Work Text:
Mom: Why are you still single
Sunoo: God Mom, at least please say hi to me first!
Mom: Hello Sunoo
Sunoo: Hello mom
Mom: Good, that’s my son
Sunoo: I’m dad’s son
Mom: It’s a pity then, I was just about to transfer additional pocket money to my son
Mom: Guess I’ll just use the money to buy Enhypen photocards then
Sunoo: Ey, I’m just kidding
Sunoo: Kim Sunoo is your beloved son, the prettiest mom on earth
No scratch that, you’re the prettiest mom in this whole universe
Mom: Hm
Sunoo: Just hm?
Mom: Check your notification
Sunoo: Oh it’s coming. Thanks mooom
Mom: Yes
Mom: So why are you still single
Sunoo: Damn I thought you’ve forgotten about that already
Sunoo: What can I say? I just don’t have it
Sunoo: Or you want to look for one for me?
Mom: Is it because nobody wants you?
Sunoo: Why are you being like this :))
Sunoo: Maybe you’re right,
who in their right mind would want to be with someone like me anyway
Mom: Why are you being insecure like this
Mom: I can’t accept that, you’re my most handsome son
Mom: Since I only have one son
Sunoo: :))
Sunoo: Just when I’m about to feel happy that you complimented me
Mom: I’m too lazy to look for a partner for you
Mom: What about Sunghoon?
Sunoo: Sunghoon our neighbor?
Mom: Yes, is there any other Sunghoon that we know about?
Sunoo: Not that I know
Sunoo: You seriously want to offer him to me?
Mom: Why is your response like that
Mom: Usually in drama the kid will refuses
Mom: Saying that they didn’t want an arranged marriage,
but the mom persisted and ended up with them falling in love to each other
Sunoo: Please mom, you watch too many dramas
Sunoo: And why would I refuse when I like him
Sunoo: Why didn’t you do it sooner
Mom: Oh it’s great then
Mom: I didn’t know that you like him like that
Mom: His mom is also okay if you become his groom
Mom: But what if Sunghoon refuses though?
Sunoo: Then I just have to force him until he accepts it
Mom: Pfft
Mom: That’s my son
Mom: It’s settled then. I’ll go to their home first to talk to his mom
Sunoo: Hehehe good luck mooom
Sunoo: I support you 10000000%
Mom: Hm
--
Sunoo immediately grimaces as he reread his conversation with his mother. Force him until he gives up he said. It’ll just make Sunghoon hate him even more.
Yes, Sunghoon hates him.
And there’s no one to blame but himself.
--
"Hoon, mom said she wants me to marry you."
The handsome young man he was talking to only glances at him, then resumes his activities without any intention to respond to him in any way. Sunoo had been sitting quietly beside him for a few minutes, not saying anything. That pair of light brown eyes haven't stopped staring at Sunghoon since his arrival, not caring about the fact that the tall man has completely ignored his presence. As if he’s already used with Sunoo's new habit of always stalking him everywhere, including his behavior that arbitrarily enters his room without permission.
"Why are you not answering? Silence means agree."
This time, a heavy sigh becomes the response to Sunoo's statement. He thought that he could finally coax something out of the man that is also his childhood friend. But unfortunately, silence still followed, not a single word was uttered.
"Mom said she wanted me to marry you because she pitied me who doesn't have a boyfriend until now. Even though the reason why I'm still single is because I'm waiting for you."
Again, heavy sigh could be heard. But this time it was followed by a pair of sharp eyes that are now focused on him, fixing his dark orbs on the little man who had not stopped talking even when he didn't receive any response from the older of the two.
"What do you really want?" he said coldly. Sunoo can feel goosebumps running up his spine upon hearing his tone.
Cold, way too cold.
As if it's not Sunghoon who’s talking.
But Sunoo tries not to show any expression on his face. “I want you to see me Hoon…”
The statement was met with a raised eyebrow. "Then what do you think am I doing now? I'm looking at you," he said with a challenging tone and fire inside his dark orbs.
Sunoo can feel the sting, as if that fire in Sunghoon’s eyes can really burn him from inside. His eyes started to get watery before he can even stop it.
"No, not like this Hoon. You look at me as if I'm a stranger to you. I want you to look at me like before, as if there was only me in your eyes. Where's my old Sunghoon? Please bring me back the Sunghoon that I used to know, I beg you…”
The taller man just snorted at this, as if refusing to believe anything that came out of Sunoo's mouth. "That old Sunghoon is gone, he's dead already. Isn’t this what you want? Sunghoon that is not chasing and waiting for your love again. Now that you've got what you want, why suddenly come back to me again? A marriage? Pfft, don’t be kidding. I don't need your pity."
