Chapter Text
“Do you want help with your shoes?” Yoongi asked as he watched Jongseob struggle to shove his feet into the tiny footwear. The shoes were probably too small. Jongseob was growing so fast, he’d already outgrown most of his winter clothes. And spring was just around the corner. Yoongi knew none of the clothes he’d worn last year would fit anymore. He’d have to go shopping soon.
“No tanku,” Jongseob replied. He was still struggling, but he was making progress. They weren’t late for daycare dropoff yet. Yoongi could let him have his independence today.
“We need to stop and pick up some Valentines this afternoon so you can hand them out to your class in a couple of weeks. What do you think, Bluey?”
“Suckers,” Jongseob said, nodding his head firmly.
Yoongi grinned down at him. He was only three years old but he already knew his priorities.
“Right, we’ll find some that include candy. Almost finished there, bud?”
“All done!” he announced, standing up and pretending to dust off his knees like Yoongi did whenever he knelt down to Jongseob’s level. Yoongi couldn’t help but marvel at how cool kids could be. The way Jongseob picked up on and repeated the little things that the adults around him did was just amazing.
“Alright then, let’s go. Miss Yoojin is waiting for you.”
Stepping outside with Jongseob’s little hand wrapped in his much larger one, Yoongi shivered but not from the cold. It was the first day of February, and February was Yoongi’s least favorite month.
As soon as the calendar flipped from January over to this godforsaken month, everything always went to shit. Work became a nightmare, shopping was impossible, and everyone he knew was suddenly too busy to watch Jongseob for a few hours so Yoongi could enjoy some alone time. And worst of all, Yoongi could sense someone out there thinking of him, trying to figure out where he was and how he was feeling. Because, of course, it was the start of mating season.
Over a century ago the elders of several small villages noticed a lack of young wolves mating. Courting was going out of fashion, thus mating season was created to encourage people to mate. The villages held bonfires and feasts to celebrate, and eventually those traditions evolved into street fairs and festivals in smaller towns.
Nowadays, in bigger cities like Yoongi’s, mating season was not celebrated like it used to be, but it was still observed. Every February, school children were taught how to make courting gifts in art class, and for the adults, shops sold nicer, more expensive versions.
Yoongi couldn’t even escape reminders of the holiday at work. (And yes, it was a literal holiday.) Most non-essential businesses closed for up to a week to celebrate, even if all of the employees had been mated for years, and many younger people of mating age were granted vacation leave if fate happened to bring them their mate.
For the entire month of February, it was all anyone could talk about, and some tended to stick their noses where they didn’t belong.
Yoongi couldn’t keep track of the number of times a client had pointed to the pictures of Jongseob on his desk, more often during mating season than any other time of year, and asked how old he was. It was a bit easier to fend off questions now that Jongseob was getting older, but the first couple of years the clients would hear three months or fifteen months and they’d give Yoongi a knowing look, one that said I know what you were doing during mating season. Inevitably, their gaze would fall to Yoongi’s neck and notice the smoothness of his skin, and the look would sour.
He understood why. Yoongi had produced a child during mating season without actually mating. His situation was confusing to conventional folks, misunderstood, especially in a society where mating was rarely questioned. Regardless of age or choice of mate, mating was almost always celebrated.
But Yoongi’s union with Jongseob’s other biological contributor was nothing to be celebrated. In a moment of weakness, due to the societal pressures of mating season and the gloomy mood his unattachedness always brought on this time of year, Yoongi had found himself a companion.
A very short-term companion.
In fact, it was so short-term that the alpha had been gone the next morning when he had awoken, sore and sad that he still hadn’t found a proper mate. The jerk hadn’t even stuck around for a full night.
Several weeks later, Yoongi received the good news from his doctor that Jongseob was on the way.
He’d only been twenty years old at the time, on his own in the city, far from any family to support him. And the next mating season had been even worse.
