Chapter Text
Sleeping was one of the few things that could put Blake, a struggling highschool workaholic, at ease. It would save her from listening to horrid things in the day.
"Are you even trying?!" Her parents would curse at her, "I do not want a son who is part of those freaks!" They would reprimand her for being who she was. The school she had attended would call her names. "Tr@nny!" They would scream, "What are you?!" They would ask.
Blake didn't want to experience any of it anymore. Only sleeping could put her mind at ease. Only sleeping was able to help her pretend to forget the things that they would say to her. She has never had any friends before. No one in the school wanted to even know her. She would seldom have dreams, and if she was really lucky, she would have one of the good dreams. The dreams in which they leave you smiling when you wake up, or make you think about them when your sad. Sometimes, she would find herself meeting new friends, and living the life she has always wanted. Sometimes, she would have herself a family that would make her so happy she could die. But, those imaginations would have to fade away, and she would have to wake up at some point. She never wanted to wake up. She thought that being trapped in her dream world would be better than living in the real world.
Blake was not the kind of person to do well with pain. She does not do well alone, so though being able to handle it, that doesn't mean she will handle it very well.
Though how much Blake was going through, and how much that everyone knew. They did not bother to care. There was still more work to be done.
Some things just can't be changed, and in Blake's case, it has always been that way.
Blake came home with a black eye and scars on her hands. Her nose was still bloody, but she didn't care. She opened the front door, and immediately beelined for her bedroom door. The time she didn't have wasn't worth listening to her parents bicker with her. She sat down at her desk, and finds herself writing in a spare journal they found within their void of a backpack. Jotting down each word, writing this letter as if it would be her last.
She somewhat hoped it was.
She kept writing till midnight, papers crumpled up and scattered across her bedroom floor. It felt as if all this time, it was only at this very moment when she was finally focused. The pen felt so light it felt as if she would drop it.
She wrote.
All this while it feels as if I have always been hiding this demon underneath, and this demon has been growing ever since I was younger, and up until now its been scraping the level underneath my skin.
And she wrote.
I just wish that I had someone to talk to. I don't even care if it takes me years to find someone, if anything, maybe I would have already figured out what I would say. I just want to find people like me. People who can teach me how to love myself the way my parents loved me when I was their son. I just want to run away into somewhere where I can be myself. A girl.
And she wrote.
Her grip on the pen was becoming weaker and weaker each word she wrote. It felt as if she had been writing for years and years. Maybe she almost has been. She cursed at herself. Keep your eyes open. Keep your damn eyes open.
But her eyes drifted shut anyway.
Her eyes opened. She was awake. Her vision was blurry, but she was awake none-the-less.
There, she felt the calmest she's ever felt in years. She laid atop green grass, flowing lazily in the open breeze. Trees surrounded her...
Along with two more people.
"Is she alright?!"
"Yeah I think she is...?"
Blake backed away, her hand itched instinctively for something to hold, her eyes widened in shock and confusion.
One boy, a lean thing, a tall thing. His face still contained some slight trace of boyhood, he could not be older than 16. Near Blake's age. Intertwined in his brown curls were a circlet made from browning leaves. His golden eyes, though looking unnaturally focused, there was something about his presence that calmed Blake. He just looked curious, as if Blake was some piece of literature that this boy was picking apart at in his head.
And then there was a girl. Everything about this girl was perfect - to Blake, at least. Her dark, dirty purple colored hair cascaded down her back, long and beautiful. The golden sunlight was caught within the flaring parts of the girls hair, creating a golden crescent within her them. Her skin was dark and beautiful; her periwinkle eyes looking right through Blake's olive ones. When Blake set eyes on her, it felt like all her problems were left to fade away in her memory. Something awoke in her. A feeling, alike a yellow orb that was destined to be awoken by someone. The orb has always been left to collect dust, sitting in the corner of her mind. But now, it was awake.
It was alive.
It was growing.
The girl's lip was lifted slightly into a smile.
