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A Shot in the Heart Doesn't Make it Unbreak

Summary:

Amity and Luz had been meeting at the abandoned hayloft at the edge of Blight farm for almost two years now, so often that Amity had all but stopped taking the precautions to hide their relationship from her mother. But leaving her bedroom door open would pull their lives so far off track, that there was only one real way to fix it.

Based on the songs Hayloft and Hayloft II by mother mother.

Notes:

Since it's been about a year since i published the first Hayloft fic, and now that the second song has come out recently, I only thought it fitting to write the alternate one that I talked about. I think, or, I at least hope my writing has improved since I wrote the first one, and I hope you all enjoy.

T/W for homophobia, murder and suicidal themes, this is really not a happy fic

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

She couldn't sleep. Every close of her eyes brought her back to that place. That damn barn. The gunshot still rang through her ears, and the screams. She couldn't go on like this.

 

It wasn't the first time they had snuck out together, they'd done it so much that Amity had started to get cocky. Not set up the ten lines of defence against her parents finding out like she had once done. No pillows under her blanket, no phone playing sounds of her sleeping under her pillow, hell, she can't even remember if she'd closed her bedroom door or not as she ran down the dirt paths, already a few minutes late to meet her girlfriend.

The Blights owned a lot of land, acres and acres of farms and horses, it was how they earned their money. But the farm had started to fail, her mother, Odelia, was now out most nights at business meetings, trying to sell what land they could spare, still keep up the illusion that their failing farm was still prospering, that they weren't trying to pressure their youngest into working herself to death so she could get a scholarship.

The only thing that still brought Amity comfort was Luz. Luz, who probably would have waited all night up in the hayloft of the old barn on the edge of Blight farms, just to see her girlfriend in private. Just so they could actually be girlfriends, and not have to hide it like they did everywhere else.

Amity's family was 'traditional', read: homophobic, and while Eda would have been fine with it, Amity was still worried about telling anyone, just in case it got back to her parents.

So, the hayloft was their refuge.

"Amity!" Luz all but yelled when she came through the doors, hopping down onto a haybale and running over to hug her girlfriend.

Luz had come to town a couple years ago over the summer to work with Eda on her farm. She owned a small one, mostly saving everything for herself so she could eat, the rest she sold at the market, either legitimately, or as if they were work all cures that would 'cause the hair on your head to grow back' or 'get rid of excess fat in only a week!'.

They hadn't gotten along at first, though over the years grew closer, until…

"Hey! Sorry I'm late, I completely lost track of time going over my homework. You would not believe how much work it is to be top of the class at everything," Amity complained into Luz's shoulder.

Luz just smiled, kissing the top of her head and patting her on the back, "hey, don't worry about it, I know if you didn't show up you'd have a good reason. And hey, if you ever need any help with your homework I could help out?" She offered, causing Amity to look up at her, eyebrow raised and slightly amused, "okay fine," Luz sighed, "if your parents kick you out for coming second in class you can always stay with Eda and me at the owl house."

"That's what I thought you meant," Amity laughed.

"Fine fine Mrs smarty pants, now come on, it's so much warmer up in the hay," she complained, pulling herself up the ladders.

"That's because you refuse to wear anything more than a thin flannel over your t-shirt," Amity pointed out, following her up the ladder.

"Hey! I gotta keep up the aesthetic, how else will people know I'm gay?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure the short hair and the bisexual flag patch on your backpack give it away pretty well."

Luz scoffed, "and how can you be sure about that?"

Groaning, Amity lay back on some hay, wiggling to get more comfy, "enough arguing about how gay you are, come over and give me a hug you human radiator," she complained, throwing her arms up to let Luz lie on top of her.

Giggling, Luz practically jumped on her, her elbows either side of Amity's head, grinning down at her.

Amity turned her head to the side, trying to hide how much she was blushing, even after a year, Luz never failed to make her as happy as she was when they first started dating. Luz, grinning even more at how embarrassed Amity was, cupped her girlfriend's cheek, pushing it so they were looking at each other again.

"You're really pretty," was all Luz managed to say before Amity reached up, grabbing the back of Luz's neck, pulling her down into a kiss.

