Work Text:
Lakeside
It was wrong.
Connor pulled anxiously at the knot cinching his throat. He couldn't breathe. A familiar hand slapped his away from the silk tie.
"Leave it alone." Claire hissed into his ear, but he could still hear the tears that sullied her rebuke. It made his eyes sting and his desire to rip his tie off even stronger.
Their father hadn't noticed his fidgeting yet and while Connor knew that it was better to be scolded by his big sister, part of him wanted their dad to say something.
Anything.
Instead, Cornelius remained distant. Impassive in a way that said he couldn't care less what was happening. It was nothing new.
Another hand, bigger and stronger than his sister's pressed between his shoulders, and Connor looked up into the saddened eyes of his grandpa. In a blink the small boy pressed his face into the older man's stomach, trying desperately to hide the tears he could no longer hold back.
He didn't want to be here.
He sniffled quietly, feeling Claire get pulled into Grandpa's embrace as well. He yanked at his stupid tie again. The small wool suit felt heavy and grating. He wanted it gone. Had since they had left for the church, while they stood beside the grave, and now while they endured strangers in their home.
He wanted all of them gone too.
There were only a handful of faces he recognized- that were family. The rest were intruders as far as he was concerned.
Claire's heat disappeared from his side after a moment and Grandpa continued to soothe him, "Come on now, boy. Go clean your face and we can go for a walk, eh? Get away from this circus. That sound, alright?"
Connor nodded, not able to speak without crying again. He made it halfway to the stairs before he heard a familiar chuckle. He turned and caught sight of his father speaking lowly with a woman he didn't recognize, but she was pretty. Big eyes and red lips, not a hair out of place and her hand was resting gently on his elbow as she responded just as quietly to his dad. And Cornelius smiled and chuckled again.
Connor suddenly heard the shrill cry of his mother.
You were with her again, weren't you!
Cornelius was smiling.
Elizabeth...
No! I'm done with you. The kids are coming with me.
He was smiling...
Hot anger burned in Connor, and he forgot what he was supposed to do. His dad must have sensed his glare and turned to meet his gaze. Connor watched as Cornelius's face fell, growing into that impassiveness that he absolutely hated.
"Connor -"
Cornelius barely finished saying his name before Connor turned on his heel and dashed up the stairs. He no longer cared if he had his father's attention. He didn't linger in his room for long. Just long enough to grab his helmet before he used the back stairs to exit the house from the kitchen. If he couldn't make all the people inside disappear then he could make himself disappear.
Three pairs of eyes followed his escape as his bike flew down the car-littered driveway and out onto the road. Colin Rhodes sighed as he watched his very upset grandson flee his family home as if the hounds of Hell were on his heels. He had the distinct feeling that was his son's doing.
He quickly pulled his car keys from his pocket and toss them to the teenager standing next to him, "Go after him, please. I need to find out what that fool son of mine has done now."
"Jake, try not to get pulled over." The man on Colin's other side cautioned as the teenager jogged to the indicated car.
"Yeah, yeah, old man." Jake flung back as he kept his gaze locked on the boy quickly disappearing in the distance.
Colin felt mildly dubious as his car suddenly spun out of the drive and found himself sharing a long look with Malachy, "I'm going to be bailing him out of jail, aren't I?"
Malachy was unable to contain a smirk. "No, despite appearances Jake knows how far he can push it. It was probably a good idea to send him after Connor anyway, if anyone can understand what he's going through then it be Jake."
Colin nodded duly, remorseful at the reminder that Connor wasn't the only boy in this family to have lost his mother too soon, "I'm glad you were able to come Malachy. I know you didn't have to, but Kathleen has done a world of good for Claire these past couple of days. I wish Connor had spent more time with his cousins. He's become so withdrawn. It worries me."
