Work Text:
February 25, 2015
“Jihoon?”
Melting sunsets. Wooden benches.
“Yes?”
A pause, then Soonyoung’s voice: “Do you ever look back on our middle school days?”
Singing songbirds. Troubled minds. A reply on the tip of his tongue.
“Yeah, of course.”
Bleeding golden on black roads.
“I miss it. I miss Josh. And Jun, and Hao. I miss everyone.”
The smell of nostalgia.
“Of course, Soon. All of us do.”
. cut .
March 01, 2015
“Do you think they think about us? Or remember us?”
Sinking sofas. The comfort that whispers of home.
“Don’t worry.” So sure. Jihoon sounds so sure. “They’ll never forget about us.”
Because it’s the truth.
. cut .
March 03, 2015
“Does it hurt?” Jihoon asks. Soft grass. Blue skies. “To remember?”
Silence. Loud silence. “Yeah.”
. cut .
March 14, 2015
“I’m a coward.”
“Why? You’re not a coward, Soonyoung.”
Distressed. He’s distressed.
“I’m afraid to reach out again.” Anxious. “Jihoon, I miss them so much.”
Restless eyes.
“Soongyoung, come here.”
Opening arms, at last.
. cut .
March 28, 2015
“Do you reckon we’ll see them again in college?” was Soonyoung’s first question, walking out in bright skies and sunny pavements. “At a Starbucks or something. Sit down, hang out, catch up, you know? I just hope I can see them again.”
“I do, too. We all do.”
. cut .
April 07, 2015
“I’m scared.”
“Why?”
“What if we grow apart as well?”
Jihoon thinks. Thinking is easier than feeling. “If we do, I promise I won’t forget about you. I’m sure the others won’t either.”
Promises are risky.
“What if I do? What if I drift away and I’m too busy to contact you guys? What if I forget you guys?”
A drop of April dew clinging onto a leaf, threatening to fall.
“Soon, you might not be right by my side right now, but I promise I’ll still think about you. I don’t mind if you forget me, as long as I still remember you.”
“You might not mind, but I do.”
“I don’t want to forget.”
The dew falls.
. cut .
May 16, 2015
“I miss them so much…”
“… I know.” Peace. “So do I.”
. cut .
“Jihoon?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for everything.”
“I’ll always be here, don’t worry.”
hoon [call | video | info]
—July 21, 2017—
soon [12:26 PM]
Hoon????
Where r u
hoon [12:42 PM]
hi, hi, sorry
I was out for a while
Coming home rn
soon [12:42 PM]
You gotta tell me next time!!!
I was waiting in front of your house for twenty minutes
hoon [12:43 PM]
Agh, I forgot, okay??
soon [12:43 PM]
haha, why can’t you tell me here? I feel like I’m pushing you by agreeing to meet in person
You’re busy even during the summer
hoon [12:43 PM]
I thought it would be more suitable to tell you in person
soon [12:43 PM]
Should I be worried?
hoon [12:43 PM]
I guess…
soon [12:44 PM]
you’re worrying me
hoon [12:44 PM]
I’m almost home
soon [12:44 PM]
Alright
. cut .
hoon [call | video | info]
—August 15, 2017—
soon [8:57 AM]
Let’s meet up one last time
hoon [9:01 AM]
the usual place?
soon [9:02 AM]
That works
I’ll miss you
hoon [9:02 AM]
I will too
. cut .
hoon [call | video | info]
—September 07, 2017—
soon [4:37 PM]
How’s the new school?
hoon [5:26 PM]
good
Not used to it though
Definitely more… prestigious
soon [5:26 PM]
Of course it is, it’s HYBE
hoon [5:26 PM]
School lunch is better than pledis
soon [5:27 PM]
What did you expect
Anything is better than pledis lunch food
I will take vernon’s cooking over it
hoon [5:27 PM]
Not sure about yours though
Your cooking may be the equivalent of pledis lunch
soon [5:27 PM]
Hey! Rude
. cut .
January 09, 2021
Remove LEE JIHOON from your contacts ?