"Hello? Are you alright?" The girl asked as she pushed away one of the strands of hair out of Blake's face, revealing her reddened cheeks. Blake didn't know what made her like this girl so much, hell, she didn't even know where she was. Was it this girl's pretty face? Her voice? Or was it her friendly, calming, comforting presence? - alike a hug from a long lost friend.
"Where... am I?" Blake asked.
"Oh... She's going through that phase." The boy said, with a nervous chuckle within his voice. "Alright!" He took a deep breath.
"Hello there, my name is Damian, and this right here is my best friend Jordan!" The boy gestured to him and his friend.
"What's your name?" Jordan asked.
"Blake...? Where am I?" She continued to ask.
"Alright. Now this might sound fake, but you are in the dream world! A world in where all the lost and lonely live like the kings, queens, and royalty of tragedy, just like you, me and Jordan!" Damian explained.
Blake's breath was caught in her throat. She was asleep, and she was conversating in her dream! Everything felt so real, it felt as if she was within the real world. It was as if she was talking to real people. They looked real, felt real, had a realistic presence, everything. It felt to real to not be thought about.
Blake's mind was just playing another trick on herself! It's nothing. In the morning, she would wake up and be fine like normal. It's just that the thought of waking up in the morning, needing to leave this dream world of hers just to go and relive the same pain she does every single day, it made her feel something close to regret.
"Do you wanna stay here and hang out with us for the time?" Jordan asked, letting her hand out for Blake to grab.
"Take me with you." Blake inquired. "If hanging out with you two hep me forget that I have to wake up at some point, then I would hang out with you two forever."
"Awesome! Follow us to our lair." Damian called, a wide smile plastered to his face. Though he looked to be as old as Jordan and Blake, he really acted like a happy child.
The three of them walked through this dense forest, the sunlight seeping in between the tree-tops. Blake wasn't the kind of person to chat while walking, they stayed silent as they walked behind the others. Finally, to get rid of the silence, Damian pulled out a flute. He had been playing the flute ever since he found himself walking through this dream world of his.
"Hey, look at what I can do!" He called. Then, he looked up and started listening to the birds chirping in the afternoon sunlight. He found a certain chorus within the song, and started playing along. He did not copy the songbird, instead, he played his own found melody along with it. Trying not to care about how he was doing, his playing skills were not the best in the slightest. But still, he kept on playing, the bird kept on singing, and Blake kept on listening. It felt like it became it's own song. Maybe, if Blake ever gets home to the real world, she would make something more of this melody that she was hearing.
"You can play the flute?" Blake started.
"Always could have! I started learning in the real world, so I just thought of playing in this dream world. It's a dream world after all," he explained, "Playing the flute is actually the reason I met Jordan!" he said.
Jordan's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "Oh, don't get him started..." she turned to Blake, no real annoyance behind her words. She was embarrassed, of course, but in the full truth, she could not stop Damian from telling this story.
"I honestly thought I was alone in this dream, so I thought maybe I could finally play the flute in peace. I guess my flute playing called Jordan to me." The boy explained, putting his flute away back in it's holder, "She just started to sing in the tune I played with!"
The idea of Jordan singing made Blake's heart stutter. Her voice was already soothing, so Blake could only imagine what Jordan would sound like singing.
"What song were you playing?" Blake managed to ask.
"It wasn't a particular song. I was just playing with a songbird, I guess Jordan just thought of words? They did sound very fitting for time like that." Damian said, nudging the girl walking beside him, in which earning a 'thanks' from Jordan.
"I don't know, I was just walking through this dream world of ours until I heard your melody. I just decided to express myself with your music." Jordan replied, kicking a stone away from the path the three were walking on.
"...How did it go?" Blake asked, curious to hear their musical skills.
After convincing Jordan to sing, Damian pulled out his flute, and he started to play the starting melody. It was a soft one, one that felt indescribable. It sounded like finally finding somewhere where you can truly call home, somewhere where you can settle down and be happy. It was calming. And before Blake thought it couldn't get any better, Jordan started the words, the same way she did when Damian and her met.
You are the land and the sea,
The forest trees penetrating the sky,
You are everything to me,
This world is where dread comes to die.
Everyone born here is free,
Remnant of calamity show now and then,
Please, come back to me, my dear,
Until we meet again.