Jongseob was 3 months old by then, not even sleeping through the night yet. Yoongi was dealing with sleep deprivation and exhaustion, a brand new job since he’d lost his old one when he went on medical leave (something that would never have happened if he’d been mated), and on top of all that, his destined mate had finally decided to show up during mating season.
Over the decades since mating season’s conception, wolves had evolved to recognize their destined mate’s proximity during the season. There was a pull, a longing each wolf felt to find that mate if they were closeby.
Tradition dictated that the omega would make the first move, and Yoongi would definitely not be doing that. He didn’t know this alpha, didn’t trust people all that much anyway, and he already had his hands full with an infant. So, he chose to ignore that pull.
The next year was more of the same. He felt the pull, but with a toddler running around destroying anything breakable and his only friend finally finding his own mate, Yoongi ignored it again.
The first couple of years it was easier to ignore. He was distracted, and the pull wasn’t that strong yet. The alpha seemed to be giving him the space he needed. But the third year was rough.
It was unexpected, the strength of the pull that third year. Jongseob was two years old, still getting into everything and wreaking havoc on Yoongi’s home. Yoongi’s friend had plans with his mate again, which was good for him. Yoongi was happy for his friend, but it meant that the need he felt to find his alpha had to be pushed aside again.
No one was around to watch Jongseob for him, and he certainly wasn’t going to bring a stranger to Jongseob, destined mate or not.
As mating season dragged on, Yoongi began feeling sick at the thought of missing out on a chance to find his alpha. He looked up babysitting services, but the more he considered it, the more he realized that his alpha might not want to mate with him if they found out about Jongseob. He’d heard stories of alphas rejecting a mate who already had a child with another alpha. He didn’t want to suffer through that rejection, so he chose to do the rejecting himself.
This would be his fourth mating season since Jongseob was born, and as Yoongi walked Jongseob to the daycare center on his way to work that morning, he felt the beginning stirrings of that pull. His alpha was still nearby, and by the feel of it, they were agitated.
For Hoseok, mating season always began with hunger. Hoseok woke up starving on the first of February .
It wasn’t physical hunger. He didn’t need food, but like physical hunger, it caused a gnawing ache in his gut.
His omega was out there somewhere. They weren’t even that far. By the strength of the pull, Hoseok would guess that the omega was within ten or twenty blocks of him, and Hoseok’s wolf was incensed by the fact that the omega had still never bothered to come find him.
The first couple of years after Hoseok moved to the city, he didn’t mind so much. He was still young, not quite ready to settle down, and maybe his omega felt the same. Hoseok never sensed any distress coming from his destined mate, so everything was probably okay.
It was the third year, last year, when things had changed. His mate’s distress finally surfaced, anxiety, and it made Hoseok feel anxious, too.
His hackles were raised for weeks. He was irritable, even snapping at a coworker, for no other reason than that his destined mate was on edge. There was a night when his mood crashed without any obvious cause. He was tetchy, but he’d been keeping it together until he entered a grocery store to get some milk and suddenly everything felt wrong. His omega wasn’t well, and Hoseok couldn’t do anything about it.
The thought crossed his mind that possibly his mate was in a relationship with someone else, that the reason they had never approached Hoseok was that they weren’t willing to break up that relationship just to be with a stranger, and Hoseok could understand that. But the change in mood that he sensed from his omega scared him. He worried that someone might be harming his mate, but there was little he could do but wait for them to come to him.
Mating season had ended once again without Hoseok having come across his destined mate, but it had taken a long time for Hoseok to feel normal again. He lost his appetite, struggled to sleep, and he even began having nightmares, the contents of which dissipated like smoke when he woke up. It was like his brain was trying to remember something, but he couldn’t figure out what he’d forgotten.
Even after that feeling faded, it wasn’t gone for long. The lead-up to mating season had Hoseok feeling like a raw nerve. Everything was sensitive, and he was hypervigilant, searching for his omega. He thought there must be something wrong with them, something Hoseok needed to fix, and now that February had finally arrived, Hoseok knew he only had a limited window to take action and search for them.
