Work Text:
r/AskReddit
How do you meet the love of your life?
I just happened to come across this reddit tag while I was scrolling through news so I feel like telling you about the love of my life, which is my wife. I do not want to disclose her name here but what I can tell you about her is that we are both 30 years old this year and we've been married for about two years now and we have a beautiful 2-year old son that we cherish very much.
The day that my wife came into my life was actually when I was 8 and I have known her for almost my entire life. I know, I know this looks like every cute friends to lovers story you may have come across but this was so much harder than that. We went through so much to finally be together due to my stupidity but I promise it will be worth it at the end. If my wife happens to read this I just hope that she will love this hahaha ily baby I promise I won’t do anything embarrassing.
I was at the community park at the time, playing volleyball with my friend and she was just sitting there playing alone at the swings. Me and my friend were only interested in playing together, we considered asking her to play with us but you know little boys, we hardly want to play with girls because we always see them as small and fragile types so we just never bothered to ask her. Every evening that we played at the park she was just sitting there at the swings watching us play. Whenever the ball was hit astray away from the court, she would scurry towards the ball and give it to us and continue playing at the swings.
One day I finally had the heart (courage, because I was always afraid to speak with girls around my age) to thank her and she cutely said “you’re welcome’ with the warmest smile a person could give. I was glad I asked for her name because after that day we became close friends who do everything together. It will be me, her and my friend who I used to play with every day. We got through middle and high school together smoothly, we don’t fight, we study when we can. Sometimes I came over to her family home so I could eat what her mother cooks and so she doesn't have to be alone all the time. My parents were divorced when I was younger so home is not really the place I look forward to going back to at some point in my life.
Middle school was okay, but high school is when I think things took a wrong turn. I went through puberty and all I think about are girls and you know…sex. At first it got scary and somehow I got used to it because it is fun and like I said, home is not fun. So there are multiple girls in my life (used to) that I would promise to bring to dates, and sometimes just sneak them inside my childhood bedroom and keep them there until morning. My wife had a different life in high school compared to me. She rarely spends time with her girl friends outside of school so me and my friend is all she had. The only person other than us that she refers to as friends is the girl who always happens to sit next to her for three years straight in high school. They would have lunch together but don’t hang out after school together because the girl has other friends and my wife didn’t bother to get jealous. And since I spend my time bringing other girls to my bed and my other friend has his own obsession, she will be alone most of the time.
But at some time I would come over to accompany her habits of staying up all night to either study or watch Grey’s Anatomy which you know, how it never ends and will always have more episodes until now, even. Sometimes we would do just that because talking about girl problems felt uncomfortable and she didn't really bat an eye whenever I told them about the girls I slept with. “I am sorry but I am really invested about this episode so let’s talk about that later okay” is what she said the first time I tell her about this senior I slept with and I got scared about what she thinks about my love life so I zipped my mouth shut and just continue watching it with her.
She is definitely a friend I am so grateful to have. She is an angel and would always look out for me whenever school gets stressful, when the volleyball competition gets too harsh on me as I became a captain during my third year. The coach would offer her a position as a manager but she refused every time because she said she didn’t know about the sport too well when she does but I know she only refused because she doesn’t want to seem too attached to me or because she has her own academic priorities to tend to. There are days where I don’t even bother to tell her what happened during practice or official matches for her to comfort me with her words of reassurance.
When we graduated and moved out of our home, we rented a place together as we attend the same university. Other than being a really good friend for me she is also a great roommate. She is a far greater cook than I am so sometimes she will do the kitchen duty all the time and in exchange I will drive her to and from home to get her to places, and sometimes when she runs out of money I will pitch in my savings to buy her food that she likes. Though she always looks like she pulls herself together she’s not like that all the time. During the final year of our degree I think she was in the most vulnerable and destructive state. She skips meals, she doesn’t randomly cook dinner for the both of us like she used to, she refused to study in her room and instead went to the campus library and when she doesn’t come home I always see her sleeping so uncomfortably with hands supporting her chin.
