Chapter Text
Gamzee Makara was the grub of a lusus who wasn’t around a lot.
(Well, at all.)
She was also the only highblood, in the extremely short time she went to be schoolfed, who didn’t think that they should lord it over the lowbloods. It just seemed wrong for someone to up and do that to someone else.
And, what she learned took the magical miracles out of everything, too.
(When she slips on her way into her Recuperacoon and accidentally swallows some sorpor slime, Gamzee likes the way she doesn’t care about much of anything when she drinks it.)
She becomes friends with the others after, becoming best friends with Karkat, ignoring Terezi’s positing about why her best friend didn’t type his blood color, because Gamzee honestly didn’t care.
The small sober corner of her brain is extremely glad that she’s extremely high when Equius trolls her about how she’s not acting right.
(It’s not like she doesn’t know who her ancestor was, it’s sorta hard to miss the similarities between her and the Grand Highblood, and she can feel them the most during the fight against the black king, with her and Vriska doing the most damage.)
So when the Dave human tells her about the motherfucking clowns at the same time as she runs out of sorpor and she-
(TC: No No BrO, i DoN't WaNnA kNoW, dOn'T eVeN tElL mE.
TC: kNoWiNg ShIt JuSt StEaLs Up AlL tHe FuCkIn MaGiC fRoM mY mIrAcLeS lIkE a MoThErFuCkIn ThIeF.
TC: AnD tHaT aIn'T cOoL.)
She can’t-
Everything that she’s been able to brush off or ignore since she started drinking the slime crashes down on her, leaving her crumpled on the floor in a deserted hall, her boots scuffing across the floor, the holes in her stockings getting bigger, her skirt crumpled in her lap and catching her bright purple tears.
(There’s a rustle down the hall and her hair wafts slightly and she looks up-)
Dave’s wicked cool doll is lying next to her on the floor, face down, and she laughs quietly as she wipes her face, greasepaint coming away with her tears, a hiccup ending in a honk as she reached down to look at it, and then-
(And then she makes eye contact and the doll goes from wicked cool to just wicked.)
And then she’s forcibly pushed to the back of her head.
(The room is huge and dark purple, and she can see out of a large window in the front, out of what feels like a glass cage all the way in the back, blackness creeping in from all sides around her,
(And standing between her and her window to the outside world is a huge figure, around the same size as her ancestor, in all green, his jacket lapels all the colors of the rainbow.)
She watches, dumbstruck, as she kills Equius, spouting highblood bullshit, as the motherfucker is sweating too hard to fight back.
(CT: D --> Don't you understand that you're better than me
CT: D --> Can you please act like it
CT: D --> That's not a command, it's just a polite request I guess
TC: oK, i CaN tRy, BuT mAn I dOn'T kNoW iF i KnOw HoW tO bE lIkE a BeTtEr MoThErFuCkEr ThAn AnY oThEr MoThErFuCkEr.)
She starts crying again, in her head if not out of it, when she drags Nepeta’s claws across her face and then killing the smaller troll.
Gamzee starts screaming, throwing herself at the glass as she watched herself decapitate all the bodies, put the rest in her captchalog, and then pit Terezi and Vriska against each other, this fucker going after her friends using her.
She’s exhausted when she sees herself go for Karkat, and her eyes widened.
(“NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo-I’lL kIlL yOu, I sWeAr-”
(“REALLY. AND HOW ARE YOu GOING TO DO THAT.”)
And then everything is suddenly calm, and she sobs in relief at Karkat’s shooshing.
(TC: bEsT fRiEnD.
CG: I WONDER WHAT KIND OF SHITTY THING I DID TO DESERVE SUCH AN AWFUL BEST FRIEND.
CG: OR MAYBE WHAT TERRIBLE THING I'M GOING TO DO AND GET PUNISHED FOR IN ADVANCE.
CG: MAYBE I'M JUST LIKE PREEMPTIVELY THE WORST FUCKING PIECE OF TRASH WHO EVER LIVED AND DON'T EVEN KNOW IT YET, BUT HEY LOOK, YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS EXHIBIT A I GUESS.)
And she grins tiredly at the green man’s anger as the moirallegiance kept her body in check, and manages to get a few words in edgewise.
(GAMZEE: honk.
KARKAT: WHAT.
GAMZEE: HONK.
KARKAT: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????
KARKAT: DON'T YOU START WITH ME
KARKAT: DO. NOT. START WITH ME.
