he spoke up.
“Didn’t leave enough for yourself? Typical miscalculation.” Bede stood up from the log he sat on, and took quick steps to practically throw the food next to where Hop was sitting. “Luckily for you, I’m full.” Hop looked at him softly, but shook his head and went back to looking at his shoes.
“I’m fine. But thanks.” Bede frowned, and watched in frustration as Hop clicked his tongue and called over Arcanine, who gladly licked up the remnants of the bowl. Stomping away towards the others, Bede noticed that Marnie had looked up and was gazing in confusion at Hop. Bede swung his head around to see Hop rifling through his bag, pulling out some things and sorting them into an unusual pile on the ground, the items mostly being potions and evolution stones he had. Bede met Marnie’s eyes again, and just raised his brow at her, making a motion with his hands. She simply looked back at the floor, but he could tell she understood him.
When it was getting close to bedtime, and everyone was all tired out from the long day, Hop dramatically stood up and yawned, stretching his arms out in front of him.
“Well, I’m beat. Goodnight guys!” Hop kneeled down next to Gloria, who was laying down on the grass, and pulled her in for a tight hug. She hugged back enthusiastically, burying her face in the fluffy rim of his coat. When they let go, he then approached Victor, who was also laying down, this time with his head next to a content Croagunk. Anticipating the hug, the brunette boy was already up.
“You all are the best, you know that?” Victor laughed, patting Hop’s back before letting go. Then, Hop walked over to Marnie’s spot by the fire with Dubwool. Leaning down to hug her, she leaned into his embrace. As she was facing Bede, she gave him a sort of expression before closing her eyes and resting her hands on his arms. Hop pulled away, and quickly reached down to kiss Dubwool, who responded with a sleepy, happy bleat.
“I’m so lucky to have found you all.” Hop stood up, turning to meet Bede’s gaze, eyes only illuminated by the pale glow of the fire. Silently, he walked towards Bede, a dull smile on his face.
Bede flinched, somehow disgusted by the idea of taking the hug. He couldn’t- it meant something, and he couldn’t. Hop came closer, standing right before him. Bede blinked, and as Hop raised his arms, he felt the need to say something.
Admittedly, he meant to ask “What’s up?” or maybe even “What are you doing?” But what came out wasn't exactly pleasant.
“What’s wrong with you?”
At these words, Hop stepped back, eyes widening. Bede’s heart pounded in his chest, his vision bending due to the smoke from the fire. But he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Hop. The others had turned at the comment, all staring at the two boys in shock. For a minute or two, everything was silent, even the wild pokemon nearby not seeming to make a noise for fear of disrupting the moment.
“E-excuse me?” Hop finally found his voice, which cracked as he spoke those words.
“You’ve been acting off all day, Hop. Why are you acting so strange?” Bede said, no, demanded in a firm tone. Hop stared for a moment, before laughing.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, mate.” He clasped his right hand over his chest.
“I can’t explain it- but todays… not right.” Suddenly realizing he couldn’t explain the odd feeling he had, he turned his head frantically before landing his gaze upon Marnie. “Marnie! You’ve noticed, haven’t you?” The black haired girl shook her head, mouthing at him to stop.
“Marnie? Seriously?” Hop angrily kicked his boot into the dirt, getting some onto Bede’s pristine shoes. “I take my friends out for some fun and you guys- you conspire about me behind my back?”
“We aren’t conspiring!” Bede argued back, “We just- we just feel-“
“There’s no ‘we’ damn it! This is about you, Bede!” said Hop, snapping angrily. “This is about you, thinking there’s something wrong with me!”
“I just want to help, Hop!-“
“Bullshit!” Tears ran down Hop’s cheeks now, his expression now an angry grimace. “All you want to do is to prove that you have some sort of superiority over me! That you’re better than me! That I’m useless! Well fine!” Hop ran towards his sleeping bag, slinging his backpack, which was right next to it, over his shoulder before looking back.
“Fine! You win!” Hop hiccuped as he spoke, his voice breaking off into a slight tremble. “You’re better than me.”
A distressed Dubwool ran towards his trainer, but was stopped by Hop’s firm hand on its back.
“Dubwool, stay.” Hop wiped his face, letting go of Dubwool. “In fact, everyone stay. I just- I need some time alone right now.” Adjusting the straps of his backpack, quite sobs still heard, he turned back one last time.
