Chapter Text
—
"everyone remember, tuesday of next week is the cut-off! don't forget!" your teacher scribbled something on the whiteboard behind her, a due date for your group project. "i'm not accepting any projects turned in after tuesday, moving on to..."
even as she continued to talk, you couldn't find it in yourself to listen. the bell had just rung and students were already leaving the classroom as she shouted assignments out. you packed your bag quickly, and quickly walked towards the door, wishing a good evening to your teacher.
"i swear, you're the sweetest student i have (l/n)," she smiled at you, to which you returned before you walked out the door.
it was busy in the halls, everyone walked in different directions trying to make it out of the building. you searched the halls for your tiny group of friends, trying to scan the sea of heads for that one odd hair color your best friend adorned.
a cherry brown, freshly dyed last weekend. she hated it at first but it grew on her. but even as you searched for her, you couldn't find her.
"(y/n)-chan! there you are," turning around, there she was, a smile on her face as she dragged your other friend by the arm.
he hunched over, hands on his knees catching his breath as quick as he could. "can you run a little slower next time? jeez sana..." he huffed, looking up at the girl in front of him.
she didn't do anything but giggle innocently, "but daito, we were gonna lose (y/n) if we didn't run," she patted his back. "how about i buy you some meat buns on our next date, yeah? what do you say?" she smiled that smile he loved, his cheeks flushing red.
standing up straight, he looked away scratching his neck. "it's really fine, i'll buy you something next time," he muttered, his aloof side dissipating for the moment.
you rolled your eyes, almost grossed out by the two of them. you'd think you would be used to it by now, by just watching them blush over the other was still foreign. "guys, please...no couple things in front of me," sana chuckled and linked her arm with yours.
"(y/n)-chan, i promise one day you'll find your soulmate too!" she gushed with a cheesy smile on her face as she leaned into your side.
you both started down the halls, navigating your way through students all trying to leave as well. though you stayed quiet to her inquiry, it still made your mind race.
it happened for them two months ago, during the fireworks show on the last day of summer. the moment daito slipped his hand into sana's, a feeling churned inside the two of them. though you were standing right there next to them, it felt like you were in a completely different world. you could remember the way daito's eyes stared into sana's, the way they sparkled. don't even get you started on sana's starstruck gaze, she couldn't see anything but daito at the moment.
they both couldn't see you or even hear the fireworks popping in the night sky as if they'd tuned the entire world out. speaking to sana about it afterward, she'd described it as a warm feeling throughout her heart, almost like a weight had been lifting off her shoulders. euphoric, in a way. she said she couldn't see anything but daito in front of her like she had tunnel vision set on him. it was as if she could feel daito's affection for her, she could feel the love radiating off the two of them.
it all sounded crazy to you, scary if need be. in the moment it felt like she couldn't see you even though you were right there in her line of vision. and every since school started, they decided to take things steady, and it was taking a little time for you to get used to.
seeing them all over each other was awkward for you, considering the three of you had been nothing but friends since middle school. but you could tell daito began picking up some feelings for sana along the way. it was a little too obvious for him to even try hiding it, almost like he wasn't even trying. but sana didn't notice a thing.
as the three of you made your way towards the lockers, you split into your own spaces and began swapping out your stuff. upon opening your locker, a small envelope fell out of it, landing on its front side at your feet. looking around you first, you bent down and picked up.
the white envelope was sealed shut with a red heart sticker. after examining it, you opened it carefully. inside was a handwritten letter. neat handwriting was scrawled on the lined paper, a heart sealing off the ending.
"whatcha got there?" you flinched hearing a voice next to your ear. you held the letter to your chest and turned around abruptly, only to be met by the cheeky smile of none other than the volleyball team's captain.
you sighed, an annoyed look on your face. "kuroo! why'd you have to sneak up on me like that!?" you turned around stuffed the letter in your bookbag, ignoring your fast-paced heartbeat.
"sorry, (y/n), it's a little funny to see your face like that," he chuckled as he watched you close your locker. kuroo made it routine to tease you a least fifty percent of the day. he found it funny to see you get mad at him, often calling you cute because of it. seeing his smiley face made your stomach flutter, almost like butterflies. but you'd never admit that out loud, never.
putting your bookbag back on your shoulder you turned to him once more. "don't you have practice today?" you asked, brushing off whatever feeling you had just felt.
he shook his head, "we're taking the day off, and can i see your note?" he leaned forward, eyes guided towards your bag as he pressed on. he knew considering he already saw just what it was, and clearly it was a love letter for you. he just wanted to see just how flexible that note was...
"and why should i? it's not for you, is it?" a smirk on your lips, you began walking away in hopes that he wouldn't follow. but you knew kuroo didn't always give up that easily.
"it's a love letter isn't it?"
"what?"
he snickered, a hand coming up to cover his mouth. "did baby (y/n) get a love letter?" he chuckled making you pick up your pace a bit. you did just about anything to get away from him, but he was too quick to lose.
"kuroo.." you grumbled as you searched the spread of students in the front of the school, all of them in their little cliques and groups. for some reason, sana's red hair just wasn't appearing before your eyes like it always did.