"Jake was the same way. I don't think he spoke for a month after Emily's passing. He'll bring Connor home, safe and sound." Malachy reassured. His youngest may have been on a wild tear of late, having just gotten out of juvie a few weeks ago, but he would take care of his baby cousin. Of that, he had no doubt, "We'll be in town for a few more days and you lot are always more than welcome up in our part of the world."
"Careful, I might take you up on that," Colin murmured as they headed inside. Taking the kids away from this home and the media mess it had stirred may not be a bad idea... Right now, he just wanted to make sure everyone survived the day.
It wasn't until the house was long out of sight and the streets began to not look as familiar that Connor started to slow his pedaling. Tears streaked down his cheeks, but he found that he didn't care. No one was around to see him cry.
He swept down alleys and through side streets until he noticed the Quikimart gas station as he rounded a corner and realized he wasn't far from the lake. He aimed in that direction, unheeding of how low the sun had fallen in the sky.
He would live on the beach, he decided.
Connor doubted his father would even notice. He didn't know how much longer it took to get to the beach, but he knew he was just exhausted by the time he saw the sand. He dropped his bike without a second thought as he hit the small soft dunes. He trudged down the trail towards the water, finally yanking off the stupid tie and letting it fall carelessly to the ground. His suit jacket followed, then his shoes and his socks.
The sand felt like ice against his feet, but it was better than the constricting leather of the dress shoes. A sharp wind sailed through his shirt, and he trembled but didn't dare go back for his jacket. He made it down to the water's edge, hidden by an outcropping of rocks before he finally just collapsed.
Connor wasn't sure how long he laid there, staring desolately at the lapping waves. If he closed his eyes, then he could almost make himself believe that it was summer, and his mom was spreading the blanket under the umbrella that he and Claire always knocked over. He could believe his mom was still here. He could see her soft smile and block out the dark memories of her muffled cries.
The fantasy was ruined by a sudden thunk of a body dropping next to his. He looked up out of some instinct of self-preservation and was nearly startled at the sight of his cousin.
Jake didn't say anything, which was unusual. Connor was used to the older boy speaking a mile a minute. Silence seemed to bother his cousin, but now he seemed almost serene. It was unnerving.
He watched Jake warily for a moment, but when he didn't do more than chuck a pebble into the water, Connor unfurled from his fetal position as he roughly asked, "Are you here to take me home?"
"Yeah, but only when you're ready," Jake answered quietly, his keen eyes taking in the way his baby cousin shivered. He shifted, grasping the back of Connor's dress shirt as he pulled him up and pressed him against his side while wrapping half his coat around the boy.
Connor resisted faintly, but the warmth of his cousin's body soon had him melting and as much as he didn't want to admit it – he really wanted to be held, "Do you remember my mudder?"
Connor shook his head, "No."
"I didn't think you did, you were real little when she passed. She adored you though." Jake whispered, remembering that his cousin had barely turned seven when it had happened. Now Connor was just a year younger than Jake had been when he had lost his mum, "She'd tell your mum that she'd made a little sprite whenever she'd see youse. She was your mum's twin, you know?"
Connor sniffled, wiping at his eyes, "No... Mom didn't like talking about Aunt Emily."
Jake scowled lightly but acknowledged to himself that his aunt had been pretty torn up at his mum's funeral. He didn't know what it was like having a twin, but the two had been close. Maybe for Aunt Elzabeth loosing her sister had been like losing her other half... He hoped that wasn't the case. He hoped that wasn't why Aunt Elizabeth had been so sad for so long, "I suppose it hurt her too much."
"D - do you miss her?" Connor asked hesitantly, feeling stupid because that wasn't what he wanted to ask. But he didn't know how to ask what he wanted to ask - he didn't know the words to express what he wanted... besides saying: he wanted his mom.
"Every second of every day." Jake murmured distantly resting his chin on top of his cousin's head, "That hurt you're feeling... it won't ever go away. It'll hurt just as much in three years as it does now. You just get used to the ache."