It was slow, and Amity felt like she was on fire, both from the furious blush creeping from her chest up to her ears, and from just how warm Luz was.

She pulled back, grinning up at Luz, pushing herself up onto her elbows and tugging off her jacket, throwing it off where they were sitting and onto the floor before, before once again pulling Luz into a kiss.

When they pulled apart again, they were both panting slightly, their cheeks pink, and grinning like idiots.

"Wow miss Blight," Luz laughed, "do that again and I may just start thinking you're gay."

Amity snorted, pushing Luz back slightly, "oh shut up," she laughed, running her hands through Luz's short hair. "Like you're straight either."

"I just might be!" Luz argued.

"Over my dead body," Amity rolled her eyes, once again pulling her girlfriend into a kiss, lying back on the hay, Luz on top of her.

With the blood rushing in their ears, and the complete obliviousness to the world around them, they didn't hear the footsteps outside of the barn, and it wasn't until the cocking of a gun did either of them stop and look over.

Maybe if she'd noticed her mother sooner, she could have saved Luz, but her head was still swimming from the kiss, and she didn't realise that her mother didn't believe in warning shots.

Luz didn't even scream as the bullet ripped through her chest, through her heart. She just stopped, and fell backwards.

Amity didn't even realise she was screaming until her throat was too sore. Scrambling to her knees, she rushed to hold Luz, cradling her head in her hands.

"Please, no, no, you have to say something, Luz!" She was sobbing, not even caring about the pain in her throat as she begged Luz to blink, to smile up at her saying it was a joke, just anything. But the blood soaking into her clothes was real, and Luz's unseeing eyes were just staring at the roof, not even at the girl who not even five minutes ago she was joking around with and kissing.

"Come on Amity," her mother said, lowering the shot gun finally, "that is enough, these hysterics are pointless."

Always so curt and cold.

Amity didn't move, she just held Luz, cradling her in her arms, softly begging that she would come back.

"Amity!" Her mother yelled, "that is quite enough, this is no way to act."

It felt like she was underwater, her ears still ringing from the blast, her painful sobs now turned to weak crying. Her tears spilled onto Luz's chest, getting lost in the blood. God. There was so much blood. It was everywhere. On Amity's hands, her clothes, it felt like it was everywhere.

A sick part of her wanted to know exactly which gun Odelia had grabbed on her way out, her father collected them, and taught Amity about them from a young age. The more rational part of her wanted to know if her mother planned on killing her too.

She knew that her mother would play this off as thinking someone was sneaking onto their property, that she'd only shot Luz in self defence, how was she meant to know that her own daughter was up there? It wasn't like they were using lights or anything, and Amity had left her phone in her room.

Amity can already hear her mother's excuse to the police, "Your honour, I was simply worried about my daughter's safety, she's always been such a good girl, so when I saw her room empty, naturally I panicked. I worried she'd been kidnapped! So I went to search my property, grabbing one of my husbands guns in case the attackers were still here. I heard noises from the old abandoned hayloft, and when I saw a figure moving in the dark, what else could I do but shoot? I didn't know if they had a weapon or not! I was just trying to protect my little girl."

But behind closed doors? Amity would be lucky if they just kicked her out. Her mother was a manipulative bitch.

"Come down from there this instant!" Odelia screamed, causing Amity to jump. Kissing Luz's forehead one last time, Amity climbed down from the ladder, and then she ran. Through the fields, out of their property, all the way to the Owl house.

It was past midnight when she knocked on the door, and it only took a couple minutes before Eda opened it, eyes closed as she was yawning.

"Luz, what are you doing? Did you forget your-" She didn't finish the sentence, as her eyes scanned Amity, the blood on her clothes, the tears in her eyes, Eda just froze. "Where, is she… Luz?" Was all she could stutter out.

Amity felt like she had finally snapped. Years of pressure, to be the best, to be the perfect little girl, the only thing keeping her sane was Luz, the only real friend she had since she was a child, and just like Willow, her mother had taken it away from her. She was done.