Passing by the kitchen without so much as a thought of breakfast, Hoseok grabbed his coat at the door and stepped outside. Everything felt worse without the safety and comfort of his apartment walls. Stronger. Being inside had dampened it a bit, but as Hoseok turned the corner headed for his bus stop, it swelled even further.
Hoseok paused, looking around, wondering where… but then it receded. A passing car maybe? Or had his mate entered a building? It didn’t matter. The feeling was gone, but it would return soon. Hoseok would just have to be ready to follow it.
Though Yoongi was nearly sick from resisting the pull, he did his best to go about his business as normal. Jongseob needed him. They had routines that he needed to stick to. Daycare and work, playtime, dinner, bath, bed.
Jongseob giggled and skipped as Yoongi walked him into daycare. Miss Yoojin was waiting for them in the front room when they entered, and she helped Jongseob out of his coat. Yoongi was about to turn and leave like usual when Jongseob yelled for him to wait and Yoongi felt a tiny body slam into his knees. Stubby arms wrapped around his leg as tight as Jongseob could manage, and all Yoongi do to reciprocate the hug was pat the boy’s shoulders.
“What was that for?” Yoongi asked when Jongseob pulled away to smile up at him.
“I dunno,” he shrugged before running off into the playroom to join his friends.
“I’d say he can sense your distress,” Miss Yoojin said. “He’s still too young to really smell it, but I can tell you’re upset even from here. Is something wrong?”
“No, no,” Yoongi waved it off.
“Are you sure? Is Jongseob okay?” Miss Yoojin’s gaze followed Jongseob as he found another little boy playing with some trucks on the colorful carpet.
“Yeah, he’s fine. I’m just not feeling too well this morning, nothing to worry about.”
She raised an eyebrow at him, and he could tell she was about to comment on what could be causing his sickness. Yoongi didn’t want to hear it. He cut her off before she could speak with a quick, “Oh, look, I’m already late for work, gotta go.” He darted past another parent with two toddlers in tow and out the door.
He wasn’t late, of course. He was exactly on time, as he usually was. His office was only two blocks down. If he felt so inclined, he was sure he could even clock in early, but today Yoongi was far too aware of his alpha existing in the city. The pull was so much stronger than ever before. He knew he wouldn’t make it through the day without an extra pick-me-up.
There was a cafe just past his office, and instead of waiting for his morning break, Yoongi decided to get himself an early latte. The itch under his skin and the burning in his chest subsided a little when he left the sidewalk. He was especially grateful when he saw the crowd of people waiting in line. It would be much easier to hide among them, except they cleared a small circle around him the further the line moved toward the counter.
Was he really that obvious? Was it his scent or his appearance? Perhaps it was just a vibe?
Whatever it was, Yoongi needed to get it under control, and there was only one way he could think of to do that. As soon as he got to work, he pulled out his phone and sent a text to his friends. A night with the guys, even one with Jongseob tagging along, was just what he needed.
Hoseok’s mood had been a rollercoaster for days.
Anxiety, fear, panic. Relief, elation. Sadness. Lather, rinse, repeat.
The problem was, only half of these emotions were Hoseok’s, and those that were conflicted with the ones that weren’t.
The thrill of sensing his mate nearby was crushed by a swooping feeling of dread. The disappointment when his mate retreated further away was coupled with relief.
If he didn’t know better, he’d think his mate didn’t want to be found, but then he’d lie down to sleep and their emotions would finally feel in sync. Longing.
Hoseok couldn’t imagine what would cause an omega to avoid their destined mate. Most omegas wanted to be mated. They found comfort in their alphas.