Something inside Connor withered at his words as he choked on another sob. He noticed finally that the sun had set, and the sky was dark. He didn't want to go home. Instead, he burrowed further into Jake's arms. He felt safe with the teenager. Here he could push the bad away.
"It's okay to cry." Jake whispered into Connor's hair, "I still cry for my mum."
Silent tears streaked down Connor's cheeks as if his cousin's permission had opened the flood gate, "I hate him."
Jake stayed silent at his cousin's quiet confession, not having to ask who he was talking about. The tension between father and son was plain to anyone with eyes. If he were honest, he didn't care much for his Uncle Cornelius. He was the very definition of a dick smack.
"It's his fault mom...mom -" Connor choked on his words and another sob fell from his throat.
Jake simply bundled the boy tighter against him. This was an area he couldn't help his baby cousin with – his mother hadn't committed suicide; she'd been killed by an illness that medicine couldn't fix. Jake's anger had laid with the unfairness of not having an enemy to confront. It seemed that Connor had made his father the enemy here. Who knows, maybe he was. He had no idea how the Rhodes household had run in private. Not well, if his Aunt Elizabeth had chosen to leave her family the way she had.
"He's your da. He loves you." Jake murmured hollowly.
Connor merely cried harder because he wasn't sure that was true. It didn't feel true.
"I got you." Jake found himself whispering, remembering his brother saying something similar to him after their mum's funeral, "I got you. It's okay to cry, just let it go."
And Connor did. He cried until he couldn't, wrapping himself around Jake like an octopus. The older boy didn't mind. In fact, he let a few tears fall down his cheeks as he cradled his baby cousin.
Malachy and Colin found the pair much later. The hour had grown late enough to cause worry and truthfully, it was a stroke of luck that they had come as far as they had – the lake was a fair distance from the house.
Jake had Connor's slight frame tucked in his arms like a giant teddy bear as he walked unsteadily to Colin's car. The headlights from Malachy's rental illuminated the way from the parking lot. The young boy had cried himself to sleep and not even the cold would budge him awake.
For a moment, Colin was struck by how similar the two looked – if he hadn't known they were cousins then he would have assumed they were brothers. The same dark hair and bright blue eyes. Right now, the older version of those eyes was watching the adults with a hawkish intensity as he shifted his precious cargo protectively against him.
"He doesn't want to go back," Jake murmured stoutly.
Malachy sighed from beside Colin because he recognized the look in his son's eyes. It was his stubborn glint that appeared when he made a decision that no one else would particularly like, "Jake -"
Colin placed a hand on Malachy's shoulder, "Kathleen is staying with Claire tonight, would it be alright if Connor stayed with the two of you? I can retrieve him in the morning."
Malachy turned appraising eyes on his son and wasn't surprised to see Jake staring pleadingly back. His troublemaker of a son with a heart too big for his own good had suddenly turned into a protective mother hen. It made him want to smile, "Yeah, that's fine. Come on with the both of yees. You've been out in the cold long enough."
He popped open the back door of the rental, unsurprised when Jake slid into the back and kept Connor with him. He'd need to get a pry bar to separate the boys now.
Jake held Colin's car keys out, not paying attention to who grabbed them. Colin collected the jacket and shoes that had been tossed into his passenger seat to give to Malachy. His grandson would at least need shoes comemorning. Connor's bike, he noted had been crammed into the back. He hadn't realized it would fit back there.
It didn't take long to get everything sorted, by the time Malachy and Colin turned to check on the boys again Jake had dozed off as well. His face was pushed up against the glass of the car window, dark lashes resting gently on smooth cheeks, and just below him, Connor's tear-stained face rested on his chest. It would have been a heartwarming sight under different circumstances, but in that moment those two boys fairly broke the older men's hearts.
Colin would talk to his son about taking the kids up to Newfoundland in the morning. A break from the Chicago circus was what his grandkids needed. As he gazed at Jake, maybe what the teenager needed to calm down too.