Tears began to well up in Sunoo's eyes even more when he heard the harsh words that came out of Sunghoon's mouth. But Sunoo is not here to cry, so with all of his might he tried to keep the crystals collected in his eyes from falling.
"No, Hoon, you misunderstood. Please let me explain everything first," he said pleadingly.
"What else is there to discuss? Your answer at that time was more than enough for me. You clearly rejected and dumped me. Aren’t you the one who said that you couldn't accept me, and asked me to accept Jungwon instead? And now, when you know that I'm being dumped for the second time, you say that you want to come back to me? Don't make me laugh. Like I said before, I don't need your pity," he said even more cold than before. There’s a hard look in his eyes that Sunoo can’t penetrate, no matter how hard he tried.
"Sunghoon listen to me first!" The younger shouted at last, started to feel desperate at the seemingly endless debate between the two of them.
The taller just replied with a sinister smile plastered on his mouth. It looks foreign and very evil in Sunoo's eyes. "You don't have to pretend to be nice, I already know how bad of a person you really are."
It felt as if a giant hammer had just hit his chest, making it feel as if his breath had just been knocked out of him.
And don't ask how it feels.
It’s painful.
Really really painful, especially since it came from someone who he holds dear in his heart.
Sunghoon really hates him now.
Unable to contain it any longer, the words that have been piled up inside his heart finally come out like waterfall.
"Yes, you’re right, I'm a really bad person. I’m bad because I said I wanted to let you go for Jungwon, but in the end I let him down because I couldn't erase my feelings for you. I'm bad because even though I've hurt you so much I still dare showing up in front of you, asking for forgiveness and a second chance with you. I'm bad because I can't control my own heart. I’m bad because I have no shame for still liking you and betraying Jungwon who’s done nothing but being really good to me. A person as bad as me doesn't deserve you," he said in a quivering tone, still trying to hold back the sobs from rocking his body, even when the clear beads had insolently rolled down his cheeks. For God’s sake, Sunoo didn't want to look weak like this in front of Sunghoon. It's enough that Sunghoon has think of him as a bad person, he doesn’t need the taller man to witness him in a pathetic condition like this also.
Without warning, all the events from the past few days (or has it been weeks already?) just swirled in his head, as if to mock him who is currently heartbroken.
--
“Sunoo, what happened? Did I do something for you to avoid me like this?"
Currently standing in front of his bed, there is Sunghoon who looks very intimidating in Sunoo’s eyes. He had managed to stop the shorter man before he could run away and avoid him any further. Sunghoon's decision to barge into Sunoo's room even when his mother told him that the younger is sleeping was apparently a right move to make. Instead of sleeping, Sunghoon found the little squirrel watching something on his phone. Sunoo who was surprised by Sunghoon's arrival automatically sat on his bed, too stunned to say anything.
Sunghoon knew, even if Sunoo tried so hard to deny it, that the smaller man was avoiding him. Is still avoiding him, if the way his eyes refuses to meet him is any indication. And now the tall man is determined to find out the reason why his childhood friend was giving him cold treatment like this. He’s ready even if he has to force the truth out of the younger's mouth.
After managed to calm down his erratic heart due to the older’s sudden arrival, Sunoo didn't immediately answer Sunghoon's question. The little man chose to busies himself back with whatever was on his phone, as if what he saw there is far more interesting than the man who’s looking down intently at him now.
“Kim Sunoo. I ask you a question," he finally said after a few minutes still being ignored by the younger. Sunghoon is a person who is known to be kind and always smiling, but when he hears the tone he’s using, it makes him feels like running away. He thinks Sunghoon who is being serious like this feels very intimidating and scary.
He didn’t like it one bit.
"I'm not avoiding you," Sunoo finally answered, but the fact that he still didn't look at Sunghoon remained unchanged, frustating the older.
"Don’t lie. If you're not avoiding me, then why are you refusing to look at me, even now?"
Sunoo took a deep breath before finally lifting his face and looks at Sunghoon right in the eyes. For a few moments there’s only silence that filled the blue room, as if the noise outside had become a meaningless background for the two men that’s currently in starring contest now. It was so quiet that it felt as if Sunoo can hear his own heartbeat.
"I am looking at you now," he said, finally breaking the silence.