Sure, he’d known a few omegas who were perfectly happy being on their own, but most of them had no trouble following the pull when the time came. Even Seokjin had chased the scent of roasted coffee beans across a busy street against the light to meet his alpha. Hoseok had never seen eyes wider than Jungkook’s when Seokjin had bowed to him in the middle of the crowded sidewalk and summoned a gold bracelet from the depths of his wallet to offer his destined mate as a courting gift.
“It matches my necklace,” Seokjin had said, and Jungkook had nodded, stuttering his thanks as he attempted to remove them from traffic.
They’d been mated within the week, and Hoseok couldn’t imagine a happier couple.
“You know what you should do,” Jungkook said as Seokjin slid into the opposite side of the booth at their favorite diner. “Screw mating traditions and follow their scent.”
“I don’t even know their scent,” Hoseok frowned. “I’ve never been near enough to catch it.”
“But it has to be something you like,” Seokjin suggested. “Omega, so probably sweet, something that smells like food. What kind of foods do you like?”
“I don’t know, I like lots of things.” Hoseok said. He knew they were trying to be helpful, but this wasn’t as helpful as they thought.
“Maybe mint? Or cake? Chocolate?”
“Maybe,” Hoseok shrugged at Jungkook.
“Well, you’re not being very proactive, Hoseok,” Seokjin scolded him. “How do you expect to find your mate if you don’t at least try?”
“Jin, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but it’s not as simple as singling out my favorite smell. Besides, there are too many choices.”
“Then maybe you could try following the pull,” Jungkook said.
“I’m always busy when it feels the strongest.”
It was true. Every time it felt like his mate was particularly close, Hoseok was late for work or waiting to pay for his dinner or stuck on a bus. And his mate was quite elusive anyway. Or fast. They could slip away in a matter of seconds.
He knew his mate could feel it too. They had to feel it too, and they had to be dodging Hoseok. Otherwise why the conflicting emotions?
And then there was the longing. That also had to mean something, but Hoseok hadn’t figured out what it meant yet.
“Oh, there’s my friend,” Jungkook announced, moving to climb over Seokjin and out of the booth. “You don’t mind if he joins us, do you?”
Jungkook had been trying to get his old school friends together with his new adult friends for ages, but his best friend from university traveled often and Hoseok was busy in their own city. So far their schedules had never aligned, and Hoseok looked up at the door to see this friend of Jungkook’s.
Just as the door opened and the most handsome adult Hoseok had ever seen aside from Seokjin stepped into the diner along with a blast of cold air, the pull became almost overwhelmingly strong. Hoseok’s heart nearly stopped. Was this him? Was this his omega? It had to be him.
Then the door closed, and the feeling subsided. Hoseok caught the friend’s scent, definitely alpha, and he turned to the windows, hoping to catch his mate walking by. It was the closest they’d ever been. Hoseok just knew he must be right outside the diner.
Unfortunately the windows were too fogged up to see through, and by the time he’d wiped a spot clear with his sleeve, the only person on the sidewalk was a teenage girl digging through her purse at the bus stop.
“Hoseok? Everything okay? Did you hear me?” Jungkook asked.
“I… I’m sorry, no. I mean, yes. Everything’s fine, but no, I didn’t hear you.”
“I said, this is my friend, Taehyung.”
“And I said nice to meet you,” Taehyung added, and when Hoseok looked down, Taehyung was already (still) holding out his hand.
“Yes,” Hoseok said, taking the offered hand and shaking it limply. “You as well. I’m afraid I have to go.”
“Hoseok?” Seokjin chimed in, sounding worried.
“I’m fine. Everything’s fine. I just need to go.”
“It’s not my scent, is it,” Taehyung joked. Or, Hoseok thought it was supposed to be a joke, but it was laced with genuine worry.
“Oh, no. It’s not you. I’m sorry, it’s just… mating season.” Hoseok gave Taehyung a half smile and a nervous laugh, hoping he would understand.
“Oh, well in that case, of course. Go be with your mate.”
Okay, so he didn’t quite understand, but Hoseok could at least leave without feeling guilty. He apologized once more before grabbing his coat from the booth and throwing it over his shoulders on the way out the door.