“Goodbye, everybody.”
And with that he marched off into the forest.
The teens were too shocked at what had just occurred to speak for a bit. But when they did find their voices, they all sharply said one thing.
“Bede!”
Bede tried to say something, tried to defend himself, but he just couldn’t think of a good excuse. He mind drawing blanks, all the white haired trainer could do was open his mouth, gasping for air like a Magikarp out of water.
“Why would you say that to him?” Marnie whispered, furrowing her brow. “And why did you have to bring me into it?”
“So, my execution wasn’t the best,” Bede admitted, “But there was something wrong!… wasn’t there?” Victor walked up to Bede and roughly shoved his finger into his chest.
“Just because you can’t seem to admit that there are actually good people out there, doesn’t mean you have to take it out on us!” He huffed angrily, shutting his eyes tightly.
“Hop just wanted to hang out with us,” Victor’s twin sister whimpered, her voice rising in pitch, “He just wanted to be our friend. YOUR friend, Bede!” Bede looked down at the ground in shame, swiveling around to face away from his companions. His eyes were blurry, filled with tears, but he couldn’t cry for the fear that he might embarrass himself more than he already had.
The silence was tense; the only sounds heard being the quick, rapid, breathes, and the occasional sobs from the others. After a moment, Victor spoke up in a quiet voice.
“I hope you feel sorry.” And with that, the sound of feet tapping away and unzipping their sleeping bags was heard.
Bede only stood there, unmoving, until the noise came to a minimum. Turning back, he saw that everyone was in their sleeping bags, and the pokemon had all settled down. All except for Dubwool, who was staring intently at Bede with wide eyes. He let out a small bleat, quivering a bit as the sound came out. Bede felt his face scrunch up, and closing his eyes, he put a shaky hand on the pokemon’s head.
“I know Buddy,” he whispered. “I know.” He felt Dubwool nuzzle against him softly, before backing away, as if remembering what happened to his trainer last time he was in contact with the fairy-type specialist. Looking up, into the night, Bede made up his mind.
“I’m going after him.”
-
“This is a stupid idea,” Bede spoke out loud to himself, following scruffy feet prints into the darkness, the only light being the occasional glow of pokemon in the nearby lakes. “I’m an idiot for doing this.” Although he spoke these words, he refused to go back.
He knew something was off. Now, he was going to get Hop back, and he was going to prove it. He was going to prove he was a great friend, and a great person.
This definitely wasn’t a guilt thing.
Following the tracks all the way to the end of the path, ending up at the train station, Bede found they started walking up towards the walls surrounding the Wild Area.
The ground was more unsteady, probably due to the high amount of rock pokemon that had been living there recently. The dirt was coarse in most areas, so the area was perfect for an occasional Dwebble. The floor directly at the bottom of the top of the drops is particularly rocky. For this reason, the city officials were considering having some sort of fencing around the cliffs.
But as he went further up, Bede took notice of the ground growing softer; the grass tickling the very slim area of skin that was exposed in his ankle area. There weren’t many trees, but the jagged curves of the land plus the darkness made it very hard to see people, if there were any.
Annoyed, the fairy-type trainer clicked his tongue and he swiveled his head from side to side. The night was so peaceful, that if he wasn’t on a mission, he might have been actually enjoying himself. But since the circumstances were so strange, Bede refrained from smiling.
While he could no longer see the footprints, he could feel the remnants of where Hop had stepped; it was almost as if the earth bent to frame the previous walkers steps. Confidently, Bede put one foot after another in the way he imagined Hop walking. Not his usually happy walk, but the way he would drag his feet, leaving curves and skids in the dirt.
Bede finally found the area where the footprints led; a dark green patch of grass covered in beautiful flowers. Tall petunias and dandelions sprouting from the earth. As many flowers as there were, there weren’t many pokemon; Bede presumed this was because of the proximity to the train tracks.
Bede clambered towards the flowery area, and squinting he could finally see the outline of a person who he assumed to be Hop, if the reflection of light on the denim was evidence. Bede thought about calling out to Hop, but his throat was feeling a bit tight at the moment, so he decided to just approach him.
Hop’s dark silhouette was standing at the top of the cliff, going through his bag. From what Bede could see, his bag was mostly empty from the earlier clean out. Scoffing silently to himself, the white haired boy trudged towards Hop.
