Work Text:
It had been a long way to what he finally managed to call “home”. Yet… the fact alone that there was such a place in his lifetime, for him… even now Fai sometimes had a hard time grasping the fact. Even now, after so much time living in Nihon, together with the only person who had ever been able to look past all the pretending, all the fake smiles and happiness. The only person who managed to crack open the walls he had built around his heart, his whole being. The one who made him feel whole again.
Kurogane Youou.
Fire and ice
This love is like fire and ice
This love is like rain and blue skies
This love is like sun on the rise
This love got me rolling the dice
They had started out on a journey together. A journey which in the beginning had been involuntary at best. Especially from Kurogane’s perspective. The warrior had not left out one opportunity to remind them that his goal was returning to his world. Something Fai couldn’t relate to. Then again, if he would have lived the life the other did, maybe he would think the same. Sometimes the mage caught himself imagining how it would have been to have a happy life, a happy childhood. Anything would have been better.
Kurogane and him. They were basically opposites, their differences couldn’t be bigger. Never before had Fai met someone like that, who wore his feelings open on his face. Who said exactly what he felt. Who hated schemes and falseness. Oh, it had been so easy to poke and prod him verbally. So easy in fact, that it came like a second nature to Fai, sometimes even catching him off guard how close he wanted to be to the other. Kurogane was the fire, the sun, while he was like ice, trying his best to keep him at arm's length, so that he wouldn’t be burnt by the intensity coming from the man. At the same time he started to wonder if maybe, just maybe, Kurogane would be able to look past his flaws.
Don't let me lose
Still falling for you
Still falling for you
Beautiful mind
Jumping from world to world, all the new experiences, fights and people they met, left almost no time to really think about themselves. The worry about the princess occupied most of their days. Only sometimes he caught himself looking at the man with the red eyes thoughtfully, thinking about if there might be something more. Something he never felt before. Something warm, like a little flame inside his frozen heart.
Your heart got a story with mine
Your heart got me hurting at times
Your heart gave me new kind of highs
Your heart got me feeling so fine
So what to do
Still falling for you
Still falling for you
He had wanted to die for a long time, yet was too much of a coward to just end his life. At least that was what Fai liked to tell himself. His life was worth nothing, he shouldn’t even be here. The guilt of surviving hurt more than any injury he had ever received, more than any spite and any curse directed towards him.
Oh, he had come so close. Losing his eye felt almost like a relief. Laying there on the bed, closer to death than to life, all he wanted was to just go to sleep and never wake up. Like he should have done for so long. Never in his wildest dreams Fai would have imagined that there could be someone who wanted him to live. Someone who would give his own blood for him. Who would bind himself to a man that had lied and schemed, who had been sent by the person responsible for so much heartache. No, Fai wasn’t worth all this. He couldn’t handle it and reacted the only way he knew - retreating behind the wall of ice he knew all too well. It was better that way. They were better off without him. He wasn’t worth the warm feeling of being important to anyone.
It took us a while
With every breath a new day
With love on the line
We've had our share of mistakes
But all your flaws and scars are mine
It had been close, too close. The world fell apart around them, crumbling into nothingness. “Go.” He had meant it with all his heart. His own life didn’t mean anything to Fai, yet he didn’t want for him to die with him. No, not anymore. Despite the anger the magician felt towards the warrior for deciding that he wasn’t allowed to die, he was not willing to pull him down with himself. No. The other had every reason to live, had a home to return to. Blood spilled over Fai’s lips and he didn’t even have the strength anymore to keep himself up. “Go.” He repeated and intense eyes stared at him, piercing and unyielding. Time seemed to stop when blue met red. Then the grip on his arm loosened and a sad smile spread on Fai’s face. He knew it. In the end they were all the same. Still… he was happy.
