Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Singing. It seemed as if that were the only thing that April was able to do anymore.

Ever since she had been transplanted into the body of the king of the Shadow Kin, Coranikus, everything about her life had changed. For one, she could tell that all her friends looked on her in horror whenever they saw her. They tried to hide it, but April knew.

She knew that when Tanya looked at her, she saw her dying mum.

She knew that when Charlie and Quill looked at her, they could only see their dying world.

And Ram. When Ram looked at her, he saw everything he'd lost. His dad, Rachel, his leg. Her.

Even her own mum, though she tried to deny it, couldn't look past her new body. When Charlie had opened the Cabinet of Souls, every piece of Shadow in the world was destroyed, including that which allowed her mum to walk again.

Music, the one unchanging thing that she always had, was gone. Her stone fingers (she never thought she'd think those three words in succession) were too large to effectively play piano keys. They were too clumsy for the violin. She'd broken three strings the first time she'd tried playing and was too disheartened to give it another try.

Only her voice remained. It was the one thing that had stayed after her transformation.

She looked forlornly over at her bed, where her previous body lay. It was uninhabited, effectively dead. The transfer between her and Corakinus had been one-way. She supposed that was better. She wouldn't have to deal with the king of the Shadow Kin anymore. But it still brought her a feeling of sadness, looking at her body.

She didn't know if she should bury it. There was no soul there. Everything that she was had been transferred into her new, stone body. But she felt she should onto it. In case she needed it. Perhaps there was some way to return her soul to its proper place. It was unlikely, but if there was a chance, she had to take it.

***

Ram looked down at his father's empty casket before looking up at the crowd gathered. He cleared his throat. It was his duty to recite three prayers at the ceremony: Ardas, Japji, and Kirtan Sohila. He wouldn't be the only one praying, but as his father's son, he'd be expected to lead.

It was funny. He could play football so easily, yet when it came to something like this, he just seemed to fall to pieces.

This wasn't what his father's funeral was supposed to be like. Ram had avoided thinking about the possibility of him ever dying, but he hoped that he could be a faithful son if anything happened. They couldn't cremate him; they couldn't bury him in the Sikh tradition. There was, quite literally, nothing left of him. Nothing to bury.

He sighed and raised his face to the crowd. It was time to begin.

***

Tanya was in much the same boat as Ram. Not literally, of course. That would be ridiculous. Unlike Ram, however, she had her brothers with her. She'd had to explain the past semester to them; all the aliens she'd fought.

Some things never seemed to get better.

***

Charlie was mourning for the second loss of his people. Both had been to the Shadow Kin: the first in slaughter, the second in vengeance. He was responsible for the second, but as prince of Rhodia, he felt indirectly responsible for the first as well.

He hadn't talked to Matteusz since the final battle, and he was unsure if they would speak again. Surely, they would. They had to. They loved each other. But the fear in Matteusz's eyes after what Charlie did kept him awake at night. Matteusz had said he was afraid of Charlie and now Charlie had seen that fear first hand, and that terrified him all the more, for he couldn't bear to lose his friend.

Chapter Text

April tapped her foot, anxiously waiting for Ram to arrive. But when he arrived, what could she say? 'Sorry I look like the monster that killed everyone you held dear but come hold me close.' That wouldn't work.

A knock on her door stopped her train of thought, and after a moment, Ram cautiously stepped in. He'd taken off his turban from the funeral, but the somberness in his eyes was still there. There were dark patches under his eyes as if he hadn't gotten sleep in a long time.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey."

There was an awkward silence until Ram finally broke it. "So, have you decided what you're going to do with it?"

April glanced at the bed, where her prone body lay. "Not yet. I was hoping there was something I could do to restore myself."

"What about that Doctor guy?"

"The one who gave you your leg?"

"Yeah. Maybe he could rig something up."

"I don't think so. Besides, you've done nothing but complain about that leg since you got it. Do I really want him to give me a new body? What if I end up as, like, a robot or something?" She tried to offer a smile at her weak joke, but her new body didn't let her smile. Corakinus likely never had many reasons to smile.

Ram looked shocked at her words. "Complained? If you had a passive-aggressive leg, you'd complain too!"

"I know Ram, that's not what I meant. I meant--"

"I know what you meant, April. I'm sorry." There was another long pause.

"You know what the worst part of this is?" she asked.

"What?"

"I can't use my phone anymore. It's like they only designed the touchscreens to work with human skin, not stone."

Ram forced a smile. April knew it was hard for him. It was hard for all of them, but out of everyone (besides herself of course), she knew her appearance impacted him the most. They hadn't fallen in love because of each other's looks. It was more because of their shared experiences. And their looks, to some extent. But it had grown so far beyond that. Out of her friends, April felt like Ram was the one she could trust the most. Not with secrets and such, but with her soul.

"I love you," she said.

He looked at her for a long moment before he mumbled, "I love you too."

April fumbled with her hands the way she always did when she was nervous, but her hands felt too clumsy, and the action just reminded her of her newfound condition. "How's football going?" she asked.

It was the wrong question.

"Still trying to get back on the team. Able to make a few goals now." The answer was short, and April knew why. Ram's father had died when they had been practicing football.

There was another long break in the discussion.

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to," April said. "I get it."

"That's the thing. You don't." Ram leapt to his feet and ran his fingers through his hair, "My dad died. Rachel died. When I look at you, all I see is--" He paused, trying to find the words. "I love you, April. But I can't look at you like this. I have to go." With that, he ran out of the room, without another look at April's face.