"Miss Clawthorn," she said in a steely cold tone that even she barely recognised as her own, "Luz, she… my mother…" she couldn't even say it, her throat felt like it was closing up, so, instead of doing what she wished she could, curling up into a ball and crying until she physically couldn't anymore, she swallowed down her pain, "legally, she's going to get away with it, but I will make sure she pays, okay?"

"They uh… kid? Do you wanna come in? Tell me what happened?" Eda offered, clearly trying not to look at all of the blood.

"No thank you, I have to get back home. I- I hope I can still come to the funeral, or at least know the date for it, I know the perfect way to commemorate her."

Eda nodded solemnly, clearly still processing that the child she had all but adopted was gone, "If they don't," she warned, "if you don't make them pay, I will, and I will do the same to you," she choked out, tears brimming at the corners of her eyes as she all but glared down at Amity.

"I know," Was all Amity said, before turning and walking the five miles back to her property.

She heard a door slam behind her, and a pained, anguished scream come from inside, and Amity just started running.

It was a month and a half before Luz was buried. Amity carried on like usual, feeling like a robot, not fully there at all, not being able to sleep, and only letting herself properly break down on an evening.

The worst of which was when her mother came home from a court hearing, smug as anything, laughing about how she'd not only gotten off scott free, but that the Clawthorns had to pay them, in addition to the funeral fees. "They're going to go under!" She had all but cheered, "Finally, maybe we can extend our farms over there too, erase their names from this town for good. They always were good for nothing criminals, I'm not surprised that girl, what was her name? Ah, it doesn't matter, I'm not surprised she ended up like that, good riddance I say."

Amity had excused herself, and screamed into her pillow until her voice went, coming into school the next day with a note explaining that she had bad tonsillitis and wouldn't be able to speak much over the next few days.

But, in that month an a half, all Amity had been thinking about was the day she could finally get revenge, it was the only thing that had kept her going.

Eda kept her promise, and Amity was invited to the funeral, she stayed at the back, receiving dirty looks from everyone there, knowing that it was her mother who had killed Luz. And once the crowd dispursed, the knelt at the grave. They had buried her on the Clawthorn farm, with a simple headstone and a cheap coffin. Her mother had read her obituary in Spanish, having to stop multiple times due to how hard she was crying, and once it was done she ran into the house.

The rain had started around halfway through the service, and by the end, it was raining so heavily that everyone had gone inside for the wake. Eda had been the last one to leave, standing next to Amity, offering her an umbrella which she had refused. "Remember kid, you don't make them pay in a week, I will," she had said quietly before disappearing off inside, leaving Amity alone.

She knelt by the headstone, "hey Luz," she said quietly, her voice still raspy, "I'm so, so sorry," she sobbed, "God, it's all my fault, if I had just taken precautions, if I had heard her come in, if I had pushed you out of the way!" she took a deep breath, not wanting to breakdown before she had said what she needed to. "I guess the weather is fitting, if we didn't live in a place where it always rains I'd say it was a cliché. Not like you'd complain anyway, just, God! Why did it have to be you? You! With the family that loves and cares about you, that's going to mourn for years now you're gone. With a future ahead of you as an author… now just a tragic death, branded as a criminal all because my mother doesn't want to accept who I am. And now?" she took a breath again, trying to stop her hands from shaking, or at least convince herself that they were only shaking because of the cold, "now, I would say goodbye, but it's more like a see you soon. If heaven and hell exist, lord knows I'll be going to hell for this, but if God truly is merciful, he'll let me see you just one last time before eternal hell… at least I'll be sending them down with me." Leaning forward, Amity kissed the top of the gravestone, as if she was kissing Luz on the forehead one last time, before she stood up and walked home.

The rain had gone back to a slight drizzle when she got in. She had taken the long rout home, and when she finally got back, it was dark, both outside and inside the house. Her parents had gone to bed, this was going to be so much easier than she thought.

She knew how to open the front door quietly, which floorboards would creak when she stepped on them, and exactly where the gun was kept. She knew which one her mother had used. The 1895 Winchester rifle her dad kept in pristine working fashion, it was almost like a family heirloom at this point.