KARKAT: I WILL GET YOU IN A HEADLOCK SO TIGHT IT WILL BE A MIRACLE IF PEOPLE DON'T MISTAKE OUR TUSSLE FOR AN ILL CONCEIVED VENTRILOQUIST ACT.
KARKAT: I WILL SHOOSH YOU AGAIN, SO HELP ME GOD. I WILL SHOOSH YOUR CLOWN ASS TO SHANGRI-BULLSHIT-LA AND BACK, AND FILL YOUR EAR WITH MY WHITE HOT PALEBRO SPITTLE.
KARKAT: I AM FULL AND FUCKING WELL PREPARED TO GET CONCILIATORY WITH YOU AGAIN IF YOU SO MUCH AS PASS GAS MURDEROUSLY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
KARKAT: IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??? DO I NEED TO CALM YOUR FAYGO-STICKY TENTSQUATTING SHIT DOWN AGAIN????
GAMZEE: naw brother, i was just about to all say for you to try and get your settle down on, maybe.
GAMZEE: :o( )
And then they go through a dream bubble and green dude goes and orders her not ancestor (who looks like a cool bro) who hands her a purple, plastic-ee looking corset.
The motherfucker breaks up both her morallegiance and her kismesissitude before getting her the crappiest fake motherfucking god tier outfit.
(CG: ACTUALLY YOU KNOW WHAT WILL BE THE MIRACLE TO END ALL MIRACLES?
CG: IT'LL BE IF I EVER MEET A KID I DESPISE MORE THAN YOU.
CG: THAT WILL MAKE ME A MOTHERFUCKIN CONVERT.
CG: I'LL SEE LIGHT SO BRIGHT I'LL NEED GC TO WALK ME AROUND SO I DON'T BUMP INTO SHIT.
CG: SIGN ME UP FOR YOUR IDIOTIC CLOWN RELIGION OK.
TC: hAhAhAhA yOu fUcKiN gOt It BrOtHeR!)
(Then she’s taken over by the not-Vriska and controlled, being pushed even further back into her head, and then is forced to steal a ring for her, before taken somewhere where Terezi commences to stab her repeatedly.
(Then Gamzee’s let go, and Terezi’s standing over her, about to stab her again when she finally lets go.
(GAMZEE: TeReZi...
GAMZEE: wHoA.
GAMZEE: PlEaSe StOp.
GAMZEE: YoU'rE mOtHeRfUcKiN...
GAMZEE: hUrTiNg Me. :o(
(And Terezi drops her weapons just as greendude takes over again.
(“MoThErFuCkEr!” Gamzee threw herself at the glass of her cage as he grinned back at her,)
(Then he shuffles her off to take care of a cherub, raising it till it was self sufficient, and then was shuffled off again to help it take things over.
(He shoots her more times than completely necessary, following up later by saying that Gamzee is both invincible and eternal.
(Because of miracles.
(She’s never wanted to kill someone so bad in her entire life.)
Which bring us up to the present.
Where the cherub has turned into the greendude in her head, and she and the Condesce are standing between their friends and him.
“Are you really surprised that I’m behind them? She merely works for me, but she,” Gamzee can feel the breeze as Callidude gestured at her, “She required effort. I’ve been controlling her since you,” he pointed at Dave, from the slightly surprised expression on the humans face was anything to go by, “Shook her faith after she became sober again.”
“How?” Karkat looks livid, and Gamzee wants to shoosh the anger out of him.
(And maybe some things that are a bit too pink, but she makes an effort not to think of that.)
(TC: MaN yOu KnOw YoU wAnNa GiVe My HoRnS a GoOd SqUeEzE. :o) )
“Lil Cal. He was named after me, you know. And it makes sense. I even got her to kill her friends, while being true to her class. But you,” Callidude moves forward and Gamzee throws herself against her cage, “Oh, you almost undid everything.”
(“DoN’t YoU fUcKiNg ToUcH hIm-”)
“What? What’re you-”
(“-Or I sWeAr tO gOd-”)
“Do you really not know? Here, let me show you.”
Multiple hands take her arms till she can’t move, and then she’s let go.
“-I’ll motherfucking kill you if you even think of touching my Karbro,” the entire group jumped at the sound of her voice, rough from disuse. Callidude just grins, and Gamzee snarls, fighting against the hands restraining her, until she’s shoved back in again, and the Felt release her.
“But he isn’t just your moirail, is he, clown?” He smirked at her from in front of Karkat, who looked confused. “He’s your matesprit, as well.” Gamzee watched in abject horror as Karkat’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t think I’d miss that, did you? So, why don’t we see how much farther we can break you, you stupid. Fucking. Clown.” Lord English pointed at Karkat.