Blake didn't have to imagine Jordan's singing voice anymore. The girls voice was nothing but angelic and calming. The lyrics too were familiar to Blake, yet she hasn't even heard of this tune before.
"Wow..." Blake said in awe.
"I know right?? That was awesome!" Damian exclaimed, jumping high in the air before putting his flute back into it's holder.
"Jordan, your voice is..." Blake halted, trying to figure out what word to say.
"...Is what?" Jordan asked, worrying for the worst.
"Amazing..."
Jordan's faced flushed, though this time not in embarrassment, but in fondness.
"Thank you...! I've never gotten a compliment like that..." she said, calmly.
The two girls stared at each other. It felt like time had stopped, and that everything that was happening around them stopped to watch them look at each other. They both stared into each others' eyes, until Damian finally broke the silence with very high-pitched flute playing.
"That was very cute, but we don't have all day, girls," he said, "C'mon! I wanna show Blake our home!" he truly did carry the energy of a little brother.
Jordan and Blake exchanged looks before laughing and following Damian quickly behind him.
Finally, they reached their destination.
A tree-stump.
"Uhh... Are we here yet?" Blake asked, confused.
"Yep, come on then!" Jordan called, lifting the top of the tree-stump upwards, revealing a small opening with a stick-lever within it. The girl pulled the lever, revealing a pathway lit up with lights Damian put up himself.
The three of them ran through the warmly lit up pathway, the breeze whipped at their cheeks. Blake had never breathed that easily in years. Then, heralding behind the bend of a corner, there was a small wooden cottage, probably big enough to fit only four people. Fairy lights taped up to the wall, plants growing in a planter on the small window-sill. Everything looked homemade, from the path to the house itself. Inside, it was emptier than Blake anticipated it to be. Sleeping bags, a lamp, some notebooks, and other trinkets to be left within Blake's hazy memory.
"Wow! You really have made this place a home."
"Thank you, this place has always been home to me and Damian." Jordan started, looking upon her home behind Blake.
"There's an extra sleeping back over there, you can use that if you may. Unless you want to sleep on the ground." Damian said, pointing to a cabinet.
Before Blake could say anything else, Jordan ran over to a desk, and pulled out three hair clips, one a star, one the moon, and the last the sun. She ran back to the entrance where her friends stood in confusion.
"Here, something to remember this world by! If you want to bring your memories around, just bring this." She handed them both to Damian and Blake, then they all put them in their hair. Damian wore the sun, Jordan the moon and Blake the star.
"We won't forget this, right?" Blake asked, somewhat worried.
"No, never. This dream is special. We won't forget it, we promise." Her friends answered.
And then they all woke up.
Usually, in happy dreams like that, Blake would forget them easily, but this time she remembered all of it. From the time she first saw Damian and Jordan, to the time Jordan gave them their hair clips.
Though groggy, Blake got up from her bed and got ready for school. When she looked in the mirror to wash her face, a little star was still intertwined in her red locks of hair. Maybe that's how she remembered everything from that dream. Despite wanting to keep it on for the day, she left her clip within her closet as to not be found and thrown away by her parents and to be taken away by students or teachers at school.
She quickly grabbed a tumbler of water from the kitchen counter, and she was off. She takes a look inside the house sometimes before she leaves, because sometimes, she wishes that her parents were there to greet her good morning or say goodbye to her on her way to school. But even though there was no one there, Blake still had to go, so she didn't bother waiting. Sometimes it doesn't really hurt anymore.
Sitting inside the bus, she looked out the window to see the sun rising. Dawn came soon enough, and just like dawn, so did people. People came onto the bus, sitting and talking amongst themselves, while Blake sat alone. It was alright, Blake wasn't about to care about something she shouldn't. She was busy thinking about her dream-friends. Just the thought of them made Blake extremely happy. But still, there was this forever sickening thought that these friends of hers aren't real.
'I miss you already.' Blake breathed with laughter to herself.