[yes | no]
Removed.
You promised.
JIHOON, your account has been inactive for (4) years.
Do you want to reactivate it?
[yes | no]
You have (7) unopened voicemail messages from SOONYOUNG.
soon [12:02 AM] - January 01, 2018
Hooooon! It’s been a while. A month? Maybe? Last time was your birthday. Haha. I tried calling you but it went straight to voicemail, so I figured you were probably sleeping. Happy new year! I hope it brings new opportunities for you.
. cut .
soon [9:40 PM] - February 05, 2018
JIHOON! (Inaudible.) Jihoon, oh my gosh, you’ve gotta hear this-
(Shouting.) They’re back! (Inaudible) Jun and Minghao came back for university! You’ve got to come visit sooner or later. (Inaudible.) Come on! No, it’s just voicemail- at least say hi! (Fumbling.)
Jihoon! If you’re listening to this, hi! It’s Jun- no, Hao, you go later (Inaudible.)
Jihoon! We missed you!
(Shouting.) Hao, no, let me go first! Jihoon, we missed you a lot! Hope you’re doing fine in Seoul, please call us again when you have time! Hao’s taking over now.
Hoonie! We’re really sorry we couldn’t reach out sooner-
God, I was having a mental breakdown because of that! (Shouting.) (Inaudible.)
Well, Wen Junhui here accidentally deleted your number-
I swear it wasn’t on purpose! Minghao didn’t even save your contact to begin with!
I don’t save anyone’s contact!
Exactly, that’s just (Inaudible.)
Okay guys, give me my fucking phone back (Inaudible.) (Fumbling.)
Please call us back when you have time! Bye, Jihoonie!
. cut .
soon [7:39 PM] - June 16, 2018
Hey Jihoon! You probably won’t see this again. I’m kind of convinced you switched numbers or something. I really, really hope that by some miracle, I’ll meet you again, or you come back, or you start texting or something. (Pause.)
By the way, Jun and Hao are dating now! Jeonghan and Cheol come by often too. So did Joshua! Oh my gosh, I forgot to tell you. He took a gap year from his university in America and he came to visit us! Everyone was crying. Chan was cursing him out and sobbing and hugging him at the same time, it was so sweet, I swear. I guess they all came back eventually. Jun, Hao, and now Josh. I hope you will too.
. cut .
soon [12:16 PM] - November 22, 2018
Happy birthday Jihoon! It’s been so long. Sorry for not reaching out again. Though I doubt you would see it. Wishing you the best.
. cut .
soon [12:13 AM] - January 01, 2019
Happy new year! Hope you’re staying healthy.
. cut .
soon [2:32 AM] - November 22, 2019
Happy birthday Jihoon! Sending some good luck your way. Wish you’re doing well.
. cut .
soon [4:44 AM] - November 22, 2020
I miss you a lot, Jihoon. You probably won't see this. You haven’t replied to anything in the past few years. I wish- I really wish I could reach out to you again somehow. I hope you understand how much you mean to me. The others, too. The others miss you too. A lot. (Pause.) You should’ve seen Mingyu earlier. He was crying so hard. All of us were. (Rustling.)
We held a birthday celebration for you. You took a while to blow the candles out, though. We stood outside in the dead of night, holding a goddamn cake, waiting for you. Because, you know, if we did it for you, it wouldn’t mean anything. Gosh, I’m sorry. It’s kind of stupid and cheesy, waiting for your breath to be carried to us through the wind and shit. We’re getting older and cheesier.
We also wrote letters. A lot of letters. And notes. They’re in a jar. If you ever come back, I’ll show it to you. Sorry, we really (Inaudible.) Fuck. Sorry. Give me a moment. (Sniffling.)
Happy birthday, Jihoon. You’re twenty now. Time passes so quickly. I hope you’re enjoying today the best you can.
I love you.
SOONYOUNG. You have (1) new message from an unknown sender. (If this number is unfamiliar, report as spam. )
February 25, 2022
Unknown Number [3:47 PM]
Soonyoung, is this you?