Chapter Text
When Beryl Grace was four years old, she knew she wanted to be famous. Fame was something that made you seen, it made you unforgettable. Beryl wanted that. She already felt forgettable by her own family, she’d have to make herself memorable to the rest of the world.
When Beryl Grace was six years old, she met her first boy. He held her hand on the playground and told her he didn’t want her to move away. She had gotten that idea from one of her father’s favorite television programs and when she told him about it, he started crying. His mother saw and accused her of being mean to them. A week later, they moved away. Beryl told herself that they would meet again when she was famous.
When Beryl Grace was seven years old, she watched her older sister win Little Miss Cornwall for the fifth year in a row. No matter how many times Barbie won, their parents treated it like this was the first. She suggested that Barbie audition for Little Miss Connecticut as she congratulated her sister half-heartedly. Anything she’d done had never gotten the same big reaction. It was like nothing she did mattered as much as her older sisters. I need to do something bigger, Beryl told herself.
When Beryl Grace was ten years old, her older brother made his first rocking chair. He was fourteen. Their parents put it on the front porch so it could be admired. Nothing Beryl drew had ever even made it on the fridge. You’ll see, She promised herself, I’ll do better. Once her name was in lights, everything would be better. She would finally be famous, and then she would be taken seriously.
When Beryl Grace was eleven years old, her neighbor got a role in a local commercial for a mechanic shop down the street. Beryl thought it was the coolest thing. Ms. Loretta had even made it in the ad in the paper that morning. She stopped by Ms. Loretta’s later that day and told her how much she wished she could do the same, and Ms. Loretta offered to bring her around town to audition for more local commercials and newspaper ads. A few months later, Beryl starred in an ad for Val’s Diner, a place she’d been eating at since the moment she could swallow solid food. Her family had smiled and congratulated her, but they still didn’t really understand. I’ll make it big, Beryl promised them excitedly, and then you’ll be just as proud, she added to herself.
When Beryl Grace was twelve years old, her best friend Sue confided in her that she was in love. Beryl had teased her about it, but she longed for love herself. She was always forgotten compared to her older siblings. Sue told her that her secret love’s mother could get her any role she liked, but it would be hard to ask. Beryl so badly wanted to take that chance, but days later Sue came to her crying and saying that her love had died with a sword in hand, covered in golden dust. She had found him in the forest where they used to play, sobbing about how his connection to his mother did that to him. That day Beryl learned that maybe fame came with a price.
When Beryl Grace was thirteen years old, she had starred in several commercials and was well known around town. Neighbors would stop by to congratulate her, to ask how she was, to talk to her just so they could say they had. Beryl loved every second of it, but her parents seemed to think this was an invasion of privacy. How funny, they’d never thought that way when Barbie was famous around town? She still was, in fact, but now she had taken on the project of pursuing winning Miss Connecticut and wasn’t seen as much. Still, Shirley and Richard Grace had never been bothered when the townies stopped by at the supermarket. Why can’t you just be happy for me? Beryl would scream in her head, knowing that if she spoke it aloud her dream would be over for good.
When Beryl Grace was fourteen years old, she decided to get a job so she could get out of the house. About a week later, she’d been hired at Val’s, the diner where she’d starred in her first commercial for. Val, the woman who owned it, was a kind woman who treated everyone like her grandchildren. Beryl had a few other coworkers, Mary, Linda, Robert, and Johnny, who were like siblings to her. She was the youngest, with Johnny being about two or three years older than her. Her presence brought business to the diner, and she felt good that she was helping her community. That seemed like her parents’ favorite part. Still, she longed for more. How long will it be before everyone knows my name? She would think to herself in moments of frustration.
When Beryl Grace was fifteen years old, she became restless. Everyone in Cornwall knew her, loved her even, but still her parents didn’t understand. Neither did Sue, who hadn’t been the same since they were twelve. The two had grown distant because Beryl always wanted more, while Sue believed that that lifestyle and mindset would end up hurting her. Beryl dated boys off and on, but they only wanted her fame and her body. Her parents and Sue didn’t approve of them, either. The only person who was there for her was Johnny, who assured her that he believed in her and she’d accomplish her goals one day. She was grateful for him, a light in her personal tunnel of endless darkness. She would go home, and her father would urge her to just find a nice boy like Johnny, settle down, and quietly put her silly dreams to sleep. It wasn’t enough for him. Would it ever be? He’s wrong, she told herself before she went to sleep every night, they’re all wrong. They’ll see. I’ll make us all proud. I will be seen and loved and known, mark my words.