It took the bus an hour to get to school, and once they had arrived, Blake had already convinced herself to foolishly believe that today would be different from the other days she's spent believing the same thing over and over again. The hallway was bombarded with people talking to their friends. Two boys approached her. These boys were the most familiar to Blake, not because they were nice to her, but it was because they would constantly bully her for being herself. There was no good reason as to why they would call her names, they just did.
Of course they started screaming words of hatred, but their words came out incoherent from the rest of the hallway.
But what was the point of listening anyway? Blake taught herself to ignore the words she hears everyday. It was the best option she had.
"You know I can't hear you, right? Your words just blend in with the rest." Blake said, raising her voice for the two to hear. Apparently, the boys did not like that, and Blake was met with a hard slap in the face.
"That should teach you to listen better." One of them said to her before tipping their head, howling with laughter as they walked passed her. Her cheek was sore, yet she continued to not care.
Then, she walked to her classroom, where it seemed like the people there were waiting for her so they could just stare at her in disgust. She would sit down at her table, and even though there wasn't any whispering anymore, she was still belittled for being who she truly was. A girl.
"I don't see a point in lying, Blake! You are a boy! You can't be in denial forever. You would have to accept the fact that you will never be a girl. That's just how things work." One of them shouted to her, a sick taste emerging in her throat.
"Well, no one really asked for your opinion. You're just trying to fit in with the others, because... you know. You're just different, like me." She said back. That shut that bully's yap in no time!
Sometimes, this would continue for months. People would try and break into her shell, to try and hurt her, to try and get into her head. But, they would usually fail. Blake has gotten so used to these negative words about her that she knows just what to say incase someone says anything like such to her. Sometimes, she would end up dealing more damage to the bullies than the bullies dealt to her themselves. And sometimes, she would get ahead of herself, and the words she said would backfire, hurting her even more than the bullies words themselves. But in the end, there was always a sliver lining to all of this shit she was going through. Once she went into her room and locked her door, and once the wait for the day to end was finished, she would find herself talking to the found family of her dreams.
It's all the same, and sometimes Blake would lose hope in believing that things would change.
She was just getting bored of waiting for things that were damned to be the same for all of time to change.
"What are you doing in your room, son?" Father asked Blake as she walked into her room.
Gods... that word has always never sit right with Blake.
She was never a "son".
She was a daughter, and she was tired of pretending she wasn't.
But even though her parents and school did not accept, she had accepted herself, and that's all that matters. To her, at least.
"You're always in your room, you don't talk to me and your mother anymore." Her father told, untellable heat behind his words. Many answers to that question flooded Blake's mind.
Because I would rather be alone than talk to you.
Because after everything I say, you always find a way to hurt me.
Because I can tell that you only want to criticize me for who I am.
Because you just can't help calling me your 'son'.
Because I do not want to waste my time hearing you and mom fight with me about my identity.
"Because I have lots of homework, everyday." She said instead.
And then she walked into her room.
She dropped her bag down in a dark corner of her room. Her eyes jolted for a small keyboard in another corner. One that has never been touched in years. After uncovering it, it revealed an old keyboard that has been left in the dust. Suddenly, memories came back to her. Many. The times when she would play for family gatherings, for her school, everything.
She started playing.
Suddenly, she remembered Jordan and Damian's song. She tried her best to remember how it went, and she started playing it.
"You are the land and the sea..." She sang, "The forest trees that penetrates the sky."
"You are everything to me," Jordan's voice sung with Blake's in her head. "In this world, dread comes to die."
"Everyone born here is free, remnant of calamity show now and then." Blake started harmonizing with the voice in her head.
"Come back to me, my dear..." Jordan's voice became quiet, and now, it was only Blake.
"Until we meet again."
Blake smiled proudly.
"Until we meet again..." Blake mumbled to herself. "Whenever that is... I hope it's tonight." She said to herself.
Jordan and Damian were like family to her now, and they aren't even the closest of friends yet. That may just show how lonely Blake may be. She has never had a real friend before, so considering people from her own dreams as family was something rather close to sad.
But at least it wasn't as lonely anymore.
Little did Blake know.
Jordan and Damian were not only figments of her imagination.
They were real people.
And it seems like their fate is to meet in the end...