I was WORRIED about her wellbeing so during the weekends I bring her to eat a proper lunch and that’s where I think I fucked up.
“I am tired of seeing random girls being in our apartment. I would wake up and see girls scream at me because they think you cheated on them with me, or sometimes they ask me how to keep you around and attached to them and I am sick of it. It’s not fair that I am uncomfortable in my own place and that people assume that we’re together and that I know the way to your heart when it’s clear that I don’t.”
I remembered all the words she said to me because when she’s mad it’s easier to remember all her facial expressions. It turns out that she would sleep on her classmates' couch whenever she knows I bring girls over and she cried after she spilled everything out. I don’t think an apology would make up for the amount of times I hurt her but I knew better then to not bring anyone over ever again and make sure she is safe.
I suggested that she try going out on dates and that I would help introduce her to the nice guys in my class and she flat out refused every one I introduced her to because she is busy and she doesn’t want to have boy problems. “If I need a guy in my life you’re already here so why bother?” is what she said to me.
I know I know, I should have realized that she loves me when she said this and that she was jealous that I see other girls but I didn’t know any better okay? I know I disappointed a lot of people but believe me I know I am the stupidest guy ever and this is just the first part. I have so much more disappointment to reveal to you guys who actually cared to read this post.
Fast forward to our university graduation, her mom attended for the both of us and wished us well. I picked her mom up from the train station and let her stay with us before the ceremony. She would tell me about how she is proud of her daughter and that she is glad that I was taking care of her when all I did was make her sad. I disclose that information of course because what mother wants to know that their daughter is living with an asshole of a guy who plays with girls’ feelings? But during graduation, when my wife was busy taking pictures with her classmates, her mother told me that if no one is going to be there for her I should promise to be there for her and I did. I promised her that I would take care of her daughter, make sure she is not hurt and that she will find the right person to love.
Ok this is the second disappointment. Guess what happened.
Of course I would break that promise. I fell in love, but with someone else.
After we graduated we were so grateful that we both managed to land a job that fits with what we studied for our degree. She works for a publishing company that publishes novels and I work for the JVA which is my dream workplace. We were happy and we got what we wanted. We moved out of that apartment we used to rent back during the university days and she managed to find a bigger apartment for the both of us. I only lived there for 3 months before I met the person I was in a long-term relationship with.
Again if my wife reads this I just want you to know that you and our little lemon are the only people in my heart and that I love you so much and I talk about my ex because I need to tell a story the people here are invested in!!
Let’s just name her A because I don’t want to shame her here, I am positive she is living a happy life with someone right now, it’s what everyone deserves.
We work in the same building, she is the secretary to my boss and I was just an office worker at the time. Going into details would be a waste of time but we were in a relationship for about two years…which is a very long time considering I have never got to that point with any of my girlfriends ever. It’s different for me and my wife because we didn’t even manage to call each other boyfriend or girlfriend. We just hang out together all the time during lunch and sometimes dinner because overtime gets to us and whether we know it or not we got into a stable relationship.
When I felt like I became committed to her, I broke the news to my wife that I was dating A at the time and wanted to move into her place. A was already aware that I live with my wife before we became official and she doesn’t have a problem with it, but she did offer me to move in with her and that it is easier for me to commute to our work building.
My wife was surprised to the point that she stopped what she was doing so she could look at me. And like I mentioned before, I usually remember all the things she said to me whenever she gets emotional. And this one hit me the hardest.
“So you have a girlfriend all this time and you didn’t tell me? I thought you would share everything with me?”
“I don’t know, it will be nice if I know about your girlfriend while I live in this house because clearly she will think of me differently as someone who has been sharing the same roof with you for years?”
“Of course it matters to me if you have a girlfriend or not! So I don’t have to waste my time waiting for you and worrying about your whereabouts after you spend the whole weekend away without telling me!”
“Am I really just some person you share an apartment with? Don’t I have a right to care about you?”