Hop pulled what looked like a small piece of folded paper out of his bag, this piece of paper surprisingly not crumpled like the tickets from earlier that day. Taking it in his hands, he opened it and read the words on the paper, eyes scrolling left to right as he reviewed the text.
The moonlight was shining down, illuminating the ground with its white light. The distant sounds of Cutieflies shambling in the air and Noctowl settling down in the wild below was soothing. However, as Bede got closer to the champion’s younger brother, the wind seemed to stop and the sounds died down.
Hop had started pacing around anxiously, the way his mouth was moving implying that he was mumbling to himself. His face was reflective, probably still damp from tears that were still falling. Grabbing the piece of paper in his right hand, he used his left hand to comb through his hair.
Bede was almost close enough to see the delicate features on Hop’s jean jacket. How the other boy hadn’t noticed his arrival was beyond him; although, to be fair, the curve of the hill plus the shadow and tears probably made it hard to notice anything else.
Finally, Hop settled down. He stood, delicately refolding the letter and putting it into the front pocket of his backpack. Grabbing the bag, and holding it to his side, Hop took a long, silent look at the moon.
Bede was about five feet behind him. Just as Bede was about to say something, Hop took a step forward and fell off the edge.
Time seemed to slow down. Unsure of what he was seeing, Bede stood there, mouth wide open for a second. Suddenly, putting the pieces together in his brain, he found the strength to dart forward. Grabbing Hop roughly by the back of his furry coat, he pulled the boy back towards him. Hop let out a little squeak of surprise, visibly tensing up, trying to turn his head to see who had grabbed him, but unable to because of the tight grip on his jacket. Hop even reached out to scratch at the offending hand, scrambling for control over the situation. Before Bede could give the trainer a real piece of his mind, they stumbled back. Bede suddenly realized he had pulled WAY too hard, and then they were both falling and rolling down the slope from where he just came.
The hill leading up to the cliff wasn’t that rough on the way up, but on the way down he could feel every bump in the grass. Although the fall hurt, and Bede could feel blood from what he assumed was a cut on his forehead pooling down, he didn’t let up on his grip on Hop’s coat. Bede felt a nail crack, and the rubbing of the rough denim fabric against his raw skin, and the blood throbbing into his finger, made him want to say something, anything. But he just kept his mouth shut. Bede could taste the iron on his lips, but dared not try to lick it away for fear that he would bite his tongue. As much as all the rocks and logs hurt on the way down, and as much as they dug into his jacket, leaving small jagged holes, the worst part had to be over a small patch of uneven ground. The ground temporarily escaped from under them, and even if that didn’t want to make Bede vomit, the sound of Hop landing with a small crunching sound, and a shriek accompanying it, was enough to make bile rise up into his throat.
When they finally stopped rolling, it felt like the world came back to life. All the sounds returned, the pokemon, the wind, even the grass rustling. Bede rolled onto his back, and he dared to open his eyes. He could see the night sky, and what he thought were a flock of Pidgey flying overhead. Turning his head to the right, he saw Hop groaning in pain, lying on his side, but luckily still conscious. His nails still dug into the back area of the trainer's coat. Hop let out a soft whimper, turning his head to look over his shoulder at Bede. His body giving out, Hop collapsed back onto the ground for a minute. Bede took the chance to lick his lips, giving the trainer a second to recover. The blood taste was still there. Head spinning, he used his free hand to shake Hop’s shoulder. Getting back onto his quivering legs, Bede got up and pulled Hop up with him, grabbing his shirt and making sure not to put too much weight on him. Hop shakily wrapped his arms around him, gasping for air the whole time. Aside from his obviously twisted ankle, which was an ugly shade of purples and blues, Hop didn’t appear to have any major injuries.
They were both a bit shaky on their feet, clasping onto each other for a second before they could find their balance. Hop’s face was still streaky and damp, but now with dirt coating his reddened features. Hop cleared his throat, removing one fist from Bede’s coat to bring it up to his mouth. He wiped his lips, and coughed one last time before speaking.
“Heh, thanks a lot Bede! Guess I fell back there-“ A loud cracking sound was heard, and Hop recoiled, stumbling back dramatically and letting out another sound of pain.
Later, Bede found that he could only recall the anger he felt in that moment.