"just one peek? can i at least see who it's from?" kuroo asked one last time, peeking over at your face.
you ignored his question to which he hummed at. you tried searching for daito and sana once again, anything to get you away from kuroo's teasing. "ah, is (y/n) ignoring me now? i thought we were best friends, (y/n)-chan?" he whined, a bit too childlike for a tall guy like him.
your friendship had been like this for the longest, but it was all in good nature. he was always annoying to you, but he did it all on purpose just to get some type of reaction from you. to be honest, it was funny to him to see your mad face staring back at him.
finally, your eyes landed on sana's vibrant cherry brown hair and you began walking away from kuroo,
your head turning back to smile at him. but he could see the frustration in that strained smile of yours, causing his lips to curl at the corners, "i'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"
—
you laid awake in your bed, your eyes rereading the letter for what felt like the thousandth time. you couldn't wrap your mind around the feeling that aroused in your stomach. butterflies swarmed in your belly as you read over those sweet words once again.
thought it seemed idiotic to think of, you couldn't help but hope whoever wrote this letter is your soulmate. every time you read over his words, the warm feeling fluttered through your chest, filling your entire body to the brim with warmth. this feeling you were feeling, maybe it was what daito was feeling. maybe you had finally found your soulmate. you thought about telling sana and daito about the letter, but you quickly refuted the idea of it. you didn't want sana hassling you about it. as much as you wanted to, you would rather introduce them to your soulmate than show them some letter. it could very well be a prank for all you knew.
"meet me next to the gym tomorrow after school, i hope you'll hear me out..."
you were debating if you should go. turning over on your side you went to sleep, your dreams laced with who your soulmate could possibly be. you dreamt of a responsible person, someone good-looking and talented, maybe someone dependable and with a big heart. but every time you dreamt of your soulmate a familiar face popped up in your head, a face that made you want to pack up and get out of time. then again you brushed it away, praying that it was just a suspicion.
the way your mind raced, you couldn't help dream of the events of tomorrow, breaking everything down in an unrealistic way, but that's what made it even more exciting. you had been trying to find your soulmate since eighth grade. it was that year you heard that someone in your class had found their soulmate. you couldn't help but feel a teensy bit jealous, the urge to find your soulmate becoming dire.
that morning when you woke up, being able to go downstairs and eat felt a little too easy. you felt light today, almost like a couple of weights had been lifted off your shoulders. you brushed it off as jitters, excitement to meet your secret admirer. saying goodbye to your family, you began on your walk to school.
you met up with sana and daito on the way, sana being as lively as she is every morning. she dragged daito along with her on the sidewalk, as if he minded. as long as he got to be there beside her, he was fine in his book.
"(y/n)! let's get going!" sana's smile lit up her entire face, she was truly a beauty. and you couldn't help but catch the boy she dragged with her, staring.
daito was starstruck by her. his gaze on her was so calm, so soft and caring. he was so entranced, it made you wonder what it felt like to love someone that much, and honestly what it felt like to find your soulmate. but you sighed and mustered a smile towards your best friends, picking up your pace just a little bit to catch up with them.
"yeah, yeah, i'm coming, sana."
—
the day was not going by fast enough.
you tapped your pencil on your finger, anxiously. the feeling ate you alive. your mind raced, thoughts going in and out. you were supposed to be reading your book, by all you could do was stare at the pages in front of you not taking in any of the information from the words in front of you. your mind was elsewhere, in a faraway land as the clock became louder in your mind.
the ticking of the second hand was loud to you, it being the only thing you could hear. you kept glancing at it, the seconds going by slower than the last time you had looked at it. you planned to dart out of the classroom the moment the clock struck three. your bag was ready to go next to you, the letter you had received yesterday being your bookmark. you would stuff the book into your bag, and keep the letter in your hand, ready to walk your way towards the gym. even the location had your mind racing.
why did he ask to meet next to the gym? of all places, why the gym? the meaningless location looped you back to the suspicion of that certain someone being the sender of this letter, the one who spent time describing their feelings for you. he's also the one who drives you crazy but you somehow can't stay away from him. you always found yourself gravitating towards him, but for some odd reason, you hadn't seen him all day.
but you pushed that idea to the back of your head as your eyes looked back towards the clock. just one more minute and you'd be on your way to meet your secret admirer. finally, that butterfly feeling of giddiness filled your stomach. you couldn't help but stuff your book back into your bag, seeing as the rest of the class has already started to pack up as well.
the letter remained in your hands though, the pristine white color untainted and the sides as sharp as ever. looking from the outside in, it looked like you were going to deliver this letter.
the bell rang and students started piling out of the door, you being amongst that group trying to leave as quick as possible. but even as you were rushing to get out of the classroom, you smiled towards your teacher to which she returned with her own.
the moment you stepped outside you didn't bother looking for sana's hair, having already told them to not wait up for you. it took a little convincing and sana whining for you to tell her who you were going to meet, but they left you alone after you reassured them multiple times over the day.
finally, you made it towards the gym and away from the crowd of students leaving the school. thankfully, none of the sports teams had shown up yet, leaving the area open. it seemed as if your secret admirer hadn't arrived yet, but that could be because of your eagerness to get here on time.
looking back, maybe it would've been a better idea to take your time, then you wouldn't have to wait to figure out who he is. but your impatience had gotten the best of you. a breeze pushed past you, causing you to shiver just lightly. "is he at least close?" you mumbled to yourself, hoping your secret admirer would arrive sooner.