She broke down and locked herself in her room after that. Of course I didn’t tell anything about this to A at the time, pretty sure I would get into another fight for the day. When she was locking herself up in her room I packed my stuff and left the apartment without even saying anything to her.
I lost contact with her for the two years I lived with A. I didn’t hear about her, and remember the friend I used to mention in the first part of the story? He knows what happened during the two years and all he told me about her is that she was fine or she was okay and that was it.
I didn’t know what happened to her, what she did for the past two years. At some point I forgot how she looks like when she smiles and forgot how her familiar voice would ring in my head. They’re not there anymore. This doesn’t stop me from being happy with my then-girlfriend of course. We spent the two years without a fight, I would send her to work and pick her up and cook for her, clean the messes of the apartment, the things I never did for my wife back then. We didn’t fight for two years because after we celebrated our 2nd anniversary everything went wrong. Turns out A cheated on me and had an accidental affair with her boss she worked with. Our boss was already married but they got to a work trip and stuff happened and I found out from another staff member. We had the nastiest argument ever and decided to call it quits and I took months to recover from that trauma of being in a relationship. I promised myself I won’t fall for another person because all it brought me was betrayal and hurt, so I stopped.
Just, you know, imagine being so committed to dropping a lot of things, your best friend who would be there for you your whole life, the promise I made to her mother, the things I never did for her but she did for me, and it is all for a person who betrays me in the end. I was depressed for months before I started getting on my feet again and slowly forgot A’s face and started living my life alone. I bought a new apartment I can call mine, sold the old car for good and bought a new one. More expensive car.
And I don’t know maybe fate decided to give me another chance again after I stupidly fucked up, I was driving to a place where I need to meet a client and it gets all too familiar. I happen to drive around the area I avoided the most. When I left my wife’s apartment I told myself to forget the coffee shop, the convenience store and the mini mart I used to go with my wife back then because going to the mall is a pain and an inconvenience. Even the park I used to go to all the time for a morning jog or when she was stressed from work and needed to see the dogs that walk around the park all the time.
And just like I said, a whole miracle. I saw her get out of a taxi and headed straight to the convenience store so I walked inside when she was picking up her ice cream. And when I saw her face again I felt light and colour slowly seeping into my life again. When I think I lost it all when I broke up with A I didn’t realize it was because I missed my childhood best friend so much.
Something snapped inside of me so I pulled her into a hug and told her how much I have missed her and how much I haven’t heard from her, how apologetic I was. All she did was tap me on the back and I pulled away to see her smile again. She told me she forgave me a long time ago and that she is doing well. We caught up over dinner and we hung out in the apartment she still lives in after years. The interior changed greatly, it looks more like a place that a single adult woman lived in, the books that are neatly shelved, the kitchen where it has everything you possibly need, and a cozy bedroom. My old bedroom was still empty, the mess I left there two years before was already cleaned up and the mattress was covered by a bedsheet.
She told me how she got promoted so she has the extra money to live a luxurious lifestyle, she didn’t buy a car or learn to drive one because she was too busy to even think about anything like that. She has the money to pay for taxi fares or would just rely on her assistant to drive her around. I was the one who always did that for her so I apologized for completely ditching her for my asshole girlfriend and didn’t manage to take care of her.
When asked why she didn’t buy a place for herself now that she is richer she said that she waited for me whenever I needed a place to stay so she stayed there. Waiting for me. I didn’t realize the amount of sacrifices she made for me until that moment. So I decided to leave my apartment the way it is and moved back into her place to live with her, so I can drive her to work when she needed, for her to have someone there whenever there’s a bug in her room or when the pipe under the sink is clogged and she is not capable of going though all the dirty work of handling it alone or relying on the plumber that would only make her uncomfortable. Sometimes I would only go back to my place to bring some stuff that I don’t have in her apartment.