As always, the pull was stronger on the street, but he sensed his mate was further away than he’d expected in such a short time. Still, Hoseok could tell which direction he should go if he wanted to find them. He set out on foot, hoping that at some point his mate would settle in one place and he could hop a bus or something.
“Where is my nephew?” Jimin shouted as he entered Yoongi’s home without so much as a knock. Yoongi went to meet him at the door, but Jimin slipped right past and into the living room to attack Jongseob with tickles.
“Sorry,” Namjoon apologized for his mate. “Mating season. He’s in a mood.”
“Aren’t we all,” Yoongi mumbled, and Namjoon shook his head.
“It’s different. This is the first mating season since we met that we’re considering…” Namjoon trailed off uncomfortably. It took a moment for Yoongi to process, but when he finally understood what Namjoon was saying, his face broke into a bright smile.
“You mean-”
“Please don’t say it. It’s impossible for me to even imagine myself in that condition.”
“Aren’t you excited?” Yoongi whispered. “You shouldn’t do it if it’s not what you both want.”
“It is what I want,” Namjoon insisted. “It is. I see you and Jongseob, and that part I can imagine. It’s gonna be amazing. It’s the part in between that worries me.”
Yoongi shrugged. “The in between part isn’t so bad, or at least it wasn’t for me. I was tired and cranky-”
“When are you not?” Namjoon cut in.
“Shut up. My point is, it doesn’t last forever, and when you come out on the other side…” Yoongi let his gaze drift to the living room where Jongseob was demanding to be flown around like an airplane by Uncle Jimin. “It’s really the best thing ever.”
“You don’t regret it?”
“I don’t regret becoming a parent even for a second. The circumstances could have been better, but look at his face. Would you regret that?”
Namjoon was also watching Jongseob flying in Jimin’s arms, but Yoongi could tell he wasn’t looking at Jongseob. He was watching his alpha and imagining his own child in Jongseob’s place, and he must have liked what he saw because his whole face relaxed into a dimpled grin. Namjoon lifted his hand to his neck, and Yoongi caught him running a finger over his mating mark, causing Jimin to look over at them, smiling as he hugged Jongseob to his chest.
“Don’t worry, Joonie. It’ll be great. Let’s go eat.”
“I hope you didn’t invite us here to ask us to babysit,” Jimin said when everyone was seated at the table for pizza. “I love spending time with this little monster, but it’s not a good time right now.”
Namjoon’s eyes widened and he sent Jimin a silencing look, but Jimin only continued.
“What? Don’t look at me like that. I have ears, you know. I heard what you told him. We’ve booked a suite by the ocean for the last weekend of mating season,” he added, turning back to Yoongi. “I wish we could have taken a whole week, but you know how expensive everything gets around this time. I remember Namjoon ended up making my courting gift out of paper because he couldn’t afford to buy one.”
“You love your paper crown. You wear it all the time. And I used cardstock. It’s not like it was notebook paper.”
“I do love it,” Jimin agreed. “I love it because you created it with your own hands, but you have to admit, your hands aren’t particularly skilled with paper crafts.”
It was true. Yoongi had been there when Namjoon had made it. His hands were covered in hot glue and burns from the glue gun, and the gems on the crown had all slid to the bottom when he’d switched to regular glue instead. It was lopsided and crumpled in places, but it was covered in gold glitter and the sparkles reflected on Jimin’s face like a disco ball.
Yoongi knew just how much Jimin loved it, too. He had cried when he’d seen it, and Namjoon had been unable to tell if the crying was a good sign or a bad one.
“That’s not why I called you over,” Yoongi assured Jimin. “I just needed some familiar adults around to settle my nerves.”
“Anything we can help with?” Namjoon offered, but Yoongi shook his head.
“I don’t want to talk about it, I just wanted some company.”
“It’s your mate, isn’t it?”
