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Kevin's been off today.
Neil isn't sure what's wrong, but now, as the two of them are laying side by side in Kevin's bed, watching an old Exy match, Kevin is acting completely wrong. He's not focused, which, when it comes to Exy, he's always focused. Other than when his head is stuck in a history book, Exy is the only thing his brain seems to really get involved in.
But now Kevin is clearly distracted by something , and it must be a pretty big thing for him to have not said anything at all when that super obvious foul happened, especially when the referee didn't call it; that's the sort of thing that Kevin can harp on for hours . Neil had let that first one slide, sure that it was just a once off, but when Kevin is still not paying close enough attention and misses that extremely fucking lucky goal (truly, it's amazing how she was able to get that past the goalie), he decides he has to adress it.
Though Kevin's biting his bottom lip, he's looking rather stressed.
And comforting people, well, Neil's never been entirely good at that. Apparently, when someone goes through a break up, even if it's with a person they haven't spoken to in months, and one that they don't ever mention, talk about, or even particularly like that much, you're supposed to do a little more than nod and say "okayyy?,". Show some compassion , Nicky had told him, he was going out with Thea for ages. (Neil doesn't see how that's relevant, when she and Kevin spoke once every blue moon).
He's also pretty new to this whole having friends situation, but now that he's far better at it than he was at the start, Neil knows that if Kevin has something bothering him, it doesn't matter whether or not Neil's good at comforting him, just that he's there to listen.
( God, he almost cringes, thinking such sappy sounding things, about Kevin, of all people.)
So, he gives himself a minute or two to prepare mentally for the act of not coming off like an uncaring bastard, and then he sits up, pausing the game as he does so.
Kevin startles at this, finally getting out of his head, and he turns his head over to Neil sharply.
"What's wrong with you?" Neil asks.
"What do you mean what's wrong with me? Nothing's wrong with me," Kevin says.
"Uh, clearly there is. You haven't been paying any attention," he accuses.
"Yes I have!" Kevin refutes.
"No you haven't! Did you even see that check? No, you didn't, because if you did, you'd pause the game and go on about how illegal it was. Did you see that goal? No, you didn't, because if you did, you would have gone on for fucking hours about how I should practice more to be like that. I know you, Kevin. You're distracted," Neil huffs, now annoyed.
"Wha- I mean no. I'm- I'm the furthest thing from distracted. Like, I'm paying so much attention it's obviously you who's not," Kevin snaps. "Now, lie back down because I want to finish it,"
"What teams are even playing, huh?"
"-Don't look at the screen!"
Kevin does not answer.
"See! See, I knew it! I knew you weren't paying attention, asshole! Now shut the fuck up with the excuses and tell me what's wrong with you," Neil sounds smug, because he is, Kevin won't get out of Neil being a good friend, thinking he could get away with lying to a pro, how pathetic. Oh , he remembers, compassion . "I'm here for you," he adds, awkwardly patting Kevin's shoulder.
Kevin shoots him an odd look as he moves his shoulder out of reach from Neil and his attempts at being kind. "Fine," he admits, "there is something ,"
"Tell me," Neil urges.
"You won't be happy about it," Kevin warns.
"I won't be angry, just tell me,"
"We'll see about that," Kevin mutters under his breath. He clears his throat slightly, before speaking again. "Sooo, you know about Aaron and Katelyn, yeah?"
"Yeah, I do," Neil answers, confused as to what this has to do with anything. He still adds on, because he can never turn down a chance to insult Aaron "good for her, she deserves better than him ,"
Kevin brings his hand up and scratches at the back of his head. "Yeah haha, so well, they're not together anymore so you know and umm- really it's not a big deal or anything so no need to freak out but we- us- and then- ya know? After- sort of- it's- then- kinda- that-and we- gwah," he finishes, lamely.
"Do you get me?" He asks.
"No I don't fucking get you. Perhaps try to make some sense huh?" Neil says.
"Okay! Okay!" Kevin relents. The next sentence he speaks so quietly Neil has to strain to hear it "Aaron. I had sex with Aaron,"
"Oh fuck off, jokes are actually meant to be funny you know,"
"It's not a joke," Kevin replies, and he stares resolutely ahead at the wall behind Neil, avoiding eye contact, as he pulls down the collar of his shirt to reveal a hickey.
Neil gapes.
"No," he whispers. " No, "
"I'm sorry!"
"What the fuck!? "
"It just happened, I didn't mean to!"
"How the fuck can something like that just happen?" Neil shouts, horrified.
"It was just- one thing- then another!" Kevin shouts back.
"How could you? How could you do that to me?" Neil had done so much for Kevin, so much, and this is what he gets in return. The knowledge that Aaron and Kevin had sex. He's never going to try and be a good friend again.
He screams into the palm of his hands, agonised.
"How could I do this to you? I didn't do anything!"
"You had sex with the worst person ever! That's what you did!"
"But that's got nothing to do with you!"
"Then why were you so worried about telling me? If you didn't do anything?"
"Because I knew you'd react like this!"
"Aaron. Kevin. Aaron! Out of everyone, everyone! Him? Really? You're disgusting!"
"You have sex with Andrew all the time!"
"Andrew isn't Aaron!"
"They're identical!"
"That doesn't make them the same!!! " Aaron is nothing like Andrew. Nothing. Neil wouldn't step near Andrew with a ten foot pole if they were anything alike.