But Sunghoon still couldn't accept it. His dark orbs continued to stare at him in silence, as if trying to find something that Sunoo was hiding.
"I know that there's something else you're hiding from me. Or should I say, is there something else you and Jungwon are hiding from me?”
Bingo.
Even if Sunoo tried to cover up his surprise by keeping a straight expression on his face, Sunghoon could see right through him. It’s very clearly that the younger man was hiding something from him. He just needed to find out what.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Sunoo finally said as he walked towards his bedroom door, trying to escape. But unfortunately, Sunghoon was able to read his movements first. The tall man swiftly walked ahead of him, closed the bedroom door and leaned his big body there, effectively blocking Sunoo's only exit.
Damn, there's no way for him to escape now.
"Don't lie, I know there's something between you and Jungwon. Since he started to approach me, you also started to drift away. As far as purposely left us both in the cinema that time. What exactly are you hiding?” Sunghoon sneered in a defiant tone as his long legs carried him forward, inevitably making the shorter man retreats until his back hit the wall behind him. In addition, there was also a pair of strong arms on either side of his head, making him unable to run away.
Even with his cornered state like this Sunoo is still trying to avoid looking into Sunghoon's eyes, until finally the next words that came out from the taller’s mouth made him instantly focus his attention on the man in front of him.
“Or are you avoiding me because of what I said yesterday?”
There was still no answer from Sunoo, his eyes are now directed to the wooden floor of his room, as if trying to deafen his ears from what Sunghoon was about to say next.
"I told you that I would wait for you, however long it takes."
Sunoo's jaw tightened upon hearing this before he finally lifts his head and looking back at the man before him.
“And how many more times do I have to say Hoon, please stop. Feelings can't be forced, so are my feelings for you. Don't waste your time chasing me, because I won't be able to see you as more than a friend."
If you ask Sunghoon how it feels, he’ll answer that it feels as if there are thousands of needles that are currently piercing his heart. Sunghoon thought, Sunoo had hurt him enough today with his words. But turns out he was wrong. Sunoo is still not done yet.
"And I think what you feel for me is the same thing. Maybe you just mistakenly perceive your affection for me as a feeling of love. We've been together for too long, so it's only natural that you misunderstood your feelings for me all this time. You think I'm the person you want. But that someone is not me, Ju. You're just confused about your own feelings."
Sunghoon wants to block his ears from all the nonsense that is spewed by Sunoo. What did he say? Sunghoon misinterpreted his own feelings?
"Please stop."
Sunoo just looked at him confusedly. "What?"
“Please stop with all this nonsense. What did you say? I misunderstood my own feelings? Sunoo, do you really think I'm a five year old kid who doesn't know what love is? Please don't make me laugh. I know you feel the same way, I can see it clearly in your eyes. Have you forgotten that I’m the one who knows you the best, inside and outside? Why did you have to lie?” The older finally snapped and cornered Sunoo even more against the wall. He roughly brought the younger’s hand against his chest and lock it there.
Sunoo can feel it. The way Sunghoon’s heart thumping loudly inside his rib cage, so loud as if Sunoo’s ear is plastered there on his chest instead of his palm.
"If what I feel is not real, then why does it feel as if my heart only beats for you?"
Sunoo was frozen in place by Sunghoon's action. For a few moments there is only silence that fills that room, until finally the words that came out of the shorter man managed to break not only the silence between the two of them, but also Sunghoon's heart.
"But I don't feel the same way Sunghoon. I do love you, but only to the extent of one's affection for his beloved friend. Like I said earlier, I can't see you for more than that."
Sunghoon thought he was the one who knew Sunoo the most. But this person standing in front of him looks and feels very foreign, because the Sunoo he knew wouldn't look at him with this cold gaze. Slowly but surely his feet began to move, taking him away from the taller man who was staring at him with hurt in his eyes. "Besides, I'm not good enough for you Ju. There is someone far better and more worthy of you than me.”
Hearing this, Sunghoon just clenched his jaw so hard that Sunoo’s afraid he might break his teeth. His hand automatically rose to grip the smaller man's arms, way too strong that it causes a small whimper to escape from the younger's mouth. “But I want you, Sunoo. You know yourself how I feel about you. I love you, no one else. There's never been any other person beside you."
Sunoo shook his head weakly as he tried to free his arm from Sunghoon's tight grip, but to no avail. He is no match to Sunghoon. "You're wrong Hoon. There is someone better for you, and you just need to open your heart so you can see that person. I think the important thing is not who you want, but who you need to be by your side all the time."