"what's this?" that voice you hadn't heard all day spoke up, making you look in their direction. kuroo walked towards you, another one of his annoying smiles on his face. "are you here to cheer me on, (y/n)-chan?" he teased, your eyes instinctively rolling on their own. but the use of that honorific made you pause for a second.
"as if, i'm here for something else," even if you put on these standoffish vibes, you couldn't stop the way your ears were burning or the way your heart wouldn't calm down. under his gaze, you felt warm, like he could see right through you.
discreetly you tried to wipe your now sweaty palms on your skirt, but unfortunately, the wind wasn't on your side as it blew the letter out of your hands. a small gasp left your lips as it blew towards kuroo's direction.
almost like a switch flipped in kuroo, he quickly grabbed onto the letter, his volleyball senses kicking into gear. inaudibly, you sighed, relieved that kuroo was there to catch it. "ah, thank you...that was too close—," you stopped talking upon seeing his scrunched-up face. there was a visible frown on his lips as he stared down at the red heart-shaped sticker stuck to the middle of the envelope.
kuroo examined the state of the letter, noticing how you'd taken care of it so well, not a single mark or tear on the envelope. little do you know, it made his heart sink to see how much you cared for it, secretly wishing you would've just ignored the whole thing.
"so you're here to meet whoever this person is?" he tried to stop the frown on his face from showing but it was pointless; you'd already seen it. sheepishly, you nodded afraid to admit it now that he brought it to attention. he scoffed, his fingers twisted the note around in his hands to see the way your name was written prettily on the blank side of the envelope. "why are they making you wait so long then?" he mumbled.
he walked closer towards his arm stretched out to hand the letter back to you. "whatever. it's probably some sick joke, who even gives love letters these days?" even as he talked so badly about the love letter, he couldn't help but have a sour look. in a way, it made him look cute in your eyes. his lips pouty and stuck out though his words were speaking on different levels. he had a charm that seemed to only come out when he was around you.
your hands met in the middle, your fingers grazed over each other on the underside of the letter and that's when you felt it. almost like caffeine had been pumped through your veins, your head snapped up to meet kuroo's eyes. rushes of adrenaline pumped through you, the exuberance of it making your cheeks warm up.
the world around you began to disappear and the only thing you could see was kuroo, almost like a white tranquillity had surrounded the both of you. you wanted to feel him, to feel his arms wrapped around you, your lips pressed against his. it didn't make sense why you were thinking this way or why you were feeling this way but you didn't want it to stop. you were caught up in the ecstasy of being with him like you were in your paradise with no one else but him and you to enjoy.
you heard him call your name, his hand now holding yours. it all happened so fast, the motion of his hand climbed up your arm to pull you in by your elbow, his other hand holding you in by your waist. you tilted your head in to meet his lips just halfway, but feeling him whisper your name once more brought you back to your senses. your lazy eyes opened wide to stare into his, you could still feel it. the need to be with, to feel him kiss your lips so delicately.
the world around you faded back into your peripherals, and everything started to make sense. you flinched away from kuroo, making him also snap to. "(y/n)? what's wrong?" he asked, his hands loosening their hold on you.
backing away, you shook your head in disbelief, just what was going on? "you, we, n-no this is all just..." you let go of him, as you looked all around you, from his hands to the proximity between you two, it was all too insane.
you looked down at the letter you had dropped, the meaning of it confusing you now. your mind was spinning, the ends weren't meeting and everything wasn't connecting in your mind. "hey, it's alright...i-i'm here, we can talk it out," he tried so badly to console you but you weren't having it. you shook your head, unable to find the words in your parched.
the one thought that ran through your mind was how badly you needed to leave, to run away from this mess, to maybe forget about it all.
tears pricked the edges of your eyes but you concealed them as you pushed past kuroo. he called your name, but you didn't stop, not until you were long gone from there. your tears were falling, falling faster than ever. this was supposed to be a happy moment, the moment you had been waiting for since eighth-grade year. but why were you crying now that you finally got what you wanted?
clearly, running with blurry eyes wasn't in your best interest as you bumped into someone. muttering a small apology, your voice shrinking in your throat, you readied yourself to continue running. where? you don't know. just somewhere that wasn't here.
but when you heard their voice you couldn't help but stop and look back. "(y/n), are you crying?" they reached out to you, this sympathetic look in his eyes. he was the secret admirer, of course. he was everything you imagined. tall, handsome, he looked put together. if only he'd shown up just moments before, would things be different?
you shook your head, your mind still screaming at you to get out. running the other way you could hear him also calling your name but it didn't matter now.
your soulmate was kuroo tetsurou, the boy you couldn't help but love.