Looking down at his now bloodied fist, Bede sneered. Hop was clutching at his nose, wheezy gasps escaping his throat. The other boy shook, before making eye contact with Bede.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!? What was that for!?” Hop demanded. Bede lurched forward, and while Hop flinched, Bede only grabbed him roughly by the front of the shirt and shook him.
“You know exactly what for, idiot! What the hell was that about?” He knocked their foreheads together, hands gripping tighter into Hop’s shirt. Though his skull throbbed and his face hurt, he dared not let go.
“What do you mean?” Hop managed to shove Bede partially off of him, but the other boy simply pulled himself back, wrangling Hop’s head under his arm, starting to pull them in the direction of town. “Where are you taking me? Bede!” Bede paused for a second.
Where am I taking him? He quickly made up his mind, spotting the PokeCenter in Hammerlocke, all the way in the distance.
“Hospital.” Hop’s eyes widened, and he shoved Bede off of him, stepping backwards and scanning the area.
“N-no. No, no. No way. I’m not going to the hospital. I don’t need it. I’m fine.” Bede sighed, mildly annoyed by his refusal.
“Even if you hadn’t just… done that, your ankle’s seriously messed up. Do I need to spell it out to you? You need a cast, Hop!”
“I’ll make one! I just- I can’t go.” Suddenly, he turned his gaze to the ground right by Bede’s feet.
Looking down as well, Bede realized that Hop’s backpack was right next to him. Before he knew what was happening, Hop was lunging towards it, reaching out for the fabric before falling over, clutching his ankle.
The fairy-type trainer quickly scoops up the bag, and slings it over his back.
“Bede,” Hop let out a sucked in breath, “Bede, give me the bag. Please. I don’t have to go to the hospital. This can end right here, Bede. Just let me fix it, Bede please!” He was crying now, tears streaming down his face, as he slowly shoved himself back up to his feet. Limping on his injured leg, Hop held out a shaking hand to Bede. Bede took a step back, staring Hop in his now dull eyes.
“Hop,” While he was trying to act strong, Bede was close to shaking. He had never been in this situation before; much less the fact that he couldn’t help feeling that this was his fault. “I can’t… I can’t do that. You know I can’t do that.”
“Why the hell not!?”
“Throwing away the note... it won’t fucking fix anything Hop. You know that.”
Hop stared blankly for a second, before laughing, putting his right hand up to clutch at his hair. His laughter then faded into deep sobs, making his chest spasm. Letting him shake for a second, Bede walked over to the crying boy. Slipping into the straps, and reaching his right arm to pull Hop into a side hug, Bede silently ran his fingers over Hop’s shoulder.
“Come on,” he whispered. “Let’s go, Hop. We have to go to the hospital.” Letting out another choked sob, but shyly nodding, Hop started walking forward.
The silence between them was deafening as they slowly walked forward. Not to mention the small height difference, which made it slightly uncomfortable to put his arms in this position. Not that he minded, of course.
Slowly creeping towards the train station, Bede cursed himself for forgetting to bring his phone.
Bede felt extremely out of his element. Usually there were pokemon, and the battlefield. Usually there was nothing personal going on, his opponent just being another blurry face; another nobody. Usually, he had all sorts of ideas for mean remarks and rude comments. But here, now, he was drawing a blank. He should have loads of things to call Hop; stupid, idiotic, dumbass. But he couldn’t. Feeling Hop cry under his arm, he wasn’t sure he could ever say another mean thing to him again.
Considering the state of Hop’s ankle, they weren’t getting anywhere very quickly. But the walk was nice, the warmth of Hop against him making Bede feel alive, alive in a strange way he had only ever felt with Rose and Opal. It was like home, in a strange way; but there was also a certain sadness to it. Walking with Hop, he just knew everything was different now. Everything had just changed; and Bede wasn’t sure he was prepared for what came after they walked through the doors of the hospital.
Putting his hand into the bag he felt loosely swinging on his back, Bede fumbled around before finding what he was looking for. He felt the textured crumbles of the paper, now folding in such a way presumably because of the fall. Bede grasped it firmly and pulled it out. Hop gasped as the other boy held the folded sheet of paper in front of them, the shadow of words slightly visible at correct angles.