Yoongi glared at Jimin. He liked the alpha, really he did. He was good for Namjoon, helped keep him safe and organized. Namjoon only missed half as many appointments with Jimin around, and Jimin had a sixth sense for detecting hazards that Namjoon would otherwise trip over or bump into. Their first week living together Jimin had rearranged all of the furniture in their place in a way that allowed Namjoon to move through it without stubbing his toes on table legs.
The problem with Jimin was that he was too observant. He noticed things he shouldn’t, and he was a loudmouth on top of it. Jimin never hesitated to call anyone out on anything, and Yoongi was no exception.
“You don’t get to look at me like that either, Yoongi. What’s going on with your mate? I assume you’re still hiding from them?”
Yoongi sighed and nodded.
“Aren’t you curious?” Namjoon asked. “It’s been years since you even went on a date. Stop being such a scaredy cat and give them a chance.”
“Not now, Namjoon. I promise we’ll talk about it after dinner, but right now I just need to stop thinking about mating season for a while.”
Thankfully, Namjoon and Jimin both let it drop, and the topic of conversation switched to what Jongseob was learning in daycare and the book Namjoon had been trying to write for the past three years. After dinner was over and the kitchen was all cleaned up, Jimin offered to get Jongseob ready for bed so Yoongi could have a private chat with Namjoon.
“So, what is your hangup with your mate?” Namjoon started as Yoongi listened to his child’s giggles drifting in from the other room. “I know you don’t have a problem with destined mates as a concept.”
“I don’t,” Yoongi agreed. As a concept, destined mates felt comforting. It was lovely knowing that there was someone out there meant specifically for Yoongi, even if that person was currently the most annoying thing in Yoongi’s life.
He’d never seen anyone outright reject a destined mate. He knew it happened sometimes, but no one Yoongi knew personally had ever done it. Meeting one’s destined mate was supposed to be magical, love at first sight and all that. And it wasn’t that Yoongi wanted to reject his own mate, either.
“I’m just not ready yet. I need time.”
“Yoongi, you’ve had time. You’ve had plenty of time.” Namjoon sighed and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Do you remember what you told me last March? You said you didn’t want to meet your mate because you were worried they would be angry about Jongseob.”
“Right.”
“Is that still a concern?”
It was. It would always be a concern.
“Because here’s the thing,” Namjoon continued. “Whether or not it’s your main worry, that your mate won’t accept Jongseob, it’s best to get it out of the way sooner rather than later. For one thing, if it does turn out that your mate has a problem with you having a kid, Jongseob is still young enough that he won’t ever have to know that he’s the reason you’re not with your destined mate. Not unless you tell him. And if your mate does accept Jongseob, then both you and Jongseob will get to start spending the rest of your lives with this person as soon as possible.”
It was a valid point, Yoongi had to admit. Jongseob was Yoongi’s top priority, always and forever, and Yoongi didn’t want to do anything that would make Jongseob’s life harder than it had to be. He was a good parent, making it all on his own. Even if his mate didn’t want to become part of the family Yoongi had unintentionally created without them, Yoongi would be fine, but Jongseob… he might take the rejection harder.
Yoongi didn’t realize he was nodding until Namjoon’s dimples appeared again.
“Does that mean you’ll stop avoiding your mate?”
“I- I still don’t know if I’m ready,” Yoongi confessed. “I have time. Mating season technically lasts until the end of the month.”
“Technically, yes, but you know everything dies down mid-month. It’ll be harder to find your mate if you wait more than another couple of weeks. You won’t be able to sense each other as easily. You might have to go another year without meeting. Are you sure you want to do that?”
“I don’t know,” Yoongi groaned. “Look, I know I’m making this more difficult than it probably has to be, but I also know I can’t force myself to be ready for this.”
“I get it. It’ll be a big change. I know change is scary, but I feel like you might only be considering the negatives, so let’s talk about how meeting your mate might be positive. Can you think of anything, or do you want me to start?”