"This is the worst thing to ever happen to me! How am I supposed to move on with my life, knowing that you and Aaron, "
"Fuck, Neil calm down! Stop making it such a big deal! It's not any of your business anyway! How would you feel if I reacted like this to you being with Andrew? Bet you wouldn't be happy, so please, think about me for once?" Kevin says exasperated.
Neil stops then, for a moment, and a tad bit of self reflection goes on in his mind. Yes, he would dislike it, if Kevin had so much shit to say about him and Andrew. Maybe, it's best if he does calm down some.
He brings his hands down from where they were covering his face. He still cannot look Kevin in the eye, he isn't sure if he'll ever be able to do so again, but he stops screaming. It's the best Kevin can ask for.
"I am sor- I should not have reacted like that," apologizing is a step too far, Neil settles for admitting his wrong doings.
"See, that's okay. That's fine. This is fine. This is great, in fact. Super great," Kevin exclaims, the tension leaking from his shoulders.
"Definitely great. Wait- are you and- are you two a thing now?" He asks.
Kevin's face reddens as he answers. "I mean, we haven't really gotten around to that bit. We were sorta busy doing some other stuff,"
"Was it-" Neil begins.
"Yes. Yes, it was really good actually. Better than with Thea-"
"I do not need to know that! I do not need to know that!"
"You asked!"
"No that is not what I was going to ask,"
"What were you going to ask then? 'cause it sure sounds to me like you were asking what it was like,"
"Kevin, why in the ever loving fuck would I want to know what it was like?"
"Well, maybe-"
"There are no maybe' s. I never, ever want to hear about you sex life. Especially with him ,"
"I would listen to you-"
"We are not those type of friends,"
Kevin sighs "okay,"
They're silent for a moment, Kevin, looking relieved, and Neil, contemplating whether or not he should stab a fork in his leg, maybe that'll get his mind off of the very unpleasant images that keep popping up.
Neil gasps, loudly, remembering an incredibly important question he has yet to ask.
He has to do it, he knows, but there's a sinking feeling in his gut because he's afraid he's already guessed the answer.
He takes a deep breath in. "Where?"
"Where what- oh ," Kevin replies.
"Where?" Neil repeats, his heart rate is speeding up, he feels frozen to the spot. Dread? Fear? Whatever it is, it's locked him down.
Kevin gulps.
His eyes dart towards the bed. The bed that both he and Neil are still on. The bed that Neil has been on for over an hour.
It's as much of a confirmation that Neil needs.
He shoots up off the bed and stumbles backwards until he hits the wall. A look of the deepest betrayal washes over his face.
" Kevin!" He shrieks.
"Neil!"
" Oh, god, Kevin!"
"Neil!"
"It's all over me isn't it! Isn't it !"
"The sheets are clean, I swear they're clean!"
"What difference does that make? I lied in the same place that Aaron had sexdjjdnswjodh!" The last words come out a jumbled mess because Neil cannot believe Kevin could do this to him. His emotions are over run, never in his life has he felt so many things at once. So many horrible things. The sheets might be clean, but that doesn't mean the aura is.
He thinks about the bleach that's in the cabinet under the sink. Is it worth the risk?
Kevin scrambles out of the bed and starts ro head over to him. Neil makes an 'x' shape with his arms, protecting himself from Kevin.
"Stand back Kevin. Stay away! I will never treat you the same after this! I will never be able to look at you again either because all I can see is Him! Aaron! Why! Why not Nicky? What about Matt? Allison? Katelyn? Why not all of them? Why Aaron? The asshole of all assholes, how fucking dare you? How am I supposed to move on with my life? How am I supposed to face him ? Anyone? I can't! I can't do this!"
"Neil, you're in shock! Calm the fuck down!"
"You wouldn't be calm if you were in my situation? Did you just lie in the same bed that your boyfriends brother fucked in? His brother?"
"...No,"
"Then you have no right to tell me how I am overreacting! My eyes are forever scarred!"
"You didn't even see anything!"
"But- but what if I had?! What if I walked in on you, oh, god, I'd kill myself,"
"Neil- just-"
The door slams open, cutting Kevin off. Neil instantly looks over.
It's him .
"Josten, the fuck are you being so loud for?" Aaron shoots Neil a dirty look. He glances around the room and his eyes catch on Kevin. He straightens up.
"Hey, Kevin," he says, leaning against the door frame.
"Hey, Aaron," Kevin answers, suddenly deciding that he has to stretch. Neil can see his shirt riding up as he does so. He also sees Aaron looking at it too.
Neil thinks he's about to get sick.
Neither of them speak again, but no one moves either. They stay like that, staring intensely at each other.
They're practically eye-fucking.
Aaron takes a step forward, Kevin does, too. Their eyes are still only for each other.
Closer and closer they step, until they're only less than a foot apart. Neil's watching this weird mating ritual with undisclosed horror, mouth open and he's sure there's goosebumps along his arms. He's never witnessed something more scary than whatever the fuck this is.
They're about to kiss, he's sure of it, and that's when Neil snaps out of it.
"I'm right here!"
"And you've already missed your cue to leave, Josten," Aaron says.
"Go, now," Kevin says.
Neil does go. In fact, he legs it out of there as fast as his legs will take him, and he does not look back.
He tries not to think about what they're doing right now behind that now locked door.