“Please… please don’t read that.” Hop coughed, leaning a bit closer into Bede. “At least not right now.” Bede nodded, putting the note in the front pocket of his coat. Though he was curious of the notes contents, he had to respect Hop’s wishes; especially in a time like this. Softly sighing, he decided to speak.
“Can you tell me something, Hop?”
“...Sure. Ask away.” Bede took a deep breath.
“Was I… right about today? Being strange, I mean?” After Bede said that, Hop chuckled, elbowing him gently.
“You still on about that, mate? Is that why you followed me?” The next words came in a whisper. “You wanted to prove you were right?”
“Maybe a little. But-“ Bede kicked a small rock, watching it disappear into the tall grass before speaking again. “I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.”
“Then I guess you were right. Congratulations.”
Bede nodded, and another awkward pause was had.
“Hey, Hop. I really need to know-“
“I thought you only wanted to ask one question, Bede. Didn’t know this would turn into an interrogation.”
“You’re gonna have plenty of questions to answer today. I’m just warming you up.” Bede felt Hop roll his eyes, though he found the statement quite amusing.
“Mhm.”
“But, since this was like… a planned thing, tell me- did you have weird suicide parties for your brother, too?” The purple haired boy sharply inhaled, moving one of his hands the fidget with the buttons on his jacket.
“Suicide? Is that what we’re calling it?”
“Uh, what else would it be? You say goodbye to all your friends, write a note, and- now, here’s the key part; you jump off a ledge because you know the fall would have killed you.” Bede scoffed, but reminded of the semantics of Hop’s situation, pulled him in a little tighter. Hop shrugged.
“Guess you’re right.” Hop cleared his throat, quickly changing the subject. “But if you’re asking if I hung out with Lee before this, then the answer is yes.”
“Just Leon?” Said Bede.
“And my Mum, and Sonia. I visited Professor Magnolia for a second, but it was because Sonia had to pick something up.” He sighed. “I thought it would be hardest to say goodbye to you guys, my friends, since I felt like you were closest to me, but- seeing my Mum’s face, and hugging my brother… it hit me that I would never see them again.”
Bede didn’t want to say anything after that- Hop had been through so much, and he didn’t want to pressure him. But he just couldn’t seem to stop his mouth from spitting out the million dollar question:
“Why did you do it, then?” Hop tensed up, and looked at the other boy. Bede opened his mouth, trying to fumble through apologizing for asking, but Hop just smiled gently at him, a sad smile forming on his mouth.
“It’s- you know, it’s funny. I never understood suicide when I was a kid; I thought it was stupid, and selfish, and as long as you were alive, that I was enough to make you happy. But,” he looked down at his feet.
“I didn’t realize I was depressed. I didn’t realize that I didn’t want to exist anymore- but one day, it just hit me. There were so many things, Bede; my brother’s better than me, I’m dragging his name through the dirt, I’ll never be good enough at anything. Then, it just didn’t stop.” Hop started crying again, and Bede pulled him even closer somehow, resting his head against the other boys.
“Everyday, I spent thinking about everyone hating me, and all the small stuff got to my head. The neighbors giving me looks, pokemon reacting negatively to me, even the look on Leon’s face when I messed up- I took it to heart. And one day, it struck me; I could just end it all.”
They had stopped walking now, Bede fully pulling Hop into his arm, leaning into the embrace, holding on like he was scared that if he let go, that Hop would be gone.
“I was so fucking lost, Bede!” Hop gripped the back of Bede’s coat, wrinkling it; although in that moment Bede could care less. “I was out of options, I had to do this- it hurt so much, my blood hurt, my heart hurt, I couldn’t do it!-“ Hop trailed off into full blown tears, crying so hard it felt like he might explode. Bede felt himself start to cry a bit too, his heart aching for Hop. He felt so ashamed, so guilty- it was killing him.
“I’m sorry.” Bede whispered.
“…I’m scared Bede. I’m scared of telling my Mum and Leon what I did. I’m scared of telling the others what I did. They’re gonna look at me differently. What if this defines me?” Silence came over them, as Bede thought quietly to himself.
“I know that feeling like you’ve disappointed someone important to you… is hard. But you have to keep going forward.” Bede tugged on Hop, urging him to keep moving again. “We have to go. You need medical treatment.”
Wiping the tears from his eyes, Hop started walking forward again. While he didn’t want to ruin the silence, Bede’s mind was still buzzing from all the thoughts in his head; keeping them from spilling out of his mouth seemed impossible.