“Namjoon, don’t do this,” Yoongi mumbled, head in his hands. “Don’t make me do this.”
“Right, I’ll start then. How about the fact that Jongseob might have another person to love him?”
“Or the fact that maybe they won’t love him.”
Namjoon shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. The potential is plus one love or net zero. It can’t be negative. How about the fact that you might have another person to love you?”
“Same answer.”
“Right, same answer. Can’t be negative. How about the fact that your mate would have two more people to love them?”
Yoongi paused at this. He’d only been thinking of himself and his child. It hadn’t crossed his mind that his mate would see his avoidance as rejection. He felt a bit selfish, but as he’d said before, he couldn’t force himself to be ready, and Jongseob was still his top priority.
“He’s out cold,” Jimin whispered, startling Yoongi from his thoughts. “I had to read six books, but he finally fell asleep. How are you two getting along?”
“I think Yoongi is having a moment of clarity.”
“Maybe we should give him some time to think.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I think I need that,” Yoongi agreed. “Thanks for putting Jongseob down.”
“No problem, Yoongi. We’ll see you after mating season, yeah?”
“Mm, I’ll still be here,” Yoongi said as he walked his friends to the door. “Call me when you get back.”
“Call us when you finally meet your mate.”
Yoongi was afraid he’d have to call them sooner than that.
Yoongi had been up all night thinking about what he and Namjoon had discussed. He was exhausted by the time Jongseob climbed up on his bed for Saturday morning snuggles, and not only from lack of sleep.
It was easier to ignore the pull when he had distractions like other people and work and chores and taking care of Jongseob, but when Yoongi was alone, even sheltered by the walls of his home, he could sense his mate. It was an odd feeling to know a stranger somewhere else in the city was tossing and turning in their own bed, and it was all because of Yoongi.
Pulling his son closer, he sniffed at the top of the child’s head. Jongseob smelled sweet. Not like an omega, but like a pup.
He hadn’t presented yet and wouldn’t until he turned ten or so, so he didn’t have a scent of his own. He picked up hints of scents from the adults around him. Yoongi’s maple and cinnamon, Miss Yoojin’s dull vanilla, and today there was a bit of Namjoon’s tart apple and Jimin’s sandalwood. And since, aside from family, Yoongi had never had many people who were constant in his life, he found the temporary nature and fluctuation of Jongseob’s scent comforting and normal.
“What are we doing today, kiddo?”
“Breffast!”
“Right,” Yoongi chuckled. “Breakfast is first. Pancakes or waffles?” Jongseob shook his head. “No? No breakfast cakes?”
“Eggs!”
“And bacon?”
“And jam bread,” Jongseob nodded.
“Well then,” Yoongi groaned as he carefully rolled over Jongseob and out of the bed. “I guess I better get to work on your breffast, bud.”
Yoongi set Jongseob up with a memory game at the counter while he prepared scrambled eggs and bacon. He listened as the little boy recited the names of the pictures on his cards.
“Apple like Uncle Joon. Ice cream like Miss Yoojin. Tree like… Who smells like a tree?”
“I don’t know, bud.”
“Oh! I know!” Jongseob announced. “Shota at daycare. His family smells like a forest.”
“Oh, really? A whole forest? Like all the trees?”
“No, like a Chrimmus tree.”
“A pine tree. That's pretty neat.”
“Yup, but Shota says he wants to smell like Miss Yoojin when he grows up cause she’s sweet.”
“Oh?”
“Uh huh, an Miss Yoojin said that makes it easy for you to find your mate, but you smell sweet an you don’t have a mate.”
Yoongi had to hold back a sigh. After the night he’d had, after the way mating season had been going so far, Yoongi really wasn’t ready to have this discussion with Jongseob. He knew he could redirect and change the subject, but if he did happen to find his mate, it would be better if Jongseob knew what to expect.
“Do you think I need a mate?”