“Kill him.”
Gamzee blinked, and then her clubs come out.
~
Karkat was really fucking confused. Also, terrified and guilty.
All these emotions could be attributed to Gamzee.
“Kill him.”
And it didn’t help when Gamzee calmly pulled out her strifemodus and advanced.
And then she said something under her breath, and Lord English cocked his head.
“What?”
Gamzee stopped when she was level with him before turning her smile on him.
“HoNk. :o)”
She then proceeded to duck past his claws before he could even try to defend himself and drive her clubs repeatedly into his skull with a rage Karkat’d only seen Gamzee produce when they’d fought the black king and with Terezi.
(The trolls and humans advanced to fight off the Felt and Jane and Jade.)
Karkat takes the head off a guy with a purple striped hat and suddenly all the purple striped hats disappear, givin him a second to see Gamzee, her stupid fake godtier outfit soaked an even deeper purple, grab the crowbar from one of the minions, smashing Lil Cal, and then driving the pointy end up through the bottom of Lord English’s head.
A earth-shattering HONK shook the ground as English collapsed to the ground, Gamzee already moving to where Dave, Rose and Jake were fighting Jade and Jane.
Except she didn’t stop when Jane’s trident thing sliced through her side, or when Jade threw some spell at her, instead going for the Condence.
Karkat heard Kanaya and Roxy gasp when the Condense drove her trident right into Gamzee’s chest. He didn’t look at them, however, because instead of stopping, Gamzee growled, purple dripping out of the corner of her mouth, pulled the trident deeper into her chest and out of the Condence’s grip, before driving the bottom pointy end into the Condence’s throat.
Gamzee yanked the trident out if her chest, sending it through the Condense, before walking forward and yanking off her headband.
She then walked back past the now normal and confused Jade and Jane to where a guy with a purple hat was trying to pick up English’s staff, calmy and methodically snapping his neck, catching the staff as he fell.
(Karkat supposed the little guy was lucky, considering what Gamzee had done to some other people.)
“Gamzee?” She blinked, snapped out of her concentration, and looked over.
“Karkat? What-” Was all she got out before she seemed to notice that she was covered in blood.
“Nononononononotitskarkatandnepetacolorednooffstopplease-”
(Karkat had never seen her so...emotional. And the amount of pain on Gamzee’s face as she started tearing at her blood soaked clothes made him feel too damn much.)
Gamzee skidded away from the pile of clothes, back in the tattered remains of her normal clothes, and Karkat was moving towards her before he even registered himself moving.
(Her shirt was basically a crop top, as it looked like it’d been shot with a machine gun and cut and stabbed, the prong marks in her chest going straight through her sign; her skirt was at least an inch and a half shorter than it’d started, and her stockings were mostly holes.)
He caught her, papping and shooshing the second he got his hands on her, combing his fingers through her knotted hair and wiping the smeared greasepaint off her face.
“I’m sorry, Karkat.”
(Gamzee calling him Karkat worried him more than everything else, because she didn’t call people by their names.)
“Shoosh, Gamzee, it’s okay, it’s not your fault.”
(TC: It'S sUcH a BeAuTiFuL tHiNg.
TC: ThIs TrOlL dIsEaSe CaLlEd FrIeNdShIp.)
It took a while, but Gamzee loosened up enough to wrap herself around him, and jeez, she got big.
(Karkat was ignoring the knot in his chest over all the other things he’s missed.)
It took a while, but Gamzee leaned back, leaning her forehead against his.
(He’d also missed, apparently, that under all that greasepaint, Gamzee was...attractive.)
“I’m sorry, Karbro, there’s something I have to do.” She ducked out from under his arms and got up, slightly shaky, before going back to Lord English’s cane, grabbing a discarded voodoo doll, and tossed it on English’s chest before hefting the cane and stabbing it through the doll and English before closing her eyes in concentration.
And then the globe started to glow, followed by the stick, followed by the voodoo doll, followed by English.
And then figures started to appear: Ferferi, Eridan, Equius, Nepeta, Vriska, and finally Tavros, robot legs and all.
Terezi and Kanaya rushed forward to help the others, slowly followed by the humans, but Karkat made a beeline to where Gamzee twirled the cane upside down, squared her feet, and then smashed the globe on the floor where Lord English and the voodoo doll had previously been before dropping it.
Gamzee turned woozily and grinned at Karkat.
“I motherfuckin’ fixed it, Karbro! I motherfuckin’-” Gamzee’s eyes rolled back in her head as she keeled over.