“You know,” Bede sighed, watching as the lights from the train station in the distance got closer. “Marnie said something earlier; it was kind of stupid, but whatever.”
“Hm?”
“Well, she told me… earlier… to imagine a world without you.” Bede’s face heated up in embarrassment, but Hop just chuckled.
“Let me guess: you were making fun of me, mate?”
“Only a little,” Bede scoffed. “It’s in my nature, I can’t help it. But… I think I’m gonna work on it.” Hop smiled at him, knocking their heads together for a second.
“Ok. Continue?”
“Oh, yeah.” Bede lost his train of thought for a second, before regaining himself. “I didn’t think much of it, when she said it at first. But, now that I think about it, it would be…”
“Peaceful? Relaxing? The best day of your life?” Hop interrupted, voice dry.
“… it would be a lot more boring, without you..”
At this, Bede could see Hop’s face heat up, even in the darkness.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Taking a moment to pull away, Bede gently punched Hop in the shoulder. “So don’t do that ever again, shithead. Or I’ll kill you myself.”
“I thought you said you would miss me?”
“Don’t twist my words, dumbass.” The two boys started laughing, though their heads hurt and it was dark. They laughed, and it felt like home again.
-
When they got to the meet-up spot in front of the train station, Hop practically collapsed. Considering how long he walked on his bad ankle, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Bede was just grateful it didn’t happen on the way, or he wasn’t sure how he was going to drag Hop to safety. He called out for the tickets booth operator. When the young adult brunette girl working the counter came out, she quickly called a Corvambulance (“The hospital was probably real proud of that one,” Hop commented).
When the Corviknight specially designed carrier with the paramedics and equipment came, they quickly got to work in putting Hop on a stretcher. Explaining the situation to the paramedics seemed to make Hop feel awkward, so Bede took over that role, simplifying the basics of the incident. While Hop got his ankle rebroken to set it back in place, Bede asked if he could go in the carrier with them to the hospital.
“Unfortunately, given that we have an extra medical student on board,” A blue haired paramedic said, pointing to a shy, tall girl hovering around the stretcher. “We can’t ensure the best care if we’re slowed down by the extra weight of another person.”
Bede felt a protest rising up in his throat. But, figuring that he had no reason to be upset with the same doctors helping Hop, he simply nodded.
When everyone who needed to be was in the air, and the black of Corviknight’s wings were barely visible in the night sky, Bede started running towards the area where his friends had set up camp.
If you had asked other people in the wild area what they saw that night, they would have told you about the fairy type gym leader running as quickly as possible through the plains. They also would have mentioned the fact that he nearly trampled a Metapod, and almost ran face first into a sleeping Onix.
When Bede arrived at the campsite, he hurriedly shook his friends awake. Despite their complaints, all he had to say was “Hop”, “Hospital”, and “Suicide attempt” for everyone to scoop up their things, retract their pokemon, and rush to run in the direction of the city.
Dubwool was the fastest, despite his extra weight (Hop had described it as a ‘thicker build’ at some point in time, petting his companion), but Gloria and Victor were close seconds, practically leaping over any obstacles that were in their way. Bede and Marnie ran fast as well, but Bede was still tired from the previous journey, and Marnie’s shoes weren’t exactly for running.
People stared at them as they burst through the city gates, the sound of their shoes clattering on the stone tile prominent. In too much of a rush to wait for the elevator, Victor depicted them towards a ladder in a nearby alley, the teens scampering up it. Bede, being last up the ladder, could only see the faint outline of the twins and Dubwool in the distance, and a closer yet still anxious Marnie, motioning for him to hurry up.
Admittedly, Dubwool practically breaking down the doors of the hospital emergency room probably wasn’t best for the other patients, or for the Minccino sweeping the entrance that he almost stomped on, but once the secretary calmed it and the equally distressed teenagers down, they were directed to a side room where their friend was resting.
Hop had his eyes closed, and was wearing a light blue hospital gown, flexing his fingers up and down as the medical student from earlier injected something into the IV in his hand. He was wearing a thick, white cast, but there were also some bandages around his arms. Opening his eyes slightly, and spotting his friends, he smiled softly at them.