Silence enveloped them once again. And this time, it was Sunghoon who exhaled tiredly to break the silence. His grip on the younger loosened, as if he was too tired to fight for his feelings. As if the will to fight has completely gone from him.
"It's up to you what you want to say, but one thing is for sure. I know my own feelings better than anyone else. So you have no right to try and control my feelings however you want. I have the right to like you.” He looks at the younger with an unreadable expression on his face, but he’s not finished yet. “And Sunoo, I can accept that you don't feel the same way to me. But what I can't accept is the fact that choose to lie to me. I don't know why you want to make me into someone else's stand-in, even when you know how I feel about you. It’s true that like you, but that doesn't mean you can do me dirty like this. My patience also has limit.”
Sunghoon did say all of this without any meaningful emotion implied in his voice, but why did it hurt so much when he heard it. It’s as if an invisible hand was gripping his heart too tightly, making it difficult for him to breathe.
"Jay has told me everything."
Sunoo’s head snapped at this. And this time, it was Sunghoon who was avoiding his gaze.
"I think I've fought enough until today. Sorry for bothering you. Don't worry, from now on there will be no Sunghoon who always bothers you."
Those were the last words Sunoo heard before Sunghoon walked away, not only out of the room, but also from Sunoo's life.
Without realizing that he was carrying a piece of Sunoo's heart away with him that day.
--
"I don’t know how should I thank Jungwon's dad for what he’s done for us. If it wasn't for him, I would probably be in jail by now. Fortunately, Mr. Lee's scam attempt could be investigated and dismantled by Jungwon's father before all the blame could be put on me. Our family have a lifelong debt to Jungwon's family."
--
"Sunoo... I think I like Sunghoon. He’s kind, and very caring. He makes me comfortable. I think I'll be able to forget Sangyeon if I'm with Sunghoon."
--
"Sunoo, I'm really sorry, Jungwon has gone too far. But he wasn't wrong. I’m the one you should blame. Everything was my fault for thinking that letting go of him is the best choice for his happiness. I shouldn't have given up so easily. If it wasn't for Sunghoon, my eyes probably wouldn't have been opened. I probably will never realize that Jungwon doesn't need anyone to make him happy, that he can determine his own happiness. I didn't realize how lucky I was to have been chosen by Jungwon, that's why from now on I want to fight as hard as I can so that he can be happy with me. I hope you and Sunghoon can also find your happiness. This time, Sunoo, maybe it is you who have to fight.”
--
Sunoo understands, he really understands, that all of this is his own fault. And he also knows that it was already way too late for him to start, because what else was there to fight for? Sunghoon already hates him too much, to the extent that he can’t even stand looking at him for too long.
Sunoo roughly rubbed his teary eyes with the sleeve of the shirt he’s wearing, successfully hiding his face then proceeded to turn his back to Sunghoon. "Sorry for bothering you. I shouldn't be like this. About my mom’s intention for the marriage, please just forget about it. I’m sure she’s not serious. And even if she is, I'll just ask her to drop it."
His voice might not tremble anymore, but Sunghoon can clearly see the way Sunoo hugs himself tightly right now, as if those tiny hands are trying to hold onto the broken pieces of his heart, so they won't fall and scattered around Sunghoon's feet. He has made up his mind to just go and leave Sunghoon in his room.
And then before he can think about it, let alone stop it, his feet have carried him towards the younger, roughly turning the smaller body to face him.
"Don't think you can just leave after once again successfully stealing my heart," he says before finally crashing their lips together. His big hands are cupping the younger's cheeks, as if afraid that Sunoo will slip out of his grasp. Don't imagine a soft kiss full of love, because right now Sunghoon is trying to pour all of his feelings to the younger. Feelings of anger, frustration, disappointment, love, and longing seemed to be mixed into one. Sunghoon wants Sunoo to understand that Sunoo is the center of his world right now.
Sunoo who initially could only freeze from Sunghoon's sudden attack slowly began to return the kiss. He immediately brings his arms around the the older's sturdy neck, while one of Sunghoon's hands slowly came down and wrapped around Sunoo's slender waist, bringing their bodies closer together.
Time seemed to stop between the two of them, only the sound of indecent noises could be heard, as if they are the silent witnesses to the declaration of love that had been locked and waited too long to be released. Sunghoon's kiss is very intoxicating, and Sunoo thought he would never get tired kissing Sunghoon. But unfortunately, the need for oxygen has successfully forced Sunghoon to let go of the two of them before Sunoo actually passed out from the kiss.