We lived together for around 6 months where we did a lot of things together. Sometimes we would call over our best friend to drink together, sometimes it was just us and watching the new seasons of Grey’s Anatomy and she would fill in for the amount of episodes I missed when I wasn’t there watching it with her. And when she falls asleep on the couch when she is doing work because the workspace is too small compared to the coffee table, I would carry her to her room and let her sleep peacefully.
There is this one more day that I think was engraved to my mind to this day. I am aware I am already married to her and am happy now but all I can think of is that day and how much pain was in her eyes back then. It was when I took her to the larger park compared to the one in front of our apartment complex for a walk to see cute dogs in the area. A small kid was running in front of us, fell down and cried a lot. We assumed her parents were not in the area so she held her hand and sat her down on the bench. There was a cut on her knees and my wife told me to buy some plaster and ointment at the nearby store while she watches over the kid. When I came back the kid stopped crying, and when my wife was mindless talking about stray cats that were sleeping and rolling on the grass. I treated her wounds and I heard the two girls laugh when the cat was playing with the other cats. My wife never looked so happy when she played with the small child and I smiled along with them and made some jokes about the cats. When the kid’s parents finally got to the bench we were sitting at, I saw my wife’s longing stare at her and her happy expressions from earlier dropped and she was frowning all the time.
This is the third conversation we talked about that I remember very much. We were having coffee and breakfast after we finished our walk.
“I am turning 27 soon enough and my daily routine is just the same. I wake up at 7 am everyday to cook breakfast for myself, take a bath and go out for work. Sometimes when I am a bit lazy I wake up late and skip breakfast to go straight to work. I have lunch alone and if I have them with my coworkers all I could talk about is work. I don’t have an interesting life. They talk about how their kids don’t eat veggies, how their kids have fever, their kids already said the first word and they didn’t expect me to say anything but listen to them talking about it. They said I should be glad that I am a happy single woman that doesn’t have to worry about kids ruining their clothes all the time but what they didn’t know is that I am miserable for living the same boring life like this ever since I graduated. I didn’t know kids would make me happy, you know? I never felt like I wanted to hold a small child’s little hands until today I didn’t know how much I could be happy over them. Maybe my mom is right, I should probably start dating someone and maybe settle down with them and start investing my time for someone else instead of being on my own all the time. I am so bored with my life and I am so lonely. I wanted to be happy so badly!”
After we got back, she sat on the couch the whole day and watched the TV and didn’t bother eating anything else. I held her close while she cried herself to sleep on my shoulders.
After a few days since the conversation happened, I saw her all dressed up in the bathroom trying to put on her lipstick one last time and it turned out she had a date with one of the writers she worked for. She asked me many times if she should wear heels or the pretty flats she just bought few days earlier and asked me if she should do this or that considering I am a man and I’ve been to one too many dates myself and there was a moment where I wished I could take her out on a date too, but I didn’t say anything or delve my mind into that thoughts ever again.
She went to several more dates with that guy and I was DEAD CURIOUS about what happened to that point of many dates. She didn’t want to talk about it until after this one time they had dinner together at some crap place he brought her to. I looked up the place and it wasn’t satisfactory at all.
She started talking about it when I was doing our laundry. She leaned at the door and told me what went wrong. The guy only wanted to go on casual dates and a hookup and didn’t look for anything serious from her and I saw her heart break over it. I was angered about it but at the same time I was relieved because I can never see her living her desired life in the future without me in it.
And let’s just say everything that happened after that seems like fate was so lazy and tired of us constantly pushing each other away so they decided to throw in a miracle.
She got pregnant with my child. Me and my wife, we were expecting. We got so drunk that night after she told me that it didn’t work out with her date. I have never gotten that drunk in my life ever, and I have never seen her in that state but when she cried all I could think of was holding her close like that day, and I kissed her when she stared at me with her eyes that looked like stars were carefully placed in it. We made love that day and I kept telling her how much I loved her and she kept calling for my name when we did it and I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
We got awkward after that day. We barely talk or eat together, and whenever we do, she always says she is full and heads straight to bed after that. When I pick her up from work we hardly try to crack a conversation or when I ask her if she wants to get some midnight snacks she would say she is tired and is busy with work. She kept pushing me away and I assumed it was so that we couldn’t talk about what happened that night.