Jongseob shrugged and frowned at the cards on the counter, turning one over and frowning harder when it wasn’t a match.
“Do you want me to find a mate?” Yoongi prodded further.
Jongseob paused with a card in his hand and looked at Yoongi. “Miss Yoojin says mates make us happy. She says you have to have a mate. She says it’s mating season an she’s looking for hers. Are you looking for yours?”
“I don’t think you have to have a mate to be happy,” Yoongi said as he flipped the bacon in the pan. “You make me happy. Uncle Joon and Uncle Jimin make me happy, too.”
Jongseob nodded, flipping another card. “But Uncle Joon and Uncle Jimin are mates, an they make eachuvver happy.”
Leave it to a toddler to not let it go.
“Are you saying you want me to look for my mate?” Jongseob shrugged again, and Yoongi switched off the heat on the stove, sliding the food onto plates.
He poured a cup of juice for Jongseob and some coffee for himself and brought everything over to the table where Jongseob joined him, matching card still in hand.
“Jongseob, do you think anything would change if I had a mate?”
“I dunno. Shota’s parents are mates, an he’s just like me, ‘cept…”
“Except what?”
“Well, he’s got two parents. It’s the same, just more.”
“Do you…” Yoongi trailed off, unsure if he should ask. Ultimately he decided he wanted to know how Jongseob felt about having a single parent. “Do you think things would be better if you had two parents?”
Jongseob thought for a few moments, slowly chewing on a bite of toast and jam as he clumsily pushed an elusive piece of egg around the plate with his plastic fork.
“I think- I think I like having you, an I would like having two parents, too.”
“So, not better, just different?”
Jongseob nodded happily, smiling up at Yoongi. He had jam on his cheeks, and his lips were shiny with bacon grease. His eyes nearly disappeared with his grin, much like Jimin’s. He was Yoongi’s perfect little miracle, and he was absolutely right. If Yoongi met his destined mate, things might not be better, but they would definitely be different.
“Okay, finish up and then we’ll clean your face and get you dressed, and maybe in a little while we can go to the park.”
Yoongi didn’t really want to be out of the house, but his talk with Jongseob had solidified something for him: if Yoongi did happen to bump into his mate, whether things could be worked out between them or not, Jongseob would be just fine. He seemed open to the idea of inviting someone else into their family, if necessary, but he was okay with it just being the two of them, too.
Hoseok was tired. His feet hurt, his legs ached, and his head was pounding. The pull was always there, but for some reason, when Hoseok chose to focus on it, it gave him a splitting headache. Maybe because alphas weren’t meant to be the ones to follow the pull, who knew. Whatever the reason, he had never been more happy to see his bed when he finally got home from another long afternoon of chasing his mate.
He still hadn’t found them. There was a moment when he was passing a park, and Hoseok was positive his mate was just on the other side of the grassy field, but it was nearly dusk and his glasses were foggy. All he could see from the distance before the park emptied was a few parents bundling their kids up for the walk home.
After pulling his shoes off his swollen feet, Hoseok collapsed face first on his bed. It was still pretty early to go to sleep, and he was hungry, but he couldn’t bring himself to move from the bed. He rolled over, pulling the covers with him and bundling himself into a Hoseok burrito.
It was already dark out, early sunset due to winter. Hoseok sighed and closed his eyes, just for a moment.
The pull was always there, a bit distant now but still there. His destined mate was somewhere in the city. Hoseok wondered what they were doing.
He sensed calm. His mate was calm. Relaxed. Maybe they were with family or enjoying their favorite hobby? What kind of hobby would his mate enjoy?
There was calm for a long time. It was nice, a welcome change from the emotions he usually felt from his mate. Hoseok started to drift off, but just as a dream began to surface, the calm disappeared, replaced by an aching emptiness.
His mate was lonely. His mate was lonely, and Hoseok’s only thought as he shed a tear for the omega was that he could cure that loneliness if only they could meet.