Sunghoon pecks his lips lightly one last time before pressing their foreheads together. The rush of breath became the only accompaniment of the silent exchange of love between the two. When he opened his eyes, Sunghoon's closed eyelids and the pair of long lashes that brushes his cheeks gently are the one who greet him. Sunghoon's breath feels warm against his face.
Beautiful. Sunghoon is really beautiful.
“Don't think you can run away from me again. I've spent almost all of my time, my life, and my love for you, so don't expect me to let you go that easily. I've loved you for so long that I can't even think of a single second not loving you. And also, did you forget? You are my responsibility for life, Sunoo.”
--
"Sunoo, Sunoo, when we grow up you'll be my groom, right?" exclaimed the little boy who was currently pushing the swing that is being occupied by another boy with round face.
"No, I like Heeseung hyung," replied the younger one. If he wasn't in a position with his back turned to him, Sunghoon would be able to see that there was a mischievous smile currently plastered on the little’s face, making his cute dimple peeked out from one of his cheeks.
Sunghoon couldn't stop the automatic movement of his lips that were pushed forward a few centimeters. The boy was pouting, but it just increases his cuteness even times more. If his mom was here she would’ve have squealed so hard at the sight of his beloved son. "What is so good about Heeseung hyung compared to me?"
“Heeseung hyung is handsome, kind, and smart. Unlike you, who likes to bother me, always making me angry, I don't like it!"
Sunghoon pouts even harder at this. "So if I don't bother you anymore, you'll like me?"
"No! I still don't want to marry you!"
Perhaps of being too irritated that his body has reacted before his brain could process it, Sunghoon ended up pushing the swing too hard, unintentionally of course, causing Sunoo to fall forward. Everything happened so suddenly that there was no time for Sunghoon to react and prevent it.
Sunoo who was too shocked falls silent at first, before finally a sob escaped his small mouth. "Hueee it hurtsss. Sunghoon meanie!”
Sunghoon, who didn't know what to do, too stunned to do anything, could only sit in silence beside the weeping Sunoo. Tears started to welled up in his eyes, especially after seeing the wounds on Sunoo's knees. Because of the increasing worry he feels, Sunghoon finally break down crying, even louder than the one who got hurt.
The younger boy instantly stopped crying upon hearing the older’s sobs. "Ugh Sunghoon, why are you crying too? I'm the one who's hurt here! And why are your cries louder than mine? You’re such a crybaby, you should be ashamed of that big body of yours," he said while trying to wipe the tears off of the older’s cheeks.
Sunghoon, why is the injured kid ended up wiping your tears? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
"It’s-it’s b-because, you fell because of me. The wound on your knee also looks very painful. W-what if the scar is still there until you grow up? Heeseung hyung wouldn’t want to marry you then," Sunghoon said while still sobbing.
"Eoh, didn’t you said earlier that you want to marry me?" Sunoo asked again. Really, has Sunoo forgotten about the pain on his knee? His focus has shifted entirely to something else.
Sunghoon's crying began to subside, although a few tears still seemed to be running down his chubby cheeks. "But didn't you say you wanted to marry Heeseung hyung?"
"But you said earlier that Heeseung hyung wouldn't want to marry me because I’ll have a scar when I grow up?"
Hearing this resulted in Sunghoon to burst out into another sob, even louder than before.
Sunoo, who saw this, naturally panicked. "Why are you crying again?!"
"Be-because I-I’m the one who hurt you," he said with difficulty, sounding breathless from crying too much.
Sunoo who heard this just smiled and hugged the boy who was bigger than himself. "Yes, that's why, since you're the one who hurt me, then you have to take responsibility. You said you want to marry me when we grow up, right?”
Sunghoon's crying finally stopped when his brain finally managed to digest the meaning of Sunoo's words. His eyes suddenly lit up, as if there are million stars that is shining there. "You’re going to be my groom?" he asked enthusiastically, as if he had forgotten that he had almost finished his stock of tears just a few seconds ago.
Sunoo just smiled prettily as answer. "But you have to promise me first that you will take care of me! Because I'm Sunghoon's responsibility for the rest of your life," he said while holding out his pinky finger which Sunghoon happily linked with his own.
"Um! I, Lee Sunghoon, promise to take care of Ji Sunoo for the rest of my life!”
--