One day she called me from her workplace to pick her up during the lunch hour, she said she was a bit sick so I also took the rest of the day off in case she needed something. When I picked her up from work she was carrying a grocery bag full of lemons in one hand and a bag in her other hand.
“My period was late. So I decided to take a test and it was positive. I was unsure of the test so I went to the clinic to get myself checked, and the doctor said I am pregnant…for 7 weeks…”
She was carefully looking at me after I said that and she was babbling the entire time.
“I know, I am sorry okay I wasn’t careful, I don’t know if this is what you wanted but I DO I wanted this baby and I want to raise this baby it doesn’t matter if I am alone because I know I will love this baby and that I will be happy but if it means you will leave me it would hurt me a little but can you just promise me you won’t completely ditch me until you see the love of your life I have lived a life without a father figure for so long so it’s okay if my child don’t have one I can be their father too.”
She was talking all the time while I was already thinking ahead of how the baby will look like, what their first words are going to be, what I will dress them up as during halloween and it was when she cried that I stopped her.
I told her that no I won’t leave her and that I don’t even think of dating anyone at the time so she doesn't have to worry about me being around for only a little time because I will be there all the time. I said I have a savings account that I saved up for myself that can be used for hospital bills and everything that she needed. “Of course I wanted this too, I am happy to be able to have this opportunity, thank you so much.” I kissed her on the forehead and brought her to my bed so we could lay there together.
She told me to bring one lemon that she bought earlier. “When I went to the checkup, I was blank all the time and she snapped me back to reality when she told me that the baby is the size of a lemon about now. So I went to the store near the clinic and held the lemon in my palms.”
“The baby is so small, like this lemon. I couldn’t hold it in and cried in the middle of the store. So I bought two weeks worth of lemons because that was all I thought about. Our baby is the size of a lemon. I have a lemon-sized baby inside of me, and it’s not going to be a lemon anymore. It is going to grow.” We cried tears of joy together and slept together on the same bed from that day onwards. It was better for pregnant women’s bump to be held when they sleep to provide comfort for the baby and the mother. She would snuggle up to me and look for me when I needed a bathroom break in the middle of the night. We decided to call our fetus little lemon.
Our routine changed since that day, we told her mom about the pregnancy and expected a negative reaction but she was the happiest because she got to be a grandmother and she was even more happy that the father is me. I did a lot of reading about what pregnant mothers need and what I need to prepare. I will drive her to check-ups, when she is tired she will call me so she can get home earlier, when she is doing the dishes alone I would sneak behind her to lift up her bump so her back pains are reduced. At some point I got tired of watching her do everything in the house so I made sure I took care of everything. I didn’t mind doing chores because we don’t have much to take care of in the first place and I am rich enough to call for help.
When she was 5 months into the pregnancy, the doctor advised us to watch over her diet and her blood pressure HB count. She was worried and agitated all the time and I was there to tell her that she was doing okay and to just listen to the doctor’s advice to take care of her diet. There were so many struggles she faced throughout her pregnancy and we were stressing over the apartment because buying baby stuff is taking the space of the apartment, so I asked her to move into my apartment that I still keep.
After a week, she agreed to move in, so I called for people to refurbish the rooms so she has a room for herself and a nursery. There was a spare room for her mom that I prepared whenever she wanted to come over and check on her. It took a long time for her to consider my offer because she was attached to the place since she lived there for almost three years. She said this place means a lot to me too and it was true. I fell in love with her when I started living here again. That was also the day we decided that it was okay for us to be intimate and we made love that night and it was possibly the first time where I get to enjoy a meaningful sex with her.