Still falling for you
Still falling for you
And just like that
All I breathe
All I feel
You are all for me
I'm in
And just like that
All I breathe
All I feel
You are all for me
Looking back, he should have known better. Instead of moving away, instead of getting to safety, Kurogane’s face turned grim and without any further hesitation he swung his sword. Fai’s eyes popped wide open, expecting to be cut down just like his king only moments before. Yet… nothing like that happened. He could only watch in bewilderment as the warrior cut off his own arm, right in front of Fai. It went flying, by his head, right into the dying world. Together with the sword covered in Kurogane’s and the king's blood.
No one can lift me, catch me the way that you do
I'm still falling for you
What happened after that, Fai wasn’t sure he could put it into words. All he remembered was being grabbed by the front of his cloak, lifted up and pulled towards a face full of a grim smirk. Did Kurogane say something? He didn’t know, couldn’t hear anything. Colors started swirling around them before everything turned into black for a moment.
Brighter than gold
This love shining brighter than gold
This love is like letters in bold
This love is like out of control
This love is never growing old
The next thing he knew was him kneeling next to an unmoving body, bleeding from where the right arm used to be. No. That couldn’t be happening. Kurogane couldn’t die. This was not what he wanted. He should be the one in his place. “Please…” His voice sounded incredibly weak, scratchy and full of panic. “Someone… someone help…” Don’t let him die. Don’t let him die. “He won’t die.”
You make it new
Still falling for you
Still falling for you
It took us a while
Because we were young and unsure
With love on the line
What if we both would need more
But all your flaws and scars are mine
Still falling for you
Still falling for you
Still falling for you
Her voice was sweet and gentle, her eyes full of comfort. Somehow Fai knew right away who she was. Princess Tomoyo. The one who was responsible for sending Kurogane on the quest. Oh, how long had it been since then? He couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered apart from the fact that he would have to survive. He just had to.
And just like that
All I breathe
All I feel
You are all for me
I'm in
All of a sudden it became so very clear to Fai and he understood. It was like the veil in front of his eyes lifted and for the first time in his life he could see clearly. Why Kurogane had saved him, over and over again. Why he had not been able to kill the warrior. Why they were bound together for life. Why the man in front of him wasn’t moving. He had been so blind.
And just like that
All I breathe
All I feel
You are all for me
No one can lift me, catch me the way that you do
I'm still falling for you
The days until Kurogane woke were agonizing at best. Despite the constant assurances that the healers stabilized him and stopped the bleeding, every minute without the snarky comments and smirks felt gray and empty. Oftentimes Fai found himself on the roof, contemplating his realization. What would that mean for them? How should he address it?
The stars sparkled above his head and he lifted his head, staring up into the dark sky. This time he wouldn’t let it slip through his fingers, Fai thought. Not this time. He hesitated too often, made too many mistakes. No, it had to stop. Now. A gentle smile, not like the ones he had faked for too long, tugged on his lips. Never had he thought he could feel something other than self hatred again. Now it was all clear to him. He knew what he had to do. What he wanted to do.
Falling, crash into my arms
Love you like this
Like a first kiss
Never let go
Falling, crash into my arms
The moment he got his hand on Kurogane, he hit him. An amused look spread on his face when he saw the confusion and surprise on his warrior’s face. His warrior, Fai thought. A good thought. A good feeling. Something he wouldn’t let go. Never again. “Payback.” A smile. “Tch.”
Never breaking what we got
Still falling for you
Still falling for …
They never really needed big words. Not between them. Not anymore. It was like they just knew. Sacrificing the rest of his magic to get Kurogane the arm he had given to save Fai was the least he could do. Seeing the content look on his face alone was worth it. “Let’s go. There is still a princess to save.” Yes , Fai thought. I will go with you. To the end of the world and beyond.
And just like that
All I breathe
All I feel
You are all for me
A blanket fell onto his shoulders and Fai looked up. “It will get cold soon.” A gruff voice said as its owner settled down beside him, holding out a small cup for him. Fai took it, sipping the liquid slowly while turning back towards the garden. Warmth spread in his body and he slowly slid closer to the man beside him, laying his head on his shoulder. “Welcome home.” He said softly, his voice full of love. An arm was placed around his body, gently holding him. “I’m home.”
Still falling for you.