“Hey.” Hop said, his throat raspy. Dubwool made a motion to get on the bed, bleating for its trainer, but Marnie grabbed it and held it soothingly until it calmed down. Gloria also looked like she was about to jump on the bed, albeit for less wholesome reasons.
“What the HELL were you thinking Hop? We were scared shitless!” She ranted, and while Victor whispered to her to calm down, he also looked quite peeved. At this point, feeling a bit awkward, the medical student backed out of the room, pulling the spotted curtain closed behind her.
“Do you know how terrifying it is to have Bede shake us awake at twelve at night, only to say that you tried to kill yourself? Just what do you have to say for yourself!?” Victor furrowed his brow at Hop, waiting for an answer. While it looked like Hop was trying to begin to speak, his lip started quivering and his eyes started tearing up. The twin’s faces both softened, and Marnie, placing Dubwool into Bede’s arms, shuffled forward and grabbed Hop’s hands.
“We’re sorry, Hop. We were just worried about you.” She said soothingly.
“Yeah Mate! Please don’t cry!” Gloria said as she waved her hands in front of her face, in an apologetic motion. Hop nodded, eyes drying up a bit.
“M’sorry, guys. I didn’t mean to make you worry.” Hop sniffled. “I don’t know what I was thinking, really.”
In the distance, the sound of more frantic running was heard, along with a squeal presumably from the custodial Minccino, and the champion himself, Leon, burst through the curtain. His face was red, and he was breathing heavily. Upon seeing Hop, he burst into tears.
“HOP!” Practically throwing his arms around his little brother, Leon sobbed as he squeezed him tightly. “I’M SO SORRY, PLEASE-“ He choked out another sob.
About a second later, Sonia and Leon’s mother were in the room as well, and they cried and rushed to embrace the boy upon seeing him..
With shaky arms, Hop put his arms around his family and held them as tight as he could in his current condition.
“Mum, Lee, Sonia, I-“ Hop hiccuped, hands tightening into the fabric of whatever clothes he was grasping on to.
“My baby, my Hop-“ Hop’s mom pressed a kiss to his forehead, looking him over and whimpering when she saw his cast.
“Hop, I’m so sorry we never noticed. I should have helped you, I just didn’t see it! Oh my god…” Sonia buried her face into Hop’s hospital gown.
Leon pulled away as well, and got onto one knee, resting one hand on his brother’s shoulder and another on the bed sheets.
“Hop, I’m so happy you’re alive,” he said quietly, moving the hand from Hop’s shoulder to cup his face. “When I got the call I was so scared, I- I got here as fast as I could!” Chuckling, Hop squeezed the hand cupping his face.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your night.” At this, Leon teared up again.
“No, no, Hopscotch, you didn’t ruin anything. You’ve NEVER ruined anything. It’s us, we didn’t notice, Hop and we’re so, so sorry.” Leon sobbed. “Hop, if you had died then- I don’t know how I could keep being champion. You’re my number one fan; and I’m yours, little brother.” Leon put him and his brother’s forehead to forehead, and sighed gently at feeling the warmth of his brother's face.
“It’s gonna be ok, Hop. We can work through this together now,” Sonia mumbled, removing one of her hands from Hop’s gown to wipe away her tears with a teal painted fingernail. “I promise, we’re gonna be here with you.”
Hop’s mom and Sonia also joined in the embrace, and wriggling out of Bede’s loose grasp, Dubwool jumped on the bed as well, bleating sadly at Hop.
Hop opened up his teary eyes, and seeing his friends, motioned for them to come as well. They all rushed into the hug (even Bede, who tried to be cool about it), and there they all were, on the bed. The only sounds being the beep of heart rate monitors and the beating hearts of everyone in the room.
It was warm; it was so REAL. This emptiness that Hop had felt for so long vanished in an instant, and he felt sort of silly because of how easy it was.
He knew he wasn’t better yet- he knew he needed to work on himself, on his communication with others, on all his overthinking. But pulling away, and seeing the teary eyed but smiling expressions of all the people he loved most, he felt like he could do it. He finally felt like he could start breaking the cycle. Shutting his eyes, and smiling so genuinely that it warmed everyone’s hearts, he began to speak.
“Thank you, everyone!” Going back in for another hug, everyone laughed hysterically as they crushed the purple haired trainer on the bed. Bede laughed especially hard, with only one thought in his head.
It felt like home.