During the 7th month, we started discussing baby names because we do not want to know about the gender yet, how she’s going to give birth and insurance plans that we’re considering for our baby. And the conversation about legal parentings came and I considered talking about marriage with her but felt like it was not the time for that yet.
I decided to buy a ring a week after that, just because, and decided to propose to her during dinner. When I asked her if she wanted to marry me, she looked like she was not expecting any of that from me.
“We can’t get married.” I got rejected but that’s when I feel like I am much worse of an asshole than I thought I was before.
“What if I intercepted the way to your love life when we got married? What if one day your commitment falls to someone else that wasn’t me? What if that happens and our child will have to suffer in a broken home. It is better if we live as co-parents.”
So I told her. “You won’t intercept in the way of anything because the love I wanted was you. I love you and our child and my heart belongs to the both of you. I have been devoted to you since the day I decided to come back here. I don’t think I will want to go through anything I had in the past when a whole perfect you is here with me and our child!” I was so scared at the time because I thought she would push me away again but nothing negative happened and she was just stunned and slept facing the other way that night. It wasn’t really that big of a deal because the next day she told me to drive to the registration office to get married on papers.
This is the reason I said that we never call each other boyfriend and girlfriend because overnight we became parents and then we got married. We were happy, and I didn’t hold back from touching her anymore, and she would kiss me when we wake up, when there are some of the new office workers hit on me I told them I am married and I have a beautiful and very pregnant wife at home and everyone was taken aback because I never bothered to tell anyone about my personal life and they all congratulated me and bought gifts for the unborn baby. My wife even got the chance to join the mothers in her work friend circle and talk about her pregnancy with them.
This part is probably going to be so painful so I apologize if my words are messed up and if I touch people’s hearts with the most painful memory I had about my wife. It was during the birth of our child.
She gave a normal birth but after the baby was safely delivered her blood pressure was all over the place to the point that she was unconscious and was in the ICU for around 3 days. The doctors said something about a cardiovascular dysfunction that happens to pregnant women. I had to sit with her all the time and hold her hand and let’s say that is the single most scary event that ever happened in my life. I couldn’t get up from my chair and do anything, the nurses said my complexion was worse than a corpse and one of the residents who were in charge of taking care of my wife bought me lunch and ate with me as I talked about my wife with him. Her mom arrived at the hospital the next day and told me to sleep somewhere and the nurses were kind enough to let me sleep in an empty hospital ward. I visited the nursery to check on my baby, my little lemon was awake when I saw him and a small smile was drawn on his cute face. I got to hold my baby after he was fed. Since my wife is unconscious the nutrient he needed from my wife should be replaced with baby formula.
I told the nurses if it is possible to take the baby and let it stay close to my wife while she was still unconscious. I hold her hand close to me and kiss her knuckles as I talk to her all about our little lemon and by some miracle her health gets better and she wakes up when the baby cries. Our little lemon is a miracle baby. I cried so hard and promised to her that I won’t ever have to make her go through this ever again.
She finally told her that she loved me when she woke up.
“It would have been so much easier if you loved me earlier, don't you think? We spent too much time pushing each other away, spent too much time waiting for you to come back and we rushed everything when we got together. I am so sorry that I never told you about the feelings I had for you since I was 17. I fell in love too soon and you love me too late for us to do anything about it.”
I felt like what I told everyone about the love of my life is enough. I realized I loved her since the day I knew her but I only acted upon it when I lost everything but her. She was there when I had no one else, she knew me so well to the point that she never hurt me but all my life I hurt her by being with someone else to avoid the feelings I had for her. I thought I could never see her again but her chances and forgiving self gave a place in her heart again no matter how many times I pushed her away. So as a man to possibly more men who probably read this, just give it a shot, tell her you love her. Be responsible if anything happens. To my dear wife, I really hope you don’t read any of this because I KNOW you will make fun of me and ridicule me and I hope that this post will be gone in years so my son doesn’t have to grow up to see this. I love you, wife. And I am so happy I still have a lot of time to prove it to you.