She pulled it off the shelf, checking it was loaded, thank God her father had taught her how to shoot as a child.

As well as the rifle, she grabbed a petrol canister her dad kept on hand for the tractor, and a packet of matches. She'd already moved a separate canister to the hayloft, but still, it wasn't like no one would notice their house burning down, so she would have to do this fast, creeping up the stairs, pouring a trail of petrol as she walked, the fumes filling her head, making her dizzy. She put the cannister down outside their bedroom door, not wanting to accidentally ignite it with the gun.

She lined up the shots well, shooting her father in the head, putting him out of his misery quick. Odelia, on the other hand?

She woke up when the gun was fired, looking over to see her husbands brains splattered over he headframe of the bed, the bullet had gone clean through the centre of his skull. It was lucky for Amity that he always slept propped slightly up on his pillows.

"A- Amity?" Her mother stuttered out, turning on her bedside lamp, "what are you doing? Why do you have your father's gun?"

Amity cocked it once more, at least lever action rifles let her add some drama in her revenge scheme. Without saying a single word, Amity lined up her shot, and shot her mother straight through the heart.

The second shot seemed to ring out louder than the first, as Amity couldn't hear anything as she emptied the last of the petrol onto her parent's bed, and walked calmly out of the house.

She'd left a trail out of the front door, and she watched as she dropped the lit match, the fire trailing into the house, windows quickly getting lit up as the inferno inside burned on. Then. she ran to the hayloft.

It was awkward to run with a rifle in hand, but she needed it, in case the fire brigade came too early.

She quickly set to work, covering all the surfaces she could with petrol, though maybe it didn't matter. The whole thing was made of wood and full of hay, but, after the rain, Amity wanted to make sure that there was nothing left of this God forsaken place.

She tossed the match onto the floor, and lay down on the hay upstairs, closing her eyes, remembering all the good times she'd had up here. Ed and Em showing her it when they were little, carving their names into the wood, she was glad they were off at university, they probably didn't even know what had happened. Despite their failing farm, Odelia still paid to keep things under wraps, she couldn't let herself have a bad name now could she?

She remembered coming up with Luz a few months before, carving their initials into the wood. Both of them had thought it was cheesy, but, though she would never admit it, Amity loved that they did it. Teenage romance cliché or not.

As the fire slowly enveloped her, melting away the layers of ice she had built up in the last month and a half, Amity let herself believe that the warmth was just Luz, the human radiator.

 

It was reported as a tragedy. An open and shut case, but a tragedy none the less. The youngest Blight child, gone crazy with grief after her lover's funeral. A Romeo and Juliet type affair that could only ever go up in flames.

Mr and Mrs Blight were given lavish funerals, two successful farmers killed by their own daughter, their estate burned to the ground, leaving two twenty year olds their entire fortune. They sold the farm, and used the money to build up their own business.

And Amity? Her body was never recovered from the ashes of the old hayloft, but she was given a gravestone next to Luz's, and in the years following the girls tragic deaths, the Clawthorn farms grew, and expanded onto the old Blight property.

They built a new hayloft where the old one once stood, and though it was never used, it was kept in good shape by Eda. If you ask the local townsfolk, they'll tell you that between 10pm and 3am, if you go into the hayloft, you can see the girls' ghosts, laughing with each other, making up for the time they had lost, and when you do see them, the smell of smoke isn't far behind.

While they may just be ghost stories, Eda always remembered to leave an extra blanket up there, because she knew that Luz never wore enough layers, especially when going out to meet up with Amity in the hayloft.

Notes:

As bad as it probably sounds, I really hope at least one person cried while reading this, because God damn did I cry writing it. Mostly at the bit where Amity is talking to Luz's grave. Also, I don't 100% love the ending, but I really didn't want it to end with just "Amity dies, RIP bozo" I wanted to have a sort of melancholy ending that wraps everything up. What happened to Eda, to the twins, all that stuff.

Anyways! To everyone who read the whole thing, thank you so much, as per usual kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, I don't know if I'll end up writing more owl house fics since I'm not super in the fandom anymore, I just really wanted to write a part 2 to Hayloft.